Speaker 1: The following episode was recorded before the WGA sag Aftra
Speaker 1: strikes of twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: Most people have a memory of nine to eleven and
Speaker 2: where they were. I was in New York, being a
Speaker 2: New Yorker, and immediately went first to my daughter's school,
Speaker 2: and I was I think one of the first dads
Speaker 2: or maybe the first parent that showed up at school.
Speaker 2: And when they told Socy that I was there to
Speaker 2: pick her up, the look on her face was one
Speaker 2: of confusion, and even from a kid so young, uh,
Speaker 2: probably six or seven, she knew that something was a miss.
Speaker 2: Having to explain that to a little kid was pretty emotional,
Speaker 2: to say the least. There's a lot of things that
Speaker 2: that generation has experienced that can really take a toll
Speaker 2: on a child's mental health. And alex Dark, who is
Speaker 2: our guest today, actually was in school with my daughter
Speaker 2: at that very time. So it's kind of a good
Speaker 2: segue because now she is well out of school and
Speaker 2: focused on organizations that are giving our kids tools that
Speaker 2: they need to check in with their mental health. So
Speaker 2: lean in, listen up, I'm glad you're here. Here we
Speaker 2: are with Alexandra Didario. You know we do this silly thing,
Speaker 2: this dumb game that started many years ago called The
Speaker 2: Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon that doesn't seem to be
Speaker 2: going away. So one of the things, one of the
Speaker 2: things that we sometimes kick off with is seeing if
Speaker 2: there are any connections. But you know, I did a
Speaker 2: little research, and you and I have connections that you
Speaker 2: may not even know about.
Speaker 3: Oh really, Oh I'm excited.
Speaker 2: First off, the basic six Degrees connection is Logan Luherman, Yes,
Speaker 2: who I was in a movie with called My One
Speaker 2: and Only Yes. And I think the one and only
Speaker 2: person that saw the movie realized that we had that connection.
Speaker 2: But and but so that's a that's an easy you know, uh,
Speaker 2: that's an easy jump.
Speaker 3: I think you also worked with Jake Abel. Is that possible?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: What is also in the I'm not sure because we
Speaker 3: used to play this game, The Six Degrees of Kenna
Speaker 3: b Really.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: When it was when it first sort of there was
Speaker 3: like a you could type in someone's name. There was
Speaker 3: an I think it was on IMDb or something. There
Speaker 3: was some program and you could it would give you
Speaker 3: the six degrees. You didn't even have to look it up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well they have that. They have a thing now
Speaker 2: on IMDb where you can put connections in, and I
Speaker 2: use that all the time because you know, havn't been
Speaker 2: around as long as I have. If I go to work,
Speaker 2: let's say, doing a television series, and I look on
Speaker 2: the call sheet and there's you know, a whole bunch
Speaker 2: of names there. You know, I've met so many people
Speaker 2: that sometimes I just space out whether or not I
Speaker 2: know them. So I'll actually go on before my way
Speaker 2: to work and check and see so that I can
Speaker 2: say to somebody, I don't have to say nice to
Speaker 2: meet you, and then they go out, yeah, yeah, we
Speaker 2: actually met. So so you know that that actually and
Speaker 2: you know, this whole six degrees dot org thing and
Speaker 2: what we're you know, doing here with this podcast really
Speaker 2: is about connections. I mean, I do think that if
Speaker 2: you take me out of the game, that it really
Speaker 2: is an interesting kind of idea that people really are
Speaker 2: first off, that we are connected, and second off that
Speaker 2: that we're really hungry for those connections.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And so, speaking of which, my now correct me if
Speaker 2: I'm wrong, but you went to Brearley. Yes, okay, my
Speaker 2: mother in law, my wife, and my daughter all went
Speaker 2: to Brearley.
Speaker 3: I have a crazy story about this.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so you knew that. Maybe.
Speaker 3: Well, so when I was little at Brearley, because I'm
Speaker 3: a little bit older than your daughter, you came to
Speaker 3: tour the school.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: And I was so young, must have been like, I
Speaker 3: don't know, twelve or thirteen or something. But everyone started
Speaker 3: streaming about how this guy Kevin Bacon was at the
Speaker 3: school and a bunch of us started running around, leaving
Speaker 3: class and running around the stairwells.
Speaker 2: I think, wow, you know, that's really surprises me.
Speaker 3: The next well, the next day there was a big
Speaker 3: assembly held about how we needed to not do that
Speaker 3: and how it was not okay.
Speaker 2: Wow, it was a buzz kill? What a buzz kill?
Speaker 3: Well it wasn't like I think. It was like, look,
Speaker 3: there's a movie start coming to the school, and someone
Speaker 3: got really excited and then other people got excited a
Speaker 3: little bit of mob mentality. But I do remember that
Speaker 3: there was sort of a talk about it the next day,
Speaker 3: so I did know that your daughter went to the school.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to tell that story to both my
Speaker 2: mother in law and my wife and my daughter. I
Speaker 2: think they will all get a big, big kick out
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 3: So you never knew that. I know.
Speaker 2: No, of course no, I never knew. I never knew that,
Speaker 2: and I didn't I didn't until until I looked at
Speaker 2: your Wikipedia page. Frankly, I didn't know that you had gone.
Speaker 2: But I really do admire your work. I think you're
Speaker 2: absolutely fantastic. I'm so thrilled with the success that you've
Speaker 2: been having. I mean, you've been you've been at it
Speaker 2: for a long time. But you went to PCs S
Speaker 2: after Brierly, so you must have started acting. I'm guessing, yeah,
Speaker 2: pretty young age.
Speaker 3: I booked a soap opera and Breally I think was not.
Speaker 3: I think that it was. It wouldn't have worked to
Speaker 3: go and miss that much school, so PCs. So I
Speaker 3: transferred to PCs and it was really very easy. I
Speaker 3: just sort of called them. I was sixteen, so I
Speaker 3: went in.
Speaker 2: Exactly what happened to my wife, exactly what she booked
Speaker 2: the soap opera when she was sixteen. All then she
Speaker 2: didn't leave school, she didn't go to PCs, but she
Speaker 2: had exactly the same the exact same thing. Sixteen had
Speaker 2: to figure something out with school.
Speaker 3: So how did she what did she end up doing
Speaker 3: for school?
Speaker 2: Just cut school for you know, yeah, just went miss school.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't really know I should have done that, I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 2: But how was that PCs? But for people, know, that's
Speaker 2: a well you can describe it please.
Speaker 3: Well it's short for Professional Children's School. So it's a
Speaker 3: school for kids who are working. So the majority of
Speaker 3: people are actually ballet answers from the American School at
Speaker 3: LA or otherwise, and so there was a lot of that.
Speaker 3: There was some professional athletes, but it's people who can't
Speaker 3: be in school regularly, but you could still graduate, you know,
Speaker 3: on a normal schedule. So it's kind of when I
Speaker 3: was there, and I don't know, I'm getting older, so
Speaker 3: this was a long time ago. But when I was there,
Speaker 3: it was a little bit what you made of it.
Speaker 3: But they had a guided study program, so you could
Speaker 3: not attend school at all. As long as you turned
Speaker 3: in these assignments, you'd graduate on time. So that's what
Speaker 3: I ended up doing.
Speaker 2: Well, wow, that's a whole nother connection. By the way,
Speaker 2: I'm just I can't believe this, but you know, I
Speaker 2: started out on soaps. Which one were you on?
Speaker 3: All my children?
Speaker 2: All my children?
Speaker 3: Okay seasonally too?
Speaker 2: Uh huh, right, right, Were you related to Susan Lucy's character?
Speaker 3: No, I was Jay.
Speaker 2: I remember my girlfriend Chandler's girlfriend. Okay, yes, is j R.
Speaker 2: Chandler the name of the character or the name of
Speaker 2: the actor, the.
Speaker 3: Name of the character in all my children. The Chandler
Speaker 3: family was like a huge family, Like they were like
Speaker 3: the rich, you know, and all kinds of chaos happened
Speaker 3: with them. But I sort of came in as an
Speaker 3: ancillary character that they ended up. I'm keeping on for
Speaker 3: a year now.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this was your experience with the soaps,
Speaker 2: but I found that people it was my first little
Speaker 2: taste of like being recognized, you know, being like a
Speaker 2: public personality. But the difference was that everyone knew me
Speaker 2: as Tim. Like they would come up to me and
Speaker 2: they would not accept that I had another name and
Speaker 2: that I was an actor and I was playing Tim
Speaker 2: the teenage Alcoholics. So people would come up to me
Speaker 2: and say, listen, Tim, you gotta slow down with the drinking.
Speaker 2: You're making your upset and your mother he needs I
Speaker 2: think were your troubled girl on the soap where you
Speaker 2: were troubled? Did you? I mean, who doesn't have trouble.
Speaker 3: On a soap, that's right, But yeah, no, I was
Speaker 3: like the good I was a good girl who just
Speaker 3: wanted to go to school. But my father was an
Speaker 3: alcoholic and he wanted me to leave school or something
Speaker 3: I'm trying to remember incorrectly. And he didn't want me
Speaker 3: dating j R. Chandler because he was rich and they
Speaker 3: were too fancy, and I needed to stay with him
Speaker 3: and you know, live life the way that he wanted
Speaker 3: me to live it.
Speaker 2: Your father's name wasn't Tim, Tim by a chance? Was it? No? Maybe?
Speaker 2: So maybe there was a multiverse, that there was a
Speaker 2: multiverse of all my children in.
Speaker 3: The Guiding Light, the guy that I was going to
Speaker 3: ask which soap for you on?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the Guiding Light? I was also on the first
Speaker 2: soap I did was called Search for Tomorrow, which ended
Speaker 2: up mean it. It doesn't exist anymore, I don't think.
Speaker 2: But that was I just did like a summer arc
Speaker 2: on that. Let me ask you. People have always said
Speaker 2: to me, and I'm wondering what your response to this
Speaker 2: is that it was great. It's great. It's a great,
Speaker 2: great training ground. Did you feel that way? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I mean I I think I had all of what
Speaker 3: it took to be a good actor. I mean, I'm
Speaker 3: still acting, so, but I wasn't very good and I
Speaker 3: think a lot of that came from nerves and really
Speaker 3: just not knowing. But I also was quite shy. So
Speaker 3: there's also the element of going into work every day
Speaker 3: and working with people older than you and and so
Speaker 3: that's helpful. But yeah, I didn't know how to hit
Speaker 3: a mark or kiss a boy on screen, or find
Speaker 3: my light or where the camera was any of that.
Speaker 3: So and it helps you learn how to memorize lines.
Speaker 3: That was like, that's what every actor did, was well profession.
Speaker 2: Basic professionalism, right, you know, I mean just that you
Speaker 2: had to be there, you had to be there at
Speaker 2: a certain time, you had to know your lines, you
Speaker 2: had you know. Yeah, it does definitely. Yeah, it's funny
Speaker 2: you say the kissing the boy, because when I was
Speaker 2: on uh uh Search for Tomorrow, I was I was
Speaker 2: a little bit older, but I was playing younger and
Speaker 2: I was way past the first kiss portion of my
Speaker 2: wife and but the but the young lady who they
Speaker 2: paired me with for this summer romance, she was a
Speaker 2: regular on the show, was the whole summer was a
Speaker 2: build up to her first kiss to the character's first
Speaker 2: kiss right right, and according to her father, it was
Speaker 2: also her first kiss.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So it was a very I mean, I it
Speaker 2: made me. I don't know, I was, I was, I
Speaker 2: was uncomfortable with it. I mean for a lot of reasons.
Speaker 2: I just I understand strange.
Speaker 3: I mean, not a bad kissed for her story, but
Speaker 3: it is it was strange. I mean, it wasn't. I
Speaker 3: also have a strange audition story about, you know that
Speaker 3: kind of thing I had to audition. I think I've
Speaker 3: told this story before, but I had to audition for
Speaker 3: It was a Got Chocolate Milk ad. They were doing
Speaker 3: Got Chocolate milk instead of Got milk. So they brought
Speaker 3: a bunch of teenagers in and I I think it
Speaker 3: was before the soap, so I must have been like
Speaker 3: fifteen fourteen fifteen, and they would pair a girl and
Speaker 3: a boy up, and I remember everyone was waiting on
Speaker 3: two different benches and we were all like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: who's the person that we're going to have to do
Speaker 3: this with? Because the audition was that one of us
Speaker 3: had to put milk in our mouth and the other
Speaker 3: one had to put chocolate syrup in their mouth, and
Speaker 3: then we had to make out one then turned to
Speaker 3: the camera and go got chocolate milk.
Speaker 2: Whoa wait, like this was years ago. Pumped the brakes
Speaker 2: on that story. You don't never do that. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: you have. We have intimacy coordinators for for for for that.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's like a there's there's a full time
Speaker 2: job for that. Wow. That's and you were all teenagers, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so there was like a sort of teenage
Speaker 3: innocence about it. There was nothing. There was nothing. I mean,
Speaker 3: in retrospect, I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe.
Speaker 3: But there was also a thank for And I'd be
Speaker 3: curious if anyone else has a memory about diitioning for this.
Speaker 3: I haven't heard anyone talk about it. But there was
Speaker 3: a little bit of like, oh my god, I got
Speaker 3: to kiss a boy or kiss a girl. I think,
Speaker 3: a little bit but very strange audition.
Speaker 2: That's pretty weird. Now. Did they use the chocolate and
Speaker 2: the milk in the audition?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Wow? Wow? Mind blown mind.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they gave us like a little cup of milk
Speaker 3: or a little cup of chocolate syrup.
Speaker 2: Did you get the part?
Speaker 3: I did not, And I never saw the ads run.
Speaker 3: Maybe they figured out the audition process that it was
Speaker 3: way too bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think somebody, I think somebody looked at that
Speaker 2: and said, are you out of your mind?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were like, it's a great idea and concept,
Speaker 3: but then once we actually saw it really happened, No,
Speaker 3: we're not going to do it.
Speaker 2: We're not doing that, I don't think so I'm actually
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it. But later on tomorrow, right
Speaker 2: after Thanksgiving dinner, I'm gonna try that.
Speaker 3: And oh, that'll be great. See if you can, guys
Speaker 3: have a great time.
Speaker 2: Make chocolate milk that way. So, uh, I know you've
Speaker 2: probably talked about this and not well. First, before we
Speaker 2: get into white Lotus, I want to ask you. I
Speaker 2: was I was looking at your resume and I have
Speaker 2: to say that I have never seen Chainsaw Massacre in
Speaker 2: three D? That which number? What number was that?
Speaker 3: I don't know?
Speaker 2: Or is it only three D? Is they made a
Speaker 2: lot of three.
Speaker 3: D's, No, they only made one three D? Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean, with all due respect to everyone involved and myself,
Speaker 3: it was it was quite a it was look, I
Speaker 3: had a blast. It was a hard experience. The movie
Speaker 3: made a little money at the box office, but my
Speaker 3: husband actually produced The Chainsaw Massacre with Jessica Biale, and
Speaker 3: I think I would recommend that one over mine.
Speaker 2: That's very nice of you.
Speaker 3: So I've supported my husband's great I had a great
Speaker 3: time and I loved everyone I met on that on
Speaker 3: that movie.
Speaker 2: Now, now, uh so, if if I was I was
Speaker 2: wondering this about three D movies, they really only work
Speaker 2: in three D obviously if you're in the theater, right
Speaker 2: and you can't you can't get the little red and
Speaker 2: blue glasses and watch them at home.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I think there was this period of time.
Speaker 3: I don't I mean, I don't know what your experience
Speaker 3: was with this, but I was the types of movies
Speaker 3: I was doing at the time. There was like maybe
Speaker 3: a two or three maybe four year period where they
Speaker 3: were really like three D seemed to be the future,
Speaker 3: like everything wanted. They were doing a regular version in
Speaker 3: a three D version, and the issue was are you
Speaker 3: going to shoot it in three D or convert it afterwards?
Speaker 3: And Texas Chainsaw was one that we shot on three
Speaker 3: D cameras, which the technology wasn't as advanced, So we
Speaker 3: were shooting in summer in Louisiana, and the cameras would
Speaker 3: overheat and there were issues with that, and then there
Speaker 3: were other movies. I remember them discussing they were going
Speaker 3: to convert it and it didn't really pick up. Like
Speaker 3: the glasses sort of hurt every It hurt my eyes
Speaker 3: a little bit, but it was.
Speaker 2: A smell a vision. Yeah, never really took off. No,
Speaker 2: I saw. That was one of the first. I'm a
Speaker 2: horror buff. I mean, I'm surprised I never seen your
Speaker 2: Texas chain saw, but I mean, do they When I
Speaker 2: was a kid, I remember very well lying about my
Speaker 2: age in order to get into Vincent Price in House
Speaker 2: of Wax in three D, and it was one of
Speaker 2: the first scary movies. Probably the movie's not that scary
Speaker 2: if you looked at it now, but it was also
Speaker 2: the first three D movie that I'd ever seen, and
Speaker 2: it kind of like what they did back then, which
Speaker 2: I'm sure was not the case with your film, was it.
Speaker 2: If I remember correctly, The film kind of went along
Speaker 2: for a while and was in two D, and then
Speaker 2: all of a sudden they'd get to a certain scene
Speaker 2: like smoke or whatever. They thought then that would be
Speaker 2: just like a month that like maybe only three or
Speaker 2: four moments in the whole thing where it actually was
Speaker 2: full on three D because.
Speaker 3: It was kind of I can get this time that right,
Speaker 3: and I think then you get to rest your eyes
Speaker 3: a little little bit and then you get that moment
Speaker 3: that you're waiting for where you're like, WHOA, that's so cool.
Speaker 3: I actually prefer that idea. That's really cool. But yeah,
Speaker 3: the whole the whole thing being in three B. I
Speaker 3: guess it's cool. You get to see the chainsaw come
Speaker 3: at you and a raw Yeah. Yeah, it's a cool
Speaker 3: part that I got to be in. Like a couple
Speaker 3: of movies that they, you know, tried this three D thing, so.
Speaker 2: I I what over the other movies more three D?
Speaker 3: There was another one that I think was converted to
Speaker 3: three D. And then when there were three D, there
Speaker 3: were theaters that would show it in three D, but
Speaker 3: the majority would be two D.
Speaker 2: Got you.
Speaker 3: I forget which I actually forget which ones now that was?
Speaker 3: I don't I think San Andreas may have done it.
Speaker 3: I don't really remember. Okay, Texas chains I was the
Speaker 3: only one I shot on three D cameras?
Speaker 2: Do you think you mentioned earlier that year in New
Speaker 2: York and I moved to New York when I was
Speaker 2: seventeen and still live in New York. Do you think
Speaker 2: that it has informed you as an actor as a person,
Speaker 2: and if so, in what way? You know?
Speaker 3: I when I first moved to LA I was twenty three,
Speaker 3: and everyone I would take all these general meetings, and
Speaker 3: I remember everyone being like great from and being totally
Speaker 3: shocked when I said I was from New York City.
Speaker 2: Well, well you talk like this, like, hey, what are
Speaker 2: you doing walk? Yeah? I like that guy. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was quite timid and polite, and I think people
Speaker 3: thought I was going to come in and be like, hey,
Speaker 3: put me in a movie or whatever. And so I
Speaker 3: think that the ways that it made me tough are
Speaker 3: not like I think it. I mean, you grow up
Speaker 3: a little bit faster. I was so devoted to and
Speaker 3: I had acts to all. I don't think i'd be
Speaker 3: an act. I mean the acting classes I was able,
Speaker 3: the teachers and the people I got to meet and
Speaker 3: the things I got to learn were so amazing, and
Speaker 3: it gave me this incredible freedom at a really young
Speaker 3: age to be able to access anything that I needed
Speaker 3: to access. So I got it in my head I
Speaker 3: was going to be an actor, and that wasn't really what,
Speaker 3: you know, I don't have your family.
Speaker 2: Actors were there are artists and actors in your family.
Speaker 3: My parents are lawyers, so there's there's an art to that,
Speaker 3: I think, But but no, and I you know, I
Speaker 3: don't think that would have been my path. I think
Speaker 3: I was being steered in a different direction or by
Speaker 3: not just my parents. It was sort of everything. So
Speaker 3: the best thing about it was it made me very
Speaker 3: independent living in New York and and I could just
Speaker 3: pick up the phone and call and book an acting
Speaker 3: class and have access to all these amazing things and
Speaker 3: really figure out what it was I wanted to do
Speaker 3: at a young age, even though like acting, it seemed
Speaker 3: like actors were made in a lab, like movie stars
Speaker 3: were made in a lab, and it you know, wasn't really,
Speaker 3: but I just sort of I was able to, uh
Speaker 3: to figure it out.
Speaker 2: So you were in l A, and then you moved
Speaker 2: back to New York. You grew up in New York,
Speaker 2: then you moved to LA.
Speaker 3: Then you came back or you're back and I'm still
Speaker 3: living in LA. That's where I paid well place. Because
Speaker 3: you know, my husband's also from from well, he's from
Speaker 3: Long Island. My mom's out here and it just made
Speaker 3: sense for to have a place. So we go back
Speaker 3: and forth. But LA is like our main, main place.
Speaker 2: That's that's that's awesome. It took me a long time
Speaker 2: to get used to LA and now I really love it.
Speaker 2: But I was, I was. It took me many many
Speaker 2: years of saying, no, no, it's not for me, it's
Speaker 2: not for me, it's not for me. But it was
Speaker 2: just some kind of a idea that I had about
Speaker 2: it or something. I don't know. But but do you
Speaker 2: have it?
Speaker 3: How long was your stretch in LA.
Speaker 2: I've never lived in LA. I mean, I I'm sort
Speaker 2: of like the opposite of you. We finally got a
Speaker 2: place so that we wouldn't have to stay in hotels.
Speaker 2: But but you know, you add it all up between
Speaker 2: you know, the how the rented houses and the hotels
Speaker 2: and the years of you know, working out there, I
Speaker 2: would say I've spent years and years of my life
Speaker 2: cumulatively in LA. But my kids were my wife grew
Speaker 2: up in Manhattan, as you know, my kids were raised
Speaker 2: in New York, both of them living on LA. By
Speaker 2: the way, now that they've both made the switch, you know,
Speaker 2: I want to talk a little bit. I know you've
Speaker 2: probably talked ad nauseum about White Lotus, and I know
Speaker 2: that it's also a little weird, probably because now it's
Speaker 2: on and it's like a show that you're you're not on.
Speaker 2: But what fascinates me is you've been doing doing great
Speaker 2: work for a while and probably were well known. White
Speaker 2: Littles was one of those things that just kind of
Speaker 2: like like snapped everybody into the zeitgeist kind of thing,
Speaker 2: like that's a different sort of feeling, and especially with
Speaker 2: US coastal elites, like everybody was watching that show and
Speaker 2: everybody was super impressed with you and with that character
Speaker 2: and with the complexities of that show, but also of
Speaker 2: of her and of the relationship. So like aside, putting
Speaker 2: the industry aside, is it is it different the way
Speaker 2: that people start to relate to you when they when
Speaker 2: they see you, or or even family friends, the things
Speaker 2: that they want to talk about, because that was such
Speaker 2: a like just kind of sort of came out of
Speaker 2: nowhere in a way.
Speaker 3: You know, you are absolutely right. I I did have
Speaker 3: I was at for a long time and I've been
Speaker 3: doing this for a very long time. I was I
Speaker 3: was you know, I'd be like, but I you know,
Speaker 3: I've been in these movies that millions of people have seen,
Speaker 3: and I have fifteen million followers on Instagram, and I
Speaker 3: know I can act. I'm ready, and I feel good
Speaker 3: about where I'm at, and I've been doing the work,
Speaker 3: and I wouldn't be I felt like, you know, I
Speaker 3: wasn't really being considered for certain types of roles, and
Speaker 3: I wasn't getting auditions for certain things or but I
Speaker 3: just sort of kept flowing away and saying, you know,
Speaker 3: if they won't see me, I'll put something on tape.
Speaker 3: And and I always I always had hope, but I
Speaker 3: also love what I do so much. I was happy
Speaker 3: that I was a working actress and all of that,
Speaker 3: and then White Lotus happened during the pandemic. And it's
Speaker 3: funny because like you get so obsessed with something and
Speaker 3: you're like so focused on it and on achieving this
Speaker 3: certain goal. And the goal for me was I want
Speaker 3: to do certain types of work. I have an idea
Speaker 3: of the characters I want to play and the different
Speaker 3: the different types of people I want to work with,
Speaker 3: and I and the opportunity I want to have more opportunity.
Speaker 3: And then during the pandemic, I kind of was focused
Speaker 3: on other things and let that all go and that
Speaker 3: put this audition in a tape for for White Lotus
Speaker 3: and read for Mike and then got it. And then
Speaker 3: it was just it was like the thing I had
Speaker 3: been waiting for, but I hadn't. I wasn't expecting it
Speaker 3: at all. And yeah, it did change. It did change
Speaker 3: the opportunities I have and the way people see me,
Speaker 3: for sure. And it was exactly I mean, it just
Speaker 3: goes to show you this is a tough business. And
Speaker 3: I just I've always felt so grateful and the fact
Speaker 3: that I was able to show people that I could
Speaker 3: do something different is awesome.
Speaker 2: Well, you definitely did. And you also bring up an
Speaker 2: interesting point about this business that is hard to explain,
Speaker 2: and that is that, you know, you hear a lot
Speaker 2: of stories about how people you know, went in, climbed
Speaker 2: over the studio gate, dropped off of tape, you know,
Speaker 2: did a didn't you know, fought their way in or
Speaker 2: had a career plan or whatever, and sometimes these things
Speaker 2: just kind of drop out of the sky. It's like
Speaker 2: every once in a while, you know, there'll be something
Speaker 2: that'll that will come down the pike and you go, wow,
Speaker 2: I thought this wasn't in my plan, but this is
Speaker 2: like super cool. Uh So, I mean I think career
Speaker 2: planning sometimes can be a little bit of an oxymoron,
Speaker 2: except for the idea that you love it, which you said,
Speaker 2: and that you're going to hang in. You know that
Speaker 2: you're going to hang in through the slings and arrows
Speaker 2: of which we both know there are many moment yep, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask you about On Our Sleeves. You know,
Speaker 2: what we're doing here on this podcast is talking to
Speaker 2: cool people like you, famous people, celebrities across all kinds
Speaker 2: of different creative arts and sports and music who also
Speaker 2: have something that they're passionate about and have you know,
Speaker 2: some kind of cousets. I mean, so often people kind
Speaker 2: of look at us as overpaid buffoons who really don't
Speaker 2: care that much about the world, and so I'm just
Speaker 2: trying to was hoping to kind of highlight some people
Speaker 2: that actually do. And so you're connected to this organization
Speaker 2: On Our Sleeves. I just want to ask you about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So on our Sleeves and I've just started working
Speaker 3: with them. They I believe they were founded in twenty eighteen,
Speaker 3: so they are this incredibly they're full of excitement and
Speaker 3: passion for building the What they're doing getting word out
Speaker 3: and what they're doing is very relevant and I think
Speaker 3: also something that was needed even before the pandemic, but
Speaker 3: now there's more focus on mental health care and especially
Speaker 3: for children, and they sort of saw this whole in
Speaker 3: mental health care for prevention when you're very young, for
Speaker 3: young children, before you get to the point where it
Speaker 3: becomes more serious. How do you it's and it's also
Speaker 3: I really see it as helping adults as well talk
Speaker 3: to children. How do you talk to children? How do
Speaker 3: you support them if they can't have support at the
Speaker 3: home in the home, how can you help support educational
Speaker 3: facilities and schools, and how you talk to children and
Speaker 3: teach them to communicate deal with their emotions. Because I
Speaker 3: think a lot of the time you'll have people in
Speaker 3: positions of power who are dealing with kids with problems,
Speaker 3: so that you don't know how to recognize the issues
Speaker 3: or how to talk to them about it, or how
Speaker 3: to help. And when you're struggling and you want to help,
Speaker 3: this is an organization that you can call and get
Speaker 3: free resources to help support conversation with kids, help sort
Speaker 3: of identify issues a whole slew of things, and I
Speaker 3: just thought that was really brilliant. And someone from the
Speaker 3: organization said, you know, when she was a kid, it
Speaker 3: was like, you know, stop your crying or I'll give
Speaker 3: you something to cry about kind of thing, you know.
Speaker 3: And it's not that parents love their kids or wanted
Speaker 3: they just had a different way of disciplining or communicating
Speaker 3: or dealing with their own stuff. And now you know,
Speaker 3: it's like, how many times is a kid did someone
Speaker 3: sit you down and say, calm your body, how are
Speaker 3: you feeling? What's a better way to ask for that?
Speaker 3: All these different ways of communicating that help sort of
Speaker 3: mitigate I think, anxiety and depression as you grow up.
Speaker 1: If you are inspired by today's episode, please join us
Speaker 1: in supporting six degrees dot org by texting the word
Speaker 1: bacon to seven zero seven zero seven zero. Your gift
Speaker 1: empowers us to continue to produce programs that highlight the
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Speaker 2: Well, speaking of people that work there. I want to
Speaker 2: bring out doctor Arianajoet, the clinical director of our Sleeves.
Speaker 2: Thanks for coming out to the podcast with us. Alex
Speaker 2: was explaining some of what you do. How did the
Speaker 2: two of you find each other? How did this relationship begin?
Speaker 4: Oh, that's a great question, Bill Goldman. Joel connected us. So.
Speaker 4: Joel joined the Honor Sleeves team this year and he's
Speaker 4: really been instrumental in connecting us to people like Alex.
Speaker 4: And Alex and I met through Instagram live when we
Speaker 4: talked about the topic of bullying and so it was
Speaker 4: really cool to meet Alex and talk about the impacts
Speaker 4: of bullying and mental health and children.
Speaker 2: And what is your what is your history? Uh? Doctor hood? What? What? What? What?
Speaker 2: How did you get?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: First off, what kind of doctor are you?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 4: So, I'm a pediatric psychologist. I work in primary care.
Speaker 4: So it's a unique role in that I get to
Speaker 4: be in the office of pediatrician. And so when families
Speaker 4: come to their doctor to take their kid for their physical,
Speaker 4: their well visits, any questions they have about their development, behavior,
Speaker 4: mental health, I'm there and I see them that day,
Speaker 4: which in a time right now where we know there's
Speaker 4: long wait lists and access is difficult to mental health professionals.
Speaker 4: It's really cool to be able to meet families when
Speaker 4: the question arises, and I join the Honor Sleaves team
Speaker 4: in January. So my role as clinical directors making sure
Speaker 4: that all the resources we are putting out there are
Speaker 4: based on science and evidence and the things that we
Speaker 4: know to really help children in their mental health.
Speaker 2: And was there something in your life that specifically sent
Speaker 2: you down this path both of becoming a pediatrician but
Speaker 2: also medicine and then working with children and then more
Speaker 2: specifically with mental health within that, did you what's your
Speaker 2: how do you feel personally about the work that you do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's interesting because I recently had someone ask me like,
Speaker 4: when did you decide to become a psychologist?
Speaker 3: And I don't know.
Speaker 4: I started right away an undergrad as a psychology and
Speaker 4: kind of followed along. But where I am right now
Speaker 4: in terms of working in primary care, working with on
Speaker 4: our sleeves. Really, I'm an immigrant. I moved to the
Speaker 4: US when I was in high school and that impacted
Speaker 4: my mental health to be in the middle of high
Speaker 4: school and moved to a brand new country and figuring
Speaker 4: out where I fit and so it's really important for
Speaker 4: me to get the information to the people that needed
Speaker 4: the most. And in my training I realized, you know,
Speaker 4: as psychologists were publishing in peer review journals and going
Speaker 4: to these academic conferences, but we're preaching to the choir,
Speaker 4: we're talking to other people in the field and so
Speaker 4: on our Sleeves was exciting to me because it allows
Speaker 4: us to talk to the community, talk to the parents,
Speaker 4: the teachers, the coaches, and that's the people that need
Speaker 4: to hear the information. So it was a very easy decision.
Speaker 2: And explain to me, what's your description of the mission
Speaker 2: of on our Sleeves?
Speaker 4: Sure, so, we really our goal is to get the
Speaker 4: free resources that we create to every.
Speaker 3: Community in the US.
Speaker 4: And we mean community as the diverse communities that need
Speaker 4: are resources, but also the kind of communities the adults
Speaker 4: that reach kids, so again, the schools, the teachers, the coaches,
Speaker 4: the families.
Speaker 3: And the neighbors.
Speaker 4: Really, if you're an adult with a child in your life,
Speaker 4: we want to get these resources to you and help
Speaker 4: you support the mental health of the children in your life.
Speaker 2: That's awesome. That sounds like really good, good work. Are
Speaker 2: there any specific initiatives that the that you can explain
Speaker 2: to us they're happening right now.
Speaker 4: Sure, So right now we launched it. May we launch
Speaker 4: Operation and Conversation, and that has been really fun because
Speaker 4: it's been all about getting people, adults again to talk
Speaker 4: to the children in their lives, building the habits of
Speaker 4: conversation with kids, and not just waiting until you're worried
Speaker 4: about them, but really doing it every day so that
Speaker 4: it builds a healthy relationship with the kids. It's normal
Speaker 4: to talk to each other and that way, if you
Speaker 4: are ever worried, it doesn't feel awkward to bring it up.
Speaker 4: So we have resources. Oh, go ahead.
Speaker 2: Is it a guidebook I mean, or a video or
Speaker 2: how do you I mean? I want that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, So on our website at on our sleeve dot org.
Speaker 4: We've got kind of a step by step First, how
Speaker 4: to start the conversation, Then how do I react, how
Speaker 4: do I keep it going? How do I respond in
Speaker 4: a way that feels good to the child? And then
Speaker 4: if I do have concerns, how do I set boundaries
Speaker 4: or give advice in a way that they'll listen. We
Speaker 4: also have these fun conversations starter that Alex actually was
Speaker 4: the drive behind us really putting them out there, and
Speaker 4: so on our website you can get a fun little
Speaker 4: deck that that you can use at dinner time, for example,
Speaker 4: with a lot of different questions to ask children to
Speaker 4: get them talking.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny you mentioned dinner. We that was
Speaker 2: something that we really pounded the table on, which was
Speaker 2: we're having dinner together and there will be no devices.
Speaker 2: I mean, although my kids were actually pre where we're
Speaker 2: at right now, you know, I mean that they were
Speaker 2: young enough so that it wasn't a part of their lives,
Speaker 2: but my wife and I did. We'd put them down
Speaker 2: and we would have conversations and it didn't even it
Speaker 2: wasn't even a question that it hasn't necessarily be heavy.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it was, but just you know, just to be
Speaker 2: able to talk. Let me ask you something, Alex. You know,
Speaker 2: I think about your little little bit older than associate
Speaker 2: than my kid, you know, but I think about this generation,
Speaker 2: your generation, and yeah, there was some stuff going on
Speaker 2: in the world for sure that was super traumatic when
Speaker 2: I was a kid, and you know, growing up in
Speaker 2: the in a city where there was you know, violence
Speaker 2: and uh, you know, looking at the at the Vietnam
Speaker 2: War for instance, from a distance, not to mention. You know,
Speaker 2: people have individual trauma that happens with with their own
Speaker 2: lives and their family situations, or or you know, the
Speaker 2: trauma that comes from income insecurity or food insecurity. But
Speaker 2: starting with nine to eleven, it just seems like this
Speaker 2: generation has just had one really tough thing after another
Speaker 2: to deal with and right up to now. And I
Speaker 2: think about those kids who are you know, my kids
Speaker 2: were old enough, and even for them it was traumatic.
Speaker 2: But just to be right, you know, if you're eight
Speaker 2: or thirteen and the pandemic hits and your life just
Speaker 2: shuts down in such a profound way, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just feel like there's so many, so many more
Speaker 2: challenges to our emotional stability, to children's emotional stability than
Speaker 2: there used to be.
Speaker 3: Yes, I agree with that, and I also think, you know,
Speaker 3: the obvious one too is the Internet and the accessibility
Speaker 3: to bullying. And there's amazing I mean, the positive thing
Speaker 3: about it is you have access to information and all that,
Speaker 3: But then that for a child who is not emotionally
Speaker 3: mature enough, they're almost being forced to become kids are
Speaker 3: almost becoming forced to become more emotionally mature than they
Speaker 3: should be. For their age because of what they have
Speaker 3: to deal with.
Speaker 2: And it's sort of they can't be kids for very long.
Speaker 3: I mean, I see it, and I just think that
Speaker 3: the things that they have to deal with with the
Speaker 3: Internet and with obviously the information that's coming the global
Speaker 3: warming news and this constant doomsday sort of with no
Speaker 3: one taking action. There's a lot of that, and I
Speaker 3: think it's Look, there have been very difficult times for people,
Speaker 3: and there are people who, like you said, have all
Speaker 3: kinds of personal trauma, and but it does force kids
Speaker 3: to learn how to process. They have to learn how
Speaker 3: to process information and have these bigger discussions at an
Speaker 3: earlier age than maybe they would normally. So it's a
Speaker 3: tough thing and I think adults are navigating that. And
Speaker 3: also this entire generation is are we're raising kids in
Speaker 3: a world that's so different than how we were raised.
Speaker 3: We didn't have this kind of thing. We didn't have Instagram,
Speaker 3: We don't we can't really relate. I don't think you
Speaker 3: can understand exactly what's going on. So there's you know,
Speaker 3: you want to set the next generation up for success
Speaker 3: in raising the next generation right, and they may have
Speaker 3: better understanding of who knows how the world will change,
Speaker 3: but a lot of it is so baffling. I can't
Speaker 3: even imagine, you know, my step kids dealing with the
Speaker 3: Internet the way that they do already, you know, a
Speaker 3: young age, and they're not even teenagers yet. So I
Speaker 3: just think it's it's very important to sort of figure
Speaker 3: out how can we how can we teach kids to
Speaker 3: process this information differently and learn how to be kind,
Speaker 3: dur and sort of go against their innate instincts as
Speaker 3: kids to be a little bit mean, Like I don't
Speaker 3: know why. It's sort of human nature or something. As
Speaker 3: you figure out social power constructs or whatever it is.
Speaker 3: We're just talking about bullying, but it can get out
Speaker 3: of control too quickly, So you have to teach kids
Speaker 3: how to think about these things differently.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, I think I'm.
Speaker 3: Sure, Doctor Howad has more insight into this.
Speaker 2: Well, Doctor HOAt, do you have a Have you seen
Speaker 2: an increased need for this kind of work since since
Speaker 2: the pandemic or at least over the last few years,
Speaker 2: I mean, school shootings, et cetera.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I mean I think what's hard is that even
Speaker 4: before the pandemic, the CDC released a study between twenty
Speaker 4: nine and twenty nineteen, So right before the pandemic, we
Speaker 4: were already seeing an increase in depression, blessness, suicidal thoughts
Speaker 4: and behaviors. And then the pandemic happened and it absolutely
Speaker 4: made that worse, But we were already trending towards that crisis.
Speaker 4: And it's a lot of factors. It's everything you all
Speaker 4: are talking about, right, It's growing up is hard, and
Speaker 4: kids are experiencing stressors while trying to find their identity
Speaker 4: and then they're accessing this information and their brain isn't developed.
Speaker 4: I mean, our brain's so fully developed till we're twenty five.
Speaker 4: So how do we truly comprehend what we're reading and
Speaker 4: what we're being exposed to if our brain can't truly
Speaker 4: do that? So yeah, parenting and family relationships and social
Speaker 4: connections is what helps it. That's what gets children through
Speaker 4: is being able to have those healthy conversations with their
Speaker 4: family members to help them understand what they're consuming.
Speaker 2: Well, this is fantastic this work that you guys are doing.
Speaker 2: Can you please tell us how people can get involved
Speaker 2: with on our sleeves, whether it's uh, you know, volunteering, donating,
Speaker 2: what what? What? How can how can people help out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so people can access all of our resources for
Speaker 4: free and on our sleeves dot org. You want to advocate,
Speaker 4: you there, we have a whole section on advocacy. How
Speaker 4: do you advocate? How do you talk about mental health?
Speaker 4: How do you talk about it in the workplace and
Speaker 4: your neighborhoods? And then you can follow us on our
Speaker 4: socials and spread the words, spread the message of what
Speaker 4: we're doing in our resources. We want to reach as
Speaker 4: many people as possible. And then, of course we are free,
Speaker 4: so if you would like to donate, we always appreciate
Speaker 4: that because that's the only way that we can stay
Speaker 4: free and make sure that anyone can access our resources.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you. You've both been very very generous to
Speaker 2: come on and talk about this. Alex, maybe we'll, you know,
Speaker 2: work together someday, you never know. And uh, doctor Howat
Speaker 2: I love the work that you're doing, both of you,
Speaker 2: so thank you. Thank you guys so much for being here,
Speaker 2: and keep up the good work.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, see.
Speaker 2: You down the road.
Speaker 5: Hey, guys, thanks for listening to another episode of six Degree. Okay,
Speaker 5: so if you want to learn more about on our
Speaker 5: Sleeves and all the work that they're up to head
Speaker 5: straight to their website onoursleeves dot org.
Speaker 2: On our sleeves dot org, plus, you can find all
Speaker 2: the links in our show notes.
Speaker 5: I know I've said this before, but if you like
Speaker 5: what you're here, make sure you subscribe to the show
Speaker 5: and tune in to the rest of our episodes.
Speaker 2: You can find Six Degrees with Kevin Bacon on the
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2: See you next time, Yeah,