WEBVTT - My Midwest Tour

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<v Speaker 1>A.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, y'all, welcome to Daniel's bus cooking show. Hey, what

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<v Speaker 2>we're doing is taking on the leftovers. We got some

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<v Speaker 2>sharred lobster tail and we're gonna feed my father in law.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope it's best good Wayne.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not too big.

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<v Speaker 2>I just made it for you. What do he thinks

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<v Speaker 2>it was good?

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<v Speaker 1>It's good?

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<v Speaker 2>How was lobster Tosh Tosh Shush show. Welcome to Tosh

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<v Speaker 2>show there, I said it. Happy to be here. Just

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<v Speaker 2>got back from the road with Eddie Gosling, a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of road dogs, a couple road dogs. We're in the

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<v Speaker 2>Midwest doing what Midwest comics do. What's that kill? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Murdering.

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<v Speaker 2>No, we're in the Midwest. It was nice, just making

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<v Speaker 2>good people have a good time. I want to thank

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<v Speaker 2>everyone for coming to the shows. But before we get

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<v Speaker 2>into it, let's delve into some of our fan mail.

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<v Speaker 1>Fan mail, so, I don't think Daniel realizes that video

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<v Speaker 1>games are the highest grossing form of entertainment in the world. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>that's sadly common with people who don't play games. They

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<v Speaker 1>just think herder nerds sitting in their mom's basement. Why

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<v Speaker 1>they think it's just for kids? Meanwhile, the industry is

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<v Speaker 1>a hole, makes more money than the entirety of the

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<v Speaker 1>movie and television streaming industries. It's massive, with millions upon

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<v Speaker 1>millions of regular normal people who play games.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, well you're wrong, but I'm glad you've felt compelled

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<v Speaker 2>to write all that in the comment section. Beefy cool.

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<v Speaker 2>People don't play video games. That's the way it's always been.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the way they always will be.

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<v Speaker 1>It's true. What do you get to rewrite the world?

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<v Speaker 2>You can't change it?

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<v Speaker 1>All right?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>But how much to sponsor the show? How much to

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<v Speaker 1>have Eddie do it in his dragon voice.

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<v Speaker 2>To get Schneze gets on this show? I can't even

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<v Speaker 2>I can't. I can't imagine it. It costs more than

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, fifty thousand I think? Is here everybody? That

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<v Speaker 2>what am I?

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<v Speaker 1>What am I pitching today?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm usually a catcher, if you know what I mean. Alright,

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<v Speaker 2>we got to sing that away. We're gonna edit the

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<v Speaker 2>singing out. I can't out what's the next one?

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry? Your dad is daddy Eddie?

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<v Speaker 2>Ah, you know that that's right in my wheelhouse. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a combination of stupid and funny. Sorry, yeah, sorry, your

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<v Speaker 2>dad is deady Eddie, you know what I say.

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<v Speaker 1>Comment of the year, common of the year.

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<v Speaker 2>Hit the bells winter Winter. Congratulations. You know you were

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<v Speaker 2>You were being sincere, but you were also being funny

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<v Speaker 2>to Eddie for his loss.

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<v Speaker 1>Definitely a dark spot when I read that, and that

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<v Speaker 1>did make me laugh. If this person gets.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't care who passes. If somebody says sorry, your dad

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<v Speaker 2>is daddy Eddie's, that's gonna tickle you for a second.

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<v Speaker 1>You made a rhyme. That's good.

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<v Speaker 2>You made a dumb rhyme. Yeah, I liked it. That's

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<v Speaker 2>pretty good.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, thanks a lot for m h w J. Three

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<v Speaker 1>PK means a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>That guy gets it.

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<v Speaker 1>That guy gets it somehow realize that some of Eddie's

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<v Speaker 1>laughs are piped in. How long does it take to edit?

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<v Speaker 2>No shade, no, no shade ed. They're not making fun

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<v Speaker 2>of us. They just don't want you to see. That

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't a real laugh. I'm looking at Eddie right now,

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<v Speaker 2>right here, he sits right here. There's zero chance that

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<v Speaker 2>we've editor ever edited Eddie laughing. We got three microphones

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<v Speaker 2>on this show, we got three cameras. None of them

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<v Speaker 2>are pointed at Eddie, but we do record his laugh

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<v Speaker 2>when it happens.

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<v Speaker 1>When is the last time you had to pull off

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<v Speaker 1>the road at a construction site to use their portage.

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<v Speaker 2>On I've already told my worst porta potty story on

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<v Speaker 2>the show, which was when I left my daughter outside

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<v Speaker 2>of it. I jumped a fence at night in Charleston,

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<v Speaker 2>South Carolina, a city that I find repulsive, and used

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<v Speaker 2>a porta potty. I think I think that was the

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<v Speaker 2>most recent as well. You know, when my house was

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<v Speaker 2>being built, I had a porta potty in the front

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<v Speaker 2>of my house, and I found that many women in

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<v Speaker 2>my neighborhood that go for walks just walk onto construction

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<v Speaker 2>sites and use the porta potty. Seems crazy, And I said, Sergio,

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<v Speaker 2>is that normally goes yep wow on construction sites all

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<v Speaker 2>the time? Like walkers will just be like, yeah, we

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<v Speaker 2>get to use it too. That's gross.

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<v Speaker 1>I went to the show in Minneapolis last Friday night

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<v Speaker 1>with a good friend. Meanwhile, my pregnant wife was home

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<v Speaker 1>having contractions. We live about an hour away, and after

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<v Speaker 1>the show wasn't about to walk out of this masterpiece early.

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<v Speaker 1>I drove home and got her to the hospital. The

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<v Speaker 1>baby's heart rate was dropping so fast and she went

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<v Speaker 1>in for an emergency C section. We had a little

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<v Speaker 1>girl at one fifty three in the morning.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah, look at that. I should have saved the comment

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<v Speaker 2>of the year for this guy, but that's already that

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<v Speaker 2>ship is sailed, so you don't get it. But this guy, well,

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<v Speaker 2>what a fan. I mean, a horrible, horrible husband, probably

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be a bad dad, But what a fan.

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<v Speaker 1>To whom it may concern. Eddie's Apple watch almost blinded

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<v Speaker 1>me at a show this weekend. If it doesn't clear

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<v Speaker 1>up soon, I may pursue legal action. I thoroughly enjoyed

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<v Speaker 1>the Milwaukee show, loved every minute of it.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna side with this person. I don't think you

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<v Speaker 2>should wear an Apple Watch on stage. Do you shut

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<v Speaker 2>off notifications?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because one time you told me you could see it,

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<v Speaker 1>so I was like, oh, it was lighting up mode there,

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<v Speaker 1>so I put that on. But this still does catch

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<v Speaker 1>the spotlight and hit the people in the front row.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes you don't need it. It serves no purpose. I've got

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<v Speaker 2>a clock for you on stage. Sure you can be

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<v Speaker 2>away from your family for a few minutes.

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<v Speaker 1>But I take it off and I have such a

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<v Speaker 1>like a bad sun tan thing happening. Maybe I'll put

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<v Speaker 1>a bracelet on.

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<v Speaker 2>You just never take a watch off. Huh. You just

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<v Speaker 2>wear a watch all the time. You know what you do?

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<v Speaker 2>Ed Okay, okay, here's what you do. You do what

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<v Speaker 2>my grandpa did. Grandpa toash Okay, he always wore his

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<v Speaker 2>watch with the watch on the inside. Makes sense, and

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<v Speaker 2>because he always was like, well it's easier to tell

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<v Speaker 2>time when I can see it this way. But you

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<v Speaker 2>only do that just for when you're on stage. You

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<v Speaker 2>turn it in right then we cover up your tan line.

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<v Speaker 2>You still have your watch so that your wife Lord

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<v Speaker 2>knows that Megan can't get a hold of your heads.

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<v Speaker 2>Are gonna roll, say.

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<v Speaker 1>What I'm doing it? I like this little just spin

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<v Speaker 1>it around.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't know if you have to loosen

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<v Speaker 2>it a notch or if you wear it loose enough

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<v Speaker 2>that you can spin it.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, just it's a velcrow so it's easy.

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<v Speaker 2>You have a velcrow watch where it is?

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<v Speaker 1>Child?

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<v Speaker 2>All right? Well, let you know what, Let's give people

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<v Speaker 2>a real breakdown of the tour. Yeah, and you Casha,

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<v Speaker 2>We're gonna talk about the tour today on the show

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<v Speaker 2>What Tour the World Tour? Oh, JT in the house. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't a world tour that I was on. I

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<v Speaker 2>just went to the Midwest. I flew there with my

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<v Speaker 2>kids and my wife and Eddie and Pete, and then

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<v Speaker 2>when we landed, my in laws flew in. And then

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<v Speaker 2>we met our bus driver and he was wearing a

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<v Speaker 2>big cross. And you want your bus driver to be

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<v Speaker 2>super religious. Yeah, you know when you're falling asleep on

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<v Speaker 2>the highway at seventy miles an hour, you want to

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<v Speaker 2>know that up front that guy knows that. Well, not

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<v Speaker 2>everything's in his control. So we were in Kansas City

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<v Speaker 2>for night one of the tour, and I was a

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<v Speaker 2>little nervous for the first show, but it went fine.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd do like an hour and a half. Did you

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<v Speaker 2>enjoy Kansas City showy? I thought. I thought they were nice,

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<v Speaker 2>and we had Q thirty nine barbecue afterwards. I wonder

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<v Speaker 2>if people agree that that's one of the top barbecue

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<v Speaker 2>spots in KC. It was good. Yeah, I thought it

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<v Speaker 2>was great. They were out of sausage. I remember, hey, youth,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you're on a gold belly, but

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<v Speaker 2>send me some sausage because I ordered I wanted sausage

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<v Speaker 2>and then after the show. See Pete makes me order

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<v Speaker 2>before I go on stage. Then when I get off stage,

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<v Speaker 2>the food is there. But so many times he's like, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>they didn't have blank so instead you're getting elk yea.

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<v Speaker 2>Desserts are always the worst. I'll be like, oh, I'll

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<v Speaker 2>take a cheesecake and he's like, oh, I got you

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<v Speaker 2>Tara Masoux. I'm like, why don'd you go fuck yourself?

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<v Speaker 2>Tara Masoux and cheesecake are not in the same family. Oh, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>what do you want to I wanted to brownie? Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>what'd you end up getting me? I got you a

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<v Speaker 2>cheese tart. It's just all we it. It's weird. Anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>I did say the R word on stage right at

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<v Speaker 2>the beginning of the show, and I probably shouldn't have,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know, in context, I'll let the audience here

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<v Speaker 2>be the judge. I don't like to do material, but

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<v Speaker 2>I congratulated Kansas City on winning the NBA Championship, and

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<v Speaker 2>then you know, I make it made reference to you

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<v Speaker 2>can't convince me Oklahoma City in Kansas City are different places.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you do a punch in the face and

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<v Speaker 2>then I know what you're saying. Is you shouldn't punch you,

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<v Speaker 2>And then I said the R word. I'm like, but

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<v Speaker 2>that's what you're calling yourself, so it's not you get it.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I'm in the clear. I probably shouldn't have

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<v Speaker 2>said it. My fault.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, they said it in your head.

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<v Speaker 2>In my head they said the word yep. So but anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>we stayed the night in Kansas City. Did I like

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<v Speaker 2>my hotel?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? We did.

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<v Speaker 2>It had a great you know what I liked about

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<v Speaker 2>my hotel? Hold on, let me just give some props.

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<v Speaker 2>This is almost gonna sound like a free play. The

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<v Speaker 2>Crossroads Hotel had a restaurant in it, and the hotel

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<v Speaker 2>was quirky, kind of funky industrial. I didn't have a

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<v Speaker 2>good view out my room, that's for sure. I was

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<v Speaker 2>looking into a parking garage. That was disappointing. But where

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<v Speaker 2>you made up for it was your restaurant. They made pizza.

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<v Speaker 2>Their pizzas were delicious. But they had a salad there

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm and I don't get excited about salads ever,

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<v Speaker 2>but this is just kind of a pre pizza salad.

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<v Speaker 2>It was unbelievable. Yeah, I'm calling it one of my

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<v Speaker 2>top three favorite salads. And I know if I know,

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<v Speaker 2>if I get the the ingredients, I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 2>get the ratios. Right. What was the salad I got?

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<v Speaker 1>That was a charred cucumber salad.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a charred cucumber salad. I believe it's tell

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<v Speaker 2>me exactly how to make it crossroads so I can

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<v Speaker 2>try to duplicate it at home. That salad was delicious. Okay. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>so sorry for saying the R word. Q thirty nine,

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<v Speaker 2>you forgot your sausages. It was my first show, probably

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<v Speaker 2>went long because the first night I'm just trying to

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<v Speaker 2>figure out, okay, what material am I doing? And then

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<v Speaker 2>the next day we were going to Omaha. We had

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<v Speaker 2>to leave Kansas City early because we wanted to get

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<v Speaker 2>to Omaha by noon to go to the College World Series.

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<v Speaker 2>Because the College World Series of Baseball is a bucket

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<v Speaker 2>list item for my father in law, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>keep looking at him every time he said you know this,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, Daniel, it's my bucket list to I'm like, okay, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm glad everything on your bucket list is obtainable, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>in a two week period. I worry about his bucket list.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, nothing on it is out of reach,

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<v Speaker 2>and I feel like we're going to be wrapped up

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<v Speaker 2>with it, you know, any day now. Now. The theater

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<v Speaker 2>that we were performing at, we just asked, hey, do

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<v Speaker 2>you guys have any tickets to the baseball game? And

0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:59.320
<v Speaker 2>they said yes. I'm not against paying for tickets, but

0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:02.160
<v Speaker 2>they had tickets, and they go, well, we have a box,

0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:06.079
<v Speaker 2>you know, a suite, but it's just you don't get

0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.800
<v Speaker 2>the whole suite. It's a partial. There's another group in

0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.959
<v Speaker 2>there that uses it. And then you guys can go

0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.120
<v Speaker 2>and they've got food and TVs and and you know,

0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:18.040
<v Speaker 2>you got some seating outside of your window and you

0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:20.240
<v Speaker 2>get to watch. I'm like, oh, cool, we'll do it

0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:22.360
<v Speaker 2>and bring the father in law there. Well, we go there.

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:27.400
<v Speaker 2>The other party is already there, and these people couldn't

0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:31.240
<v Speaker 2>have been more confused at our arrival, like who are you?

0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:35.240
<v Speaker 2>And I don't do well in those situations. I'm just like, yeah,

0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.640
<v Speaker 2>we're here. We have tickets here in my seat because

0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:40.280
<v Speaker 2>you still actually had a signed seating. But she was like, oh,

0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:42.760
<v Speaker 2>these are ours, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, well we

0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:44.520
<v Speaker 2>got the She's like, well, what group are you with.

0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:46.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I'm not with a group. And she's and

0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm just I show her the phone. It's we're in

0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.680
<v Speaker 2>the right place. And then she's like, Okay, okay, we

0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 2>welcome you. We well, and she's holding her hands like

0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:58.200
<v Speaker 2>this and she keeps saying it over and over, Okay,

0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:02.080
<v Speaker 2>we welcome you. I'm like, first of all, this you

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:06.080
<v Speaker 2>don't need to welcome me. I have, I have. I

0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.160
<v Speaker 2>was given these tickets. I don't need to tell you

0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:10.400
<v Speaker 2>where I got them from. But I'm sure she works

0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:13.160
<v Speaker 2>for the same company that we got the tickets for.

0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:15.319
<v Speaker 2>And she's like, we've used these tickets for like twenty

0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:17.640
<v Speaker 2>years and we've never had anybody come into the box

0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:23.120
<v Speaker 2>besides us. I don't care about the backstory. This is

0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:26.880
<v Speaker 2>this is where our tickets are. And but she's kept going,

0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:31.600
<v Speaker 2>we well, we welcome you, and I don't. There's there's

0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:35.240
<v Speaker 2>That's what I hate when people talk about when they

0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:37.760
<v Speaker 2>shit on California, but they say that the South is

0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.280
<v Speaker 2>so sweet and nice, and I know this is omah,

0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:43.160
<v Speaker 2>so I don't even know what that means. But I

0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:49.160
<v Speaker 2>felt very unwelcomed. We will we welcome you. She's like,

0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:50.920
<v Speaker 2>get out of my way. I'm gonna eat a sandwich.

0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:53.959
<v Speaker 2>They had a spread of food in there. They had

0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:59.440
<v Speaker 2>weird food too, and like pulled chicken, veggie patties, some

0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:05.840
<v Speaker 2>guas chips. There's a salsa station and some bad popcorn.

0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:11.600
<v Speaker 2>My son liked the popcorn. Whatever, we welcome you. So anyway, now, uh,

0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, ever since the tour, whenever I see somebody,

0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:17.600
<v Speaker 2>I just go, we welcome you, And then my daughter

0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:19.760
<v Speaker 2>does it, and she's two, and she's and she does

0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:24.360
<v Speaker 2>the hands too, and she goes, we welcome you. I

0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:28.360
<v Speaker 2>just hope this somehow gets back to that lady, that

0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:31.440
<v Speaker 2>that I was the one in your suite and your

0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:36.240
<v Speaker 2>group was very unwelcoming, even though you said forty times

0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:41.440
<v Speaker 2>we welcome you. And the game was dumb. I'm the

0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:45.760
<v Speaker 2>base I stayed maybe an inning and a half. I

0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:49.720
<v Speaker 2>watched the first in the Coastal Carolina put up six runs.

0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.080
<v Speaker 2>I went and bought a couple of hats for my

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:55.080
<v Speaker 2>in laws. I'm like, here, you guys, go little souvenirs. Uh.

0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:58.560
<v Speaker 2>And then I took both my children, jumped in an

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:02.640
<v Speaker 2>uber and left. And the people that are like, you

0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:04.840
<v Speaker 2>can't come back in if you leave now, and I'm like, yeah, yeah,

0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:08.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't care. I'm I'm out of here. Good now.

0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.880
<v Speaker 2>I took both the kids. I told my wife stay

0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:15.640
<v Speaker 2>enjoy the game with the welcoming people, and I just

0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.200
<v Speaker 2>brought the kids back to the hotel. We get in

0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:25.440
<v Speaker 2>the pool, we order virgin pina coladas, and the bartender

0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.280
<v Speaker 2>didn't even want to charge me. She's like, you don't

0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:29.080
<v Speaker 2>need to pay. I'm like, ah, but I can't tip

0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.080
<v Speaker 2>you if you don't charge me, because it's you know,

0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:33.120
<v Speaker 2>I gotta put on the room. She's like, okay, I

0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:34.560
<v Speaker 2>might go to charge me. And then I go put

0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:38.080
<v Speaker 2>fifty percent on for you. Look at that. Yeah, I

0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:39.400
<v Speaker 2>was being welcoming.

0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:40.000
<v Speaker 1>That's gonna say.

0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:42.240
<v Speaker 2>And that was it. And we didn't even spend the

0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:46.040
<v Speaker 2>night in Omaha. Just did the show and the show

0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:50.240
<v Speaker 2>was good. The people of Omaha were welcoming. And then

0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.560
<v Speaker 2>we just left that night to go to Minneapolis because

0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.240
<v Speaker 2>it's a long drive. Now this is where things get ridiculous.

0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:59.440
<v Speaker 2>We drive all night long to Minneapolis until about three

0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:05.200
<v Speaker 2>in the morning, and I stay in the bus asleep

0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:09.080
<v Speaker 2>downtown Minneapolis on the side of the road next to

0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:12.760
<v Speaker 2>the theater, just me and the bus with two children.

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:16.320
<v Speaker 2>Everybody else gets out and goes into the hotel. Now,

0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.960
<v Speaker 2>this hotel was like a couple blocks away in this

0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:24.880
<v Speaker 2>area of downtown Minneapolis. I mean, I have to be

0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:30.200
<v Speaker 2>honest with you, not the safest, sketchy sketchy yep. Okay,

0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.240
<v Speaker 2>we'll point out some of the people that we saw

0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.400
<v Speaker 2>ran into later. But my wife goes in to go

0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:40.040
<v Speaker 2>sleep into the hotel, and then the next day when

0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:44.760
<v Speaker 2>I go, I pass a hooker and not a good

0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:48.520
<v Speaker 2>hooker either, like like pulling her skirt down because her

0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:52.280
<v Speaker 2>big fucking gross asses like hanging out of it, and

0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:57.600
<v Speaker 2>her pimp walking out of the front hotel door. And

0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:00.440
<v Speaker 2>by the way, this hotel doesn't have a lot, just

0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.280
<v Speaker 2>has a woman on a desk. It's almost like it

0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:06.320
<v Speaker 2>felt like a youth hostel. But whatever. The room that

0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:11.240
<v Speaker 2>we had was enormous, just a huge suite, I guess.

0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.240
<v Speaker 2>But my wife was terrified. She went in there in

0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:16.040
<v Speaker 2>the middle of the night, couldn't like find the bed,

0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:20.439
<v Speaker 2>and I like walk in with the kids and I go, okay,

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.880
<v Speaker 2>we're leaving, and we just we just left and went

0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.080
<v Speaker 2>to the Four Seasons. Now, why didn't they go to

0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:26.800
<v Speaker 2>the Four Seasons in the first place, Well, that's because

0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:28.840
<v Speaker 2>they said they were full a few months before, but

0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.360
<v Speaker 2>apparently rooms had opened up and we just went down

0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:35.000
<v Speaker 2>the street and now we're at the four. I took

0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:36.959
<v Speaker 2>my in laws out. I said, Eddie, you're staying at

0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:39.680
<v Speaker 2>this crack hotel. Pete, you're staying at the crack hotel.

0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Bus driver, you're staying at the crack hotel. In Laws,

0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:46.639
<v Speaker 2>you're with me, kids, you're with me, wife, You do

0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:47.160
<v Speaker 2>what you want.

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:48.879
<v Speaker 1>I already impacked.

0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:51.479
<v Speaker 2>Eddie didn't want to move because he was unpacked. And

0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:54.040
<v Speaker 2>then Pete loses his mind because he didn't realize that

0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:57.720
<v Speaker 2>Eddie every day on tour unpacks in a hotel and

0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.320
<v Speaker 2>puts things in drawers. Love it.

0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:02.400
<v Speaker 1>Especially two days I'm like, I'm living here.

0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:03.600
<v Speaker 2>Eddie's like the accountant.

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:04.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah.

0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:08.360
<v Speaker 2>It just got everything all organized. So I and day

0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:10.600
<v Speaker 2>one my family went to the Mall of America and

0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:12.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I'm like, They're like, do you want to come?

0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:14.359
<v Speaker 2>Do you want to? And I'm like, what, I've been

0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:18.719
<v Speaker 2>in Minneapolis three hundred times. The Mall of America is

0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.920
<v Speaker 2>possibly the worst place you could ever go.

0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:23.679
<v Speaker 1>Like, I'll go to the airport first.

0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 2>The airport's nicer, but no, So they went there and

0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:28.760
<v Speaker 2>it was miserable. But you know, I guess my son

0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:31.840
<v Speaker 2>had fun. Yeah, my daughter slept in a stroller, that

0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:34.480
<v Speaker 2>type of stuff. You know, Nickelodeon go on a few

0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:36.880
<v Speaker 2>roller coasters or whatever they have in the middle. I mean,

0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:40.840
<v Speaker 2>how many stores that you thought had gone out of business?

0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:44.879
<v Speaker 2>Can you visit? There's a Toys r Us in the

0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.240
<v Speaker 2>Mall of America. Aren't they out of business? Yes? I

0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.160
<v Speaker 2>would think, no they are. I thought they like famously

0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 2>went out of business. Whatever. Minneapolis. First night was great,

0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:56.879
<v Speaker 2>Second night was oddly not my it was second night

0:18:57.119 --> 0:18:59.920
<v Speaker 2>wasn't my favorite, and that was my fault, not there.

0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:03.119
<v Speaker 2>I got a little mush mouthed sometimes I get mushmouth

0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:05.960
<v Speaker 2>on stage and words don't come out as perfect as

0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:09.240
<v Speaker 2>I wanted them to. You don't care. They were. But

0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:14.240
<v Speaker 2>near the theater was a big old banner of a tiny,

0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:19.640
<v Speaker 2>tiny Asian man, mister Lewis Lee, owner of the Acme

0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.159
<v Speaker 2>Comedy Club, which is a club that I got my

0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:25.119
<v Speaker 2>start at, probably one of the first real clubs that

0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:27.960
<v Speaker 2>ever headlined me. You know, it's like kind of it

0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:31.760
<v Speaker 2>is in the Warehouse district, you go down below. The

0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:34.600
<v Speaker 2>following day, I took my family for a walk and

0:19:34.640 --> 0:19:37.320
<v Speaker 2>I made them walk by the club and then I said,

0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:40.159
<v Speaker 2>let's go in, and there was nobody there. But then

0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:44.639
<v Speaker 2>I saw an Asian woman cleaning, and I like knocked

0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:47.320
<v Speaker 2>on the window and she came over and she unlocked

0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:49.160
<v Speaker 2>the door, and I said, hi, I used to work

0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:52.680
<v Speaker 2>here a long time ago. I'm friends with the owner,

0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:55.200
<v Speaker 2>Lewis Lee. Can I come in and show my family.

0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:57.680
<v Speaker 2>She doesn't say a single word. She just leaves the

0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:00.640
<v Speaker 2>door open and walks away. And so we all walk

0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:04.080
<v Speaker 2>in and we go back to the green room, and

0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:06.080
<v Speaker 2>the green room leads right onto the stage, and then

0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:09.399
<v Speaker 2>we walked onto the stage and she just immediately turned

0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:13.199
<v Speaker 2>all the stage lights on, like from the booth. She's like,

0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:16.399
<v Speaker 2>just made the place look beautiful. Still hasn't said a word.

0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:19.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, well, that was nice. And then we walked

0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:21.399
<v Speaker 2>around and then we walked out, and she walked up

0:20:21.440 --> 0:20:22.960
<v Speaker 2>behind us and I said, thank you so much, and

0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:27.879
<v Speaker 2>she's locked the door. This Minneapolis was the first place

0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:31.480
<v Speaker 2>on tour that I got violent diarrhea. Had I had

0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:34.359
<v Speaker 2>some Mediterranean food at the time. It was delicious, but

0:20:34.600 --> 0:20:37.000
<v Speaker 2>I I, you know, it didn't it didn't stay in

0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:39.120
<v Speaker 2>me long, but I made it to a toilet.

0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:39.840
<v Speaker 1>Good for you.

0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:43.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. The funniest thing that happened in Minneapolis certainly wasn't

0:20:43.560 --> 0:20:45.880
<v Speaker 2>me on stage. My father in law was walking around

0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:47.280
<v Speaker 2>the city with me, and you have to understand, this

0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:51.480
<v Speaker 2>man has never traveled outside of Florida, so everything he

0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:55.359
<v Speaker 2>sees is new to him, and he tries to like

0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:59.560
<v Speaker 2>give me like tidbits, like, oh, you'll find this one interesting.

0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:05.840
<v Speaker 2>You see that building over there, that's US Bank's international headquarters.

0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.680
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, no, it's not. That's where the Vikings play.

0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:14.160
<v Speaker 2>I kid you, not US Bank Stadium. It says stadium

0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:17.320
<v Speaker 2>right underneath US Bank Massive. And then he spends the

0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:19.920
<v Speaker 2>next thirty minutes trying to look up on his phone

0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:22.439
<v Speaker 2>to see if I'm right, and then eventually he's like, Yo,

0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:24.520
<v Speaker 2>it turns out you are right. But I know that

0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:28.480
<v Speaker 2>international headquarters is around here somewhere. I'm like, yeah, it

0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:30.560
<v Speaker 2>probably doesn't say stadium on the side of it.

0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:33.639
<v Speaker 1>The rest of the time of the bus, relentlessly pointing

0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:36.200
<v Speaker 1>out any building and asking him what bank that was

0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:37.000
<v Speaker 1>was so funny.

0:21:37.040 --> 0:21:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh, we didn't let up any baseball field that we saw.

0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:41.800
<v Speaker 2>We're like, oh, you've got to go to that bank

0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:47.680
<v Speaker 2>it's so beautiful, like that bank is so nice. Yeah,

0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:50.880
<v Speaker 2>we know we tease him pretty hard, but he commits,

0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:55.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, he puts himself in those situations. Bucket. Yeah.

0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:59.360
<v Speaker 2>And then from Minneapolis we headed over to Milwaukee. Milwaukee

0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:01.720
<v Speaker 2>was too hot, by the way, every place we were

0:22:01.760 --> 0:22:08.000
<v Speaker 2>at was like ninety degrees. Oh, it's just miserable. In Milwaukee,

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:12.200
<v Speaker 2>who was it was Donut Monster. Thank you. They they

0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:16.320
<v Speaker 2>gave us like four dozen donuts, which is not If

0:22:16.320 --> 0:22:18.159
<v Speaker 2>you want to give me donuts, that's nice, but like,

0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:20.399
<v Speaker 2>give me two. There's nothing I can do with that

0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:22.119
<v Speaker 2>many dons. I just had to start giving them away

0:22:22.119 --> 0:22:24.399
<v Speaker 2>to people and then people like I don't want donuts.

0:22:24.920 --> 0:22:27.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, well it's it's they're free, and they're like, yeah,

0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:32.040
<v Speaker 2>I didn't think you were gonna charge me. Milwaukee, we

0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:35.040
<v Speaker 2>did two shows that night, which is never my favorite,

0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:37.119
<v Speaker 2>but it allows me to do laundry in the venue,

0:22:37.240 --> 0:22:39.040
<v Speaker 2>which also isn't fun because I'm just down there in

0:22:39.040 --> 0:22:43.040
<v Speaker 2>my underwear, shirtless, and like staff is just walking by,

0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:46.480
<v Speaker 2>like what is going on? Is that the performer? And

0:22:46.560 --> 0:22:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, yeah, it's just doing laundry.

0:22:48.720 --> 0:22:50.480
<v Speaker 1>I think the first time I saw you do that

0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:53.280
<v Speaker 1>just like, not wear anything other than you're washing everything.

0:22:53.320 --> 0:22:55.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, huh, just wouldn't. I wouldn't pick you to

0:22:55.600 --> 0:22:55.800
<v Speaker 1>do that.

0:22:55.920 --> 0:22:57.840
<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't have any I didn't have any extra clothes,

0:22:57.880 --> 0:22:59.360
<v Speaker 2>and I want all of them to be clean. I'm

0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:01.399
<v Speaker 2>not gonna keep pair on. So I'm just in my

0:23:01.520 --> 0:23:04.680
<v Speaker 2>underwear water and I'm watching everybody's stuff, like my mother

0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:08.920
<v Speaker 2>in law. You ever fold your mother in law's unmentionables? Huh?

0:23:08.920 --> 0:23:09.639
<v Speaker 2>Any of you?

0:23:09.680 --> 0:23:10.399
<v Speaker 1>No, I don't know.

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:12.480
<v Speaker 2>I've done it so many times. I can't. I don't

0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:15.160
<v Speaker 2>even care. I just you know, shake him out there.

0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:19.200
<v Speaker 2>We go, put the fold there, and then Pete was like, hey,

0:23:19.520 --> 0:23:22.560
<v Speaker 2>right after the show we're taken off, do you want

0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:26.360
<v Speaker 2>me to fold the last load? I'm like, or put

0:23:26.400 --> 0:23:28.240
<v Speaker 2>it in the in the bus. I'm like, no, I

0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:30.359
<v Speaker 2>don't want you to touch I didn't want him touching

0:23:30.640 --> 0:23:33.280
<v Speaker 2>my mother in law and my wife's, my daughter's panties,

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:35.680
<v Speaker 2>Pete's and he just kept on, I'll do it, It's

0:23:35.720 --> 0:23:38.520
<v Speaker 2>no big deal. He kept pushing.

0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:39.800
<v Speaker 1>Why what's going on?

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:43.400
<v Speaker 2>He kept pushing. He's like, I'll do it, no big deal.

0:23:43.600 --> 0:23:45.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't yeah, I don't care. I'll close my eyes

0:23:45.480 --> 0:23:49.360
<v Speaker 2>and do it. The hotel that I stayed at in Milwaukee,

0:23:49.760 --> 0:23:51.960
<v Speaker 2>they had little ukuleles in the room, and my kids

0:23:52.000 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 2>loved those so much that when I came home, my

0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:59.160
<v Speaker 2>wife had bought two ukuleles, and I'm like, oh, I'm like, can't,

0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:01.800
<v Speaker 2>can I couldn't. That just been like a moment for them,

0:24:02.040 --> 0:24:04.600
<v Speaker 2>like a memory. Oh remember when we were playing with

0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:07.600
<v Speaker 2>the ukuleles. Now I have to have two ukuleles, which

0:24:07.640 --> 0:24:12.160
<v Speaker 2>eventually I will give to a guest. And then off

0:24:12.200 --> 0:24:15.480
<v Speaker 2>to Madison, Wisconsin from Milwaukee. And that's a short drive

0:24:15.720 --> 0:24:19.160
<v Speaker 2>and everyone loves Madison. But we had the same problem

0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:21.920
<v Speaker 2>that most people have when you travel, where your hotel

0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:24.879
<v Speaker 2>room won't let you check in till four o'clock and

0:24:24.960 --> 0:24:28.480
<v Speaker 2>we're they're at noon, and I'm like, oh, this stinks.

0:24:29.040 --> 0:24:31.760
<v Speaker 2>So now I'm stuck in the bus. My wife's like,

0:24:32.119 --> 0:24:33.919
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna the girls are gonna grow Me and mom

0:24:33.920 --> 0:24:36.080
<v Speaker 2>are gonna go run and get massages. I'm like, oh, great,

0:24:36.560 --> 0:24:39.480
<v Speaker 2>I'll just sit in this bus while my daughter naps

0:24:39.520 --> 0:24:43.840
<v Speaker 2>because I can't leave. Oh. And then then my wife

0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:45.920
<v Speaker 2>came back and they're like, oh, the massages were great,

0:24:45.960 --> 0:24:47.879
<v Speaker 2>so so me and my father in law went to

0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:50.399
<v Speaker 2>get massages, and I'm gonna tell you something right now.

0:24:50.680 --> 0:24:55.160
<v Speaker 2>I fell in love that massuse in Madison. Oh my goodness.

0:24:55.240 --> 0:24:58.480
<v Speaker 2>She had tiny hands and she was so she talks

0:24:58.560 --> 0:25:01.720
<v Speaker 2>so softly, and when she massaged you, if she was

0:25:01.720 --> 0:25:04.120
<v Speaker 2>going to go do something in the room, she never

0:25:04.240 --> 0:25:07.040
<v Speaker 2>let a hand leave your body. She would like go

0:25:07.119 --> 0:25:11.080
<v Speaker 2>get something, but still kept her hand. Ah, she was magical.

0:25:11.480 --> 0:25:15.640
<v Speaker 2>She didn't. It was nothing, you know a John moment. No, No,

0:25:15.640 --> 0:25:18.920
<v Speaker 2>it was nothing. There was nothing sexual. This was just

0:25:18.920 --> 0:25:22.280
<v Speaker 2>just a good massage. Felt amazing. The problem with Madison

0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:25.879
<v Speaker 2>it was Sunday. We're in Madison, Wisconsin on Sunday, and

0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:29.239
<v Speaker 2>we did two shows. And for whatever reason, now on

0:25:29.320 --> 0:25:32.560
<v Speaker 2>tour on Sundays, if you add a second show, they

0:25:32.640 --> 0:25:35.960
<v Speaker 2>put it before your first show. So I had an

0:25:36.000 --> 0:25:38.800
<v Speaker 2>eight o'clock show and then I had a five o'clock show.

0:25:39.640 --> 0:25:44.240
<v Speaker 2>And I don't care how liberal your town is. When

0:25:44.240 --> 0:25:46.879
<v Speaker 2>you say the things that I say and it's still

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:51.639
<v Speaker 2>sunny outside, you feel kind of dirty. So I found

0:25:51.640 --> 0:25:55.040
<v Speaker 2>that five o'clock show a bit awkward. Did you like it?

0:25:55.040 --> 0:25:57.000
<v Speaker 1>It was No, they were tight. It was early. It's

0:25:57.040 --> 0:25:57.600
<v Speaker 1>just so early.

0:25:57.840 --> 0:26:00.679
<v Speaker 2>They were tight. You can't help it. If you're at

0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:03.719
<v Speaker 2>a show at five o'clock, your body just knows that

0:26:03.800 --> 0:26:05.800
<v Speaker 2>this is inappropriate behavior.

0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:06.800
<v Speaker 1>What are we doing here?

0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:09.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, then we've got two days off. We've got a

0:26:09.680 --> 0:26:12.639
<v Speaker 2>Monday and Tuesday. I used to work Mondays and Tuesdays.

0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:14.800
<v Speaker 2>But the reality is you leave a lot of money

0:26:14.840 --> 0:26:17.960
<v Speaker 2>on the table when you perform on a Monday or Tuesday.

0:26:18.000 --> 0:26:21.280
<v Speaker 2>Your ticket sales just naturally fall off. I mean, unless

0:26:21.280 --> 0:26:25.720
<v Speaker 2>you're just you know, at the peak of your popularity.

0:26:26.119 --> 0:26:29.320
<v Speaker 2>But I have that ship is whoo, those days are

0:26:29.359 --> 0:26:32.520
<v Speaker 2>long gone, so I need to wait till a Wednesday

0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:34.679
<v Speaker 2>to start performing. So what am I gonna do with

0:26:34.680 --> 0:26:40.160
<v Speaker 2>my two days off? I head up to Belgium Wisconsin.

0:26:40.640 --> 0:26:43.240
<v Speaker 2>Ever even heard of it? Nope, none of us had

0:26:43.240 --> 0:26:46.600
<v Speaker 2>plans really. Pete is like, I'm gonna go visit some

0:26:46.720 --> 0:26:50.800
<v Speaker 2>family in Chicago. Eddie's like, I got some friends of

0:26:50.840 --> 0:26:53.760
<v Speaker 2>the family at a lake house. I'm gonna go up

0:26:53.800 --> 0:26:57.240
<v Speaker 2>there and go fishing. Did you catch anything cat one

0:26:57.280 --> 0:27:00.840
<v Speaker 2>big pike, A pike? Yeah, I thought you caught walleye.

0:27:01.000 --> 0:27:03.160
<v Speaker 1>No kid cut a walleye the night before. I got

0:27:03.160 --> 0:27:04.640
<v Speaker 1>a pike. A lot of teeth on a pike.

0:27:04.840 --> 0:27:05.800
<v Speaker 2>You're not gonna eat a pike.

0:27:06.000 --> 0:27:06.640
<v Speaker 1>I threw it back.

0:27:06.720 --> 0:27:09.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, get rid of it. Do you eat that walleye? Nope?

0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:11.200
<v Speaker 1>Everyone went back with them. No, we wants to clean them.

0:27:11.280 --> 0:27:11.719
<v Speaker 1>I get it.

0:27:12.160 --> 0:27:16.359
<v Speaker 2>Huh, you're not really fishing. There's torture and animals were fishing.

0:27:16.359 --> 0:27:18.320
<v Speaker 2>We're eating. No, fishing's eating.

0:27:18.840 --> 0:27:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Well, you're.

0:27:21.320 --> 0:27:25.800
<v Speaker 2>We stayed in Belgium, Wisconsin on the lake on on

0:27:25.880 --> 0:27:29.080
<v Speaker 2>Lake Michigan, and my son and I went into Lake Michigan.

0:27:29.840 --> 0:27:33.439
<v Speaker 2>Tons of dead little bait fish everywhere. Is that normal?

0:27:33.640 --> 0:27:36.800
<v Speaker 2>What is that? Why are there thousands and thousands of

0:27:36.880 --> 0:27:40.560
<v Speaker 2>dead fish on the water anyway? Uh, we went in

0:27:40.600 --> 0:27:44.160
<v Speaker 2>the water. It was frigid. I mean, one of those

0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:46.520
<v Speaker 2>where cold shock is going to hit you and you're

0:27:46.560 --> 0:27:49.119
<v Speaker 2>gonna die. I got panicked. I told myself, I we

0:27:49.160 --> 0:27:51.680
<v Speaker 2>get it out. I can't do this any longer. I'm

0:27:51.720 --> 0:27:56.240
<v Speaker 2>not a cold plunger. But we stayed at this house

0:27:56.480 --> 0:27:59.760
<v Speaker 2>and it was cute. It's kind of a ghost town.

0:28:00.080 --> 0:28:03.960
<v Speaker 2>Went over to Port Washington, had some ice cream a

0:28:03.960 --> 0:28:06.840
<v Speaker 2>little airstream and they did it right because they gave

0:28:06.960 --> 0:28:10.520
<v Speaker 2>kid ice cream and a cone this big, and then

0:28:10.520 --> 0:28:12.439
<v Speaker 2>they just put like a spoonful on top of it,

0:28:12.480 --> 0:28:15.080
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, genius. Nobody needs more ice cream than

0:28:15.080 --> 0:28:18.160
<v Speaker 2>that for a child went to a breakfast place at PJ.

0:28:18.320 --> 0:28:23.399
<v Speaker 2>Piper's Pancake House in Cedarberg. I'm sure people love it.

0:28:23.600 --> 0:28:28.200
<v Speaker 2>My daughter was being a so that was that was tough.

0:28:29.760 --> 0:28:32.879
<v Speaker 2>I mean just she was just out of control. But

0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:37.280
<v Speaker 2>I didn't love it. The town there seemed quaint. I

0:28:37.320 --> 0:28:39.920
<v Speaker 2>was just in these quaint little lakes towns. It was

0:28:40.000 --> 0:28:42.600
<v Speaker 2>nice enough, but I was over it. I was like, Okay,

0:28:43.160 --> 0:28:46.560
<v Speaker 2>I always say, oh, we could live here, this is beautiful,

0:28:46.960 --> 0:28:49.080
<v Speaker 2>and then after like twenty four hours, I'm like, get

0:28:49.120 --> 0:28:51.520
<v Speaker 2>me out of here, all right. Well, anyway, so two

0:28:51.560 --> 0:28:54.200
<v Speaker 2>days in this little lake town and I was over it,

0:28:54.240 --> 0:28:56.160
<v Speaker 2>Like let's get let's get back to work. We got

0:28:56.160 --> 0:29:00.440
<v Speaker 2>to do our final big shows in Chicago at the

0:29:00.520 --> 0:29:05.760
<v Speaker 2>Chicago Theater, a beautiful theater. Oh my goodness. Oh man,

0:29:05.960 --> 0:29:09.000
<v Speaker 2>my father in law is impressed. If I ever actually

0:29:09.000 --> 0:29:10.840
<v Speaker 2>told him how much we got paid to do shows,

0:29:10.880 --> 0:29:15.000
<v Speaker 2>he would lose his mind. Uh. Anyway, we go to Chicago.

0:29:15.520 --> 0:29:18.280
<v Speaker 2>We get dropped off at the hotel and what happens

0:29:18.360 --> 0:29:21.959
<v Speaker 2>Immediately Pete and the bus driver drive to the venue.

0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:22.920
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

0:29:23.120 --> 0:29:27.640
<v Speaker 2>And then the bus driver who Pete had been just

0:29:27.760 --> 0:29:31.360
<v Speaker 2>the whole time, singing his praises like this guy, I'm

0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:34.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm a fan of this driver, which is weird because

0:29:34.440 --> 0:29:36.400
<v Speaker 2>he you know, Pete's Jewish and this guy's got a

0:29:36.520 --> 0:29:40.400
<v Speaker 2>huge crucifix on his chest. It's staying away Pete. It

0:29:40.440 --> 0:29:44.320
<v Speaker 2>seems like they would be at odds. But he's like, no, no,

0:29:44.360 --> 0:29:47.240
<v Speaker 2>he's good. He's to himself. He's on time. He drives.

0:29:47.360 --> 0:29:49.840
<v Speaker 2>He drives a little slow, but I'd rather slow than

0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:53.480
<v Speaker 2>than you know, somebody where you're getting thrown around when

0:29:53.520 --> 0:29:56.000
<v Speaker 2>you're in the back well. Anyway, the two of them

0:29:56.080 --> 0:29:58.400
<v Speaker 2>leave the hotel and they're driving to the venue, and

0:29:58.400 --> 0:30:02.720
<v Speaker 2>they go on a bridge and just shave the top

0:30:02.760 --> 0:30:07.560
<v Speaker 2>of the bus off that all the AC units, all

0:30:07.600 --> 0:30:12.280
<v Speaker 2>the satellite TV just shave just just a couple hundred

0:30:12.320 --> 0:30:15.360
<v Speaker 2>thousand dollars off the top of the bus. This bus

0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:18.479
<v Speaker 2>is easy. One point five million are over. I forgot

0:30:18.520 --> 0:30:22.280
<v Speaker 2>what band is owns it? What's name? It's a country band, right,

0:30:23.200 --> 0:30:26.880
<v Speaker 2>little big town's bus. That's the bus I rented. But man,

0:30:27.960 --> 0:30:31.000
<v Speaker 2>I could stare up through the AC and look at

0:30:31.040 --> 0:30:36.160
<v Speaker 2>the sky. After their little bridge, it got wedged under

0:30:36.160 --> 0:30:39.120
<v Speaker 2>the bridge. They had to get police to like let

0:30:39.160 --> 0:30:42.800
<v Speaker 2>them back out of the road downtown Chicago.

0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:45.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well I bailed out on foot. I just went

0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:45.920
<v Speaker 1>to sound check.

0:30:46.040 --> 0:30:47.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Pete goes, hey, but I gotta go to a

0:30:47.880 --> 0:30:49.840
<v Speaker 2>sound check. So he just jumped out and then got

0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:53.960
<v Speaker 2>in a petty cab, which is also an I can't

0:30:54.040 --> 0:30:57.360
<v Speaker 2>imagine that that was the right option, but it was hot,

0:30:57.800 --> 0:31:00.920
<v Speaker 2>and Pete wanted to make a man huddle him to

0:31:01.040 --> 0:31:05.840
<v Speaker 2>a venue. What it was an ee bike? Okay, I

0:31:05.840 --> 0:31:07.920
<v Speaker 2>guess for some reason that's a little better. You're fine.

0:31:09.000 --> 0:31:11.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, I couldn't use the bus anymore because there's

0:31:11.880 --> 0:31:15.720
<v Speaker 2>just ninety degrees in there. Oh so hot. But thankfully

0:31:15.920 --> 0:31:19.240
<v Speaker 2>it was the final shows, and the first show went great,

0:31:19.320 --> 0:31:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Chicago crowd, amazing. Second show, second night, a little tight.

0:31:24.080 --> 0:31:25.840
<v Speaker 2>That's how I like to end a tour with a

0:31:25.840 --> 0:31:29.360
<v Speaker 2>show that's just like a little little tight. Hannibal Burris

0:31:29.440 --> 0:31:32.320
<v Speaker 2>came out to that show. That was great to him,

0:31:32.520 --> 0:31:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Chicago legend, just funny as always. As soon as I

0:31:36.120 --> 0:31:38.560
<v Speaker 2>see him, I start laughing. He said he's running and

0:31:39.160 --> 0:31:41.400
<v Speaker 2>owned his own or opened his own comedy club in

0:31:41.400 --> 0:31:46.040
<v Speaker 2>New York. Good for him. I'm never I've never been

0:31:46.080 --> 0:31:51.000
<v Speaker 2>that ambitious in Chicago during the day. Had to come

0:31:51.040 --> 0:31:55.360
<v Speaker 2>up with an activity. So my children's museum. Chicago's got

0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:57.560
<v Speaker 2>one of the greatest children's museum. Let's go over there.

0:31:58.200 --> 0:32:01.200
<v Speaker 2>On the way there, we're all about to have heat

0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:06.640
<v Speaker 2>stroke because we're walking along Lake Michigan. And then thankfully

0:32:06.720 --> 0:32:08.920
<v Speaker 2>they have those not a water found by, like a

0:32:08.960 --> 0:32:12.120
<v Speaker 2>splash pad. Kids could play in the water. You can

0:32:12.160 --> 0:32:14.360
<v Speaker 2>smell that they put some chlorine in it. It's spraying

0:32:14.360 --> 0:32:17.600
<v Speaker 2>every My kids are loving it, you know, they're they're

0:32:17.640 --> 0:32:19.720
<v Speaker 2>going through it. It's the best part of the tour,

0:32:19.800 --> 0:32:25.120
<v Speaker 2>I would think. And they're soaked. I'm like, take off

0:32:25.120 --> 0:32:26.800
<v Speaker 2>your clothes and just you run around in your underwear

0:32:26.840 --> 0:32:28.720
<v Speaker 2>and I'm trying to dry their clothes out in the sun.

0:32:29.280 --> 0:32:32.040
<v Speaker 2>And then my son comes over to me and he's like, hey, Dad,

0:32:32.080 --> 0:32:34.240
<v Speaker 2>I got I got a poop. And I'm like, okay,

0:32:34.240 --> 0:32:37.240
<v Speaker 2>but we'ren't a bad spot right now because you're in

0:32:37.280 --> 0:32:43.120
<v Speaker 2>your underwear and there's no bathrooms around here our closer,

0:32:43.240 --> 0:32:46.520
<v Speaker 2>your clothes are soaking wet. I'm like, we got to

0:32:46.600 --> 0:32:49.600
<v Speaker 2>just hide and we just I basically just make them

0:32:49.600 --> 0:32:53.400
<v Speaker 2>climb over this park bench and we'll buy this piece

0:32:53.440 --> 0:32:55.680
<v Speaker 2>of machinery and I might just squat down here. And

0:32:55.720 --> 0:32:57.440
<v Speaker 2>he's like, but I can see people. I'm like, they're

0:32:57.480 --> 0:33:00.200
<v Speaker 2>not looking at you. I'm just trying to block for them.

0:33:00.560 --> 0:33:03.400
<v Speaker 2>And he just drops like a fifteen inch or I'm

0:33:03.400 --> 0:33:06.160
<v Speaker 2>my good god. It was terrifying.

0:33:06.600 --> 0:33:07.360
<v Speaker 1>Chicago dog.

0:33:07.640 --> 0:33:11.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I put a pickle next to it. But I'm like, hey,

0:33:11.280 --> 0:33:13.280
<v Speaker 2>what are you gonna do? I had no I had

0:33:13.320 --> 0:33:16.520
<v Speaker 2>no option. I mean, I'm sure I did. But that's

0:33:16.520 --> 0:33:18.600
<v Speaker 2>what he did. He just he just pooped in Chicao.

0:33:18.640 --> 0:33:22.280
<v Speaker 2>That's what you do in Chicago. If you can poop outside,

0:33:22.320 --> 0:33:24.480
<v Speaker 2>you do. It was nice here, you got We got

0:33:24.560 --> 0:33:29.040
<v Speaker 2>right back into the fountain, clean himself up, stood over

0:33:29.120 --> 0:33:32.560
<v Speaker 2>a get. He loved it. He loved that fountain. What

0:33:32.640 --> 0:33:34.920
<v Speaker 2>did I ate in Chicago? You know? I ate deep dish?

0:33:35.880 --> 0:33:38.680
<v Speaker 2>What we have Geno's the East And by the way,

0:33:38.680 --> 0:33:43.080
<v Speaker 2>we had it two nights in a row. Who deep

0:33:43.120 --> 0:33:45.640
<v Speaker 2>dish two nights in a row? And then I had uh.

0:33:46.160 --> 0:33:48.239
<v Speaker 2>They also have a deep dish brownie. You ever heard

0:33:48.280 --> 0:33:51.760
<v Speaker 2>of such a thing. It's a brownie that's no different

0:33:51.800 --> 0:33:56.480
<v Speaker 2>than every other fucking brownie. Whatever they get me, because

0:33:56.480 --> 0:33:58.120
<v Speaker 2>they called it deep dish Brownie. So I was like,

0:33:58.120 --> 0:34:00.560
<v Speaker 2>what I'll find it was? It was a first night.

0:34:00.600 --> 0:34:03.320
<v Speaker 2>It was in the shape of a circle, good enough,

0:34:04.160 --> 0:34:09.080
<v Speaker 2>we all survived, flew home the next day, and uh,

0:34:10.040 --> 0:34:14.640
<v Speaker 2>here we are in the studio. Best tour ever? Absolutely not,

0:34:15.040 --> 0:34:21.239
<v Speaker 2>but it was. It was enjoyable. Favorite favorite show Milwaukee

0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:23.440
<v Speaker 2>for me? What about you? I didn't have one.

0:34:23.520 --> 0:34:24.120
<v Speaker 1>You got tie.

0:34:24.680 --> 0:34:28.040
<v Speaker 2>No, I didn't have one. I didn't have a B

0:34:28.160 --> 0:34:31.360
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have a best show. Maybe I did. I

0:34:31.360 --> 0:34:32.520
<v Speaker 2>don't remember it, though.

0:34:32.680 --> 0:34:34.640
<v Speaker 1>I remember coming off Sudden you really liked the Omaha

0:34:34.760 --> 0:34:36.200
<v Speaker 1>crowd Omaha.

0:34:36.400 --> 0:34:42.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, maybe it was Omaha. I don't know. I'm glad

0:34:42.480 --> 0:34:43.080
<v Speaker 2>it's behind me.

0:34:43.680 --> 0:34:46.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, we just keep going forward. We don't look back.

0:34:47.200 --> 0:34:48.960
<v Speaker 2>Did you have a worst show?

0:34:49.520 --> 0:34:51.960
<v Speaker 1>Worst show? First show, Madison? I felt like it was

0:34:52.040 --> 0:34:54.439
<v Speaker 1>just it was too early I had.

0:34:54.480 --> 0:34:57.319
<v Speaker 2>I had a three way tie for worst show, and

0:34:57.400 --> 0:34:59.759
<v Speaker 2>I'll just I'll just leave it at that. I don't

0:34:59.800 --> 0:35:01.480
<v Speaker 2>want I don't want the people in the cities to

0:35:01.480 --> 0:35:03.560
<v Speaker 2>be I feel like, oh, I was at that show,

0:35:03.560 --> 0:35:05.520
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was good, and I don't want them

0:35:05.560 --> 0:35:13.600
<v Speaker 2>to know that in my heart it was garbage. Well,

0:35:13.719 --> 0:35:16.000
<v Speaker 2>I can't wait to go on our next tour ready

0:35:16.719 --> 0:35:20.400
<v Speaker 2>and hopefully they get that roof fixed on the bus.

0:35:21.000 --> 0:35:21.719
<v Speaker 2>See next week