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Speaker 1: What is that? What is that? For our listeners? I

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Speaker 1: got a seashell, I got some sea glass. I got

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Speaker 1: some motherfucking sea pottery. I got some crockery from the sea.

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Speaker 2: No one has ever said, and I'm sure, yeah, I've

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Speaker 2: got some motherfucking sea pottery. No one is ever getting

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Speaker 2: gangster the seawattery. Sorry, everybody, I was just chewing a

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Speaker 2: pop tart, a chocolate pop tart. Now, because it's my nickname,

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Speaker 2: welcome to a dulta. This is Jordan Carlos. I'm michelb Tom.

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Speaker 2: He's a motherfucking gangster when it comes to sea glass

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Speaker 2: and pottery. Tell the people where you got it.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna get it from your backyard, yo, from your backyard.

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Speaker 1: My son tucked all this stuff into my jacket. I

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Speaker 1: only noticed it. I was like, why the if I

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Speaker 1: got sea shells by the seashell in my pockets. My

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Speaker 1: son is six years old. Yeah, and he came to

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Speaker 1: your party dresses a banana, a life sized banana. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I like to do a little family theme, couples themed

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Speaker 2: Halloween party.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 2: And also if you ain't in a couple and you

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Speaker 2: single and you have a dog, figure out a theme.

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Speaker 2: You really are who you are. Yeah, And I remember

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Speaker 2: when I was little, I used to like host every

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Speaker 2: Saturday morning a Pound Puppy Cabbage Pash Kid club meeting

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Speaker 2: where I would bake something the night before because I

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Speaker 2: loved baking, and everybody would go around and tell stories

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Speaker 2: of their pound puppy and cabbage patch kid.

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Speaker 1: Oh. I loved pound puppies me too. Pound puppies was cool.

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Speaker 1: I just was hoping it wasn't a kill shelter.

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Speaker 2: But yes, I still force my friends to come over

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Speaker 2: to dress up. And your family wasn't themed, No, but

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Speaker 2: the theme was we tried.

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Speaker 1: The theme was we tried Good Lord. The year before that,

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Speaker 1: we were themed this year. It was just too much

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Speaker 1: going on on that day. Sister girl was coming right

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Speaker 1: from dance class. I was like, listen, you dresses up

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Speaker 1: Ballerina for dance. How about we just have you dresses

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Speaker 1: Missy Copeland And she's like, these are my special clothes. Dat,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna wear my special clothes to this event.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, fine, I tried, Papa tried,

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Speaker 1: and there just was like no time.

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Speaker 2: She's such a young lady. How old does she know?

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Speaker 1: She's ten going on forty nine.

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Speaker 2: Why does she feel like she's thirteen? She feels like a.

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Speaker 1: Teenager because it's the Wednesday Atoms of it all.

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Speaker 2: Like some kids, she dressed up as Wednesday Atams and

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Speaker 2: it was real cute.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's the Wednesday Atoms of it all. Wednesday Atoms

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Speaker 1: has taken over so much real estate in my child's

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Speaker 1: mind and I'm sure other tweens minds as well. The darkness.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the Emo.

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Speaker 1: The Emo. When I was a kid, I loved Chris

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Speaker 1: Ricci still do. Shout out to Christina Ricci. I know

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Speaker 1: you're listening, all right. So basically that kind of hair split.

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Speaker 1: My daughter did that as well, like the split down

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Speaker 1: the middle, and like she just loves the darkness of

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Speaker 1: it all. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it because even now with my four

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Speaker 2: and a half year old twins, everything is so pink, blue, purple,

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Speaker 2: butterflies glitter that by the time you start feeling feelings,

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Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, let's get a little emo, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm here for it.

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Speaker 1: Here's what I forgot. Here's what I forgot. I forgot.

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Speaker 1: You could go on the zon and get costumes in

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Speaker 1: a day or like a couple hours, and so I

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Speaker 1: was like, let's scrounge and make some costumes out here.

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Speaker 1: Let's my guy or the shit out of this. But

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Speaker 1: I should have done that. I should have done that.

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Speaker 1: I it's my bad. I'll do better still next year.

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Speaker 2: My family wore smurfs. Yes, my family were smurfs.

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Speaker 1: You were cute smurfs. I'm assuming heist was Papa Smurf.

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Speaker 2: Everyone is just like, what was he? He was a

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Speaker 2: big ass smurf with red pants on. Of course he

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Speaker 2: was Papa Smurf. He also and I should post pictures.

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Speaker 1: I have them.

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Speaker 2: We could not find a Smurf hats that fit our

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Speaker 2: noggins because the adult wantes like fit our kids, and

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Speaker 2: so Hayes decided to make murf hats because he is

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Speaker 2: quite artistic. Okay, but when I put this hat on,

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Speaker 2: I didn't even realize till I was well into the party.

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Speaker 2: It just look like a big sperm or like my

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Speaker 2: friend was like, no, it's more of like a full condom,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, but I'm where it is. And I

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Speaker 2: put like uggs on because I thought it looked like

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Speaker 2: elf shoes. But then when I looked at myself in

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Speaker 2: a picture, I'm like, is this what I look like?

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Speaker 2: You have to see you pushing yourself. You're like it

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Speaker 2: felt different. That was my wedding, But I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: felt beautiful.

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Speaker 1: You looked great. Can I okay? Should we just post it?

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Speaker 1: We should post it?

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Speaker 2: Yes, give me the highlights.

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Speaker 1: The highlights for me were first of all, just coming

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Speaker 1: straight in and the and the spa red you had

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Speaker 1: because I went straight chicken wings. I was trying to

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Speaker 1: talk to you, but like I couldn't. There were just

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Speaker 1: chicken wings, and so I was like, ain't nobody touched

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Speaker 1: these sucken wings yet? So did the chicken wings? And

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Speaker 1: then my son, being a COVID child, was like, take

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Speaker 1: me to the beach. Let's lose these people. So into

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Speaker 1: the beach we dug a crater. Somebody said, there's a

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Speaker 1: coffee truck. I was able to outfox my son and

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Speaker 1: get the coffee truck. And yeah, it's good.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm just saying. If you have, like

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Speaker 2: just like some money to splurge getting a little coffee

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Speaker 2: truck or a food truck or like some cute little nache,

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Speaker 2: they're so affordable. They're more affordable than you think. Huh,

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Speaker 2: And you really are supporting a small business and like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I live out there. I live in a

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Speaker 2: borough that starts with the word the Bronx. I'm far.

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Speaker 2: You have to take highways, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Like the Highway to Heaven, like the Bronx. We out there.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, here's like some caffeine or not, like

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Speaker 2: a lemonade or whatever it is. And so, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: actually love supporting small businesses because I feel like comedy

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Speaker 2: is sort of a small business as well. It's just

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Speaker 2: like something that you curate and create and just like

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Speaker 2: hope that seven people like. And so I love that.

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Speaker 2: And I also love walking around my backyard and being

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Speaker 2: like coffee Tuck is outside my best ten year old dreams,

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Speaker 2: best breath.

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Speaker 1: What did you get? I'm gonna tell you what I got?

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Speaker 1: What you get out to tell me what you got? Okay?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What do I like? I'm going to give you a shot,

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Speaker 1: just one shot. What do I what's my vibe? What

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Speaker 1: am I? What? You know? Me I do? I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: different like that. I know what it is.

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Speaker 2: I know what it is.

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Speaker 1: It is it you're so close. That's half of it.

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Speaker 2: A dirty chie Yes, I.

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Speaker 3: Got a dirty chie. I'm such a dirty chie. I'm

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Speaker 3: such a dirty goodness it is. I do love a

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Speaker 3: dirty chie. Sometimes I like a filthy chie.

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Speaker 1: What the is a filthy A.

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Speaker 2: Dirty chie is a child. I mean obviously a chai latte,

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Speaker 2: chai tea and some milk and a troth and delicin

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Speaker 2: it's got that umptuous like nut maggy fucking situation going on.

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Speaker 4: And then like a dirty chie is a shot one shot,

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Speaker 4: one shot of espress.

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Speaker 2: Of espresso, so you get a little tea. You don't

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Speaker 2: exactly get like a full on coffee to like rip

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Speaker 2: up your tummy. A filthy chi is two shots.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh god damn.

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Speaker 2: So that's why I was having dance solos in a

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Speaker 2: smurf costume with a sperm hat because I was filthy.

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Speaker 2: Oh my drink is a cappuccino. And I remember our

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Speaker 2: friend Dana Duke, who's like, you know, he's just like

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Speaker 2: a food kind of sola. Yes, And I got a

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Speaker 2: cappuccino after our dinner one time and he raamed me

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Speaker 2: out and he's like, girl, you need an espresso. This

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Speaker 2: milk and froth of shit. It's not what you do. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: Like it's what I do. I like a nice little

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Speaker 2: coffee moment. Yes, that's sort of like dessert for me.

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Speaker 2: Put a little cinnamon on top. I don't need dessert.

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Speaker 2: I'd rather drink my calories. I always say this, you

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Speaker 2: know this about me. And even when I was drinking

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Speaker 2: beer back in the day, I'm like, can I get

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Speaker 2: the beer with the highest alcohol content? Because we don't

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Speaker 2: want to waste our time?

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Speaker 1: Mm mmmm oh give me that. I p a.

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Speaker 2: The last time you guys came to the Halloween party,

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Speaker 2: though you guys were really cute, everybody was in formation.

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Speaker 2: You guys wore the Dalmatians.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we were the Dalmatians. My daughter was. She was,

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, why am I blanking on her name?

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Speaker 1: But san Elvira?

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Speaker 2: Who's who's the lady that?

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Speaker 1: Don't drop it in the chat? Drop it in the chat?

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Speaker 1: Who is it? I'm gonna get this and it's gonna

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna scream at. I'm gonna look in the morning.

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Speaker 2: No, we're not using our brains, we're looking it up

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. No,

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Speaker 1: she was childless, she had she was independent, so she

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Speaker 1: was obviously a villain. Oh Kuela Deville. Coela Deville, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much.

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Speaker 2: Oh but you did it. You used your brain.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, childless independent that Disney world that is formula for

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Speaker 1: like a woman without no kids. Look, don't do it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. We we actually had a guest come

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Speaker 2: to the house who was also Corella Deville. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: she looked fierce.

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Speaker 1: I missed this part, y'all left early. We sure did.

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Speaker 2: I guess your wife is on top of it. She's

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Speaker 2: just like tik TikTok bitches. Yes, we gotta leave the

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Speaker 2: burrow with the word the in front of it.

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Speaker 1: I honestly, let's go. It is a journey. It is

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Speaker 1: a journey, small ut to your place.

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Speaker 5: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: But I do kind of like there comes a time,

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Speaker 1: a point when my six year old son is just

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Speaker 1: like he doesn't get how big the world is, and

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Speaker 1: it's just like when are we there? Yes, when are

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Speaker 1: we there? And I'd be like, soon come, don't worry

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Speaker 1: when you see the dunkin Donuts.

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Speaker 2: Cool up.

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Speaker 1: Back, yes, yes, all the way in the Bronx. It's

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Speaker 1: a beautiful part of the Bronx though.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a beautiful, magical haunt place, which I do appreciate.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of energy here. No, truly, it is

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Speaker 2: given the New Orleans type energy like and Rice.

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Speaker 1: What you mean, saffron Rice? Oh my god, dirty Rice.

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Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying?

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Speaker 2: Oh Lord? Speaking of haunted. Very excited for a guest

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Speaker 2: this episode. She's wonderful.

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Speaker 1: I love your transitions. I know pivot.

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Speaker 2: I'm a mall cop. I have a segway pivot, go go.

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Speaker 2: She's a publisher, she's an activist, she's a witch, she's

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Speaker 2: a performer. It's almost like, what can't she do? All

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Speaker 2: in a beautiful ass nose ring and some good ass

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Speaker 2: textured hair. Okay, yes, yes, do you want to intro

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Speaker 2: her name? Because I feel like I'm talking a lot.

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Speaker 1: You're doing great. I would be remiss to say that

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Speaker 1: she's also a techan Please give it up for in

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Speaker 1: your cubicle and or bike or car wherever you are.

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Speaker 1: Adrian Marie Brand.

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Speaker 2: Jesus Christ. That took so long.

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Speaker 1: I did bitch. Hi Andrew Murray Brown, Hi Yang.

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Speaker 6: I love this hair.

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Speaker 5: This is giving me like Ahska in the hood in

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Speaker 5: a good way.

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Speaker 2: I really like it. Thank you.

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Speaker 4: I mean I always want my love to be a

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Speaker 4: drug dealer.

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Speaker 2: That's good. At math or like, yes, a bank manager

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Speaker 2: that's also like a tone producer, like I'm gonna get

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Speaker 2: the business done but still have fun.

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Speaker 5: Yes, like I'm giving you a widespread of ways of being,

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Speaker 5: you know what I mean. Yeah, it's very animated. It's

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Speaker 5: very like put her in a cartoon.

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Speaker 2: Right now?

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Speaker 5: Do you have an animated self? Is there an animated

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Speaker 5: project for you?

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Speaker 2: No, it's a loss.

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Speaker 6: Someone's missing out right now.

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Speaker 1: Right, it's okay.

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Speaker 5: You guys can just cut me in on the contract

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Speaker 5: when you eventually figure it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, miss Brown? Why are you a walking shark tank

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Speaker 2: episode all the time? Not even two minutes in?

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Speaker 5: I need to do reverse shark tank where it's just

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Speaker 5: like here's a bunch of ideas.

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Speaker 2: World. Yeah, it's not a catfish, it's not a shark.

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Speaker 2: We need another fish.

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Speaker 5: Maybe it's like an octopus tank. Ooh, it's another idea

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Speaker 5: has escaped my brain?

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Speaker 2: Yes, octopus?

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Speaker 1: Wis I like that?

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Speaker 2: Atapsois? I love that you're doing this episode because like,

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Speaker 2: there's so many titles, there's so many jobs, there's so

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Speaker 2: many ways that you heal the world and yourself through entertainment.

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Speaker 5: Right, But Jordan's like and Texas and Texas, baby.

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Speaker 1: And Texas. And by the way, I'm sure listen, you'll

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Speaker 1: be first to point out Adrian Marie Brown, because I'm

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Speaker 1: from Dallas and you are from El Paso.

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Speaker 6: That's right.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna dovetail this into your book Holding Change, Yes,

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Speaker 1: dub it. El Paso is different from the rest of Texas. However,

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Speaker 1: it is Texas, and al Passen's will be first to

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Speaker 1: tell you, yes that they ain't in the part of

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Speaker 1: Texas that you win. We are in the same storm,

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Speaker 1: but we ain't in the same boat.

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Speaker 6: We're not in the same boat. Yeah, and it's Mexico.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 5: I always tell people I'm like, I was born in

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Speaker 5: the part of Mexico that's in Texas called El Paso.

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Speaker 1: You know, yes, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I'm very.

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Speaker 5: Proud as I get older that all the people that

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Speaker 5: everyone loves are coming out of Texas. And it seems

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Speaker 5: like in a way, balancing the horrific politic that's unfolding there,

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Speaker 5: because it's like, Okay, yes, bad politics, but Beyonce, yes,

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Speaker 5: bad politics. But Meg the Stallion, that's bad politics. But

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Speaker 5: a looak a look, yeah, maybe a little Adrian, a

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Speaker 5: little bit of Adriana.

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Speaker 1: Kay you Yes, among other things, I was like.

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Speaker 2: Does sim sim sisters? Just a kidding?

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Speaker 5: There's so many, There's so many. It's a really big place.

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Speaker 5: But so you're from Dallas, I'm from Dallas.

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Speaker 6: You go back?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I go back about the court mandated two to

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Speaker 1: three times a year to see my parents. I love

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Speaker 1: them so much, so, but you know, we kind of

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Speaker 1: hold our breath. I'm in it for the meg and

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Speaker 1: food and to see my parentals at this point. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's that's what it is. Listen, it's home.

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Speaker 6: We go to special places for our.

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Speaker 1: Parents, Yes, we do. And my Dallas remains a little

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Speaker 1: blue dot in a big old cherry pie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: I live in such a blue dot now, so yeah,

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Speaker 6: I feel you.

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Speaker 1: Wait where do you live?

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Speaker 5: So currently I live in Durham, North Carolina, got you,

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Speaker 5: which is one of the blue dots of the whole region.

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Speaker 5: And it's a magical place, like it's so green. It

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Speaker 5: took me like two years of driving around and being like,

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Speaker 5: where's downtown because there's no real downtown, Like it's just

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Speaker 5: green trees everywhere, and to realize, like this is just

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Speaker 5: a different way of doing a city. I came of

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Speaker 5: age in New York City, and so when I think of, oh,

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Speaker 5: you're going to a city, it's always the place for

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Speaker 5: the skyscrapers in the concrete and like, yeah, and here

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Speaker 5: there's a very small area that's got some tall ish buildings,

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Speaker 5: you know. But yeah, I moved down here doing the

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Speaker 5: like reverse migration things. So my parents are all from

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Speaker 5: the Carolinas, and my whole extended families from the Carolinas.

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Speaker 5: But at no point in my life did I ever

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Speaker 5: think I would live in the South. I always was like,

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna live in Paris obviously, yeah, but you know,

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Speaker 5: the bedbugs. I'm just like, it's okay, I'll just stay.

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Speaker 1: Here's a question. Because you you have hot cheekbones like

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Speaker 1: my aunt and we cousins, and you're from the Carolinas.

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Speaker 5: We are I was like going to tell you off camera,

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Speaker 5: but it's like ancestry dot com. We're connected. Yeah, you

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Speaker 5: look a lot like my dad. It's not a game,

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Speaker 5: like you looked like my dad.

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Speaker 1: This is really strange.

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Speaker 2: What is happening?

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Speaker 6: I know.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll send you a picture of my dad and

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Speaker 5: then we can put it all together and be like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: you're my dad.

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Speaker 6: I don't know my cousin.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all things.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know if you can describe. But what

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Speaker 2: was it like growing up by racial in Texas? Did

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Speaker 2: you have to did you have language, like a vocabulary

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Speaker 2: to say this is what it is? When did you

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Speaker 2: realize you were black?

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Speaker 5: Well, it's interesting because my dad was in the military

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Speaker 5: for thirty years. So we were in Alpaso on a

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Speaker 5: military base I was born. We left three months later

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Speaker 5: to Germany, and then we came back when I was

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Speaker 5: about three for like another period of time where both

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Speaker 5: of my sisters were born. My memories of childhood was

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Speaker 5: everybody was mixed because we were on this military base

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Speaker 5: and so it was like everybody was mixed, you know,

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Speaker 5: it's like black and Japanese, black and German black and white.

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Speaker 5: It was all black people had mixed with something and

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Speaker 5: that's what all the kids were. So it wasn't until

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Speaker 5: I was older, when we got stationed in Georgia that

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Speaker 5: I went for the first time to like a non

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Speaker 5: Department of Defense school and there was like black people

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Speaker 5: over here, white people over here.

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Speaker 2: What are you?

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Speaker 6: Are you Latino?

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Speaker 2: Like what is this?

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Speaker 6: What are you giving right now?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,720
Speaker 5: And just being like okay, I need to PhD racism

353
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Speaker 5: right now because I need to understand what's going on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I always say I learned when I was a kid,

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Speaker 5: and then I lost it because I had to learn racism.

357
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,440
Speaker 5: WHOA Like, I had to understand what was going on

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Speaker 5: with racism and it was like literally displaced everything because

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00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,960
Speaker 5: you know, trying to survive. I feel like our kids

360
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,520
Speaker 5: are always trying to figure out, like, how do I

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Speaker 5: survive the social constructs of the world that I'm a

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Speaker 5: part of? Right? How do I find a way through

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Speaker 5: as myself or do I just join and glom onto

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Speaker 5: one group for a little while and then figure it

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Speaker 5: out later.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I love that this is called adulting because to me,

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Speaker 5: so much of adulting is trying to return to our

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Speaker 5: essential child selves right and be like, oh, the constructs

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Speaker 5: are just some other people's ideas of the world.

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Speaker 6: But I mean, yeah, I.

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Speaker 5: Want to tell y'all so our listeners know. I'm wearing

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Speaker 5: my favorite adulting outfit today, which is a big pajama

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Speaker 5: T shirt, draws and socks, because I was like, it's adulting.

375
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Speaker 5: I'm an adult and I work from home and this

376
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Speaker 5: is what I wear for most of my adulting life.

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Speaker 1: I love that guess. That definitely puts it over the top.

378
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,679
Speaker 1: I think we are related, okay, because that sounds like

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Speaker 1: my family. That sounds there's no occasion to dress up. Yeah,

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00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 1: ain't an occasion yet.

381
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:10,360
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 5: We plan our family holidays around like how many pairs

383
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Speaker 5: of sweatpants and pajamas should I bring?

384
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Speaker 6: What movies are we going to watch on the couch.

385
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Speaker 1: We're gonna get to the bottom of this. But you're

386
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 1: absolutely right.

387
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Speaker 2: I'm just curious. I mean, my mom is mixed. Yeah,

388
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Speaker 2: my dad obviously is mixed, but we don't know who what.

389
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Speaker 2: It's just he the light one, you know, everybody else

390
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:35,159
Speaker 2: not like we call him the white sheep. But the

391
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 2: only thing they knew was like half cast mulatto, you

392
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,439
Speaker 2: know what I mean. It's that generation. It's Jamaica, it's England,

393
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,399
Speaker 2: it's you know, proper colonialism, uh huh. And so you know,

394
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,639
Speaker 2: it was like if you can pass pass, oh wow,

395
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,919
Speaker 2: and it's like a choice, and if you don't want to,

396
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 2: then this is what your life will be, right, And

397
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,639
Speaker 2: so you know, she obviously she can pass. She chose

398
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 2: not too, yeah, because why would you deny? But also,

399
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,440
Speaker 2: like that generation, you understand why but also like why.

400
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 5: I always look back and I'm like, I never want

401
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,399
Speaker 5: to cast judgment on what my ancestors had to do

402
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,440
Speaker 5: to survive, Like I don't want to try to put

403
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,959
Speaker 5: them in this time, right, So I'm always like, okay,

404
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 5: like we have to remember, you know, when you're in

405
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 5: a period where people mostly want you to die or

406
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 5: to be a slave, you figure out ways to survive

407
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 5: and you do what you need to do, yes, And

408
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,399
Speaker 5: so I always look back and I'm like, you know,

409
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 5: in my family, as far as I know, I'm the

410
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 5: first generation of mixed kids, but my dad is very

411
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,639
Speaker 5: light skinned. His mom was very light skined, like I

412
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,119
Speaker 5: looked almost exactly like her. And when we did the

413
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 5: ancestry dot Com thing, it was like this random little

414
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 5: nine percent Scandinavian situation happening. So, you know, although we

415
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 5: grew up, there was a little like maybe there's some

416
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 5: indigenous or maybe there's something else, but like the DNA

417
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 5: don't lie, you know, I don't think. I don't know,

418
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 5: actually yeah, but my feeling of myself growing up has

419
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,159
Speaker 5: been really like you know, tuning into this thing and

420
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 5: being like I'm a black person, because in this country,

421
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 5: that's how race has been set up. But I've also

422
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,680
Speaker 5: traveled to places where people will like, look at me,

423
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 5: touch my hair and be like oh oh brounie like

424
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 5: white girl ringo something right, And I think the relativity matters.

425
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 5: I also think as I get older, I keep learning

426
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 5: more and more about privilege, right, Like how privilege shapes

427
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,440
Speaker 5: what you're viewed as and how you're seen. So even

428
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 5: amongst black people, if you're like, oh, your light skin,

429
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 5: you have this kind of hair, you went to college,

430
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:40,120
Speaker 5: you're something different, right, yep, And being able to own

431
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 5: that instead of being like no, no, no, it's all

432
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 5: the same one glom thing. It's like, no, blackness is

433
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 5: a construct that was put on us by white people

434
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 5: to group everything together into one space. And my blackness

435
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,160
Speaker 5: now is something that I hold as a political identity,

436
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 5: is something that I hold with a lot of pride

437
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 5: and with a lot of love. But I don't try

438
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 5: to a mad that my blackness growing up with a

439
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 5: white mother is the same as anyone else's, right, right,

440
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:06,479
Speaker 5: there's a distinction.

441
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 6: And I meet other.

442
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 5: People who are black who grew up with white moms,

443
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 5: you know, and who are mixed race and who've gone

444
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 5: through this journey and what's intriguing to me is how

445
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 5: many different places people land with it. Yes, Like instead

446
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 5: of being like, oh, there's one way to do mixed yes,

447
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 5: it's like, no, there's however many people there are, there's

448
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,679
Speaker 5: so many ways to do it. It also depends on

449
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 5: like who you date, who you build your next family

450
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 5: and your next chosen family with. And for me, that's

451
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 5: mostly been black people, but I do have a few,

452
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 5: like really righteous white folks and other folks in here.

453
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,120
Speaker 5: And you know, it's for me. I'm trying to build

454
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 5: a world that looks like the future I want in

455
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 5: my intimate relationships.

456
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: Right that's because you're into afrofuturism.

457
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 2: If I'm correct, I'm an afrofuturist.

458
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 5: I'm like, I want to see black people in the

459
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,199
Speaker 5: future right now, this week, you know, we're recording this

460
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 5: and it's like the stuff is popping off in Gaza

461
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I want to see Palatinians in the future.

462
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 5: I want to see black people in the future. I

463
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 5: want to see indigenous people from North America in the future,

464
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 5: from South America in the future.

465
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 2: Like I always look at.

466
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 5: Our world and I'm like, who is who is being

467
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 5: most oppressed, and how do we imagine a future in

468
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,919
Speaker 5: which they are safe and abundant?

469
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:34,640
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, right, I just want to know.

470
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 2: How does that affect you? How does that reach you?

471
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 2: You have a white wife, you have mixed children. You

472
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 2: guys are living in Brooklyn and it seems like a

473
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 2: pretty good neighborhood. But you also me travel with your kids. Yeah,

474
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 2: you're the only jord Nunnet. Yeah, okay, how does it

475
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 2: affect me?

476
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 1: Yeah?

477
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 2: Like, how do you teach your kids to navigate the world.

478
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 1: My son definitely presence is white, you know to people,

479
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 1: and so something he is all about is, as he

480
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: likes to say in his little almer Fud voice, is

481
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: that he is black culture. And so what I do

482
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: is present him with the stories of people that like that.

483
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,679
Speaker 1: He could be proud of that, like you know of icons, yeah,

484
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 1: you know of the culture. And then when we go

485
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 1: out into the real world. We always stay close. Yes,

486
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: we always stay close so that that way people get it,

487
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Yes, because eyes are watching.

488
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: So it's like we stay close in an airport. Yeah,

489
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: we stay close, you know, like just like people are like,

490
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 1: oh oh I get it now. And sometimes I walk

491
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: with my son, who presents his white, and my wife

492
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: will walk with my daughter who's brown.

493
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 2: Fascinating.

494
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 1: So people will be like, oh, they got one to eat.

495
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 1: Oh he get this, like the end of a lady

496
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: in the.

497
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 2: I get it.

498
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: They come out like poppies.

499
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 6: That's a great visual.

500
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 2: I mean it is. It's interesting.

501
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 5: Like my sister has three kids who are all lighter

502
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 5: skinned and two of them are blonde, and it has

503
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 5: been really interesting because, you know, growing up for me,

504
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, like it's obvious I read as

505
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 5: black or iriadas as of color. Like people mistake me

506
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 5: for many things they don't. You should get it right.

507
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 5: It's off in Puerto Rican or Dominican. I've gotten Moroccan,

508
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 5: I've gotten other things before.

509
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 2: Same, We're the same. Yeah.

510
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 5: I'm just sort of like, hey, and when I was younger,

511
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 5: I play with that, you know, and just be like

512
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 5: whatever feels safest, like whatever feels like you're gonna like,

513
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 5: let me be here, right. But now watching the kids

514
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 5: come up and watching them navigate it, it's so fascinating

515
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,439
Speaker 5: because it also you know, looking at them, I'm like,

516
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 5: I think the color thing moves in these waves. I

517
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 5: think there's a lot of people who are white, who

518
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 5: have ancestry of color, who don't know about it, or

519
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 5: who do know, and it was intentionally hidden, hers intentionally shifted,

520
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 5: like because seeing how it can shift back and forth

521
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 5: so quickly is actually fascinating to me. And then I

522
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 5: do think that I feel like if the world wasn't

523
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 5: in such conflict in crisis all the time, I would

524
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 5: be doing some interesting things around being mixed, Like I'm

525
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 5: interested in the conversations around which aspects of culture and

526
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 5: identity we want to uplift and we want to carry

527
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 5: forward and we want to hold onto and like, yeah,

528
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 5: just how we navigate that. I love what you said about, like,

529
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 5: here's the history. Here's histories of your peoples that you

530
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 5: can feel good about, that you can feel proud about.

531
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 5: My parents were very much like you know, my mom

532
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 5: was disowned from her family when.

533
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 2: She married my dad.

534
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 5: Wow, you know they eventually took us back because I'm

535
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 5: irresistibly cute, that's right, but you know it took a while, right,

536
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 5: So there's this painful history for them. They're like everything

537
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 5: related to how outsiders view our family is painful. We're

538
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,439
Speaker 5: going to create a little safe haven within our family

539
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 5: and for a while that's really what we did. It

540
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 5: was like they were so much more interested in who

541
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 5: we were than telling us anything about who we were.

542
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 5: And you know, the political education I've gotten as I'm older,

543
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 5: I think there's a way to do a little both.

544
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 5: And I see parents doing that now where they're you know,

545
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 5: it's just what books do you read to your kids?

546
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 6: You know? Who are the icons? What are the posters

547
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 6: on their wall?

548
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,439
Speaker 5: One of my nibblings right now is one of my

549
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 5: goddess sisters is Indian from the continent that Columbus was

550
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 5: looking for, and she's married to a black man and

551
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 5: their little babies coming up, and it's like, okay, who's

552
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 5: on his walls?

553
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 6: Right?

554
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 5: It's like Harriet Tubman belongs to you, you know, and

555
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 5: so does Bandanashiva, and like, you know, these are your guides, right,

556
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 5: And I think there's something really beautiful about that, is

557
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 5: like making these constellations for kids that they can look

558
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 5: up to and move towards.

559
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, on that, Like I do the same thing with

560
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 1: my kids. I'm like, do you realize how lucky you are?

561
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,439
Speaker 1: So their great grandfather fought in the Red Army in

562
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: the Soviet Union, Oh wow? And then my answers have

563
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: been here in America since the early nineteenth century. So

564
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,919
Speaker 1: it's like you need to think about that Mississippi Virginia

565
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: roots coming from, you know, subjugation and slavery, becoming farmers

566
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: and working their way up into society and like being

567
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 1: proud and you know, like that's the intersection of you.

568
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

569
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 1: I try to inform them on both things and just

570
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: be like you are the immigration story. You came here

571
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 1: without choice, that immigration, and then also the Ellis Island

572
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: of it all. So it's a beautiful dovetail in their

573
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: little faces, you know.

574
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really gorgeous.

575
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 1: Oh you guys made me so emotion Oh my gosh,

576
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: good stop.

577
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:47,160
Speaker 2: It's nice to take a moment to recognize all everyone's

578
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 2: done for us to be here. Yeah, it really is.

579
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 2: Because we're always so worried about the future of the

580
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,719
Speaker 2: four oh one k where we're gonna have, where we're

581
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 2: gonna live, how they're gonna be, how they gonna look

582
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 2: Lula lah blah. Yeah, you know, it's so important just

583
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,120
Speaker 2: to take a whole ass moment to be like, damn,

584
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:03,479
Speaker 2: I come from people.

585
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 5: I've been thinking about this a lot because I'm like

586
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 5: we all come from survivors. And I've really been sitting

587
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 5: with in this moment, like what is the trauma of

588
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 5: our histories? What is the trauma that our peoples carry?

589
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 5: And then how are we transmuting that trauma into community,

590
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 5: into connection, into interdependence, into futures we want to be

591
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 5: a part of. And when we have these massive moments

592
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 5: in history, I look and I'm just like I have

593
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 5: to always remind myself like, this too shall pass, and

594
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,159
Speaker 5: eventually that trauma is going to grow and move and

595
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 5: shift into something else, and it's on us, right. So

596
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 5: it's like, if we don't process our trauma, I think

597
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 5: we turn into overlords and I think we become very harmful.

598
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 5: But I think when we do process our trauma, we

599
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 5: actually get to build these really beautiful families. We get

600
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 5: to build these beautiful communities, We get to build these

601
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 5: futures where instead of being at odds with each other's histories,

602
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 5: we're like, oh, we all come from the people who

603
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 5: have survived, Yes, what came before?

604
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 2: Like that's the common yeah, and in the every day

605
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 2: of it all, like take that with you, you know,

606
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 2: Like it is interesting being married to a white European

607
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: guy because he's realizing how fucked the world is, right,

608
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 2: oh wow, and he is just like, how we're gonna

609
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 2: raise kids in this world. I'm like, my ancestors were

610
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 2: ripped from their homes from Africa, they didn't even want

611
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: to leave, and yet still somehow we are thriving. Because yeah,

612
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 2: so no matter what, and I say this, like up there,

613
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,959
Speaker 2: but also like down here in your every day, if

614
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 2: you want to start something, if you want to be

615
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 2: something that you have always wanted to be, if you

616
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 2: have a dream, like fucking do that.

617
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, because I do feel like the patriarchy really

618
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 4: does fucking win.

619
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 2: When you think you don't know or you can't do it,

620
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: yeah you can just try.

621
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 5: I'm always thinking of paying it back to like I

622
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 5: I think often I'll be doing something like, oh, I'm

623
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 5: writing a book. Like I'm like, I'm sitting here freaking

624
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 5: writing a book all day in my pajamas, and I

625
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 5: want to send that energy back to my grandmother, yes, right,

626
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 5: who did not get to tell her story. She was

627
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 5: a domestic worker and she raised seven children, and you

628
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 5: know she was she was spicy. She had a lot

629
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 5: of lovers, she had a lot of baby daddy, She

630
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 5: was doing her. I think she had a great.

631
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 2: You know, I love a good hub. Oh my goodness said,

632
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 2: oh your sexuality if you can't own property.

633
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 5: She was a good, spicy grandma, you know, yes, But

634
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 5: I also know that, you know, I imagine that she

635
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 5: was tired and that she didn't have a lot of

636
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 5: time alone or a lot of like time to sit

637
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 5: in the bath, or a lot of you know, ideas

638
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 5: that people were going to listen to her story. And

639
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 5: so I send that energy back along the line because

640
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 5: I'm like, something that you did made it possible for

641
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 5: me to do this, and something that I'm doing now

642
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 5: hopefully makes it possible for someone else to create or

643
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 5: to you know, be a part of shaping the future.

644
00:30:58,680 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: Amazing.

645
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 2: I named my character her in a thing that I

646
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 2: did that I cannot mention.

647
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: We went through this the last time you wrote it,

648
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: so you can speak about it.

649
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 2: Okay, I wrote it. Her name is Mavis, I will say.

650
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 5: So, is that the guideline? Is that the guideline? It's like,

651
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 5: as the writer you can talk.

652
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: About yes, but as the ad she wrote something and.

653
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 5: Who knows what happened after them?

654
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:21,719
Speaker 1: Right?

655
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 2: So I feel like that is such a beautiful name,

656
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 2: and she's she it was my person. And also that

657
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 2: was your grandma Mayvis. That was my grandma. Oh I

658
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 2: missed that in the giggles.

659
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

660
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 2: So what I'm saying is like, yeah, I will honor her.

661
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 2: I love that. Mine was Eloise. Yes, her middle name

662
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 2: was Louise.

663
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 6: See, these are the names I'm like.

664
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 5: This generation has some names their names with like mystery

665
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 5: and smoky energy.

666
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: Yes, wait a minute, Adrian, my great aunt Elouise. I'm

667
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: just kidding. Right, we're going to figure out we're laughing.

668
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 1: But can I tell you something please?

669
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 2: Do y'all know the incredible black American writer in Monnie Perry.

670
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: Monni Perry?

671
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 5: What does she write in Monti Perry? So if you

672
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 5: don't know about her, you need to know about her.

673
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 5: Actually google her because she's written so much. She's written

674
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 5: so many texts, and she has one. Let me pull

675
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 5: it up. Hold on, I'm gonna pull it up.

676
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: Pull it up.

677
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 5: So this last one she did South to America, a

678
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 5: journey below the Mason Dixon to understand the soul of

679
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 5: a nation. She wrote a book called Breathe, A Letter

680
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 5: to my Sons. But she's one of our great writers,

681
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 5: like she's one of our great thinkers, beers everything. And

682
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 5: she and I had been at like several conferences together

683
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 5: and all these things, and I was like, I'm like,

684
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 5: you're so brilliant. Come to find out we're third cousins.

685
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: There you go.

686
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 5: She reached out to me and she was like, I

687
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 5: found us in the thing and you're my cousin and

688
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 5: we've tracked the family trees.

689
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 6: It's so beautiful.

690
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're doing what are you supposed to do? Yes?

691
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 2: Do you know the actress Tessa Thompson. Yeah, I found

692
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 2: out we are cousins by marriage.

693
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 6: What that's a good cousin. I have to look so fine.

694
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 2: That's so good.

695
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 4: I know.

696
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 2: Right, there's a whole gaggle of light skinned Haitians that

697
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 2: are artists.

698
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,719
Speaker 6: The light skinned Haitian artists.

699
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all are my people. Where have you been?

700
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 5: And when you think about like the size of Haiti,

701
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 5: you know the Oh that's another beautiful freedom struggle to

702
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 5: have in your past.

703
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 1: Have you heard of Tony Morrison? Yeah, that is actually

704
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: my cousin. And that is the end of our show.

705
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 6: Oh our cousin is Tony Morrison.

706
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: That's what's up? Yes, go off hop off.

707
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 6: Wait, that's a really good cousin to.

708
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 2: No, wait a minute, Tony Morrison. That sellsot suit ton

709
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 2: First of all, this is fun, but we got to

710
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 2: get to questions. Let's get to questions. So our audience

711
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 2: writes in every week and they ask us questions about

712
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 2: adulting and it's not like we're experts, but here the

713
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:57,239
Speaker 2: funk we are. Okay, we're experts having feelings lol, So

714
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 2: let's try to answer them.

715
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 1: This one's Taylor made. Are you Adrian? This is okay?

716
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 5: Great?

717
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 6: I'm ready?

718
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: Is it okay? Oh wow? I don't even know how

719
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 2: to Okay. First question, I'm ready for my first orgy?

720
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 2: How do I find one? Where do I start burning?

721
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: Man?

722
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 2: I mean, Adrian? What say you?

723
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 1: Well?

724
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 5: First of all, I just want to say this is

725
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 5: so sweet OMG, Like, yeah, it's a sweet feeling to

726
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 5: have inside yourself when you're like I know that I

727
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 5: want to have sex with like tons of people at

728
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 5: the same time.

729
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really unique.

730
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 5: So the thing I would recommend is there's an app

731
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 5: called field fee l D that is designed for people

732
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 5: who are interested in like non monogamous connections, you know,

733
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 5: poly connections, threesomes, foursomes. You know, you can kind of

734
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 5: put on there. It's very much designed around like what

735
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 5: is the sexual pleasure that you want to experience? How

736
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 5: can you connect with the other people in your community

737
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 5: to find that? And it's amazing, Like you know, there's

738
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 5: like basically two kinds of people going on the dating apps,

739
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 5: right There's one who's like, I'm looking for my love,

740
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 5: my great love, and the other one who's like, I'm

741
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 5: looking for my great fuck, Like I really want to

742
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 5: have some good sex, right right, yeah, yeah, I feel

743
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 5: like it's very hard for them to talk to each other.

744
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 5: They're in the dms, like, you know, how many kids

745
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 5: do you want? Do you like condoms? It's just like

746
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 5: they're not it's not jelling. It's hard to figure out

747
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 5: out field. To me, it's like this one is for

748
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 5: the sex, and if the sex, you know, leads you

749
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 5: to a good connection, yay. But we're really primarily focused

750
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 5: on what kind of sex do you want to be having?

751
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 5: So I would go on there, make a profile in

752
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 5: your profile, you can put the you're interested in group sex,

753
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 5: they're interested in polyamers connections that you're interested in possibly

754
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 5: being a third or fourth because I would say, it

755
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 5: helps to start with like, go up the numbers if

756
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 5: you can, right, So it helps to start and be

757
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 5: like maybe I want to date a couple, then move

758
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 5: from there into a four summer you know, sort of

759
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 5: add up. But I think sometimes jumping straight from I've

760
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 5: only ever had sex with like myself or one other

761
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 5: person to like a whole orgy can be kind of intense. Yeah,

762
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 5: but it's on there. You can find people on there

763
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 5: who are interested. So that's one of the places I

764
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 5: would point you too.

765
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: Field does not promote our show, but we are blasting

766
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 1: you outfield, all right. Yeah.

767
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: I would also say for an orgy, out of whatever

768
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 2: group you will be in, it's okay if you connect

769
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 2: with one person the most.

770
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, do you know what I mean? That's often

771
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 6: what happens.

772
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 5: Or if you go with somebody that you're like, I

773
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 5: like this person and maybe we want to be around

774
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 5: other people. There's sex parties, yeah, that part, yeah, But

775
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 5: I think that a lot of times sex parties you

776
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 5: have to kind of no word of mouth. I do

777
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,320
Speaker 5: think that if you're in an area and you say,

778
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 5: let me follow some of the people who do sex

779
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 5: education sex entertainment, you can find announcements for stuff that

780
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 5: will connect you to the community. You know.

781
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a.

782
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 5: Big fan of really tuning into like the kink community

783
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 5: and sort of figuring out like who's creating.

784
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 6: Because what you want to look for.

785
00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,439
Speaker 5: Are safe spaces where they're having good conversations ahead time,

786
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 5: where they're talking about what the safety protocols are going

787
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 5: to be, where there's clear language that everyone understands around

788
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 5: what's a no, what's a safe word, what's yeah, what

789
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 5: are the guidelines? So be safe out there, and you know,

790
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 5: have an orgasmic yea.

791
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 2: And also one last little tidbit, yeah, just be careful

792
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 2: who you tell, because that's also a safe space. That's true.

793
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 2: People are so quick to cast judgment and not understand

794
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 2: what it's like to like sex. That's so true. What

795
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 2: do you got on this, Jordan? Nothing, got some orgy wisdoms?

796
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: Nothing. I think he doesn't like to talk about sex.

797
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 1: He doesn't even say sex.

798
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 2: He's just celebrating our.

799
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,760
Speaker 1: Bodies, talking about hardcore banging.

800
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 5: But you can't even say it's so cute, oh god,

801
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 5: oh god, oh god.

802
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 2: Dad.

803
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 5: I'm actually appreciative because he looks so much like my

804
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 5: dad that I'm like it's okay if you don't want

805
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:50,959
Speaker 5: to talk about sex.

806
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 1: It's okay if you don't want to talk about that's familiar.

807
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,720
Speaker 2: You know, he's really you know, he's really uncomfortable because

808
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 2: he turns into like, you know, Obama impression.

809
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't mind, I don't mind. I don't

810
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 1: mind talking about a bit of bedroom stuff. You know,

811
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 1: when I was in college, there were naked parties, and

812
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: naked parties were actually pretty great too.

813
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:10,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

814
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 1: It wasn't about like you know, it was about feeling

815
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,320
Speaker 1: free in your body, yes, which was like really cool.

816
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,760
Speaker 5: And depending on where you are, people are doing stuff

817
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 5: like that. Like my friend does a podcast called The

818
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 5: French Show, and they were talking to folks who were

819
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 5: hosting like a naked dinner and stuff like that.

820
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 1: In La, that's crazy.

821
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 5: La is like doing like naked vegan gatherings and stuff be.

822
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 2: Naked but also have a food allergy. It's confusing. But

823
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 2: also in Holland, the spas are co ed naked, so

824
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: like there is this appreciation of your body that it

825
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 2: is just your instrument, your tool to like carry you

826
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 2: through the world, and it isn't always sexualized, yes, which

827
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 2: I love but also there is this thing about Holland

828
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 2: where I'm just like, but I am sexy, Okay.

829
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I do want to be no noticed and seen

830
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 5: in that way. Well, and I think there's something, you know,

831
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 5: I feel like what I've seen people try sometimes is

832
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 5: to turn a party, a regular party into an orgy,

833
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 5: and I think that can be Sometimes it can work,

834
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 5: but a lot of times that can go off the

835
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 5: rails because there hasn't been a lot of thought put

836
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 5: into it ahead of time. So I really say, like,

837
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,720
Speaker 5: go towards the places where people are intentionally thinking about

838
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 5: creating safe places. And a lot of times these days

839
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 5: they might not say orgy, they might say sex party,

840
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 5: they might say some you know, call it something else.

841
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 5: And yeah, you can get this, you can definitely get this.

842
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm excited.

843
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 1: I'd be remiss if I didn't point out one thing,

844
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 1: which is, like you've also tied in your writing and

845
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 1: in your work pleasure to how important that is to

846
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 1: like change, yes and progress, Like to say yes to

847
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: pleasure and to say yes to change are like one

848
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,840
Speaker 1: and the same. I really appreciated that point that you

849
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: made about that. I was like, yeah, getting freaky and

850
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: making change. I love that.

851
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 5: Well, pleasure activism too, you know, guy into what we

852
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 5: were talking about with our grandmothers as well. It's like,

853
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 5: this is something that we are reclaiming for ourselves after

854
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 5: a long period of oppression. And to me, it's one

855
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 5: of those signs. It's like, if you think you can

856
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 5: go get an orgy, that's good news. That means you

857
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 5: have recovered from us, right, recovered from a world that

858
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,359
Speaker 5: told you don't get what you deserve or you can't

859
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 5: have abundance because a lot of times that's what the

860
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 5: threesome foursome orgy life is about. Is really like I

861
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 5: want I want it all, you know, I want to

862
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 5: have an abundant experience of pleasure.

863
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Okay, which brings us to our

864
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: next question. I love this. It's a town over from

865
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: what we were just talking about.

866
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 2: Okay, great, let's go all right.

867
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: Question number two. My parents are old school Republicans. I

868
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: am forty years old. How do I tell them that

869
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 1: I don't want to be Republican anymore?

870
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 5: Oh?

871
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,280
Speaker 6: Honey, gosh.

872
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 5: Well, first of all, I'm like, I want to send

873
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:57,240
Speaker 5: you a lot of love because being forty years along

874
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 5: in this journey and feeling at one with your parents

875
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 5: in this way, I'm sure has been very hard, very

876
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,879
Speaker 5: lots of awkward family times, very much trying to figure

877
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 5: out who you are. And you know, the thing that

878
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 5: I'm a big lover of, like honesty as the policy.

879
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 5: So I do think sometimes you have to tell people

880
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,759
Speaker 5: something with the willingness to like let them go at

881
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 5: least for a while if need be. So I say this, like,

882
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 5: my grandparents were homophobic, transphobic people, and I came out

883
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 5: to them. It's actually I did an acid trip and

884
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 5: I decided to write them a letter coming out to them,

885
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 5: and I mailed it before I came down. So I'm

886
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 5: not sure what exactly it said, but I know that

887
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 5: it was I like to have sex with more than

888
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 5: one gender was in there, and I told them, and

889
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 5: wisdom not wisdom, who knows. But what happened was I

890
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,399
Speaker 5: told them, They sent me some scripture. We didn't talk

891
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 5: for a couple of years, and then they reached out

892
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 5: to me and I was able to have some really good,

893
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 5: different kinds of conversations with them. And what I learned

894
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 5: is even though we went through the hump where I

895
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 5: was like I might lose them, forever by me telling

896
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 5: them here, I'm different from the worldview that you have

897
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 5: and I exist by me just saying that. Then I

898
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 5: go handle my business and they're the ones who actually

899
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,800
Speaker 5: have to grow to hold that space.

900
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 2: Right.

901
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 5: So my recommendation for you and you can do it

902
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 5: in person, but it's also totally fine to do a

903
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 5: brave letter right, to be like, I want to write

904
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 5: this to you because I want to have it as

905
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 5: clear as it can be. Maybe you read the letter

906
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 5: to them, or you do it on zoom. There's so

907
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 5: many ways. But I think if you just say I

908
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 5: haven't wanted to disappoint you, and I don't want to

909
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,320
Speaker 5: be disconnected from you, but my political beliefs are different

910
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 5: from yours and I'm living into them, and we can

911
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 5: talk about it. I think that's one of the biggest

912
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 5: things right now, is the way that so much oppression

913
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 5: and so much harm happens in our countries that people

914
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 5: are just quiet. They're just like, well, we can't have

915
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 5: the hard conversations. Instead of saying we can talk about it.

916
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 5: You know, one of my favorite things to do is

917
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 5: to say, here's a text or here's an article or

918
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 5: podcast that really changed my point of view on this.

919
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,320
Speaker 5: Listen to it, see what you take from it. We

920
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 5: can talk about it. We can also not talk about it.

921
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,839
Speaker 5: If you want to try to change my mind, that's

922
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 5: probably not going to happen. But I wanted you to

923
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 5: know because I love you and I want you to

924
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 5: know me.

925
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 1: I love that.

926
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 2: It's perfect.

927
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 5: It's not being like I hate y'all. I did that

928
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 5: where I was like, Dad, you're in the military, you're

929
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 5: you know. I came back with a lot of rage.

930
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:24,320
Speaker 2: I've learned.

931
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's really like, I just want you to know me.

932
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 6: I know you, I love you.

933
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 5: I want to be connected, but you know, I don't

934
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 5: believe in especially right now. To be a Republican in

935
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 5: this moment is really to be on the Willy Wonka elevator.

936
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 5: There's not You're not rounding in an actual politic or perspective.

937
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 5: So yeah, you know, you have to really be like, look,

938
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 5: I love y'all, but like something is really out of

939
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 5: alignment with like the future of humanity, and I'm trying

940
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:50,760
Speaker 5: to walk a different path.

941
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,400
Speaker 1: They might need you right now because in your writing

942
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: you always talk about consensus and building rapport, yes, and

943
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:03,760
Speaker 1: to use or act democratically in our everyday life. Yes,

944
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: and to say like, no, wonder the merry go round

945
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 1: breaks down in politics because we do not practice democracy

946
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 1: in our every day So you see quick sidetrack the speakership,

947
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:20,240
Speaker 1: the question mark on that paralyzed the entire governmental apparatus.

948
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 1: Very dysfunctional, very dysfunctional. So the use of tyrannical power, bullying, pressure,

949
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 1: and things like that, which is not what democracy is about,

950
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 1: it has hobbled the system. Yeah, if people could be

951
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 1: like as you are, always talking about mushrooms and or dandelions,

952
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: then you'd be better off.

953
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 5: Look at you doing the homework, Jordan, I'm impressed. Stop,

954
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 5: it feels like familial love.

955
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 2: He puts his glasses back on.

956
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 5: Because I do this, I just feel so well read,

957
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 5: like this is such a good, lovely experience. I mean,

958
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 5: I do think that I identify mostly as a post

959
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 5: nash List And part of the reason I identify as

960
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 5: a post nationalist is because I think that we create

961
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 5: these nation state systems that become obsolete, become so bureaucratic

962
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 5: that they are no longer in touch with the decisions

963
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 5: we actually need to be able to make in real time,

964
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 5: and then it keeps us from practicing democracy because we're like, well,

965
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,839
Speaker 5: someone's doing it over there, and once every four years,

966
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 5: I can just show up and be like, now you

967
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 5: do it.

968
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 2: For now, you do it.

969
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 5: Now you do it, instead of being like, I should

970
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 5: know what's happening in my local community. I should be

971
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 5: a part of helping decide what kind of justice we practice.

972
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 5: I should help think about how we distribute our resources

973
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 5: all those things. Right in my ideal future, communities are smaller,

974
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 5: widely interconnected, but much smaller, and are in relationship to

975
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 5: all these decisions. Right in the meantime, we're in this

976
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 5: circumstance where everything is really skewed so far right. I

977
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 5: think in the US we can't even tell how far

978
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 5: right we have drifted. And the ways that you can

979
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 5: tell are actually in these global moments when something is

980
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 5: unfolding on the global stage and most of the globe

981
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 5: is like, hey, don't do that, and then we are

982
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:07,439
Speaker 5: the ones who are like, we're going to do it.

983
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 5: You know, we're going to do the most violent thing,

984
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 5: and we're going to do the hardest thing, or we're

985
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 5: going to do the most you know, off the rocker thing.

986
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 5: That's when you can tell that your country is out

987
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,359
Speaker 5: of alignment with like a global future, and we're out

988
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 5: of alignment right now. When it comes to climate, we're

989
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 5: out of alignment. When it comes to war, militarization, spending,

990
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 5: we're out of alignment on so many things. So I

991
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 5: want to affirm this person who has written in that

992
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 5: you are putting yourself in alignment with the right side

993
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 5: of history by stepping away from that delusion land. But

994
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 5: you don't have to get their approval for it, right

995
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 5: you just want to say I love you and I

996
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 5: want to be connected. I am connected and love so

997
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 5: many people who have different politics than me, because in

998
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 5: my vision of the future, they are alive and well

999
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 5: and they are taken care of like my politic includes them.

1000
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 5: Amnis to me, that's the way.

1001
00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 1: Wow, only my cousin could bring down Overton's window like that.

1002
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: Only my cousin.

1003
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 2: Okay, So we ask all our guests, yes, what is

1004
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 2: the most adult thing you want to do for yourself

1005
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 2: that you haven't had a chance to do? And it

1006
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 2: could be any big, old, small old thing this year?

1007
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 2: What haven't you done for yourself that you really want

1008
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 2: to do for yourself?

1009
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 5: I might get emotional talking about this, but I am

1010
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 5: in this really beautiful, big moment right now of changing

1011
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 5: my relationship to disordered eating. I was raised in that

1012
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 5: eighties culture of like diet aerobics, diet aerobics, like you

1013
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 5: have to be skinny and you have to eat cottage

1014
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 5: cheese and you have to always be on a diet.

1015
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 5: And so I developed disordered eating like I think many

1016
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 5: many people have. And I've developed this incredible life. So

1017
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 5: like everything else in my life, my lovers, my work,

1018
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 5: my family, my friends, everything else in my life is

1019
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 5: high functioning. I'm a virgo. My life is incredible. But

1020
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 5: there's this area of shadow which has been the relationship

1021
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 5: that I have to Food often makes me feel out

1022
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 5: of control, unsafe, self harming, confused, Like I literally will

1023
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 5: have moments where I'm like, is this bad or is

1024
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 5: this good? I can't even tell, like if this is

1025
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 5: a good or bad thing. And so this year I've

1026
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 5: been working with a therapist on just turning and looking

1027
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 5: at my relationship, tracing back the roots of it, and

1028
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 5: then beginning to develop the mindfulness to tell, oh my gosh,

1029
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 5: that's enough, Oh my god, I'm satisfied, Oh my god,

1030
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 5: that feels good all the way through my body like

1031
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 5: that feels good before, during, and after, and yeah, I

1032
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 5: feel like it's transforming everything in my life again.

1033
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: Wow, okay, because I'm.

1034
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:48,320
Speaker 5: Like, oh, my body is an important part of my life.

1035
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 5: You know, even though I talk about pleasure activism, I've

1036
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 5: done this somatic work. There's a way that I couldn't

1037
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 5: feel inside my gut. Yeah, or I wouldn't trust what

1038
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,399
Speaker 5: was happening in there. And it's been so loud. It's

1039
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 5: been like, girl, we lectos and we don't like that

1040
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 5: glue ten girl. But I've been like, oh, yes you do.

1041
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 5: I'm going to keep stuffing it in there and dealing

1042
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 5: with inflammation. So yeah, it's really beautiful. That's my adulting

1043
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 5: that I want to do this year. Listen to my guy.

1044
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 2: Oh that's mean. Applause around the applause around it. Thank

1045
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 2: you so much for doing this, being here and being you.

1046
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:26,760
Speaker 2: I love y'all.

1047
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,359
Speaker 5: I've been listening to y'all and it's just like such

1048
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 5: a lovely vibe to just dip into the zone with

1049
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 5: y'all and laugh. You know, no matter what's happening on

1050
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 5: a given day, I know that if I put y'all on,

1051
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 5: I will laugh and like that's so precious right now.

1052
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,400
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.

1053
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 1: I'm taking those flowers. I'm watering those. Thank you so much.

1054
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:49,360
Speaker 2: The ends, that's great.

1055
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 5: I learned from Oprah how to put flowers into a vase.

1056
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 5: She did a show once on it and like.

1057
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you gotta do it on the edge, cut

1058
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 2: it on the edge, on the on the bias.

1059
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 5: I want to be the Oprah of like evolutionary movements.

1060
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 5: So I got to figure out more flowers done.

1061
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 1: Okay, you get a flower, You get a flower. I

1062
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 1: love it.

1063
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 5: You get a flower, You get a flower, you get

1064
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 5: some justice, you get some yeah.

1065
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, amazing.

1066
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:15,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, this was great.

1067
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,479
Speaker 1: You hang up first, This is you hang up.

1068
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 2: By.

1069
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: She's a fascinating mind. So you knew her, oh, I

1070
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: mean I didn't really. It was just like you of her.

1071
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 1: I basically was like, I'm gonna do a deep dive.

1072
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: Like I saw her name and I was like I

1073
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 1: don't know this person. So I was just like, let

1074
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 1: me just go do a deep dive on it. And

1075
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 1: I was like, this is great. I read part of

1076
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 1: her first book, Emergence Strategy, and was like uh huh.

1077
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 1: And then I I'm a very like I'm definitely like

1078
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 1: more of a visual person. So I watched a couple

1079
00:50:55,960 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 1: of youtubes and interviews and I was really into what

1080
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 1: she had to say about, like the metaphor of mushrooms,

1081
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: how mushrooms detoxify not only the body but the ground,

1082
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 1: and how dandelions are not just a weed because we

1083
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: categorize them as such, but they are survivors, and that

1084
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: they carry the entire survival of the species in a

1085
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 1: single seed, because a single seed of dandylion, as she said,

1086
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 1: can by itself populate an entire field of dandelions. So

1087
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,520
Speaker 1: I was like, that is fucking amazing and a wonderful

1088
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 1: metaphor for what she's talking about post nationalism or survival

1089
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: of not only the thickest but also just you know,

1090
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: of the peoples. You know what I'm saying. I'm on one.

1091
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm in a pocket right now, Come on, you.

1092
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:50,320
Speaker 2: Are, You're in several pockets. Kendrick Samson, who we should

1093
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 2: definitely have on the podcast Yes, who's on Insecure, also

1094
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 2: from Texas. Yes, introduced me via Instagram to Adrian.

1095
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,280
Speaker 1: There you go. I love it.

1096
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 2: It is used to meet people that you like that

1097
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 2: you because you really feel like I know everybody who

1098
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna know, you know what I mean? Like it

1099
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 2: there's no people are like you should know someone. I'm like,

1100
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 2: I don't need to, yeah, but it's so nice to

1101
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 2: be like you should meet this person. And then I

1102
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 2: fell in love, like what a beauty? What what a

1103
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 2: raw necessary energy in spirit? Right really truly, And I

1104
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 2: also love like these new as comedians. Like there was

1105
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 2: a point where I'm like, I don't need to watch

1106
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 2: any more comedy. I know who I'm gonna know. Let

1107
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,800
Speaker 2: me go back and watch some George Carlin shit, you

1108
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, let me see some prior shit.

1109
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I know who I'm gonna know. But

1110
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 2: the world is changing, it's evolving, so should we. It's

1111
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 2: interesting to hear the thoughts and the life of a

1112
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 2: twenty two year old that has an interesting perspective. Yeah,

1113
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:53,240
Speaker 2: it can't all be TikTok.

1114
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 1: It can't all be TikTok. I thought when we were

1115
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 1: growing up or excuse me, coming into our own in

1116
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 1: stand up and cutting our teeth, things were a little

1117
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 1: bit different. Nowadays. I do like that people can more

1118
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: or less start on the comedy trajectory a lot earlier

1119
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: than we did. I felt like when we did it

1120
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:16,720
Speaker 1: finding your voice, Da da da da, it wasn't people

1121
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 1: weren't as clear as to what they should be doing

1122
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 1: on stage.

1123
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were all playing at a character of stand

1124
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 2: up exactly for a good ass while. And now we

1125
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 2: do have way more language for our feelings.

1126
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 1: Yep, you know what I mean.

1127
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,000
Speaker 2: Like I could debunk a problem with my son in

1128
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 2: a minute thirty on an Instagram where TikTok video because

1129
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 2: the therapist is like, boom, I don't need to like

1130
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 2: go make an appointment, go see someone blah blah blah. Yeah,

1131
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 2: like they just boom. This is what you could do

1132
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 2: for your kid that doesn't want to eat broccoli or

1133
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 2: whatever it is. And so you know, it is lovely

1134
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,239
Speaker 2: that it is really at our finger chips like that.

1135
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 2: But I think it's also really important to just unplug

1136
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 2: and put you feed in some grass and listen to

1137
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 2: whatever your body is doing. Call a friend that knows

1138
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,320
Speaker 2: you and like remembers your parents.

1139
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's just great to have people like Adrian

1140
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:11,879
Speaker 1: out there, you know what I mean, that are doing

1141
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 1: the kind of work that she's doing facilitating making sure

1142
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 1: that we understand that we actually are more connected than

1143
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: we realize. I love that part and I love that

1144
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 1: you this felt this episode felt like a first date

1145
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 1: between you and Adrian. And first dates are just to

1146
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 1: decide if you want to go on second ones. And

1147
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,879
Speaker 1: I think, I think, if we're gonna do the roast

1148
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 1: ceremony right now, there's gonna be a second date. And

1149
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,760
Speaker 1: I love that. You know, y'all should connect.

1150
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,439
Speaker 2: Thank you? You know what. I had a moment where

1151
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 2: I was like, did Jordan write this orgy question?

1152
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 1: Oh? No, Jordan did not write an orgy question. When

1153
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,240
Speaker 1: I think of orgies, I think of like food orgies.

1154
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 1: I don't often think of sexual orgies.

1155
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 2: But like, what the fuck is a food orgy?

1156
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 1: A food orgy is just like a huge display of food.

1157
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 1: One's so big that it's almost like embarrassing to touch it.

1158
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 2: Do people know this?

1159
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? They do, I think, I hope. I'm just saying

1160
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,760
Speaker 1: it with confidence us Anyway.

1161
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 2: Is this is what you and your wife call Thanksgiving? Okay?

1162
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Yes, an orgiastic amount of food.

1163
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 2: Would you say the meatball party is a food orgy?

1164
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? It is. I think that your spread yesterday was

1165
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:17,280
Speaker 1: a food orgy.

1166
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 2: I'm I'm hosting orgies and didn't even know it.

1167
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 1: You didn't even know it.

1168
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 2: This is who I am, you guys, you don't even

1169
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 2: know it. Sorry, not sorry, I'm hosting food orgies. You

1170
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 2: guys know that's not real. That's not a real thing.

1171
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm going to look it up, right mother,

1172
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:33,879
Speaker 1: and then you're going to be like.

1173
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 4: After each podcast session, we need to like really delete

1174
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 4: all our like our search engine period because.

1175
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 2: It is wild.

1176
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,320
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, oh, don't hit images.

1177
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 2: Don't hit image exactly.

1178
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 1: No, exactly, stop please, Okay, who are you talking to?

1179
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: You know? Well, the first okay, the first page is

1180
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 1: just food orgy porn videos and sex, food and and

1181
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:06,840
Speaker 1: and it does not really bode well for my theory anyway. Yeah, okay, fine,

1182
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:07,279
Speaker 1: fuck it.

1183
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, So who told you there was a food orgy then,

1184
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 2: because now I'm really need to trace it back to

1185
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 2: its roots.

1186
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,760
Speaker 1: I just have heard that an orgiastic amount of food,

1187
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 1: but like it doesn't you know, maybe it's just people

1188
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: clanging and banging on on top of you know, Sargoderi

1189
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: boards or something like that. I don't know.

1190
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:28,879
Speaker 2: There is a saying in Dutch called nokan in the cocain.

1191
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 1: You need to warn a bread before you say, you

1192
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:47,279
Speaker 1: don't even have to translate it. You ain't even got

1193
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: a translate for.

1194
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 2: The best of the listeners.

1195
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 1: Wait, was Who's and Who's?

1196
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 2: Was that in the cocin Who's? And if you have

1197
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,960
Speaker 2: not seen my special welcome to Utopia again into where.

1198
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 2: When I first met my husband Kais, he had a

1199
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 2: cat named Who's and his best friend, Heis's best friend

1200
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 2: is named Tice, And I was like, stop fucking with me.

1201
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 2: But there is a very popular saying called nokin in

1202
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 2: the cocain means which means fucking in the kitchen. Yeah,

1203
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 2: it's brick in bitch and ned alons.

1204
00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, oh wait, maybe I found it. Nope, this

1205
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 1: is all.

1206
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 2: This is all poor Are you still talking about food orgies?

1207
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be right.

1208
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 2: You know, I'll go to anything You're wrong, I'll go

1209
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 2: to anything it's weird. No, I know it's weird, because

1210
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 2: who am I? If I'm not right, that's okay, it's okay.

1211
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 2: Maybe you went to a sex party and they had

1212
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 2: a big buffet and you're like, this is what it is,

1213
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: shrimp cocktail for everyone, and that's okay. But this has

1214
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:51,919
Speaker 2: been a fascinating episode for a lot of different reasons. Yeah,

1215
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 2: and I wish we would have ended it a long

1216
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 2: time ago.

1217
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 4: But now I know that food orgies aren't real, and

1218
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 4: that you my going to orgies.

1219
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 1: I'm not with a little food not happening. But I

1220
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:08,439
Speaker 1: until next time, staynolking in the cocain. I love it

1221
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 1: all day.

1222
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just got my kitchen renovated so I could be.

1223
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 1: Oh my god, nokin, don't don't do that. Don't do that. Okay, Well,

1224
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:20,439
Speaker 1: I gotta call my therapist now and I will dap backsplash.

1225
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 2: Ain't dance for nothing, Bryan. All right, everyone, take care

1226
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 2: of yourselves and each other, and don't forget to not

1227
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 2: only wash your hands, but clean under your fingernail. Get dirty,

1228
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 2: nasty bitch, Bye bye bye.

1229
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:38,120
Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production.

1230
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 2: Our senior producer is g Howley.

1231
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 1: Art Associate producer is Christina Chamberlain.

1232
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by John Bradley.

1233
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 1: Our guest booker is Patrick Cottner.

1234
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 2: Additional production support from Hannah Kyle Crichton.

1235
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 1: Theme song and live show djang is my DJ Don Will.

1236
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 2: Our live show producer is Marian Ways.

1237
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 1: Artwork by Jamie Becktown.

1238
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 2: Photography by Heist vander Most.

1239
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 1: Executive prece by Karen Kilgera, Georgia Hartstar, and Daniel Kramer.

1240
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pod.

1241
00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 1: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com

1242
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 1: m