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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's doing a pet spinoff of

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Speaker 1: the show Love Is Blind called Love is Neutered. Ah, okay,

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Speaker 1: dogs won't be able to see each other. They're just

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Speaker 1: barking at walls for weeks on end. Love really is Neuter?

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Speaker 1: Catch it now with Laser Stories, the segment where we

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Speaker 1: read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone

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Speaker 1: else does, except we've got a laser. Where's other bow

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Speaker 1: chick bow wows?

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Speaker 2: Just dumb. This first laser story is out of Maryland.

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Speaker 1: There's a university called Washington College, and they recently announced

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Speaker 1: that they're changing their logo, which incorporated George Washington's signature.

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Speaker 1: So why are they doing it? Was it offensive in

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Speaker 1: some way? Culturally insensitive?

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Speaker 2: That sounds why. That's exactly why they did.

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Speaker 1: It, because all prospective students who were thinking about going

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Speaker 1: to school there could not read it because it was incursive.

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Speaker 2: This is so impossible time see that. It's very well

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Speaker 2: poorly drawn. Se No, that's his actual signature.

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Speaker 3: That's his actual say, it's a beautiful signature. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it's not like he's doing a doctor's signature anything. It's

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Speaker 3: Jay Washington.

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Speaker 1: Washington College dates back to seventeen eighty two, when kids

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Speaker 1: would spend all afternoon on pensmanship, and the university says

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Speaker 1: times have changed, so the new logo uses a more

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Speaker 1: traditional college typography and adds in the Washington family crest.

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Speaker 3: Dude, that's so funny because alexis you were ever required

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Speaker 3: to do I think it never like we never had

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Speaker 3: to do. It was like a hobby. Like you learned

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Speaker 3: it because everyone learned it, and then you didn't use it.

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Speaker 1: They made it seem like to us like you're gonna

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Speaker 1: need to know cursive.

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Speaker 3: Well, you obviously do, because there's old Like honestly, at

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Speaker 3: some point, no one is going to be able to

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Speaker 3: read the Declaration of Independence.

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Speaker 1: John Harrison, I can't make it out.

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Speaker 3: Historians are like, this is a magical layuageymore.

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Speaker 2: So you saw the new family crest version.

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Speaker 3: It is so ugly. Yeah, is just Washington College.

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Speaker 1: It looks like every online college that you've ever seen

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Speaker 1: with the little crest above it. School officials say it's

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Speaker 1: great because it can be used at different sizes and

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Speaker 1: still be recognized, but many alumni say it's a really boring,

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Speaker 1: lame attempt, and they'd like the old one reinstated. No

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Speaker 1: word on if the college will consider changing it back,

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Speaker 1: Probably not, considering many kids from the incoming freshman class

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Speaker 1: would mock the old logo by saying they were attending

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Speaker 1: Scribble University.

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Speaker 2: That'd be funny.

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of Vassal Kune, India. Recently,

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Speaker 1: a twenty three year old man named Parth Patel was

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Speaker 1: having terrible stomach pains for three days. He got so

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Speaker 1: bad he finally took himself to the hospital and that's

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Speaker 1: when he told the nurses he'd eaten street food and

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Speaker 1: a night market a few days before and was certain

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Speaker 1: that was the source of the pain.

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Speaker 3: Who hasn't been there before.

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Speaker 1: Doctors decided to do an endoscopy to hopefully discover what

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Speaker 1: was going on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's when they found something shocking.

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Speaker 1: Inside the man's small intestine was a totally alive cockroach.

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Speaker 1: They weren't luckily able to remove it without surgery, just

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Speaker 1: by simply using the suction button on the.

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Speaker 2: End of the scope. Do you think they all were like, no,

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Speaker 2: you do it. I don't want to do it.

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Speaker 3: You do it.

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Speaker 2: Gross.

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Speaker 1: Turns out the cockroach was about three centimeters long and

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Speaker 1: the doctor speculated that it could have either crawled down

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Speaker 1: his throat while he slept. No, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: hear that, or he accidentally swallowed it when visiting that

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Speaker 1: night market.

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Speaker 2: That is so gross.

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Speaker 3: How did it survive his stomach to make it all

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Speaker 3: the way?

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Speaker 2: Cockroaches don't die?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, food like they're like, yes, some.

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Speaker 2: Of them do.

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Speaker 1: Serves like exotic stuff like that yea, yeah, chocolate covered

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Speaker 1: you know. Unfortunately, this isn't totally unique. Last month, a

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Speaker 1: Chinese man accidentally swallowed a cockroach and complained of bad breath.

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Speaker 2: For three days. Well, I don't think that's bad breath. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of Halloween headquarters. Airbnb's

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Speaker 1: done some iconic places to stay in the last few years.

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Speaker 2: It's been so cool what they've.

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Speaker 1: Been doing, from Kevin's house in the movie Home alone

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Speaker 1: to the Harry Potter's childhood home. They've even rented out

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Speaker 1: the bachelor mansion Villa de la Vina, which came with

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Speaker 1: a free deep cleaning service.

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Speaker 3: By the way, yeah, I feel like they found a

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Speaker 3: contestant like accidentally still passed out in.

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Speaker 2: The cla well.

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Speaker 1: Their latest edition has a lot of fans clamoring to

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Speaker 1: book it because it's the Deets home from Beetlejuice.

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Speaker 2: Beetlejuice, you know, the white two story house shrouded in black.

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Speaker 2: You can see the pictures of it up on our

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Speaker 2: instant stories at Brook and Jeffrey.

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Speaker 1: Hosted by Delia Dates from the Afterlife.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that's Catherine O'Hare, okay I.

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Speaker 1: Her sculptures and paintings are displayed throughout the home, and

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Speaker 1: you can even visit the attic to see a recreation

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Speaker 1: of the Maitland's model of the town.

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Speaker 3: And then say his name and he gets big.

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Speaker 2: I haven't seen it. Here's a look of the model

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Speaker 2: if you want to see that. Yeah, it's so good.

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Speaker 2: I do remember this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And if you say Beetlejuice is name three times,

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Speaker 1: you'll find yourself in the Afterlife, where you can visit

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Speaker 1: the waiting room.

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Speaker 3: Ah when the shrunkenhead guy and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, also be an art class taught by Delia's.

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Speaker 2: Assistant living in there you know.

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Speaker 1: It. Fans can request a book one of the ten

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Speaker 1: available Dates for free. Sadly, it's not an overnight stay.

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Speaker 1: The experience is only for three hours and it's located

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Speaker 1: in Hillsborough, New Jersey Cool out this next Lazer stories

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Speaker 1: out of Snack Central.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'm hungry.

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Speaker 1: Peppers Farm wants young adults to know goldfish crackers are

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Speaker 1: something grown ups can eat.

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Speaker 2: Too, obviously. Yeah, I don't think they need.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they just want to remind you. So here's their

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Speaker 1: latest marketing stunt. They announced they're temporarily rebranding Goldfish and

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Speaker 1: changing the name to Chilean Sea Bass.

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Speaker 3: That's really funny.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: It actually says it on the front Chilean Sea Bass's

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Speaker 3: on the.

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Speaker 1: The packaging looks exactly the same as Goldfish, but yes,

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Speaker 1: with the name changed. And then they accompanied it with

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Speaker 1: a jokey ad calling them more sophisticated and so adult.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now, don't expect to see the new name in stores anytime.

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Speaker 1: They're only doing it on special limited edition bags and

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Speaker 1: they're selling a set amount each day for the next

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Speaker 1: week at Chilean Sea Bass Crackers dot Com. That's actually

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Speaker 1: really funny.

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Speaker 2: They should do like sushi et Dude.

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Speaker 3: My kids are addicted to the If they saw Chilean

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Speaker 3: Sea Bass on they covered, they wouldn't eat them. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: like you, gross momfish fun fact.

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Speaker 1: When Goldfish Crackers debuted in nineteen sixty two. They were

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Speaker 1: meant for adults, not for kids. They marketed them as

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Speaker 1: a new type of snack for bartenders to put out

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Speaker 1: oh so much. That trend died once people realized everybody

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Speaker 1: reaching into the same bowl was kind of gross.

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Speaker 3: I'm still good with the same bowl.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, speaking of disgusting bulls, this guy needs you to

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Speaker 1: clean out his living space because he's got a few guests.

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Speaker 2: Flying in from Vegas. The High Top Sisters. They're twins.

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Speaker 2: He wants it to look nice and classy for them.

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Speaker 1: So that sound means Laser Stories has come to an

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Speaker 1: end for the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again, same time on Monday

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Speaker 3: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.