WEBVTT - BONUS: Dating Icks & Green Flags

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<v Speaker 1>Hibb it is Lalakhan. Welcome to the Bonus episode. Welcome Teeter.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm back.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm back. I literally I almost wish you would have

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<v Speaker 1>been here during the Sabrina Zohar episode. So I had

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<v Speaker 1>Sabrina Zohar on the podcast for Wednesday's episode, regular old episode.

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<v Speaker 1>She was amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>Did she put your guard down? Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Actually what was wild was I've had conversations with dating experts,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't have conversations with them to go out

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<v Speaker 1>and try to meet somebody, but it's very much about

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<v Speaker 1>the female and how she attracts a man, right, And

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<v Speaker 1>to me, it always feels very it feels antiquated, and

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<v Speaker 1>it feels like a game. And when I said this

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<v Speaker 1>to Sabrina, she literally said, if you play the game,

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to attract a player. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what the f fuck? My mind is bone. It's so true,

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<v Speaker 1>like all of these rules like don't text back unless

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<v Speaker 1>it's been this amount of time, don't break eye contact

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<v Speaker 1>for five seconds from across the bar because that's how

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<v Speaker 1>they know you're intro like all of these things where

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my god, this is so much to remember,

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<v Speaker 1>and you almost feel overwhelmed and defeated if you do

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<v Speaker 1>all of these steps and then it doesn't work out,

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<v Speaker 1>because sometimes it just doesn't work out because it just

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<v Speaker 1>don't work out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>She not only talked about dating tips and advice, but

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<v Speaker 1>more so than anything, it was about like, who are

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<v Speaker 1>you when you go into dating and you feel a

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<v Speaker 1>certain way? What does that bring you back to?

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<v Speaker 2>How funny that when everybody says until like, you need

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<v Speaker 2>to fall in love with yourself to fall in love

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<v Speaker 2>with someone else, right, And that's what she brought it

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<v Speaker 2>back to, Is you right? You looking for? What are

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<v Speaker 2>you really wanting?

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<v Speaker 1>Right? And she said, I am more scared of losing

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<v Speaker 1>myself than losing someone else. Like in dating, who cares

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<v Speaker 1>if you lose them? Because if I lose you while

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<v Speaker 1>trying to keep myself, then I would you know that's

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<v Speaker 1>a win. Yeah. So for this episode, God, I wish

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<v Speaker 1>you would. Well, you can listen to the episode. It

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<v Speaker 1>was so good.

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<v Speaker 2>I cried, did you yes? Is that why the eyes puffy?

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<v Speaker 1>Fuck you?

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<v Speaker 2>I only said because you said it.

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<v Speaker 1>What am I gonna do once the pre cancer is gone?

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<v Speaker 1>I'll have no reason not Right now I can be like,

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<v Speaker 1>fuck you, it's pre cancer.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll find something.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually am feeling great about the eye. The eye

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<v Speaker 1>is gonna be taken care of and.

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<v Speaker 2>The drops her here. You're just about your business now,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm all about my business.

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<v Speaker 1>So I asked the podcast page all of our friends,

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<v Speaker 1>what are dating green flags and dating X? What are

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<v Speaker 1>some of Like, what would you say your green flags are?

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<v Speaker 2>And what I do you know? I don't even know

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<v Speaker 2>if I have one because I don't know what I'm

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<v Speaker 2>looking for. You just fucked me up with like if

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<v Speaker 2>you play the game, you're like you're going to attract

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<v Speaker 2>those type of people. I have no idea what like

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<v Speaker 2>my I mean, a green flag for me is like

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<v Speaker 2>a woman that is like family oriented and close with

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<v Speaker 2>her own family. Okay, that's a big green flag for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Red flags not even like like a red flag, but

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<v Speaker 1>like if you were on a date with someone, what's like, augh,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know my pet because I feel like a

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<v Speaker 1>red flag is like abrupt. A red flag is like

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<v Speaker 1>is like.

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<v Speaker 2>When you when your social media is you think define you.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, that's a big it in a red flag

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<v Speaker 2>for me?

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<v Speaker 1>Can you elaborate, like what do you like they care about.

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<v Speaker 2>Followers like they're constantly on like they're trying to be

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<v Speaker 2>somebody like that I have followers or I need my

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<v Speaker 2>page to look a certain that's an for me. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know why, but it just is like somebody

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<v Speaker 2>too involved in their social media.

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<v Speaker 1>What if.

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<v Speaker 2>Being paid, If it's a job, then I get it.

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<v Speaker 2>But like if I'm just dating this girl and she's

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<v Speaker 2>wanting to be, you know, an influencer and things like that,

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<v Speaker 2>like they're depending on how they go about it, there

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<v Speaker 2>can be an ick.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I would. I could definitely, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Rock at a hard spot for sure, because you can

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<v Speaker 2>want to do that and hold yourself well. But I've

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<v Speaker 2>seen other girls want to be that and crumble at

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<v Speaker 2>crumble everything.

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<v Speaker 1>To be that okay, you know right, and like if

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<v Speaker 1>they don't get enough likes, it's a let down.

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<v Speaker 2>It wasn't yeah like I need a better like I

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<v Speaker 2>need better photos, I need this. It's like, no, you

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<v Speaker 2>just need to be authentic and you'll get them.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I tell you what an ick for me for

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<v Speaker 1>you is.

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<v Speaker 2>What the hair the girl?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't mean you, but I'm saying when I watched

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<v Speaker 1>like date certain girls, a certain girl where I got

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<v Speaker 1>an ick on your behalf was when someone came out

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<v Speaker 1>to visit you, and I was a little.

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<v Speaker 2>Skeptical, Oh this is new ish.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I was not into her at all. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm protective of you, but like I want you

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<v Speaker 1>to find somebody. But I'm like, there was a plethora

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<v Speaker 1>of things that drove me crazy. Okay, But then I

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<v Speaker 1>got a little worried because your bff Landing came out

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<v Speaker 1>and he was like, Yo, did you see this girl's

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<v Speaker 1>social media? And I was like no, And there were

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<v Speaker 1>a plethora of photos that she had posted of the

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<v Speaker 1>two of you.

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<v Speaker 2>And she goes, can I post these? I was in

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<v Speaker 2>a meeting and I didn't even like look at the text,

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<v Speaker 2>like it was one photo and it was like me

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<v Speaker 2>and she was like can I post this? And I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, yeah, like I thought it was one photo?

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<v Speaker 1>No, it was pretty much a fucked seven to be exact,

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<v Speaker 1>seven photos. I was like, this is so weird because

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<v Speaker 1>we're such a tight knit family and I've met this

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<v Speaker 1>girl one time. She like didn't talk a lot. She

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<v Speaker 1>was very kind, very kind and for someone else, great

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<v Speaker 1>for us, nah, And yes I may be a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit intense, but.

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<v Speaker 2>It was It's gonna be really fun, guys for me

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<v Speaker 2>to find a wife.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not true. Can I tell you this girl? All

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<v Speaker 1>the producers are laughing, But this girl had like we

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<v Speaker 1>had so much in common.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you did. I That is one thing.

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<v Speaker 1>The way she did she fulfilled the Eastern but she

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<v Speaker 1>didn't fulfill me.

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<v Speaker 2>But that right there, And see, you're bringing up a

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<v Speaker 2>red flag for me. Like that was a red flag

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<v Speaker 2>when I was like, you did have like you're a

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<v Speaker 2>mom to two kids, mom of two kids. It's how

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<v Speaker 2>are you not talking? You know, like there was not with.

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<v Speaker 1>The baby daddy, so we know co parenting situation.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like there was a lot of things. And that

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<v Speaker 2>was my red flag of if I bring you around

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<v Speaker 2>my family, you have to make an effort with my family,

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<v Speaker 2>right you know. Yeah, And that's the other thing. And

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<v Speaker 2>I told you it's not going to be easy for

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<v Speaker 2>me to introduce women to you. Most people know who

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<v Speaker 2>you are. It is like, could you imagine me going

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<v Speaker 2>on a date with this girl and her brother was

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<v Speaker 2>Justin Bieber or something crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, I haven't the equivalent of Justin Bieber.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just say baby, baby, baby, shout out Justin Bieber.

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<v Speaker 2>Shout out justin people, we stand with you, but we do.

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<v Speaker 2>We do. If you need a friend, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So someone if they're like their brother or.

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<v Speaker 2>The pub, Like shit, I don't know how to talk

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<v Speaker 2>to them, what to say. They're going to be judging me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking, even though you're not, because you're in a

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<v Speaker 2>family dynamic, you can take yourself out and you are

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<v Speaker 2>with your brother, just like she was just nervous. Of course, Lauren.

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<v Speaker 2>Everybody I talked to, they're like everybody, They're like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>in your sister's la La I'm like yeah, like, ah,

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<v Speaker 2>this one's ruined already. I need someone to not know

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<v Speaker 2>who the fuck you are.

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<v Speaker 1>That's easy, Sid, there's seven billion, actually I think there's

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<v Speaker 1>eight now billion people on the planet.

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<v Speaker 2>I gotta do fly in. I gotta fly into a

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<v Speaker 2>different country.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, though, Sabrina Zohar said, lot of luck

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<v Speaker 1>out of the country, lots of luck. America hard.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm glad that she said that, because now I

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<v Speaker 2>always thought I was like, they're just hard in this country,

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<v Speaker 2>not even in La Utah. It's hard in Salt Lake City, Utah.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I'm it is just hard.

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<v Speaker 1>She said that dating in general is hard, but being

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<v Speaker 1>in LA, she said, LA and New York both add

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<v Speaker 1>like a more intense layer.

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<v Speaker 2>Well for sure, because they're you're the people that you're

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<v Speaker 2>wanting to be with or everybody wants to be somebody,

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<v Speaker 2>so it's not their first.

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<v Speaker 1>Right thing, and they come to a big city for

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<v Speaker 1>opportunity and like.

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<v Speaker 2>And if I'm going to date you and you're affecting

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<v Speaker 2>my opportunity, I can't be with you.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, your friend Calvin Cobb mm hmm, he's out in

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<v Speaker 1>these streets dating.

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<v Speaker 2>He is a day term.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a dater, but I really respect his boundaries he's got.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's the thing, like he doesn't just date, like

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<v Speaker 2>he won't even like just go out on a date

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<v Speaker 2>with a like a girl. He has to build, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>something that he is going to go out. He's intentional.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's something I'm trying to take from him, is

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<v Speaker 2>like he'll like a girl and he'll be like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to take her on a date this and that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I need to build more on it. So when

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<v Speaker 2>we do do that, it's there's a foundation, right and

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<v Speaker 2>I can respect that. But he's a dater.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to know what my green flags are A dater. No,

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<v Speaker 1>my green flags are pretty much everything I'm not actually.

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<v Speaker 2>But then you want them.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I need you to be consistent. I need

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<v Speaker 1>you to honor commitment. Don't cancel all you embed at

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<v Speaker 1>six thirty, all of the green flags and at least

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<v Speaker 1>one face tattoo.

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<v Speaker 2>Really, I was just gonna say, girls with like a

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<v Speaker 2>little tattoo right here, I showed you very cute. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not when you're fully tattooed and stuff and then

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<v Speaker 2>you throw a face it is a look, and I

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<v Speaker 2>love like a girl with no tattoos or they just

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<v Speaker 2>like one and then there's one on the face.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like a tiny cit one. Yeah, there's a green

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<v Speaker 1>flag for easton my My green flag is I would

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<v Speaker 1>say calm energy. Yes, the moment that I.

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<v Speaker 2>Have chaos, you need to bring me peace.

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<v Speaker 1>I break down because I'm high strung. Yes, I'm high strong.

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<v Speaker 1>When the wind blows a certain way, I get flustered

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<v Speaker 1>by things, and I think someone who can come in

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<v Speaker 1>and kind of calm the waters for me would be

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<v Speaker 1>which I think that that's just more of.

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<v Speaker 2>I know what you need. I think I know you

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<v Speaker 2>need a I think you need your first boyfriend ever

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<v Speaker 2>he calm, protect and not even like the age, like

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<v Speaker 2>that's the thing, Like, I just know that that's who

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<v Speaker 2>he was, no matter if he was eighteen or thirty eight.

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<v Speaker 2>He was just a calm human being totally. That is

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<v Speaker 2>what you needed. And he also what he did that

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<v Speaker 2>was so great and he's the only one that could

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<v Speaker 2>do it. And I'm not kidding you. When you were

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<v Speaker 2>fucking pissed and I'm using the effort, yes, to the

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<v Speaker 2>point where like your head was about to pop off

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<v Speaker 2>with steam blowing out of it, everyone's moving, and your

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<v Speaker 2>first boyfriend would poke the bear to the point where

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<v Speaker 2>your anger would turn into laughter and it would's gone. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you would come and apologize to the family.

0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:29.520
<v Speaker 2>That doesn't happen anymore. But your first boyfriend ever, still

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.680
<v Speaker 2>in love with him till this day. And the way

0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.840
<v Speaker 2>you like he treated you, but the way you acted

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:39.560
<v Speaker 2>with him, you were so fun. Yeah, no, no experience,

0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:41.200
<v Speaker 2>but that's who you need.

0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:45.200
<v Speaker 1>I think so too. And now my ick is something

0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:51.200
<v Speaker 1>that I just realized from the podcast with Sabrina. When

0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:56.360
<v Speaker 1>a dude comes on too heavy like we yes, which

0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.160
<v Speaker 1>I know a love bomber, but for some reason, what

0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:01.160
<v Speaker 1>it has to do with me. I'm like, it's love

0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 1>bombing for you, but we're getting married. Like she said,

0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know you. Why are you talking to me

0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:10.920
<v Speaker 1>this way? I think that's gonna be the new it.

0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:12.920
<v Speaker 2>I wish I was. You don't know me.

0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Why would you say you want to spend so much

0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:18.080
<v Speaker 1>time with me? You don't know me at all.

0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.559
<v Speaker 2>I wish I was there. And I'm coming from like

0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.600
<v Speaker 2>a point of maybe, like for me and maybe other guys,

0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 2>sometimes when you get a girl's attention that you actually like,

0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:29.160
<v Speaker 2>you don't know if you'll lose it, so you do

0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.400
<v Speaker 2>want to try to spend a lot of time. And

0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.959
<v Speaker 2>that is a huge thing, that is it?

0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Yes, they're toxic, toxic individuals.

0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:38.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh right, maybe I'm toxic too.

0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:41.600
<v Speaker 1>You're not toxic. I don't think you're toxic.

0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't either, But I don't love bomb. I've worked

0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:44.679
<v Speaker 2>on that.

0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:46.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh did you used to be a love bomber?

0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.880
<v Speaker 2>I did my ex? Yeah, it worked out well. But

0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:51.040
<v Speaker 2>I love bombed her for sure.

0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:52.839
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't think you love bombed her. I

0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:53.880
<v Speaker 1>think you actually loved her.

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.319
<v Speaker 2>No, I did love her, Yeah, I loved her.

0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't talk about her, right, now that's not love bombing.

0:13:59.880 --> 0:14:02.120
<v Speaker 2>You actually loved her.

0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:05.439
<v Speaker 1>These men I meet one time and they're texting every day,

0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:07.200
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, oh my godness.

0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:12.560
<v Speaker 2>It's so bad. I haven't done that. You're right, I

0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:14.960
<v Speaker 2>know you Okay? When they text me back, I'm like,

0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:16.520
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, too much.

0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:24.200
<v Speaker 1>We also have toxic traits. Jessica Underscore Jane Underscore Baker say,

0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:27.360
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't want a relationship with a girl who f's on

0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:30.080
<v Speaker 1>the first date but then proceed to try it on you.

0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:37.520
<v Speaker 2>That is a fucking dick. I really don't like the.

0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Girl who like gives it up on the first date. Hey,

0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:41.400
<v Speaker 1>you want to come back and watch a movie? What

0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:41.840
<v Speaker 1>are these?

0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 2>I can squeeze your ass? It's like, that is it?

0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 1>Girl?

0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't want. I am forming into what I don't want,

0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:52.840
<v Speaker 2>like you're I don't want to sleep with you. And

0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:53.880
<v Speaker 2>then I'm like, oh my god.

0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:58.600
<v Speaker 1>It's the land of mirror, honey. We're all just mirrors

0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:02.760
<v Speaker 1>walking around looking at each other, projecting the fuck out

0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:09.800
<v Speaker 1>of life. Jessica Jane Baker's funny Jen Hurley, Rice Green

0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:16.320
<v Speaker 1>Flag Loves Animals, Red Flag entitled in any way, Get

0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:17.960
<v Speaker 1>I get entitled A little bit.

0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:20.760
<v Speaker 2>I know somebody very entitled. Can you say their name

0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.720
<v Speaker 2>or no, we'll keep it under wraps.

0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:42.240
<v Speaker 1>Boom, No, that was so funny. Ava Agallo says, Green

0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Flag loves animals.

0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:46.280
<v Speaker 2>Did you read some.

0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:49.320
<v Speaker 1>People who love to different Green flag loves animals.

0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:51.600
<v Speaker 2>That is a big green flag for me. If you

0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.920
<v Speaker 2>don't treat animals, well, I know you don't.

0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, can I tell you a story?

0:15:58.000 --> 0:15:58.680
<v Speaker 2>I want to hear it.

0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:05.840
<v Speaker 1>I was intimate on a few occasions with this guy

0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:13.280
<v Speaker 1>who was is the son of a very very famous singer.

0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:17.920
<v Speaker 1>He was fun, he was cool, he was hot, came

0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:20.080
<v Speaker 1>over to the apartment. It was like maybe a sixth

0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:23.640
<v Speaker 1>date time hanging out. We always drank. That was super fun.

0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:29.960
<v Speaker 1>My dog Lily was outside barking. I lived on Olympics,

0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:32.200
<v Speaker 1>still outside barking.

0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:32.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh.

0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.160
<v Speaker 1>He kept telling her to come in, Yes, he kept

0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.080
<v Speaker 1>telling her to come in. She was having a heyday,

0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:41.120
<v Speaker 1>highlight of her day and night. When she came in,

0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:46.440
<v Speaker 1>he smacked her on the ass. When I tell you,

0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.800
<v Speaker 1>I was so livid. I almost caught a case. Kicked

0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:52.400
<v Speaker 1>him out of the apartment, never spoke to him again,

0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:56.600
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, wow, I literally could go to prison.

0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Right now. I cannot chase him out of here.

0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:01.400
<v Speaker 2>No, he will be dead. And that's the for somebody

0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:03.720
<v Speaker 2>to feel like they can treat an animal that isn't

0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:05.639
<v Speaker 2>theirs that way. Yeah.

0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.160
<v Speaker 1>And then and then he repleted the next day over

0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.240
<v Speaker 1>text to apologize and that he was drinking. Guess what,

0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.440
<v Speaker 1>when you're drinking makes you want to abuse an animal?

0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:19.639
<v Speaker 1>Hit my fucking dog. They should probably stop drinking.

0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:24.640
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, it's I'm going very far down a hole.

0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:27.320
<v Speaker 2>But it's like, you know, you see all these murder

0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:31.520
<v Speaker 2>cases and it's like you animals. It's like, yeah, no,

0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:32.119
<v Speaker 2>you're weird.

0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:35.240
<v Speaker 1>No, But I love that this person said the red

0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:38.520
<v Speaker 1>flag is doesn't like animals, So the green flag is

0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.840
<v Speaker 1>you better love animals and red flag if you don't

0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:46.359
<v Speaker 1>like them, Dawn, Yeah, Raymi Kimi. Green flag makes you laugh,

0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:50.399
<v Speaker 1>the biggest of green flags. That is all I want

0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:54.040
<v Speaker 1>in life is just laugh. I just want to laugh

0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:56.680
<v Speaker 1>all the time. When I was pregnant with Sosa and

0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:58.880
<v Speaker 1>I had belly laughs, Like I think that's why she's

0:17:58.880 --> 0:17:59.280
<v Speaker 1>so fun.

0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:01.760
<v Speaker 2>You really had a lot of belly laughs.

0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.240
<v Speaker 1>The biggest like, I just want to be around someone.

0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:08.280
<v Speaker 1>Here's the thing, like sex, goes away, looks go away.

0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 1>If you could be with someone who truly makes you

0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.920
<v Speaker 1>laugh and you have a good time together where it's

0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:19.640
<v Speaker 1>like just effortless that will carry you through the darkest

0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:20.119
<v Speaker 1>of days.

0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:23.560
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yeah, a good belly laugh.

0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:27.639
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean I haven't. The dawn made me laugh.

0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:30.040
<v Speaker 1>And by the way, you also have to laugh at

0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:31.720
<v Speaker 1>what I say, because if you don't laugh at what

0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:33.800
<v Speaker 1>I say, great you don't think I'm funny. But I'm

0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:36.959
<v Speaker 1>this is not changing. Like I like to be weird.

0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.120
<v Speaker 1>I like to be a little bit over the top.

0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:43.159
<v Speaker 1>You know. I have passed this point of like I

0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:48.680
<v Speaker 1>just want a man to think I'm sexy. Sexy. No,

0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:51.960
<v Speaker 1>I want you to leave and be like that bitch

0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:55.520
<v Speaker 1>just funny as fuck. I have to see her tomorrow, Yeah,

0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:59.720
<v Speaker 1>you know I do. Raymie Keemi also says green Flag

0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:02.679
<v Speaker 1>not only holds doors open for you, but opens the

0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:03.520
<v Speaker 1>door for others.

0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:07.320
<v Speaker 2>That's me, that is you. I get stuck at the

0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:11.520
<v Speaker 2>fucking door sometimes, and then I'm too nice to say

0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:13.480
<v Speaker 2>fuck you, so I just hold it. I might as

0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:17.800
<v Speaker 2>well put a bell hat on me. Come on in.

0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:19.359
<v Speaker 2>Do you like me to take you?

0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:22.359
<v Speaker 1>No? But you're so nice, You're so nice.

0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.240
<v Speaker 2>The one thing that I've been doing that isn't so nice,

0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.199
<v Speaker 2>but they deserve it. If they don't say thank you,

0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:30.119
<v Speaker 2>I always go, you're welcome, and then I keep walking.

0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:31.880
<v Speaker 1>I think that that's a boundary.

0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:33.520
<v Speaker 2>It is, and I'm working on those.

0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:35.280
<v Speaker 1>A passive aggressive boundary, it is.

0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:38.240
<v Speaker 2>And no one said anything SI at.

0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:43.439
<v Speaker 1>All instead of being like, hey, like, you're welcome, I

0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:45.439
<v Speaker 1>held the door up for you. It's just as simple,

0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:46.040
<v Speaker 1>you're welcome.

0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:49.320
<v Speaker 2>You're welcome. And if they go I didn't say something, I.

0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Could have sworn. I thought I heard you say thank you.

0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:54.119
<v Speaker 2>Well it's either that or I'm gonna knock him on

0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:55.400
<v Speaker 2>the forehead and go, you're welcome.

0:19:57.040 --> 0:19:59.639
<v Speaker 1>Great, so we're gonna I think if you touch someone

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:01.840
<v Speaker 1>out their consent it is assault.

0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:05.080
<v Speaker 2>Right, I'm going to get four of them. One, two, three, four,

0:20:05.560 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 2>You're welcome.

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:08.200
<v Speaker 1>You know what though, that is a huge one. I

0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:10.119
<v Speaker 1>was talking to Brittany on her podcast. This was a

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:14.119
<v Speaker 1>few months ago, and we both said, like, we're also

0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:18.000
<v Speaker 1>fixated on how someone treats us, and so often we

0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:21.879
<v Speaker 1>forget how people treat other people. And I think that

0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:27.320
<v Speaker 1>that is that should be taken into account as well. Yeah,

0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:32.520
<v Speaker 1>also a huge red flag for me now, just with

0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:35.680
<v Speaker 1>the experience of life. If I'm with a dude who

0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:40.879
<v Speaker 1>treats me in a fantastic way, that tells me his

0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:46.640
<v Speaker 1>ex or his baby mama is crazy. Red flag. Yeah,

0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:48.520
<v Speaker 1>red freaking flag.

0:20:48.720 --> 0:20:52.120
<v Speaker 2>I've got a red flag. How you treat your waiters,

0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:53.760
<v Speaker 2>waitresses and servers.

0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:55.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that is a big one.

0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:57.600
<v Speaker 2>That's a flag for me. If you're rude. Red.

0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:02.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh, if you're rude, goodbye. No tolerance for the rudeness. No,

0:21:03.000 --> 0:21:05.160
<v Speaker 1>because you know, I've been on dates with dudes who

0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:11.440
<v Speaker 1>have baby mamas and I'll ask that question like, oh,

0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:13.720
<v Speaker 1>how is your you know, baby mom? Are you guys

0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:17.480
<v Speaker 1>able to copare it? And the green flags are when

0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:20.760
<v Speaker 1>they're like, you know, we don't always get along. It

0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:23.159
<v Speaker 1>can be tough sometimes, but she's a great mom, and

0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:26.760
<v Speaker 1>that's all I can ask for. It's like, yeah, but

0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:29.480
<v Speaker 1>when you immediately go to she's fucking crazy. She makes

0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:32.600
<v Speaker 1>my life hard. I'm like, I have a feeling you

0:21:32.640 --> 0:21:35.560
<v Speaker 1>make her life hard and she's set the boundary that

0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:38.760
<v Speaker 1>you don't like. Yeah, that's what I'm gathering. I can

0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:43.000
<v Speaker 1>agree on that she doesn't give you everything you want.

0:21:43.119 --> 0:21:44.840
<v Speaker 2>Go to the bar four days out of the week,

0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:46.920
<v Speaker 2>only three. She makes it hard?

0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:52.280
<v Speaker 1>Does Borkowski underscore a mama's boy? They didn't say if

0:21:52.280 --> 0:21:53.959
<v Speaker 1>that was a red flagg or a green flag?

0:21:55.160 --> 0:21:57.280
<v Speaker 2>Is that a rhet or a green Well, because I'm

0:21:57.280 --> 0:21:59.879
<v Speaker 2>a mama's boy. How far would it go for it

0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:01.880
<v Speaker 2>to be a red flag of being a mama's boy?

0:22:02.600 --> 0:22:05.479
<v Speaker 2>Because that is a good question, because think like a

0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:09.000
<v Speaker 2>man at the beginning of it, he takes his day

0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:12.399
<v Speaker 2>like his girlfriend for Valentine's Day, and then it pans

0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:15.440
<v Speaker 2>over and his mom's there. That's that's a red flag.

0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:20.240
<v Speaker 1>Yes, But a dude who says like I love my

0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:23.480
<v Speaker 1>mom a lot, like I'm a MoMA's boy. She raised

0:22:23.520 --> 0:22:25.280
<v Speaker 1>me like I wouldn't I.

0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:27.280
<v Speaker 2>Go over there twice a week, three times.

0:22:27.080 --> 0:22:30.200
<v Speaker 1>A week, multiple times a day, not a green flag

0:22:30.280 --> 0:22:34.480
<v Speaker 1>because I have that same type of relationship. I think

0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:36.399
<v Speaker 1>what would be hard is if we got to a

0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:38.480
<v Speaker 1>place where, like, you love your mom just as much

0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:43.320
<v Speaker 1>as I love my mom, We're going to them now

0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:46.640
<v Speaker 1>this is a daity of the mom's yes, right, yeah,

0:22:47.240 --> 0:22:50.520
<v Speaker 1>because I can't sit here and choose your mom over

0:22:50.600 --> 0:22:51.000
<v Speaker 1>my mom.

0:22:51.040 --> 0:22:54.360
<v Speaker 2>That christ do you think do you think people have

0:22:54.840 --> 0:22:57.560
<v Speaker 2>if somebody says, if you're a mama's boy or a

0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:02.280
<v Speaker 2>daddy's girl, it's a red flag. Do you think it's

0:23:02.320 --> 0:23:03.600
<v Speaker 2>something on their end?

0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:07.360
<v Speaker 1>What do you? Oh? It could be you're you must

0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:08.920
<v Speaker 1>not be that close with your family.

0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:12.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah and all. Yeah, because that's the thing, like everybody's

0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:16.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, relationships are different, you know, family wise, even

0:23:16.480 --> 0:23:19.320
<v Speaker 2>like your mom and you have a very different relationship

0:23:19.400 --> 0:23:22.359
<v Speaker 2>than me and my mom. Right, So if your mom

0:23:22.359 --> 0:23:24.879
<v Speaker 2>and you aren't that close and people coming as a

0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:28.840
<v Speaker 2>red flag because of your relationship, you can't throw that

0:23:28.920 --> 0:23:29.640
<v Speaker 2>on the meat.

0:23:30.000 --> 0:23:32.920
<v Speaker 1>But then it could also be the perfect situation because

0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:35.520
<v Speaker 1>you're like, I love my family, you hate yours. Great,

0:23:35.560 --> 0:23:37.760
<v Speaker 1>we'll just spend all of the time with mine.

0:23:38.520 --> 0:23:39.040
<v Speaker 2>I love you.

0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:43.840
<v Speaker 1>It could be actually a win win situation. I have

0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:48.280
<v Speaker 1>it the one you thought you were love bombing but

0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:54.080
<v Speaker 1>actually just loved period. He still loves you. Come back

0:23:54.119 --> 0:23:59.560
<v Speaker 1>around four underscore. Green respects my space when I need it,

0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:02.680
<v Speaker 1>Red never gives me space, Flash wants me around twenty

0:24:02.680 --> 0:24:05.040
<v Speaker 1>four to seven. You know what, it's a red flag

0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:06.719
<v Speaker 1>when they don't give you your space and want you're

0:24:06.720 --> 0:24:09.879
<v Speaker 1>around twenty four seven. That that to me becomes like

0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:11.600
<v Speaker 1>a controlling aspect.

0:24:11.240 --> 0:24:14.200
<v Speaker 2>But also like it is a red flag, But shouldn't

0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:16.840
<v Speaker 2>you be with somebody that when you're with them, you

0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:20.000
<v Speaker 2>are alone? If that makes sense. Like when I was

0:24:20.040 --> 0:24:22.280
<v Speaker 2>with my ex who I am in love with, still

0:24:23.760 --> 0:24:25.920
<v Speaker 2>she could be there and I'm here and we were

0:24:26.119 --> 0:24:29.080
<v Speaker 2>she wasn't there? Makes sense? M Like our space was

0:24:29.119 --> 0:24:33.720
<v Speaker 2>still there, but we were together. That's the best, the best.

0:24:34.640 --> 0:24:38.920
<v Speaker 2>I love you, Raymi.

0:24:39.040 --> 0:24:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Kimi also says ick being on his cell phone while

0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:48.120
<v Speaker 1>on a date loser, loser, that's a new thing, though,

0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:50.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean we were on their phones at all, freaking.

0:24:51.000 --> 0:24:54.720
<v Speaker 2>Looking something up? Or am I on a phone? No?

0:24:54.440 --> 0:24:57.600
<v Speaker 1>No, no, this is clearly you're on the phone. This

0:24:57.720 --> 0:25:00.920
<v Speaker 1>isn't like we're googling together to see like how many

0:25:00.960 --> 0:25:03.119
<v Speaker 1>calories are in the meal we're eating, or whatever the

0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:05.160
<v Speaker 1>fuck it may be. We said they afford a lot

0:25:05.200 --> 0:25:05.440
<v Speaker 1>on this.

0:25:05.440 --> 0:25:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Episode, I know, but it was needed.

0:25:09.400 --> 0:25:14.440
<v Speaker 1>It's about like I'm with you and I'm texting, Okay, terrible, horrible.

0:25:14.760 --> 0:25:16.760
<v Speaker 1>If I ever if a girl came up to me

0:25:16.840 --> 0:25:18.160
<v Speaker 1>and said I went on a date with your brother

0:25:18.200 --> 0:25:22.120
<v Speaker 1>and he was on the phone the whole time, I would.

0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:22.920
<v Speaker 2>Just to let you guys know on dates, I don't

0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:25.439
<v Speaker 2>put my phone either it's in my pocket or I

0:25:25.520 --> 0:25:29.359
<v Speaker 2>put it like on the sheet, like not near me,

0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:31.400
<v Speaker 2>Like I don't put it on the I read somewhere

0:25:32.200 --> 0:25:34.800
<v Speaker 2>that if you put your phone on the table at

0:25:34.840 --> 0:25:38.280
<v Speaker 2>dinner or anything like that, Yeah, you're telling everyone around

0:25:38.359 --> 0:25:40.800
<v Speaker 2>that they're not as important as who may come through

0:25:40.960 --> 0:25:41.639
<v Speaker 2>on that phone.

0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:43.320
<v Speaker 1>I love that.

0:25:43.640 --> 0:25:45.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I don't put my phone on the table ever.

0:25:46.640 --> 0:25:48.440
<v Speaker 2>I keep it on my pocket or put it on

0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:52.520
<v Speaker 2>like the couch er chair under my leg, and if

0:25:52.560 --> 0:25:54.959
<v Speaker 2>it vibrates, I don't care. I just don't want everybody

0:25:55.040 --> 0:25:57.320
<v Speaker 2>to hear it go boop, you know, because then when

0:25:57.359 --> 0:25:59.160
<v Speaker 2>you grab it there and I think.

0:25:59.000 --> 0:26:02.880
<v Speaker 1>Being trans parent, like for me on dates that I've

0:26:02.880 --> 0:26:04.399
<v Speaker 1>gone on, which I haven't been on a date in

0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:08.200
<v Speaker 1>a long time, but I have been on dates where

0:26:08.240 --> 0:26:11.560
<v Speaker 1>I've been a mother, and I will say, like, I

0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:14.120
<v Speaker 1>have to check my phone very quickly. This is you know,

0:26:14.280 --> 0:26:16.879
<v Speaker 1>but my mom or my brother and they're watching my kids, and.

0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:18.560
<v Speaker 2>That just to let you know. If I went on

0:26:18.600 --> 0:26:21.200
<v Speaker 2>a date with a girl and she was like, just

0:26:21.240 --> 0:26:22.719
<v Speaker 2>to let you know, I do have my kid at home,

0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:25.040
<v Speaker 2>Da da da da. If I check my phone, it's

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:27.040
<v Speaker 2>for that reason, I'd go keep it out just in case.

0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but the texting. The texting is so rude.

0:26:29.880 --> 0:26:32.399
<v Speaker 2>I'll give them the texting, but if they start picking

0:26:32.440 --> 0:26:34.760
<v Speaker 2>it up constantly, then I'm that's. Let me tell you.

0:26:34.800 --> 0:26:37.199
<v Speaker 1>Something, though. I would almost rather have someone say I

0:26:37.240 --> 0:26:39.879
<v Speaker 1>have to take this call rather than hold on for

0:26:39.920 --> 0:26:40.399
<v Speaker 1>a second.

0:26:40.880 --> 0:26:43.240
<v Speaker 2>No, like, let me tell you something interrupt. I have

0:26:43.280 --> 0:26:43.840
<v Speaker 2>to take this call.

0:26:43.960 --> 0:26:46.880
<v Speaker 1>Yes, if my mom is calling, she has my children,

0:26:46.960 --> 0:26:48.760
<v Speaker 1>I have to pick it up. If my mom's texting,

0:26:49.440 --> 0:26:50.320
<v Speaker 1>it must not be that.

0:26:50.400 --> 0:26:52.720
<v Speaker 2>But already I would be the guy not letting you

0:26:52.760 --> 0:26:55.800
<v Speaker 2>even do that, you know, right, Yes, it would be

0:26:55.880 --> 0:26:58.440
<v Speaker 2>like I would almost say, like, if you don't keep

0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:02.240
<v Speaker 2>your phone on the table, I will be furious at you,

0:27:02.480 --> 0:27:04.880
<v Speaker 2>like you got kitts and stuff? Keep it out?

0:27:05.000 --> 0:27:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Yes, j L C. Menu says X everything. Lol, I'm

0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:15.480
<v Speaker 1>fine alone. Is it so sad that this is.

0:27:15.800 --> 0:27:16.399
<v Speaker 2>Related with you?

0:27:16.400 --> 0:27:16.760
<v Speaker 1>The most?

0:27:17.400 --> 0:27:20.200
<v Speaker 2>I love? I was just talking to Jenna after our

0:27:20.280 --> 0:27:22.240
<v Speaker 2>pod We went over and she we just sat well, oh,

0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:24.080
<v Speaker 2>did she go to Jerry's Deli with your Yeah, she

0:27:24.080 --> 0:27:26.640
<v Speaker 2>didn't get anything, but I did. But we were talking about.

0:27:26.440 --> 0:27:28.880
<v Speaker 1>That about being alone.

0:27:28.680 --> 0:27:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and how fucking great it is.

0:27:30.920 --> 0:27:31.840
<v Speaker 1>Did she agree with you.

0:27:31.920 --> 0:27:33.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she was like, I live alone and I love it.

0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:37.320
<v Speaker 2>I know. I mean, yes, we want partners here and there,

0:27:37.359 --> 0:27:40.560
<v Speaker 2>but like here, in there, in there, here and there

0:27:40.560 --> 0:27:41.520
<v Speaker 2>for me if she wants one.

0:27:42.000 --> 0:27:45.359
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted a very untraditional life at all times.

0:27:45.440 --> 0:27:49.919
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. I created an untraditional life. I thrive in

0:27:49.960 --> 0:27:54.080
<v Speaker 1>that environment. So that's what I'm going to do. That's

0:27:54.119 --> 0:27:56.359
<v Speaker 1>what I'm going to do. You guys, thank you for

0:27:56.400 --> 0:27:58.800
<v Speaker 1>setting in your green flags and your X and thank

0:27:58.840 --> 0:28:01.119
<v Speaker 1>you for listening to. ANOTHERUS episode of the Give the

0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:03.840
<v Speaker 1>Molla podcast YouTube is also up now, and I'm gonna

0:28:03.840 --> 0:28:05.720
<v Speaker 1>catch you on Wednesday for a regular old episode and

0:28:05.760 --> 0:28:08.560
<v Speaker 1>again xbox to bye