1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: I hate to give this away in the first fifteen 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:08,080 Speaker 1: seconds of the pod, but today's hurdle moment is all 3 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: about the word no. No, no, don't nope, don't nope no. Okay, 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: I amuse myself there. I said it. I've had a 5 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: really hard time coming into my power and saying no 6 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: over the past two years. And I'll wrap about that 7 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: in just a minute before I do my hurdle moment. 8 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: Partner Way of Life athletic company Wollaco is dropping their 9 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: new Woman's Clinton featherweight tank today and just an FYI, 10 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: I'm really digging it. It's so so soft, it's really 11 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: breathable and has a relaxed, longer fit with a raser 12 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: back that I'm totally into. I'm stopping by their HQ 13 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: and T Rebecca today to pick up mine, and uh, 14 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: I think you've got to check it out for yourself too. 15 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: Go give them a look see at Wollaco dot com. 16 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 1: That's Wolaco dot com. I remember back in episode fifty 17 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 1: when I recorded with Nike Master trainer and wellness consultant 18 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: Joe Holder, he said to me, the two most powerful 19 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: words we have in our vocabulary are yes and no, 20 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: and the guy's right. Still, so often we cave into 21 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: the ease and familiarity of the word yes, even when 22 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: it's not in our best interest, even when it actually 23 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:33,559 Speaker 1: makes things harder for us, because we're so overly concerned 24 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 1: about how no can make other people feel. Reality check, guys, 25 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: we all have the opportunity to own no, and we 26 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: need to period. In today's Hurdle Moment, I'm going to 27 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 1: talk about how to get comfortable with no and even 28 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: how to make using it feel a little bit easier. 29 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: As always at Hurdle podcast at Emily a Body and 30 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: I'm always around via email Emily at hurdle dot us. 31 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: With that, let's get to hurdling. The ability to say 32 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: no more means that you accept that you're in the 33 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: driver's seat of your own life. It's powerful, right. There's 34 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: a big difference between the words I can't and I won't. 35 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,079 Speaker 1: When you say I can't, it's like using the word maybe, 36 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,239 Speaker 1: as if your decisions up for debate. You're allowing yourself 37 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 1: to make a conscious choice. But when you say I won't, 38 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: that's definitive. That's something you're sure of. That's you not 39 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: only owning what you want, but sometimes what you need, 40 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: of course, getting assertive and sometimes standing up for yourself. 41 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: It takes practice, so you could try a little intro exercise. 42 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: For example, start by saying no in situations that don't 43 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: feel like you have so much to lose. This could 44 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: be super easy, like at a restaurant when a waitress 45 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: asks you if you want dessert, or maybe it's when 46 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: a telemarketer calls and tries to sell you something. In 47 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: these less than life or death situations, to completely over exaggerate, 48 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: you're getting a sense for what it feels like to 49 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: own your decisions. Then, to make saying no easier and 50 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: more difficult situations, you need to first and foremost remember 51 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 1: your priorities and values. You have to be willing to 52 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: open up with yourself about what those are. For instance, 53 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: hurdle is one of my top priorities. If you're listening 54 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: right now, well, I can only hope that you appreciate 55 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: that this means. And on the weekends I'm constantly setting 56 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: aside time to work on it so that the episode's 57 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: already for Mondays. If someone wants to do dinner on 58 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: a Sunday night, if hurdle's not done, I'm not going 59 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: to dinner. At least well not outside of my apartment. 60 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: And that's because I've made it clear to myself that 61 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: this is a big priority for me. When it comes 62 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: to things that take away from this big priority, the 63 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: answer is I won't. Okay, So you've identified that you 64 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: want to say no. That's a big first step. The 65 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: next step is doing so in a way that makes 66 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: you feel comfortable. Now, firstly, I will never suggest the 67 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: ghost technique as a no. In fact, I just cannot 68 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: stand ghosting in general and dating and work relationships and friendships. 69 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: It's just see what's on your mind and own that closure. 70 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,119 Speaker 1: If something's just not right for you anyway. Like I said, 71 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: own your no. Be firm and confident in your decision. 72 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,239 Speaker 1: Find comfort in the idea that sometimes it's just okay 73 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:53,359 Speaker 1: to say no and move on. It's okay to say 74 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: no and not explain yourself. With that said, you also 75 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: have the opportunity to be generous when you use offering 76 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: up maybe an alternative suggestion. Say if your friend asks 77 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 1: you to go to happy hour after work, but you're 78 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 1: really trying to cut back on the drinking and you 79 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: told yourself this wasn't going to be one of those weeks. 80 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: So instead of saying no with nothing else, you could 81 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: say no, but hey, maybe you want to go to 82 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: yoga instead. This way, you're sticking to your moral compass 83 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: A and B. You're showing someone that you care about 84 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: that you care about making time for them. This will 85 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 1: help you avoid resentment and frustration, which is definitely key. Now. Granted, 86 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 1: I'm not just saying that all of a sudden you 87 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: have to start saying no to everything. There are definitely 88 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: going to be times that you have to say yes 89 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 1: when you don't want to. Perhaps you have an ultimate 90 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: goal in mind that's going to require a little bit 91 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,119 Speaker 1: more yesing. If you know that you're trying to build 92 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 1: your business and you're trying to network, that's going to 93 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,599 Speaker 1: mean that maybe you're out at some of those drinks 94 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 1: meetups that you don't necessarily want to be at. But 95 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 1: what I'm trying to get out here ultimately is that 96 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,280 Speaker 1: you need to say no more often when it comes 97 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: to protecting your space, when it comes to protecting your energy, 98 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: when it comes to understanding that you are worthy of 99 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: that investment, and that's okay. I found that in the 100 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: past a lot of the reason I wasn't saying no 101 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: was because I was scared to miss out. But I 102 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: want you to ask yourself this, Are you thinking about 103 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: what the opportunity that's saying no brings you? Or are 104 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: you so worried about seeing an Instagram story of someone 105 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: doing something without you that you instantly forget your values 106 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: and your priorities. Listen to me carefully, everyone, Each time 107 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: you say no to something that you would have said 108 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: yes to in the past, you are strengthening your muscles 109 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,279 Speaker 1: to create boundaries, and then you're making it easier to 110 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: say no in the future. That's pretty awesome. So I 111 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: want you to try it, and I want you to 112 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: report back to me again. This is a two way conversation. 113 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: I know you, guys, you're listening to this angelic voice 114 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: right now, but it is so important for me to 115 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,480 Speaker 1: know what's resonating with you, what you like to hear about, 116 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: what you want to know more about. So, whether it's 117 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: over Instagram or in an email, tell me a story 118 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: about how saying no has empowered you. I think you 119 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,679 Speaker 1: might be surprised to see that it makes you feel 120 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: strong in all of the areas of your life. At 121 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:30,239 Speaker 1: Emily a body at hurdle podcast, Another hurdle conquered. Catch 122 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: you guys next time.