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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, where we

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Speaker 1: discuss all things mental health, personal development, and all the

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Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible

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Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information

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Speaker 1: and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com. And while I hope you love listening to

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Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to

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Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental

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Speaker 1: health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me

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Speaker 1: for session of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. So,

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Speaker 1: of course today I wanted to spend some time chatting

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Speaker 1: with you about the absolute horror that has occurred in

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Speaker 1: Las Vegas earlier this week, and definitely wants to make

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Speaker 1: sure to send some healing thoughts and energy to the

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Speaker 1: families of the lost loved ones and the tons of

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Speaker 1: people who have been impacted by this terrorist act. And

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Speaker 1: I do want to make sure that we are clear

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Speaker 1: and that we call a thing a thing. This was

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Speaker 1: absolutely an act of terrorism, an attempt to unnerve us

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Speaker 1: and to kill innocent people who were simply trying to

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Speaker 1: enjoy themselves. I want you to make sure that you're

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Speaker 1: mindful of any news coverage that tries to spend this

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Speaker 1: in any other way besides a terrorist attacked. Even something

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Speaker 1: like that is an attempt to invalidate our experiences and

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Speaker 1: make us feel as if we are not actually seeing

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Speaker 1: and experiencing what we are. When things like this happened,

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Speaker 1: there really is no easy way to make sense of it,

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Speaker 1: any sense of normalcy. We have chance to be disturbed,

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Speaker 1: and it can be really confusing, UM to even think

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Speaker 1: about how you're supposed to move on when something like

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Speaker 1: this has happened. Some of the common experi variances and

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Speaker 1: symptoms that you may be feeling and loved ones maybe

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Speaker 1: feeling include things like shock, fear, grief, anger, guilt, numbness, sadness,

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Speaker 1: cognitive reactions like confusion, feeling indecisive, worry, shortened attention span.

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Speaker 1: You may even be experiencing some physical symptoms like tension, headaches,

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Speaker 1: um fatigue, feeling kind of edgy, disturbances to your sleep,

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Speaker 1: random aches and pains. And you may be noticing some

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Speaker 1: um differences in your interpersonal reactions UM so getting into

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Speaker 1: conflict with partners and friends easier, or um having increased

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Speaker 1: work or school problems, are feeling like you have been

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Speaker 1: abandoned in some ways. We all react differently, um when

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Speaker 1: things like this happen, and I think many people feel

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Speaker 1: right forly scared. You know, we we don't ever know

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Speaker 1: when things like this are gonna happen, and it feels

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Speaker 1: like these things happen way way too often, and it's

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Speaker 1: it's just senseless, and it it really feels like there

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Speaker 1: are no words to ever accurately describe, um, the the

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Speaker 1: horror and the sense of helplessness. I think that we

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Speaker 1: often feel after something like this happens. And even though

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Speaker 1: it's hard to process and there aren't really many things

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Speaker 1: that we can do to kind of, um immediately do

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Speaker 1: anything to necessarily make ourselves feel better there, I think

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Speaker 1: there are some things that we can do to kind

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Speaker 1: of manage our emotions in the long run as we

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Speaker 1: attempt to move forward. This morning, I had the opportunity

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Speaker 1: to talk with Jackie Reid for the time during the

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Speaker 1: morning show to briefly share some of these tips. I'll

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Speaker 1: share that interview here with you in case you missed it,

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Speaker 1: and then I'll return to give you more information about

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Speaker 1: some strategies to help you take care of yourself. Listen,

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Speaker 1: we all need some joy this morning. Another mass shooting

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Speaker 1: in this country. Um. You know, after watching the coverage

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Speaker 1: for an hour yesterday, you guys, I felt physically anxious,

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Speaker 1: you know, hearing the gunfire and people screaming over and

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Speaker 1: over again on the news. And it's not just that

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Speaker 1: we see so many people suffering after the hurricanes and

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Speaker 1: acts of terrorism around the world. Not just sadness for others,

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Speaker 1: but we're also worried about our own safety and that

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Speaker 1: of our loved ones. Added that the stress about black

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Speaker 1: people dying at the hands of police, and if that

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Speaker 1: we're not we're not enough, ladies. There is the stress

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Speaker 1: of not having a man and the biological clock. It

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Speaker 1: is just too much. Now, ladies, we may go to

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Speaker 1: the doctor for our bodies, but too many of us

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Speaker 1: still don't get help with our minds. Well, this morning,

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Speaker 1: we have some help for that. I'm going inside her

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Speaker 1: story with Dr Joy Hardened Bradford, creator of Therapy for

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Speaker 1: Black Girls dot Com. Goo Morning, Dr Joy, Good morning.

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Speaker 1: I started off by saying we needed some joy this morning,

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Speaker 1: and here you are. So let's begin with the shooting

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Speaker 1: in Vegas as I as I said, you know, it

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Speaker 1: left me feeling physically anxious. Um, just hearing the people

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Speaker 1: screaming in the gunfire on the news for an hour.

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Speaker 1: I had to turn it off. And you know, and

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Speaker 1: I don't even have a connection directly to that tragedy.

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Speaker 1: How do we deal with that stress if we're feeling

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Speaker 1: it right now because many people are. Yeah. Absolutely, And

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Speaker 1: I think you bring up a very good point. Um,

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Speaker 1: watching the news for an hour related to the kinds

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Speaker 1: of things, it's probably not the best idea because those

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Speaker 1: imaging images can be really distressing for us even if

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Speaker 1: we weren't there. Um. So it's really good to take

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Speaker 1: breaks from like social media and the news because those

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Speaker 1: images and like the sounds really can kind of permeate

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Speaker 1: our mind and cause us moisturess. Just doing something make

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Speaker 1: a difference donating blood, um, you know, uh, donating to

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Speaker 1: a charity, for example, If if your focus is on

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Speaker 1: you know, what's going on in Puerto Rico and Virgin

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Speaker 1: Islands and places like that, does that make a difference

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Speaker 1: in how you deal with the stress, that stress that

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Speaker 1: you have. It absolutely does, because it gets you out

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Speaker 1: of your own mind and gets you focused on giving

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Speaker 1: to others, which is always a good thing. Now, I

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Speaker 1: talked specifically about Black women because we do carry a

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Speaker 1: lot of stress, um in addition to what's going on,

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Speaker 1: you know, with others around the world. We have a

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Speaker 1: lot of stress in our lives, but we don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: get the help for Why is it that a lot

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Speaker 1: of Black women don't take their mental health um that seriously.

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Speaker 1: I think there's still a lot of stigma related to

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Speaker 1: mental health and counseling. People don't quite understand what it is. UM.

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Speaker 1: It feels really weird to go to this stranger and

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Speaker 1: tell them kind of all of your close personal business. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, a lot of us grew up kind of

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Speaker 1: with the idea of what goes on in our house,

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Speaker 1: states in our house, and I think that that's sometimes

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Speaker 1: prevents us from seeking the help that we need related

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Speaker 1: to mental health. I noticed that a lot of black

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Speaker 1: women that I've spoken with have trouble finding a therapist

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Speaker 1: that they feel that they can trust, um and share

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Speaker 1: their innermost secrets with. And a lot of times they

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Speaker 1: want that to be another black woman. Why is it

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Speaker 1: so difficult to find or or how do you go

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Speaker 1: about finding a therapist that you connect with. Yeah, so,

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Speaker 1: I mean just in the field generally, there are not

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Speaker 1: as many black women therapists. You know, there are quite

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Speaker 1: a few of us, but not enough of course, the

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Speaker 1: service everybody who may want services. Um. So, what I

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Speaker 1: have done on my website is created a therapist directory,

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Speaker 1: so you can go to Therapy for Black Girls dot

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Speaker 1: com slash directory and find listings of therapists in your state.

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Speaker 1: UM who many of them who have been recommended by

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Speaker 1: other black women who have gone to them. Um. You know.

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Speaker 1: So I'm really trying to get the word out and

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Speaker 1: get as many people signed up because my experience has

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Speaker 1: been like you mentioned, um, black women typically want another

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Speaker 1: black woman therapist, and so if it's really hard to

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Speaker 1: find them, then that is just another barrier to them

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Speaker 1: not seeking the services they need. Do you think the

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Speaker 1: media is doing a good job of of helping us

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Speaker 1: get over that hump of seeking therapy? I know? Uh,

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Speaker 1: with you know this kind of situation with Jackie interviewing you,

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Speaker 1: or even the TV show Insecure has one of the

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Speaker 1: characters seeking therapy and going through her sessions. Are we

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Speaker 1: doing a good job? I think we're doing a better job,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was really impressed to see that on

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Speaker 1: Insecure this season, Um, you know, because I think it

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Speaker 1: helps to kind of pull back the curtain on what

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Speaker 1: happens when you actually go to a therapist office. Oh interesting, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that that's a really good question. Simple about that because

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Speaker 1: that was um you know, you see it sprinkled out

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Speaker 1: here and there throughout the media with with entertainment and

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Speaker 1: television shows, but not often with black characters. So I

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Speaker 1: was happy to see that on Insecure. So how do

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Speaker 1: you know Dr Joy that you're connecting um with the

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Speaker 1: right therapist? Is it like um, you know, finding a

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Speaker 1: caterer for an event for example? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Should you interview people or if you find the number,

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Speaker 1: you know, the name and number for a therapist, did

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Speaker 1: you just go to that therapist or should you go

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Speaker 1: through a process of interviewing them? Yes. So, most therapists

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Speaker 1: offer like a ten to fifty minute phone consultation so

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Speaker 1: that you can ask any questions that you have and

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Speaker 1: get to know a little bit more about them. Most

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Speaker 1: therapists also have websites where you can kind of look

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Speaker 1: through their materiality with the um what they specialize in.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes they also have videos. But it also it definitely

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Speaker 1: is an interviewing process because you want to make sure

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Speaker 1: that you're gonna feel comfortable actually sharing with this person

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Speaker 1: and telling them, you know, some really deep personal things.

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Speaker 1: And how do you know really quickly, Dr Joy that

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Speaker 1: you may need therapy, what the benefits We can all

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Speaker 1: benefit from therapy, but definitely any signs of distress. So

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Speaker 1: if you are noticing that you're not sleeping, not eating,

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Speaker 1: and anything that's a more difference from how you typically

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Speaker 1: move is a good sign that you need therapy. All right,

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Speaker 1: thank you, right, Dr Joy Harden Bradford And the website

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Speaker 1: is Therapy for Black Girls dot com. Check it out,

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Speaker 1: you guys, Thank you, Dr Thank you. So that was

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Speaker 1: my conversation this morning with Jackie where I talked about

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Speaker 1: the impact of the Las Vegas shooting on our mental

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Speaker 1: health as well as how to find a therapist if

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Speaker 1: you need one. I want to also expound on that

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Speaker 1: tip more now. So the first one, um, and if

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Speaker 1: you've been listening to the podcast a while, you know

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Speaker 1: that my first tip will be, of course, to monitor

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Speaker 1: and manage how much time you are spending looking at

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Speaker 1: social media and the news, um. And I know of

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Speaker 1: course we want to be connected and to be sure

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Speaker 1: that we're up on the latest updates about this tragedy.

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Speaker 1: But the constant connection can really be damaging. So continuously

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Speaker 1: scrolling through Facebook and Twitter and UM checking seeing in

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Speaker 1: and whatever your website is, your news website is of choice, UM,

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Speaker 1: those kinds of things can be really damaging, particularly if

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Speaker 1: it involves you watching the footage from the actual attack

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Speaker 1: where you see the crowd literally running for their lives.

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Speaker 1: And I think because as a society we are exposed

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Speaker 1: to so much violence and gore, it sometimes feels like

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Speaker 1: it's okay to watch these things UM over and over again,

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Speaker 1: but it actually is very, very unhealthy and it's very

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Speaker 1: damaging to your psyche. Visual memories are our most powerful memories,

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Speaker 1: and so we definitely have to be careful with what

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Speaker 1: we're consuming related to these images. The second step is

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Speaker 1: allowing yourself to feel what you're feeling UM. In the episode,

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Speaker 1: sometimes you gotta feel the fields. I definitely talked about

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Speaker 1: UM how it's important after things like this to make

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Speaker 1: sure that you're allowing yourself to actually feel whatever feelings

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Speaker 1: come up for you. You may have an immediate reaction

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Speaker 1: to push your feelings away or to be embarrassed by

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Speaker 1: your feelings, but absimately you want to allow yourself to

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Speaker 1: feel whatever you're feeling without any judgment, but instead coming

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Speaker 1: from a place of curiosity towards your feelings. So, for example,

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Speaker 1: you may notice that you're feeling more anxious this week,

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Speaker 1: which I think a lot of us are. Instead of

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Speaker 1: saying things to yourself like why are you anxious? You

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Speaker 1: live all the way in South Carolina, far away from

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Speaker 1: where this happened, and you're fine, There's nothing for you

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Speaker 1: to be worried about. Instead of saying something like that,

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Speaker 1: you could try saying something like, hmm, I'm noticing I'm

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Speaker 1: much more anxious this week. Where is this coming from?

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Speaker 1: And then I want you to interrogate the feeling. Do

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Speaker 1: you feel scared? Do you feel angry? Do you feel isolated?

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Speaker 1: What is the feeling that's actually coming up for you?

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Speaker 1: It's much more effective to try to explore where our

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Speaker 1: feelings come from as opposed to trying to not have

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Speaker 1: them are trying to rationalize why they're wrong. The third

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Speaker 1: strategy or a step that you can use to try

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Speaker 1: to um kind of make as much sense of this

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Speaker 1: as possible and manage your emotions is to try to

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Speaker 1: maintain your routine. So the goal of terrorism is to

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Speaker 1: make us too afraid to continue to live our daily lives.

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Speaker 1: So when you feel able to, I want you to

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Speaker 1: resume your typical routine. And it's okay if you feel

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Speaker 1: fearful of attending events with large crowds or places where

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Speaker 1: there will be loud noise for a while. All of

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Speaker 1: that is totally normal. I think my very first reaction

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Speaker 1: after I heard something heard that this happened was, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to any of the things this weekend

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Speaker 1: that we planned to do with the boys. But I

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Speaker 1: want to challenge myself and you um to kind of

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Speaker 1: continue to live despite all of these things. The best

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Speaker 1: way to prevail in spite of terror is to continue

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Speaker 1: to thrive and to take back our individual sense of power.

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Speaker 1: And the fourth thing that I think is really important

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Speaker 1: to consider is to contact your legislators about gun control.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not exactly sure what it's going to take

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Speaker 1: for our government to realize that this type of large

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Speaker 1: scale tragedy is absolutely a threat to public health that

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Speaker 1: could largely be prevented and aided by stricter laws related

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Speaker 1: to gun control. So I want you to contact your

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Speaker 1: legislators and ensure that your voice is heard. Make sure

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Speaker 1: that when it's an election time local elections are coming

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Speaker 1: up for some of us. UM, when it's election time,

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Speaker 1: make sure that you're asking the candidates about this they're

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Speaker 1: asking for your votes and lobbying for your votes. To

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Speaker 1: make sure that you know and get a sense of

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Speaker 1: where they stand on this topic and their plans to

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Speaker 1: act on your behalf, and to make sure that your

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Speaker 1: voice is heard. In the show notes, I am going

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Speaker 1: to add a link to several helpful resources that may

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Speaker 1: be of use to you. UM. The first one is

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Speaker 1: a therapist in Las Vegas who is offering some crisis

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Speaker 1: stabilization UM sessions brief sessions for UM children between the

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Speaker 1: ages of seven and seventeen. UM, So, any children in

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Speaker 1: the Las Vegas area who may have been impacted by

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Speaker 1: this UM and want to have a session with this therapist,

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Speaker 1: that will be contact information there if you want it. UM.

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Speaker 1: I'll also include some information for any therapists who are

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Speaker 1: trauma trained, trained to deal with these kinds of things. UM.

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Speaker 1: The Mandalay Bay Casino, which is where this happened. UM

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Speaker 1: is asking for crisis counselors to come there and volunteer

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Speaker 1: their time to help. So I'll include that information as

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Speaker 1: well as well as a couple of handouts from the

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Speaker 1: American Psychological Association and that discuss UM again more tips

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Speaker 1: for for how to UM recover after something like this happens,

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Speaker 1: as well as tips for talking with your children UM.

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Speaker 1: So if children are watching and kind of up to

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Speaker 1: date on what's happening, or if they hear other kids

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Speaker 1: talking about it at school, UM, you want to make

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Speaker 1: sure that you have some UH tips and strategies and

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Speaker 1: or equipped with those things to talk with your children

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Speaker 1: about that. If you are looking for a therapist in

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Speaker 1: your area, do make sure that you check out the

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Speaker 1: therapist directory that's on the website. You can find that

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com backslash directory. And

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Speaker 1: if you are a therapist and you have not added

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Speaker 1: your practice information to the directory, I would invite you

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Speaker 1: to do that. I'd really like to have as many

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Speaker 1: therapists across the country in the directory so that people

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Speaker 1: can get the help they need and can get connected

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Speaker 1: to you easily, so you can find that information. If

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Speaker 1: you'd like to add your practice information at Therapy for

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Speaker 1: Black Girls dot com backslash being listed. If you have

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Speaker 1: additional tips, things that have helped you to kind of

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Speaker 1: maintain your sanity in the wake of this, and you

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Speaker 1: want to share with others, please make sure to use

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Speaker 1: the hashtag TBG in session. You can find us on

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Speaker 1: Twitter at Therapy for the Number four b Girls, and

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Speaker 1: you can find us on Instagram and Facebook at Therapy

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Speaker 1: for a Black Girl. And if you're interested in joining

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Speaker 1: the Facebook group that has at least a thousand other

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girl podcast fans, you can find that

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com backslash tribe. As always,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to continue in this conversation with you

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Speaker 1: all real soon. Take care of yourself and each other.

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Speaker 1: Actor actor actor factor