1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Hello, Chip, Hello God. 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 2: My son is like, I mean, see those dots on 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 2: my face. You all can't see it if you're just listening. 4 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 2: It's like the little holes in the blinds. 5 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's almost like dividing your face a little bit, 6 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: like to your face. Wow, this lighting set up. We 7 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: really should have had this figured out before starting to 8 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: press records. 9 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 2: It's good, but now I'm just getting these dots. Okay. 10 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: Anyway, anyway, well, we're just showing up as is today, 11 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: come as you are to the Velvet Edge podcast because 12 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: I told you before the podcast, I'm just tired. And 13 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: we were talking about what we're going to get to 14 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 1: for the topic, and you were like, I think you 15 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: just need to be like honest about this, like just 16 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: talk about what it is that you're going through with 17 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: that because it is very topical. So basically we were 18 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: saying that if you guys listened to the Wednesday podcast, 19 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: it was actually a repost from something I recorded in 20 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four with Amna Altaie. She's an executive coach. 21 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 1: I mean she has like Google Deloitte, like, she's people 22 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: that let me legit Yeah, I mean like legit jobs 23 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,919 Speaker 1: and companies and corporations, like massive corporations. She was so great. 24 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: I loved that conversation so much, and it's one that 25 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,680 Speaker 1: has really stuck with me. You know, there's certain conversations 26 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: I have that I'll just hear their voice in my 27 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: head almost when stuff starts to come up, and I'm like, oh, yeah, 28 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 1: this is like what I'm gonna said. And So I 29 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: had an experience earlier this week, or it was I 30 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: guess it was a couple of days ago now, but 31 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: I was supposed to record for my Wednesday podcast and 32 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: I got a terrible migraine. And I've been talking a 33 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: little bit about how busy work has been, but this 34 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: has kind of been one of the consistent themes of 35 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: my life where I will like work myself to the 36 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: point of getting sick. I think I even mentioned this 37 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: last week, but getting sick or sometimes if I let 38 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: stress get to me too much, I get migraines. And 39 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: it's typically just like I've absorbed too much, not too much. 40 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: It was a full moon, there was just a lot 41 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: going on in my sense of energetic body just couldn't 42 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: take it. Now, what I would have done in the 43 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: past is continued on like I would have taken my 44 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: migraine meds, I would have pushed myself through that and 45 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: just been like a zombie and not shown up as 46 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: my best self. And I just thought to myself, like 47 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: I literally heard Amana's voice in my head and of 48 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: all the different kinds of like burnout and the things 49 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: that we talked about, and I thought, oh, wait, I 50 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 1: have two choices here, Like I can do the thing 51 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: I've done in the past and not go through any 52 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,679 Speaker 1: of the changes that I've like learned through a lot 53 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: through this podcast or these conversations that I've had, or 54 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: I can try something different this time, and then now 55 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: we can make this a topic. And so that's what 56 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: I did. I was like, I'm going to repost that 57 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 1: podcast because it was such a good one, and I 58 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: rescheduled that interview and so you guys will hear it 59 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: next week. But Chip and I were here today and 60 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm still tired, Like 61 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: I'm just I have so much going on, and so 62 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: I wanted to keep talking about some of the things 63 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: that we bumped up against in our lives, like burnout 64 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: or how we get to these places and some of 65 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: the things that she taught me about the different kinds 66 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:11,639 Speaker 1: of labor that were actually exerting throughout every day. And 67 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 1: I think because I think that's what got me. I 68 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: don't think it's just like, oh, I'm so busy with work. 69 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: It's oh, I'm so busy with work and I'm giving 70 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: to all these other things and my energy is just 71 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: fucking zapped, and I want to talk about that. 72 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 2: Right Also, I mean, we our lives are pretty fast paced. 73 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 2: I think most people's lives. 74 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: Are really fast everybody. Yeah, I don't know. 75 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 2: You know, with the since the advent of social media too, 76 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 2: it's like rest isn't comfortable anymore because you feel like 77 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 2: you're falling behind everybody else. 78 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, which we talked about this last week. 79 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. So you know, it's really easy to recognize when 80 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 2: you're busy at work, and it's easy to blame that 81 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 2: because it's good fodder for conversation. But you're never going 82 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 2: to be like these fucking kids or like I mean 83 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 2: it's well people you might do, but you might do 84 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 2: it to like your closest friends. But it's like it 85 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 2: would be hard to recognize that as the source of 86 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 2: your burnout. But like, the truth is you're expending your 87 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 2: energy in so many directions. But work is often a 88 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 2: really easy one to blame. And obviously it's where we 89 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 2: spend most of our days, most of our week, so 90 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 2: it deserves a lot of the blame. But I think 91 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,479 Speaker 2: it's important to have a conversation about, like what else 92 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 2: in our life is creeping up that we might not 93 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 2: even be paying attention to, and what are the signs 94 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 2: to look for. 95 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,600 Speaker 1: And the thing I was thinking about when you were 96 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 1: talking was like the shame that comes with not being 97 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: able to do it all for me. Still, I've done 98 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: so much work around this specific topic, and I actually 99 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: think it's probably going to be just a common theme 100 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: through my whole life. Like I think this is part 101 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: of my life journey, this one theme of balancing the 102 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: give and take, you know, in many different ways. But 103 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: if we're talking about it in relation to burnout, like 104 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 1: just figuring out what I can give energy to, what 105 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: I'm getting in back from, how to have a better 106 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: healthier balance so I don't reach a place of burnout, 107 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: but also how to manage like so that I'm still productive, 108 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: you know, because like it's really easy to go one 109 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 1: extreme or the other, like work yourself to death or 110 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: keep yourself busy enough expend all your energy to get 111 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: to burn out or for me, it's really it would 112 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,839 Speaker 1: be almost easier to just shut completely down, you know, 113 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: like go one extreme to the other. And obviously we 114 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: all have to learn to live in this world as 115 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: we're here. And so my new goal is like, okay, wait, 116 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,720 Speaker 1: I need to pay attention like if I'm feeling that 117 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,159 Speaker 1: thing in my body, like and my body does talk 118 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: to me that way, if I'm feeling that thing, where 119 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: can I like pull back a little bit, And how 120 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: do I not shame the shit out of myself for 121 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: pulling back a little bit and not being able to 122 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: do all the things to go to all the events, 123 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: to show up for every person in every way that 124 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,600 Speaker 1: I want to cause It's not like it's bad things 125 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 1: that I'm expending energy on, right, you know. 126 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 2: Like by nature, not everyone's a narcissist, a selfish to 127 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,919 Speaker 2: the point of narcissism, but we're human. Nature is to 128 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 2: be a little selfish. So we want to think that 129 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 2: everyone's noticing if we're there, if we're not there, but 130 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,039 Speaker 2: none of us are keeping score on anybody else. But 131 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,599 Speaker 2: it always it feels like everyone's doing more than that 132 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 2: you're doing, and that's just not the case because we're 133 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 2: not paying enough attention to what other people are doing. 134 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: That's so because one of the narratives in my head 135 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: is always like why can they do it? And I 136 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 1: can't do it right? 137 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 2: But you're not their burnout when they are canceling. 138 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: Or it's just it's not great attention. And we're also 139 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: could be different people, Like there are certain things I 140 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 1: will never forget. I think I maybe have told this 141 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: story on the podcast before, and my mom's listening, so 142 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: hey Mom, this is about her. But I remember when 143 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,720 Speaker 1: she retired, and like, my mom was very good at 144 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: her job and everyone that worked for her loved her, 145 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: and so it was kind of this like big deal. 146 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: She was a school principal and a huge deal at 147 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 1: her school that she was leaving, you know, like the 148 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: teacher's really upset and the kids were upset, and I 149 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: remember her telling me like, I know everyone needs it, 150 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: principal said negatively. And my mom was truly loved and adored. 151 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: Like when I would go in, I was like, oh god, 152 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: I feel like a celebrity's daughter the way they're like, oh, 153 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: you're miss Henderson's. But yeah, so she would tell me, 154 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: like teachers were coming in her office and like crying 155 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: to her. So it was very emotional, you know. It 156 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 1: was just like and I don't think we ever give 157 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: enough merit or credit to emotions and how much weight 158 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 1: they can carry or how tiresome they can be, and 159 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: just going through the emotional process of grief. I think 160 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: we talked about that last week to you how much 161 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: that can be. And I just remember, like I flew 162 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 1: in for her actual retirement party and she was taking 163 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: a lot of naps and that's so not my mom. 164 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: My mom is like a go getter. She's always getting 165 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: shit done. And I remember looking at me and she goes, 166 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: is this how you feel all the time? Because she 167 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: was so emotional just going through the process of like 168 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: such a big life change and everyone else's emotions around her, 169 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: you know, And I was like, literally every day, Mom. 170 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 2: Every day, it's like, now you're retired and actually get 171 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 2: to nap. 172 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: Yes, she is living her best life now. But all 173 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: that is to say is like every human is wired 174 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: so differently too, and so we can't measure ourselves against 175 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: other people. Yet I say this and do it all 176 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: the time, right. 177 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 2: Well, I also think it's important to recognize that, like 178 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 2: we're not alone in burnout. Like, yeah, burnout is not 179 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 2: a sign of weakness in us. It's actually just an 180 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 2: indicator that like we're not paying attention to something, you know. 181 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 2: And I think if you ignore the burnout, that's when 182 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 2: you have a midlife crisis or a full on breakdown 183 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 2: or whatever, you know, like a out, Like it's not 184 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,679 Speaker 2: an alignment when you're burned out, and it's maybe it's 185 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 2: worth Maybe it's a relationship. Maybe it's there's something in 186 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 2: a friendship that's really weighing on you that you're not 187 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 2: maybe there's something physical that you need to deal with. 188 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 2: But everyone goes through it, you know, everyone hits a 189 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 2: point of burnout. But I'm right there with you, Like 190 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 2: I feel like I need to say yes to everything, 191 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 2: I need to be at everything. I mean, I feel 192 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 2: less of that the older I get, Like I'm much 193 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 2: more comfortable just being at home. Yeah, but you know, 194 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 2: again back to the social media piece of it too, 195 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 2: there's also the like the emotions that come with like 196 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 2: when your friends go do something and you're like, why 197 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 2: wasn't I invited to do that? And then suddenly like 198 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 2: you feel like you have to start saying yes to 199 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 2: more so that you're not noted. 200 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: It's such a like it's literally a hamster wheel. Didn't 201 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: you tell me that you found some signs of burnout? 202 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: I was killing about these some like indicators because I 203 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: do think I want to say this really fast. I 204 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 1: think we talk about burnout a lot on this podcast, 205 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: and people are probably like, Oh, here we go again. 206 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: But there's so many layers to burnout. And I'm going 207 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: to get to some of the different kinds of labor 208 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: in a second. And if you listened to Wednesday, you 209 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: heard that too. But I want to dive deeper because 210 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 1: it was It was truly life changing for me to 211 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: have these two words entered into my vocabulary. But I 212 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: think that we might talk about burnout a lot, and 213 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: people don't necessarily register places in their life that that 214 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: might be happening them to them too, do you know 215 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: what I mean? Because I don't know that it always 216 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: looks like what we're saying exactly Like when we're saying 217 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 1: burnout and we just want to shut down, it doesn't 218 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 1: always look like that, and the build up definitely doesn't. 219 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: So these are some of the like indicators made. 220 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 2: These are some of the indicators that you might be 221 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 2: reaching burnout. So there's mental signs like if you're chronically 222 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,199 Speaker 2: exhausted even after you've rested, If you've got brain fog, 223 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 2: you're forgetting things, you're having trouble focusing, you have trouble 224 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 2: making decisions. That's a sign of brain fog. Loss of motivation, 225 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,319 Speaker 2: so if everything feels like a chore, or when things 226 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 2: like especially like things that you used to love, like 227 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 2: it feels like a chore to have to do them, 228 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 2: cynicism or detachment, so when you start thinking what's the point, 229 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 2: or you become like emotionally numb, those are the mental 230 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,319 Speaker 2: signs of burnout. Some emotional signs are like your irritable 231 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 2: and short tempered and you snap at small things. Increased 232 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 2: anxiety or dread, So if an obligation's coming up and 233 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,439 Speaker 2: you're worried about that, or like you've got dread about 234 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 2: going into work or getting your work done. Feeling unappreciated, 235 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 2: like no one sees the weight that you're carrying. And hopelessness. 236 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 2: You know, some of these to me read even past burnout, 237 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 2: Like if you're feeling hopeless, that to me is even scarier, 238 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 2: and I think you know it requires a little bit 239 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 2: more than a nap, but the belief that things won't 240 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 2: get better, So that is you're definitely a burnout if 241 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 2: you're feeling that way. Physical signs are headaches and muscle. 242 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,839 Speaker 1: Attensions, so shut up. 243 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 2: Really changes in your sleep, so either insomnia or sleeping 244 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 2: too much, stomach issues, indigestion, nausea, appetite changes, check, weakened 245 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 2: immune system so you get sick more often. There you 246 00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 2: go check to. 247 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 1: This was like excitement, and. 248 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 2: Then behavioral signs. So if you feel like you're pulling 249 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 2: your pulling away and isolating yourself socially and emotionally, if 250 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 2: you're procrastinating and avoiding you can't bring yourself to start 251 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:17,439 Speaker 2: or finished tasks, that's a sign increased reliance on coping behaviors. 252 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 2: So if you're overeating, you're over drinking, you're numbing your senses, 253 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,600 Speaker 2: or you're you know, just staring at your phone and 254 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 2: scrolling like, that's a sign. And decline and work performance. 255 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 2: So it's either like your perfectionism ramps up or you're 256 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 2: doing stuff to overcompensate. 257 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: So, oh my god, you literally just summarized me. 258 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, so much, and I think, you know, sadly, 259 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 2: I think, especially in this country, because are the way 260 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,079 Speaker 2: that we look at, you know, our jobs and how 261 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 2: important work is in the scope of our lives. I 262 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 2: feel like a lot of us are running on fumes 263 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 2: all the time. I mean, it is not even June 264 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 2: and we are talking about burnout. That's crazy. 265 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: Halfway through the air crazy. 266 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 2: And it's funny, like, you know, obviously we love doing this, 267 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 2: that's why we do it. And I said to Kelly, 268 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 2: I was like, it's hard even every week coming up 269 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 2: with something to talk about, and that can feel like burnout. 270 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 2: And she was like, well, I don't want to look 271 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,599 Speaker 2: like we're complaining. I'm like, I'm not complaining about it 272 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 2: because I'm here recording. I like to do it, but 273 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 2: it is It's like when other things are cooking and 274 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 2: you're like, fuck, what are we going to talk about? 275 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 2: Because it's really just to us, you know, like so 276 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 2: we're speaking from like our own perspectives, So that can 277 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 2: feel like a labor. You have to call it a 278 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 2: labor of love, like because it is work, but it's 279 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,199 Speaker 2: you know, I think it's important to talk about things 280 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 2: that are topical. 281 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 1: Well, and I think, like what you just said about 282 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,839 Speaker 1: the podcast off is probably something a lot of people 283 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: can relate to with work. I always equate it to 284 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 1: to like, do you remember when an art artist gets 285 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 1: their first album, and it's like people always talk about 286 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,199 Speaker 1: this in the music business for anyone not in the 287 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: music business, but it's like the first album can be killer, 288 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,680 Speaker 1: you know, and you think about it though they've taken 289 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: years to write it. It's like the build up of 290 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: their whole life has been around this one album. They're 291 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:22,360 Speaker 1: nobody before the album, so they don't have all these obligations. Well, 292 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: then this album comes out and it's super successful. So 293 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: then they're on a tour and they're gone all the time, 294 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: and there people don't really realize. I don't think how 295 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: much artists are like on the go with the demands 296 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: of just like marketing and now social media and touring, 297 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: and it's just hard on your body and you're busy, 298 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: you know, there's not a lot of time for just 299 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 1: you like especially out of the gate. You got to 300 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: run and go. So then the second album time comes 301 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 1: to do and they're like, when am I supposed to 302 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: write this album? Like, and it's not because they don't 303 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 1: love the craft anymore. They don't love music, or they 304 00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: don't love the creativity of writing it. It's that there's 305 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: so many other demands that they can't do it in 306 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 1: the way that they did the first go around, and 307 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 1: so it's just trying to manage it all and it's 308 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: hard again not to get burnt out. 309 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 2: Also, haven't been living a normal life, you know. So 310 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 2: it's it's Adele. I don't know the exact quote, but 311 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 2: she's like her ethos is that like you have to 312 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 2: live to write. 313 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 1: That makes so much sense. That's why she's. 314 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 2: Like five years every it takes her five years to 315 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 2: make a record because she's like, if you're coming out 316 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 2: of a tour cycle and you've been on this hamster 317 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 2: wheel of fame, you're really going to like write songs 318 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 2: that related. What are you going to write about people? 319 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 2: Because you haven't had a chance to like explore your 320 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 2: relationships or like live or you know, travel in a 321 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 2: real way that's not just waking up in a city 322 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 2: and playing a show that night, and then waking up 323 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 2: in the next city and playing the show that night. 324 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 1: So I mean, yeah, well, this is the point of 325 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: that was for me to say like then it's sometimes 326 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: like you do have to find the ways to keep 327 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: your authenticity and do which is why you encourage me 328 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: today you were like, no, I think this is what 329 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: we talk about because that's what you're going through. That's 330 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 1: what I'm going through, so surely some of our listeners 331 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: are as well. But what I was going to reference 332 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 1: with Amana and I was telling you about this earlier 333 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 1: chip again, I'll post this clip on my social media. 334 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 1: I've been shitty about social media again. It's like it's 335 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 1: hard to keep up with. I will say this about 336 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: social media. I do not find the satisfaction or reward 337 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 1: in it that I used to. And so there are 338 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: I've got to find a new strategy because like, it 339 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 1: can be very defeating to me. Except it also feels 340 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 1: like the thing you have to do so people know 341 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: to come listen to this or what you're doing or 342 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: you know, it's like people look at it as almost 343 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: like a website. Now it doesn't even feel fun anymore, 344 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: Like I don't even know what anyone's doing for fun. 345 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: I just know what side hustle they're doing. I don't know. 346 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a braggy platform. 347 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,760 Speaker 1: Yeah it's weird. It's just weird to me. So if 348 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: anyone has tips on that, DM me because I'm just 349 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: feeling like, huh, what do I do about that? But 350 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: I will post this clip because I do you like 351 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: to post the stuff that inspires me. And what I'mnna 352 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: said was burnout, like we often equate it to like 353 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 1: what you and I were talking about with working a lot, 354 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 1: and I do think that that is a big factor, 355 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: Like I can see for myself when work gets really 356 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 1: extreme and crazy, the opportunity for burnout is much higher. 357 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: And also I don't think that's always the only contributor, 358 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 1: because it's not like I just go work all the 359 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,439 Speaker 1: time and life stops, you know. And so it's like, 360 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 1: in addition to a busy work schedule, we have what 361 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,919 Speaker 1: she called invisible labor, and that like has changed my 362 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,560 Speaker 1: whole life. And that was whenever I was having the migraine, 363 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: I was thinking to myself, Oh, I have been trying 364 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,639 Speaker 1: to operate as if my work schedule isn't what it 365 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,679 Speaker 1: is and still show up for all this invisible labor 366 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 1: of my life. And that could be things like doing 367 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 1: the dishes, cleaning your house, making dinner, like if you 368 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,199 Speaker 1: have a family and you make dinner for kids, but 369 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: I feel it for myself too, like of making a 370 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 1: healthy dinner and making sure I'm fed. I know that 371 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 1: sounds crazy, but like I have such a caretaker job 372 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 1: position that often sometimes the thing that gets sacrificed is 373 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: like my own self care, like making sure I'm eating 374 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,439 Speaker 1: or I'm sleeping. And that sounds crazy, but that is 375 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: how extreme it gets sometimes. And then like, yeah, just 376 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 1: any sort of like I would think emotional labor maybe, 377 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 1: like it's that weird, like you're trying to balance life. 378 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: I guess I'll call them responsibilities with work, responsibilities with 379 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,199 Speaker 1: the things that we care about and that matters to 380 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: our heart and just all those things. But that's invisible labor. 381 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: It's not the things you necessarily get paid for, but 382 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: those are the things happening. And so if you start 383 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 1: incorporating that into like, oh here's another reason, maybe I'm 384 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 1: starting to get really irritable or tired like that I 385 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: really resonated with when you sleep but you still wake 386 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,239 Speaker 1: up just like exhausted, Like that for sure happens. Then 387 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: the other things she talked about was tolerations, and that 388 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: describes me for my past for sure. It's like how 389 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: much are we tolerating in certain circumstances. This can be 390 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,880 Speaker 1: any kind of relationship, job, life experience, and how much 391 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,359 Speaker 1: is it draining us? Like are we tolerating too much 392 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:14,440 Speaker 1: in any circumstance to where it's not giving us anything, 393 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: it's only taking. And I do feel like that's something 394 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: like in the past couple years I've really tried to 395 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: address in my life, like am I be in a 396 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,919 Speaker 1: reciprocal situation here? Like is there some benefit to me 397 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 1: and some benefit to them? Or am I carrying all 398 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: the weight to keep this alive in a situation where 399 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 1: I'm not getting anything back? And like, I've made some 400 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 1: drastic changes in my life in that regard, but of 401 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 1: course it can sneak back up. You know. It's like 402 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 1: old habits fucking die hard. So anyway, those are the 403 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: two things she said, And when I really like hit 404 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: that place with the migraine, I started thinking about her 405 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,879 Speaker 1: again and I just heard that voice and I was like, 406 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm literally planning every minute of the day. 407 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,720 Speaker 1: And the truth is is, right now work is so insane. 408 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: I'm not going to be able to do the life 409 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:04,360 Speaker 1: things right now. It's temporary, but I have to let 410 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 1: myself off the hook from certain things, even things I 411 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 1: want to do. But like, you know, like if it 412 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: meant certain dinners or seeing friends or whatever, Like I 413 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: think there's a balance, Like you need to have fun too, 414 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 1: so doing that and also like and you have to eat, 415 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: but like what do I truly have the energy for? 416 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,919 Speaker 1: What is my body truly asking me for today? Is 417 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 1: it a bath? Or is it going out? Is it this? 418 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 1: Or is it you know, it's just like those kind 419 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 1: of things because time is limited and the demands at 420 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:37,439 Speaker 1: work are high, and so sometimes the invisible labor and 421 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 1: the tolerations really need to be extra paid attention to 422 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: because I don't have the space for it. And that 423 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 1: was what she really came to mind for. 424 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's also too It's obviously it's not 425 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,360 Speaker 2: unique to anyone because we all have to Like if 426 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,360 Speaker 2: you don't ever clean your house or you don't ever 427 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,280 Speaker 2: do your dishes, next thing, you know, you're living in 428 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 2: a filthy hovel. Well, right, and so sometimes you can't 429 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 2: ignore those things. So it's like, how do you recognize 430 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 2: those things that are always going to like those things 431 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 2: will always be there, like the work has to be 432 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 2: paid attention to because it's in the moment and it's 433 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 2: what pays your bills and you can't end up homeless. 434 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,159 Speaker 2: So you have to do that. But you also have 435 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,960 Speaker 2: to clean your house, you have to cook, You've got 436 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 2: to do these things. So how can you minimize the 437 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 2: load for yourself in those things? And for me, Like, 438 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 2: I know, one of the reasons why I'm overweight is 439 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 2: because I am really bad about cooking. Like I'll wait 440 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,400 Speaker 2: till the last minute. I'll be like, oh my god, 441 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,159 Speaker 2: if I start cooking out seven thirty, I'm not going 442 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 2: to eat till nine thirty, so I'm just gonna run 443 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,879 Speaker 2: out get something. And so it's like I'm taking in 444 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 2: too many calories. So you know, one of the things 445 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 2: that I've started doing now is it's not necessarily meal prep, 446 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 2: but I'll cook a lot of chicken. So it's like, yeah, 447 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,199 Speaker 2: I always have like the main thing is in the 448 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 2: fridge already cooked, so I can throw it on a salad, 449 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 2: or I can just eat some chicken, or I can 450 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 2: dip it in some mustard and just call it a meal. 451 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 2: And then that that takes away some of the energy 452 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 2: that I would normally have to spend every night to 453 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 2: get that done. Well, simplify what your your like your 454 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 2: menu is so that its habit for me, versus having 455 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,479 Speaker 2: to create like a fancy meal for yourself every night 456 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 2: to keep it exciting, because no necessary. 457 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: The fancy meal is not happening when I'm busy. But 458 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 1: I do think I do do really well when I 459 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: pre prep proteins, like you're saying, because like the sides 460 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: are easy, but the protein is the thing that takes 461 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: the time. Even though I'm really trying to get into grilling, 462 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: I still have been grilling some. But I also think 463 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,639 Speaker 1: to your point, when you realize, Okay, I'm reaching this 464 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 1: place of burnout and I still have all these responsibilities, 465 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,119 Speaker 1: maybe that's the time to go, Okay, well work is 466 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 1: really busy, so like more money is coming in for me, 467 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: that's what that means. And I'm like, yeah, I need 468 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 1: to have a house cleaner right now, or I need 469 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,959 Speaker 1: to you know, like you need to do these Like 470 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: it's the time to be like it's okay to ask 471 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,360 Speaker 1: for help and outsource things like the things that you 472 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,760 Speaker 1: can't quite do. That's why a lot of people do 473 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 1: like those meal services because they're a healthy option and 474 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 1: it's already pre done. 475 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,440 Speaker 2: But well, it's also like those cleaning your house comes 476 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 2: at a cost. So when the physical or emotional cost 477 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,200 Speaker 2: is greater than the monetary cost of having someone come 478 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 2: clean it, that's when the scale needs to tip and 479 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 2: you're like, fuck it, I'm just gonna pay. 480 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: Oh. That is the thing that even during COVID when 481 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 1: I was like cutting back on everything, I mean there 482 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,160 Speaker 1: were obviously a big portion of the time she didn't 483 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 1: come because of COVID, but then once they got back 484 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 1: to it, I was like, that is the thing I 485 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: will always find the money for because it's it's the 486 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,360 Speaker 1: help that I need. Like, even if I'm not busy, 487 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 1: that's not my skill set necessarily the details of cleaning, 488 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 1: and it just helps me maintain like being more organized 489 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 1: in general. But like I will literally find ways to 490 00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: make that money to be able to afford that because 491 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,639 Speaker 1: it's so beneficial to me. But is one of the 492 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 1: things I've learned over the years is like, Okay, this 493 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,959 Speaker 1: one really really helps me because like when my space 494 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 1: is messy too, it really inhibits my creativity. So it's 495 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: like a loop of it either has to like be 496 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: clean and a little bit organized, or I can't work, 497 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: But like, am I giving the energy to cleaning? And 498 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, it's just like totally yeah 499 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: the cycle. So and I realize it's a luxury, but 500 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 1: it's it's also like the thing that I'm dedicated. I 501 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 1: wouldn't cut back on shopping or anything to do that. 502 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can point to the necessity of it too. 503 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 2: I think, like most mothers, my mother was a superhero 504 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 2: growing I still don't. I can't even wrap my head 505 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 2: around the balance and the exhaustion that she must have 506 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 2: been living with and getting everything done at the same time. 507 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 2: But like the house that we grew up in was 508 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,199 Speaker 2: like a old farmhouse and the rooms were big. It 509 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 2: was a big house, Like it was more how than 510 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 2: we needed. And she would clean that thing every Saturday 511 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 2: from top to bottom, and and like you know, and 512 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,639 Speaker 2: having kids running around just like getting it dirty right 513 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 2: behind you. And now she's older and they have a 514 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,159 Speaker 2: cleaning person. And it's not like she doesn't see it 515 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 2: as a luxury. It is one hundred percent of necessity 516 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 2: because she can't move the way that she used to 517 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 2: in order to do all of it. So there are like. 518 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,160 Speaker 1: You know what, I'm gonna start saying that for me too. 519 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 2: It is a necessity for a necessity for you, and 520 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 2: it's like it's it's coming at a different stage in 521 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 2: your life, but you know it's. Yeah, in New York City, 522 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 2: we had one and I definitely could not afford, Like 523 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 2: it was not a luxury, but we were never home, 524 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,199 Speaker 2: so it never made sense for us to be the 525 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 2: ones cleaning it. And it was so affordable up there, 526 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 2: and you just haven't come once a week, so like 527 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 2: they're not spending their whole day doing it cleaning your department. 528 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 2: It's like a half day. They can go do the 529 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,199 Speaker 2: neighbors or whatever. Yeah, but you know, I'm cheap and 530 00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 2: don't have one here, but I like clean along the 531 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 2: way a lot. Like I'll be on the phone and 532 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 2: just walking around my house dusting, like on a business 533 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 2: call or straightening things that ever. 534 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,640 Speaker 1: Reason, I'm want the phone with you. Now, I'm gonna 535 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: be like you dusting. 536 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 2: Wait, oh no, I put it away. But I did 537 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 2: do a little dusting today, you know. 538 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 1: When we were on the phone. 539 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 2: No, oh, yeah, when I was on the phone. 540 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: Well, you're maximizing your time. I wonder about your energy levels, though, 541 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: would you feel burnout or do you feel good right now? 542 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,159 Speaker 2: I feel okay. I mean I definitely am. Burnout is 543 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 2: no stranger to me, you know, I was. I was 544 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 2: Also when I was doing some research, I looked up 545 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:43,239 Speaker 2: ways that like be common forms of burnout. And one 546 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,679 Speaker 2: of one of the things that popped out to me 547 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 2: in terms of like, you know, friendships and family, is 548 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 2: that I am generally just a pretty happy, go lucky 549 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,119 Speaker 2: guy total. And one of the things that I suffer 550 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 2: from is that when I hit burnout is trying to 551 00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,280 Speaker 2: remain that person, you know, trying to keep it on. 552 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 2: And you know, it's because I don't want to ever 553 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 2: be perceived as anything different than what I identify as. Yeah, 554 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,639 Speaker 2: and that's a lot to carry, Like I am a 555 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 2: whole human being. I can be sad, I can be tired. 556 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:19,200 Speaker 2: I cannot be in a good mood. I'm the one 557 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 2: that like puts that upon myself and and I you know, 558 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 2: I'm really grateful for the friends that I have because 559 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 2: I feel like every time I'm in one of those spots, 560 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 2: my friends recognize it and call me out on it, 561 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,919 Speaker 2: and they're like, something's off, Like what's going on and 562 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 2: it forces me to like admit it and recognize it 563 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,439 Speaker 2: and work through it or whatever it is, or just 564 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,160 Speaker 2: be okay with like saying notice some things and sitting 565 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,960 Speaker 2: at home and it's it's pretty rare for me. I'll 566 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 2: admit that I'm lucky, especially considering how crazy my life 567 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:53,439 Speaker 2: can get. Like I somehow have that like energizer bunny gene. 568 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,120 Speaker 2: I thrive off of it. I guess really you kind 569 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 2: of have to. But I thought that was a really 570 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,960 Speaker 2: interesting one because we all have our identities and it's 571 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:06,200 Speaker 2: it's a role really that we you know, sometimes feel 572 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 2: like we've outgrown for the moment and we just need 573 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 2: to step away from it. And that's that's fair to do. 574 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: So I love the part that you said, I'm a 575 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,239 Speaker 1: whole human being because it just it isn't fair to 576 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: expect any one person to be exactly the same at 577 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: all times, right, right, So, like you're gonna have bad 578 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 1: days or be in a bad mood, and like that's okay. 579 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you're still not the fun loving chip. 580 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:27,199 Speaker 2: You know. 581 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,680 Speaker 1: That's funny, it makes us all laugh. But that shouldn't 582 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 1: be an obligation that you feel. 583 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,680 Speaker 2: I should not enough to provide that to anyone. 584 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, correct, yeah all the time. Yeah yeah, I mean 585 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,720 Speaker 1: I was saying to you before the podcast too, Like 586 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 1: it is interesting because a lot of the things that 587 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: I have to watch with myself, they come from a 588 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: good place, just like what I heard you say just then. 589 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: It's like those are really they're gifts of yours. I mean, 590 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 1: you are such a light to be around and you 591 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: make us all like so happy, Like I just love 592 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 1: when you're in the same room as me. There's like 593 00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,960 Speaker 1: an energy you bring, you know, but like if you 594 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: use it too much or you don't allow yourself the 595 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 1: space to have the other emotions, like it does start 596 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,959 Speaker 1: to drain you to have to be that way. And 597 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,200 Speaker 1: like I think that's all things. 598 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 2: The whole burnout thing is funny, just like looking through 599 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 2: some of the things like these are some of the 600 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 2: things that I found that can lead to the unpaid therapist, 601 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 2: Like you know, when you feel like you have these 602 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 2: like guilt laced obligation where you are doing things because 603 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 2: you feel like someone wants you to do it versus 604 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 2: you wanting to do. 605 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 1: It, which I know everyone listening to this podcast has 606 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: to really unless you're one of those people who is 607 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 1: very firm and like, like my boyfriend is like he 608 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 1: does not feel guilty not going to stuff, like he 609 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: doesn't he just because he's just a solo guy, Like 610 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 1: he's very independent. I'm like, what, like, you don't feel 611 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 1: the obligation of this, and I'm like they'll be so 612 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: let down and he's like, well, like it doesn't bother him. 613 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 2: One of my favorite things that happens is like when 614 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 2: I see I have like drinks or dinner on the 615 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 2: calendar with somebody and. 616 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, text you cancel yes, or. 617 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 2: When like and you really don't want I just don't 618 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,880 Speaker 2: have the fucking energy, like, and it normally has nothing 619 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 2: to do with that person. It's just like when I 620 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 2: leave my house tonight, like it's pouring down rain right, 621 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 2: neither of you have followed up, and either they cancel 622 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 2: for you or the night just goes by. 623 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 1: And no one says it's so pathetic though it's love it. 624 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 2: I love it. Or I'll pull the and I probably 625 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 2: shouldn't show up my cards, but I'll pull the like, 626 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,720 Speaker 2: oh my god, I just saw this in my calendar. 627 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 2: I completely forgot it. 628 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 1: I always know when you do that. I'm like no, 629 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,440 Speaker 1: you do not. You do not forget that, do not 630 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 1: play that game with me and night that game. 631 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 2: I guess I can't do that now that I've admitted it. 632 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 1: Jigs up, gigs up. It's just so funny. It's so 633 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 1: interesting because like, when I'm in a healthy headspace, I 634 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 1: will state my truth. I'll say, like I just don't 635 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: I have that emmy. Today, I really communicate openly about 636 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: likes and dislikes or you know, not in a rude way, 637 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 1: but just I'm just honest, And it's so wild. People 638 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 1: respond so much better than we think, Like it's so interesting. Actually, 639 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 1: how then it seems like people trust me more because 640 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 1: like I'm not doing the obligatory hang or the whatever. 641 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 1: If I'm there, that means I want to be there, 642 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: you know, and if I can stay there, it's so 643 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 1: good for everybody, seemingly. But somehow, you know, we kind 644 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,640 Speaker 1: of go back into these old patterns, and I think 645 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: it's so easy just to slip into this, Like I 646 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,280 Speaker 1: don't want to let people down, but it's like, think 647 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 1: about when you have a birthday party, do you really 648 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 1: want anyone there that just does not want to be there? 649 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 1: Like I don't I would rather someone say I just 650 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,520 Speaker 1: don't have an em me today. 651 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: Totally get it, Like you not carrying around the clipboard 652 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,280 Speaker 2: with all the people that are invited to be like 653 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 2: so and so didn't show up. Why weren't they there? 654 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? 655 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: Like, of course you want to come, come, I know. 656 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: But but for some reason, and I know that everyone 657 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: probably feels the pressure to go to these things that 658 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 1: we feel like we should or whatever. 659 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,920 Speaker 2: The next time I do something that's got like an invitation, 660 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,479 Speaker 2: I'm gonna put like a little asterisk it says like 661 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 2: you are not obligated to attend. 662 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 1: I like that. Y. Yeah, it feels good to you. 663 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 2: Feel like like it's tough. It's tough. And then when 664 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 2: you go, like if if you go to something I 665 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 2: should say, if I go to something that I didn't 666 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 2: really want to go to, then I'm there looking for 667 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 2: the opportunity to leave. And then it's like why am 668 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 2: I even here? 669 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 1: It's not for them, it's not fun for you, it's 670 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:37,200 Speaker 1: not I. 671 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 2: Would much rather just be present somewhere that I want 672 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 2: to be. 673 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: I kind of think this this is a whole wrap 674 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 1: up of everything we're saying. Is it's almost like if 675 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: we could all start living with the truth of what 676 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 1: we have to give energetically and really owning that. It 677 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,719 Speaker 1: seems like it would shift a lot, doesn't it. Yeah, Like, 678 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 1: even when it's finally saying out loud, I kind of 679 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 1: hate social media now, and not in the ways of 680 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: like I hate you know, the trolls or whatever, Like 681 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,960 Speaker 1: I just don't enjoy it. I really don't. It does 682 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 1: not feel good to me anymore, and so I've got 683 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 1: to figure something out. But that's the first time I've 684 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 1: said that out loud, because I feel so obligated because 685 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: I've built this big following and it used to be 686 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 1: such a big part of my business and all this stuff. 687 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 1: You know, Isn't that weird that I would feel that way? 688 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 1: But I do. 689 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I think the hard part about all of 690 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 2: this is admitting to ourselves sometimes that we're in a 691 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:35,800 Speaker 2: rut that needs to be explored. 692 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting, and so. 693 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,720 Speaker 2: The shame that comes with that, or the inability to 694 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 2: recognize that is sort of what drives us to full 695 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 2: on burnout, versus being like, well, why don't I feel 696 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,280 Speaker 2: like going tonight, or just admitting yourself like I don't 697 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 2: want to go, like it's fine, Like no one's gonna care. 698 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 2: But I think that is the challenge that most of 699 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 2: us face, is like admitting those things to ourselves. 700 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: Committing and accepting yes, because I like, I want to 701 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 1: think that I'm a super woman who can do it all, 702 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 1: and I do get a lot done in a day 703 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,280 Speaker 1: on good days, you know. But like, if I'm feeling 704 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,800 Speaker 1: the weight, if the symptoms that you read at the 705 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 1: beginning are starting to creep in, that is a time 706 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: to ask myself what the truth is and what am 707 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 1: I not willing to accept right now? Is it really 708 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 1: obligatory or am I putting that pressure on myself? 709 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 2: I mean, I've I've definitely gotten to a place in 710 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,320 Speaker 2: my life where I like to say no a lot more. 711 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,360 Speaker 1: And it's your word of the year. 712 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,800 Speaker 2: It's my word of the year. Of course, I'm struggling 713 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 2: with the decision right now that I like feel like 714 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,160 Speaker 2: I should say no, but I want to say yes. 715 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 1: Do you want to talk it out with me and 716 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 1: the listeners. 717 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 2: Without telling you it's a whole nother podcast. 718 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,279 Speaker 1: Why do you want to say yes? 719 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 2: Though? 720 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,359 Speaker 1: Is it for you or for them? 721 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:50,960 Speaker 2: For me? 722 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:51,840 Speaker 1: Really? 723 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 2: But I'm just like it's one of those things where 724 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,799 Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I regret it, like those sorts of things, 725 00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:00,719 Speaker 2: and it's not like a burnout situation, but it's it's 726 00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 2: funny that we're talking about saying no, and I'm like 727 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 2: wrestling with this decision. So I'm worried that if I 728 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,719 Speaker 2: say no, I will regret saying no. 729 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 1: M that's always a big one too. Yeah, well that 730 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,360 Speaker 1: sounds like a little bit of fomo. 731 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 2: There's a little bit of that. 732 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 1: We'll sidebar after this sidebar. Sorry listeners, Sorry. 733 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,120 Speaker 2: I'll fill you all in once I've made the decision. 734 00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,960 Speaker 1: Okay, that's a guarantee. Well, if we said anything that resonates, 735 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 1: which I hope we have, I feel like this was 736 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,240 Speaker 1: just us kind of talking about where we are today. 737 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,759 Speaker 1: That podcast with Almana is actually so helpful, and she 738 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,440 Speaker 1: also talks about a lot of just other ways, like 739 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:40,920 Speaker 1: finding your purpose. Again, she's an executive coach for massive corporations, 740 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,880 Speaker 1: so she's super well spoken and was really really interesting 741 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,479 Speaker 1: to talk to you, So go check that one out. 742 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 1: You can always email us at the Edge at velvetedge 743 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 1: dot com. I am curious if you guys feel this, 744 00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,720 Speaker 1: Like I know, we can't be the only ones. There's 745 00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: no way, no, everyone feels it at some point. Yeah, 746 00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 1: so email us or you can slide into my DMS. 747 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,360 Speaker 1: I am at Velvet's Edge, Chip, I'm at. 748 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,120 Speaker 2: Chip door shot c H I P D O R 749 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:06,120 Speaker 2: S c H. 750 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 1: And as you guys go into the weekend and you're 751 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 1: living on the edge, I hope you always remember too. 752 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 2: Ad casual moor h