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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast, and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: I reconnected with my ex and now I'm questioning everything.

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Speaker 3: What is the meaning of all of this?

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Speaker 2: They're an next for a reason. My name is Richard

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Speaker 2: twenty six male. My wife's name is Barbara twenty six female.

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Speaker 2: My ex's name is Corey twenty four female. And her husband,

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Speaker 2: who probably won't show up in the story, but just

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Speaker 2: in case, is Bruce twenty four male. I think if

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Speaker 2: you get the naming scheme, sorry, I'm a big nerd

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Speaker 2: sometimes and names are hard. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from a user Hopelessly in Love zero three, twenty one,

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Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay Storytime subburd it. My name's

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Speaker 2: Keon and I'm Anjie and Opie says my ex Corey

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Speaker 2: and I started dating in middle school. We didn't actually

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Speaker 2: to go out on stuff, but we were together. I

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Speaker 2: don't know. Middle school relationships are very weird, so at

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Speaker 2: the very least we have a very extensive history. We

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Speaker 2: broke up and got back together maybe three times before

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Speaker 2: we really started dating, when I was a junior and

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Speaker 2: she was a sophomore. Originally she was dating a girl,

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Speaker 2: but she wasn't happy with her, and I convinced you

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Speaker 2: to go back out with me. PS. I already know

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Speaker 2: I'm not a good person, and this is not the

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Speaker 2: last time you will see me do something awful. All right, Okay,

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Speaker 2: at least you're aware. I'm older and trying to be

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Speaker 2: more mature about things, but I still make mistakes and

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Speaker 2: do my best to make up for them. Eventually we

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Speaker 2: had spicy sleep for the first time, making Corey my

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Speaker 2: first everything. Then we found out she was pregnant.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, oh nor.

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Speaker 2: I had already decided I was going into the military.

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Speaker 2: At one point, my buddy at the recruiting station told

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Speaker 2: me that if I signed the baby's birth certificate, I

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Speaker 2: would be held back from going to boot camp and

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Speaker 2: would be forced to wait another year before going. I

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Speaker 2: did not want this. I was about to have a

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Speaker 2: daughter and I needed money to support them. The military

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Speaker 2: was the only way to get that other than trade school.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know then what I know now. Fast forward

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Speaker 2: eight months, I get my final ship Big Nate, and

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Speaker 2: I let my ex know. At the time, I believe

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Speaker 2: she was okay with me going I let her find

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Speaker 2: out she felt abandoned. Some things I can't take back

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Speaker 2: that I would now, I guess. The next month, my daughter,

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Speaker 2: Robin now six female, is born. I stayed at my

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Speaker 2: ex's house to help take care of Robin. At the time,

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Speaker 2: we were kind of not together slash together, because we

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Speaker 2: broke up, then got together, then I cheated. Long story,

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Speaker 2: maybe another time. Dang man, All right again, you did

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Speaker 2: give us the four warning that you are kind of

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Speaker 2: not a good person. Yeah. The next month, I ship

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Speaker 2: out and go through boot camp, writing letters home to

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Speaker 2: family and my ex. At this point, our relationship was

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Speaker 2: kind of together slash not together, on and off. Figure

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Speaker 2: it out, just yes or no, there's no maybe yeah.

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Speaker 2: At this point in your life, you should be no,

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Speaker 2: we're done, or yes, we're together. Come boot camp graduation.

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Speaker 2: She comes to see me with our daughter and my parents,

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Speaker 2: and we have a good time together. I get to

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Speaker 2: go home and spend time with her before I go

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Speaker 2: back to do job training. We spent most of the

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Speaker 2: ten days together before I go do my job training.

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Speaker 2: While doing job training, I am texting whenever I can

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Speaker 2: to give her updates and ask about the baby. She

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Speaker 2: was healthy and fine, and that made me the happiest. Also,

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Speaker 2: during this time, I'm also talking to another girl who

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Speaker 2: is important, so I won't name her. Why the heck

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Speaker 2: are you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Oh be?

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Speaker 3: I don't know if she sounds pretty important here.

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Speaker 2: Struggling to like really be like on your side right

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Speaker 2: now because you're okay. My ex finds out and we

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Speaker 2: break up for the first time. While I was in

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Speaker 2: the military. I finished job school, I get my first

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Speaker 2: duty station in the middle of nowhere. Again, to be anonymous,

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Speaker 2: I cannot say it. During this time, I would go

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Speaker 2: home for my daughter's birthday whenever I could, and we

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Speaker 2: would start things up again. Partially. He was mainly for

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Speaker 2: spicy sleep.

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Speaker 4: Bad.

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Speaker 2: This is bad, This is all bad. I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: if that's how it was for sure, But after I

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Speaker 2: would leave, we would fight, then break up again. This

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Speaker 2: would go on for a while until I come home.

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Speaker 2: After breaking up slash hooking up, I decide this isn't

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Speaker 2: healthy for me. I decided I wanted to move on

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Speaker 2: so I downloaded Tinder and eventually met my wife Barbara.

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Speaker 2: We went on a couple of dates. I was very

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Speaker 2: happy and posting about our dates very seriously, not thinking

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Speaker 2: about if my ex saw them. Well, she did, and

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Speaker 2: she was not happy. We got into a huge argument

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Speaker 2: which ended with her giving me an ultimatum, choose her

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Speaker 2: and try to fix what we had and be in

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Speaker 2: my daughter's life, or choose my wife girlfriend. At the time,

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Speaker 2: after being tired of the toxic relationship we had, I

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Speaker 2: decided I want to give my relationship with my girlfriend

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Speaker 2: my attention. Something I wonder if I regret now.

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Speaker 3: Oh, but you can't say that.

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Speaker 5: I was reading this and thinking like, okay, first of all,

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Speaker 5: thought it was already over between you know, the the

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Speaker 5: og X and NOP.

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Speaker 3: Apparently not okay.

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Speaker 5: Maybe it's good that we're working on the relationship with

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Speaker 5: the girlfriend. I feel like this could go in a

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Speaker 5: good direction. Maybe this is what makes him turn around.

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Speaker 5: But then he just hits us with that. I don't

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Speaker 5: know if that's a good idea.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I have a really hard time organizing my thoughts and failing.

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Speaker 2: After the choice was made, we decided to go our

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Speaker 2: separate ways for almost four years.

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Speaker 4: WHOA.

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Speaker 2: My wife and I get married, we have a kid,

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Speaker 2: get a house, and we're trying to get by. We've

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Speaker 2: had some rough times, mainly me. I wonder why I

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Speaker 2: have cheated on her multiple times, and her, being the

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Speaker 2: patient saint she is, gave me multiple chances until she

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Speaker 2: gave me the last one, which I have not broken.

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Speaker 2: I have stayed faithful and wrong and really worked on

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Speaker 2: myself to be a good partner and father to my son, Damien,

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Speaker 2: now three. Male, I think you like Batman. You said

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Speaker 2: you were nerdy Barbara. I've beaten Bruce, I know. Now

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Speaker 2: I'm back home, trying to find a job since I'm

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Speaker 2: out of the military, and I try to make contact

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Speaker 2: with my ex so I can see my daughter. I've

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Speaker 2: slightly kept up with her through cyberstalking where she works.

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Speaker 2: She got married, which honestly broke my heart. But who

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Speaker 2: I am to say that since I got married first,

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Speaker 2: she looked very well and healthy and still amazing. Initially

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Speaker 2: the contact did not go well, but recently we decided

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Speaker 2: to meet and talk about being able to be in

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Speaker 2: my daughter's life. We meet alone at a cafe and

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Speaker 2: we walked in dang she looked great. Hey, hey, hey, hey,

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Speaker 2: you have a wife.

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Speaker 3: You have a wife.

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Speaker 5: You've been doing so well, apparently recently, for being faithful.

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Speaker 5: This is probably what should also be thought about. You

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Speaker 5: should think you should stop yourself from having these thoughts

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Speaker 5: before you cheat on your wife again.

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Speaker 2: My heart skipped a beat, my stomach wasn't notts, and

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Speaker 2: everything that I felt for her came rushing back. You suck, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you genuinely suck.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She berated me for contacting her and told me how

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Speaker 2: she successfully raised our daughter. She did amazingly, might I

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Speaker 2: add with no help from me, because you suck.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Obviously that girl is doing great things, and it may

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Speaker 2: be so happy to see her in pictures. The whole conversation,

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Speaker 2: I stayed civil. That was my purpose. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: stay civil and be friendly so I can see my

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Speaker 2: daughter and hopefully develop a relationship with her. But the

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Speaker 2: whole time talking to Corey, I just could not stop

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Speaker 2: thinking about what if this and what if that? What

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Speaker 2: if I chose to stay with her and raise my daughter,

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Speaker 2: then my beautiful son wouldn't have been born, and my

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Speaker 2: wife and I would not have the relationship we have now.

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Speaker 2: Even now a week later, I'm still thinking about her.

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Speaker 2: We text on the phone, but I think that's just

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Speaker 2: to build a friendship so that we can be comfortable

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Speaker 2: around each other and my daughter. Maybe I'm just overthinking things,

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Speaker 2: but I cannot get Corey out of my head. I

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Speaker 2: still love her, and I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: I don't like Oh Pee, I don't like oh Pepe.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes I guess you can have feelings that you can't

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Speaker 5: be in control of.

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Speaker 2: It's love that there is a love there, but that

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Speaker 2: is a is a different kind of love, like I

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Speaker 2: can love from Afar, right.

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Speaker 3: Like I yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 5: It's like I feel like, if you notice your feelings,

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Speaker 5: you should make a decision on what you want to

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Speaker 5: freaking do instead of just like toying with these girls,

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Speaker 5: you should, you know, think like, oh, okay, well I

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Speaker 5: have a wife right now.

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Speaker 3: I should be loyal to her.

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Speaker 5: So even though I am feeling these feelings, I'm going

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Speaker 5: to notice that and try to put.

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Speaker 2: A stop to it, those feelings down exactly, bad boy, exactly.

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Speaker 2: We've been through this way too many times, right.

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Speaker 5: And also too It's just like I feel like a

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Speaker 5: good way to look at if you want to get

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Speaker 5: back into a relationship is think about what it would

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Speaker 5: be like for them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you would want them.

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Speaker 5: They seem like great people. Both of these women seem

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Speaker 5: like great people, but like you, clearly have not been

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Speaker 5: great to them. So I feel like you should think

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Speaker 5: about that and be like, yeah, no, they don't deserve

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Speaker 5: to be in a relationship with me, you know exactly.

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Speaker 2: Oh Pee, what I'm getting from this is you're really selfish.

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Speaker 2: Whatever you want to do, and you don't get any

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Speaker 2: consequences for what you like. I can cheat on her,

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Speaker 2: nothing said about it, that's gonna happen.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 2: I made my decision to leave my ex wife and

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Speaker 2: my daughter to have another life, but now I think

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Speaker 2: I want that back.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, dude needs to go to therapy and see what

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Speaker 5: he thinks is missing in his relationship and see what

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Speaker 5: he's looking for, because if he does make the switch

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Speaker 5: and goes back to the first essay, it's like then eventually.

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Speaker 3: He's just gonna be like, oh, well what if this?

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Speaker 3: What if that?

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Speaker 5: It's like, No, make a decision and stick to it

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Speaker 5: or just be single. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get this story. I told my wife. I

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Speaker 2: figured I shouldn't hide things from her. And she deserved

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Speaker 2: to know. She's giving me time to think, and she

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Speaker 2: thought had and the thought has crossed my mind to

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Speaker 2: leave her. She said, if I did leave, it would

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Speaker 2: be mutual and no bad blood. I can see my

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Speaker 2: son whenever. I can see my son whenever I want,

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Speaker 2: and call to see him and try to be friends

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Speaker 2: with her. My question is read it? What do I do?

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Speaker 2: Could someone help me organ my thoughts? I know I'm

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Speaker 2: not a good person, so please don't mention it. I

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Speaker 2: know you are. I called myself everything that some of

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Speaker 2: you probably haven't even thought of. I'm just asking for advice.

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Speaker 2: Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Speaker 4: Thank you. PS.

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Speaker 2: My wife is not here at home with me. She's

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Speaker 2: tying up some loose ends at our house before we

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Speaker 2: move where or have some comments, and she before we

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Speaker 2: get the comments. I want to like, Yes, I want

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Speaker 2: to give you advice, but you don't deserve any of that.

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Speaker 2: I think, dude, That's where I'm coming at. You don't

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Speaker 2: deserve for hurting these kids and these women in your life. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you don't deserve the happiness. I mean, yes, everyone deserves happiness,

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Speaker 2: but you've had so many freaking chances time and time again,

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Speaker 2: not from your new wife, but also your ex wife.

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Speaker 2: You don't deserve any of this. Yeah, and we just

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Speaker 2: have some comments that really just call you out. Let's

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Speaker 2: see if there's anything.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Comment one is literally what the f is wrong with you?

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Speaker 2: Comming too? Yikes, you sound like a really crappy human, buddy.

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Speaker 2: The tone of this whole post is almost like pleading

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Speaker 2: for help, like none of this is in your control.

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Speaker 2: You honestly need to let your wife go. She deserves

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Speaker 2: better than some wishy washy excuse of a baby daddy.

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Speaker 2: She deserves a man who is going to want her

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Speaker 2: and care for her and not hurt her. You don't

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Speaker 2: want your ex. You were just a commitment fobe looking

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Speaker 2: for a way to justify yet again, wanting to step

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Speaker 2: out on your wife. Coming Three's shocking how you abandoned

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Speaker 2: your daughter and she done your current wife multiple times

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Speaker 2: and now you're considering cheating on her again. Grow up

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Speaker 2: and let your wife go. She deserves better. They all

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Speaker 2: deserve better. Coming four, what do you do? You bury

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Speaker 2: these feelings for your ex deep until they disappear and

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Speaker 2: stay faithful to your wife or get divorce papers today.

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Speaker 2: What we don't do is waffle back and forth on

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Speaker 2: your commitments because you feel giddy like a teenager again. Yes, yeah, yes,

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Speaker 2: you know what do you leave your wife?

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Speaker 4: Be single?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: You don't deserve any I'm sorry, Okay, I can't feel

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Speaker 2: bad for you.

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Speaker 5: Right It's like, if you feel like a bad person,

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Speaker 5: you know you have the chance to turn around.

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Speaker 2: You have you have an addiction, you have an addiction

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Speaker 2: to something on you, Like, I feel like you just

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Speaker 2: love doing.

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Speaker 5: This right, Like, you know, just because you're a bad

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Speaker 5: person right now doesn't mean that eventually if you get

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Speaker 5: better and stuff you you don't deserve, like a good

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Speaker 5: relationship like you do, you can get there. But think

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Speaker 5: about what these women deserve. Dude, you know you're a

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Speaker 5: bad person right now. You know.

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Speaker 2: I'm a bad person. I know I called everything in

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Speaker 2: the book, but like, I still want to keep doing

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Speaker 2: this to be a bad person.

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Speaker 5: So if you actually love both of these women, stay

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Speaker 5: away from both of them, all right, please? My husband

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Speaker 5: is being neglectful and I'm starting to hate him for it.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's time for divorce.

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Speaker 5: Things came to a head this year at the birthday party.

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Speaker 5: I threw him when his sister got wasted set on

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Speaker 5: his lap, and I ended up having to take her

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Speaker 5: home because she was too wasted to be alone.

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Speaker 3: Starting off strong.

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Speaker 2: Starting off one hundred miles for I Love It.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I was really angry and hurt because I spent

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Speaker 5: months planning the party and was hoping it could be

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Speaker 5: a reset for our marriage after a a few years.

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Speaker 5: He told me that he was upset about how his

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Speaker 5: sister treated me, and he would talk to her about

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Speaker 5: her behavior and boundaries when she when he was less angry.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Living Fun eighty nine

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Speaker 5: seventy and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 5: go to the hour slash Okay storytimesup Reddit.

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Speaker 2: And I'm angie, I'm keon.

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Speaker 5: And Ope says that conversation never happened, and he's acting

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Speaker 5: like everything should.

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Speaker 3: Be fine and I should just move on. But I can't.

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Speaker 5: It's not just how she behaved at the party, but

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Speaker 5: years and years of her treating my husband like her

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Speaker 5: spouse and him prioritizing her and her feelings over me.

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Speaker 3: I feel sad and trapped.

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Speaker 5: In this marriage, but I cannot leave him because I

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Speaker 5: pay for the care of a very sick family member

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Speaker 5: and it costs me tens of thousands of dollars per year.

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Speaker 5: I make good money, but I'd take a huge hit

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Speaker 5: with paying for care.

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Speaker 3: And having grown up poor. I really do value financial security.

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Speaker 5: We also have a child together, and I get so

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Speaker 5: scared that they'll turn out like my sister in law

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Speaker 5: if I cannot be with them all the time. To

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Speaker 5: make it worse, his friends don't know what I've put

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Speaker 5: up with for years, so they think that my reaction

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Speaker 5: to his sister ruining the party was over the top,

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Speaker 5: and my husband hasn't done anything to correct them because

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Speaker 5: that would require him prioritizing my feelings over his sister.

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Speaker 5: I just resent him so much, and I'm scared I'm

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Speaker 5: starting to hate him. I don't want to be alone

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Speaker 5: with him. I don't want to be affectionate with him.

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Speaker 5: I don't even like the sound of his voice. I'm

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Speaker 5: in therapy to deal with my marriage not turning out

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Speaker 5: to be what I wanted, and to find happiness with

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Speaker 5: myself while feeling trapped, But God, I can't stand him.

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Speaker 5: I've started leaving the room when he enters, or just

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Speaker 5: looking at my phone to avoid any interaction. He will

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Speaker 5: ask me if I'm mad at him or what's wrong

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Speaker 5: and I will lie and say nothing because there's no

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Speaker 5: point in having the same conversation with no change. For

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Speaker 5: the millionth time, he refuses to go to couples counseling,

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Speaker 5: not that it will help, because because he doesn't believe

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Speaker 5: in therapy. I look at him, and I don't see

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Speaker 5: a great man I married. I see an empty husk.

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Speaker 5: This all started when we moved back to his hometown,

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Speaker 5: and it feels almost like arrested development. I don't even

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Speaker 5: know why I'm posting, Probably just an event because I

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Speaker 5: was looking at him this morning and I was just

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Speaker 5: overwhelmed by how much I.

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Speaker 3: Hate who he has become.

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Speaker 5: And when I realized maybe this is who he always

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Speaker 5: was and he was able to hide it when we

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Speaker 5: lived in another city, I just feel sad alone and trapped.

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Speaker 5: Advice and there is an update, but oh boy.

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Speaker 2: I mean I was gonna say, oh, you can do therapy,

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Speaker 2: couples therapy, anything right, or talk to him. Seems like

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Speaker 2: you've done all of it. Op. Yeah, there's only one

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Speaker 2: logical answer to do here. The fact that you hate

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Speaker 2: the sound of his voice. I know, oh his voice.

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Speaker 3: It's like can't stand looking at him.

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Speaker 4: Or room it.

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Speaker 2: Angie Yeah, it's time. It's time divorce.

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Speaker 5: If that's the only reason you're you're staying, and so

356
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Speaker 5: that the kids don't turn out like his sister. I mean, one,

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Speaker 5: that's kind of a risk anyway, if she's being this

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Speaker 5: overbearing and this close and stuff. And two, I mean,

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Speaker 5: you know it's not a good enough reason to put

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Speaker 5: up with all this.

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Speaker 3: For that slight chance.

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Speaker 4: Agreed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I posted a couple months ago about how I think

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Speaker 5: I hate my husband due to issues we've had in

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Speaker 5: our marriage for years, including his mental health and substance,

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Speaker 5: youth struggles, and his sister. After reading the comments, I

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Speaker 5: spoke with a divorce lawyer and started making a plan

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Speaker 5: to leave him when I had enough money saved up,

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Speaker 5: probably sometime next year. I forgot that's also a big

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Speaker 5: reason why she's staying is for financial reasons.

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Speaker 2: Good, you're doing the right things right now.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 5: Then our son's birthday happened. We had a great party,

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Speaker 5: but when we got home we were exhausted. I got

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Speaker 5: frustrated when I saw I had another mess to clean

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Speaker 5: after I spend most of the morning before the party

378
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Speaker 5: cleaning our house because it was a mess. My husband

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Speaker 5: came upstairs and was immediately angry and told me that

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Speaker 5: I ruined our son's birthday with my outburst.

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Speaker 3: I just walked away.

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Speaker 5: And didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

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Speaker 5: The next morning, while I was getting ready for court

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Speaker 5: and to take our son to school, he demanded I

385
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Speaker 5: explained why I'm mad at him. I told him, telling

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Speaker 5: me I ruined our son's birthday because I expressed frustration

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Speaker 5: at having to clean again when I was exhausted was unnecessary.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, so that's it. She just got home and

389
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Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, it's so messy.

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Speaker 2: You didn't even ask your wife if you can help

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Speaker 2: the clean yeah, or just do it, like, just do

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Speaker 2: it your house too. Yeah. I can see why you

393
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Speaker 2: don't like him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: He then went off and told me how difficult I am,

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Speaker 5: and how he's tired of living like this and he's

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Speaker 5: done with this.

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Speaker 3: I told him, if he wants to.

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Speaker 5: Divorce, then do it. I then left with our son

400
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Speaker 5: to take him to school and I could go to work. Unfortunately,

401
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 5: my husband called in sick, and I knew I would

402
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Speaker 5: be stuck dealing with him when I would get back.

403
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Speaker 5: When I returned, I sat him down and told him

404
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Speaker 5: that I was done with the way he treated me.

405
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 5: I told him he thinks he's not mean because he

406
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,720
Speaker 5: doesn't yell all the time, but the way he handles

407
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 5: conflicts with his sister and never sticks up for me.

408
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,639
Speaker 5: The fact that he can just casually say that I

409
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Speaker 5: ruined my son's birthday and not get why I would

410
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Speaker 5: be upset with him for that. The fact that he

411
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,800
Speaker 5: has never taken into consideration everything he's put me through

412
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,479
Speaker 5: with his mental health and substance use issues when I

413
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 5: was the only one who supported him and made him

414
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 5: get treatment. The fact that he has never been honest

415
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Speaker 5: with his friends about his issues and is allowing at.

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Speaker 3: Least one of them to think that I have a

417
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Speaker 3: substance issue.

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Speaker 5: Because I was angry with his sister about her behavior

419
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Speaker 5: on his birthday. And the fact that he thinks that

420
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Speaker 5: telling me I'm difficult and he's just done is all mean.

421
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Speaker 3: Wow.

422
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 5: I told him I don't deserve to be treated this way,

423
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,959
Speaker 5: and if he wants a divorce, I'm fine with it.

424
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 5: I told him I will no longer tolerate how he

425
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,879
Speaker 5: treats me. I will no longer ate I will no

426
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:45,400
Speaker 5: longer tolerate his sister and their gross ammeshed relationship, and

427
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,399
Speaker 5: I will no longer tolerate him allowing his friends to

428
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 5: think poorly of me to protect himself and his sister.

429
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 5: I told him I would rather be alone for the

430
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,800
Speaker 5: rest of my life than continue living with someone who

431
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,919
Speaker 5: treats me like he does, and if he's going to

432
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Speaker 5: divorce me, to do it now instead of twenty years

433
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Speaker 5: from now so I can have.

434
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Speaker 3: My life back.

435
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,439
Speaker 5: He got really quiet, and I locked myself in the

436
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 5: office to work. A few minutes later, he knocked and

437
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,199
Speaker 5: asked to talk. He was crying and told me he

438
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 5: was sorry. He was sorry for what he said the

439
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 5: day before and that day about his sister and him

440
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 5: not standing up for me, about letting his friends think.

441
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 3: I have substance use issues, but it's him and his sister.

442
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,639
Speaker 5: He asked me if I really meant it when I

443
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,360
Speaker 5: said that I would rather be alone for the rest

444
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 5: of my life than be with him, and I said yes.

445
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 5: He then started crying harder and said he doesn't want

446
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 5: to divorce me. I told him threatening divorce because he's

447
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 5: mad is unacceptable and if he feels that way, he

448
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,359
Speaker 5: needs to be more serious about his therapy, talk to

449
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 5: his sister, about her behavior with me present and set

450
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 5: the record straight with his friends about what's been really

451
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:45,440
Speaker 5: going on.

452
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,960
Speaker 3: He said he would do all of those things.

453
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 5: We talked to his sister before Thanksgiving, and she is

454
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 5: terrified of me now. She wouldn't even be in the

455
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 5: same room as me, and I barely talked to her.

456
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 5: I made him put the call on speaker when he

457
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 5: talked to his friends about what happened, as sitting in

458
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,600
Speaker 5: on his next therapy session to tell his therapist what happened.

459
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 5: I'm still protecting myself by moving forward with saving money

460
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 5: and making a contingency plan with my attorney in case

461
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,679
Speaker 5: this change isn't permanent. I've told him the moment anything

462
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 5: goes back to how it was, I'm leaving and I

463
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 5: will file for divorce. He's been so nice to me

464
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 5: lately and is actually being supportive for the first time

465
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 5: in years. I'm still very wary this is permanent, and

466
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 5: am prepared to leave if needed. I honestly love that

467
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 5: his sister is terrified of me, because for the first time,

468
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,399
Speaker 5: she's not acting like a jealous wife. A couple of

469
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 5: his friends reached out to me privately and told me

470
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 5: that they wished that they had known about his struggles

471
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 5: so they could have supported me and expressed the same

472
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 5: concerns about how his sister behaves around my husband.

473
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 3: That was validating.

474
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 5: I'm not talking to the friend who accused me of

475
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,639
Speaker 5: having a drinking problem and told my husband that I

476
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 5: need distance from her because what she said was humiliating

477
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:52,919
Speaker 5: for me.

478
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 3: There's a little bit more to the story. I'm just

479
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 3: gonna jump right.

480
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 2: Due diligence.

481
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 5: Hopefully this is permanent and he makes real, lasting change.

482
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 5: I hope him hearing that I would rather be alone

483
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,439
Speaker 5: than be with him made him understand how horrible he

484
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 5: has been. I hope I can finally find happiness, either

485
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,959
Speaker 5: in this marriage or out of it. I also want

486
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 5: to thank everyone who provided such kind words and sage advice.

487
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 5: I don't think I would have taken the steps to

488
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 5: protect myself or found the courage to tell him how

489
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 5: I really feel if it hadn't been for you, I

490
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 5: never would have thought I.

491
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 3: Would realize I don't deserve that treatment.

492
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 5: If it hadn't been for the Subpreddit, from the bottom

493
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 5: of my heart, thank you.

494
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story, all right.

495
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 2: Dang Yeah, things are going in a positive light, right,

496
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 2: tread carefully you know. Again, if he just makes one

497
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,679
Speaker 2: wrong move or you know, goes back to his old ways,

498
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 2: you know what to do.

499
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

500
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 5: Good for you for, like, at least noticing these things

501
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 5: like that in itself is like a big task. So

502
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 5: good job for noticing what's wrong, noticing how you should

503
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 5: not be treated, and not standing for it.

504
00:21:59,320 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 4: Yeah.

505
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 2: Oh man, Yeah, do you do you hate them now?

506
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 2: I mean and like, I mean again, the fact that

507
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 2: you like it's like I just like him. It's like

508
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,439
Speaker 2: I hate his voice. I hate him literally, it's crazy.

509
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 2: It's crazy. Got to that point.

510
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like she's maybe giving him like another shot.

511
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 5: But like, if that feeling.

512
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 2: Doesn't really go like the final shot, don't.

513
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,880
Speaker 5: Try to convince yourself to shove that feeling away.

514
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 3: You're going to do that.

515
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,959
Speaker 6: My wife confessed to an emotional affair and then it

516
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 6: became physical.

517
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 5: Ah, you were so close to being able to get away.

518
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 4: With it, just maybe a little bit.

519
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 6: My wife Annie asked for some time to talk. We

520
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 6: have two little girls, three and five, and she arranged

521
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 6: a sleepover for.

522
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:39,919
Speaker 4: Them with her sister.

523
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 6: This seemed off to me, since she's vehemently against sleepovers

524
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 6: and has never agreed to one before. She sat me

525
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 6: down and admitted to having an emotional affair with a

526
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 6: coworker for about half a year that had now become physical.

527
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 3: She's like, I needed the kids out of the house

528
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 3: for this one. Oo yikes.

529
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from user Throwaway throw Away

530
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 6: Red and if you want to submit your own stories,

531
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 6: go to the r slash Okay storytime subred it. So

532
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 6: she wasn't crying when she told me. She works as

533
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 6: a corporate auditor for a large company and is skilled

534
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 6: at networking, so I never questioned the numerous texts and

535
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 6: calls she'd get during off hours.

536
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,640
Speaker 4: I asked how it started.

537
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,399
Speaker 6: Mark was a new hire, similar in age and also married,

538
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 6: so she felt safe hanging out with him. Their conversations

539
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 6: began around work and shared interests.

540
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 4: She said.

541
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 6: They became really good friends over their shared love of tennis.

542
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 6: Ah tennis ruins another marriage noo, the classic. I knew

543
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 6: she went every Saturday to the local tennis club, but

544
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 6: she never told me it was with Mark.

545
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 4: She'd always say it was just some people from work.

546
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 6: Mark's name never came up even when he first started,

547
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,880
Speaker 6: despite me knowing the people she was close with at work.

548
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 6: I had met him at her office Christmas party, but

549
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 6: he'd said hi and stayed away.

550
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 4: I assumed they weren't close.

551
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 6: I asked her to tell me everything, every lie she'd

552
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 6: ever said regard art Mark. A couple months ago, her

553
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 6: company arranged a team getaway, and she told me partners

554
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 6: weren't allowed.

555
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 4: That was a lie.

556
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 6: Her work friends go to the pub every Friday, and

557
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 6: when I asked about joining sometimes, she said it would

558
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 6: be awkward since no other significant others come.

559
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 4: Also a lie.

560
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 6: M She and Mark went on pseudo double dates with

561
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 6: her work friends, and she always told them I was

562
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 6: too busy when they invited me. Most of her lies

563
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 6: involved keeping me from seeing her and Mark interact. She

564
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 6: said she didn't even know why she was doing it initially,

565
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 6: but just wanted to keep us separated. I asked how

566
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,880
Speaker 6: it became physical. She said, last Friday, after the pub,

567
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 6: she'd gotten tipsy and.

568
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,920
Speaker 4: Went to the Schmokin' area with Mark.

569
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 6: They were talking about Mark's marriage and how he wasn't happy.

570
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 4: She hugged him, he kissed her.

571
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 6: When I asked if she kissed him back, she said

572
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 6: she didn't push him away.

573
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 4: The way.

574
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 6: She should have just just say you kissed him back.

575
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 3: I side just stood there and it's like and Robio

576
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 3: and Juliet. I just stood there and he just kissed me.

577
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 3: I didn't do anything about it.

578
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 4: My arms turned into little noodles. I had no power.

579
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 4: Ah yeah, she said.

580
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 6: She left after that and immediately came home. I remember

581
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 6: how quiet she was last Friday.

582
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 4: I assumed it.

583
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 6: Was the end of week's stress and let her have

584
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 6: time to herself while I put the girls to bed.

585
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 4: She said she was.

586
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 6: Telling me now because she'd realized she'd started an emotional

587
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 6: affair and knew the only way not to lose me

588
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,719
Speaker 6: was to come clean. She admitted that initially she just

589
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 6: liked that an attractive man was giving her attention and

590
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 6: used it as a confidence booster.

591
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 5: Auchi outing, what, so, does that mean that Opie is

592
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 5: an attractive.

593
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly oof oof. I slept on the sofa that night.

594
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 6: The next morning I needed more answers. We went out

595
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,959
Speaker 6: for breakfast and I asked if she loved Mark. She

596
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 6: immediately said no, that she'd just gotten caught up in

597
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 6: receiving attention from the wrong place. She couldn't imagine losing

598
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 6: our family and didn't expect me to forgive her, but

599
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 6: needed to tell me.

600
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 4: About the kiss.

601
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 6: I told her I didn't know if I could trust

602
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 6: her anymore after all the line. She started crying, saying

603
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 6: she would do anything to fix it. If I asked

604
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 6: her to quit her job, she would. She showed me

605
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 6: her phone she had deleted and blocked his number and

606
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 6: would now only communicate through a monitored company app. I

607
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 6: asked for space and moved into the guest room while

608
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 6: we figured out what to do next. She keeps talking

609
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 6: about couple's therapy and how she'd hate herself if her

610
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 6: actions caused our daughters to lose their parents. She grew

611
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 6: up in a broken home with a barely there dad

612
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 6: and doesn't want the same for our children. I told

613
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 6: her I'd never abandon my kids even if we do

614
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 6: split up. I talked to my older brothers about this,

615
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 6: and they said I should try for my daughter's sake,

616
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,120
Speaker 6: but also make her quit her job. I know how

617
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 6: long she's worked to be promoted into her position, but

618
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 6: I can't tolerate him being around her. Since we've been

619
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 6: sleeping separately, she's been sending me good morning letters that

620
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 6: she makes my five year old, bring to me manipulative.

621
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 3: Manipulative?

622
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, dude, my daughter enjoys being a carrier pigeon and

623
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 6: knocks on my door with a hootoo Oh, So my

624
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 6: mornings haven't been that bad. We've been cordial and focus

625
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 6: on making sure our daughters don't have any disruption. She

626
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 6: made coffee the other day and told me she loved

627
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 6: me when she handed it over, but I couldn't bring

628
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 6: myself to say it back. I haven't kissed or touched

629
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 6: her in a week, and there is an.

630
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 4: Update, but like, hmmmm, like.

631
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 6: Do I believe I mean, I guess I would believe

632
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 6: that it was just that one kiss, right, Yeah, because

633
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 6: of how she acted that one Friday.

634
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 3: Right, maybe it's salvageable.

635
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 4: If you just like, I don't know, but y'all are

636
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 4: gonna need guidance. Yeah.

637
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 5: I think definitely going to some sort of couple's got

638
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 5: because I mean, people have done it. You know, people

639
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 5: have like worked through cheating in their marriage, and you know,

640
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 5: I feel like if you're not either a couple's counselor

641
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 5: or have gone to a couples counseling, it's very hard

642
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 5: to see like how you could even move on from that,

643
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 5: so maybe a counselor would like just show them how

644
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 5: it would look and if that's something that they would want.

645
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, we stayed in limbo longer than we should have,

646
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 6: both waiting to get a chance to talk about it more.

647
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 6: My wife worked from home the whole week, then decided.

648
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 4: To take her saved annual leave.

649
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 6: I did not ask her to do this, but she

650
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 6: felt uncomfortable going to work. I told her not to

651
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 6: do it for me, but she insisted. I made sure

652
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 6: to spend time with friends and my brothers. My kids

653
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 6: didn't really notice anything different, apart from my eldest asking

654
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 6: why Mama and Papa weren't in the same room anymore

655
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 6: when she got up to come to us in the

656
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 6: middle of the night. I explained that I wanted to

657
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 6: be closer to her since the guest bedroom was closer

658
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 6: to her room, and she even slept with me in

659
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 6: the guest room a couple times. A couple days after

660
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 6: my post, we finally put the girls to bed and

661
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 6: I felt ready to talk. We sat at the dining

662
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 6: room table and I asked her to hand over her

663
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 6: phone so I could read the messages. They mostly communicated

664
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 6: on WhatsApp, and it wasn't hard to retrieve the chats,

665
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 6: and she backed up messages consistently. She handed over her

666
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 6: phone without protest, but kept saying she could tell me

667
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 6: what was in the messages instead. I don't think she

668
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 6: knew I knew how to restore them. I asked her

669
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 6: to sit with me while I read in case I

670
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 6: needed context. I read through them all, especially around the time.

671
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 4: Of the work trip.

672
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 6: There were very suggestive things he said that she let

673
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 6: him get away with or entertained. He had a quote

674
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 6: unquote favorite top of hers that he complimented every time

675
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 6: she wore it, and when I asked if she wore

676
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 6: it more regularly for him, she said the thought crossed

677
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 6: her mind when getting dressed. There were long texts from

678
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 6: him about how beautiful she was and how he wished

679
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 6: he'd met her when they were both younger. She never

680
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 6: shut him down. He almost reciprocated without fully committing. She

681
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 6: and Mark had gone dancing with coworkers, and he told

682
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 6: her how smexa she looked.

683
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 4: That night.

684
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 6: She told him how I didn't say things like that

685
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 6: to her anymore. They'd go weeks just surface level texting,

686
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 6: and then suddenly there would be a thread from the

687
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 6: middle of the night where either one was venting about

688
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 6: their feelings. Annie would complain about how exhausted she was

689
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 6: from being a mother and wife and how she needed

690
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 6: a break from everything. If we ever got into a fight,

691
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 6: she'd tell him how she wasn't sure if I loved

692
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 6: her anymore and was only with her because of the kids.

693
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 5: If it was venting about anything else other than the relationship.

694
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 3: Maybe it would have been fine.

695
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,959
Speaker 5: Maybe it's like, okay, yeah, they're just friends, but you

696
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 5: do not if you were having an emotional affair with someone,

697
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 5: or like having this flirtatious energy with someone.

698
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 3: You do not tell them about your relationship problems.

699
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's absolutely wild to be like, oh, my husband,

700
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 6: I don't know if he yea loves me.

701
00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 4: It's like it's a.

702
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 6: Conversation you have with your husband, right, be like, I'm

703
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 6: I feel just really overwhelmed as a wife and a

704
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 6: mother and I'm not even sure why you're in it.

705
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 6: Can we talk about this exactly instead of just going

706
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 6: to Mark.

707
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 5: It's just setting him up like perfectly to just be like, oh, well,

708
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 5: I can I can fix that for you.

709
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 4: I can fix that.

710
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, dude, I can fix that.

711
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 4: Come on, Come on, man.

712
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 6: She sat there while I read everything and answered my

713
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 6: questions when I asked for context. When I was done,

714
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 6: I asked her again if she'd slept with him. If

715
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 6: she had, she needed to tell me now. She promised

716
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 6: on our children's lives that she hadn't done anything more

717
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 6: than kiss. I asked if she'd done anything else inappropriate,

718
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 6: and she admitted that on the work trip, they'd gone out,

719
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 6: got a little wasted, and she sat on his lap

720
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 6: while he told her he wanted to ever.

721
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 4: She said they were both wasted.

722
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 6: So she let it go, and he claimed he didn't

723
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 6: remember saying it. The next morning, when I asked if

724
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 6: she'd been tempted, she said she had, but knew she

725
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 6: wouldn't be able to hide it from me if she

726
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 6: did it, and that she loved me and knew she'd

727
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 6: lose our family if she slept with him. She told

728
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 6: me she had gone to therapy her first time and

729
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 6: said I should do the same. I asked if she

730
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 6: told her family, and she said she'd spoken to her

731
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 6: sister about it. They got into a fight, and her

732
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 6: sister told their mom her family is not defending her actions.

733
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 6: My mother in law came to see me and apologized

734
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 6: for her daughter's actions while telling me to give her

735
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 6: another chance. She'd gone through what I was going through,

736
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 6: except her husband actually slept with multiple women and then

737
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 6: ditched his whole family.

738
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:41,959
Speaker 4: But uh, I don't know.

739
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, second chance.

740
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 6: I mean, I'm probably gonna have to set if it's me,

741
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 6: I probably have to separate for a while.

742
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I probably would too. I'm just really bad at

743
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 3: hiding my emotions. I think when it comes to problems

744
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 3: like these.

745
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 5: It's like if this happened to me and I was

746
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 5: like I had to just like pretend like everything was

747
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 5: fine and just like move on with it, I could

748
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 5: not do that at all.

749
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I think you can maybe.

750
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 6: I mean, clearly, if you want to try to make

751
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 6: this work, it's gonna take more than jess separation. It

752
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 6: would take that and then counseling, right, But I think

753
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 6: doing that and then you know, coming up with some

754
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 6: reason for the kids as to why that's happening and

755
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 6: being like, oh, it's for.

756
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 4: You know, work or blah blah blah.

757
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 6: It's like having a you know, a short term lease

758
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 6: on an apartment somewhere for a couple of months maybe,

759
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 6: and like just being able.

760
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 4: To feel what that feels like.

761
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 6: And if you really like, ah, I miss my family

762
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 6: more than I'm upset about what what what she did right,

763
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 6: then then that's your call to make. But there's no

764
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 6: way I could just pretend like everything's fine while we try.

765
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 4: To work it out.

766
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 3: Absolutely for sure.

767
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 4: Okay.

768
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 6: Annie has a few more days left on her her

769
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 6: annual leave and decided to hand in her notice when

770
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 6: she goes back.

771
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 4: Wow, so Annie's getting a different job.

772
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 6: I'm step which is I think would also have to

773
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 6: happen if we were going.

774
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 4: To stay together.

775
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it definitely helps.

776
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 6: I'm still sleeping in the guest bedroom, still struggling with being.

777
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 4: Physical with her.

778
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 6: If she reaches for me or kisses my cheek, I

779
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 6: don't deny it anymore. I'm quick to snap at people

780
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 6: around me. My wife is taking the brunt of it,

781
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 6: but it's the same at work too. My drinking has increased.

782
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 6: After Annie made a comment on it, I said something

783
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 6: along the lines of, well, can you blame me?

784
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 4: And she left the room in tears.

785
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 6: My brother said it would hurt less with time, and

786
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 6: that we needed to actively work on building a new relationship.

787
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 4: She's still trying.

788
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 6: She's almost too agreeable with me to the point where

789
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 6: it's annoying, like compensating.

790
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can see that for sure.

791
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 6: I almost want us to scream at each other so

792
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 6: we can move on from this weird, polite relationship we've

793
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:57,439
Speaker 6: got right now.

794
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story.

795
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 6: Couple's therapy, my guy, Yeah, y'all, clearly y'all should go together.

796
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think he just definitely needs therapy. Is it

797
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 5: for himself too? Just individual for him? Because I mean, yeah,

798
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 5: obviously you know, turning to drinking is not a good

799
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 5: way to cope with things, so hopefully therapy can help you,

800
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 5: like find some good coping mechanisms, healthy coping mechanisms.

801
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 2: With all this.

802
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 3: But yeah, that is very, very tough.

803
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 6: Completely unsustainable, the drinking cope mechanism. Yes, and really any

804
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 6: substance used to call that?

805
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 3: Yep?

806
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 4: Not great?

807
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 3: No, No, yeah.

808
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,240
Speaker 4: John, here we're gonna get back to this juicy story.

809
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,280
Speaker 4: But a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

810
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 5: My friend kept stealing from my husband, so I cut

811
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:49,439
Speaker 5: her off.

812
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,320
Speaker 4: Hope she wasn't stealing no kisses?

813
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 6: Uh?

814
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 5: Oh, myself thirty one female and my husband, Josh thirty

815
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 5: four male, relocated across the country just about a year

816
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 5: ago with our two littles. We bought a beautiful home

817
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 5: and a nice, little, tight knit neighborhood right next door

818
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 5: to Sarah thirty six female and her husband Jacob thirty

819
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:10,359
Speaker 5: six male, with their two kids. Serendipitously, each of our

820
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 5: older kids are the same age, and each of our

821
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 5: younger ones are just under a year.

822
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,240
Speaker 4: Part nice.

823
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 3: By the way, this.

824
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 5: Comes from Opposite Afternoon seventy two on the too Hot

825
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 5: Take subreddit, and if you want to submit your own stories,

826
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay storytime supreddits. Since we've

827
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 5: gotten close, we have shared family style dinners, game nights,

828
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 5: movie nights.

829
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 3: We've taken them to the casino.

830
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 5: They showed us some local parks and fairs, and everyone

831
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 5: in both.

832
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 3: Families has a best friend that's perfect.

833
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 5: In my original post, I had shared this friend was

834
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 5: considered a fast friend to me. I was under the

835
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 5: impression that a fast friend is a common phrase, like

836
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 5: two kids who meet at the playground and can just

837
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,439
Speaker 5: play and understand each other like they've always known each other.

838
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,360
Speaker 5: This is how I considered this friend, I my short

839
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 5: time best friend fast friend. So Josh works hard to

840
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 5: support our family and enjoys the casino. He has brought

841
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 5: Jacob to the casino probably every month for the last

842
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 5: five to six months. Just a few weeks ago, now

843
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 5: we were all going to go, or that.

844
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 3: Was Josh's hope.

845
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 5: He got a huge suite from a host with food,

846
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 5: comps and extra gift cards for bs around the resort,

847
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 5: and the whole thing would not have cost a dime,

848
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 5: so he invited our neighbors before really checking in with me. Ultimately,

849
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 5: I did not want to go for fear of risking

850
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 5: injury to my oldest, who has recently suffered from a concussion.

851
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 5: At home, we've had no screen time, no climbing, no jumping,

852
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 5: no strenuous activity, no wrestling, and my job has been

853
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 5: telling these poor kids, no, no, no, until it doesn't

854
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 5: mean anything. We haven't really spent time with the neighbors

855
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 5: because it's exhausting to keep an eye on all of

856
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 5: them for the sake of my oldest. In a casino

857
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 5: with iPad parents, that there would be no avoiding this

858
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 5: and I would just be stuck in a room trying

859
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 5: not to scream from insanity.

860
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 3: Same for my kids.

861
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, having a concussion in a casino with all those

862
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 5: lights and screens in front of you, noises.

863
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 6: You might just like, uh, spontaneously learn how to count cards.

864
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 2: Though.

865
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 5: Imagine that that's like your superpower that you get from

866
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 5: your from your you.

867
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 4: Just like them.

868
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like how your risk got you want to

869
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 5: hit that you broke it, you definitely want to hate that.

870
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 3: Yeah.

871
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 5: So when I told this to Josh, he revised his invite.

872
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 3: He was still going.

873
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,760
Speaker 5: He was not going to pass up the big beautiful suite.

874
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 5: Jacob was welcome to join him, but if the whole

875
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,879
Speaker 5: family was coming, Josh would rather let Jacob get them

876
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 5: their own room. Cue the start of my irritation with

877
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 5: the neighbors. They called him, texted him, begged him for

878
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 5: days before.

879
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 3: Talk to your wife, make her change her mind. You've

880
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 3: got to get her to go.

881
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 5: Jacob was so worried that Sarah wouldn't let him go

882
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 5: if she couldn't go.

883
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: Uh, And she was only going if she got to

884
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 3: use the big beautiful suite.

885
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 5: Jacob got a promotion to stay in a standard suite,

886
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 5: which would have been very comfortable and not and still

887
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 5: not cost them a thing, since Josh was willing to

888
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 5: still use his other comps with all of them.

889
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 3: But this was not enough.

890
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 5: Josh filled me in every step of the way, continue

891
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 5: to tell them that I didn't feel comfortable because of

892
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 5: the kids, and left it at that. The morning, the

893
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 5: morning both husbands left, Josh got a text from Sarah

894
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 5: saying that she didn't realize she'd have to spend that

895
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 5: time stuck in the room alone with the kids, so

896
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 5: she was staying behind and to have fun.

897
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 3: And if you know Sarah, you read that have fun

898
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 3: with a sneer, have fun. So Josh called.

899
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,959
Speaker 5: Me and was floored at her entitlements. When I've gone

900
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 5: with my kids to a casino, we get to use

901
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 5: the pool. Sometimes there's a golf course. This specific casino

902
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,399
Speaker 5: has an arcade, and then I plan ahead to spend

903
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 5: the time relaxing in a hotel room with my kids.

904
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,759
Speaker 5: So so much of the draw of any casino is

905
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 5: for adults, and that's just that. So I will bring

906
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 5: at home spot care, nail polish, coloring books, games, and

907
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 5: usually we'll have a movie marathon with room service in

908
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 5: robes even in a standard room.

909
00:39:58,680 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 3: No sweet beaded.

910
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 5: Later in the day, my kids and I decide to

911
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 5: go for a walk. Her kids are outside dancing on

912
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 5: their driveway, So my kids rush on over. That's so cute,

913
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 5: they're just dancing.

914
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 3: I love that.

915
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 7: I love it.

916
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,720
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah, perfect.

917
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 5: So there we all are, now elephant in the room.

918
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 5: She's mad at me, and I'm getting the gold shoulder.

919
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 5: Now I'm floored. If the shoe was on the other foot,

920
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 5: if anything ever came in the way of pre made

921
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 5: plans or even spur of the moment plans, I never

922
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 5: made her feel bad for it.

923
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 3: And this is my kid, lady ick.

924
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 5: So anyways, later that night, after the kids are asleep,

925
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 5: I get a text from Josh that just says Jacob

926
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,359
Speaker 5: just tried to steal money from me. I caught him

927
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,800
Speaker 5: with two hundred dollars from my wallet.

928
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 3: This is so disappointing. All I saw was red.

929
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 6: A my god, red Angie's scary, red Angie.

930
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 4: Where's your skin, red envy?

931
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 5: It's all ripped away from my go oh my god,

932
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 5: it looks so great now after that. Okay, anyway, I

933
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 5: had stood up for this, but had in the past.

934
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 5: Josh had suspected when Jacob drove home at the weird hour,

935
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 5: at a weird hour, hammered, and he was so certain

936
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 5: there was five hundred dollars missing from his wallet. This

937
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,240
Speaker 5: wasn't the sort of person Jacob was on a different

938
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 5: occasion with a different scenario, five hundred dollars again, Still

939
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,720
Speaker 5: no way, He's got to be mistaken right. Sadly, Josh

940
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 5: dropped it for the sake of the kids and our friendships. Now,

941
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 5: I was certain of these previous thefts too, and I

942
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 5: couldn't stand the thought of keeping these entitled people in

943
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 5: our lives.

944
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 3: Come to find out, Josh was willing to give it

945
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 3: another go.

946
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 5: He was wasted enough that he calmly told Jacob that

947
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 5: this isn't right. He expects more from him, and that

948
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 5: they would get his and that they would get past this,

949
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 5: but it would take time for Josh to fully trust

950
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 5: him again, and then he told him not to go.

951
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 3: Throughout the night, Josh began to regret this choice more

952
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:57,439
Speaker 3: and more.

953
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 5: Jacob almost immediately asked for money, to which Josh said, are.

954
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 3: You fi serious?

955
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 5: His catches him stealing two hundred dollars and then he's like, oh, dude,

956
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,240
Speaker 5: like you, that's not how you do it. You can't

957
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 5: be doing like, you don't steal from me, and he's like, okay, okay,

958
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 5: can it borrow two hundred dollars? So it's just continued

959
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 5: downhill from here. When we spoke the next day, we

960
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,839
Speaker 5: probably riled each other up, sure, but without the roll

961
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 5: rose colored friend glasses, I couldn't stand them. I could

962
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 5: see the one sided contributions. I could see the one

963
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 5: way conversations, and I could see the exhausting drama that

964
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 5: had nothing to do with us. So instead of handling it,

965
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 5: I drove away. I packed up the kids some camping gear,

966
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 5: and I drove cross country to visit family. Josh works

967
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 5: long hours, and unless planned, he never really sees anyone

968
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 5: but us, so he just did his usual thing in

969
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 5: a quiet house.

970
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 3: I overthought the conversation that needed to be had.

971
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 5: I had nightmares of her reaction to the news, and

972
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 5: I decided I needed to send a text before I

973
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 5: even started my way home. So I did took my

974
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 5: emotions out of it. I gave her the facts of

975
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 5: what happened between Josh and Jacob, and I let her

976
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 5: know that we just couldn't be friends anymore. She took

977
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 5: about two and a half hours to reply in a

978
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 5: group chat with me and Josh. She gave us a

979
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 5: bunch of manipulation, in my opinion. She repeated that she's destroyed,

980
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 5: that she's blindsided, and that she is sobbing and throwing

981
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 5: up with how hurt she is by all of this.

982
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 3: I don't care clean it up. I don't care clean

983
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:29,399
Speaker 3: it up.

984
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 6: Dong.

985
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 5: She thanked Josh for taking the high road, and when

986
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 5: I spoke to Josh, we decided I would respond. Since

987
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,879
Speaker 5: I didn't have service that night, I text. I sent

988
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 5: a text about two days later and continued to keep

989
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 5: the emotion out of it. Let her know that what

990
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 5: she had to say felt like it should have been

991
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 5: said to her husband, and she didn't understand how this

992
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 5: wasn't the first time. I let her know that her

993
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 5: husband walked all over Josh and used him, and that

994
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 5: due to a lack of communication from Jacob since then,

995
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 5: it proves to us that he didn't care to just

996
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,320
Speaker 5: let us walk away and keep her in the blind

997
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 5: So now she spirals. Now I can just hear her

998
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 5: screaming from states away. The only point I know she's

999
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 5: probably right to make is that this does not belong

1000
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:16,479
Speaker 5: in the text. But could you blame me, her other

1001
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 5: points being she is trying to apologize. Jacob is mortified.

1002
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 5: Jacob couldn't even steal from a store, so they're destroyed

1003
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 5: that he could ever think to do this. He doesn't

1004
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 5: remember doing anything more than this, shortly followed by this

1005
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 5: is between Josh and Jacob, and not to text her

1006
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 5: any further. When I've sent two texts and the OG

1007
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,320
Speaker 5: one and the follow up one, she has sent several,

1008
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 5: so Josh says, you got it, and she spirals again.

1009
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 5: Now it's my fault. I should have never gotten involved.

1010
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 5: Josh and Jacob should have handled this between themselves. I

1011
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 5: shouldn't be speaking for Josh, and I am making her

1012
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 5: the villain. I made this so bad by doing this

1013
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 5: all through text. And then Josh stands up for me.

1014
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 5: He lets her know that I did what was right

1015
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 5: to let her know why we would no longer be

1016
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 5: friends and that things would be between Jacob and himself

1017
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 5: going forward, since that's what she asked for and we

1018
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 5: have a spy, remember the first. She takes that as

1019
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 5: a slight at her, saying that she's not in charge here,

1020
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 5: and then she brings up a situation involving the kids

1021
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 5: where she proceeds to blame mine for a situation and

1022
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,919
Speaker 5: then insists that she has never made me feel bad

1023
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 5: about said situation.

1024
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: There is a little bit more into this story, but

1025
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 3: what a headache, dude.

1026
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, dude, your friend is a drunk thief and you

1027
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 6: should you know, understand that moving forward.

1028
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 4: Don't trust him.

1029
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 5: And this is like the worst person to get into

1030
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 5: a text argument over too. Is like you say your things,

1031
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 5: you say all that you really needed to say, You

1032
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 5: hit all the marks of what you want to talk about,

1033
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 5: You say it in a calmway, and then they just

1034
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 5: hit you back with even longer pair off every single time.

1035
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:53,919
Speaker 5: It's like no, no, no, no, we were done.

1036
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 6: Now you say I'm sorry, my bad, I'm in a

1037
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:02,879
Speaker 6: bad place, not not well. Actually yeah, blah blah blah

1038
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 6: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

1039
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 3: Blah from the past. Dude, that's stupid, that's stupid behavior.

1040
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,760
Speaker 3: Don't do that. There's a little bit more to the story.

1041
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 3: So she victim blamed my child.

1042
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 5: Oh brother, I saw her fall off the face of

1043
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 5: the earth at that point, do not talk to me,

1044
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 5: do not talk to my kids, and do not come

1045
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 5: on my property.

1046
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 3: You do not fix this, you ignorant f The next.

1047
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 5: Morning, I get the last of the texts, starting with

1048
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 5: I respect your decision, but and that bunch of the

1049
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 5: same bs after that. So in the end, am I

1050
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 5: the A hole? Could this have gone any other way?

1051
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 5: Did I overreact? I originally posted for advice as of

1052
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 5: how best to break up with this friend, but now

1053
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 5: I'm indifferent to her snooty pinched which face, And that's

1054
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 5: the end of that story.

1055
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, what would you do?

1056
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 3: How would you?

1057
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:56,879
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1058
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 4: I think I'd be moving on in peace.

1059
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 6: I just quietly stop engaging and giving a hoot and

1060
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 6: a half. Yeah, I would just slowly pull back and

1061
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 6: watch my life just become peaceful. Because it's like when

1062
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 6: someone's sending you like seven paragraphs in response to stuff,

1063
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 6: it's like there's no point in trying to be like, hey,

1064
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 6: so blah blah blah, Like for X.

1065
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 4: Y and Z, I'm out. You just just do it

1066
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 4: because they're not gonna accept it.

1067
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 6: They're just gonna go, yeah, well you shouldn't be because.

1068
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,359
Speaker 3: Of blah blah blah blah blah blah, bah blah blah

1069
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 3: blah blah, bah blah blah blah, bla blah blah blah.

1070
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 5: Those points are invalid, and it's like, well, I don't care. Actually,

1071
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 5: if you don't like those points, I still just don't

1072
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 5: want to be around you anymore.

1073
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, hey, it's Sam.

1074
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three

1075
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 1: of bits of bads from our sponsors that keep the

1076
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 1: show alive.

1077
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 7: I refuse to tell my friends why I cut them off.

1078
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 3: Because they should have known. You know what you did.

1079
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 7: I twenty eight female, was best friends with Kayla twenty

1080
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 7: nine females since eighth grade and Cora twenty nine females

1081
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 7: since frushman year, ninth grade before I cut them off

1082
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 7: a couple of years ago. All three of us were

1083
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 7: super fast friends, and with having fifty percent of classes

1084
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 7: together in high school, we were basically inseparable. But the

1085
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 7: more I reflect on the friendship, the more I understand

1086
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 7: why my parents didn't like either of them. Sorry Mom

1087
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 7: and dad. By the way, this comes from free Jello

1088
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 7: on the r slash Charlotte Doe Bray youtubes. I read it,

1089
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 7: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

1090
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 7: to the r slash. Okay, storytime separate it. The three

1091
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 7: of us were in marching band together and for band

1092
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 7: camp we had to pick roommates for the week. Never

1093
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 7: goes well, Never goes well. Kayla and Cora always paired

1094
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 7: themselves up, and so I had to find a different roommate,

1095
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 7: and the same would go if we had away competitions

1096
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 7: and had to stay overnight somewhere. One time, we had

1097
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 7: to be in a group of four for a hotel

1098
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 7: at an out of state competition, and they chose two

1099
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 7: other people to room with them.

1100
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 3: Oh, pie, these are not your friends.

1101
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 7: Not your friends, leaving me to scramble and find a

1102
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 7: group that needed a fourth person yet or stay in

1103
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 7: the same room as my parents, which was not gonna happen.

1104
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 7: As a teenager trying to be cool sounds lame, but

1105
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,720
Speaker 7: as a high schooler it always made me pretty sad

1106
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 7: that my supposed BFFs never wanted to stay in the

1107
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 7: same room with me. After we graduated, Kayla went to

1108
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,919
Speaker 7: college that was about an hour and a half away

1109
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 7: from our hometown, fully paid for by her parents. Cora

1110
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 7: went into the military and was gone for about two years.

1111
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 7: Whoa and I had attempted college but dropped out after

1112
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 7: one semester. Our freshman year of college, Kyla got involved

1113
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 7: with a rowdy crowd of people that liked to drink

1114
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 7: and smoke. She drank heavily and that there was more

1115
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 7: than one occasion where she would call me to pick

1116
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 7: her up because she was too wasted or too high

1117
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 7: to drive. Mind you, I'm still an hour and a

1118
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 7: half away. That's what always wanted. I'd be like, wait,

1119
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 7: you're driving an hour and a half to pick her out?

1120
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 3: Why would you go to this thing and not like

1121
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 3: plan that ahead of time.

1122
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 7: At the time, I was still attempting college and I

1123
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 7: had a crap car that barely made it from a

1124
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,839
Speaker 7: to b Rip to Ronnie the Rendezvous.

1125
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 3: Huh, you sucked.

1126
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 7: You were a great car.

1127
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:06,240
Speaker 3: Oh ah.

1128
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 7: But Kayla knew that I didn't care how far away

1129
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 7: she was. I would go pick her up and bring

1130
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:14,240
Speaker 7: her back to her dorm no matter what, no questions asked,

1131
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 7: because I would rather be the one driving than her

1132
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 7: driving while under the influence.

1133
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1134
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:22,919
Speaker 7: After doing this probably five to six times, my dad

1135
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 7: made a comment saying she was taking advantage of me

1136
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 7: and my willingness to always be a DD. I told

1137
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 7: him my reasoning, and he asked why she wasn't asking

1138
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 7: friends at her college. Yeah, I just shrugged and ended

1139
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 7: the conversation. The only time I ever got mad at

1140
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 7: Kayla for this behavior was when one of these trips

1141
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 7: to pick her up, the car in front of me

1142
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 7: hit a deer whoa, which caused debris to pop my

1143
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 7: tire and I had no idea.

1144
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 4: How to put on the spear. Oh my goodness, whoa.

1145
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 7: I called her asking if anyone who was sober could

1146
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 7: help me change tire, and she hung up on me.

1147
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 7: What um, yeah, not your friend, not your friend. Thankfully,

1148
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 7: the cop that stopped was super helpful, and yes, I

1149
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,240
Speaker 7: still went to pick her butt up. This behavior continued

1150
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 7: throughout freshman and sophomore year of college, but her drinking

1151
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 7: and smoking was so bad she failed out of college

1152
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 7: and had to move home. This was about the same

1153
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 7: time that Coorra moved home, and that summer we had

1154
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,799
Speaker 7: all turned twenty one, so we started going to the

1155
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 7: bars as a group most weekends. As the last one

1156
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 7: to turn twenty one, I hoped I would get the

1157
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 7: traditional American twenty first birthday. Instead, I was their DD

1158
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 7: because Kayla had four to five shots within the first

1159
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 7: hour and Coorra was chugging long Island iced teas like

1160
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 7: they were actual teas. And girl, that's when you said, Okay,

1161
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 7: we're gonna leave the car here, or we don't even

1162
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 7: bring the car at all. If you guys think you're like, just.

1163
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 3: Assume they're gonna drink take an over.

1164
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 7: So on my twenty second birthday, I asked if either

1165
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 7: one of them could DD or if one of their

1166
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 7: boyfriends could pick us up so I could actually drink

1167
00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 7: and have a fun time. And this time I wasn't

1168
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 7: going to be the one to watch their drinking. I

1169
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 7: was gonna enjoy myself, and I did for about two hours.

1170
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,320
Speaker 7: I told them I had to run to the bathroom

1171
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 7: and would be right back. I was gone for twenty

1172
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 7: to twenty five minutes due to the long line, and

1173
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,760
Speaker 7: guess who left during that time.

1174
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 3: That's insanely dangerous, Kayla, that with your girlfriend?

1175
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 7: No never, especially because Opie was drinking. Yeah never, never,

1176
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,839
Speaker 7: nop Kayla and Cora had called Cora's boyfriend to pick

1177
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 7: them up, leaving me alone at the bar wasted. I

1178
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 7: started crying to my favorite bartender and bless party Marty,

1179
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 7: because that dude gave me a gatorade, lots of water

1180
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 7: and drove me home once it shift ended. Shout up party, Marty.

1181
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 3: Shout up party, Marty.

1182
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 7: I'm sorry these are they're not your friends and they

1183
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 7: haven't been your friends ever.

1184
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 3: There's people, you know.

1185
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 7: When I asked wtf happened and why they left me,

1186
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 7: both Kayla and Corus said they had assumed I left

1187
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 7: because I was gone for so long. Says I call

1188
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 7: bs because Cora and her boyfriend lived fifteen minutes away

1189
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 7: from the bar, so they had to have called him

1190
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 7: as I was headed to the bathroom to have left

1191
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:13,120
Speaker 7: by the time I was done taking a pee. Jumped

1192
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,359
Speaker 7: to about a year later, Cora and her boyfriend are

1193
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 7: expecting their first kid. She randomly called me, bawling her

1194
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 7: eyes out, saying she wasn't sure what to do as

1195
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 7: they had very little income, very little income, and wanted

1196
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:25,799
Speaker 7: their daughter to start off right.

1197
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,319
Speaker 4: Uh oh, guess who they want to be the new mom? Oh?

1198
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 7: Pie, stop, it's not a problem. So I did what

1199
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 7: any friend would do, something that they probably would never

1200
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 7: do for you exactly. I rallied with Cora's mom to

1201
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 7: make the best baby shower in all of the Midwest.

1202
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 7: I spent what little extra money I had to buy

1203
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 7: all the sizes of diapers a baby could possibly wear.

1204
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 7: I made the cupcakes and cake pops from scratch, learned

1205
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:56,240
Speaker 7: how to make a balloon arch, and pinterested the crap

1206
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 7: out of baby shower games. Orra cried and said over

1207
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 7: and over again how much she loved the shower, but

1208
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 7: she never actually thanked me, only her mother. Her mom

1209
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,359
Speaker 7: did give me credit for my efforts, but Cora kind

1210
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 7: of just brushed it off and went to welcome guests

1211
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,400
Speaker 7: and open all her gifts. I couldn't bring myself at

1212
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 7: the time to care that she didn't thank me personally,

1213
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 7: because all I truly cared about was her and her

1214
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 7: baby and making sure they were going to be okay.

1215
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 3: Ah, pase, Opie, you're so nice. You're too like too nice.

1216
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 7: This is not like at a certain point you can

1217
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,800
Speaker 7: be too nice and it's it's detrimental to you. Kayla

1218
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 7: didn't help with the party planning, but she was in attendance.

1219
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 7: She said she forgot a gift, so I told her

1220
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 7: to put her name on one of the boxes of

1221
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 7: diapers I brought, which she did along with adding her

1222
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 7: name to the present I brought. She never paid me,

1223
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,240
Speaker 7: nor did she give Cora an actual gift for her daughter.

1224
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 7: Once Cora's daughter was born, things started getting uncomfortable for me.

1225
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 7: We'd still go out drinking every once in a while,

1226
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:58,720
Speaker 7: but we would always end up back at Cora's apartment,

1227
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,720
Speaker 7: where everyone would smoke grass, sometimes even with the baby

1228
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 7: home girl nice oh pee oh pe, like you're you're

1229
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 7: bothering me now, I'm bothered.

1230
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 3: I'm bothered. I'm bothered.

1231
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 7: This is people pleasing to like a very unhealthy level.

1232
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:20,680
Speaker 7: On one of these nights, they showed off their new husky,

1233
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,720
Speaker 7: which basically became mine for the night because they didn't

1234
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 7: understand that puppies need to go out a lot before

1235
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 7: their house trained. I even took her for a walk

1236
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 7: at eight am the next day because she was whining

1237
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 7: in her crate. I accidentally locked myself out, so I

1238
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 7: had to repeatedly buzz their apartment. When Coral finally let

1239
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 7: me in, she yelled at me for waking them up,

1240
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 7: even after I explained why and that I took her

1241
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 7: dog for a walk. I left shortly after that. My

1242
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 7: final straw.

1243
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

1244
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 7: That was too many straw here?

1245
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 3: How many straws do you have?

1246
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:58,640
Speaker 7: That's like six thousand straws.

1247
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 3: Don't you know? Save the turtles? Saved the turtles.

1248
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:04,360
Speaker 7: Op, that's too many straws. Came when I got a

1249
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 7: text from Cora asking for four hundred dollars boy because

1250
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 7: they couldn't pay their electricity or gas bills. Again, being

1251
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 7: concerned for my friend and her daughter, I did what

1252
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 7: I thought was right and sent her the money.

1253
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 3: That's not what's right.

1254
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 5: Ope, you didn't did not head against you, Absolutely didn't you.

1255
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 7: You did what's wrong. But that weekend she asked if

1256
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 7: I wanted to join her and Kayla at the water park.

1257
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,319
Speaker 7: I said yes because I had the day off, and

1258
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 7: ended up having to pay for gas on the way

1259
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 7: back because neither one of them could afford it. Then

1260
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 7: they can't afford to go to the water park.

1261
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 3: I've given up on Ope, I truly give up. A

1262
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 3: while ago, two ish.

1263
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 7: Months later, Bora asked for another two hundred bucks because

1264
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 7: her card declined and she couldn't afford groceries. She had

1265
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 7: texted me while I was on the phone with my

1266
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:56,360
Speaker 7: boyfriend now husband, and he said that he thought she

1267
00:56:56,480 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 7: was taking advantage of me. He thought, well, he thought, what.

1268
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 5: A crazy idea you said?

1269
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 3: It was your final straw. Three straws.

1270
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 7: Ago to do so many straws? D when is it

1271
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 7: your actual final straw? I was blinded by friendship and

1272
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 7: still sent her the two hundred dollars. And you know

1273
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 7: what I saw on Kayla's snapchat that night, Cora and

1274
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 7: Kayla going to the local liquor store and Cora paying

1275
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 7: for the excessive haul of ooze. On a different snap

1276
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 7: it was the two of them with the caption more money,

1277
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 7: more drinks.

1278
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 3: I was livid.

1279
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, I told my boyfriend and he suggested not interacting

1280
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 7: with them for a couple of weeks, maybe forever.

1281
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 3: Before have we considered that?

1282
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 7: But like clockwork, a month later, Cora couldn't afford diapers.

1283
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 3: I was getting pretty.

1284
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:47,200
Speaker 7: Fed up and didn't know what to do, so I

1285
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 7: called my boyfriend and he suggested, if I wanted to

1286
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 7: help the toddler, but not send Cora money, to order

1287
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 7: the diapers and have them shipped to her doorsteps.

1288
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 4: So I did.

1289
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, at least he's smart. At least you're dating someone smart.

1290
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 3: I still hate it.

1291
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 7: As soon as I sent Cora the order confirmation, she

1292
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 7: called me all upset, asking why I went and just

1293
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 7: sent her the money like before, and in the background,

1294
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 7: I could hear Kayla say something along the lines of, oh,

1295
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 7: if they were not going out tonight, yeah, doui DOUI

1296
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 7: saw that from a mile away.

1297
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 3: Deep breaths, everyone deep breaths.

1298
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 7: So I mustered up a kernel of courage and told

1299
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 7: Cora I was in a bank and couldn't keep sending

1300
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 7: her money. That was the last time I spoke to

1301
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 7: either of them.

1302
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 5: Finally, Oh, are we're free, pallluia, I.

1303
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 7: Have been released from the shackles of Op's chronic.

1304
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 5: That's a great way to breass hostage.

1305
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 7: You were holding us hostage.

1306
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 3: It was terrible.

1307
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 7: I realized they only ever asked for rides, gifts, or money,

1308
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 7: so I stopped responding to them. I had hoped they

1309
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 7: would reach out and apologize for the behavior.

1310
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 3: I'm still waiting, you silly, you, silly goose. Ope.

1311
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 7: The last time either one of them sent me a

1312
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 7: text was when I got engaged. Kyla asked why don't

1313
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 7: we hang out anymore?

1314
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 3: And what did she do?

1315
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 7: That was so bad that I stopped talking to her

1316
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 7: and Cora. After the text, I decided I was one

1317
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:21,439
Speaker 7: hundred percent done with both of them.

1318
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:22,200
Speaker 3: Thank god.

1319
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 7: If Kayla couldn't tell that she used me over and

1320
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 7: over again. I mean, took you nine years to figure

1321
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,439
Speaker 7: that out, and Coorra couldn't figure out that I didn't

1322
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 7: want to fund her bad choices then they weren't worth

1323
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 7: my time. That was about three years ago, and with

1324
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,880
Speaker 7: our high school reunion coming up, I'm wondering if I'm

1325
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 7: the a hole for not explaining even when asked, and

1326
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:43,919
Speaker 7: wondering if I should explain to them why I cut

1327
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 7: them off so abruptly if I see them again. To

1328
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 7: this story, op I don't even think you should go

1329
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 7: to your high.

1330
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 3: School, you sweet little angel, Opie.

1331
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 7: I don't even think you should go edit for more context,

1332
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 7: since there are a few people that are baffled. I

1333
00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 7: put up with it for so long, trust me. I'm

1334
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 7: also mad at myself for that good. When I said

1335
01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 7: we were inseparable, I meant it for an entire summer.

1336
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 7: I lived with Kayla and her family. I was at

1337
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 7: their house so often her parents joked about adopting me

1338
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 7: and turning the guest room into my own room. I

1339
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 7: went on countless trips and vacations with both Kayla and

1340
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 7: Cora's family without paying for them. They were like my sisters,

1341
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 7: if I had a bad day, they would be over

1342
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 7: with ice cream and rom Coms in a heartbeat. Maybe

1343
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,680
Speaker 7: in high school. Yeah, but that hasn't been true in

1344
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 7: a long time, it seems. For this post, I did

1345
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:34,640
Speaker 7: cherry pick the moments that hurt the most when I

1346
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 7: decided to cut them off. But with seven to eight

1347
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:39,919
Speaker 7: years of friendship, there were a lot of moments where

1348
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 7: they were there for me, which is why I was

1349
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:44,439
Speaker 7: too dumb to see how awful they actually were.

1350
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,520
Speaker 6: Uh, were they there for you as a transactional because

1351
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 6: friendship should be unconditional, it shouldn't have a price on.

1352
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:51,760
Speaker 3: It, exactly.

1353
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 7: I mean, I'm just shocked that your parents didn't try

1354
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 7: and prevent this friendship more because we know that they

1355
01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 7: didn't like them.

1356
01:00:58,640 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1357
01:00:59,040 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 3: Absolutely,