WEBVTT - You Make the Mf'n Rules

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<v Speaker 1>And our last tour, Jamila proposition like literally like put

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<v Speaker 1>us on the meat market on stage and was.

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<v Speaker 2>Just like who wants all? At three times tonight I said,

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<v Speaker 2>I said, Whisper, Are you risk your will? Yeah? Whisper

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<v Speaker 2>in your Unicorn? I had like five women like unicorn, Unicorn.

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<v Speaker 2>Take your chance. One thirty five dollar ticket could get

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<v Speaker 2>you a makeout with both of us. You might throw

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<v Speaker 2>Orlando into Oh my god. Welcome back to Good Mom's

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<v Speaker 2>Bad Choices.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Erica and I'm Nila, And it is the first

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<v Speaker 1>week of wait. It is the first Wednesday of May.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to May. This month's theme is a Good Mom's

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<v Speaker 1>Guide Too, and we will be unpacking all of the

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<v Speaker 1>amazing stories and just inviting a few really amazing and

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<v Speaker 1>dynamic guests to talk about motherhood, to talk about our book,

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<v Speaker 1>which is officially on motherfucking sale right the fuck now?

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<v Speaker 2>How do you feel? How do you feel you have

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<v Speaker 2>been a published author for one day? I feel liberated.

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<v Speaker 2>I do. I feel liberated. You guys, I know you

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<v Speaker 2>think you know all our business, but you don't.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of shit in here that I haven't

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<v Speaker 1>felt comfortable sharing on the podcast and for some reason,

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<v Speaker 1>when I put pen to paper, I really felt like

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<v Speaker 1>I could eloquently get it off my chest and be

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<v Speaker 1>done with it. And I'm fucking done with it. And

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<v Speaker 1>I really recently something came up in my life that

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<v Speaker 1>really showed me that I'm done with it. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really done, Like I'm not affected any longer by

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<v Speaker 1>the people and the things that.

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<v Speaker 2>Have hurt me.

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<v Speaker 1>And and if you read the book, you'll know what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about. And if you follow social media, then

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<v Speaker 1>you probably know what I'm talking about. I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>but anyway, I'm being cryptic because I want you to

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<v Speaker 1>read the book.

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<v Speaker 2>But I feel good. How do you feel? I do?

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<v Speaker 2>I feel liberated? I feel that I think that for

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<v Speaker 2>a very long time, we've been writing this book, and

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<v Speaker 2>for a very long time, only you and I had

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<v Speaker 2>read it, you and I and our and our editors,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, our editors are some of our agents

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<v Speaker 2>are not moms, our editor is, and so you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I was just really I was anxious about the feedback

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<v Speaker 2>that we would get and how our community would receive it.

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<v Speaker 2>And not that I don't think it's good, but this

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<v Speaker 2>is a new this is a new format for us

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<v Speaker 2>this is a new is what's what I'm looking for.

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<v Speaker 2>We know if artists use different mediums, this is a

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<v Speaker 2>new medium for us. And you know, I had my

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<v Speaker 2>best friend read it and she read it in one

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<v Speaker 2>day and I was like, you know, and she's like,

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<v Speaker 2>I loved it. And then we've had a couple interviews.

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<v Speaker 2>We get an interview with the Route and we had

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<v Speaker 2>an interview with Essence and both of them well yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>one of them read it and they really loved it,

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<v Speaker 2>and she really resonated with it. So the more I

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<v Speaker 2>get a little bit of feedback, I'm like, get feeling

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<v Speaker 2>more confident, and I do. I feel liberated. I feel

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<v Speaker 2>liberated in my truth. I feel liberated and this is

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm here for. And you know, you may relate,

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<v Speaker 2>you may not, but you go and get this book.

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<v Speaker 2>And I hope that you guys have gotten it, because

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you guys know this, but authors

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<v Speaker 2>only can become best selling authors. They have one week.

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<v Speaker 2>They have pre sales and they have a week and

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<v Speaker 2>right now we only have about four more days until

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<v Speaker 2>our sales are in. And if we've never asked you

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<v Speaker 2>for anything, please please, please please, this is a huge project.

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<v Speaker 2>For us, and we really need your support if you

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<v Speaker 2>listen to us, if you just started listening, not a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of black women get to become first time author

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<v Speaker 2>and this was pretty divine. So if you're listening right now,

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<v Speaker 2>stop bullshitting. Go to Good Moms, Bad Choices dot com,

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<v Speaker 2>click the book link on the drop down and pick

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<v Speaker 2>your poison. You can pick. You can order from Barnes

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<v Speaker 2>and Noble, you can order from Target, you can order

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<v Speaker 2>from Amazon, and you can order from a black owned

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<v Speaker 2>bookstore Malik's, which are selling signed copies. And you can

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<v Speaker 2>support two single black women moms first time authors. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>it's true.

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<v Speaker 1>We are shamelessly begging just because you know, we have

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<v Speaker 1>really put a lot of our business out here, a

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<v Speaker 1>lot mostly for ourselves because it's cathartic. But I if

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<v Speaker 1>any of the stories that we've shared have have helped you,

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<v Speaker 1>have resonated with you, have assisted you through any part

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<v Speaker 1>of your journey, like I really, really, I really just

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<v Speaker 1>want to ask you to support us in this momentous

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<v Speaker 1>moment for us, you know, and our tribe is really

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<v Speaker 1>important to us. And we don't ask you just to

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<v Speaker 1>say like yeah, yeah, just buy the book and that's it.

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<v Speaker 1>We have a lot of offers for you. Offerings for

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<v Speaker 1>you guys too. Once you buy the book, if you

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<v Speaker 1>go on our website, which you can just click the

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<v Speaker 1>link in this episode description, you get a ton of freebies.

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<v Speaker 1>After you buy the book, you put your order number

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<v Speaker 1>in and boom, you get a bunch of shit in

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<v Speaker 1>your email address from Actually I'm not gonna put it

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<v Speaker 1>all in yours, I mean in your email Jesus Christ,

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<v Speaker 1>my brain. You have a lot of you gotta We

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<v Speaker 1>get a lot of free stuff because we are all

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<v Speaker 1>about reciprocity.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that the word reciprocity.

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<v Speaker 1>We're all about reciprocity, and we want to keep giving

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<v Speaker 1>you the things that you need, the things that have

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<v Speaker 1>helped us. And I'm just really excited for you guys

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<v Speaker 1>to read this book. I'm really nervous, but I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>really excited. We're also doing a giveaway. If you want

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<v Speaker 1>to enter the giveaway, We're giving away a free trip

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<v Speaker 1>to the Good Vibe Retreat in Mexico in July when

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<v Speaker 1>you purchase the book. So we're going to select one woman.

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<v Speaker 1>You do not have to be a mom, just a woman.

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<v Speaker 1>Once you purchase the book, you can click the link

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<v Speaker 1>in this episode description and upload your receipt to enter

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<v Speaker 1>the giveaway, and we are announcing the winner on Mother's Day.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm just really excited to be able to offer

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<v Speaker 1>you guys so many things, and in exchange, I am

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<v Speaker 1>asking you for your support.

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<v Speaker 2>And for those of you who already pre ordered the

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<v Speaker 2>book and you got it in the mail yesterday, the

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<v Speaker 2>deepest thank you. Please read it, and as you read it,

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<v Speaker 2>please let us know how you feel about it. Send

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<v Speaker 2>a story. Actually, I really want everyone to share their

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<v Speaker 2>bad choices, like if you've if you've had any bad choices, like,

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<v Speaker 2>please add us and tell us, because I just want to.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to. I want to read it along with you.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to, I want to feel how you feel.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to know if it resonates and if it

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<v Speaker 2>does resonate with parts, and that will make us feel

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<v Speaker 2>really good and know that the work that we're doing

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<v Speaker 2>is you know, being received. We really like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>we get to hear from people in DMS. But if

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<v Speaker 2>you're like hesitant to reach out or you think it's weird,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not. We're friends, and I want to know. I

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<v Speaker 2>want to know you're feeling and like what came up

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<v Speaker 2>for you. These things are important to us. Please connect

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<v Speaker 2>with us on our socials and let us know you

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<v Speaker 2>know how you feel about the book and all that

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<v Speaker 2>good stuff. Yes, all those things. Sorry, what nothing. I

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<v Speaker 2>was just going to say, it's affirmation time, and because

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<v Speaker 2>we have so many affirmations in our book and it's

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<v Speaker 2>May and it's a good mom's guide, may, I am

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<v Speaker 2>going to I have a couple. Well, fuck, I lost

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<v Speaker 2>my I was going to just like scroll and see

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<v Speaker 2>where it stops and then read that part. And I

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<v Speaker 2>did it before we started, and now I lost it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have to find it again. But I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>do that for the affirmations unless you have a special afirmation, Okay, donkey.

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<v Speaker 2>This affirmation is advocating for and keeping my peace is

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<v Speaker 2>my birthright, and no one comes before me when it

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<v Speaker 2>comes to my well being. Advocating for and keeping my

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<v Speaker 2>peace is my birthright, and no one comes before me

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<v Speaker 2>when it comes to my well being. Mm mmmm.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that is like a major challenge for most

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<v Speaker 1>moms is really advocating for yourself, you know, and not

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<v Speaker 1>feeling guilty about putting yourself, pleasure, your self, love, whatever

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<v Speaker 1>that looks like for you. First you know, society tells

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<v Speaker 1>us that motherhood is a sacrifice, it's sacrificial, that we

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<v Speaker 1>are sacrificial lambs. That is really the narrative that has

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<v Speaker 1>been painted unfortunately, and you know, even in this book,

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<v Speaker 1>we really challenge that aggressively and really advocate for you

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<v Speaker 1>to change your mindset because you can't be a good

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<v Speaker 1>mom when you are running on empty. You cannot be

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<v Speaker 1>a good mom when you are giving everything to everyone

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<v Speaker 1>else and putting yourself last. You know, these are things

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<v Speaker 1>that seem really basic, right Like you see these things

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<v Speaker 1>on social media. You hear people talk about this, but

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<v Speaker 1>are you actually applying this to your life? Are you

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<v Speaker 1>actually doing this? Are you totally burnt out? Are you

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<v Speaker 1>totally exhausted? And granted it's not always perfect. There would

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<v Speaker 1>be times where you will be there will be times

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<v Speaker 1>where it will be hard to find the balance, but

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<v Speaker 1>you have to remember this affirmation in those times to

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<v Speaker 1>kind of come back to that idea, Come back to

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<v Speaker 1>that not even idea, come back to that application in

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<v Speaker 1>your life because it isn't just an idea. I think

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of times you hear affirmations and they just

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<v Speaker 1>become ideas. Are things we say and then we forget them.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's like, how often are we actually applying these

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<v Speaker 1>affirmations that we read on Instagram to our life? Are

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<v Speaker 1>we just saying them in the day and it helps

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<v Speaker 1>us through? Are we actually applying these things? So I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to be saying them once and actually not

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<v Speaker 1>believing them. Yeah, and you might and you might, you

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<v Speaker 1>might not believe them. And it takes time sometimes to

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<v Speaker 1>believe that.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to practice an affirmation repeatedly until it truly

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<v Speaker 2>you believe it and it resonates and sometimes honest it

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<v Speaker 2>takes like months or years. You know, there's been things

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<v Speaker 2>programming I've been telling myself like and and to acknowledge it.

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<v Speaker 2>The programming we tell ourselves is often negative and for

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<v Speaker 2>so long that it takes an aggressive amount of positive

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<v Speaker 2>affirmations to make it sink in.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, we've talked we were talking about this

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<v Speaker 1>on I don't know what podcast it was because we've

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<v Speaker 1>done it so many but just kind of you kind

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<v Speaker 1>of have to go against yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>You kind of have to.

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<v Speaker 1>Just do the exact opposite of what you what you've

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<v Speaker 1>been programmed to do. You know, like you have to

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<v Speaker 1>get uncomfortable making other people uncomfortable with your new boundaries,

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<v Speaker 1>with your new no's, with your new yeses, and and

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<v Speaker 1>that's challenging, it really is, but it gets it gets easier,

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<v Speaker 1>it does.

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<v Speaker 2>And it really gets easy making setting boundaries and standing

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<v Speaker 2>in whatever makes you happy or fulfilled when you are

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<v Speaker 2>around people that honor you and your happiness and your

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<v Speaker 2>peace and are there to help you and like not

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<v Speaker 2>make you feel crazy for advocating for yourself. And sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>it's hard to find those people because even as women,

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<v Speaker 2>we judge ourselves and then we judge each other and

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<v Speaker 2>then prevents us from like having deep connections and deep

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<v Speaker 2>friendships and like finding a tribe. But if you, guys,

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<v Speaker 2>are those moms or those women who are in the

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<v Speaker 2>house all the time, sticking to your routine, not veering

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<v Speaker 2>out of it, and not venturing out to do anything new,

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<v Speaker 2>you're not going to find new friends. You're not going

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<v Speaker 2>to find your tribe, and you're not going to be

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<v Speaker 2>able to practice what you preach and practice you know,

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<v Speaker 2>keeping boundaries and you know it's just being you authentically.

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<v Speaker 2>And I feel like sometimes people feel like it's difficult

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<v Speaker 2>to find women like that, women who are radically accepting

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<v Speaker 2>of other women. And I think we are afraid to

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<v Speaker 2>find that afraid to tell the truth. If you're one

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<v Speaker 2>of those women, and you know, if you're on the socials,

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<v Speaker 2>we are going on tour and all of our people

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<v Speaker 2>come and all of our people are radically accepting. It's

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<v Speaker 2>like we've definitely cultivated a community of like radically honest women.

0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:13.240
<v Speaker 2>And I'm so proud and like, if you're in the

0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.800
<v Speaker 2>New York area, we'll be in New York. I mean

0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:21.040
<v Speaker 2>we'll be at City Winery on Friday, turning up. You know,

0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:23.440
<v Speaker 2>moms and women need to take breaks. And if something

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.840
<v Speaker 2>like going to a live podcast show alone is not

0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:30.400
<v Speaker 2>something you would typically do, this is your This is

0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:32.080
<v Speaker 2>your sign, this is your challenge.

0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.800
<v Speaker 1>This is I want to challenge you right now to

0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:36.559
<v Speaker 1>get out of your comfort zone.

0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:38.839
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, just be like fuck it, I'm gonna go. Like

0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.200
<v Speaker 2>who cares if it's alone, Like maybe you have maybe

0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.360
<v Speaker 2>you asked a friend to go or whatever. She might

0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:45.720
<v Speaker 2>buy the ticket, he might not whatever, But like pull

0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.200
<v Speaker 2>up and really like take a leap of faith, because

0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.959
<v Speaker 2>I mean, honestly, this is how we got here. Erica

0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:55.880
<v Speaker 2>pulled up on me. This stranger bitch pulled up on

0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:58.160
<v Speaker 2>me at the club in the bathroom and was like

0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:00.520
<v Speaker 2>we're going to be friends and at the time, and

0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 2>I know it was awkward and uncomfortable for her, and

0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:06.800
<v Speaker 2>but like thank god she did, because now we're delivering

0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:13.000
<v Speaker 2>a message, you know, lots of messages, and it's it's

0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:15.959
<v Speaker 2>a game changer, like doing something different from what you're

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.880
<v Speaker 2>used to doing could potentially be a life changing thing

0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.120
<v Speaker 2>for you, a life changing decision. So a lot of

0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:24.040
<v Speaker 2>times we get comfortable in our routines. We go to work,

0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 2>we come home, we feed the kids, we feed the husband,

0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.679
<v Speaker 2>you know whatever, you bend over all the things, and

0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:32.079
<v Speaker 2>we forget to say, like wait, hold up, like let

0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.160
<v Speaker 2>me do something spontaneous, let me frolic, let me do

0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.079
<v Speaker 2>a cartwheel very quick. Let me go down to the

0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.200
<v Speaker 2>bar and meet these bitches that I've only listened to

0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:40.520
<v Speaker 2>and now they're here, and this seems totally weird, but

0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:43.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to do it. Like do something for yourself,

0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.760
<v Speaker 2>Come get a drink, come hang out with us, dress sexy,

0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.360
<v Speaker 2>because you know that's what we like to do. And

0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 2>like if you came to our last show, you already

0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:54.120
<v Speaker 2>know it's it gets pretty like this is a production.

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.360
<v Speaker 2>We take this craft very seriously and we're extra ass bitches.

0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:00.400
<v Speaker 2>So the show is always an extra, there's always special guest,

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.600
<v Speaker 2>there's always surprise components, And I guarantee you everybody at

0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.840
<v Speaker 2>this show is going to welcome you with open arms

0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.360
<v Speaker 2>because honestly, that's just the kind of click we roll with.

0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:13.880
<v Speaker 2>And like I've seen it transpire time and time and

0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 2>time and time again, because honestly, like this, this friendship

0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.520
<v Speaker 2>has like opened us up to just opening the arms

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.600
<v Speaker 2>and the love to other women and the like. It

0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.120
<v Speaker 2>really is felt. So if you were just on the fence,

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.440
<v Speaker 2>if you usually don't do things like this, if you've

0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.920
<v Speaker 2>never gone to a live show, please come kick it

0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:35.960
<v Speaker 2>with us. It's going to have a really good time.

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:39.680
<v Speaker 2>We're going to drink It's synco to fucking'd maaya. You know,

0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:43.720
<v Speaker 2>these two bitches love tequila. We've retired from from tequila

0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:46.520
<v Speaker 2>and touring, but for this this launch, I think we's

0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:48.360
<v Speaker 2>going to be It's going to be a tequila time. Yeah,

0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:49.240
<v Speaker 2>Because I don't know if you've heard it.

0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:52.160
<v Speaker 1>Listen to our episode Rockstar Moms, but a Bitch is

0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 1>we're falling apart on our last tour with the amount

0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.640
<v Speaker 1>of drinking that was happening. I don't have it in me,

0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.640
<v Speaker 1>but I'll say it to my own the fuck I do.

0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 2>It's not only is it SA good to mile, It's

0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:05.560
<v Speaker 2>the first launch week of our book, our first book,

0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:08.920
<v Speaker 2>and we're gonna be in the Today Show. We're gonna

0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 2>be Today Show.

0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:11.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be on the Today Show tomorrow. So if

0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:14.680
<v Speaker 1>you're listening to this on Wednesday when we dropped this episode,

0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:16.680
<v Speaker 1>we are going to be on the Today Show in

0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:19.960
<v Speaker 1>the nine am hour, talking about our book, talking our shit,

0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:22.680
<v Speaker 1>really trying not to curse because we're not supposed to

0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:24.640
<v Speaker 1>do that. So we're gonna have to wrap up those

0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:28.080
<v Speaker 1>bitches and fucks. So just pray that a bitch figures

0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:29.240
<v Speaker 1>it out.

0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 2>And then post us. I really want you guys to

0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:33.320
<v Speaker 2>post us on the Today Show and then tag us

0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:36.160
<v Speaker 2>so I could feel famous. I want to repost it.

0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:40.400
<v Speaker 2>So if you're a Today Show watcher and you're up

0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.960
<v Speaker 2>at nine am on the Eastern Standard time, you need

0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:47.440
<v Speaker 2>to get your phone out, not only turn to the channel,

0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:50.360
<v Speaker 2>get your phone out, tag us so I can repost

0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:52.520
<v Speaker 2>it and tell my mom, lick, Mom, I told you

0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:54.400
<v Speaker 2>I was famous. And then like maybe one of my

0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:58.640
<v Speaker 2>salty ass ex'es that I blocked. Will see it. This

0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:00.640
<v Speaker 2>is fact and be like, oh god, it shouldn't have

0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:03.000
<v Speaker 2>been such a disrespectful dickhead. Look at that famous fine

0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:06.040
<v Speaker 2>ass bitch. Now, okay, that's the toxic part of me talking.

0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.520
<v Speaker 1>When you come to our show too, if you want

0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.560
<v Speaker 1>to hang out with us, get the VIP ticket. The

0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:14.520
<v Speaker 1>VIP ticket comes with a book, comes with comes with

0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:16.840
<v Speaker 1>the book that we will sign right there and then

0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.280
<v Speaker 1>write whatever the fuck you want. I love you, I

0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.440
<v Speaker 1>want to look your titties. Whatever you want me to write,

0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:21.960
<v Speaker 1>I'll write it.

0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:24.800
<v Speaker 2>Don't say look your titties. I said, I'll write it.

0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna do it. I might who knows? Who knows?

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:29.920
<v Speaker 2>I know you might. You'll never know unless you come,

0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:31.560
<v Speaker 2>so you won't know if you get a little titty,

0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:33.680
<v Speaker 2>like maybe one titty. How do you like liking titties?

0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 2>So it could happen. You never know.

0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:40.520
<v Speaker 1>I've been because our last tour, Jamila proposition like literally

0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:42.800
<v Speaker 1>like put us on the meat market on stage and

0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:43.280
<v Speaker 1>was just.

0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:45.880
<v Speaker 2>Like who wants to have a three times tonight.

0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.640
<v Speaker 1>Basically, and I was like, bitch, what the fuck. And

0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:49.720
<v Speaker 1>then we had hose, whispering in our ears at the

0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:50.280
<v Speaker 1>meat and green.

0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:53.880
<v Speaker 2>Like unicorn, I said, I said, a whisper.

0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.360
<v Speaker 1>If you risk your yeah, whispering in your Unicorn. I

0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:58.880
<v Speaker 1>had like five women like unicorn, Unicorn.

0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:02.120
<v Speaker 2>I know you show up, I know you show up

0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.119
<v Speaker 2>super fun and I'm censored. You know what I thought

0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:08.000
<v Speaker 2>about this? Okay, So I thought about this recently because

0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:11.520
<v Speaker 2>we went to we went to Mexico and they were like,

0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.520
<v Speaker 2>you don't like we got these cards pulled before we

0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:16.880
<v Speaker 2>did this ceremony and in preparation for our retreat that's

0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:18.760
<v Speaker 2>coming up, which was a beautiful ceremony. But one of

0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:20.879
<v Speaker 2>the cards was like, you don't have to be like

0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:22.800
<v Speaker 2>held on to the parts of you that you used

0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.159
<v Speaker 2>to be. And I was like, is God telling me

0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:27.760
<v Speaker 2>that I no longer need to identify as a party girl?

0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Is that what came to you? Is that what you

0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:35.240
<v Speaker 2>identify us? No, not necessarily, but there have been a

0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.399
<v Speaker 2>couple of times in my life. I went to therapy

0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:38.720
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, I don't give a fuck what

0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:40.640
<v Speaker 2>anybody thinks. And they're like, do you because you're saying

0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:42.800
<v Speaker 2>that adamantly and I was like, you shut up. But

0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:44.960
<v Speaker 2>I was just thinking about us, and I was thinking

0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:48.200
<v Speaker 2>about I do think that they're I mean, we've heard

0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 2>it from other moms like I'm cool, but I'm not

0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.440
<v Speaker 2>as party as you or like I think because we

0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:54.480
<v Speaker 2>show up so honest and we tell a lot of

0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:58.080
<v Speaker 2>party stories, a lot of entertainment stories, not entertainment stories,

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.440
<v Speaker 2>a lot of stories of our of our high funds,

0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:05.399
<v Speaker 2>and I think that people have this perception or can

0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:07.879
<v Speaker 2>have this perception of us that were like some wild

0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.080
<v Speaker 2>moms or you know or whatever. And then I was thinking,

0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.399
<v Speaker 2>like I hope like people don't hang out with us

0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:14.160
<v Speaker 2>and then they're like they're boring.

0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:16.480
<v Speaker 1>So is that why you feel like you got to

0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.159
<v Speaker 1>like I keep this persona going. No, you told everyone

0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:20.639
<v Speaker 1>to whisper fucking you to corny.

0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:23.440
<v Speaker 2>No. I was just saying, like the growth and like

0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:26.880
<v Speaker 2>the perception of us. And I had a show in DC.

0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.240
<v Speaker 2>We were at the club with some like we we're

0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:31.199
<v Speaker 2>those girls like there's an afterparty you meet us at

0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:33.639
<v Speaker 2>the table and this girl came up to me and

0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:35.399
<v Speaker 2>was like can I make can I I don't know.

0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:37.440
<v Speaker 2>She said she could three way make out with us,

0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:39.359
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, you have to ask my boyfriend.

0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.399
<v Speaker 2>I was like, go ask Erica. I don't know, but

0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:43.320
<v Speaker 2>I was actually and then she did. She came over

0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.880
<v Speaker 2>and asked me, and I was like, no, girl, no, no,

0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:50.040
<v Speaker 2>did I do it? I know? I asked Orlando. I

0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:53.160
<v Speaker 2>was again the tequila and the touring. This is why

0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:57.240
<v Speaker 2>we retired it because I got a little beside myself. Listen,

0:18:57.560 --> 0:18:59.000
<v Speaker 2>there could be a chance I might put my tongue

0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:00.439
<v Speaker 2>in your mouth. You never really know.

0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:03.000
<v Speaker 1>Have I made out with a fan or not, or

0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:06.439
<v Speaker 1>someone who listens to us, Yeah, yep, I have.

0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:19.359
<v Speaker 2>Oh bitch, you were there who.

0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:25.560
<v Speaker 1>Lando dying in the other room. Yeah, it's happened. You

0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:27.040
<v Speaker 1>know it has happened.

0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:29.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you just you just never know what could happen.

0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:33.399
<v Speaker 2>So this is so all that to say, don't expect

0:19:33.480 --> 0:19:35.679
<v Speaker 2>us to be super crazy party all the time. But

0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:40.240
<v Speaker 2>also you never know. I don't know. I can go

0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:45.480
<v Speaker 2>either way. It's it's yeah, yeah, it's gone either way

0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:48.920
<v Speaker 2>a lot of times. But don't don't hold us to that.

0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.520
<v Speaker 2>But it could happen, especially on a Friday. And that

0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:53.879
<v Speaker 2>is also the launch of our book that took two

0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:55.439
<v Speaker 2>years to write. That is also the day after we

0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:57.840
<v Speaker 2>were on the Today Show, which is also after it's

0:19:57.880 --> 0:20:01.120
<v Speaker 2>also syncle to Maya. It's a strong possibility anything's happened

0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:07.359
<v Speaker 2>and seem aligned. This is basically like we'll, we'll, we'll

0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:08.000
<v Speaker 2>wait listen.

0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:10.080
<v Speaker 1>You will get a free ship to Mexico. You will

0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:12.440
<v Speaker 1>get free ship. We might lick your tea. We also

0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:14.320
<v Speaker 1>might make out with you. You want a threesome, whisper

0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.520
<v Speaker 1>Unicorn like, this is our shameless bag.

0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:21.960
<v Speaker 2>This is making us seem like a prey, asperate asshole,

0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:24.000
<v Speaker 2>a tray of me at a at a party, the

0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:27.440
<v Speaker 2>pass around Trey. Just come take us so vulnerable, we'll

0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:30.640
<v Speaker 2>be really happy and excited and friendly that day. Take

0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:33.919
<v Speaker 2>your chance. One thirty five dollar ticket can get you

0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:38.320
<v Speaker 2>a makeout with both of us. We might throw Orlando

0:20:38.400 --> 0:20:43.920
<v Speaker 2>into Oh my god, oh my goodness. That doesn't support

0:20:44.040 --> 0:20:46.960
<v Speaker 2>us turning a new leaf at all. But so basically

0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:52.240
<v Speaker 2>you are still a party of all and I still

0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:58.119
<v Speaker 2>might make out with you. So here we go. Yeah.

0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:00.240
<v Speaker 1>Also, if you've been listening to the show for a

0:21:00.240 --> 0:21:04.880
<v Speaker 1>long time, than you know New York is very dangerous

0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:06.480
<v Speaker 1>place for us.

0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:10.040
<v Speaker 2>It's coordinates are coordinates make me crazy? I don't you know.

0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:12.960
<v Speaker 1>I never got my astro cartography writing from that hoe

0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:17.320
<v Speaker 1>that kept canceling on me, bitch, if you're listening, who

0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:18.240
<v Speaker 1>also took my money?

0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:20.040
<v Speaker 2>But I would like.

0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:23.119
<v Speaker 1>To say that I think there's something in my astrological

0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:25.720
<v Speaker 1>chart as it pertains to New York City and probably

0:21:25.720 --> 0:21:28.720
<v Speaker 1>yours as well. Maybe it's just bitches in general, because

0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:30.359
<v Speaker 1>I find that most of my friends when they go

0:21:30.400 --> 0:21:32.679
<v Speaker 1>to New York, they while the fuck out. I think

0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:35.119
<v Speaker 1>it's because there's fun on every corner. Birds of a

0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:37.520
<v Speaker 1>feather flock together, and you know, for the people that

0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:38.879
<v Speaker 1>are from New York and live there, they're like, I

0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:41.119
<v Speaker 1>don't like, it doesn't pertain to you because you're there

0:21:41.119 --> 0:21:45.119
<v Speaker 1>all the time. It's the travel there that don't know

0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:48.120
<v Speaker 1>how to act and you know, aka yeah. For much

0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:50.760
<v Speaker 1>of my singleness, I spent time in New York and

0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:57.800
<v Speaker 1>every single time, without fail, I was a hoe there.

0:21:58.280 --> 0:22:01.359
<v Speaker 2>I'm having a flash. But I'm just saying this. It

0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:03.840
<v Speaker 2>is stressing me out. I feel stress like I'm having

0:22:03.880 --> 0:22:06.280
<v Speaker 2>a specific thought. And I was just like, am I

0:22:06.320 --> 0:22:07.520
<v Speaker 2>a dumb bit? I had no?

0:22:07.680 --> 0:22:10.600
<v Speaker 1>We're fun, bitch, I had to fun, so much fun.

0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:12.520
<v Speaker 1>I've had so much fun in New York. It's just

0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:15.800
<v Speaker 1>one of my favorite cities. It's just fun on every corner.

0:22:15.880 --> 0:22:17.840
<v Speaker 2>There is a long I think I think that the

0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:20.399
<v Speaker 2>like I think I thrive there too. There's like a

0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:22.919
<v Speaker 2>there's an energy, there's an energy like I don't know

0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:24.760
<v Speaker 2>the men there, they just they just fuck with this.

0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:27.119
<v Speaker 2>They fuck with the scorpio energy. And there's like a

0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:29.440
<v Speaker 2>few cities that have like like an endless amount of

0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:32.920
<v Speaker 2>fine niggas. And it's New York, It's New Orleans. It's

0:22:32.920 --> 0:22:36.160
<v Speaker 2>those two. Yeah, it's New Orleans. Ne Orleans has fine niggas.

0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:37.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if they have jobs that they are

0:22:38.000 --> 0:22:39.960
<v Speaker 2>fine and they have those accents that throw you off

0:22:40.000 --> 0:22:41.199
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, you want me to come home with you?

0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:46.560
<v Speaker 2>What'd you say? There's also a lot of bars in

0:22:46.560 --> 0:22:50.320
<v Speaker 2>those cities and Atlanta too. Atlanta gets you crazy because

0:22:50.359 --> 0:22:55.040
<v Speaker 2>every restaurant, even the regular restaurant, is the club the club. True.

0:22:55.359 --> 0:22:58.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Atlanta is confusing, you know what. I

0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:00.400
<v Speaker 2>don't really know what you're gonna get there. I did

0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:05.280
<v Speaker 2>so much partying in Atlanta that I have a lot

0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:07.679
<v Speaker 2>of perpetrating in Atlanta, a lot. I'm all front I

0:23:07.680 --> 0:23:12.000
<v Speaker 2>think I expired fronts, all types of fronts happening. When

0:23:12.000 --> 0:23:15.160
<v Speaker 2>I went to Atlanta. This last time, I went out

0:23:15.160 --> 0:23:17.440
<v Speaker 2>by myself because I had to get out of the house.

0:23:18.280 --> 0:23:21.800
<v Speaker 2>And I went to meet cousin Chris, and we went

0:23:21.840 --> 0:23:25.199
<v Speaker 2>to dinner dinner, which is always the club Hokah hookah,

0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:27.040
<v Speaker 2>and then we went Then they're like, then they're like,

0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:29.720
<v Speaker 2>come to MJQ. Shout out to Goddess Jresse. I was like,

0:23:29.760 --> 0:23:32.120
<v Speaker 2>I must see my bitch. And they were also saying

0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:34.280
<v Speaker 2>that MJQ was about to move locations, and everybody knows

0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:36.480
<v Speaker 2>the underground locations, the epic location. So I was like,

0:23:36.480 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 2>if it's the last time I can go, I have

0:23:37.880 --> 0:23:40.480
<v Speaker 2>to go right because I have fomo like so bad.

0:23:41.359 --> 0:23:43.679
<v Speaker 2>And then I went. I hung out and like I

0:23:43.720 --> 0:23:46.359
<v Speaker 2>smoked and you know, I partied and then I got

0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:50.160
<v Speaker 2>in the uber and I went home like a regular bitch. No, actually,

0:23:50.240 --> 0:23:51.680
<v Speaker 2>let me tell you. Let me this is Eric was

0:23:51.680 --> 0:23:54.040
<v Speaker 2>gonna get a kick out of this. I am so greedy.

0:23:54.359 --> 0:23:56.119
<v Speaker 2>I just want everyone to know the level of greed

0:23:56.160 --> 0:23:58.280
<v Speaker 2>that I go to. I take all my food home.

0:23:58.400 --> 0:24:00.359
<v Speaker 2>I know people think it's like getto but like I

0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:03.040
<v Speaker 2>if I literally it'll be a corner left on the plate,

0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Like I'll take it home. I went to dinner with

0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:08.679
<v Speaker 2>cousin Chris and his cousin who kept ordering shots, and

0:24:08.680 --> 0:24:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I was like, bitch, you're trying to get me fucked up.

0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:13.560
<v Speaker 2>I already got like erics like my mom like you

0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:15.280
<v Speaker 2>have to record in the morning, so don't stay up

0:24:15.320 --> 0:24:17.520
<v Speaker 2>too Like it's like, I'll be back. We get to

0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:19.359
<v Speaker 2>the club. Weber to the club. I had my like

0:24:19.480 --> 0:24:21.560
<v Speaker 2>doggy bag and I can't take it in the club.

0:24:21.840 --> 0:24:24.560
<v Speaker 2>Do you guys know did you go hide it so

0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:26.600
<v Speaker 2>you can get it? I hit it. I know you did.

0:24:26.760 --> 0:24:29.040
<v Speaker 2>There was a fence. There was a fence like this,

0:24:29.080 --> 0:24:30.720
<v Speaker 2>it was like somebody's house, and I like, I was like,

0:24:30.720 --> 0:24:33.879
<v Speaker 2>hold on. I put the bag over the fence. I

0:24:33.920 --> 0:24:36.440
<v Speaker 2>was like, it'll be fine. Went in the club, came

0:24:36.440 --> 0:24:37.720
<v Speaker 2>back out. I was like, oh, come with me across

0:24:37.720 --> 0:24:40.040
<v Speaker 2>the street. I gotta grab something. What is your food

0:24:40.080 --> 0:24:43.760
<v Speaker 2>scarcity problem? I don't know, like like I don't have

0:24:43.840 --> 0:24:46.639
<v Speaker 2>enough food as a child, Like I don't I gonna

0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:48.879
<v Speaker 2>ask about that. I don't remember starving as a child.

0:24:48.960 --> 0:24:50.880
<v Speaker 2>And I don't know if we were always like plentiful,

0:24:51.000 --> 0:24:53.760
<v Speaker 2>but like it's extensive. And I took it home only

0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:55.119
<v Speaker 2>to leave it in the refrigerator. Where we were.

0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:58.000
<v Speaker 1>You always do this. You don't ever eat it. I

0:24:58.119 --> 0:25:00.000
<v Speaker 1>barely ever eat it, So it's just a.

0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:02.000
<v Speaker 2>But it's like that I'm gonna get high, I'm gonna

0:25:02.000 --> 0:25:03.119
<v Speaker 2>be looking for it and I'm gonna pissed and I

0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:06.960
<v Speaker 2>don't have those four bites. But anyway, I need to

0:25:06.960 --> 0:25:09.040
<v Speaker 2>get this. I needed to get as a psychologist about

0:25:09.119 --> 0:25:11.879
<v Speaker 2>not a psychologist is a psychic about that shit? You

0:25:11.880 --> 0:25:16.280
<v Speaker 2>need to figure out where you're supposed to thrive with locations.

0:25:16.520 --> 0:25:18.920
<v Speaker 2>That's a cardio what did you call it? A cartography

0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:22.160
<v Speaker 2>cartography reading? A cartography reading for those of you who

0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:24.760
<v Speaker 2>know is it's gonna tell you your courded carto astrology

0:25:24.840 --> 0:25:27.400
<v Speaker 2>about where you're supposed to live and we're supposed.

0:25:27.119 --> 0:25:30.280
<v Speaker 1>To live, or like where your vibration is highest, like yeah,

0:25:30.280 --> 0:25:31.720
<v Speaker 1>where places you should travel to.

0:25:31.920 --> 0:25:34.560
<v Speaker 2>Where your vibrations as hoists. Maybe you might find your

0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:40.800
<v Speaker 2>new future husband wife whatever lever. Yeah, yes, yes, I'm

0:25:40.800 --> 0:25:42.760
<v Speaker 2>sorry I got so thrown off at my dumbass food

0:25:42.800 --> 0:25:47.600
<v Speaker 2>story that I forgot I was talking about. Okay, anyway,

0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:49.399
<v Speaker 2>I thought it would be, Oh, you didn't eat the

0:25:49.400 --> 0:25:51.200
<v Speaker 2>food I forgot It was delicious of a shrimp and

0:25:51.280 --> 0:25:54.639
<v Speaker 2>risotto and I forgot it and Samia's refrigerator, so I

0:25:54.640 --> 0:25:59.080
<v Speaker 2>hope somebody ate it. Anyway, we thought it would be

0:25:59.119 --> 0:26:01.840
<v Speaker 2>a really cool idea. Last week we had our kids

0:26:02.240 --> 0:26:03.800
<v Speaker 2>come on for a little bit. If you guys didn't

0:26:03.840 --> 0:26:06.560
<v Speaker 2>catch it, it was really it was really heartfelt. And then

0:26:07.080 --> 0:26:10.880
<v Speaker 2>we extended the episode in Patreon, so if you didn't

0:26:10.960 --> 0:26:13.800
<v Speaker 2>check out our Patreon, we're getting really we're dropping some

0:26:13.880 --> 0:26:15.600
<v Speaker 2>juicy shit over there. We also have a lot of

0:26:15.600 --> 0:26:18.880
<v Speaker 2>behind the scenes from the book that we'll also we'll

0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:21.720
<v Speaker 2>talk more about on Patreon. So it's going to be,

0:26:22.040 --> 0:26:25.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, a deep, deep dive. But I was thinking

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:27.520
<v Speaker 2>that we could like, just like you pull Taro, Taro,

0:26:27.800 --> 0:26:29.199
<v Speaker 2>you should pull a card. But I was just I

0:26:29.280 --> 0:26:31.600
<v Speaker 2>just like did one of those with the book, and

0:26:31.640 --> 0:26:33.240
<v Speaker 2>then I just stopped somewhere and said, this is what

0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:38.320
<v Speaker 2>God wants me to read. Okay, Okay, did you find it? Yeah? Okay,

0:26:38.359 --> 0:26:41.280
<v Speaker 2>this is actually my part. So those of you who

0:26:42.119 --> 0:26:43.879
<v Speaker 2>haven't ordered your book yet but you're doing it right

0:26:43.920 --> 0:26:45.679
<v Speaker 2>now as we speak, I just want you to know

0:26:45.720 --> 0:26:47.960
<v Speaker 2>that the book is we're co authors. So each chapter

0:26:48.040 --> 0:26:49.760
<v Speaker 2>you hear from me and then you hear from Erica

0:26:49.880 --> 0:26:52.280
<v Speaker 2>or Erica than me. I don't remember switches sometimes. It

0:26:52.320 --> 0:26:55.920
<v Speaker 2>switches sometimes, but it's we're going through the same parts

0:26:55.920 --> 0:26:57.600
<v Speaker 2>of our lives, but a lot of it is separately

0:26:57.640 --> 0:27:00.760
<v Speaker 2>because we didn't know each other for a long time motherhood,

0:27:00.920 --> 0:27:04.320
<v Speaker 2>during during our pregnancies, and our books and after motherhood,

0:27:04.359 --> 0:27:06.879
<v Speaker 2>and so it's kind of Someone described it as the

0:27:06.920 --> 0:27:08.880
<v Speaker 2>A side and the B side to a cassette tape,

0:27:09.040 --> 0:27:11.000
<v Speaker 2>which I really liked, and she said she looked forward

0:27:11.000 --> 0:27:13.680
<v Speaker 2>to each story, and quite frankly, you can read each

0:27:13.720 --> 0:27:17.119
<v Speaker 2>story simultaneously. You can read just Erica's and then you

0:27:17.160 --> 0:27:21.120
<v Speaker 2>can read just mine. It's two stories in one. Anyway,

0:27:21.359 --> 0:27:24.080
<v Speaker 2>it reminds me of the love below. I just don't

0:27:24.119 --> 0:27:28.080
<v Speaker 2>remember that. Oh yeah, this is the love below of books,

0:27:28.119 --> 0:27:31.280
<v Speaker 2>the love below of books. I'm I mean, no, I'm

0:27:31.720 --> 0:27:37.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm Andre. That'll be a big boy. That's cool. Actually,

0:27:38.040 --> 0:27:41.240
<v Speaker 2>before I get into this, let me light this backwood.

0:27:41.840 --> 0:27:46.520
<v Speaker 2>I rolled my favorite vanilla backwood, drizzled and honey before

0:27:46.560 --> 0:27:48.480
<v Speaker 2>I jump into this chapter. Because it gets a little

0:27:48.480 --> 0:27:50.600
<v Speaker 2>bit real. Let me let me let me hit my

0:27:50.600 --> 0:27:51.879
<v Speaker 2>my backwood real quick. I know.

0:27:52.000 --> 0:27:55.000
<v Speaker 1>There's nothing like a good smoke to set the vibes.

0:27:55.440 --> 0:27:59.520
<v Speaker 1>Because one thing about this book is it's tea, it's triggering,

0:27:59.720 --> 0:28:04.240
<v Speaker 1>it's funny, and weed helps, so I support this message.

0:28:09.760 --> 0:28:20.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, that's it, let me hear it. Here you go. Oh, okay,

0:28:21.280 --> 0:28:26.520
<v Speaker 2>story time, Okay, let's get into it. Okay. So this

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:29.600
<v Speaker 2>is this chapter is called fuck. I just had a baby,

0:28:30.520 --> 0:28:33.040
<v Speaker 2>And if you guys are expecting or you just had

0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:35.199
<v Speaker 2>a baby, this may resonate with you, or if you

0:28:35.240 --> 0:28:42.400
<v Speaker 2>were thinking about having one. Listen closely, my DearS m

0:28:43.840 --> 0:28:47.200
<v Speaker 2>About two weeks into motherhood, my baby daddy asked me

0:28:47.240 --> 0:28:50.840
<v Speaker 2>for some head and I almost lost my shit. Was

0:28:50.880 --> 0:28:52.440
<v Speaker 2>this what I had signed up to do for the

0:28:52.480 --> 0:28:58.280
<v Speaker 2>rest of my life? Supply others with me? I was pissed,

0:28:58.680 --> 0:29:01.560
<v Speaker 2>and suddenly all the type of a wife life felt

0:29:01.560 --> 0:29:06.560
<v Speaker 2>more like the Twilight Zone. I'm gonna do sound effects. Okay,

0:29:07.240 --> 0:29:09.880
<v Speaker 2>I think I used this reference twice because that's the

0:29:09.920 --> 0:29:14.200
<v Speaker 2>only scary, scary one I know. The word forever began

0:29:14.280 --> 0:29:17.880
<v Speaker 2>to ring and really sink in like a horror film.

0:29:18.160 --> 0:29:22.880
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't escape. Fuck, couldn't this motherfucker see see how

0:29:22.960 --> 0:29:25.600
<v Speaker 2>much I had just given, how my body and spirit

0:29:25.640 --> 0:29:29.160
<v Speaker 2>had just experienced something out of this fucking world. At

0:29:29.200 --> 0:29:33.080
<v Speaker 2>that moment I felt postpartum depression creeping in my back door.

0:29:33.720 --> 0:29:36.040
<v Speaker 2>I tried to fight it by jumping headfirst back into

0:29:36.040 --> 0:29:38.800
<v Speaker 2>my life. I literally took Luna to the mall at

0:29:38.840 --> 0:29:42.240
<v Speaker 2>seven days old, and a random stranger looked over at

0:29:42.240 --> 0:29:46.600
<v Speaker 2>me and said that newborn needs to be inside. I

0:29:46.680 --> 0:29:48.680
<v Speaker 2>was mad and ignored the fuck out of that woman.

0:29:49.200 --> 0:29:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Who was Who was this stranger? And was I already

0:29:51.920 --> 0:29:56.240
<v Speaker 2>a terrible mother? I went back to work with Luna

0:29:56.320 --> 0:29:58.640
<v Speaker 2>two weeks after giving birth. I even made it to

0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:01.640
<v Speaker 2>a New Year's Eve party four weeks postpartum, again with

0:30:01.720 --> 0:30:04.880
<v Speaker 2>Luna into and all of us in matching tuxedo outfits.

0:30:05.560 --> 0:30:08.720
<v Speaker 2>I was determined to preserve my old life, and honestly,

0:30:09.240 --> 0:30:12.040
<v Speaker 2>my my baby daddy mostly supported me in that. As

0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:14.720
<v Speaker 2>long as he was included in all my activities, I'm

0:30:14.720 --> 0:30:17.720
<v Speaker 2>a cool mom. You have to read. You have to

0:30:18.040 --> 0:30:21.520
<v Speaker 2>get the book to hear more. You won't hear those

0:30:21.560 --> 0:30:25.840
<v Speaker 2>sound effects. I know it's going to be devastating, so

0:30:25.960 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 2>you can imagine where that story goes. Okay, is it

0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:35.480
<v Speaker 2>my turn? If you're not watching on YouTube, you should.

0:30:36.080 --> 0:30:38.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm giving the vibrations to the book to deliver everyone

0:30:39.000 --> 0:30:45.480
<v Speaker 2>exactly the message they need to hear right now. Oh no,

0:30:45.520 --> 0:30:47.000
<v Speaker 2>this is your? Should I read? It? Should be mine

0:30:47.040 --> 0:30:49.920
<v Speaker 2>or yours? This is read You should read yours because

0:30:49.920 --> 0:30:58.920
<v Speaker 2>I already read mine. No, no, yeah, okay, here we go.

0:31:01.920 --> 0:31:04.160
<v Speaker 2>Her chapter is this is fuck. I just had a baby?

0:31:04.480 --> 0:31:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Is the same one you're just running? Yeah? Okay, mmm hmm.

0:31:13.320 --> 0:31:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Let's see.

0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:26.160
<v Speaker 1>A week before my due date, we set the inducement

0:31:26.200 --> 0:31:29.880
<v Speaker 1>for April twenty fourth, twenty fifteen. Doctor c Section said

0:31:29.880 --> 0:31:31.440
<v Speaker 1>it was better to set a date to make sure

0:31:31.480 --> 0:31:33.880
<v Speaker 1>a hospital bed would be ready for me. She told

0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:35.920
<v Speaker 1>me that waiting any longer than seven days after my

0:31:36.000 --> 0:31:38.400
<v Speaker 1>due date would make the probability of a natural birth

0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:41.920
<v Speaker 1>much lower. Fear mongering was her specialty, and I felt

0:31:41.920 --> 0:31:44.880
<v Speaker 1>myself falling into her trap. I went home that day

0:31:44.960 --> 0:31:46.640
<v Speaker 1>and had a little talk with baby Girl in her

0:31:46.680 --> 0:31:49.640
<v Speaker 1>new room. Over the past few months, I had meticulously

0:31:49.680 --> 0:31:52.440
<v Speaker 1>prepared her space, and the final touch was the rocking chair,

0:31:52.480 --> 0:31:54.240
<v Speaker 1>where I spent many days deciding what she.

0:31:54.240 --> 0:31:56.560
<v Speaker 2>Would look like. My mom had told me that she

0:31:56.600 --> 0:31:58.520
<v Speaker 2>did the same with me, and I came out looking

0:31:58.560 --> 0:32:02.360
<v Speaker 2>exactly as she manifested, big curly hair, her daddy's eyes,

0:32:02.520 --> 0:32:05.800
<v Speaker 2>chocolate skin, dimples, and my lips were what I imagined

0:32:05.840 --> 0:32:08.600
<v Speaker 2>for Iri Jane. But this time, as I rock back

0:32:08.640 --> 0:32:11.280
<v Speaker 2>and forth, I visualized my water breaking in the shower,

0:32:11.680 --> 0:32:15.680
<v Speaker 2>me giving birth quickly and beady catching our baby. As

0:32:15.720 --> 0:32:18.360
<v Speaker 2>I envisioned what I wanted, I felt overwhelmed with panic.

0:32:18.800 --> 0:32:21.320
<v Speaker 2>Could I do this? I had spent so much time

0:32:21.360 --> 0:32:24.040
<v Speaker 2>preparing everything else that I hadn't really thought about the

0:32:24.080 --> 0:32:26.880
<v Speaker 2>details of my birth. Oh my god, this baby has

0:32:26.920 --> 0:32:29.360
<v Speaker 2>to get out of me somehow, right? Will she break

0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:32.440
<v Speaker 2>my pussy? What if I can't push her out? Maybe?

0:32:32.480 --> 0:32:34.680
<v Speaker 2>Will they have to use that section thingy that makes

0:32:34.680 --> 0:32:38.240
<v Speaker 2>newborn heads look like coneheads? What if she suddenly goes breach?

0:32:38.640 --> 0:32:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Could I die during childbirth? Yep? Could she? At the time,

0:32:42.800 --> 0:32:45.080
<v Speaker 2>I had no idea that black women are three times

0:32:45.120 --> 0:32:48.000
<v Speaker 2>more likely to die during childbirth than white women. And

0:32:48.040 --> 0:32:50.560
<v Speaker 2>thank god I didn't, because I would have spiraled even more.

0:32:51.160 --> 0:32:53.720
<v Speaker 2>My thoughts started to go dark, and so I just

0:32:53.720 --> 0:32:55.960
<v Speaker 2>stopped thinking about the birth and hope for the best.

0:32:56.760 --> 0:32:59.280
<v Speaker 2>The well informed woman I am today wishes I could

0:32:59.280 --> 0:33:02.160
<v Speaker 2>offer that previous version of myself a hug and tell

0:33:02.160 --> 0:33:04.959
<v Speaker 2>her to keep going. To keep envisioning what she wanted.

0:33:05.360 --> 0:33:07.479
<v Speaker 2>I wish I could tell her that manifesting and believing

0:33:07.480 --> 0:33:10.200
<v Speaker 2>in her capabilities would be her superpower, and that she

0:33:10.280 --> 0:33:13.680
<v Speaker 2>could do this exactly the way she wanted. Back then,

0:33:13.840 --> 0:33:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I called b D nine one one and told him

0:33:15.880 --> 0:33:18.200
<v Speaker 2>to come over immediately and fuck me nine one one.

0:33:18.200 --> 0:33:26.360
<v Speaker 2>What is this the nineties? A beeper nine? Come fuck me, nigga,

0:33:27.240 --> 0:33:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I need to get fucked take this baby out. That's

0:33:30.600 --> 0:33:32.520
<v Speaker 2>actually a really good way.

0:33:33.040 --> 0:33:37.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and yeah, you know it was. The fucking didn't help, No,

0:33:37.280 --> 0:33:39.320
<v Speaker 1>sure did it. Neither did the salad that they told

0:33:39.320 --> 0:33:41.320
<v Speaker 1>me I should eat with some sort of special ingredients

0:33:41.400 --> 0:33:44.880
<v Speaker 1>or some shit. But yeah, I think about that time

0:33:44.880 --> 0:33:48.120
<v Speaker 1>in my life often because I didn't get to have

0:33:48.160 --> 0:33:51.800
<v Speaker 1>the birthing experience that I know for sure my body

0:33:51.840 --> 0:33:56.120
<v Speaker 1>was capable of having. You know, I I was really

0:33:56.160 --> 0:33:59.480
<v Speaker 1>robbed of that experience, and you know, I didn't have

0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:01.720
<v Speaker 1>the where all to advocate for myself at the time,

0:34:01.800 --> 0:34:05.080
<v Speaker 1>especially being the only mom in the group. I didn't

0:34:05.120 --> 0:34:08.200
<v Speaker 1>know Jamie yet, so I didn't have my my friend

0:34:08.239 --> 0:34:13.080
<v Speaker 1>who who had these these I guess these tools that

0:34:13.120 --> 0:34:15.399
<v Speaker 1>she didn't even know. She had to just say, no,

0:34:15.640 --> 0:34:18.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm this is what the fuck I'm doing? Even after

0:34:18.120 --> 0:34:21.000
<v Speaker 1>doing the research, even after watching the business of being born,

0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:24.040
<v Speaker 1>doing all the things, I still questioned.

0:34:25.719 --> 0:34:29.640
<v Speaker 2>My body's capabilities. And it's it's one of my big

0:34:29.680 --> 0:34:31.640
<v Speaker 2>probably one of my biggest regrets of my life, to

0:34:31.680 --> 0:34:35.120
<v Speaker 2>be honest, is not staying true to what I wanted,

0:34:35.239 --> 0:34:38.680
<v Speaker 2>because ultimately I was robbed at that experience. And I

0:34:38.719 --> 0:34:42.839
<v Speaker 2>do blame my doctor for that. She was careless and

0:34:42.880 --> 0:34:46.600
<v Speaker 2>she wanted to check period and she got it. I mean,

0:34:46.680 --> 0:34:50.040
<v Speaker 2>and that's the thing I think people, I mean, thankfully,

0:34:50.080 --> 0:34:52.000
<v Speaker 2>like you said in that chapter, it is like I

0:34:52.040 --> 0:34:54.480
<v Speaker 2>didn't know that I was three times likely to die either,

0:34:54.719 --> 0:34:58.480
<v Speaker 2>and thank fucking God, because it's already like so scary

0:34:58.520 --> 0:35:00.560
<v Speaker 2>and there's all it's already the unknown. And we were

0:35:00.600 --> 0:35:02.839
<v Speaker 2>pretty young, you know. I was twenty six, you were

0:35:02.880 --> 0:35:07.120
<v Speaker 2>twenty seven. And when you get put it like when

0:35:07.160 --> 0:35:09.640
<v Speaker 2>it's you're vulnerable when you're giving birth, you know, like

0:35:09.640 --> 0:35:11.880
<v Speaker 2>think about an animal who like goes to take hiding,

0:35:11.960 --> 0:35:14.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, goes to retreat when they're giving birth, except

0:35:14.280 --> 0:35:17.120
<v Speaker 2>there's not a bunch of medical doctors intervening. But you know,

0:35:17.160 --> 0:35:20.439
<v Speaker 2>you are vulnerable, and people tell you what they think

0:35:20.800 --> 0:35:25.040
<v Speaker 2>is gonna you know, speed it up or whatever. And

0:35:25.080 --> 0:35:27.080
<v Speaker 2>even for me, my birth didn't go exactly how I

0:35:27.120 --> 0:35:30.319
<v Speaker 2>wanted to go. And granted I had to go into

0:35:30.400 --> 0:35:33.719
<v Speaker 2>labor early and be induced, and I did get to

0:35:33.760 --> 0:35:37.640
<v Speaker 2>deliver naturally because I finally just gave in with the epidoral.

0:35:38.239 --> 0:35:40.680
<v Speaker 2>But I can only imagine how you feel, you know,

0:35:40.719 --> 0:35:42.319
<v Speaker 2>because even I want to redo and I want to

0:35:42.320 --> 0:35:43.920
<v Speaker 2>do it at home and like, you know, do it

0:35:43.960 --> 0:35:45.600
<v Speaker 2>the way I want to do it. But I think

0:35:45.680 --> 0:35:49.799
<v Speaker 2>ultimately to you guys, it's like having the tools is

0:35:49.800 --> 0:35:52.840
<v Speaker 2>super important. Advocating for yourself and trusting your body is

0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:55.440
<v Speaker 2>super important. But I always say this, but like birth

0:35:55.640 --> 0:35:58.400
<v Speaker 2>can truly be orgasmic and it can truly be a

0:35:58.480 --> 0:36:01.560
<v Speaker 2>rite of passage, and it's supposed to empower you. You know.

0:36:01.640 --> 0:36:03.960
<v Speaker 2>This is like really like where like you transform your

0:36:03.960 --> 0:36:07.400
<v Speaker 2>superpowers like Transformers, like the Power Rangers is because like,

0:36:07.640 --> 0:36:10.040
<v Speaker 2>once you give birth and you get through that, you're like, bitch,

0:36:10.120 --> 0:36:12.600
<v Speaker 2>I could do anything, And it really doesn't matter how

0:36:12.600 --> 0:36:17.319
<v Speaker 2>you bring the baby, you know, to Earth's side, you know, vaginally, epidural,

0:36:17.480 --> 0:36:21.840
<v Speaker 2>no epidural, scyrian, however way you do it. Motherhood is

0:36:22.320 --> 0:36:25.600
<v Speaker 2>once you start on this path of motherhood, it's a huge.

0:36:25.960 --> 0:36:27.960
<v Speaker 2>You know it is. It is a rite of passage.

0:36:28.000 --> 0:36:32.200
<v Speaker 2>But I really hope that people hear our stories and

0:36:32.320 --> 0:36:34.560
<v Speaker 2>understand how important it is to advocate for yourself and

0:36:34.680 --> 0:36:36.239
<v Speaker 2>that you choose a partner that will do the same

0:36:36.280 --> 0:36:38.959
<v Speaker 2>for you, and that you are really educated and empowered

0:36:39.040 --> 0:36:43.120
<v Speaker 2>before going into the hospital, because it's a game changer,

0:36:43.200 --> 0:36:45.399
<v Speaker 2>and they will they will trick you, and they will

0:36:45.400 --> 0:36:48.200
<v Speaker 2>try you. And like even me, we had different Earth's experiences,

0:36:48.400 --> 0:36:50.520
<v Speaker 2>but I had a very specific birth plan written out.

0:36:50.800 --> 0:36:53.520
<v Speaker 2>I made them copy it, made xeroxes and give them

0:36:53.520 --> 0:36:56.640
<v Speaker 2>to every nurse on fucking shift. I was there for

0:36:56.680 --> 0:36:58.839
<v Speaker 2>three days and I one of the things I said

0:36:58.880 --> 0:37:02.440
<v Speaker 2>is don't offer me medical any medicine, And what do

0:37:02.480 --> 0:37:05.640
<v Speaker 2>they do for your medicine immediately? And you're vulnerable and

0:37:05.640 --> 0:37:09.080
<v Speaker 2>you're like whatever, I took the time to meticulously write

0:37:09.080 --> 0:37:11.960
<v Speaker 2>out this birth plan and you're fucking going against it.

0:37:12.360 --> 0:37:14.640
<v Speaker 2>But it doesn't you know, in that time, people want

0:37:14.640 --> 0:37:15.839
<v Speaker 2>you to get the fuck out the bed so they

0:37:15.840 --> 0:37:18.359
<v Speaker 2>can make room for another one. And you know you

0:37:18.480 --> 0:37:23.839
<v Speaker 2>it is a business, and I I just I hope

0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:26.600
<v Speaker 2>that other black women, I hope this information doesn't scare you,

0:37:26.680 --> 0:37:30.040
<v Speaker 2>but it empowers you to just you know, do what's

0:37:30.120 --> 0:37:32.520
<v Speaker 2>right for you. And sometimes that's against what your partner says,

0:37:32.520 --> 0:37:34.759
<v Speaker 2>it's against what your mom says, and you got to

0:37:34.840 --> 0:37:37.759
<v Speaker 2>kind of like sit in whatever your intuition says for

0:37:37.840 --> 0:37:41.239
<v Speaker 2>you and just reminder that our bodies are made to

0:37:41.280 --> 0:37:45.280
<v Speaker 2>do this, and they can do this, and it's they're capable.

0:37:45.440 --> 0:37:47.200
<v Speaker 2>And you know, the doctor will tell you a bunch

0:37:47.200 --> 0:37:48.799
<v Speaker 2>of shit, the baby's too big, you too small, your

0:37:48.800 --> 0:37:51.120
<v Speaker 2>pelvis is too tiny, but you know, look at this

0:37:51.160 --> 0:37:55.960
<v Speaker 2>pelvis pushed out a baby, so you know, just keep

0:37:55.960 --> 0:37:56.560
<v Speaker 2>that in mind.

0:37:57.640 --> 0:38:00.279
<v Speaker 1>I also like something you said really resonated with me

0:38:00.320 --> 0:38:03.959
<v Speaker 1>that I want more women, specifically mothers, to understand because

0:38:03.960 --> 0:38:07.600
<v Speaker 1>I think that a lot of moms that have given birth,

0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:11.160
<v Speaker 1>they're tired, They have all these things right where they

0:38:11.239 --> 0:38:15.719
<v Speaker 1>feel like they it is a rite of passage, absolutely,

0:38:15.760 --> 0:38:20.720
<v Speaker 1>but I think mothers oftentimes they don't feel empowered after birth.

0:38:20.760 --> 0:38:23.360
<v Speaker 1>They don't feel like I can do anything.

0:38:24.480 --> 0:38:25.360
<v Speaker 2>You can do anything.

0:38:26.080 --> 0:38:31.399
<v Speaker 1>You literally created life. You can do anything. So if

0:38:31.440 --> 0:38:35.759
<v Speaker 1>you right now are feeling stuck, if you're feeling ashamed,

0:38:35.880 --> 0:38:40.120
<v Speaker 1>if you're feeling less than, if you're feeling unattractive, you

0:38:40.400 --> 0:38:44.960
<v Speaker 1>can do anything. Literally you created life. And for the

0:38:45.000 --> 0:38:47.400
<v Speaker 1>women that you know choose not to create life, cannot

0:38:47.400 --> 0:38:50.600
<v Speaker 1>create life. Whatever the cases may be, it does not matter.

0:38:51.440 --> 0:38:54.520
<v Speaker 1>We are women period. We are life creators, whether that

0:38:54.680 --> 0:38:58.160
<v Speaker 1>is from the womb, from this womb, from this womb,

0:38:58.360 --> 0:38:59.640
<v Speaker 1>from this womb.

0:38:59.520 --> 0:39:02.319
<v Speaker 2>We are the creators. Don't you fucking forget that. And

0:39:02.360 --> 0:39:04.080
<v Speaker 2>for those of you who are listening, she pointed to

0:39:04.120 --> 0:39:07.240
<v Speaker 2>both our womb, our heart, and our heads.

0:39:06.920 --> 0:39:09.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, these are all wombs. Shout out to Queen of Fua,

0:39:09.080 --> 0:39:11.680
<v Speaker 1>who really pointed that out to me. It was something

0:39:11.680 --> 0:39:14.760
<v Speaker 1>that I never even really considered. And it's absolutely true.

0:39:15.239 --> 0:39:16.719
<v Speaker 1>And I think there's a lot of shame too for

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:20.399
<v Speaker 1>the women that that can't have children that you.

0:39:20.280 --> 0:39:23.200
<v Speaker 2>Know, they that they're they're broken. And that's not that

0:39:23.360 --> 0:39:24.160
<v Speaker 2>they are less than.

0:39:24.920 --> 0:39:26.880
<v Speaker 1>They are less than that, they are somehow less than

0:39:26.920 --> 0:39:30.200
<v Speaker 1>in their in their womanhood and their femininity, and and

0:39:30.239 --> 0:39:33.400
<v Speaker 1>there are so many other ways that we birth that

0:39:33.440 --> 0:39:38.200
<v Speaker 1>are equally as powerful and a rite of passage in itself.

0:39:39.200 --> 0:39:41.880
<v Speaker 1>So I just want I want you to really really

0:39:42.200 --> 0:39:45.800
<v Speaker 1>know that, because a lot of people will tell you different,

0:39:45.840 --> 0:39:49.480
<v Speaker 1>whether that is your partner, your mother, Maybe you've made

0:39:49.560 --> 0:39:51.520
<v Speaker 1>some bad choices that have put you in a position

0:39:51.600 --> 0:39:53.000
<v Speaker 1>where you feel fucked up.

0:39:54.080 --> 0:39:56.040
<v Speaker 2>You create a life, bitch. You can get out of it.

0:39:56.320 --> 0:39:58.200
<v Speaker 2>You can get out of anything. And then I think,

0:39:58.600 --> 0:40:01.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, even for that that that chapter that I

0:40:01.600 --> 0:40:06.000
<v Speaker 2>just read, I read a lot of books that empowered me.

0:40:06.320 --> 0:40:09.440
<v Speaker 2>And that's why I kind of really I initially planned

0:40:09.480 --> 0:40:12.280
<v Speaker 2>on giving unassisted home birth, like I did. I couldn't

0:40:12.280 --> 0:40:14.600
<v Speaker 2>afford a midwife, and I was like, fuck it, I'm

0:40:14.640 --> 0:40:16.520
<v Speaker 2>gonna do it with my friend's mama, and I was

0:40:16.560 --> 0:40:18.600
<v Speaker 2>confident in that. And I mean, obviously there was fear,

0:40:18.640 --> 0:40:20.239
<v Speaker 2>but like it was, there was less fear doing it

0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:22.360
<v Speaker 2>at home unassisted than there was going to the hospital.

0:40:22.640 --> 0:40:24.320
<v Speaker 2>And I ended up having to go to the hospital

0:40:24.360 --> 0:40:26.279
<v Speaker 2>and I ended up getting an epidural, and I ended

0:40:26.400 --> 0:40:29.080
<v Speaker 2>up like all these things like that interrupted the flow

0:40:29.120 --> 0:40:32.279
<v Speaker 2>of what I wanted to have. They almost broke me.

0:40:33.040 --> 0:40:35.479
<v Speaker 2>And to the point where you know, we're talking about

0:40:35.520 --> 0:40:39.759
<v Speaker 2>feeling empowered in birth, which you know socially that's not

0:40:39.760 --> 0:40:41.720
<v Speaker 2>what you're going to hear. You see, you see images

0:40:41.719 --> 0:40:45.480
<v Speaker 2>of women crying and in pain and all these things.

0:40:45.480 --> 0:40:48.200
<v Speaker 2>It's never anything a positive experience until after the baby

0:40:48.239 --> 0:40:50.600
<v Speaker 2>is born. Like you don't we don't see birth associated

0:40:50.640 --> 0:40:54.280
<v Speaker 2>with pleasure. We don't see birth associated with feeling empowered.

0:40:54.719 --> 0:40:58.320
<v Speaker 2>And I felt I felt adequate in my body before,

0:40:58.480 --> 0:41:01.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, even before going into the hospit. But those

0:41:01.239 --> 0:41:05.759
<v Speaker 2>two days after, yo, I was like, oh no, no, no, no,

0:41:05.800 --> 0:41:09.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm broken. I felt like I just felt like a

0:41:09.480 --> 0:41:12.839
<v Speaker 2>like a push, like a pin, like a a pincushion.

0:41:13.360 --> 0:41:15.160
<v Speaker 2>I like, people come in and out the hospital, popping

0:41:15.200 --> 0:41:18.560
<v Speaker 2>your legs open, push probing you, putting things to, connecting

0:41:18.600 --> 0:41:20.920
<v Speaker 2>things to you, waking you up, giving you medicine. You

0:41:20.920 --> 0:41:22.640
<v Speaker 2>didn't even know what it was that you didn't asked for,

0:41:22.960 --> 0:41:26.800
<v Speaker 2>making you go to the bathroom like you Like I,

0:41:26.800 --> 0:41:28.799
<v Speaker 2>if I didn't know better, I would be like, this

0:41:28.840 --> 0:41:31.120
<v Speaker 2>is the opposite of a of a of a come,

0:41:31.239 --> 0:41:33.840
<v Speaker 2>of a rite of passage. This is trying to break me.

0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:37.000
<v Speaker 2>And when I went home even I was just like

0:41:37.040 --> 0:41:40.120
<v Speaker 2>even with the baby, like I wanted to breastfeed and

0:41:40.400 --> 0:41:43.400
<v Speaker 2>she would just it was just it felt overwhelming, like

0:41:43.480 --> 0:41:46.400
<v Speaker 2>everyone was taking from me and I wasn't even human anymore.

0:41:47.320 --> 0:41:49.279
<v Speaker 2>And nobody talks about that. And you know, to the

0:41:49.280 --> 0:41:51.160
<v Speaker 2>point where I just talked about my baby daddy asking

0:41:51.200 --> 0:41:53.719
<v Speaker 2>me for some head and I literally felt like that

0:41:53.840 --> 0:41:56.279
<v Speaker 2>was the bottom. I was like, oh my god, I've

0:41:56.320 --> 0:42:01.360
<v Speaker 2>fucked myself. Everyone expects me and I didn't have anything

0:42:01.400 --> 0:42:04.960
<v Speaker 2>to give after something so incredibly life changing, and it

0:42:05.000 --> 0:42:07.360
<v Speaker 2>felt draining at the time. And luckily I had the

0:42:07.400 --> 0:42:09.680
<v Speaker 2>tools to kind of like rebuild myself up and even

0:42:09.719 --> 0:42:13.319
<v Speaker 2>if it was a slow process, and you know, for us,

0:42:13.360 --> 0:42:15.880
<v Speaker 2>it took us like starting this podcast, you know, I

0:42:15.960 --> 0:42:19.839
<v Speaker 2>felt like like I felt myself wither away slowly, like

0:42:19.880 --> 0:42:21.640
<v Speaker 2>everybody was taking for me. And I feel like a

0:42:21.640 --> 0:42:23.680
<v Speaker 2>lot of moms feel that, you know, like if you're

0:42:23.880 --> 0:42:26.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, running a household and being a wife and

0:42:26.080 --> 0:42:28.000
<v Speaker 2>you're being a mother, and you have all these expectations,

0:42:28.000 --> 0:42:29.839
<v Speaker 2>because God forbid, you don't suck dick and make dinner

0:42:29.960 --> 0:42:33.040
<v Speaker 2>by eight, you're a terrible human being. You know. It's like,

0:42:33.200 --> 0:42:36.040
<v Speaker 2>we there's so much pressure put on us to deliver

0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:38.919
<v Speaker 2>in a certain, you know, pretty little box, and it's

0:42:38.960 --> 0:42:41.480
<v Speaker 2>just not realistic. And I just I hope if anyone's

0:42:41.520 --> 0:42:43.359
<v Speaker 2>listening to this and they're pregnant or they just gave

0:42:43.400 --> 0:42:47.560
<v Speaker 2>birth and they're feeling alone and they're feeling like why

0:42:47.600 --> 0:42:49.160
<v Speaker 2>do I feel this way? And everybody on the internet

0:42:49.239 --> 0:42:53.000
<v Speaker 2>is smiling, looking happy as fuck. It's a lie. Okay,

0:42:53.560 --> 0:42:56.360
<v Speaker 2>everybody goes through this. Motherhood is not some easy transition

0:42:57.239 --> 0:42:59.799
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of times you will feel high and

0:42:59.840 --> 0:43:02.400
<v Speaker 2>you will feel low, and that is normal. And I

0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:04.879
<v Speaker 2>think there's a lot of guilt associated with feeling low

0:43:05.239 --> 0:43:07.279
<v Speaker 2>because you're like, I just gave births to this beautiful bay,

0:43:07.320 --> 0:43:10.600
<v Speaker 2>supposed to be happy and grateful, and it's like, no,

0:43:10.920 --> 0:43:13.800
<v Speaker 2>you're a human, bitch, and that shit is a lot.

0:43:14.080 --> 0:43:17.000
<v Speaker 2>It's some alien like shit that takes place, and it's

0:43:17.400 --> 0:43:19.920
<v Speaker 2>and you know, even if you've done it multiple times,

0:43:20.000 --> 0:43:23.520
<v Speaker 2>it's still huge. It's a huge. Not a setback, but

0:43:23.560 --> 0:43:26.359
<v Speaker 2>it's a huge shift. And so honor that and give

0:43:26.400 --> 0:43:31.440
<v Speaker 2>yourself grace and in space to feel multiple ways at

0:43:31.480 --> 0:43:33.000
<v Speaker 2>one time. Yeah.

0:43:33.040 --> 0:43:36.880
<v Speaker 1>And this is as you know, for mothers that have

0:43:36.920 --> 0:43:39.360
<v Speaker 1>already that have had multiple children, or if you're just

0:43:39.920 --> 0:43:42.440
<v Speaker 1>becoming a mom, like, this is where you this is

0:43:42.440 --> 0:43:44.400
<v Speaker 1>where the boundaries come in. This is where you tell

0:43:44.520 --> 0:43:50.040
<v Speaker 1>your partner, no, not today. And I really hope that

0:43:50.080 --> 0:43:54.840
<v Speaker 1>we can encourage more men to do more research around motherhood.

0:43:54.840 --> 0:43:57.680
<v Speaker 1>I want to encourage men to read this book.

0:43:57.640 --> 0:43:59.680
<v Speaker 2>Give this to the new dads too, so that you.

0:43:59.640 --> 0:44:01.759
<v Speaker 1>Know how to support your partner so that you know

0:44:01.800 --> 0:44:04.440
<v Speaker 1>what questions to ask, so you know what the signs

0:44:04.480 --> 0:44:06.799
<v Speaker 1>to look out for, and postpartum where you're like, why

0:44:06.880 --> 0:44:10.640
<v Speaker 1>is my partner such a bitch? Why is she not

0:44:10.719 --> 0:44:12.600
<v Speaker 1>want to have sex with me anymore? Like it's been

0:44:12.680 --> 0:44:16.600
<v Speaker 1>a year, Like get over it, you know, Like these

0:44:16.680 --> 0:44:19.920
<v Speaker 1>are things. There's a lot of things in here that

0:44:20.040 --> 0:44:22.279
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know how to vocalize at the time. I

0:44:22.320 --> 0:44:24.920
<v Speaker 1>did not know how to tell my partner certain things.

0:44:24.960 --> 0:44:27.000
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know why I felt certain things because I

0:44:27.080 --> 0:44:30.920
<v Speaker 1>thought I was supposed to be happy, you know, And

0:44:30.920 --> 0:44:36.520
<v Speaker 1>and now looking back, I obviously have more tools now

0:44:36.760 --> 0:44:46.640
<v Speaker 1>to express this. But it's just it's a beautiful, terrifying, exhilarating,

0:44:47.400 --> 0:44:53.000
<v Speaker 1>life changing experience, is what motherhood is. And there's a

0:44:53.040 --> 0:44:54.200
<v Speaker 1>lot of glory in it.

0:44:54.320 --> 0:45:00.719
<v Speaker 2>But there is a lot of sadness sometimes, you know,

0:45:00.800 --> 0:45:03.480
<v Speaker 2>and it does get better, It does get better. And

0:45:03.520 --> 0:45:05.839
<v Speaker 2>you know, I think sometimes people, you know, look at

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:09.400
<v Speaker 2>our podcast or look at moms talking badly and I

0:45:09.440 --> 0:45:13.399
<v Speaker 2>put them putting air quotes out about their kid or

0:45:14.560 --> 0:45:17.279
<v Speaker 2>or the even you know, we had Jessica Rose on

0:45:17.320 --> 0:45:20.640
<v Speaker 2>the show months ago and she was saying how she

0:45:20.680 --> 0:45:23.799
<v Speaker 2>regrets motherhood. That she doesn't regret. She regrets the role,

0:45:24.320 --> 0:45:24.879
<v Speaker 2>the role that.

0:45:24.840 --> 0:45:27.279
<v Speaker 1>She's had to play in another hood, like this unexpected

0:45:27.400 --> 0:45:31.040
<v Speaker 1>role that she as a woman has to play as

0:45:31.080 --> 0:45:35.279
<v Speaker 1>a mom. And I think so many women resonate with that,

0:45:35.600 --> 0:45:37.680
<v Speaker 1>but feel horrible for saying.

0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:41.239
<v Speaker 2>That out loud. The anxiety that automatically comes that is

0:45:41.239 --> 0:45:43.960
<v Speaker 2>inherited when you give birth. There's an anxiety that doesn't

0:45:44.000 --> 0:45:46.799
<v Speaker 2>that exists that no longer, that didn't exist before. You're

0:45:47.120 --> 0:45:49.440
<v Speaker 2>constantly worried about this other person and if you're doing

0:45:49.480 --> 0:45:51.319
<v Speaker 2>a good enough job, and if they're getting what they need,

0:45:51.680 --> 0:45:54.120
<v Speaker 2>and like even in the early stages of motherhood is like,

0:45:54.120 --> 0:45:55.239
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, am I going to drop her and

0:45:55.239 --> 0:45:57.480
<v Speaker 2>she's gonna die? Like these are regular thoughts. It's like

0:45:57.520 --> 0:45:59.719
<v Speaker 2>almost preparing you to catch her if she falls. But

0:45:59.760 --> 0:46:04.759
<v Speaker 2>it's there's no aftercare for moms that enter into this

0:46:04.840 --> 0:46:08.719
<v Speaker 2>new phase of their life. Everything is poured into the child,

0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:11.760
<v Speaker 2>the baby shower. You get tons and tons of shit

0:46:12.000 --> 0:46:14.600
<v Speaker 2>for this baby. The mom gets nothing. This is for

0:46:14.680 --> 0:46:18.000
<v Speaker 2>the mom. This book, this book that we wrote for real,

0:46:18.160 --> 0:46:19.799
<v Speaker 2>This book is for the mom. This is for the

0:46:19.840 --> 0:46:22.359
<v Speaker 2>pregnant mom. This is for the I'm thinking about maybe

0:46:22.360 --> 0:46:24.640
<v Speaker 2>being a mom. This is for the I'm not having

0:46:24.680 --> 0:46:26.759
<v Speaker 2>any more kids mom. This is for the I'm getting

0:46:26.760 --> 0:46:29.000
<v Speaker 2>a divorce mom. This is for the married mom who

0:46:29.000 --> 0:46:33.600
<v Speaker 2>feels alone. Like literally, A lot of mom books are

0:46:34.120 --> 0:46:36.480
<v Speaker 2>basic and they tell you about how to care for

0:46:36.560 --> 0:46:38.080
<v Speaker 2>your kid, but a lot of them don't tell you

0:46:38.120 --> 0:46:40.680
<v Speaker 2>how to care for yourself. So if you're looking for

0:46:40.760 --> 0:46:43.600
<v Speaker 2>a place to feel normal and whatever transition you're going

0:46:43.680 --> 0:46:48.080
<v Speaker 2>in going through in motherhood or in womanhood, rather, this

0:46:48.360 --> 0:46:50.800
<v Speaker 2>book is for you. This book is to say, drop

0:46:50.840 --> 0:46:53.480
<v Speaker 2>all that shit and here's how you tap into yourself.

0:46:54.480 --> 0:47:02.000
<v Speaker 2>You're welcome. Did you pull a card? I did? I

0:47:02.000 --> 0:47:05.000
<v Speaker 2>don't know what this one means. It's a five of

0:47:05.160 --> 0:47:13.759
<v Speaker 2>swords and there's a man facing the other way. There's

0:47:13.800 --> 0:47:16.279
<v Speaker 2>a man facing the ocean that looks like a bay

0:47:16.400 --> 0:47:19.839
<v Speaker 2>or an ocean. They're all facing away except this one

0:47:19.880 --> 0:47:22.400
<v Speaker 2>man with his three swords looks like he's one. But

0:47:22.520 --> 0:47:28.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Oh no, I don't like it. I

0:47:28.920 --> 0:47:32.120
<v Speaker 2>don't like it. Canys pick another one? No, you can't.

0:47:33.320 --> 0:47:35.840
<v Speaker 2>This is not for us. This is for somebody listening.

0:47:37.160 --> 0:47:39.160
<v Speaker 2>This is for someone listening. I don't resonate with this

0:47:40.080 --> 0:47:42.160
<v Speaker 2>The Five of Swords turns up when you have had

0:47:42.160 --> 0:47:44.879
<v Speaker 2>a falling out, disagreement, or conflict, and you're walking away

0:47:44.920 --> 0:47:47.160
<v Speaker 2>with a sense of sadness or loss. You may be

0:47:47.239 --> 0:47:49.840
<v Speaker 2>upset and resentful over the heated words you said and

0:47:49.880 --> 0:47:52.680
<v Speaker 2>now wish you could take back bad blood, and a

0:47:52.800 --> 0:47:58.440
<v Speaker 2>generally ickiness hang general general ickiness hangover as you, over you,

0:47:58.520 --> 0:48:02.759
<v Speaker 2>as you are reallyations have turned sour. Even if you won't,

0:48:02.840 --> 0:48:06.680
<v Speaker 2>won't if you wow, can ive you a wall? If

0:48:06.719 --> 0:48:10.640
<v Speaker 2>you want wall, won't give it to me? Give it

0:48:10.680 --> 0:48:16.200
<v Speaker 2>to me like I couldn't. I can help that. Even

0:48:16.200 --> 0:48:18.160
<v Speaker 2>if you wanted the argument or came out of the

0:48:18.200 --> 0:48:21.160
<v Speaker 2>apparent victor, you realize that you have lost as much

0:48:21.280 --> 0:48:24.640
<v Speaker 2>or more than your opponent. This battle has cost you trust, respect,

0:48:24.719 --> 0:48:27.319
<v Speaker 2>or dignity, and isolated you. As you try to pick

0:48:27.400 --> 0:48:29.880
<v Speaker 2>up the pieces and set the conflict behind you, you

0:48:29.920 --> 0:48:33.439
<v Speaker 2>find it's more difficult than you thought. Others have lost

0:48:33.440 --> 0:48:35.640
<v Speaker 2>faith in you and are keeping their distance. You will

0:48:35.640 --> 0:48:37.400
<v Speaker 2>need to decide whether your point of view is so

0:48:37.440 --> 0:48:39.520
<v Speaker 2>important to you that you're willing to put your relationship

0:48:39.520 --> 0:48:42.040
<v Speaker 2>in jeopardy, or if you can compromise and see ey

0:48:42.080 --> 0:48:46.200
<v Speaker 2>to eye. Sometimes you don't need to compromise. I mean,

0:48:46.200 --> 0:48:48.520
<v Speaker 2>this obviously is saying that maybe you went too hard,

0:48:49.000 --> 0:48:53.040
<v Speaker 2>but you know, maybe it's maybe it's about the judgment

0:48:53.080 --> 0:48:57.640
<v Speaker 2>of yourself. M you know, like really like you've you've

0:48:57.840 --> 0:49:01.239
<v Speaker 2>betrayed yourself in ways. That's kind of like what I'm

0:49:01.280 --> 0:49:06.920
<v Speaker 2>getting from it. Not necessarily, you know, outwardly, but inwardly.

0:49:07.480 --> 0:49:11.480
<v Speaker 2>Choosing your battles wisely and in much way of the

0:49:11.960 --> 0:49:14.040
<v Speaker 2>battles wisely is a much better way of life than

0:49:14.040 --> 0:49:16.480
<v Speaker 2>engaging in every disagreement. Not only will it lead you

0:49:16.520 --> 0:49:19.600
<v Speaker 2>to more peaceful existence, but your interpersonal relationships are likely

0:49:19.640 --> 0:49:22.040
<v Speaker 2>to come out stronger. I mean, I think sometimes it's

0:49:22.040 --> 0:49:25.399
<v Speaker 2>like we pick ourselves apart. You know, everything is like, oh,

0:49:25.480 --> 0:49:27.400
<v Speaker 2>you said the wrong thing, and I do this like

0:49:27.440 --> 0:49:29.120
<v Speaker 2>you did the wrong thing, You're not doing it enough,

0:49:29.239 --> 0:49:33.160
<v Speaker 2>Like that inner voice is harsh and sometimes it's just

0:49:33.760 --> 0:49:36.880
<v Speaker 2>not that serious. Like you know, we fuck up. You

0:49:36.880 --> 0:49:41.040
<v Speaker 2>know we say this a lot, but beating yourself up

0:49:41.120 --> 0:49:45.160
<v Speaker 2>after the fuck up extensively is really not It doesn't

0:49:45.200 --> 0:49:48.160
<v Speaker 2>really shift anything or change or make anything better except

0:49:48.160 --> 0:49:50.520
<v Speaker 2>make you feel worse, and it's harder to get past

0:49:50.560 --> 0:49:55.040
<v Speaker 2>it and too the next point, so you know, I

0:49:55.040 --> 0:49:57.440
<v Speaker 2>think in motherhood is one of those things we're constantly

0:49:57.480 --> 0:49:59.680
<v Speaker 2>picking ourselves apart and how could we deliver, how could

0:49:59.680 --> 0:50:01.960
<v Speaker 2>we show up? And if you fucking got to the

0:50:01.960 --> 0:50:04.680
<v Speaker 2>soccer game, and like I spoil my kid just out

0:50:04.680 --> 0:50:08.680
<v Speaker 2>of just out of pure I don't want to traumatize you.

0:50:08.719 --> 0:50:11.480
<v Speaker 2>And I can like like she's throwing a fit. She

0:50:11.520 --> 0:50:14.760
<v Speaker 2>wants ramen and or sushi, and it's fucking like I'm like, fine,

0:50:14.800 --> 0:50:16.759
<v Speaker 2>fuck it, I'm gonna give you a sushi. Like you're

0:50:16.800 --> 0:50:19.800
<v Speaker 2>such a brat, Like okay, but it's just like sometime

0:50:20.000 --> 0:50:24.000
<v Speaker 2>like you're doing a good job. You're a human. Pick

0:50:24.040 --> 0:50:26.520
<v Speaker 2>the battles that you choose with yourself, you know, like

0:50:26.640 --> 0:50:30.120
<v Speaker 2>love yourself, love on yourself like so much so then

0:50:30.200 --> 0:50:31.799
<v Speaker 2>other people will know how to love on you and

0:50:32.400 --> 0:50:35.320
<v Speaker 2>pick your battles wisely. Even when it comes to you,

0:50:35.440 --> 0:50:38.880
<v Speaker 2>stop obsessing over things that you cannot change. Boo. You

0:50:38.920 --> 0:50:41.440
<v Speaker 2>can't change some shit and sometimes you're not supposed to

0:50:41.480 --> 0:50:44.200
<v Speaker 2>change them. You're supposed to shift and be a different person.

0:50:44.280 --> 0:50:48.279
<v Speaker 2>And that doesn't mean that you beat yourself up over them.

0:50:48.320 --> 0:50:50.320
<v Speaker 1>And even if it's even if it's not the battles

0:50:50.320 --> 0:50:51.960
<v Speaker 1>with you, it's so it sounds like this card too,

0:50:52.080 --> 0:50:54.600
<v Speaker 1>is like how do you react to certain things? Like

0:50:54.640 --> 0:50:58.040
<v Speaker 1>I think about my relationship with even like my mom

0:50:58.120 --> 0:51:01.120
<v Speaker 1>for example, and how it's it's shifted.

0:51:00.800 --> 0:51:01.360
<v Speaker 2>Over the years.

0:51:01.400 --> 0:51:03.880
<v Speaker 1>Like, yes, there's times in which I can you know,

0:51:04.000 --> 0:51:05.480
<v Speaker 1>moms where they know how to they know how to

0:51:05.480 --> 0:51:07.239
<v Speaker 1>trigger the fuck out of you, okay.

0:51:07.760 --> 0:51:08.960
<v Speaker 2>And they know how to do it.

0:51:09.000 --> 0:51:11.240
<v Speaker 1>And I was telling this, I was having this conversation

0:51:11.280 --> 0:51:13.160
<v Speaker 1>the other day and I was saying, God, you know,

0:51:13.320 --> 0:51:14.879
<v Speaker 1>like I look at my daughter and there's some there's

0:51:14.920 --> 0:51:17.080
<v Speaker 1>certain times, a lot of times where I'm just like,

0:51:17.840 --> 0:51:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to say mean to her, but like

0:51:20.120 --> 0:51:22.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm just like, this is what it is like because

0:51:22.480 --> 0:51:25.839
<v Speaker 1>I said, so, that's why, you know, and I don't

0:51:25.880 --> 0:51:31.000
<v Speaker 1>think that that idea and that energy always just changes

0:51:31.040 --> 0:51:32.759
<v Speaker 1>as your child grows up. And I think a lot

0:51:32.800 --> 0:51:37.480
<v Speaker 1>of times adult keep, adult kids and adult parents that

0:51:37.600 --> 0:51:41.319
<v Speaker 1>dynamic still exists where that parent doesn't really give a

0:51:41.320 --> 0:51:43.799
<v Speaker 1>fuck what they're what they're saying to you because they're

0:51:43.840 --> 0:51:45.360
<v Speaker 1>your mom and they're going to tell you how the

0:51:45.360 --> 0:51:46.680
<v Speaker 1>fuck it is, and doesn't they don't really give a

0:51:46.680 --> 0:51:48.799
<v Speaker 1>fuck about your feelings. Kind of like what we do

0:51:48.880 --> 0:51:50.960
<v Speaker 1>with our kids, like, this is what it is. I'm

0:51:51.000 --> 0:51:53.160
<v Speaker 1>telling you this because if I don't tell you, someone else.

0:51:53.160 --> 0:51:54.400
<v Speaker 2>Is going to tell you, you know.

0:51:54.560 --> 0:51:59.879
<v Speaker 1>And my reaction used to be combative all the time.

0:52:00.840 --> 0:52:02.880
<v Speaker 1>And you know, me and my mom had this disagreement

0:52:02.920 --> 0:52:04.880
<v Speaker 1>the other day. It wasn't even a disagreement.

0:52:04.880 --> 0:52:07.239
<v Speaker 2>It was just like she said something that made me

0:52:07.280 --> 0:52:10.520
<v Speaker 2>have mom guilt and go. We were in Mexico.

0:52:10.840 --> 0:52:15.200
<v Speaker 1>No oh no, no, she said that maybe had mom

0:52:15.280 --> 0:52:18.000
<v Speaker 1>like she said like she was going to take Iri home.

0:52:19.120 --> 0:52:22.799
<v Speaker 1>And we just got back from Mexico and I was

0:52:22.880 --> 0:52:28.399
<v Speaker 1>home for one day and then my room was coming

0:52:28.440 --> 0:52:30.759
<v Speaker 1>over and she was like, I'll take with Iri too,

0:52:30.800 --> 0:52:31.319
<v Speaker 1>I'll take Iri.

0:52:31.400 --> 0:52:32.640
<v Speaker 2>Do you want to take Iri? Do you want me to

0:52:32.640 --> 0:52:34.279
<v Speaker 2>take Iri tonight? And I'll take her to school since

0:52:34.320 --> 0:52:35.840
<v Speaker 2>he's coming. You haven't seen each each other in a

0:52:35.840 --> 0:52:40.160
<v Speaker 2>long time. And I was like, okay, cool. So then

0:52:40.160 --> 0:52:42.440
<v Speaker 2>we went to dinner and we were eating and then

0:52:42.440 --> 0:52:44.040
<v Speaker 2>we're about to leave, and then she was like, you,

0:52:44.239 --> 0:52:47.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, you've been gone a lot. You've been gone

0:52:47.120 --> 0:52:50.200
<v Speaker 2>a lot, you were gone, you just were back and

0:52:50.239 --> 0:52:52.880
<v Speaker 2>now like basically saying like maybe you should take her,

0:52:52.920 --> 0:52:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you should take her. But I was like you're

0:52:54.640 --> 0:52:57.160
<v Speaker 2>the one who even brought disgusted this. You know.

0:52:57.360 --> 0:52:59.399
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I know why because Iri had to sleep over

0:52:59.400 --> 0:53:01.319
<v Speaker 1>the night before her friend's house. So I had had

0:53:01.360 --> 0:53:02.719
<v Speaker 1>her for one night and then she went and had

0:53:02.719 --> 0:53:04.440
<v Speaker 1>to sleep over at her friend's house and then my

0:53:04.440 --> 0:53:05.000
<v Speaker 1>mom was going.

0:53:05.000 --> 0:53:08.959
<v Speaker 2>To take her. So I was just like, don't do that. Okay. Well,

0:53:09.600 --> 0:53:10.879
<v Speaker 2>and so then I said I or do you want

0:53:10.880 --> 0:53:11.799
<v Speaker 2>to come home with me? And she was like yeah,

0:53:11.800 --> 0:53:13.040
<v Speaker 2>and I was like cool. So I just came home

0:53:13.040 --> 0:53:14.440
<v Speaker 2>and she's like is she coming with me? And I

0:53:14.440 --> 0:53:15.759
<v Speaker 2>was like no, No. She was like why and I

0:53:15.800 --> 0:53:18.960
<v Speaker 2>was like it's fine, We're just gonna go home. But

0:53:19.160 --> 0:53:21.600
<v Speaker 2>there any other time I'd be like, well, this is why.

0:53:22.440 --> 0:53:24.080
<v Speaker 2>And then we got on. Then she texted me later

0:53:24.160 --> 0:53:29.680
<v Speaker 2>like what what happened? Ah, and I was like, well, honestly,

0:53:30.880 --> 0:53:33.400
<v Speaker 2>my mom guilt creeped in because of the comment that

0:53:33.480 --> 0:53:36.759
<v Speaker 2>you made, you know, And so I decided to pivot,

0:53:36.920 --> 0:53:39.239
<v Speaker 2>and she was like I could tell she wanted to

0:53:39.280 --> 0:53:41.000
<v Speaker 2>like kind of like go back and forth with me

0:53:41.080 --> 0:53:45.239
<v Speaker 2>about it, and I just like kept kept it as

0:53:45.920 --> 0:53:47.960
<v Speaker 2>you know what, Mom, It's fine, it's all good.

0:53:47.960 --> 0:53:51.279
<v Speaker 1>I figured it out, Like I didn't really appreciate that

0:53:51.400 --> 0:53:54.919
<v Speaker 1>since she offered to take her. But it's cool.

0:53:54.960 --> 0:53:57.239
<v Speaker 2>We figured it out. And that was hard for me

0:53:57.280 --> 0:54:01.600
<v Speaker 2>because I really wanted to say, like, what was the

0:54:01.960 --> 0:54:03.360
<v Speaker 2>what was the purpose of this? You just wanted to

0:54:03.440 --> 0:54:05.600
<v Speaker 2>hurt my feelings? Like do you just want to hurt

0:54:05.600 --> 0:54:07.279
<v Speaker 2>my feelings? Or you just had this feeling and you

0:54:07.320 --> 0:54:08.799
<v Speaker 2>just couldn't shut the fuck up, so you just felt

0:54:08.800 --> 0:54:10.799
<v Speaker 2>the need to say it, you know. And and and

0:54:10.840 --> 0:54:11.440
<v Speaker 2>that's what it is.

0:54:11.480 --> 0:54:14.120
<v Speaker 1>A lot of times moms, not just my mom, I'm

0:54:14.120 --> 0:54:16.319
<v Speaker 1>a mom as well, we just want to say what

0:54:16.360 --> 0:54:17.160
<v Speaker 1>the fuck we want to say.

0:54:17.239 --> 0:54:19.120
<v Speaker 2>We don't want to shut the fuck up because we're

0:54:19.120 --> 0:54:20.880
<v Speaker 2>the parent, you know.

0:54:21.400 --> 0:54:25.200
<v Speaker 1>And I have to remember that in these moments when

0:54:25.239 --> 0:54:28.120
<v Speaker 1>I re grows up, like trying to remember how this

0:54:28.239 --> 0:54:29.640
<v Speaker 1>makes me feel and to not.

0:54:30.440 --> 0:54:33.440
<v Speaker 2>Do that do that you know, yeah, yeah, my mom

0:54:33.520 --> 0:54:35.279
<v Speaker 2>does that a lot. And you know, it's interesting, I

0:54:35.320 --> 0:54:38.799
<v Speaker 2>think even in motherhood, you know, like happy birthday, you're

0:54:38.840 --> 0:54:41.440
<v Speaker 2>an eight year old mom today, thank you. You know,

0:54:41.520 --> 0:54:43.480
<v Speaker 2>eight years is not that long in the game, but

0:54:44.320 --> 0:54:47.120
<v Speaker 2>there it takes. There's like a great there's a period

0:54:47.120 --> 0:54:50.520
<v Speaker 2>that it to get confident in it and to really

0:54:50.640 --> 0:54:53.600
<v Speaker 2>like be like, hey, that wasn't cool, like even to

0:54:53.680 --> 0:54:57.360
<v Speaker 2>your own mom, you know, and like even set boundaries

0:54:57.400 --> 0:54:59.440
<v Speaker 2>with your own mom and you know, and with your

0:54:59.520 --> 0:55:01.399
<v Speaker 2>kid and with other people, and there takes a time

0:55:01.440 --> 0:55:02.759
<v Speaker 2>we're like, damn, do I even know what I'm doing?

0:55:02.960 --> 0:55:05.399
<v Speaker 2>I should just blindly take this advice and then feel

0:55:05.400 --> 0:55:07.360
<v Speaker 2>guilty or harbor this guilt because my mom said this,

0:55:07.520 --> 0:55:09.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, or my grandmother said this, or this person

0:55:09.560 --> 0:55:12.400
<v Speaker 2>said this, and it's just like a part of this,

0:55:12.520 --> 0:55:16.680
<v Speaker 2>a part of this work as mom's is also shifting

0:55:16.760 --> 0:55:19.680
<v Speaker 2>the things that you didn't appreciate or didn't contribute positively

0:55:19.719 --> 0:55:22.759
<v Speaker 2>to you as you were growing up. And you know,

0:55:22.800 --> 0:55:24.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm you know, I'm going through some shit with my

0:55:24.640 --> 0:55:26.080
<v Speaker 2>mom right now. And it's just like I've had to

0:55:26.120 --> 0:55:31.400
<v Speaker 2>create a lot of boundaries and feeling bad about it

0:55:31.440 --> 0:55:33.680
<v Speaker 2>in ways like it's it is your mom, and it's

0:55:33.719 --> 0:55:35.400
<v Speaker 2>someone who's raised you and they fed you and they

0:55:35.440 --> 0:55:37.879
<v Speaker 2>cared for you. And it's just like even like we're

0:55:37.920 --> 0:55:41.080
<v Speaker 2>all human and moms, I've really recognized how much I've

0:55:41.120 --> 0:55:44.280
<v Speaker 2>had to be the mom, be the parent to my parents.

0:55:44.360 --> 0:55:47.719
<v Speaker 2>Like you guys are immature, Wow, Like are you in

0:55:47.800 --> 0:55:51.359
<v Speaker 2>high school? And it's like maybe still meant like emotionally,

0:55:51.800 --> 0:55:55.719
<v Speaker 2>spiritually they may be, and it's just like it's it's

0:55:55.760 --> 0:55:59.879
<v Speaker 2>this again, standing in who you are and what you're

0:55:59.880 --> 0:56:04.920
<v Speaker 2>doing and recognizing that sometimes if you being the bigger person,

0:56:05.040 --> 0:56:07.520
<v Speaker 2>is just being like okay, cool, all right, or like

0:56:07.600 --> 0:56:09.640
<v Speaker 2>you know what, like she's not coming over there anymore.

0:56:10.280 --> 0:56:12.480
<v Speaker 2>You're doing stuff that I don't do in my household.

0:56:12.520 --> 0:56:14.400
<v Speaker 2>And I love you, and you know we love you,

0:56:14.800 --> 0:56:16.239
<v Speaker 2>but this is where we're going to pivot. This is

0:56:16.239 --> 0:56:18.319
<v Speaker 2>where this shit's going to shift, because you did this

0:56:18.360 --> 0:56:19.520
<v Speaker 2>to me, and you're not about to do this to

0:56:19.560 --> 0:56:20.960
<v Speaker 2>my kid, and you're not going to continue to do

0:56:21.040 --> 0:56:24.879
<v Speaker 2>this to me. So and you know, there's even guilt

0:56:24.960 --> 0:56:25.480
<v Speaker 2>in that.

0:56:25.400 --> 0:56:27.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, absolutely, And I think about I was thinking

0:56:27.680 --> 0:56:31.480
<v Speaker 1>about this situation actually today and I was like, she

0:56:31.520 --> 0:56:34.200
<v Speaker 1>didn't even apologize after I told her, like what you

0:56:34.280 --> 0:56:39.120
<v Speaker 1>said like hurt my feelings and clearly totally shifted what

0:56:39.239 --> 0:56:41.440
<v Speaker 1>was the plan even though you offered the plan? And

0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:44.680
<v Speaker 1>I thought to myself, God, like that has been a

0:56:44.719 --> 0:56:47.160
<v Speaker 1>theme in my relationship with my mom, is her lack

0:56:47.239 --> 0:56:51.640
<v Speaker 1>of apologies because she's not sorry, you know, and like

0:56:51.760 --> 0:56:53.800
<v Speaker 1>she's not gonna apologize if she doesn't think she's sorry.

0:56:54.239 --> 0:56:57.080
<v Speaker 1>And I'm the child, you know, whether or not I'm

0:56:57.640 --> 0:56:58.600
<v Speaker 1>in my thirties or not.

0:56:59.320 --> 0:57:00.600
<v Speaker 2>And I think.

0:57:00.480 --> 0:57:04.120
<v Speaker 1>About, you know, my daughter, and I'm just like man,

0:57:04.360 --> 0:57:07.919
<v Speaker 1>I am making a vow to myself that even when

0:57:07.960 --> 0:57:10.520
<v Speaker 1>I am not sorry, if I see that my daughter

0:57:10.640 --> 0:57:13.480
<v Speaker 1>was hurt by something, I will try to do my

0:57:13.600 --> 0:57:17.880
<v Speaker 1>best to at least to acknowledge it. You know what,

0:57:18.120 --> 0:57:19.720
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's not always going to be perfect.

0:57:19.760 --> 0:57:21.400
<v Speaker 2>And this is not a slight to my mother. She

0:57:21.480 --> 0:57:22.560
<v Speaker 2>has been a great mother.

0:57:22.760 --> 0:57:26.280
<v Speaker 1>And I think that because I have shared my experiences

0:57:26.320 --> 0:57:28.720
<v Speaker 1>in my childhood and like some of them have been

0:57:28.760 --> 0:57:31.160
<v Speaker 1>difficult for me and my relationship with my with my

0:57:31.240 --> 0:57:35.760
<v Speaker 1>father and and and even my relationship with her, she

0:57:35.960 --> 0:57:42.960
<v Speaker 1>has this kind of blanketed and like blanketed vision or

0:57:43.200 --> 0:57:48.120
<v Speaker 1>perception that I think my childhood was shitty and which

0:57:48.120 --> 0:57:50.440
<v Speaker 1>is not the truth. Did I have shitty moments in

0:57:50.480 --> 0:57:51.080
<v Speaker 1>my childhood?

0:57:51.160 --> 0:57:51.320
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:57:51.400 --> 0:57:53.400
<v Speaker 1>Are there things that affected me in my childhood? Yes,

0:57:54.160 --> 0:57:57.760
<v Speaker 1>that is life, That is any person's experience. Everybody's going

0:57:57.800 --> 0:58:00.720
<v Speaker 1>to have trump. But we take motherhood, our mothering so personal,

0:58:00.840 --> 0:58:02.440
<v Speaker 1>and I and I get it. And I'm only at

0:58:02.440 --> 0:58:04.040
<v Speaker 1>the I'm only an eight year old mother. I only

0:58:04.040 --> 0:58:05.480
<v Speaker 1>know as much as I know, so I can. I'm

0:58:05.560 --> 0:58:07.720
<v Speaker 1>only in the very beginning of this journey, and she's

0:58:07.800 --> 0:58:10.040
<v Speaker 1>much wiser than me, so she understands more than I do.

0:58:10.520 --> 0:58:17.920
<v Speaker 1>But I think about just like just being able to acknowledge,

0:58:18.720 --> 0:58:21.959
<v Speaker 1>being able to acknowledge when you've hurt your child, whether

0:58:22.040 --> 0:58:24.920
<v Speaker 1>or not you mentor or not, and being able to

0:58:25.800 --> 0:58:28.120
<v Speaker 1>at least have the conversation about it and not sweep

0:58:28.160 --> 0:58:31.080
<v Speaker 1>it under the rug and just say, Okay.

0:58:30.840 --> 0:58:34.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm the adult, the I'm the parent. But honestly, Erica,

0:58:35.160 --> 0:58:37.480
<v Speaker 2>the truth is is like and to a lot of

0:58:37.560 --> 0:58:40.440
<v Speaker 2>you listening too, is that for a lot of us,

0:58:40.600 --> 0:58:47.040
<v Speaker 2>we have we have consciously evolved emotionally much more than

0:58:47.040 --> 0:58:49.840
<v Speaker 2>our parents have. I think, you know, we're in a

0:58:49.840 --> 0:58:52.040
<v Speaker 2>different time. We have access to a lot of there's

0:58:52.080 --> 0:58:54.400
<v Speaker 2>a lot of mental health comparing, a lot more information.

0:58:54.960 --> 0:58:57.240
<v Speaker 1>You have so much more so, many more options and

0:58:57.280 --> 0:58:59.520
<v Speaker 1>perspectives to choose and pick from.

0:58:59.600 --> 0:59:01.800
<v Speaker 2>And and you know, some people take it, some people don't.

0:59:01.840 --> 0:59:04.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm not saying we're perfect different like mom, like, no,

0:59:04.720 --> 0:59:07.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, and you know and Mom, you know a

0:59:07.200 --> 0:59:10.120
<v Speaker 2>lot more than me, you do. I acknowledge that, But

0:59:10.160 --> 0:59:14.120
<v Speaker 2>it's also just about even in it, like I've had

0:59:14.120 --> 0:59:15.960
<v Speaker 2>to be soft with my mom in times like I

0:59:16.000 --> 0:59:20.160
<v Speaker 2>wanted to be like bitch, bitch, you know, and like

0:59:20.280 --> 0:59:21.880
<v Speaker 2>me and my mom have had like a very up

0:59:21.920 --> 0:59:24.640
<v Speaker 2>and down relationship, and you know, like I don't want

0:59:24.680 --> 0:59:26.160
<v Speaker 2>to be like cursing my mom out and I don't

0:59:26.200 --> 0:59:28.320
<v Speaker 2>want to be cursed out by my mom. That's not

0:59:28.360 --> 0:59:31.240
<v Speaker 2>what I expire aspire for. But you know, a part

0:59:31.240 --> 0:59:33.120
<v Speaker 2>of it is just recognizing, like in ways that she

0:59:33.400 --> 0:59:37.280
<v Speaker 2>hasn't developed, like emotionally, and it's harder for her to

0:59:37.360 --> 0:59:40.920
<v Speaker 2>say sorry. She's come from parents who probably didn't apologize,

0:59:40.920 --> 0:59:42.960
<v Speaker 2>and she hasn't had to do a lot of apologizing.

0:59:43.200 --> 0:59:45.480
<v Speaker 2>And so even for me, like apologizing is not my

0:59:45.520 --> 0:59:49.280
<v Speaker 2>strong point. And so I understand her in ways, and

0:59:49.400 --> 0:59:53.120
<v Speaker 2>I but I also understand that we are living in

0:59:53.200 --> 0:59:58.400
<v Speaker 2>a space where we're constantly evaluating ourselves and constantly trying

0:59:58.400 --> 1:00:00.680
<v Speaker 2>to show up as better versions of ourselves, even if

1:00:00.760 --> 1:00:03.840
<v Speaker 2>we're not, you know, hitting all the points all the time.

1:00:04.320 --> 1:00:06.880
<v Speaker 2>Because a bitch can go off the go off, you know,

1:00:07.120 --> 1:00:10.240
<v Speaker 2>but it is it is very well possible that you,

1:00:10.880 --> 1:00:15.160
<v Speaker 2>as the child, can be the shift, even if it's gentle,

1:00:15.360 --> 1:00:18.160
<v Speaker 2>just gentle. They hear it, they hear, they see, they feel.

1:00:18.200 --> 1:00:20.160
<v Speaker 2>She knows, she knows she did it, she knows what

1:00:20.280 --> 1:00:22.280
<v Speaker 2>she did. She And I think sometimes when you're not

1:00:22.280 --> 1:00:25.080
<v Speaker 2>competitive and you're not snapping back and you they start

1:00:25.120 --> 1:00:27.960
<v Speaker 2>to notice that you are reacting differently, then they don't

1:00:27.960 --> 1:00:30.640
<v Speaker 2>have a choice but to also follow. The narrative is

1:00:30.680 --> 1:00:32.200
<v Speaker 2>that I'm overly sensitive.

1:00:32.200 --> 1:00:36.680
<v Speaker 1>That's always been the that's always been the go to

1:00:36.880 --> 1:00:37.920
<v Speaker 1>whenever I have a problem.

1:00:38.080 --> 1:00:41.880
<v Speaker 2>You're, oh, you're so sensitive, you're sensitive. Yeah, you birth

1:00:41.920 --> 1:00:44.840
<v Speaker 2>the sensitive child, like you did, and so now you

1:00:44.840 --> 1:00:46.760
<v Speaker 2>have to deal with it, and now you have to

1:00:46.760 --> 1:00:49.600
<v Speaker 2>figure out how to parent me the sensitive child, you know,

1:00:49.760 --> 1:00:53.320
<v Speaker 2>And I think as parents, as parents, we often don't.

1:00:53.480 --> 1:00:55.520
<v Speaker 2>We're like, I don't want to deal with that. We'll

1:00:55.520 --> 1:00:58.040
<v Speaker 2>figure it out, We'll like, stop being so sensitive, Like

1:00:58.160 --> 1:01:00.240
<v Speaker 2>that's just not within my that's not who I am.

1:01:00.280 --> 1:01:02.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm a sensitive person. I feel a lot of things,

1:01:03.440 --> 1:01:05.760
<v Speaker 2>and I am considerate.

1:01:05.840 --> 1:01:08.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't ever want to feel like I'm a burden

1:01:08.480 --> 1:01:11.800
<v Speaker 1>to anyone. That's Oh, it's been extremely challenging for me

1:01:11.920 --> 1:01:12.880
<v Speaker 1>to ask for help.

1:01:13.280 --> 1:01:15.600
<v Speaker 2>It's been extremely challenging me for to ask for help,

1:01:15.640 --> 1:01:17.080
<v Speaker 2>even for my family.

1:01:17.320 --> 1:01:21.120
<v Speaker 1>And and it's just like, you know, knowing these things,

1:01:21.160 --> 1:01:30.000
<v Speaker 1>it's like sometimes I feel sometimes I feel like they're

1:01:30.120 --> 1:01:32.080
<v Speaker 1>used against me in ways they are.

1:01:32.800 --> 1:01:36.040
<v Speaker 2>And instead of just saying okay, I don't really understand

1:01:36.080 --> 1:01:38.439
<v Speaker 2>where that wasn't my intention, Like I would have even

1:01:38.480 --> 1:01:41.960
<v Speaker 2>accepted that, like, hey, that way, that wasn't my intention

1:01:42.080 --> 1:01:44.040
<v Speaker 2>if that's if that's how you felt, I'm sorry that

1:01:44.120 --> 1:01:47.000
<v Speaker 2>really wasn't. I just wanted you to acknowledge that you've

1:01:47.040 --> 1:01:49.800
<v Speaker 2>been gone a lot and it seems like I wants

1:01:49.840 --> 1:01:53.160
<v Speaker 2>to go home with you tonight. Done. It's simple as that,

1:01:53.280 --> 1:01:56.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm not really looking for, like I'm so sorry, Erica,

1:01:56.760 --> 1:01:58.880
<v Speaker 2>Like you know, I like and to be coddled. That's

1:01:58.960 --> 1:02:01.040
<v Speaker 2>not really that's not I know, that's not what I'm

1:02:01.040 --> 1:02:04.400
<v Speaker 2>gonna get, you know. So I don't know. I just

1:02:05.680 --> 1:02:07.360
<v Speaker 2>it's a reminder to me as a parent too, to

1:02:07.440 --> 1:02:10.280
<v Speaker 2>check myself, to check myself now, because these are when

1:02:10.360 --> 1:02:14.280
<v Speaker 2>habits are made. How you parent your child now is

1:02:14.360 --> 1:02:17.680
<v Speaker 2>ultimately they're creating habits for how you're going to parent

1:02:17.680 --> 1:02:21.000
<v Speaker 2>them as an adult as well. And when your kid

1:02:21.240 --> 1:02:21.960
<v Speaker 2>is grown and.

1:02:21.920 --> 1:02:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Doesn't want to fuck with you because now she doesn't

1:02:24.320 --> 1:02:27.600
<v Speaker 1>have to you can't be mad, you know, And I'm

1:02:27.640 --> 1:02:29.560
<v Speaker 1>not even I'm not I'm always gonna fuck with my mom.

1:02:29.560 --> 1:02:31.240
<v Speaker 1>That's not even, that's not that this is not that

1:02:31.320 --> 1:02:33.280
<v Speaker 1>serious at all. But I'm just saying for the mom,

1:02:33.360 --> 1:02:35.760
<v Speaker 1>for the parents that are listening that maybe have older

1:02:35.840 --> 1:02:38.360
<v Speaker 1>children that are don't fuck with them, or you know,

1:02:39.560 --> 1:02:41.680
<v Speaker 1>or you are that kid like these these are the

1:02:41.680 --> 1:02:44.400
<v Speaker 1>reasons why. It's because we get into these habits of

1:02:44.440 --> 1:02:47.520
<v Speaker 1>how we treat our children as kids, and then we

1:02:47.640 --> 1:02:50.600
<v Speaker 1>don't grow from that, our motherhood doesn't grow.

1:02:50.960 --> 1:02:54.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and let's face it, like it's easier to

1:02:54.120 --> 1:02:56.760
<v Speaker 2>take out things than the people that are closest to absolutely,

1:02:56.760 --> 1:02:58.560
<v Speaker 2>so you're comfortable doing that. You know they're always going

1:02:58.640 --> 1:03:00.360
<v Speaker 2>to leve you and they're not gonna We're not going

1:03:00.360 --> 1:03:02.480
<v Speaker 2>to stop being friends with you. They can't. They could,

1:03:02.520 --> 1:03:04.880
<v Speaker 2>They could, They could, they could, it could and they do.

1:03:04.960 --> 1:03:07.560
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, but you know, it takes a lot more though.

1:03:07.640 --> 1:03:09.200
<v Speaker 2>It takes a lot more to cut off you know,

1:03:09.440 --> 1:03:17.960
<v Speaker 2>a parent or whatever. So yeah, healing, healing, healing in motherhood.

1:03:19.200 --> 1:03:23.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, anyway, guys, I love you. I thank you for

1:03:23.120 --> 1:03:25.560
<v Speaker 1>tuning in to this episode. Thank you in advance for

1:03:25.640 --> 1:03:28.960
<v Speaker 1>purchasing a Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices, now

1:03:29.000 --> 1:03:33.040
<v Speaker 1>available everywhere on audible too. If you like listening to

1:03:33.040 --> 1:03:34.920
<v Speaker 1>the sound of our voice, then you can also listen

1:03:34.960 --> 1:03:37.400
<v Speaker 1>to the sound of our voice narrate our book, which

1:03:37.400 --> 1:03:39.840
<v Speaker 1>I think is really it's special.

1:03:40.240 --> 1:03:42.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we do. We did our thing. We put our

1:03:42.000 --> 1:03:43.320
<v Speaker 2>a little little.

1:03:43.040 --> 1:03:46.200
<v Speaker 1>Spice on it named when I'm boring ass audibles that

1:03:46.240 --> 1:03:48.680
<v Speaker 1>you hear and if again. If you're in the New

1:03:48.760 --> 1:03:51.800
<v Speaker 1>York City area, we are coming to City Winery on

1:03:51.920 --> 1:03:55.840
<v Speaker 1>May fifth, so come out, come up with your girls.

1:03:55.360 --> 1:03:58.040
<v Speaker 1>It's a Confessions of a Good Mom tour. So we

1:03:58.120 --> 1:04:00.680
<v Speaker 1>are confessing a lot. We want you you to confess

1:04:00.680 --> 1:04:03.480
<v Speaker 1>a lot, so make sure you call our hotline. We

1:04:03.600 --> 1:04:06.400
<v Speaker 1>have a special Voice of Special hotline where you can

1:04:06.440 --> 1:04:10.080
<v Speaker 1>confess anything like anything. It could be that you don't

1:04:10.120 --> 1:04:10.680
<v Speaker 1>fuck with.

1:04:12.400 --> 1:04:15.920
<v Speaker 2>Your husband, or that your husband's dick is terrible, or

1:04:15.960 --> 1:04:19.040
<v Speaker 2>that you know you did something nasty this weekend. That's right,

1:04:19.240 --> 1:04:22.000
<v Speaker 2>you can die listen at eight one, eight, two, one three,

1:04:22.160 --> 1:04:26.280
<v Speaker 2>twelve eighty seven and confess and we might just share

1:04:26.320 --> 1:04:29.080
<v Speaker 2>your confession at the show and it can be anonymous.

1:04:29.080 --> 1:04:32.240
<v Speaker 2>Just don't say your name. Also, we have a show

1:04:32.520 --> 1:04:36.280
<v Speaker 2>in DC coming up on May twenty first, and in

1:04:37.280 --> 1:04:41.280
<v Speaker 2>No Philly on May twenty fifth, and we are really

1:04:41.280 --> 1:04:43.360
<v Speaker 2>excited to connect with our people again. We had a

1:04:43.360 --> 1:04:46.400
<v Speaker 2>lot of fun in both of those cities. You know,

1:04:46.440 --> 1:04:49.400
<v Speaker 2>Philly is my hometown, so I look forward to, you know,

1:04:49.480 --> 1:04:52.120
<v Speaker 2>coming back through and saying hi to my peoples and

1:04:52.200 --> 1:04:54.840
<v Speaker 2>having a good, jolly old time. So it make sure

1:04:54.880 --> 1:05:00.160
<v Speaker 2>you click the episode description for all this information and

1:05:00.200 --> 1:05:26.400
<v Speaker 2>we'll see you next week. Bye. I'm not solo record.

1:05:28.000 --> 1:05:28.200
<v Speaker 2>Las