Speaker 1: Wine down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast.
Speaker 1: We have a lot to talk about. I mean, where
Speaker 1: do we start, Katherine, I haven't seen you since Los Angeles? Like,
Speaker 1: how long ago was that? Because it feels like a
Speaker 1: couple of months. It feels like a month. I think
Speaker 1: it was only two weeks. I think it was three weeks.
Speaker 1: Three weeks. It was Los Angeles. It was one yes,
Speaker 1: for almost three weeks. This week is the longest if
Speaker 1: I feel like, but minus when I lived in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: you like, yeah, I like walked in and I was like,
Speaker 1: and you get five minutes, tell me everything that's happened,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, this that? Um yeah, and catch
Speaker 1: us up. I mean, well, for I want to start
Speaker 1: with a few things first before we get into I mean,
Speaker 1: because they had this a topic sheet of things we
Speaker 1: were supposed to talk about. Um, there's some there's some
Speaker 1: good chats in there, but I do want to start
Speaker 1: with the should we wait with the B one or
Speaker 1: or to do like light stuff first, Let's light. Let's
Speaker 1: either way, it's start light. Okay, Okay, she wasn't ready.
Speaker 1: It was your birthday. Tell us about your birthday? Birthday?
Speaker 1: It was you guys, I think I did. I say
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be in the Bahamas on the
Speaker 1: last episode. I don't. I can't remember. I listened back
Speaker 1: to a few minutes of it because it was some
Speaker 1: of the things we said were so funny, and I
Speaker 1: was gonna screen memo it to you because we talked
Speaker 1: about how we went to the beach and we were
Speaker 1: like take away ourselves, doubts and whatever. I would rather like,
Speaker 1: like catherinee chocolate cookies, doing emails, attel room, which is
Speaker 1: my heaven, by the way, doing emails while y'all are
Speaker 1: just like washing everything away, writing the words insecurity, fear control,
Speaker 1: and watching the ocean sweep them away. And I'm like
Speaker 1: her my last email. That's literally what he said. That's
Speaker 1: why you have to listen to because it was so funny.
Speaker 1: Thanks advance, Thanks in advance, but so obviously. I I
Speaker 1: think I talked about the changing of the trip and stuff.
Speaker 1: But you, guys, Okay, I told you I don't go
Speaker 1: down the Why haven't I've blocked myself from reading comments. Okay, No,
Speaker 1: if it's about me, I don't want to know. Okay,
Speaker 1: but you unblocked yourself when you read some comments on
Speaker 1: my birthday, he self gutting and it is. It was
Speaker 1: funny because they were like, the queendom is falling, call
Speaker 1: us the queendom and they were like that she's so
Speaker 1: I'm offended. We are not. It's hilarious. Do you know
Speaker 1: what I want to say? Up listening if you think
Speaker 1: we're dumb? And I said that, so Sorority, I'm for
Speaker 1: sure getting just annihilated, and you run out. Okay, I'm like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: super credible Reddit. I haven't done that a very long time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I haven't either, and it's felt great. And I
Speaker 1: was kind of just like, why do they care? Well,
Speaker 1: why do I care? Is that's the bigger question. But
Speaker 1: why do they care? Right? But it was so funny.
Speaker 1: So because you didn't you didn't post my happy Birthday
Speaker 1: until later in the day, and Pam and Julie never
Speaker 1: said never did and I had a type of and
Speaker 1: mine was awesome. You guys really good. But can I
Speaker 1: just share with the world what I was doing because
Speaker 1: I was driving me two kids in a babysitter six hours.
Speaker 1: Nowhere cares about what we actually hadn't going on, And
Speaker 1: I don't care if I knew it you know, Pam
Speaker 1: and I, you know, we had a like I saw her,
Speaker 1: you know, we same with you. I'm like, it's so
Speaker 1: funny how people. And here's the thing too, because I
Speaker 1: didn't actually for the first time when I was reading
Speaker 1: some of the stuff, it actually it made me laugh
Speaker 1: because how off base they were on I mean, all
Speaker 1: of it. I am so angry, don't it's actually it's
Speaker 1: but it's it's interesting because we put ourselves out there
Speaker 1: to be then right, just like the Kardashians or we
Speaker 1: are saying we are. I'm just saying, anybody that is
Speaker 1: in a public platform, you are going to then be
Speaker 1: picked apart or And I was talking to someone last
Speaker 1: night and he's like, would because I was telling him
Speaker 1: some of the funny stuff and what's his name? Dramatic
Speaker 1: pauses are my favorite pauses. And he's like, would you
Speaker 1: this is the question I want to pose to you guys.
Speaker 1: Would you walk into a bar and ask fifty people
Speaker 1: what they think of you? No? No, I wouldn't talk
Speaker 1: to fifty people in a bar. To the hotel room
Speaker 1: with her computer and kind or chocolate cookies, But no,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I would never see because I don't care right,
Speaker 1: unfortunately until they call me queen dumb and now buyed up.
Speaker 1: Come at, I do care, but I wouldn't ask. I
Speaker 1: don't care really, But also, why are you in a bar?
Speaker 1: So then okay, let's say arrest your kidding. It's funny though,
Speaker 1: because when you say because I know you can, and
Speaker 1: I know how much you care when someone I mean,
Speaker 1: for example, a situation that you went through a couple
Speaker 1: of months ago, like you you went forward until you guys,
Speaker 1: had she knew or whoever? Absolutely, I definitely care, but
Speaker 1: I still wouldn't go ask fifty people yeah, because I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to know. Here's the thing, too, is what
Speaker 1: I said to that person was they wouldn't tell you
Speaker 1: the truth if to your face anyways, because it's always
Speaker 1: behind it. So they're gonna say, oh my gosh, of
Speaker 1: course I love you, you're the best, whatever, and then
Speaker 1: they're going to go behind your back and they're going
Speaker 1: to write hateful things because they think that they know
Speaker 1: your life or know who you are. No, And that's
Speaker 1: the piece like where I I think even a year
Speaker 1: from now. A year ago I would have been like yeah,
Speaker 1: I would ask, but now I'm like no, because I
Speaker 1: know that that's not like we know who's we are, right,
Speaker 1: I'm not a daughter of the king. I'm royalty and
Speaker 1: I'm not dumb, So peace out should have told you that.
Speaker 1: I think I thought it was just so funny and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there was just I mean they were talking about how,
Speaker 1: um my last relationship, you know, crash and burn. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I wasn't even in a relationship, like you can't even
Speaker 1: be friends with some It was just it was so
Speaker 1: funny how I don't know, So I just thought that
Speaker 1: was funny, but I had I did. I laughed at
Speaker 1: because the queendom part was just were the Queendom. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to just excessively post on our big queendom
Speaker 1: Christmas party. Stay tuned you And the reason Julie can't
Speaker 1: come is because she's not available because she's got Don
Speaker 1: in advance. He's coming now, we'll take it to her.
Speaker 1: But my birthday was actually great, and um I thirty
Speaker 1: nine thirty nine. I flew home from Chicago the night
Speaker 1: before and you guys had already had plans. You were
Speaker 1: gone at a cheer thing. You were gone, And I
Speaker 1: know that the fort is going to be like a
Speaker 1: big bash and so on my calendar. Well, you were
Speaker 1: going to Bahama, I was gonna Wassmas. Yeah, but then
Speaker 1: Chicago fire happened, which was such an awesome experience, and
Speaker 1: I hope they bring a cute on there. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: It's so different than anything you've done. So it's fun
Speaker 1: to see you in a suit and with a with
Speaker 1: a pony. But no, it was great. I had a
Speaker 1: great time, and I had a bottle of wine in
Speaker 1: and I wrote down my goals of what I want
Speaker 1: to still shed in thirty nine. Like you told me.
Speaker 1: I listened to that, and so I have my whole
Speaker 1: goal list of what I want to do, saying like
Speaker 1: you would never write in the list, I'm like, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I like lit a candle and I had a bottle
Speaker 1: of wine and I'm just like, this is my um.
Speaker 1: You know everything that I'm going to shed to move
Speaker 1: into forty and things that you know, it's going to
Speaker 1: be a good decade. It was so great, and I
Speaker 1: went to bed and it was it was It was
Speaker 1: the most And I just never in a million years
Speaker 1: thought I'd get to a place where I would celebrate
Speaker 1: my birthday. So that's growth. It's almost like and be
Speaker 1: amazing and happy, like in the closet crying. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's divine timing years. I can't it's New Years
Speaker 1: like every New Year's I do. I just you don't
Speaker 1: think when the there's only forty eight hours to my birthday,
Speaker 1: when the I want this year because I'm so hopeful
Speaker 1: and happy. Okay, But I do think God did it
Speaker 1: on purpose this year which one you were because and
Speaker 1: so we were all like, okay, we're gonna skit scat
Speaker 1: scatter around, yeah okay, and then you're like, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna Bahama Chicago fire, and we're like that is colder
Speaker 1: than we originally planned. And then there you are, and
Speaker 1: I think, like, think of all the people that love you,
Speaker 1: that would want to do that day with you. It's
Speaker 1: God like literally just clearing the road so you could
Speaker 1: just be with yourself. It was so great. It was
Speaker 1: so great good. That was awesome. I loved every minute
Speaker 1: of it. And just like I said, I'm the last podcast,
Speaker 1: like it's good to be in this space to just
Speaker 1: have those moments of peace and be happy and not
Speaker 1: crying my closet, like Cat said, because let us recall
Speaker 1: my thirty at birthday when I was under my cover's
Speaker 1: bawling my eyes out. I'm alone. Birthdays are tricky, tricky
Speaker 1: for anyone listening that is coming up to thirty. It
Speaker 1: is just not even what you think it is. Take
Speaker 1: a moment and just love on yourself, have a drink
Speaker 1: or don't. Don't be hard on yourself. You're just getting started.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and forties, I'm just so excited. Was that
Speaker 1: facetious or for real? Guys, you shed your givers ship
Speaker 1: in your forties. The boundaries are getting so much clear.
Speaker 1: Boundary hard yesterday, and I really just it's just us girls.
Speaker 1: It's just us girls and people that think we're queendom um.
Speaker 1: So the holidays are coming. I just want to speak
Speaker 1: into the people that don't feel extra lovey dovey over
Speaker 1: the holidays, like Jesus is the reason for my season
Speaker 1: and ours on the couch. But also tricky for a
Speaker 1: lot of people to navigate all the responsibilities, all of
Speaker 1: the millions things, the programs, the gifts, the blah blah,
Speaker 1: the hosting. So I asked to the family, which family
Speaker 1: your extended family are just No? I just we hosted
Speaker 1: our house every Christmas, typically four days sometimes five, but
Speaker 1: I do breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It is very much
Speaker 1: a come and be hosted. Okay, play with the grandkids.
Speaker 1: No offense to anyone, but like I've literally asked several times,
Speaker 1: just trying to create a plan. I don't know about you, guys,
Speaker 1: but December is flying, flying, like it's already gone and
Speaker 1: it has just begun. Like I can't figure it out.
Speaker 1: So I thought, okay, let me just like lay out
Speaker 1: the calendar here because I'm also trying to get some quality,
Speaker 1: good family time in with the Core four as I
Speaker 1: call us um because Dad has been gone a ton
Speaker 1: this year, which is great, but also just like it's
Speaker 1: been a lot. Kids are older, they're noticing, you know,
Speaker 1: we need a little like core or four times. So
Speaker 1: I reach out several times like can we get a
Speaker 1: guys gonna come before? Do you want to come after Christmas? Us?
Speaker 1: I get nothing back that's helpful for're planning several times,
Speaker 1: and so yesterday, so two days ago, I write at
Speaker 1: five o'clock at night and just say, hey, would you
Speaker 1: like to come or would you prefer to come the
Speaker 1: twenty nine? It's Christmas? Even Christmas are not an option.
Speaker 1: I don't say that. No, it never has been. I
Speaker 1: protected hard because the Prince of piece. I need that
Speaker 1: magical merry moment where it's like I need to listen
Speaker 1: to Jessica Simpson belt Holy Night. I need a moment
Speaker 1: for myself. So I go to sleep that night, I
Speaker 1: get nothing back. I get nothing back. So you know what.
Speaker 1: I woke up the next morning, I thought, w W
Speaker 1: j D and I'm just kidding. I was like, what
Speaker 1: do I need out of the season, And I thought,
Speaker 1: I don't want to rush to get ready for them
Speaker 1: on the twenty It would be nice to have them after.
Speaker 1: And so I sent a message and said, it looks
Speaker 1: like what will work best for us is the twenty
Speaker 1: six through the twenty nine. Can't wait to see you.
Speaker 1: And that was it. That's amazing. Did you get a
Speaker 1: responsing actually works best? Okay? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: feel really good about it. I I sat with what
Speaker 1: you I just got to a point where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm asking you when you want to come to
Speaker 1: be hosted. This is not like a difficult yeah, And
Speaker 1: I'm asking people that don't have jobs and don't have
Speaker 1: you know, like the world's your oyster. So just pick
Speaker 1: a time you'd like to come and be loved on
Speaker 1: and hang out with your two really fun grandkids. Do
Speaker 1: they actually hang with the grandkids though? Um, Preston's mom
Speaker 1: is incredible. That's great. She is. She doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: I think in lives there are creatures and there are people.
Speaker 1: She's a creature. She needs her own habitat, she's got
Speaker 1: her own food, she's got her own agenda. She's not
Speaker 1: She's on a different imaginary level than anybody I've ever met.
Speaker 1: So she's incredible. And pop Up loves Fox News and
Speaker 1: he just loves to just watch Fox News on love
Speaker 1: And that's okay. I mean, it all is what it is,
Speaker 1: but I wish us like I don't even think they
Speaker 1: care as much as I care, and I put all
Speaker 1: the stress on me and then I've slowly just let
Speaker 1: go of that, and now I'm like, what works for you?
Speaker 1: See a lot of that this year because you unhosted.
Speaker 1: Proud of you? Are you? Guys? That's what quiet quitting is.
Speaker 1: Isn't that a new thing among like the workforce? Quiet quitting?
Speaker 1: I think I'm quiet quitting. I'm a quiet quitter. That's good. Great,
Speaker 1: So that's great you sat with it and you then
Speaker 1: spoke of what you needed and what you wanted instead
Speaker 1: of yeah, because it's when something if it didn't feel good,
Speaker 1: that wouldn't be a good thing, and it doesn't have
Speaker 1: you good. And there's a lot more of us that
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good for that we just don't speak
Speaker 1: up or we're like watching all these magical moments on
Speaker 1: Instagram and then it feels defeating. And I think you
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, a lot of us don't have
Speaker 1: the family that we wish we had. I don't and
Speaker 1: I never have, so I've had to create memories with
Speaker 1: my friends and like I've supplemented and God has given
Speaker 1: me rate supplements for that. But it's just okay that
Speaker 1: it's not magical for you and you gotta do what
Speaker 1: you can do to take back the magic. Mm hmm,
Speaker 1: I like that. Cat. Do you think this year is
Speaker 1: more stressful for you or or more cheerful? Um? More cheerful, However,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's always stressful too, just like the
Speaker 1: getting ready for it um, but definitely more cheerful. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Are you going to make out under the Christmas tree?
Speaker 1: Maybe we look at the Christmas tree up yesterday because
Speaker 1: we're very behind because I've been sick and you know,
Speaker 1: all of the above, and like half the lights didn't work,
Speaker 1: and you know, I thought you were going to say
Speaker 1: you're putting it up. Of course, nothing was going nothing
Speaker 1: was going right, and he was, you know, Nick was
Speaker 1: like cussing and did it and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: it could have been two trees and yeah, right, that's awesome,
Speaker 1: and it is grateful for the less paperwork. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: and even though there is more paperwork on other sides,
Speaker 1: it's okay too, and that's okay, and actually that actually
Speaker 1: makes it easier. Does it call him your holiday heart
Speaker 1: that you don't have to deal with all the layers
Speaker 1: of that, layers of the ex husband, I know, your
Speaker 1: first Christmas without But I just wonder if it's like
Speaker 1: like you get a little more freedom in the holiday choice.
Speaker 1: Does it feel that way or does it feel well,
Speaker 1: this is a harder holiday for you, right, it's tough
Speaker 1: for one. Yeah, because I don't have my kids Christmas morning.
Speaker 1: Now I'm changing what I'm doing with them, which I said,
Speaker 1: you know, my Christmas Day is now Christmas Eve, which
Speaker 1: is really anointed, thank you, It really is I'm excited.
Speaker 1: It's everybody was making their way to a major But
Speaker 1: I am going to I have a week before Christmas,
Speaker 1: like the week for Christmas, I have off and I'm
Speaker 1: going on a trip. She is like, what is happening here?
Speaker 1: Are you going to grease? Because I'm gonna drop this
Speaker 1: mic and them out? No good, Oh I didn't even
Speaker 1: tell you know, but I'm just going to be so
Speaker 1: mad if you're going to grease. No, I'm going to
Speaker 1: London in the holidays. It's a movie catching up on
Speaker 1: here stresses me out. Okay. Hashtag by blank invited her
Speaker 1: to grease. Shut up. I'm sorry. Sorry to be the
Speaker 1: ones that I don't know where it was listed. I
Speaker 1: feel like I think it was my incented to queendom. Yeah. Sorry,
Speaker 1: it's funny. Who people who come back around? It's funny
Speaker 1: as are usually good for that. No, it was just yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a it's um, it's it's yeah, as certain someone
Speaker 1: came back around. But I I said, no, what did
Speaker 1: you say? Did you say it was Greece? But maybe?
Speaker 1: Uh no. Just where I'm at right now, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna be left over. That's right, that's right? Or
Speaker 1: an afterthought, that's correct, Yeah, tell us about London. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry alone, Okay, I'm having it is so magical over
Speaker 1: there right now you have I mean, you're going to
Speaker 1: be in a movie. My heart's palpitating because Katherine knows
Speaker 1: this and you know this too well. I haven't actually
Speaker 1: mentioned this on here yet. Okay, here goes. So in September,
Speaker 1: I went to my check up because I have been
Speaker 1: on anxiety us in for twenty years, sorry, eighteen years,
Speaker 1: and so I was on like a higher dose back
Speaker 1: in the day. And then I've I when I had
Speaker 1: my first kid, Jolie, obviously I weaned down because I
Speaker 1: just you know, I was reading things and I was
Speaker 1: just like, well, some might wean up. So that's an
Speaker 1: interesting choice. Yeah, it's kind of right. Whatever, So I
Speaker 1: decided to lean down, and I would still have paintic attacks.
Speaker 1: There are still things that you know, Cat would know
Speaker 1: that I would have an anxiety attack over or whatever.
Speaker 1: But then when I got divorced, so there was a
Speaker 1: thing where I said would always make up a three
Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning and have terrible anxiety if I
Speaker 1: was a three o'clock it is for me too. While
Speaker 1: my abuser. The first abuser would grab me out of
Speaker 1: the bed at three in the morning, so I'm at
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, I'm protection alone, scared,
Speaker 1: so I wake up. Yeah. So, uh, but a supposed
Speaker 1: getting divorced, I have not had a panic attack. It's
Speaker 1: like when you I was gonna say it the negative
Speaker 1: or the triggers from a past or something that may
Speaker 1: remind you of it that was still in my body
Speaker 1: because a lot of that first one, uh was carried
Speaker 1: in and felt familiar, familiar with past relationships. So yeah,
Speaker 1: So I went to my doctor and I told him
Speaker 1: I go. He goes, you still on lexapro and I said, yeah,
Speaker 1: but um, I've been doing it like sometimes I forget
Speaker 1: it's like every two days or every other day. And
Speaker 1: he goes, well, how's your anxiety? And I said, to
Speaker 1: be honest with you, doc, like I haven't had an
Speaker 1: anxiety since I got divorced. And he goes, would you
Speaker 1: want to try to wean off? And in my mind
Speaker 1: I was like can, I Like, how am I going
Speaker 1: to be okay? And he goes, well, listen, you know
Speaker 1: sometimes people need medication for their serotonin levels. And in
Speaker 1: a month or so, you might have to go back
Speaker 1: on and that's okay, don't beat yourself up, but let's
Speaker 1: try it. And here's some supplements that you can take. So, uh,
Speaker 1: this is very long winded and I'm gonna get the
Speaker 1: supplements to the full list. I've been like going down
Speaker 1: like I've just been. Yeah, so for the last so
Speaker 1: I am officially a month in a week off anxiety
Speaker 1: meds for the first time in eighteen years. Good. I
Speaker 1: have not had an anxiety attack yet. Having said that,
Speaker 1: you're flying, I'm flying to London by myself. It's magical,
Speaker 1: and I'm not in a first class seat because that
Speaker 1: ship's expensive, even premiere. I'm an economy. Well you're tiny,
Speaker 1: so it's fine, fine, and that's and I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to bougie, but like it's only my anxiety that gets
Speaker 1: because I'm I don't like to feel claustrophobic, and for
Speaker 1: nine hours on a plane on those planes is bigger
Speaker 1: than our normal American domestic airline honestly, And you're so teency.
Speaker 1: I mean I mean this, like, I just I feel
Speaker 1: bad for when I get on a plane and there's
Speaker 1: like a giant dude that comes and sits next to me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, buddy, what can I donate to you? You know,
Speaker 1: like it's gonna be great. So that's gonna be I
Speaker 1: think overnight. Yes, So I'm gonna leave Nashville at six
Speaker 1: something and then I land in London at nine. This
Speaker 1: is perfect and but yeah, I mean, this is my
Speaker 1: first solo, this long of a trip by myself. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what if I have an anxiety attack? What do I do? Like?
Speaker 1: And I know all the tricks and stuff. I just
Speaker 1: don't wanna be bummed that, like, I have an anxiety attack.
Speaker 1: I've been so like crowd that's gotten this far without
Speaker 1: notice too much too now, I think, But if it
Speaker 1: pops up, it pops up. Yeah. But yes, flying alone, y'all,
Speaker 1: I'm going to London and it's going to be so
Speaker 1: good for you. I'm so excited. I just cannot wait
Speaker 1: to explore. And how long are you going to be
Speaker 1: in their place? Five nights? Yes, five sleeps, five sleeps
Speaker 1: And I'm so good. So I'm so hopeless romantic for London.
Speaker 1: So I told I told Sepnam, who was an amazing
Speaker 1: exact over at Lifetime, that I wanted to do a
Speaker 1: remake of the holiday because that's my favorite, like my
Speaker 1: favorite movie, holiday movie. And so I told her that
Speaker 1: I was going to do some holiday hopefully remake homework.
Speaker 1: This is going to be so it's gonna gonna just
Speaker 1: write it all down and go explore and have fun.
Speaker 1: And it's going to be so beautiful there. I get wit. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and I'll keep you guys all posted by the panic
Speaker 1: attack mid air. You won't no, no, no, no. I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna put it out there that I'm I'm
Speaker 1: so excited that I'm going to take this adventure. It's
Speaker 1: not like you're going for work. It's not like you're
Speaker 1: like you're excited to be there. So I was frantic
Speaker 1: on the trip. I was nervous. When did you want
Speaker 1: to London August for what you presdon at a show
Speaker 1: over there? No? Well I knew this, no it, I
Speaker 1: just went in August president at a show I did.
Speaker 1: We did Paris for a night, very romantic that we
Speaker 1: were in London for like a week, okay, and we
Speaker 1: took I took the night flight. Br uh. Other wife
Speaker 1: of the duo was behind me, but like a couple
Speaker 1: of rows, so I didn't see her really the whole time.
Speaker 1: I actually didn'tee her the whole time. Actually, um, I
Speaker 1: had a very large guy next to me. I wish
Speaker 1: I could. I donated a little leg space too, but
Speaker 1: he It was honestly like, I just had to go.
Speaker 1: I'm in a cocoon. When do I ever get eight
Speaker 1: hours alone? Oh? Yeah? And I brought a million things
Speaker 1: from my self to do if I chose to do it.
Speaker 1: Sex in the City was playing just like that was playing,
Speaker 1: So I just watched that again. I woke up when
Speaker 1: I needed to and neck pillowed. I brought my fun
Speaker 1: little oils and I'm sure the giant bear next to
Speaker 1: me looked that, but I didn't care. And I cocooned,
Speaker 1: and when I woke up, I was in the happiest
Speaker 1: place on the plant. It's gonna be so good. You're
Speaker 1: gonna cocoon for eight hours without a panic attack. In
Speaker 1: Jesus name, We're gonna pray for you for you leave.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be good. It's gonna be great. And if
Speaker 1: I do, I'll be fine. Remember you saw me that
Speaker 1: morning and I cried, yeah with barbarand I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm nervous to leave my kids. I feel very far away.
Speaker 1: It's an ocean black, and then I just got there
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is our people are so sweet.
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to it. And then I'll be right
Speaker 1: back on Christmas Eve and then that night I'll just
Speaker 1: get all ready to get the kids on Christmas Day
Speaker 1: so they'll come to you noon on Christmas Day, I
Speaker 1: picked them up at uh Dad's house, and then you'll
Speaker 1: do Christmas Eve that night, so I will have presents
Speaker 1: under the tree for them, so at least they have
Speaker 1: something underneath the tree. And then that night we'll leave
Speaker 1: the cookies up for Santa. And then, yeah, this is
Speaker 1: going to be good. So the only thing that I'm
Speaker 1: sad about is I'm missing church. So oh, you got
Speaker 1: to find a church there. It's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1: Church there is going to be different and good. But
Speaker 1: I don't know if they would have a service on there,
Speaker 1: because okay, we'll find one. Churches will do. Like it's
Speaker 1: a little holier there than it is here anyway, because
Speaker 1: it doesn't have one on Christmas Day. Because I was
Speaker 1: gonna go Christmas Day and they don't have one, so
Speaker 1: it's either I'm going to find are there any churches
Speaker 1: that do Christmas Day here? Yes, yeah, there is. I'll
Speaker 1: find it and I've been before because that's my one thing,
Speaker 1: Like I love Christmas church. Like it's just please go
Speaker 1: find an amazingly Mas church there and just like send
Speaker 1: me all the photos by the palace. I will be
Speaker 1: sending so many photos and I'm so excited. So total
Speaker 1: side note, I'm really proud of you. Obviously I didn't
Speaker 1: get to go because I was sick. But Jason's birthday,
Speaker 1: Oh you invited, Mike. I'm so proud of you. That
Speaker 1: was great. I already shared my opinion. I just had
Speaker 1: to say that I was proud as well. I said
Speaker 1: the same thing, I think it's great, and then I
Speaker 1: told her at a Charlotte moment where I wasn't sure
Speaker 1: what i'd say to him when I saw him in
Speaker 1: person because I haven't seen him since we cleaned out
Speaker 1: his closet. Well see, yeah, yeah, that's the nice running
Speaker 1: with them. But I was literally kind of like I
Speaker 1: was sick again. But maybe my spidy senses. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's just trying to just again have that
Speaker 1: I said the last episodes, like I just want everyone
Speaker 1: to be happy and I will do whatever to make
Speaker 1: my children happy and it doesn't take away anything, Yeah,
Speaker 1: to have him here in those moments, to make to
Speaker 1: see my kids smile so big. I've been following along.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend created this instagram um Mindful co Parenting, and
Speaker 1: she is speaking, she's licensed and has a million degrees.
Speaker 1: She's really brilliant. But it's been interesting to hear what
Speaker 1: she has to say about co parenting and how much
Speaker 1: of it you already do. It's really brilliant. Like just
Speaker 1: a lot of really good things, even things I didn't
Speaker 1: think of that you guys go through that's so unique
Speaker 1: to that walk that I'm just really proud of you,
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, wow, you're already nailing that, or like wow,
Speaker 1: that's a really good I don't know, it's just really
Speaker 1: it's not easy to anybody that's navigating co parenting through
Speaker 1: the holidays, Like I just am really proud of you,
Speaker 1: and it's not easy. And you have to relinquish control
Speaker 1: over like the most sacred piece of your heart being
Speaker 1: outside of your body and I just can't imagine yea.
Speaker 1: And I think it's one of those things too where
Speaker 1: it's like am I happy that you know I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna have the kids know and do I want to
Speaker 1: mother if you know, and be like, ah, this is
Speaker 1: all your like, but what does that do? It doesn't
Speaker 1: do anything anything. So it's like we know where we're at.
Speaker 1: It's like it just has at some point it has
Speaker 1: to stop. It's like for the stop that like why
Speaker 1: you know? So it's just what it is. There's no
Speaker 1: changing anything anymore. There's no going back. There's no and
Speaker 1: sometimes I might have to, Like on therapy, we talk
Speaker 1: about our acre, like who's coming on my acre? And
Speaker 1: maybe there's times when I'm not gonna be okay and
Speaker 1: I don't want him on my acre, and I get
Speaker 1: to make that choice. I have a double gate on
Speaker 1: my acre. Did you do the acre? Did not do
Speaker 1: the acre. So it's basically about who you allow in
Speaker 1: your space and who gets to come on your acre.
Speaker 1: So there's certain people like you guys have my door
Speaker 1: code and you're allowed in my backspace, which is my sacred,
Speaker 1: sacred watching the sunset. But there's people that I'm not
Speaker 1: going to let in on my acre. And for example,
Speaker 1: you know, someone like an X won't have my code
Speaker 1: to my acre, they can't get on and I have
Speaker 1: And she's like, you know, what do the walls look like.
Speaker 1: And I was telling Christen, like, my my fence you
Speaker 1: can see through. So I'm still I'm still welcoming, but
Speaker 1: I'm also there's a there's a gate, and you can't
Speaker 1: come in unless you know the code. So I actually
Speaker 1: put a bench outside of my gate. You're welcome to
Speaker 1: sit outside of my acre. I want you to be
Speaker 1: comfy out there without a code. What would your acre
Speaker 1: look like? Oh my gosh, I don't know. And you can,
Speaker 1: like things can be buried on your acre and you
Speaker 1: can dig things up on it was It's really therapeutic.
Speaker 1: And I think that would be something cool too for
Speaker 1: you guys. Listen, because there's so many times where I think,
Speaker 1: and I've learned this just with dating, letting people in
Speaker 1: my space, that I like, shoot, that just tainted my healthy,
Speaker 1: you know, happy vibe in my place. And so this way,
Speaker 1: it's like you're more mindful of who you let on
Speaker 1: your acre, in your house, in your special place. I
Speaker 1: think for me, it's like when I've let people on
Speaker 1: and then I just have this like guilt ridden, shameful,
Speaker 1: like now they're there and I don't want them there,
Speaker 1: and why did I let them in? And why did
Speaker 1: I give it? You know, like I don't like that piece,
Speaker 1: and it's kind of refreshing to be like, oh no,
Speaker 1: new acre moving you out. There's the bench and it's
Speaker 1: yours to be able to say who and not until exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I felt terrible telling Homeboy Hawk Girl Summer to leave.
Speaker 1: At the same time, this is my house, and if
Speaker 1: I don't want you here, I'm gonna respectfully say please leave.
Speaker 1: But before I would be so people pleasing that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Yeah, I understand. I
Speaker 1: think that's a human I also think there's like a dominant,
Speaker 1: a male dominant energy it we all navigate to. It's
Speaker 1: more of a danger maybe feeling than disrespectful, like if
Speaker 1: you know where I live, I don't want you to
Speaker 1: make I don't want to make you too unhappy. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's my own personal experience where I've been like, oh,
Speaker 1: let's just make the smooth edges so that way you're
Speaker 1: not going to come back here when you're not supposed to.
Speaker 1: Acreage interesting, give it a try. It's listed somewhere. You
Speaker 1: should post it. Yeah, there's like a she actually lists questions. Okay,
Speaker 1: Amy has to ask her YEA or d M the
Speaker 1: Refuge Therapy Counseling Center in Nashville, because that's where we
Speaker 1: all go. Do you still go okay, yes, but I'm
Speaker 1: not going until next year. Okay. She kind of like
Speaker 1: closed it out ish. But I think that that always
Speaker 1: makes me laugh when we get to this point in
Speaker 1: the year and people are like, I'm not going till
Speaker 1: next year. Why does that always get to me. I'm
Speaker 1: like that new year you well, it's been membership. See
Speaker 1: you guys next year, wink. It's like a month ago.
Speaker 1: I can't remember. But it was kind of like kind
Speaker 1: of like this wrap up email that was like, you
Speaker 1: know when you first came to me, here, we're your
Speaker 1: goals here where you're blah blah blah blah blah. I
Speaker 1: feel like we hit those we did this blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: Call me anytime, But you know, did it feel like
Speaker 1: a breakup. I'd be devastating reap, I know, the recap,
Speaker 1: But it was great because I could look back. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I don't remember saying that that in
Speaker 1: that at the beginning, kind of going okay, I did
Speaker 1: accomplish my goals for that, so my goals going forward
Speaker 1: are just different and so it's going to be like
Speaker 1: a less often. But starting in January, Yeah, she was
Speaker 1: like you can She was like, you can pick when
Speaker 1: you cook and I just come see you and say hi,
Speaker 1: which I felt like. I was like, are you trying
Speaker 1: to break up with me? And she was like, I don't.
Speaker 1: Kind of like a breakup. Yeah, but I think if
Speaker 1: I got a recap email, I wouldn't need that. One
Speaker 1: resuscitation threw me for a loop. It was like a
Speaker 1: legit recap email. Great news is I don't see any
Speaker 1: recaps in my near future. I think Amy is life
Speaker 1: enough trauma that we need to sort through that very
Speaker 1: very specific reason. So yeah, you went into yeah to
Speaker 1: figure out whether to stay or not. So it was
Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, and I'd already kind of
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm sure other family stuff and all
Speaker 1: that stuff will still come up, but I feel like
Speaker 1: we kind of in the season of st Nick. You
Speaker 1: know you're back. What a wonderful part of the year. Man?
Speaker 1: What else you got? Can I know anything about? Are
Speaker 1: you meeting anyone in London? I just want to know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I want to know. I've got to
Speaker 1: ask the questions. So that's not a no. That's definitely
Speaker 1: not a no. Do you see her face? I know,
Speaker 1: well she had a light up about London that I thought,
Speaker 1: but you know what, keep it. You keep that for yourself,
Speaker 1: you goin to keep it for myself. I just want
Speaker 1: to asked her now, that's all. I don't need a name.
Speaker 1: I think we got her. I think you know the
Speaker 1: answer ink and I will just say, does he have
Speaker 1: a London accent? He has English? He has an accent.
Speaker 1: It's not British. That's an accent. That'll do it. That'll
Speaker 1: make a girl get anyways, anyways, I yeah, just I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just yeah, yeah. See London and Love was our
Speaker 1: hashtag when Preston and I went, and it was very
Speaker 1: good for our relationship to be in London. Oh that's
Speaker 1: going to be our hashtag for First of all, what's
Speaker 1: our nickname for whoever? This guy? This poor guy is
Speaker 1: like I'm like guys like I'm probably the biggest walking red. Like,
Speaker 1: don't date her. She's gonna come up with a name
Speaker 1: for you. You don't come up with the name. You
Speaker 1: don't do it. Hashtag for her London trip you think
Speaker 1: on that. Let us snuff send it to the queendom.
Speaker 1: I do you want to say something? Can I say
Speaker 1: something about it? It's your podcast. You can do whatever
Speaker 1: you want with wind Down with Janne Kramer slash Friends.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're gonna go and let you say whatever
Speaker 1: you want. Jackie just came in, and let's call him
Speaker 1: London since she was going there with him. Alright, London.
Speaker 1: But there's something you guys are so mean. If we
Speaker 1: call him London that would throw people for a loop.
Speaker 1: Then call him London. Then we shall call him London.
Speaker 1: We shall call him London. But this, I want to
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna say. I'm going to I feel
Speaker 1: like I just want to puke though, too, Okay, just
Speaker 1: you know, because I sometimes I'm like, do you wanna
Speaker 1: just shut up? But I feel that way here and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I shouldn't have said I feel that already
Speaker 1: about the holidays. I shouldn't have said all the things
Speaker 1: about the holidays. Yeah, I mean, because I've been very
Speaker 1: private and I haven't shared who I've talked to and
Speaker 1: past or whatever. You really haven't. Thank you. Here's where
Speaker 1: I feel a little silly and I'm curious. I would
Speaker 1: love your guys opinion. Okay, okay, okay, Sometimes when you
Speaker 1: meet someone it feels different. Why are you leaving me
Speaker 1: like that? Live for those moments? Oh? To feel different?
Speaker 1: That's that's it. Go ahead, continue, We're hanging on your
Speaker 1: d Oh tell us more. That scares me because if
Speaker 1: it's not real, or then I will feel stupid to
Speaker 1: end to go did I or did I? Or I'll
Speaker 1: question my I what I'm thinking to intuition no, and
Speaker 1: what Amy always tells me to. And I said, I
Speaker 1: brought this up to her about something that I was
Speaker 1: going through. Um, like a few months ago. I said,
Speaker 1: I had so much anxiety in my body, and Amy,
Speaker 1: I don't want you know, to have I didn't have
Speaker 1: anxiet attack, but I could my heart was like pounding
Speaker 1: and just felt heavy. And she goes you, she's like,
Speaker 1: how do I not let that affect me? And she goes,
Speaker 1: you have to listen to your body. She's like your body.
Speaker 1: She's like, I don't want you to lose that piece
Speaker 1: of that that piece of anxiety or that. She's like,
Speaker 1: because you're there's like that book to like your body
Speaker 1: keeps score. Your body is going to tell you when
Speaker 1: something doesn't feel safe or doesn't feel right or doesn't
Speaker 1: feel She's like, that's what you need to listen to.
Speaker 1: So now my body is telling me something. But is
Speaker 1: it just like this? Am I crazy? And then also
Speaker 1: in my mind, I'm like, it's just gonna crash and burn?
Speaker 1: And but it's weird to me because I'm like, do
Speaker 1: I I feel stupid saying it feels different? And then
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be like, oh no, that's or is
Speaker 1: that just life and things like that happen. If that happens, well,
Speaker 1: I think it's just life. But I think you need
Speaker 1: to look. I think you need to have a positive
Speaker 1: outlook on any dating relationship honestly, instead of just assuming
Speaker 1: it's going to crash and burn. I think it's a
Speaker 1: testament to your heart. Like the thing that I've always
Speaker 1: loved about you, even when we met a million years ago,
Speaker 1: seventeen chapters ago, God, we've really been through it. I
Speaker 1: just I've always just enjoyed how genuine your heart is.
Speaker 1: And actually on the way here, I was voiced memo
Speaker 1: and a girlfriend and I was like, I think you
Speaker 1: and I was what I said in the in the message,
Speaker 1: I was like, I think you and I and I
Speaker 1: actually said in Jianna Kramer are the only hopeless romantics
Speaker 1: left in the world, Like there's just something about believing
Speaker 1: in it that I refuse to let go of. And
Speaker 1: when things get discouraging to me in my own personal life,
Speaker 1: and I don't feel the hopeless romantic Like that's why
Speaker 1: London meant something to me, because I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Like it's like you have to travel
Speaker 1: far enough to get away from the noise for a
Speaker 1: minute so you can just see each other. But like
Speaker 1: loving and wanting to love is the bravest human thing.
Speaker 1: It just is. So even if it doesn't work out,
Speaker 1: who cares? Like that pure hearted like want to go
Speaker 1: in and maybe find out and kiss a face and
Speaker 1: hear an accent and see where it lands. And I
Speaker 1: have some good movie material for my next lifetimes and
Speaker 1: eat endless amazing French fries, like do it and do
Speaker 1: it for everybody that just is too skeptical to step
Speaker 1: out of their house. Keep doing it because it's inspiring
Speaker 1: to people that you just don't stop and okay, okay,
Speaker 1: And I mean that like from my heart. That's not
Speaker 1: maybeing a people Like I'm just saying, like go be
Speaker 1: the brave heart because we all need to see that
Speaker 1: people can crash and burnt. Oh, I can't wait. Where
Speaker 1: will the wedding be. I just need to be the
Speaker 1: fly on the wall here, like I want to be there.
Speaker 1: I think you're right I should. Just it's really crazy
Speaker 1: though that I said that, And um, let's just keep
Speaker 1: note of that. Yeah. I don't think it's naive. I
Speaker 1: think your intuition is great. You've grown your intuition and
Speaker 1: you've listened to yourself so well over the last year
Speaker 1: and a half. You're doing the work to listen to
Speaker 1: you to know what you need to not be afraid
Speaker 1: to be alone on your birthday crying in a closet, Like,
Speaker 1: let's just celebrate and have the time of your life.
Speaker 1: Life is short. Yeah, well that and that's the thing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, life is so short. I'm gonna go and
Speaker 1: have a great time. If it doesn't whatever, I just
Speaker 1: I will say though, it feels nice to feel different
Speaker 1: something and different. That's all say, and that is enough
Speaker 1: for all of us. But it's just it's kind of
Speaker 1: like it's I was telling my friend Lisa um Turkis,
Speaker 1: I was like, it just feels nice to just feel
Speaker 1: that and whether it doesn't work out, it says it's nice,
Speaker 1: it's nice, Yeah, it's nice. So I followed Butterflies all
Speaker 1: the way to London. I had this moment, I don't
Speaker 1: want to talk to you too too much, but you
Speaker 1: like this, I think, okay. So I was like, God,
Speaker 1: I need a sign because I'm just really overwhelmed with
Speaker 1: the leaving and the trap and what am I doing?
Speaker 1: And I feel like the stupid girl that even though
Speaker 1: he's my husband, like I was like leaving kids and
Speaker 1: it felt far and I'm like, what am I doing?
Speaker 1: And so I was like, I really need a sign.
Speaker 1: And then I had this moment where I remembered when
Speaker 1: pressed I'm speed dating because I don't want to bore anybody,
Speaker 1: But at this moment where I was like when we
Speaker 1: met we talked, he said I was a butterfly in
Speaker 1: a cage, or I was a butterfly that got cotton
Speaker 1: net and someone put me in a jar, and I
Speaker 1: didn't deserve to have a lid put on my jar,
Speaker 1: and that he was going to take the lid off
Speaker 1: and it was going to be a lidless life. And
Speaker 1: that was our big motto for like the first couple
Speaker 1: of years of our relationship, lidless life. Okay, lots of
Speaker 1: other really beautiful details in there. We'll safe. So I'm
Speaker 1: getting ready at the day I'm supposed to leave for London.
Speaker 1: I'm like anxiety written might have taken half a ziccau
Speaker 1: is not gonna lie just to like get my nervous
Speaker 1: system back to like where I could operate like a
Speaker 1: normal human. And I'm stating the stop light and I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, God, I need a sign, like if
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to go to London now. Our couple's therapist
Speaker 1: has said, I need you to to chase each other.
Speaker 1: That was one thing he kept saying, I want you
Speaker 1: guys to just lean into chasing each other a little,
Speaker 1: because we're both a little stubborn and we both kind
Speaker 1: of go to our own corners. Sitting at the stoplight
Speaker 1: and like, give me a sign, no joke too. Butterflies
Speaker 1: hit my windshield chasing each other and fly off, and
Speaker 1: I was like, following the butterflies. I get to the airport.
Speaker 1: There's a butterfly in the airport. When does that happen?
Speaker 1: It be it doesn't. And every time I got scared,
Speaker 1: I followed a butterfly, and I followed the butterflies all
Speaker 1: through London in Paris, and it follow your butterflies, Cramer, Butterflies.
Speaker 1: It's a fun that. I'm just like, when is he
Speaker 1: gonna But you know what, none of this is even
Speaker 1: about him, know, it's really just about you anyways. It's
Speaker 1: your experience. You get to go live London the way
Speaker 1: you want to make out a couple of times, have
Speaker 1: the time in your life following Butterflies. It's going to
Speaker 1: be good. It's going to be good. H Well we
Speaker 1: made it third episode. Not crying I almost did, but happy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just proud of you. You guys, what a season.
Speaker 1: Kat gets to spend a season with your family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be calling you from London and being
Speaker 1: like I need to get home right, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be It's fine. I'll be ready to go absolutely, Catherine.
Speaker 1: I would. I mean, I don't have a prescription, but
Speaker 1: I'll work. I'll know. I thought you have some here.
Speaker 1: I thought you meant like to London, should see me.
Speaker 1: If if I just dad have xan X on the
Speaker 1: end here, I'll ship it to you. I will have
Speaker 1: flight options ready to go. But if I have to
Speaker 1: fly to London to get you, you know I will. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have it's gonna be even gonna hear from you.
Speaker 1: I have a couple of places I need you to
Speaker 1: go that are just like really fun and take you
Speaker 1: so into another place. It's going to be so good. Okay, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: guys kiss. We're gonna have another episode before we go
Speaker 1: to London, so we've got other stuff to chat about.
Speaker 1: But until then, ah, happy holidays, whatever that means for you.