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Speaker 1: You don't hear me confession, I can't take back.

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Speaker 2: All arms.

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Speaker 1: Speak.

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Speaker 2: Got a text into sevent eighty five nine two that

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Speaker 2: says a girl in my school needed glasses after she

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Speaker 2: got hit in the eye with a rogue snowball that

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Speaker 2: came flying from the other side of the building. Nobody

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Speaker 2: knows except me who did it. It was our fourth

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Speaker 2: grade teacher. I watched him throw it, and he never

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Speaker 2: admitted to it, and I never told on him. Brook.

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Speaker 2: Isn't that how you first got your giant glasses?

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Speaker 1: I mean I did.

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Speaker 2: I did get him in fourth gri from a road snowball.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, mister Frank, if you're listening, I know it's you, Frank.

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Speaker 2: If you've been sheltering your educators or your friends from

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Speaker 2: a cold, hard truth that's been eating away at you

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Speaker 2: over the years, you can unload it right here on

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Speaker 2: the mass speaker. And one of our listeners is ready

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Speaker 2: to let his secret snowball fly. He's chosen the alias Seth.

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Speaker 2: So Seth, welcome to the Igloo of Truth.

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Speaker 1: Yes, thank you very warm here, Seth. How are you

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Speaker 1: feeling right now? Confident? Oh that's not usually an answering

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Speaker 1: on this segment.

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Speaker 2: Interesting we're used to shame and regret. Yeah, we like

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Speaker 2: all emotions. So our voice changer is on. You're now

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Speaker 2: the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, seth go ahead, tell

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Speaker 2: us your confession.

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Speaker 1: All right, check this out. I know how to get

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Speaker 1: out of a speeding ticket legally. I have never gotten

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Speaker 1: out of a ticket in my life, paid so many

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Speaker 1: damn speeding tickets.

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Speaker 2: You've tried to be nice, You've tried to afford.

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Speaker 1: What is it?

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Speaker 2: What's a secret?

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Speaker 1: So I know this might sound a little conniving, right,

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Speaker 1: but bear with me heregal the same thing maybe.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry, al right, what happened?

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Speaker 1: So I pulled over for speeding. I was going eighty

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Speaker 1: and fifty or thirty whatever it was.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: It happens. Yeah, you usually tackle out of.

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Speaker 2: Your complexes, and when you're going that fast, it's hard

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Speaker 2: to read the signs to follow. You can't read them.

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Speaker 1: So I gave him all my information. He hands me

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Speaker 1: the ticket, and before he hands me the ticket, I say, look,

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Speaker 1: my brother, the firefighter. I was trying to, you know,

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Speaker 1: get out of it with my charm, which didn't work.

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Speaker 2: It didn't work.

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Speaker 1: Okay, oh that didn't work. The brother being a firefighter

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Speaker 1: did not work, nor was it true. Oh okay, So

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Speaker 1: on the ticket, we all know this is the officer's name. Okay,

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Speaker 1: And with names, there is a place that you can

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Speaker 1: go and type them in called Facebook social media.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, what are you getting a friend the officer?

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Speaker 2: You looked him up?

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Speaker 1: Friend him?

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Speaker 2: I'm going to join my group a little late and

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Speaker 2: tickets are already issued at that point. To just be

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Speaker 2: liking his cat videos or the picture of his kids.

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Speaker 1: Talk.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm trying to get a step ahead of you,

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Speaker 2: none of go ahead. So what do you do?

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Speaker 1: Okay? I type his name in and I find out

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Speaker 1: that he married, Okay, okay, right, and I find out

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Speaker 1: that his wife is pregnant because they're having a gender

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Speaker 1: reveal party. Oh good. This is very specific to this

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Speaker 1: one officer or is it every officer? I thought this

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Speaker 1: was going to be something I could.

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Speaker 2: Use, and you're digging into his family connections? Is this

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Speaker 2: really creepy? A little bit?

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Speaker 1: Right? But when I saw the due date when the

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Speaker 1: baby was supposed to be born, I knew that was

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Speaker 1: my opportunity to win.

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Speaker 2: Wait, you're gonna steal his baby in the delivery room?

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Speaker 1: But ransom, I'm going to contest the ticket. I am

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Speaker 1: going to establish the court date to be the same

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Speaker 1: date that the officer's baby being so the chances of

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Speaker 1: him showing up the court.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So you changed the date of the court case

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Speaker 2: to say I can show up at this and made

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Speaker 2: it the same day as the baby.

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Speaker 1: I know this sounds like it's impossible, but I called

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Speaker 1: the court and said I couldn't make that date. Could

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Speaker 1: I please make it this date?

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Speaker 2: What's like medical issue or something? You rescheduled your hearing.

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Speaker 1: He didn't show up because that baby was born. Its

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Speaker 1: name is Carl.

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Speaker 2: He's still stocking. You got him a gift off of

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Speaker 2: his registry.

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Speaker 1: But when he doesn't show up, that means you automatically

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Speaker 1: win the case. Yeah, right right on, baby, Oh Carl. Wow,

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Speaker 1: thank you social Media.

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Speaker 2: That is so extra, I mean so much. Do you

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Speaker 2: feel like you're kind of like stocking the police office public?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh, I mean I got a lot of practice.

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Speaker 1: I've dated a lot of crazy people. This is my

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Speaker 1: plea to all of your listeners that you can do

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Speaker 1: this too.

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Speaker 2: Trust you are so proud. I mean, it's very convincing.

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Speaker 2: Time you get pulled over pray that the officer's wife

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Speaker 2: is pregnant. I know, and within the next few weeks.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, look look, look, look, you find out

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Speaker 1: a lot of things, say, for example, they honor Ramadan,

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Speaker 1: or find out when their birthdays are or when they're

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Speaker 1: going to a bachelor party.

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Speaker 2: Oh, and that is brilliant.

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Speaker 1: I really feel like you should be using your energy

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Speaker 1: and talent.

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Speaker 2: In a different way than getting out of Like maybe

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Speaker 2: you should be a private investigator.

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Speaker 1: Like, maybe that would be a better use of your private.

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Speaker 2: Investigator work for the government. We might actually get some

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Speaker 2: stuff done.

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Speaker 1: Well, now that you have my secret, if I can

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Speaker 1: figure this out, you can figure this out. Go get

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Speaker 1: yourself out of a speeding ticket. Yeah, every police officer

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Speaker 1: listening just change their Facebook to private.

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Speaker 2: Tiers. My god, you have an ession that won't get

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Speaker 2: you or us arrested that you've been moving on to.

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Speaker 2: We can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make

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Speaker 2: you the next mass speaker phone tap is coming up next.