1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to step 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: I've never told your production of I Heeart Radio. Okay, y'all, 3 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: just at the very beginning of this episode. I'm sure 4 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: if you've read the title, you kind of already know, 5 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: but I just want to give a heads up of 6 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 1: content warning here. I know when it comes to fertility, pregnancy, 7 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: and any of the such, this topic can get really 8 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,279 Speaker 1: controversial as well as can be really sensitive. So if 9 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: you're not in a good place to talk about the 10 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: ins and outs of surgacy or the small bits of 11 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: surgacy that we are learning about, I guess you may 12 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 1: want to skip this one because, like I said, I know, 13 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: when it comes to conversations about pregnancy or loss of pregnancy, 14 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: it hurts. So go ahead and put this at the 15 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: very top, move on through, listen to the next one. 16 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: It might be more fun. It might be going to 17 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: what you choose to bet. Yeah, you never know. With us, 18 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: we know this. So when it comes to surrogacy in 19 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: the world of surrogates, I'm gonna be really honest. I 20 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,839 Speaker 1: know very little about it. I will say the things 21 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: that I know. More So, when it comes to children 22 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 1: and having children, it pertains to adoption foster care, and 23 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 1: that's a whole other episode we're gonna talking about one 24 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: day because it's a lot of ins and out. There's 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: a lot of controversy coming out of that, which has 26 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: always been so, but there's more light on it today 27 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: and I'm glad to see it. But when it comes 28 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: to surregacy, I don't know much. And after having a 29 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 1: couple of conversations about the option of surgacy and the 30 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,119 Speaker 1: details behind it, I became curious. Uh. I do know 31 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: some people and some friends who have either gone through 32 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: it or talking about it as an option, and I've 33 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: never really contemplated what that would look like, and so 34 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: I got a little curious. I was like, any have 35 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: we talked about this? Because we need to talk about this, 36 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: And because of that, you wanted to discuss some of 37 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: the conversations, statistics and even the controversy is surrounding the topic, 38 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: and there's a lot more than I thought. I guess 39 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: I should have known because I'm not in that world. 40 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: There's a lot And to put this at the top, 41 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 1: the opinions and information of surgacy seems pretty heavily biased, 42 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: to the point that a majority of the information is 43 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: trying to either persuade you to consider this as a 44 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 1: commercial option and we'll talk about that, or dissuade you 45 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: in order to promote adoption or preservation of heritage. And 46 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: we're not gonna talk too much about what that means, 47 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 1: but yeah, it's it should put a red flag for 48 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: you just hearing that term heritage to me, And yeah, 49 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: I think again when it comes down to it, the 50 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: organization in itself, we don't really talk about the surrogacy agencies, 51 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: but it seems to be a multibillion dollar thing as well, 52 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: So keep that in the back of your head. Yeah. Yeah, 53 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: just like you, Samantha, this was I was familiar with 54 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: the subject and as I told you, when I was younger, 55 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 1: I offer to potentially be a surrogate for a friend 56 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: of mine. I didn't go much beyond like we talked 57 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: about it, but I didn't get much beyond that. So 58 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: this is a lot of new information for me as well. 59 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: And this option in being able to use a surrogate, 60 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: whether commercially commercial surrogate or an altruistic surrogate, is fairly 61 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: new and in some states still considered illegal. And because 62 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: of this, the standards do vary from each state, which 63 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: seems fairly similar to that the standards of abortion not 64 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: just as morally objected to, though again it is still 65 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: somewhat morally judged, just not at the same level that 66 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: abortion is right. And so with that we are learning. 67 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: So we're gonna go ahead and put this here where 68 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: we are learning with you. And just because we may 69 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: say a statement or let you know of a statistic 70 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: or an opinion, that doesn't mean that's our opinion necessarily. 71 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: We're just trying to kind of even out what's being said, 72 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: because again, this is the things that you get hit 73 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: with and as we've talked about before, where it comes 74 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: to stati sticks, when it comes to theories, a lot 75 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: of it is biased no matter what, and trying to 76 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: get down to the nitty gritty, very limited, very limited, 77 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: And like I said, you have a lot of options 78 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: out there when you google it, but when you see 79 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: where it comes from, you're like, oh okay, m yeah yeah. 80 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,920 Speaker 1: And as always, if there are listeners out there that 81 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: can illuminate this topic, we would absolutely love to hear 82 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: from you. But what you just did, Savantha, felt very 83 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: much like when you start to watch a DVD and 84 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: there's that note that's like, please be aware the comments. 85 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:44,359 Speaker 1: It's not necessarily reflect right, our opinions. It's kind of 86 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: like other people's twitters, like retweeted endorsement, same thing, same thing, 87 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 1: the same thing. All right, So before we start, let's 88 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: do some definitions. So for surrogacy, as to find in 89 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 1: Mirriam Webster, it is practice of serving as a surrogate mother. 90 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 1: According to surrogate dot com, it is the practice by 91 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,039 Speaker 1: which a woman becomes pregnant and gives birth to a 92 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: baby in order to give it to someone who cannot 93 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: have children. And within those definitions are several types of surrogacy, 94 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: including traditional. This type of surrogacy is when the curroguits 95 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: egg is used, which makes the surroguit the biological mother. 96 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 1: There's gestational and this is when the circuit has no 97 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: biological link to the baby. And then there is commercial. 98 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,279 Speaker 1: This is referring to a surrogacy arrangement where the surrogate 99 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: is compensated for service beyond just the medical cost. And 100 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: this type is typically the most controversial correct um. And 101 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,480 Speaker 1: then there's altruistic or I've also seen it as stated 102 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: as compassionate, and this is typically referring to when a 103 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 1: suraga as someone who is not compensated outside of the 104 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,479 Speaker 1: medical cost, and it is usually someone that the family knows, 105 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: like a friend or family member. Annie, I'm guessing if 106 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: you had gone, it would have been altruistic because it 107 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: was a friend that they knew. And even though this 108 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 1: term is kind of referring to the compassionate again or 109 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,919 Speaker 1: altruistic meaning I'm doing it at the goodness of my 110 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,839 Speaker 1: heart to help someone, that does not mean that those 111 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 1: who are compensated or commercial is not altruistic and its 112 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 1: meaning or the reason behind it. And a lot of 113 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: the articles that I've read for women who say why 114 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: I became a surrogate, UM, do say that I wanted 115 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 1: to help other women. So I do want to put 116 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: that as a caveat. We are not saying just because 117 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: it's commercial, but it's not from the goodness of the 118 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: one's heart. Yes, right there. Um. And then when we 119 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 1: talk about agency, we're talking about segacy agencies. Uh. This 120 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: is when a person goes through an agency or an 121 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: organization for their segacy needs and services, and that could 122 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:51,160 Speaker 1: include things like matching and screening, counseling, support services, and 123 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: case management within and some of them I think also 124 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: do legal stuff because in different stays you have to 125 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: go through an adoption process to make it legal. So 126 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: lot of things, yes, a lot of things. And then 127 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,160 Speaker 1: there's independent also known as private surrogacy, and this is 128 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: an arrangement made between the intended parent and surrogate without 129 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 1: the assistance from an agency. Then there's identified and this 130 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: is when the surrogate is already found before any services 131 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: our agencies are used. So oftentimes it's linked to altruistic 132 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: are compassionate surrogacy. So what does this process look like? 133 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: And we're not going to go into the ins and outs, 134 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: although we probably should. I don't know any Have we 135 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: done an episode in vitual fertilization, you and I have not, 136 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: past host I believe have, but I'm sure we could 137 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: revisit it because those kinds of things are changing all 138 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: the time all the time. Yes, reproductive technology has changed drastically, 139 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: so for this process, in a gestational surgacy, the process 140 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: of in vitro fertilization or IVF is used. Again, gestational 141 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: is having to use someone else's egg, remember that, or 142 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 1: the into parents ex So I said, that's not the surrogates. 143 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: So the embryo is created in the lab and will 144 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: be transferred to the saracus uterus. Again, there's no genetic 145 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: connection for the SAG and the embryo, and a week 146 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: after the embryo transfers, the doctor measures the pregnancy hormones 147 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: to see the progress of the procedure. And again it's 148 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: not uncommon for multiple transfers to take place before one 149 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: is actually successful, which is also why there's a higher 150 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: number of twins or multiple children in birds, because that's 151 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: kind of a pick and choose kind of thing for 152 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 1: invitual fertilization. But again, this is a very brief explanation 153 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,559 Speaker 1: about what's going on. It's a whole procedure. I know this. 154 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: There's hormones involved, there's weeks and days of doctor's appointment, 155 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: all of that. But just kind of putting that out there, 156 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: it was kind of like a short review. Yes, and 157 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: some of you have written in about this process and 158 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 1: we really really appreciate all of you taking the time. 159 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 1: We do have some statistics, although finding statistics for surrogacy 160 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,959 Speaker 1: is difficult, which is not that surprising since it's pretty 161 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 1: controversial still, which we are going to get into for sure. Um, 162 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 1: but there are a few numbers we do know. According 163 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 1: to the CDC, between two percent or almost a thirty 164 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: one thousand of all assisted reproductive technology cycles are a 165 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 1: r T used to gestational surrogate, and the numbers more 166 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:41,079 Speaker 1: than doubled in from from one percent to two point 167 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: five per cent. Yeah, I thought those numbers were interesting, 168 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 1: especially because it still looks so low in comparison to 169 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: I was not able to find anything past. So I 170 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: found that interesting because it's been what eight years, Yeah, 171 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: it sure has, it sure has. There are some things 172 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 1: that you're like, certainly someone's been keeping traffices and then I, 173 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 1: you know, shame on me every time, like nope, I 174 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: guess not, or they're not publishing them anyway. And within 175 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: these numbers there were at least eighteen thousand, four hundred 176 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 1: berths and random fact, yes, fifty three of those were twins. 177 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,959 Speaker 1: Triplets are higher order multiples, and most of the carriers 178 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: were less than thirty five years old, as it is 179 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: more of a risk for later ages as you get older, right, 180 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 1: and according to one article, the number of circuits have 181 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: decreased greatly This year. One agency reported that pre pandemic 182 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,439 Speaker 1: way time for intended parents who the parents who are 183 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: trying to seek a surrogate was estimated from three to 184 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: four months, which changed to one to two months during 185 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: the actual quarantine or the pandemic times um and now 186 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:54,439 Speaker 1: has changed to eight months or longer. One agency stated 187 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: that their numbers showed a sixty decrease of surrogates from 188 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: previous years. Also, there's a conversation about vaccinated versus not vaccinated, 189 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,559 Speaker 1: and it's a completely interesting conversation to the fact that, 190 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: as they said, there's more likely that they want vaccinated surrogates, 191 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: but the ones who are asking for non vaccinated have 192 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: a longer wait time because yeah, we are pro vacs here. 193 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: So if you're very upset by that statement, you should 194 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 1: move on. But if I found that interesting as well 195 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: as the fact that they were trying to find reasons 196 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: as to why the decrease has happened. And many people 197 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 1: are talking about illnesses and just quarantine, taking time for 198 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: themselves or not wanting to come out to meet new people. 199 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: And I've I've heard of people talking about how they 200 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: thought they had one and then things happened, whether illnesses 201 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: or deaths in the family, which we know is people 202 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 1: have been pretty rocked last year with a lot of deaths, 203 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: so that's kind of possibly why these numbers have decreased 204 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: so vastly. Yeah, And I know for me and a 205 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: lot of friends, and I believe, including you Smitha, like I, 206 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: there are things met clear I wanted to get done 207 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 1: that I just don't want to get done during a pandemic. 208 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: So I just put off all of these things that 209 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 1: I keep thinking, like, hopefully it'll be done soon and 210 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: I can go fix this, so I can go check 211 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: this out, and it keeps going going take care of yourselves, everybody. 212 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: So we also wanted to get into some of the 213 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: legalities of surrogacy and surrogates, because when it comes to 214 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,680 Speaker 1: laws and regulations, there's a lot going on. There's a 215 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: lot to consider. In the US, the American Society for 216 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 1: Reproductive Medicine requires surguates to be between the ages of 217 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: twenty one and forties three, to have had at least 218 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: one full term healthy pregnancy and delivery, but no more 219 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: than five. But it does go beyond just simple regulations. 220 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 1: It's something that is defined and watched closely state by state. 221 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: There's apparently no federal mandates to it. So I believe 222 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: even though we do have that regulation by the A 223 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,719 Speaker 1: s r M. There's no actual at ural mandates, and 224 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,959 Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about a specific Supreme Court case that 225 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: really didn't change much though it seems the biggest role 226 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 1: for federal level is to just not address it, and 227 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: that's what a lot of the articles said. There's like 228 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: we're just going to pretend like it's not here. However, 229 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: internationally it has been addressed into, including the fact we've 230 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 1: been talking about India a little bit, who banned the 231 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,360 Speaker 1: practice in But back to the States, a few states 232 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: have very strict laws, especially when it comes to commercial surgacies. Louisiana, Michigan, 233 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: and Nebraska have very limited, if not completely outlawed, any 234 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: practice of compensated surregacy, and even goes as far as 235 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: banning named parents on birth certificates, so literally saying these 236 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: intended parents can't be on there. So I think we've 237 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: talked about this before, but when it comes to child 238 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: support birth certificates, there's a lot of like loose ends 239 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 1: and a lot of question marks when it comes to 240 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 1: legitimacy and parents and parentification. So this is one of 241 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 1: those big things that you really have to look into. 242 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: So yeah, and it affects you if you're not biological. 243 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: So if the father is using his own sperm to 244 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 1: impregnate the egg, then maybe he can actually sign off 245 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 1: because it is biologically genetically his, but the mother may 246 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: not be able to um. And there are some exceptions 247 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 1: for this, but most of those exceptions are for those 248 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: who are in heterosexual marriages, which is not surprising, and 249 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: that specifically Louisy, And it seems to be the most 250 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: strict that I've seen in the States, but I could 251 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 1: be wrong, because you know, I didn't click on every state. 252 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: There is a website we can direct you too, because 253 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: they're very good at showing what's allowed and what's not. 254 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 1: But I was like, wow, that is really specific. And 255 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: then those few states that have very strict statutes or 256 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: laws and have a lot of limitation when it comes 257 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 1: to segacy, And if you're considering UH segacy as an option, 258 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: you may want to take a deeper look, especially if 259 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 1: you live in Arizona, Indiana, Idaho. New York, although they 260 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: have changed, they did, I believe allow for practice and 261 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: they definitely allow for ultra whist I UH surrogacy, But 262 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: I think New York lifted their band that could be wrong. Uh, Tennessee, Virginia, 263 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 1: and Wyoming are some of the more stricter practices, So 264 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: you might want to go and click and see what's 265 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: specifically happening in your area for sure. And one of 266 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 1: the big caveats and some of these laws and regulations 267 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: is the right of the surrogate themselves. Several states who 268 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,640 Speaker 1: not enforce the contracts and so these agreements can be void, 269 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: which can cause a lot of drama for people, as 270 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: in fact, a famous case referred to as Baby m 271 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: Case when all the way up to the Supreme Court, 272 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: and yes, had a big effect in the world of surrogacy. 273 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: But we will get to that in a bit. And 274 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: because of these guidelines and different regulations, parental rights are 275 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: not necessarily guaranteed for surrogacy. Some states require one to 276 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: pass the adoption proceedings for legal custody are a quote 277 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: declaration of parentage before birth. Either way, many recommend hiring 278 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: reproductive right lawyers. There's planning out there apparently again. Wow, 279 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: and from what I understood, there at least over a 280 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: hundred surgacy agencies, which is still a lot less than 281 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 1: I expected, uh, to be honest, because they also work 282 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: internationally from what I understand, and seemingly a lot of 283 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 1: people who are looking for segacy will come to the 284 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: US to actually get the procedure done. So I found 285 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: that fascinating as it's still very limited here as well. 286 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 1: Um So let's talk about why people look at segacy 287 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: as an option. And it's not so unheard of for 288 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: families and individuals to start talking about all of their 289 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: options when it comes to children. And we've talked about 290 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 1: it previously, whether it's something we thought we would do 291 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: myself have children, you know, or still contemplating whether it's 292 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: something we want to do. Of course, as I get older, 293 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 1: the decision feels like it's no longer a choice. Yeah, 294 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: it's starting to get a little harder, and I'm starting 295 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: to contemplate maybe I want to do something like this, 296 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: even though again, adoption is something that is an option 297 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: that I would consider, but a lot of people don't. 298 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: And again we've talked about the many implications and adoptions 299 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 1: and a little complications as well, so that might not 300 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: be something that they want. But let's talk about the why. Yes, 301 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 1: let us talk about the why. So some of the 302 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: reasons include infertility and that's probably one of the biggest 303 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 1: for people who are looking at surrogacy as an option UM. 304 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: And when we say infertility, we were talking about the 305 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: CDC definition, which is not being able to get pregnant 306 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,639 Speaker 1: conceive after one year or longer of unprotected sex. And 307 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: if the person is aged thirty five or older, they 308 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: may consider treatment for infertility if they are unable to 309 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: get pregnant after six months of unprotected sex. And so 310 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 1: for my friend who we were discussing this with, this 311 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,959 Speaker 1: is what she was struggling with and she was thinking 312 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:57,640 Speaker 1: about options. And according to the CDC and very heteronormative language, 313 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: this is fairly common. About ex percent of married women 314 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,880 Speaker 1: ages fifteen to forty four are considered infertile, and about 315 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: twelve percent of women that same age have difficulty getting pregnant, 316 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,200 Speaker 1: are being able to carry full term or that's also 317 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: known as impaired fecundity, and then there are same sex couples. 318 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,679 Speaker 1: And of course one of the controversy comes from the 319 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: fact that the LGBTQ plus community continues to have to 320 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 1: fight for any rights whatsoever, and that includes being able 321 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: to have the family they dripped of UM and in 322 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 1: course includes being able to use a surrogacy as an option, 323 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 1: and we're gonna talk a little bit more about it 324 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: in the controversial states, especially when it comes to gay men. 325 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,399 Speaker 1: And yeah, this is what we're mainly talking about when 326 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: we talk about gay men hiring a surrogate. Just that 327 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 1: option and using surrogates has gained some popularity, Yeah, a 328 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:48,920 Speaker 1: lot of popularity with the gay community, but there continues 329 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,959 Speaker 1: to be a lot of red tape that gay caubles 330 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,479 Speaker 1: have to go through to be able to do so 331 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 1: in many of the states. Of course, this is just 332 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 1: as complicated as adoption, as many of the states have 333 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: decided to outlaw that as well. And uh, gay couples 334 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,719 Speaker 1: from adopting and being able to have rights to children 335 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: to be able to be parents in general, which is 336 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: horrific to me and heartbreaking. Um, However, the statistics show 337 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 1: that number of you been using sergacy has gone ups 338 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: for those who are able to, and has gone upout 339 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 1: fifty pc from and yeah, there are nonprofits that help 340 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: gay men go through the process of surrogacy to be 341 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,400 Speaker 1: able to have the family that they want. And because 342 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,919 Speaker 1: infertility effects men as well, many organizations are looking to 343 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,640 Speaker 1: ensure that men are able to be covered by insurance 344 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 1: for fertility treatment and testing, as some will often deny 345 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:42,920 Speaker 1: those who are not in a heterosexual marriage. But that's 346 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 1: not all. They are also looking for a way of 347 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 1: getting affordable coverage for those who are seeking to start 348 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: their family, as the process can cost anywhere from one 349 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars to two hundred thousand dollars, with the 350 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 1: commercial circuits being compensated anywhere from twenty two thousand to 351 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: twenty five tho dollars right, and those numbers the compensation 352 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 1: part for the surrogates are the U S numbers because 353 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: it's significant lower outside of the US, not surprisingly, but 354 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: the the actual process for the agencies are about that price. 355 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: I did see one place is that maybe it's twenty 356 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 1: two thousand that it starts there. I don't know where 357 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 1: that is because in the US it's showing a hundred 358 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: thousand as the beginning price. So another reason for this 359 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: maybe aging or just singleness. So I put these into 360 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: one category because I think that a lot of women 361 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,399 Speaker 1: could be both and or uh. And I will be 362 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: honest again, this is why I've been thinking about it 363 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: so much lately, not necessarily because I want children, but 364 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh my god, I'm getting to the 365 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: point that I can't, I won't be able to, or 366 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: there's gonna be a lot of complications, and do I 367 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: even want to go through there? And to be honest, 368 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: my own past history that I know very little of 369 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: makes me worry that I'm not even able to anyway. 370 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: But there has been that as well as the fact that, yeah, 371 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: I also don't want to be married. So but I would, 372 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: you know, in my mind, like I think i'd be 373 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 1: a good mom. Sometimes I think that sometimes I don't know, 374 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 1: but I will hold you like, huh. But I would 375 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: like to be able to have that option. And so 376 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,360 Speaker 1: maybe saving my eggs or freezing my eggs for now 377 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: and then having a seaga later on wouldn't be a 378 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,160 Speaker 1: bad thing. So there definitely comes through my head. Uh, 379 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,439 Speaker 1: And that is also part of the reason some do 380 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: want to do this. They are talking about it. It's 381 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: just sex in the City episode by the way, Miranda 382 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,640 Speaker 1: saves her eggs, freezes her eggs. Uh, they don't really 383 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,959 Speaker 1: get saraga. But I still know what's interesting. But another 384 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,920 Speaker 1: reason that they may choose segacy is past trauma alone 385 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:39,320 Speaker 1: and whether we're talking about trauma as in like abusive 386 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: trauma from past or whether we're talking about PTSD from 387 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: previous pregnancies, like things like that. There's a lot of 388 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 1: conversations about this is not healthy for me, and it 389 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: triggers a lot of things, but I do want children, 390 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,840 Speaker 1: this may be the best route. And then there are 391 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,119 Speaker 1: also physical problems. People who might not be able to 392 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,080 Speaker 1: have children do too some type of physical issue. You 393 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,119 Speaker 1: are overall complications with their health. That's another reason people 394 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 1: might want to seagate, right, And then sometimes it's because 395 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 1: they want to point blank and I know that one point, 396 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 1: I believe Kim Kardashian was heavily criticized because she did 397 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,879 Speaker 1: use saragas and they're like, that's because she wants to 398 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 1: keep her figure blah blah blah blah blah, and wanted 399 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 1: through a lot of judgment, turns out that there was 400 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: a whole different issue with like her placenta. I think 401 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: I had detached at one point and that caused a 402 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: lot of complications. But it doesn't matter. Again, this is 403 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:35,920 Speaker 1: one of those conversations like why why why and if 404 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: this is what they choose and it's legal and they're consenting. 405 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 1: I don't and it's above board, right, I don't understand, 406 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 1: but yeah, people may just choose to go that route 407 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,399 Speaker 1: point blank. And then so talking about Kim Kardashian and 408 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: we've talked about it a bit, it's just the overall 409 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,399 Speaker 1: controversies that happened under the guise of surregacy and Sarah 410 00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 1: get pregnancies so much so that many families, especially women, 411 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,720 Speaker 1: and there are several articles, are shamed for their decisions. 412 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: So we'll try to keep it a secret, not acknowledge it, 413 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: or try to move on. UM. And we talked about 414 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 1: it before, just a stigma of women not being able 415 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 1: to have or want children. UM, there's a judgment there, 416 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 1: and we did a whole episode of like, oh, we're 417 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 1: failing as women because we don't want them or we 418 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: don't want them now or we don't have them now, 419 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: either of those things. And again there's so seems to 420 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,879 Speaker 1: be many who freely give their opinions and judgments without 421 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,640 Speaker 1: knowing what the individual is going through on their own UM. 422 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,719 Speaker 1: And just beyond having judge Mcjudgeson's that exists, there are 423 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 1: many who feel that this goes beyond that, as in like, oh, 424 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: this goes against all of humanity. It's really bad. Well, 425 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,919 Speaker 1: one big controversy is that people believe this is a 426 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:53,119 Speaker 1: tight rope of using women as just mirror birthing machines, 427 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: and that this can lead to taking advantage of those 428 00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: who are economically disadvantaged. According to one study about the 429 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: law created in India in eighteen which banned commercial surrogacy 430 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: in the country and also placed heavily restricted rules on 431 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 1: altruistic surrogacies quote. Some feminists also criticized the commodification of 432 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: women's reproductive body, turning women into disposable beings, living tools, 433 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:23,639 Speaker 1: or baby machines, and draw parallels of prostitution and slavery. 434 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:28,399 Speaker 1: So they believe that using surrogates, especially those who are 435 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:32,240 Speaker 1: in dire need to do their circumstances, is something that's 436 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 1: leaning towards a level of slavery and disenfranchisement. And there 437 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: has been misconduct in the practice, so this is not 438 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 1: too far off when it comes to some organizations, as 439 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 1: there were no real regulations for the agencies or clinics, 440 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: just overall guidelines um and in twenty twelve, of course, 441 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 1: came out of women being confined to hostiles not properly 442 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 1: compensated and not being told of all the risks of 443 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 1: the procedure going through the pregnancy or having these babies, 444 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 1: having babies, and in some cases that the surrogates had 445 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: no rights whatsoever. So, yeah, that is definitely leaning towards 446 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: the trafficking the alarmist. What are they doing They're not 447 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: being made aware and oftentimes they are. Yeah, they're taking 448 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,200 Speaker 1: advantage of and the pay was so inconsistent that it 449 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,520 Speaker 1: brought up a lot of red flags for the actual practice. 450 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,639 Speaker 1: Of course, some would say, you know, no, but this 451 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: was helping the families. We actually you know, they're They 452 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,239 Speaker 1: found a couple of women who were surrogates and they 453 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 1: were concerned when the band took place because it really 454 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 1: helped them during a dire time. So they had jobs 455 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: gotten fired, whether it's because of pandemic reasons or whatever. 456 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,520 Speaker 1: They were able to provide. One talked about how they 457 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 1: were able to build a house from that money. But 458 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 1: the level of compensation was so vastly different for those 459 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,360 Speaker 1: in India than those in the US. That obviously shows 460 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:05,200 Speaker 1: a real disconnect and whether or not it is helping 461 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: or harming, right. And then there was a specific case 462 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 1: in when a couple abandoned one of the twins that 463 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 1: were born in India, which brought a spotlight on the 464 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 1: transnational surrogacy and some of the downfalls of that practice. Right. 465 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,440 Speaker 1: Apparently one of the twins was born with a disability 466 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: and when they found that out, literally disobeyed in them 467 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 1: on the street and left. So it was really ugly. Yeah, 468 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,639 Speaker 1: and the growth of surrogates in Southeast Asia grew in 469 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 1: preven endemic years. But the controversy of transnational surrogacy and 470 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 1: this lack of regulations has been a focal point of 471 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:44,880 Speaker 1: why many countries are banning the procedure. Right, I believe 472 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,680 Speaker 1: there was a case in Cambodia in which they hadn't 473 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: It was like thirty two women where they found they 474 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: were being surrogates and that's against the law. Was completely banned, 475 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 1: so they were threatened fifteen years like a lot of 476 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 1: years in jail, but instead took the plate to keep 477 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 1: the children and raised the children, and anybody who were 478 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 1: assisting got much less sentence, which I thought was funny 479 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: because they were the ones that facilitated all of this, 480 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 1: So you would think if this was a nactual human 481 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: trafficking case, they were gotten the bigger sentence as the traffickers, 482 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: you would hope. Yeah, and this was definitely one of 483 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: those traditional surrogacies where they was their egg and that's 484 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: believed they had to pay a pretty big fine, but 485 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,200 Speaker 1: it was the national headlines where they were trafficking. So 486 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 1: again it kind of goes into like, oh, but okay, 487 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 1: I know what you're trying to say. But at the 488 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,640 Speaker 1: same time, and is it shady yes, Like again when 489 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 1: it comes to when uh countries like the U s 490 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 1: and and the couple was from the Australia, that dropped, 491 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:54,440 Speaker 1: Like when you have those types of divide one using 492 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: the other, you're like, yeah, there's a big disparaging level 493 00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,719 Speaker 1: here that it's like, uh yeah, this is not pretty, 494 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 1: this is not cool. But yeah, that was an interesting 495 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,920 Speaker 1: case that I did read. So Also, a big controversy 496 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 1: has been whether this practice is an affront to womanhood altogether. 497 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 1: As a proposal to legalize surgacy in New York came around, 498 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:21,719 Speaker 1: many feminists, including Glorious Steinum, opposed legislation, arguing that quote 499 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: paid sexy turns women's bodies into commodities and it's cool 500 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 1: warsive to poor women. Given the sizeable payment it can bring. Yes, 501 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: As the New York Times states in their article concerning 502 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 1: fertility and surrogacy quote, some critics contend that the quest 503 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: for fertility equality erases women and denies their essential biological role. 504 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 1: And though many surrogate babies are born to straight couples, 505 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,840 Speaker 1: some opponents of surrogacy are uncomfortable with connecting the purchasing 506 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 1: power of men, especially gay men, to the bodies of women. Right, 507 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 1: So this was specific to why they were saying that 508 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:02,440 Speaker 1: it was biased against gay men these bands, and but yeah, 509 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 1: that was pretty specific. They were trying to say that 510 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,760 Speaker 1: this felt like they're taking away womanhood and we're gonna 511 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 1: talk about a bit. But it just seems homophobic as 512 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,480 Speaker 1: well as the transphobic when you look at the bigger 513 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 1: charms of what womanhood. Yes, definitely and yeah, yeah, though 514 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: it is very reminiscent of those who make the transphobic 515 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: argument of biology. Some say that this is in reference 516 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: of pregnancy to womanhood. Professor Phillis Schessler, who wrote about 517 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 1: the surrogacy case of baby M, states, some people want 518 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 1: to do away with reality, but biology is real. Biology exists, 519 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 1: and biology is what will get you pregnant. Yeah. Well 520 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 1: then speaking of baby UM. So the case of Baby 521 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: M which again we talked about just previously, was a 522 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: huge case that went to the Supreme Court in nineteen eight. 523 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 1: So this was all before gestational, This is all traditional theracasy. 524 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: So what happened in New Jersey in nineteen eighty five 525 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,880 Speaker 1: a woman agreed through a contract to be traditional surrogate 526 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: to a couple named the Sterns. The wife of the 527 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: intended parents had multiple school roses and felt she would 528 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 1: not be able to endure the pregnancy like a lot 529 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 1: of physical limitations, and went through the surrogacy route. The 530 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: woman was compensated ten thousand dollars which would equate to 531 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 1: about twenty two dollars today to carry the pregnancy to 532 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: term and would relinquish parental rights to the Sterns. But 533 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 1: after giving birth, the woman changed her mind and gave 534 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 1: up the money to keep the child and then was 535 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 1: sued by the Sterns. Yes um, and in the lower 536 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: courts the Sterns won. However, in the Supreme Court the 537 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: decision was reversed. They invalidated the contract stating that it 538 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 1: was in quote affront to public policy and the intended 539 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 1: payment was quote illegal, perhaps criminal, and potentially degrading two women. However, 540 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,920 Speaker 1: custody was given to the Sterns under the premise that 541 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 1: it was in the child's best interests. But cases often 542 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: used as a reason commercial surgacy should not be legalized 543 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: the case for traditional surgacy and gestational surrogacy. Um, these 544 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: cases are often seen as completely different, right, which is 545 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: how it stated in much of the laws throughout the country. 546 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 1: But yeah, I found that interesting because it's still reminiscent. 547 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,200 Speaker 1: Like I found an article that was written in twenty 548 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 1: eighteen talking about it. And obviously, as we were talking 549 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: about the one reporter who had actually she was the 550 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 1: one that chronicled the whole event, miss Chessler, from this 551 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: case and kind of became known for it. So therefore 552 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 1: she her commentary later on was very important because she 553 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,800 Speaker 1: was that you know, eye witness of that, and it 554 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 1: reverberated to the they're gonna it's almost like a lifetime movie. 555 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:45,240 Speaker 1: And I think it was a lifetime movie where the 556 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 1: woman was taking trying to take back the child, and 557 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 1: how it affected the young lady she was it was 558 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: a baby girl. So and some of the controversy comes 559 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 1: from the conservative standpoint of the heteronormative ideas of family, 560 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 1: which could also again lean to the continued bait of 561 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 1: women's bodies and who has authority of it and you know, 562 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: the lack of autonomy of it. And while researching the subject, 563 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,760 Speaker 1: there are many sites dedicated to the fact that segacy 564 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 1: again was just a slap in the face two families, 565 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:18,040 Speaker 1: traditional families, and to children's rights, and that surgacy quote 566 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 1: deliberately separated the child from the only mother that they 567 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: have ever known the moment they were born. So it's 568 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 1: kind of weird, Like what again, this makes me question 569 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: why many of the conservatives would suggest adoption as an 570 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,280 Speaker 1: alternative for anything for abortion. You know, we hear this 571 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:39,120 Speaker 1: a lot. If that's the case, if they arguing for that, 572 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, this doesn't This doesn't a lie. This doesn't 573 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 1: a lie. I don't understand. I mean again, it definitely 574 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 1: feels very much like, Okay, we've made it so difficult 575 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 1: for women to have agency over their reproductive rates. They're 576 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 1: making money off of it. No, never, right, that's wrong. 577 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 1: On top of this, there is also, yes, this constant 578 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 1: fear of human trafficking that's been a threat throughout what 579 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 1: we're talking about, and please know that it is considered 580 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:12,360 Speaker 1: by these sites human trafficking even though it's legal. Seriously, 581 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:16,520 Speaker 1: agencies they're talking about, As you said, Samantha, that doesn't 582 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:21,520 Speaker 1: mean there aren't issues, but they are legal circusy agencies. 583 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 1: I mean when we talk about human trafficking, we talked 584 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 1: about it so much with Bridget just how they're using 585 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 1: this almost as a caveat to so many things to 586 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,040 Speaker 1: trigger a response and this is kind of on that 587 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 1: same lines again, so many shady practices, and this is 588 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,239 Speaker 1: we're talking about human lives. I feel the same way 589 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 1: when it comes to adoption, that we need to regulate 590 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,240 Speaker 1: and have this conversation and hold people accountable for sure, 591 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: and just the limits that it can be abused. Absolutely 592 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 1: again I go for both of those things. But like 593 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: I said, when we have just constantly using these words 594 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 1: where it's like it doesn't mean when you think it 595 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 1: means anymore, Yeah, are you're just using it essentially. Another 596 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 1: reason these sites state for being against surrogacy is that 597 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,640 Speaker 1: it has a negative impact on the children, even giving 598 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,920 Speaker 1: specific accounts from children who were surrogates stating that they 599 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,920 Speaker 1: felt like um their lives were negatively impacted. However, in 600 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 1: a study led by Susan Golembach, director of the Center 601 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,399 Speaker 1: of Family Research at the University of Cambridge, there were 602 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 1: questions of adjustment problems at a younger age about age 603 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,880 Speaker 1: seven four children born through surrogacy, but it also depended 604 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,360 Speaker 1: on the openness of the birth with their children, and 605 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 1: that by age ten there were no differences in behavioral 606 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: adjustments with their children they were studying, is what they found. 607 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 1: So I have not found many studies. I did find 608 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,920 Speaker 1: a couple of studies about those who were surrogates and 609 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:53,480 Speaker 1: that if that impacted the children, and apparently it really didn't. Again, 610 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: I feel like this could be set along the lines 611 00:34:55,960 --> 00:35:00,400 Speaker 1: of adoption as well, like if you're openly communicating what 612 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: this is and who why this is, that there were 613 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:08,120 Speaker 1: less likely any real disruptions and adjustments and behaviors even 614 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,719 Speaker 1: though people like but but it's the lying part that 615 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 1: often will affect young children, especially if they feel like 616 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,880 Speaker 1: something that's been hidden and or that it is a stigma. 617 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 1: So if you're ready at the in the butt, oftentimes 618 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,239 Speaker 1: they can And even in the baby m case, the 619 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,840 Speaker 1: young woman who was the baby there was in question 620 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,240 Speaker 1: said that she was fine. It's quoted from two thousand 621 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 1: seven because apparently she does not care to be in 622 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 1: the limelight, so we don't read much about her, which 623 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,279 Speaker 1: I don't blame her, but she stays, I love my 624 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,520 Speaker 1: family when it comes to the Sterns, very much and 625 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,880 Speaker 1: very happy to be with them. I'm very happy I 626 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,840 Speaker 1: ended up with them, and I love them. They're my 627 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,759 Speaker 1: best friends in the whole world. That's all I have 628 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: to say about it. So again there's different cases and 629 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: conversations about who is affected by what. Of course, we 630 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,200 Speaker 1: know that these similar sites will also have a conversation 631 00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 1: about how gpt Q parents affect children as well and 632 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,480 Speaker 1: the upbringing up children. So I would take that all 633 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,160 Speaker 1: with a little grain of salt, and again not a 634 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 1: lot of numbers out there. It's kind of funny to 635 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,719 Speaker 1: me how sperm that it is really given seems to 636 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:17,440 Speaker 1: have less stigma than the actual mothers going through this, 637 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,399 Speaker 1: and it is the mothers who are often judge more 638 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,200 Speaker 1: so than the fathers in that family. Yeah, in both cases, 639 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 1: like the surrogate and the mother. Yes, such, Yes, this 640 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,640 Speaker 1: is all very very interesting and as we said at 641 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:33,960 Speaker 1: the top, listeners, if you have any experience or knowledge 642 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:38,279 Speaker 1: about any of this, please write to us. You can 643 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,319 Speaker 1: email us at Stephanie and mom Stuff at ihart meia 644 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom 645 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,080 Speaker 1: Stuff podcast or on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You. 646 00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,360 Speaker 1: Thanks as always too, are super producer Christina. Thank you Christina, 647 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,799 Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've Never Told 648 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:51,759 Speaker 1: You the protection of iHeart Radio. For more podcast for 649 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,240 Speaker 1: my Heart Radio, visit the heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 650 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:55,840 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,