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Speaker 1: Is stay or go? All right?

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Speaker 2: You got an issue and you think, Man, I'd love

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Speaker 2: to know what the Fred Show thinks about this, and

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Speaker 2: I know that probably comes up regularly. Fred Show Radio

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Speaker 2: on Instagram, Fredshaw Radio on all thesocials, freadshow Radio dot com.

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Speaker 2: And you hit us up, Ethan. Good morning, Ethan. Hello,

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Speaker 2: Oh there he Ethan. You're so distraught?

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Speaker 1: How are you? Ethan? All right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean.

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Speaker 2: As all right as they can be, all right as

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Speaker 2: you can be. So I have your note here, but

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Speaker 2: I want to hear about this. You've been with a

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Speaker 2: woman for a while, it seems like, but you've been

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Speaker 2: having some issues of late, right.

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Speaker 3: Correct, over the past couple of years. It's been rough

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Speaker 3: with my girlfriends, I would say, major issues.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, and so the purpose of the call, Ethan,

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Speaker 2: You know what do you need our advice on? This

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Speaker 2: is a wide array of opinions here. We have a

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Speaker 2: very diverse panel of people. You know, me, I'll probably

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Speaker 2: tell you to break up with her. I don't even

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Speaker 2: know what the scenario is yet, but tell me what's

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Speaker 2: going on.

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, when you're with anybody for a while,

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Speaker 3: you get past all the surface things and you get

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Speaker 3: to really know them, and sometimes stuff gets you know,

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Speaker 3: rough before it gets great. So I guess we were

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Speaker 3: going through that period and we were fighting a lot

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Speaker 3: and not really like prioritizing each other, which can happen.

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Speaker 3: And I guess what it all boiled down to is

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Speaker 3: we both really wanted to be together, but we had

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Speaker 3: a lot to work out, and we couldn't figure out

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Speaker 3: how to break old habits and little like micro things

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Speaker 3: were becoming magnified. So we decided to take a three

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Speaker 3: month break, reset everything, just you know, clear the air,

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Speaker 3: and then get back together.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so you guys take this break and

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Speaker 2: then you do come back together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, after you know, killing out what it

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Speaker 3: would be like to not be together, we were like, okay,

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Speaker 3: so we'll take a break. See what we're missing, see

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Speaker 3: what you know we're taking for granted, and you know,

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Speaker 3: let's see what this new perspective might be.

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Speaker 1: I see where this is going.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, yeah, so you do take a break and

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Speaker 2: then you get back together and.

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Speaker 1: All is well or no, no.

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Speaker 2: Break. That was a very desperate no. So you take

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Speaker 2: the break and then but you get back together. But

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Speaker 2: then what's the issue.

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Speaker 3: Well, when we were on the break. I didn't even

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Speaker 3: think about another woman for a second because I thought

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Speaker 3: the break was about like centering myself, finding my way

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Speaker 3: to make our relationship work, not about finding other people.

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Speaker 1: And so she found someone else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but this is the thing. She claims it's just

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Speaker 3: a one night stand, she's never going to see the

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Speaker 3: guy again, doesn't even have his number saved. And also

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Speaker 3: that we were broken up, which I'm like, okay, very

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Speaker 3: valid things, but also it happened, so I'm like, why

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Speaker 3: would you even entertain that or go there.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, the good news is she wants to

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Speaker 2: get back with you, right, because that's nice she does.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not laughing at you.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing, Ethan, I feel like this is kind

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Speaker 2: of the territory that you enter into when you take

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Speaker 2: a break, and I don't I mean, this is sort

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Speaker 2: of don't mean to be harsh, you know, it's a

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Speaker 2: little tough love here, Ethan, but like, I feel like

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Speaker 2: it's inherently in a break that somebody may go do

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Speaker 2: something else with someone else, and like something else with

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Speaker 2: someone else, and then that's sort of the I mean,

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Speaker 2: you weren't together technically, so while you were focused on

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Speaker 2: getting back together with her. I mean, maybe part of

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Speaker 2: her process was seeing what else was out there to

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Speaker 2: make sure she wants to be with you, right.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I.

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Speaker 2: Know that that's hurtful, and I know that it doesn't

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Speaker 2: feel great and that now you have to forget about that.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, did you expect.

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Speaker 2: Her to not be with you and then just sit

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Speaker 2: there on her couch and you know, wait for I

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Speaker 2: don't know you to call again. I mean, I guess

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Speaker 2: I don't What did you think was going to happen

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Speaker 2: during this time?

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Speaker 3: Well, we only intended to break up for three months,

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Speaker 3: and it was just to me, it was like like

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Speaker 3: a pause.

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Speaker 1: And then we would resume.

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Speaker 2: There was a pause. There was a pause. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: you didn't think she'd get with anybody else. But that

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Speaker 2: wasn't spoken, right, It wasn't This break didn't have conditions, right.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even think to think about that because she's

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Speaker 3: all I can think about, and so I just feel

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Speaker 3: the trade that you know, when that opportunity arose for

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Speaker 3: she was like, yeah, let me take this chance to

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Speaker 3: see that's about.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Yes, she wants to be with me.

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Speaker 3: Yes, the three months is done. Yes, she's like, because

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Speaker 3: I did that.

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Speaker 1: Now I know I want to be with you.

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Speaker 3: But also in my brain, I'm like, why did you

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Speaker 3: want to do that? Why did that happen? So that's

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Speaker 3: that's kind of why I need the advice on.

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Speaker 1: Everything. Well, I want to know what.

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Speaker 2: People have to say about this, about this whole break

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Speaker 2: theory eight five, five, five, nine, one one oh three five,

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Speaker 2: you can call it text the same number. Are you

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Speaker 2: gonna be able to get over this? Because that's the

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Speaker 2: real question. What's happened has happened. She wants to get

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Speaker 2: back together with you, But I think the only way

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Speaker 2: this works is if you can say, fine, that's what

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Speaker 2: happened during the break, no one did anything wrong. We're

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Speaker 2: gonna work on this now, I get back together. But

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Speaker 2: this is not something we're in my opinion, where you know,

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Speaker 2: three months from now, six months of now, a year

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Speaker 2: from now, you can be like, remember that time that

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Speaker 2: you got with somebody else, because technically she wasn't cheating

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Speaker 2: on you, Technically you weren't together, and technically you made

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Speaker 2: that decision together.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and we have so much history, you know, and

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Speaker 3: it's just you know that happened, and I don't I

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Speaker 3: get where you're coming Is it fair game to do

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Speaker 3: while you're separated? I guess so, but it's just something

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Speaker 3: I'm going to keep thinking about and then hoping, Yeah that,

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Speaker 3: like what you said, we were broken up, so it

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Speaker 3: was her game that she wouldn't do it while we're

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Speaker 3: back together.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I get where he's coming from, too, And I know,

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Speaker 2: as I said earlier, like I know, this must hurt.

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Speaker 2: And the idea of the person that you love being

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Speaker 2: with someone else is tricky. And then the fact that

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Speaker 2: you now want to be with this person, maybe get married,

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Speaker 2: you know whatever, And then there's this little, this little

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Speaker 2: blemish you know in the track record as far as

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Speaker 2: you're concerned.

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Speaker 1: But here's the thing.

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Speaker 2: You guys were having issues and you decided together to

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Speaker 2: take this break.

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Speaker 1: This happened.

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Speaker 2: That sucks, But it wasn't like she came to you

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Speaker 2: one day and said, and maybe it doesn't hurt any differently.

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Speaker 2: But if I'm with someone and they come to me

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Speaker 2: after years and go, we should take a break, and

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Speaker 2: then you know they come back to me, that's orchestrated.

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Speaker 2: That's you telling me you want to get with somebody else,

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Speaker 2: and see what it's like, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: like this was a byproduct of it sounds like a

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Speaker 2: by product of a decision that you guys made together.

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Speaker 2: And while she was single, she did test the field

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Speaker 2: a little bit, play the field a little bit, and

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Speaker 2: now she wants to come back to you. But I

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Speaker 2: would be more alarmed if there was really nothing wrong.

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Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden it's like, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 2: we should take a little time off, because that, to

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Speaker 2: me sounds like you were foreshadowing what you want to do.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: To me, that's different that I'm single. I met someone

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Speaker 2: out one night, we hooked up. Technically, I'm not cheating.

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Speaker 2: We're not together. I didn't really care for it or

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Speaker 2: it's not worth pursuing any further, and I really want

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Speaker 2: to be with you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Maybe in some ways it just reinforces that you guys

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Speaker 2: are meant to be together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're saying, it's not like a premeditated thing. It's

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Speaker 3: just kind of She was like, whatever, this might be

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Speaker 3: part of finding ourselves.

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Speaker 2: But the question is can you get over it? That's

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Speaker 2: really the only question at this point. Can you get

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Speaker 2: over it? Can you move on? And forget about it,

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Speaker 2: because if you can, I think you know, you try,

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Speaker 2: and if you're not going to be able to get

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Speaker 2: over it, then I don't you know, then this whole

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Speaker 2: thing's going to be hindered by that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just think of it. I don't get over it.

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Speaker 3: I'm I keel myself right and find someone as great

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Speaker 3: as her.

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Speaker 1: So, baby, I get it.

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Speaker 4: Like if you're taking an open ended break where it's

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Speaker 4: like we don't have an end date and the purpose

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Speaker 4: of the break is like, I don't know if we

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Speaker 4: want to be together, like I do, feel like that's

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Speaker 4: different than going, Okay, we're taking three months. We're going

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Speaker 4: to see what it's like to live separately, and if

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Speaker 4: we find our way back to each other and there's

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Speaker 4: an end date. I understand how he feels like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: this was about something completely different than banging other people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but but he doesn't get to dictate. There were

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Speaker 2: no rules about how she gets to spend her three months.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't It wasn't as though they sat down and

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Speaker 2: said let's take a let's be apart but still be

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Speaker 2: you know, monogamous, or let's keep physical relationships out of this.

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Speaker 2: You broke would you not agree, Ethan, you broke up

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Speaker 2: for three months no conditions.

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Speaker 3: Yes to no conditions, but I mean to me because

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Speaker 3: it was like a three month break. The word break

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Speaker 3: up is a different area.

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Speaker 1: It's a great area for sure. And yes, I didn't have.

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Speaker 3: Brand rules or conditions for I just I thought it

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Speaker 3: would be a time to be like, Wow, we're on

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Speaker 3: top of each other every second, Like what if we

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Speaker 3: had space?

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Speaker 1: What would that look like? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And it sucks constantly, you know, think of each other.

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Speaker 2: And it sucks Ethan that you were committed to sort

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Speaker 2: of like your mind was focused on getting back with her,

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Speaker 2: and it sounds like her mind was focused on actually

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Speaker 2: sort of clearing the air and anything was possible. But

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Speaker 2: the bottom line is here. She is right and she

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Speaker 2: wants to be with you, and that's a good thing,

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Speaker 2: isn't it. I mean, whatever she found out there wasn't

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Speaker 2: better in her opinion, right, Well, let me I'll take

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Speaker 2: some other perspectives on this and we'll see what you

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Speaker 2: think about it. You can have the radio on the

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Speaker 2: iheard app or whatever, but I wish you the best, man.

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Speaker 2: I can hear in your voice you know you're hurting

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Speaker 2: and I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: That you're hurting.

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Speaker 2: And this is why I don't like breaks though, because

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Speaker 2: this is this is a fair game. I don't think

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Speaker 2: she did any wrong, and this is the problem because

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Speaker 2: this may be irreparable now and she didn't technically do

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Speaker 2: anything wrong. But I can also understand why you may

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Speaker 2: never be able to get this out of your head.

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Speaker 2: And if that's the case, if this is always going

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Speaker 2: to linger, then you can't get back together because the

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Speaker 2: only way it's going to work is if you can

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Speaker 2: let go of the past and move forward. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know if you can, but I wish you the best, Ethan.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for calling.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate your time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you got it, man, guys, sod was devastated.

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Speaker 3: He does.

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Speaker 5: I hate all of this. I just if you're going

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Speaker 5: to do a break, just break up. That's just I've

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Speaker 5: always been a believer in that, because like anything can

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Speaker 5: happen those three months, right, I understand, like you're taking

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Speaker 5: a break from this person and you're going to see.

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Speaker 1: If you can live without. I get what this was,

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Speaker 1: but again, there were no rules.

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Speaker 5: She did what she did, and now that's going to

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Speaker 5: linger in your brain for a very long time.

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Speaker 2: Here's another question and again eight five, five, five nine

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Speaker 2: one one of three five, So I get ahold of

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Speaker 2: us called text the same number.

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Speaker 1: Here's another thing. Should she even have told him? No?

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Speaker 2: No, no, I might have not if it was a

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Speaker 2: one off deal that didn't mean anything. Honestly, I don't

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Speaker 2: know that I short of like, I don't know bringing

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Speaker 2: any sort of outside anything into the relationship, like if

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Speaker 2: you you know, maybe get tested or something, so there's

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Speaker 2: no like risk. But I mean what I'm saying is

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Speaker 2: otherwise unless it's like a health thing. I don't know

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Speaker 2: that he needed to know that, because now this might

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Speaker 2: kill the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: You could live with yourself not saying it. I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't do anything wrong, I know, but like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: like what reason I didn't do anything wrong? Eric? How

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Speaker 1: you doing? You say? Go by the way, Hey, hey, hey,

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Speaker 1: y'all doing Hey? Hey, hello, Eric, we are all doing great?

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Speaker 1: What do you do here?

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Speaker 3: Hey?

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Speaker 1: Hey, yew you doing?

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Speaker 2: So?

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Speaker 6: I think he's being a simple about this. I think

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Speaker 6: there's a lot of us man that ran into that

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Speaker 6: situation right there with a woman, and I was telling

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Speaker 6: the woman over the phone, I was letting a note

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Speaker 6: like I think hi Helpner didn't have these issues. He

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Speaker 6: had fifty women in the in the house like that,

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Speaker 6: it'd be the man that's trying to try.

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Speaker 1: King Hugh Hessler is the that you just.

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Speaker 6: Made like his mentality was just completely different like some

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Speaker 6: in the household. And then he's chasing this one woman

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Speaker 6: that been with him for years and didn't want to

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Speaker 6: separate go be with another, like he just too down

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Speaker 6: and like he I don't know, he got to outgrow that.

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Speaker 1: So how many women should he have? How many women

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Speaker 1: do you? I said, if you got a lot of women,

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Speaker 1: then you have to worry about one. I guess. So

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Speaker 1: there's that. But you're right, how many do you have? Eric?

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Speaker 1: How many are you juggling currently? Like your boy?

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Speaker 6: So, So I had a situation like this before, and

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Speaker 6: when I bring up things like this, I'll say, yeah,

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Speaker 6: he I'll tell my girlfriend this and then she the

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Speaker 6: whole face expression changes.

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Speaker 1: When how does that go?

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Speaker 6: Like you don't care what girl is? She didn't know

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Speaker 6: who's talking to who? You got fifty different women in

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Speaker 6: the household, But.

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Speaker 1: How many do you have? You never answered the question.

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Speaker 1: It only got one.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Man, have a good day, Eric, Eric,

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Speaker 2: I appreciate you being somebody exacted that I'm wrong. I mean, period,

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Speaker 2: Fred is absolutely wrong. Love you, but he needs to go.

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Speaker 2: I was the person who got with a guy when

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Speaker 2: he was on a break. Of course I didn't know

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Speaker 2: until I found out I was pregnant. Well, if you're

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Speaker 2: on a break, then it should be to focus on

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Speaker 2: growing and improving. He's hurt and having right to me.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying he does. I said multiple times that

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Speaker 2: I understand that he's heard. I hear that he's heard.

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Speaker 2: I understand why. But there were no rules. You broke up.

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Speaker 1: We were on a break. You broke up. You broke up?

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Speaker 2: Kathy, Yeah, Hi, Kathy?

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Speaker 1: How you doing? You say go.

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Speaker 5: Hi?

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Speaker 1: Kathy? You say go go hi?

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Speaker 5: Yes. Yes.

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Speaker 7: I think if they were going to take a break

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Speaker 7: for three months and they agreed to that, she should

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Speaker 7: have really done what he did and worked on herself

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Speaker 7: and then if she wants someone after, then do that.

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Speaker 7: But that's not what they agreed.

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Speaker 2: She did work on herself while working on somebody else. Look,

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Speaker 2: but there were no rules, like the word. I think

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Speaker 2: if your expectation in a break is that you're not

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Speaker 2: gonna get with somebody else, and you got to say that.

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Speaker 2: I think you have to define the kind of break

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Speaker 2: that we're talking about here, and they didn't. And so

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Speaker 2: I'm sad that he's sad, but like Roe.

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Speaker 5: Actually hate this. I want her to go now now

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Speaker 5: that I think about it, yaues. He wanted his cake too,

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Speaker 5: and he wanted to eat. If somebody texted that, and

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Speaker 5: I agree, think about it. If we're breaking up ray

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Speaker 5: and he's like, but you can't do this, You can't

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Speaker 5: do that, gotta think of me for three months, like

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Speaker 5: excuse me.

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Speaker 1: But you don't want me, you don't want to be

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Speaker 1: with me.

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Speaker 5: I understand.

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Speaker 1: We're figuring out.

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Speaker 2: He wanted to clear the air, he wanted the problems.

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Speaker 2: He wanted to hopefully like hit reset on the relationship.

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Speaker 2: But it's a very risky move. It's a very risky move. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: go ahead.

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Speaker 5: I think that's a break.

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Speaker 7: Was meant to kind of like settle some dust and

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Speaker 7: take some faith. But that didn't seem like she was

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Speaker 7: suddening any dust.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll go out here.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I don't I don't think she did

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Speaker 2: anything wrong. I mean, if this is and thank you

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Speaker 2: Kathy for calling, you have a good day. If this

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Speaker 2: is the demise of the relationship. Find But it was

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Speaker 2: sad because I don't know that she violated any terms

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Speaker 2: of a break.

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Speaker 1: Bryant, how you doing?

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Speaker 8: Good morning, y'all?

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Speaker 1: All right, Brian, are you gonna make it you have

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Speaker 1: no reference or not? I'm scared? No, Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: there go.

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Speaker 8: So I'd say he should stay.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 8: Why reason being because when they broke up initially, if

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Speaker 8: he didn't stipulate you know what this is really gonna be,

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Speaker 8: what the rules and regulation is going to be, that's

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Speaker 8: on him and a break, but that's on him. All

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Speaker 8: this all you can think about with her, and man,

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Speaker 8: that's the fuck that you need to be specific and

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Speaker 8: what's go like. I've been in a relationship for fifteen

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Speaker 8: years and we communication is key. So if he's not

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Speaker 8: gonna be direct and all this other stuff, that's on him.

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Speaker 8: Either that or I'm you know, get his get back.

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Speaker 8: But either it's way you know, no, Man, stay with

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Speaker 8: your girls. You didn't specify you out there her she

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Speaker 8: was a homespooling your thumb, that's.

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Speaker 6: On you, bro.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he had every opportunity to go do the same

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Speaker 2: thing and he didn't. And it's lovely that he was

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Speaker 2: so focused on her that he didn't do that. But

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Speaker 2: I mean, if the roles were reversed, I have a

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Speaker 2: feeling he would want to be forgiven too, and he

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Speaker 2: would want to move forward. He just didn't make that choice.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, all right, My man's had ninety days to go

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Speaker 8: out there and do what he needs to do.

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Speaker 6: He didn't.

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Speaker 1: That's on him, all right, all right, Brian, thank you?

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Speaker 3: He laughing.

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Speaker 2: You're laughing, Brian, you're laughing in this man's face. I'm

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Speaker 2: going through all these texts. I don't know. It seems

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Speaker 2: pretty fifty to fifty here. He needs to go, will

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Speaker 2: never get over I mean, that's what it comes down to.

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Speaker 2: Are you gonna get over.

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Speaker 1: This or not?

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Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like he is, no, so that might

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Speaker 2: that might be the end then, because again, if it's

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Speaker 2: gonna come up every time, if he's going to wallow

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Speaker 2: in this thing forever, then he never should have agreed

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Speaker 2: to a break. They should have I don't know, gone

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Speaker 2: a therapy or done something different where they stayed together

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Speaker 2: and then that you know, the terms of a relationship

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Speaker 2: stayed intact.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 2: He just he expected her to do the same thing

400
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Speaker 2: he did. And now he's bummed she didn't. That's what

401
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Speaker 2: this is really about.

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Speaker 5: There you go, right, yeah, thank you so much