WEBVTT - Paradise Temptations 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell I Suck At Dating with the Ungler and Jared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:11.240 Haven and I Heart Radio podcast. What is going on? 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:14.600 Sucky daters? Welcome to an all new episode of Help 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:19.120 I Suck At Dating, a very very special episode for 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:20.919 you guys this week. I know I said that every week, 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:23.560 but this week I actually mean it because just like 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:28.600 old times, Jared is gone, and since I obviously cannot 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:30.760 handle the show all by myself, we brought him the 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:35.440 Big Guns and Sydney Lutwaco, our favorite guest co host, 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:39.800 is joining us live from I'm assuming Ohio. Yeah, we 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:42.760 are still in Ohio. Were still going strong in Ohio 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:46.040 live from Ohio. So if you guys haven't listened to 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.200 Sydney's last episode, turn this one off. Put that one 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:52.000 on because we checked in with Sydney and she was 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:56.520 telling us all about how her and her boyfriend started 0:00:56.760 --> 0:01:02.080 living together right yes, in quarantine. So Sidney Phillison on 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:04.320 what's going on over there? Because last time we talked 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:06.039 to you, it was like, Hi to the pandemic, Hi 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.840 to Quarantine. You were like, I don't know if I 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:10.560 want to do this, but I'm gonna do it anyways, 0:01:10.600 --> 0:01:12.360 and thanks for going. Well, where are you guys are 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:15.479 right now, Um, we are good. I so I moved 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:18.839 in with him as of August of last year, so 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:21.240 it's been a while that we've lived together, so it's 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:25.319 officially like going smoothly. Um. What's funny is I think 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:28.760 we met officially a year ago in March. Technically we 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.080 didn't meet in person until three months later, but we 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.399 had started talking in March. It's almost been a year 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.440 technically if you can count that. So yeah, it's going well. 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:40.160 We are through like the dating phase. Now we're officially 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.640 living together and going through that dynamic. But it's it's 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:48.840 been fun. I feel very adults and mature in my relationship, 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:52.840 which is nice. It's been a good refresh. Yea. So 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:56.520 March is the one year universary. We started talking talking 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:59.880 at the start of the pandemic, So if you count that, yes, 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.040 But when we met in person I think in May, 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:05.240 so May, I guess would be a year. I put 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.960 it on Instagram in June, so we can count that day. 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:10.560 I put it on Instagram when it was I was 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:12.760 going to ask you, yeah, well do you think you 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:14.799 would have to have multiple celebrations of like the first 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:17.000 day you guys started talking the first day you posted 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:18.680 about it on Instagram, the first day you guys met 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:21.280 in person, the first time you guys kissed, Like, what's 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:24.800 the actual anniverse? I know, I'm always down for a celebration, 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:27.560 but the only day I can specifically remember is the 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:29.840 one from Instagram because I can scroll back through my 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.600 feed and figure it out. So that might be like 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:34.880 our celebration day. But it's funny because some people are like, 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:37.919 I'll wait a long time to show my relationship, especially 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:39.799 if you've been on The Bachelor or some type of 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:42.360 dating show. People like to wait to show off their 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:44.800 relationship just in case because it's kind of hard to 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.120 do with the fan base and just people having opinions 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.239 about your relationship. But I kind of, you know, just 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.320 went with it and embraced it, and I was excited 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:54.920 to share him with the world even though it was 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.840 pretty new and it's been going well. Yeah, there's nothing 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:01.679 worse than people speculate to get about a relationship, especially 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:03.799 when that relationship is on the rocks. But it sounds 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:05.400 like you kind of handled it well. So how are 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:07.600 you guys doing since then? Since last time we talked then? 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:10.400 Because um, like I said, we had talked to you 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.160 guys you were living together in Ohio, which you had 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.519 never lived in Ohio before. I've never been to Aio before, 0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:19.240 that's right. And you guys had just moved in and 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:21.120 if I remember correctly, you got you were like just 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.799 going to go on vacation with his parents or something 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.560 like that. It's like a lake. If I can't am 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.240 I calling that correct correctly, You're you're calling like really 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:30.960 key to deals with a little mixed up. But I'm 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:34.519 very impressed. Actually, Um, yeah, so we've had holidays together. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:38.680 I've spent many. I was just with his family on Easter. Um, 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:41.440 he's met my parents. We did Thanksgiving together. We already 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:44.800 were splitting holidays, which was kind of interesting. Um, but yeah, 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.320 it's been going well. It's funny with relationships. I feel 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:50.200 like you go through like the honeymoon phase and everything's 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.280 like fun and happy, and we definitely have had that. 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.800 I mean it's not saying that's over anything, but once 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:56.720 you move in and things start getting a little more 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.400 serious than you start to learn like each other's ticks 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:03.280 and and you know, how you mesh in a living situation, 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:05.880 which always is super fun because it kind of brings 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:07.440 out like, oh, what do I need to work on? 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.280 What do I want him to work on, and like 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:12.160 how we work together as a couple. So that's been 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.480 a fun dynamic that we've been going through. But it's 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:17.159 all been really good. Well let's talk about that. You 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.000 brought it up. What are some ticks that you've learned 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:21.080 about him or maybe vice versa, what it takes us 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.960 he learned about you? That obviously no deal breakers anything that, 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:27.520 but like what has been like maybe a big hurdle. Yeah, 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:29.520 I think it's a fun time too, because I love 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.960 growth and in general and just getting to know someone 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.279 deeper and then figuring out how you can be better 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.200 for them, how they can be better for you. So yeah, 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:38.159 I feel like ticks. He's learned that I'm not the 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:40.560 most organized person in the world, so we're working through that. 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:43.839 Um yeah, I would say he's actually the clean one, 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:45.640 which I guess is not what you normally think of 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:48.560 with a male female relationship. But he's definitely the clean one. 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:52.919 So I'm working to be more organized. For example, I 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.560 tend to leave stuff around and we have a dog 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:58.200 that we now share together. I mean he had him first, 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:00.640 but now he the dog is like my child. Um, 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:02.480 so I try not to kill her on a regular 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:05.360 basis because she will get into anything. She's an English bulldog. 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:07.960 And just last week I had my backpack on the 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:12.400 floor and she managed to find a random like it 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:14.800 was like a power bar thing in my backpack and 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:16.960 a ziploc bag and within four seconds she was in 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.440 the room. She threw the zip block bag, had eaten 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:21.560 it and was like living her best life and in 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:23.400 four seconds. So I was like, great, I think I 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.040 might have just murdered her dog because all of the 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:29.760 ingredients in it were like very toxic do dogs, very 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.800 bad for dogs. Had a little panic attack, But you know, 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:35.839 she's fine. She's a trooper. I mean before I've had 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:37.520 I've been in the other room and she's licked like 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.479 you know spackle where you put on like a hole 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.040 in the wall. She's looked through that. So yeah, she 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:44.040 gets into some stuff and keeps me on my toes. 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:47.440 But it's making me. It's forcing me to be more organized, 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:49.440 which is probably a good thing where my growth and 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:52.560 further the English bulldog that's like the big big bulldog 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:55.440 right thick. She's a thick girl. She's like seventy pounds. 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.719 She's pretty thick. Um, yeah, so she can handle a lot. 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.360 But sometimes I'm like, did I murder our dog today? 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:04.520 But so far we're doing Okay. What kind of text 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:06.839 does Nick think? What kind of takes do you have 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:10.719 against Nick? I think it's just interesting for me because 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:14.039 I brought everything here, like this is his home, this 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.640 was his like routine, so it's kind of bringing a 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:19.440 new person into that. So it's just him adjusting to 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:23.000 like having someone else in his life, which has been fun. 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.400 Um so just kind of learning like, Okay, I wake 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:27.760 up at this time. He likes to wake up at 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:29.839 this time, and just like figuring that out. And then 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.880 sometimes he likes personal space and I never like personal space, 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:34.279 like to be on top of mind all times. So 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:37.160 it's just like the fun little balance between those things. 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.160 But nothing like negative. I think, like I said earlier, 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:44.080 it's all growth. It's all it makes for everyone to 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:45.720 be better people at the end of the day. As 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:49.960 long as there's like he chooses his mouth open or 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.160 leave the toilet seat up, come on, that's the thing. 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.040 It is. Like I feel like if you think of 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:59.240 like male female, I'm that person. Like I'll leave something 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:03.360 out like I'll not take on the trash like I'm 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:07.200 I'm the male version in this situation, so it's not 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:09.520 doing those things like he'll always put the seat down 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:12.440 and like we'll remember to put toilet paperbacks. I'm like, oh, 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.440 you're making me look bad. Man. Um. Yeah, it sounds 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:18.000 a lot like mine Klin relationship. But you and I 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:20.320 are the same, and then Kaylin and Nick are the 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.120 clean and organized one exactly. So how does Kalyn deal 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:28.800 with that little dynamics? She deals with it very um patiently. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:30.640 I guess I could say, yeah, you have to have 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:34.560 patience with us. Yeah, yeah, with us exactly. But you 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.000 know what we lack in, like cleanliness or order, we 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:38.680 make up for another thing. So I think it kind 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.320 of has. Yeah. I feel like usually the creative types 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.400 tend to be a little bit disorganized, but we are 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:47.840 all here for the greater good. I don't know. Yeah, 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:51.280 I'm all gladly loote myself into the creative types, even 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:52.720 though I don't know if that's necessarily true or not. 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:56.960 So Okay, well, thanks, So do you guys live together now? 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.080 And it's like official, Like it's not just like a 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.160 it's not just like a warrantined thing anymore. Like you 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:04.120 guys are living together right, Yeah, it's not out of 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:07.680 like force anymore because of our situations or of choice now, 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.640 which has been great. Yeah, so you're thriving in Ohio. 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:13.880 I'm trying to I think the thing I'm trying to 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:16.720 work on now that we're like, we're good, Like things 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:18.800 in the relationship are going well, like we're moving along 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:21.080 at a great pace that we both like, I'm trying 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:23.840 to now figure out like my own life here, if 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:26.080 that makes sense. Like I've always been of the camp 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:29.560 of like having a relationship, having that together, but also 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.280 having like my own life and things that I like 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:33.520 to do, and things like having a community around me 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.760 here because this is a new state for me, Like 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.880 I don't have friends here before before, so it's kind 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:42.400 of like making those new friends. I've started teaching here 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.200 and doing things that I would do in like l 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.240 A where I used to live, or New York before, 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:48.760 So just having a similar community of people like I 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:50.800 can go to and like, so I have like my 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:52.920 own things, so I'm not relying on him for everything 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:55.040 I think is important. So that's what I've been working 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:58.800 on lately. It's tricky, especially moving somewhere new, because like 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:01.040 Calin have been in l A for little bit, and 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.559 I've been like similar to Nick being in Ohio. I've 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.200 been in l A for a much longer time. So 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:07.160 I've got like my friends, my interest, my you know, 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.480 all my routines and all those things. Um and yeah, 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:11.040 I can only imagine how tricky has to be to 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:13.040 move somewhere else and like kind of like start life 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:16.280 anew you know, yeah exactly, and like during a pandemic. 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.400 So now things that are now things are opening. So 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:20.719 I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna put myself out there and 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:23.840 make some friends. I think it's important because then I 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:26.360 can feel like fulfilled and good in myself and then 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:28.240 when I come to him, like we're both good instead 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.040 of like me being like I need you for everything, 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:33.040 if that makes sense, right, So, how how has the 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:35.560 friendmaking been going? Has it been easy out there? It's 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:38.079 I mean, I feel like it's harder later in life 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:42.000 to make friends quickly, just because like everyone's kind of 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:44.720 in their own routines or you know, especially in a 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.280 place like Ohio where everyone's kind of grown up together 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.679 and has had some more backgrounds in that way. But 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:51.800 I mean, I get along really well with his sister 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:53.680 in law, so her and I are like besties, and 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:55.760 then from there I'm like branching out. So I think 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.120 the easiest way for me to build relationships is by 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:01.760 doing things people that like the same things as me. 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:05.200 So for me, that's teaching, like doing fitness um and 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:07.000 a lot of people that teach our dancers. So just 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:09.600 people that I have know how similar backgrounds has been 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.320 the best way for me to do that. I feel 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:13.960 like it's way harder for girls. I feel like it's 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:16.640 harder for girls to make friends. Uh as an adult 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:20.079 as well. Do you agree or disagree? I feel like 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.800 it can be hard either way. But yeah, if you 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.000 have like a girl group that's like strong and they've 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:27.559 been together since high school and they're like rite or die, 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:29.640 it's really hard for the new girl to come into that. 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:33.440 But I'm so The reason I say that is because 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.040 in my experience, I like some of my really good 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:39.199 guy friends I've met, you know, twenty five and older 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:40.560 and even in the past like a year or two, 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.000 and I think guys are just so simple. We're like, oh, 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:45.240 you like this guy, dive, I like this guy dive sick. 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:47.400 Let's be best friends and Scott all the time together, 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:49.800 like and girls. I just I don't know. I think 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:51.640 there's like a little bit more of like a like 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.640 an interview process. Yeah, there's definitely a process of like 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:56.920 do we want to let her in? Could we borrow 0:10:56.960 --> 0:10:58.720 close from her? Could we hang out with her and 0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:00.920 have drinks? Could we tell her secret? So like there's 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:03.600 a lot of like a review process that a woman 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:05.480 is going to go through, which I think isn't more intensive, 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:07.800 but I think that lends to a stronger relationship once 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:09.720 you make it through that filter, if that makes sense, 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.800 rather than like the superficial surface level of friendships that 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:15.400 guys have for the like just jumping off buildings and 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:20.080 stuff rather beers. Yeah. So, so now that you and 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.160 Nick are fully moved in together, what's next? Do you think? 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:25.800 I know that now is everyone's like, okay, when you're 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:29.000 getting engaged, when are you doing this? Um? I think 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.559 people always ask that question, and we have been open 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:35.040 with those conversations. Like I don't think I would have 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:38.480 willingly or not willingly or just like openly just jumped 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:41.720 into moving in so quickly and changing my life. And 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:43.880 I mean there was circumstances that led to that, But 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.480 I think because I knew like we were solid and 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:50.280 that we had talked about potentially being serious in the 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.559 future and like engagements and things like that, Like we've 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:55.960 had those discussions. So I think eventually that's definitely going 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.440 to happen. Um, it's just a matter of like when. 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.080 And but as far as like where we're at now, 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:06.520 we're at a good spot. Definitely. Yeah. I feel like 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:08.679 I feel like last time we talked on this podcast too, 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:10.160 you were kind of worth saying the same thing where 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.400 it's like it's kind of expected at this point. Yeah. 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:14.880 I mean I don't know if that's like an age 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.640 thing or it's just like I wanted to go into 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.280 something that I knew could end up being serious. Um, 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:23.040 But we both have been It's been easy to talk 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:25.840 about it, Like sometimes with girls are like wanting to 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:28.600 know that and don't ask or are free to ask. What. 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:30.800 We kind of talked about that from the very beginning, 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:34.280 if that made sense, um, So there was never any like, 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:36.480 oh my god, what what could we get married? I 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.360 mean I spend all of his time, all my time 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:41.160 with his family and like his brother is Mary and 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:43.200 she has this like adorable child that we hang out 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.120 with all time, so we see like the family life 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.000 and like down the road what could be happening, and 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:50.120 it's not scary to either of us. So well, so 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:51.800 you bring up an interesting point that I think would 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:53.520 be good for the listeners to kind of dive in 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:56.800 on a little bit um you said something or all 0:12:56.800 --> 0:13:00.240 along lines of sometimes girls are scared to like ask 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:02.760 those questions, right, So what kind of advice would you 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:06.000 have for someone that maybe is in a similar ish situation, 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:08.680 maybe like a less stable one than you, but like 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.040 someone that wants to ask the question, but it is 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.040 fearful of it, you know, Like what kind of advice? Yeah, 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.000 that person? And I feel like I get this question 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.480 a lot, like when either if it's like someone trying 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:18.679 to figure out if we're not dating other people or 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:20.240 someone trying to figure out if this is going to 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.880 be something serious down the road. I'm just always at 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.280 the camp of just having the conversation because I like 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.560 to know versus just like waiting around and wondering and 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.400 getting deeper into my feelings with someone or getting more 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.600 invested and they're not actually there. I would just rather 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:36.640 know and that's kind of like ripping off the bandit 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:39.079 and having a really hard conversation. But I think like 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:43.840 when you have those conversations directly towards the beginning, the 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:46.480 easier it is for you because you're not going to 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:48.679 be invested. Your feelings won't be as hurt as they 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:51.120 would be like down the road when you find out 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.800 how they're still seeing other people or they're not wanting 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:57.000 to have like marriage and family and all that stuff. 0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:01.280 So I liked how those conversations earlier on UM. But 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.160 that's me. It's kind of like the ultimate form of 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.640 procrastination where you're setting yourself up for failure. It's the 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:10.000 longer you wait to ask the question. Yeah, because if 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:12.800 someone's not in it for the long haul, I don't 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:17.160 think that you can necessarily change that. UM And I 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:20.240 mean they're going to pretty much know that from the jump. 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:21.960 I would feel like, depending on how you get into 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:25.480 the relationship, is it Nick younger than you? He's a 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:28.400 month younger than me, so let's not rub it in. 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.360 I thought for some reason he was like five years 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.640 younger than you, But a month is a month? Is 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:38.240 it would be wild? Yeah? No, I'm an old soul 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:42.200 but not that much, right right, right? So okay, gotcha. 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:46.080 So there's talks of it, but you're no rush, but 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:50.240 hoping for a marriage kids a white picket fence down 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:54.000 the line. Yeah, I mean that's always been in the 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:55.880 back of my mind. But yeah, I think we're in 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:57.640 a good place. I mean, we've known each other for 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:00.720 a year and they're still pretty solid. Um. I think 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.280 if marriage and all that comes into play, it's going 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.160 to be like, I need to talk to my parents 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:08.400 about that, and then he's he's of like the traditional 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.440 route where he would want to ask my parents for 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:13.680 permission and all that stuff, So those types of conversations 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:16.200 would have to happen first. But we're in a good spot. 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.280 I feel like those Midwest born and bred boys too, 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.440 like they kind of they're on more of a traditional 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.800 timeline rather than the coastal boys, the New York California kids. 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:28.960 I'm going to be single until forty yeah, and I 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.200 I mean I've dated those guys and that's fine for them, 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.120 but like it's just something I knew I wanted and 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.440 needed and those were kind of my boundaries and I 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:39.680 led me to this person that was on the same 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.200 page as me. So that's why I like to have 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:43.280 the conversations kind of early, because I know that's what 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.720 I'm looking for. I love like a cool girl and 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:47.760 like someone that can like date around. That's great if 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.080 you can handle that. I just know I can't handle that. 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:53.440 So I was just very clear with that from the beginning. Nice, 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.000 I respect it. Um, All right, let's let's just here's 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:58.440 a little tiny bit because there was this US Weekly 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:01.240 article that I read recently where you share that you 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:04.520 felt the pressure of the entire Asian race filming The Bachelor, 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:06.480 and I was wondering, if you, if you're up for it, 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:09.880 would you mind sharing a little bit more about that. Yeah. Um, 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.360 I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.240 and just naturally as a person. UM, and I'm pretty 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:17.760 aware of my surroundings. So with me and what they 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.320 were talking about with that article, it was just like, oh, 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:24.280 because race has been such a talked about thing this 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:27.360 especially this past season and around the Bachelor franchise, and 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:29.680 I think they've made like huge shrides since I was 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:32.640 on the show with um casting and how they represent 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:37.760 more diverse cast members as far as them showing them. 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.880 And that's a different story but for me personally, on 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:44.200 my season, I was one of two Asian women. I'm 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:48.760 half Asian, I'm path Filipino. Um So there was me 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:51.280 and another girl and she went home the first night, 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.000 and I was like looking around and just not seeing 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:56.600 anyone else really that looked like me. And I was like, oh, interesting, 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.760 um so does that mean I am now this girl 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.280 for this season? Because if you think about it, they cast, 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.240 they cast the season like they know who they're putting 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.960 on the show. So it's like I have now a 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:10.439 role to play. Whether that's true or not, that's just 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:12.800 what I put on myself just knowing that. I mean, 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:14.800 looking around the room, I was like, Okay, well, I'm 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:16.800 now the only girl that's going to represent that. How 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:18.919 do I want to show that? And for me, that 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:22.560 was trying to do the best example of like what 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.159 an Asian American woman is. And for me, that was 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:29.320 just being like myself. And maybe that meant being a 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:33.640 little more reserved with how I represented myself or how 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:36.800 my conversations went on the show. I don't know for sure. 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:38.760 There's a lot of factors that go into that, but 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:40.800 I definitely have that in the back of my mind 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.720 throughout my time on the show. Was that something that 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.200 you ever even considered before you were on either show 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.199 or is it something that you didn't even realize was 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.760 a thing until you were like thrusting the environment. I mean, 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:53.920 I'm always aware of it. Like, for example, I grew 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:55.840 up as a dancer and I would go to auditions, 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:57.560 and if I go to a casting, it's usually for 0:17:57.760 --> 0:17:59.639 their looking for an ethnic woman. I would go to 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:01.760 a casting and there would be a room full of 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.280 Asian women. It was just me and like thirty other 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.760 Asian woman, So like usually you're hired for a role. 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.159 So I'm just kind of used to that life. So 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.200 me going on a show, I know that, like, oh 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:13.720 they needed another Asian girl, so I'm going to be 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:16.720 that role. Um, whether that's a good thing or a 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:19.000 bad thing, I've just always been aware of it, and 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:21.280