WEBVTT - Episode 454: Who's Plugging Who? (Feat. Shaun T & Scottie Rocks) 0:00:01.480 --> 0:00:03.640 What's up A slip service? A'm Angela Yee, I'm g 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:05.480 G Maguire, I'm Jordani Manuel. 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:07.080 Oh, I'm Scottie Rock. 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:07.440 Okay. 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:12.120 Shawnty's husband AKA, I'm Sean. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:13.240 See what's up? 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.720 You have to be a Shanty's husband, I mean his half, 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:18.439 his better half. 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:23.200 No, you have my better hole. I'm a whole husband, 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:24.200 not a half husband. 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:26.880 Is it? We're being like married to somebody famous and 0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:29.000 you have to like when you introduce yourself, they're like, oh, 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:30.120 this is Shawnte's husband. 0:00:30.200 --> 0:00:32.040 I mean he is who he is. I mean, look 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:35.280 at him, he's all that, and you know, you just 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:40.960 get at first. It's exciting, you know, because I didn't 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:43.080 know who he was at first. Let's be totally honest. 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:43.480 Okay. 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:45.760 The funny funny story, which he hates when I say, 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:47.519 is that when we met, he's like, so have you 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:49.880 googled me? And I was like why. He's like, you 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:52.640 should google Sean and I was like, what are you like? 0:00:52.680 --> 0:01:00.800 Madonna googled Sean Shawnte and it came up. It's like, oh, okay, God, 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:06.040 So to answer your question, it's fun. There's some downfalls, 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:08.560 but you know it's I love him. So it's what 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:09.039 comes with. 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:11.240 The package, right, you know, it's nothing to think about 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:13.920 because somebody would be like, Oh, that's Gigi's boyfriend, or 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:18.039 that's Jordan's man, And so I wonder if guys feel 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:21.200 a little weird sometimes with the dynamic of being like, oh, yeah, 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:24.080 that's S's and such as you know, the. 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:27.039 Thing is like, he is the reason why I get 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:29.759 noticed everywhere, because I'll be somewhere and they'll be like, Oh, 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:32.360 you're Sean T's husband. He must be around here somewhere. 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:35.240 He's actually just as famous as I know. 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:37.479 It's actually because you guys do a lot together, and 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:41.000 I think that is like just to see how you 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:44.000 guys are celebrating each other because marriage has been tough 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:45.920 for a lot of people lately. Yeah, and you'll have 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:50.360 been married for what eleven almost twelve years in Yeah, 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:52.720 and we keep seeing all these people that don't seem 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:54.040 like they're having that much fun. 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:58.240 We have a good time. So I will tell you this. 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:01.000 In the very beginning of our relationship, the one thing 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:04.840 we said, well, we are really great communicator communicators, and 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:06.920 we just have no secrets. 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:08.639 We're like, if we got to go to the trenches, 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:11.280 with honesty, like that's exactly what we're going to do, 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:13.840 and it just leaves you not having to guess like 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:15.880 what some people think or what they feel. And even 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:18.920 in times where you know we have knocked down drag outs, 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:21.640 I tell people like we have a lot of testosterone, 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:24.200 Like there's definitely some you know, you know, we were 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:24.919 both athletes. 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:26.280 I'm like, who gonna take this one? 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:29.360 But at the end of the day, like he is 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:31.240 my raw to die, you know what I'm saying, and 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:34.560 we are one hundred percent honest with each other. There's 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.280 nothing you can tell him that I haven't already told him. 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.520 Having been in relationships where you were you're not honest, 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:43.400 being in a relationship where there are no secrets is 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:47.400 really refreshing because you can tell I can tell him anything, 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:50.079 or if I'm concerned about something, I'm like, Yo, don't 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:51.360 get mahad of me when I'm gonna say this, but 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:52.880 I'm going to we need to talk or we need 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:54.200 to go in the locker room is what we say, 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.200 you know, to preface, so that we know we're going 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:59.600 to talk about something that could potentially be I don't 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:01.320 know where we get into, but it. 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:03.679 Was a learning curve though, because I'm from Jersey and 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:05.639 he's from Yeah, Like he didn't want to say ship 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:06.400 and I want to say. 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:09.560 Everything, so we had to like we did you know? 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:12.720 They say like there's a compromise or whatever, but it's 0:03:12.720 --> 0:03:15.760 not so much that we compromise. It's more of like, oh, 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:18.480 I can learn to be calmer from him, and he 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:22.320 can learn to speak up for himself. So we do 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:23.520 we do fit like legos. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.919 Even astrology chart will tell us that we don't need 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:27.200 to be. 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:33.280 Did you know that before or did you research? 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.240 What I learned about Jordan is she loves talking about hospital. 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:44.080 He'll talk to you all for like four minutes to 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:45.280 be like you're with this and you're this. 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:51.720 So I'm not going did that like that? So, Scott, 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:55.160 you said that before having come from relationships where you 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:56.840 weren't honest, So did you said be a liar? 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:00.480 I mean I lied pretty much for thirty eight years 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:02.800 my lifey right, So I was used to lying because 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.400 I wasn't comfortable. I didn't want to be gay. I 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.120 used to always say I just haven't met the right girl, 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:12.080 and you know it, I was hoping it would go away, 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.640 and so I had to lie I was a professional 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:16.800 athlete too, so it was like. 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:17.599 That's tough. 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:21.320 You can't be gay in play soccer or any sport really, 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:24.039 and so I I, yeah, I was a professional liar. 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:27.320 Wow, So you actually didn't let people know until you 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:29.919 guys announced that you were getting married, well publicly. 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:32.279 I came out to my parents when I was thirty four, 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:34.120 but I really didn't. I don't feel like I came 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:36.640 out until I met him at thirty eight, and then 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.000 you know, he was he we can we can talk 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:40.600 about our Twitter exposure. 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:43.360 Well, I want to say first, that's the other dynamic 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:45.479 between us. I came out at twenty one. My mom 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.320 was like, word like, let's go. You know, she made 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:49.160 jokes about it. 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:51.400 And you know, how did your parents be it? 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:54.840 So my dad was like I knew for four years 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:57.960 and my mom cried for six months. I mean again, 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:00.480 it wasn't a bad situation. They were both very supportive. 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:02.640 They both love me, and they both love him like 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:06.560 a son authentically. But you know, there's that fear. So 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:08.719 I didn't come out to them first. The first three 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:10.480 people I came out to, two of them were like, 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:12.560 I don't want to be your friend anymore, and I 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:15.880 was like, crazy, So I have one third I'm succeeding, 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:19.240 I'm failing. I have one third percent of people that 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:21.360 are going to say, Okay, it's cool that you are 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.960 who you are. So I'm not doing this anymore. So 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:25.640 I'm gonna try to like fight it and fight it 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:27.159 and fight it. And I fought it. 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:30.359 That's awful for somebody to not be your friend anymore. 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.000 Can you imagine that crazy? 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:33.480 Just want to be your truth? 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:34.760 It's crazy. 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.640 And I can say now that I am authentically myself. 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:41.440 It is I really wish hope that people could do 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:43.760 that because it is I say, before I met him, 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:45.400 I lived in black and white, and now I live 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:47.520 in color because I can be who I am and 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:49.440 he loves me for who I am. So it's the 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:50.760 most amazing feeling ever. 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:51.239 Wow. 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.760 So when you coming out at twenty one, you said 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:55.359 your mother. 0:05:58.080 --> 0:05:59.000 She should be here tonight. 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:00.600 Oh my god, I gotta tell you just it is 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.040 so crazy. So, first of all, I came out to 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:04.880 my mom in twenty one prior to that. 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:07.200 So I grew up in the church, like my grandfather 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:09.560 was the pastor, my grandmother the first lady. My mom 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:12.520 grew up in the church, the whole thing. So I 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.360 had a roommate with who was my boyfriend. And so 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:18.680 my grandfather said to my grandmother like, yo, we need 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.680 to talk to Sean about this friend that he has. 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:23.680 So my mom was like filling me in on all 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.280 the details. She's like, you know, pop ups on to 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.760 you whatever. But I still not I know, but I 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:31.640 still had not come out to my mom yet. So 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:33.000 I was like, you know, I need to come out 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.040 to my mom. So I went to her that night 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.760 and I talked to her about you know, we had 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:39.760 a conversation. I talked to her about my sexual abuse. 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:42.000 I just went through my whole history. But then we 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:45.000 got to the part I'm like and I'm gay, and 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.120 so she was like Mac, it was literally like telling 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:50.600 your best friend who loves you. And she was just like, 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.480 we're But she was like, I just got one question. 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:55.479 She was like, you know because at the time, I 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:56.880 was dating this guy named George, and she. 0:06:56.920 --> 0:06:59.640 Was like like, is George your boyfriend? And I was 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:02.080 like yeah. She was like Sean. She's like, are you 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:03.200 going back home tonight? 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:06.040 I said yeah. She's like, can I ask you one question? 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:10.120 I was like, what she was like, don't get mad 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:11.880 at me. When I asked you this, I was like what. 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:19.480 She was like, who's plugging who? Because she she she's hilarious. 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:20.400 What did you tell her? 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:24.160 I said, I don't do that. I was a total 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:28.360 top get into it just there because I was like no, 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:30.920 but you know it was her way of just being like, 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:33.000 wee cool about it. 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.240 And I was like, don't tell Ennis. Who's my brother? 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:37.120 I was like, I want to tell him tomorrow. So 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:38.520 I called my brother. I was like, Hey, I meet 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:40.240 you at the house tomorrow. We get out the car. 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:41.560 He's like, Mom already told me. 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:43.360 He was like, you don't need to come out. 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:44.160 Yeah. 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:45.560 He was like, you don't need to come out to me. 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:47.240 You just need to tell me, you know, the guys 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.400 that you think are hot, like I just I literally 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:51.000 had it probably easier. 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:56.760 Than great A great workout series. What's that total top 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:57.840 total talk. 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:16.320 Royalty? I don't. 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:22.720 Yes. So now, okay, so when you guys met, you 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:24.520 met in the gym, right, is that correct? 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:28.119 We tell people we met in the gym because people 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:31.400 are just not ready. We met on a website called 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:39.640 Yeah it was a website and you know people called 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.520 a dating website. It was a hookup website and that's 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:43.040 how we met. 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:45.559 Okay, so what is it? It was an initial hookup 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:47.000 and not a date or was it? 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:47.320 Yeah? 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:47.960 It was. 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:51.920 It was in relationships. I was in a six year relationship. 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:56.480 You were in into your relationship, I think, unhappy, But 0:08:56.800 --> 0:08:59.080 for me, I keep it in this. Sorry for me. 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:01.680 My parents have been married for fifty some odd years, 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:03.560 so I just assumed that I this is the person 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:05.520 I'm going to be with my life. You know, I'm 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:07.400 not happy because at the time, I didn't think my 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.079 parents were happy to be together for fifty some odd years. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:12.600 So I was like, Okay, this is the guy. Cool. 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:16.040 And then I meet him and uh, I was hooking 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:18.240 up on the side. He hooked up first. 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:20.400 I was like, you not long ago. 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:35.559 So so then we, you know, were on this side 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:38.040 and unhappy with what we're in, and we dip and 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.840 doodle and dabble, and you know, we met at the 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.600 corner of fifty eighth and ninth and instantly. 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:48.160 I'm glad you know that exactly the case it was. 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:52.240 It was on the detail. Yes, wait, she wanted details, 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:57.360 so we so on this website you can do video calls, 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:58.439 like just to kind of see what. 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:00.840 The person to make sure this is real, because. 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:03.560 His profile was just his torso, so I was just 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:04.040 like whatever. 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:08.319 So he we're facetigming each other, and I'm like, he 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:11.040 you know his profile, he's like six foot white, one 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:12.520 hundred and eighty five pounds or whatever. 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:14.880 And we facetimeed, but his lights are out in his apartment. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:18.880 I'm like, you look black, like you lightskned black, dude, 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.120 And so I was just like, wait a minute, you're white. 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:22.480 Like it was just so funny. 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.320 So when I met him, the only thing that was 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:28.280 black with that okay, So yeah, we met on the 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.400 corner I literally, you know, fifty eighth and ninth, Like 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:34.400 ninth Avenue runs north south, fifty eighth Street runs east west, 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:36.000 and so I was like, I'm going to go up 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:37.880 fifty eighth Street. I'm not going to come up ninth 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:39.920 Avenue because I want to see him from afar. 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:40.800 I want to make sure. 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:42.720 And anyway, I walked up to him. 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:46.199 He was sitting on the corner on the CVS windowsill, 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:48.920 and I swear and he says the same thing. 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:50.800 Literally, we started walking back to his. 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:55.760 Apartment to do with that top, and I was like, 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:57.199 I'm gonna be with this person for the rest of 0:10:57.240 --> 0:10:57.520 my life. 0:10:57.840 --> 0:10:59.959 I knew it literally with him, I was like. 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:02.120 And so what we found out a couple weeks later 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.320 is that when he walked up to me, I literally 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.480 I felt this energy take over my body. And I've 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:09.960 never felt this before. I don't I don't know if 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:12.440 I necessarily believe in before life after life kind of 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.600 thing where someone's reincarnated whatever. I felt like I had 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:17.439 known instantly felt like I had known him for like 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.040 two hundred years, and I was like, how is this 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:22.439 what's this feeling? I don't know what it is. It's weird, 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:25.400 but he's really cool. And so within three steps we say, 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.840 which was the theme of our wedding, three steps, we 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.120 both knew that we were going to be with this 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:35.559 person forever. And then we talked about it afterwards and 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.280 it was like, oh, wow, you had the same feeling, 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:37.760 and so. 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.440 You are the living example of don't let your boyfriends 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:44.000 stop you from meeting your husband. 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.520 Our friend says, you got to break a home to make. 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:55.400 I will tell you this because. 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:58.280 It's not something I don't think anybody's proud about being like, 0:11:58.400 --> 0:11:59.720 oh I stepped out or whatever. 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:01.360 But you know, if you're. 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:04.360 Unhappy and you know, you know the behind the scenes thing, 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:07.520 but I will you know, I was engaged. I was 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:11.360 actually engaged and had had multiple conversations with verseon I 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:11.600 was with. 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:13.199 But anyway, why were you unhappy? 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:16.240 Why did you both but why were you both unhappy 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:17.319 in your relationships? Though? 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:21.600 Like I wasn't challenged and I had conversations about it, 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:24.280 but they were just very complacent. And I would never 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:29.240 talk bad about this person, incredibly kind human being, likeably 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:30.920 like hasty to this day, but. 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:31.720 It just wasn't it. 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:33.679 And I think I think that's what happens is kind 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:35.400 of like what Scott said, my parents have been together. 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:37.920 People get settled in. You don't want to break up, 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:39.240 you know, you don't want to break up with that 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:41.440 person and hurt them, and then you built these friends together, 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:43.600 so you're like in this embarrassing state. And I'm not 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.319 saying that you should cheat before you break up, but I'm. 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:49.160 Just saying that a lot of people settle and then 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.960 five years later they have kids, they're married, they have 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.600 all the money and everything together, and then you're stuck. 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:56.720 And so you just have to be fearless about going 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:57.880 after what it is that you want. 0:12:57.920 --> 0:12:59.840 That's why they call it settling down. So what of 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.400 time frame was it from this meat on the corner 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:04.680 to you telling your others at the time. 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.640 Mine was mine was very too weak. Mine was too 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:09.240 weak because I. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:10.440 Came very forward. 0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:14.400 Yeah, but I said, if I feel this way about you, 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.480 even if we don't end up being together, then I don't. 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:19.480 Need to be with this other person. That's in fact, 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:23.040 like my heart is open for something else, you know. 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.000 And so that was me and Scott. 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:27.360 What was going on in your relationship that was unhappy? 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:29.840 Well, I realized after years and years of therapy, I 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:32.440 wasn't happy with myself. I didn't love myself, and so 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:35.199 I really couldn't love someone else. 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:37.839 It just. 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:43.440 I was just settling because my parents, I thought, had 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.920 settled for so long. They truly love each other, they're 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:48.840 still together. But I was like, this is what I'm 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:51.880 supposed to do. And being from Seattle, where we hugged 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:54.400 trees on the regularly, it's like we're very peaceful where 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:58.800 you don't like we whenever we compare like my friend, 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.760 my three friends, best friend from back home, they're like, 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.959 we would never like confront people about stuff. And he's 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:07.960 like that's just what we do. So not necessarily the 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:09.560 culture or the way I was brought up is just 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.400 like you kind of put up with it and you 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:14.080 kind of sweep it out of the carpet and you 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.160 just hope it goes away, kind of like being gay. 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.680 I hoped it would go away, and after you just 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:25.560 build up this tolerance and then that's nice thing. The 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:28.040 thing that I was going to say is that is 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:31.760 because I didn't love myself and I wasn't being honest 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.640 in my relationship. I met him, and now I can 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:38.160 be honest and be open, and you know, I had 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:41.480 to go on that journey to find myself and then 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:45.920 realize that it was okay to be loved. And I'd 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.480 never met someone who was my ride or died before him. 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:50.560 There was one other person who I played soccer with 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:53.000 that introduced me to the concept. But to have someone 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:56.200 actually have your back is major, especially when you're struggling 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:57.560 with who you are right. 0:14:57.960 --> 0:14:59.680 And so wait, so you guys went back to the 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:00.360 apart man. 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:06.360 Yep, we walked in, had a long hallway. He walks in, 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.040 He's up against the wall. I literally he was wearing 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.680 a hat. I go up under the hat, we kissed 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.400 literally like you know how on the Brady Bunch they 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.240 had stars back. You know, it's like you're. 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:19.280 Dating yourself sixty four years old. 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:23.760 So but it just for me it was like wow, 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:28.920 his lips, his breath, like everything about him was everything 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:33.640 you need, everything, and it just was like I just 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:36.760 see these fireworks and I'm just like, holy crap. 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:38.560 And for me, it was more of like, you know, 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:42.920 after you do what you do and you know, you know, 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:49.200 we're being very candid here, but right lips a service, right, 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:53.280 But after we you know, had our climax and all 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.120 the fun stuff, it was you know, we finished and 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:58.320 we were like, you want to go get something to eat? 0:15:58.400 --> 0:15:59.680 Like that's what the energy was like. 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:01.480 It wasn't you weren't ready for it to end. 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:07.040 I'm getting out of here like so that was that 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:10.320 for me was just like major. I was like and 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:11.920 at that point, I was like, I need to get 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:13.480 out of here because I was just. 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:14.680 Like because it's also scary. 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:16.040 It was scary. I was like, I need to get 0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:16.360 out of here. 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.520 Two weeks later, I'm finished working out the gym, I'm 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:24.400 an Equinox on Nineteenth Street. I'm getting my food and 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.320 i look up and he's getting food and he looks 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:30.000 up and he rolls his eyes at me, and I'm like, damn, 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.000 like the hottest, most amazing person just like rolled their 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:34.440 eyes at me. So I was like, whatever, you know 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:36.120 what I'm saying. I still turned it out. I'm gonna 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.880 go sit down. And then I sat down. He came 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:40.520 over to me and he was like talking to me. 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:42.360 He's like, you know, I have a cold store, and 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:44.120 I didn't want I was like, he's like the one 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:45.920 person that I did I would not want to see 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:47.280 with the coldtor. I'm like, let me tell you something, 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:48.640 I'm not looking at the cold sore. 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.760 So that that was the day we were like all right, 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:56.760 this is this fate because like I. 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:58.360 Just happened to walking by Start, I had a cafe 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.240 in it. I was like, let's go in. It was 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:01.880 the first day I was out of my apartment in 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:03.880 two weeks because I had a cold for the first time. 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.239 I was like, so you stayed in the apartment for 0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:06.800 two weeks. 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:08.160 I mean you can do that in New York City 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:10.120 we worked from home. 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:10.400 Yeah. 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:13.879 So, and then so I rolled my eyes. I was like, fuck, 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:18.160 this is not the day to run into that guy wasn't. 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:21.359 That bad the culture, No, okay, I saw it. 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:23.879 But when you have it, it's like, yeah, you feel 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:24.640 like everyone's like. 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:28.600 Especially you see the person you think is right. Yeah, 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:29.760 it's like a pimple. 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:30.880 You like anything. 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:34.320 Yeah, that is too much of a coincidence. That's why 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.840 you are here together now. And that's why you said 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:38.720 y'all met in the gym. 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.760 Well because like, well, I mean we started saying up 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:43.600 to people because they just didn't get it. Now, like 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.080 when you said it, we immediately fixed it. We're like, listen, 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.520 this is we're almost fourteen years in. 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:49.879