WEBVTT - The Christmas Trip 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:05.359 Wine down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:10.520 We have a lot to talk about. I mean, where 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:15.480 do we start, Katherine, I haven't seen you since Los Angeles? Like, 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:17.479 how long ago was that? Because it feels like a 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:19.640 couple of months. It feels like a month. I think 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:22.640 it was only two weeks. I think it was three weeks. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:29.080 Three weeks. It was Los Angeles. It was one yes, 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:32.800 for almost three weeks. This week is the longest if 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.159 I feel like, but minus when I lived in Los Angeles, 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.479 you like, yeah, I like walked in and I was like, 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:40.000 and you get five minutes, tell me everything that's happened, 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:45.280 and I'm like, wow, this that? Um yeah, and catch 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:48.280 us up. I mean, well, for I want to start 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:51.960 with a few things first before we get into I mean, 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:55.279 because they had this a topic sheet of things we 0:00:55.280 --> 0:01:00.360 were supposed to talk about. Um, there's some there's some 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:02.240 good chats in there, but I do want to start 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:05.240 with the should we wait with the B one or 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.480 or to do like light stuff first, Let's light. Let's 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:13.280 either way, it's start light. Okay, Okay, she wasn't ready. 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.600 It was your birthday. Tell us about your birthday? Birthday? 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:22.920 It was you guys, I think I did. I say 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:24.360 I was supposed to be in the Bahamas on the 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.560 last episode. I don't. I can't remember. I listened back 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:30.319 to a few minutes of it because it was some 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:31.679 of the things we said were so funny, and I 0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:34.160 was gonna screen memo it to you because we talked 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:35.759 about how we went to the beach and we were 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:42.840 like take away ourselves, doubts and whatever. I would rather like, 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:47.720 like catherinee chocolate cookies, doing emails, attel room, which is 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:51.360 my heaven, by the way, doing emails while y'all are 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:55.760 just like washing everything away, writing the words insecurity, fear control, 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.280 and watching the ocean sweep them away. And I'm like 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:01.840 her my last email. That's literally what he said. That's 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:03.680 why you have to listen to because it was so funny. 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:09.240 Thanks advance, Thanks in advance, but so obviously. I I 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.960 think I talked about the changing of the trip and stuff. 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:15.640 But you, guys, Okay, I told you I don't go 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:23.440 down the Why haven't I've blocked myself from reading comments. Okay, No, 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:27.680 if it's about me, I don't want to know. Okay, 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.919 but you unblocked yourself when you read some comments on 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:37.720 my birthday, he self gutting and it is. It was 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:45.440 funny because they were like, the queendom is falling, call 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:53.239 us the queendom and they were like that she's so 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:58.400 I'm offended. We are not. It's hilarious. Do you know 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:01.519 what I want to say? Up listening if you think 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:05.400 we're dumb? And I said that, so Sorority, I'm for 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:13.160 sure getting just annihilated, and you run out. Okay, I'm like, okay, yeah, 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:16.200 super credible Reddit. I haven't done that a very long time. Yeah, 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.120 and I haven't either, and it's felt great. And I 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:20.359 was kind of just like, why do they care? Well, 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:23.200 why do I care? Is that's the bigger question. But 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:26.680 why do they care? Right? But it was so funny. 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:32.200 So because you didn't you didn't post my happy Birthday 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:34.920 until later in the day, and Pam and Julie never 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:39.680 said never did and I had a type of and 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:44.560 mine was awesome. You guys really good. But can I 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:46.760 just share with the world what I was doing because 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.720 I was driving me two kids in a babysitter six hours. 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:52.120 Nowhere cares about what we actually hadn't going on, And 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:55.840 I don't care if I knew it you know, Pam 0:03:55.840 --> 0:03:58.600 and I, you know, we had a like I saw her, 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:02.200 you know, we same with you. I'm like, it's so 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:05.200 funny how people. And here's the thing too, because I 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:07.480 didn't actually for the first time when I was reading 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.360 some of the stuff, it actually it made me laugh 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:16.920 because how off base they were on I mean, all 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:21.760 of it. I am so angry, don't it's actually it's 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:25.240 but it's it's interesting because we put ourselves out there 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:29.159 to be then right, just like the Kardashians or we 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:33.800 are saying we are. I'm just saying, anybody that is 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:38.000 in a public platform, you are going to then be 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:41.080 picked apart or And I was talking to someone last 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:44.600 night and he's like, would because I was telling him 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:49.960 some of the funny stuff and what's his name? Dramatic 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:54.920 pauses are my favorite pauses. And he's like, would you 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:57.479 this is the question I want to pose to you guys. 0:04:57.600 --> 0:05:01.360 Would you walk into a bar and ask fifty people 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:06.680 what they think of you? No? No, I wouldn't talk 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:12.120 to fifty people in a bar. To the hotel room 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:14.640 with her computer and kind or chocolate cookies, But no, 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:18.440 I wouldn't. I would never see because I don't care right, 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:22.600 unfortunately until they call me queen dumb and now buyed up. 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.279 Come at, I do care, but I wouldn't ask. I 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:28.080 don't care really, But also, why are you in a bar? 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:33.880 So then okay, let's say arrest your kidding. It's funny though, 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.279 because when you say because I know you can, and 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:38.320 I know how much you care when someone I mean, 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:40.280 for example, a situation that you went through a couple 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.279 of months ago, like you you went forward until you guys, 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:48.039 had she knew or whoever? Absolutely, I definitely care, but 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.800 I still wouldn't go ask fifty people yeah, because I 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:54.599 wouldn't want to know. Here's the thing, too, is what 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:56.560 I said to that person was they wouldn't tell you 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:58.920 the truth if to your face anyways, because it's always 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:02.760 behind it. So they're gonna say, oh my gosh, of 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:04.680 course I love you, you're the best, whatever, and then 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:06.240 they're going to go behind your back and they're going 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:09.000 to write hateful things because they think that they know 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.320 your life or know who you are. No, And that's 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:16.880 the piece like where I I think even a year 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:19.000 from now. A year ago I would have been like yeah, 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:20.760 I would ask, but now I'm like no, because I 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:25.040 know that that's not like we know who's we are, right, 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.080 I'm not a daughter of the king. I'm royalty and 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:32.480 I'm not dumb, So peace out should have told you that. 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:37.200 I think I thought it was just so funny and like, yeah, 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.800 there was just I mean they were talking about how, 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:44.479 um my last relationship, you know, crash and burn. I'm like, 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:48.120 I wasn't even in a relationship, like you can't even 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:50.679 be friends with some It was just it was so 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:53.600 funny how I don't know, So I just thought that 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:55.760 was funny, but I had I did. I laughed at 0:06:55.760 --> 0:07:01.040 because the queendom part was just were the Queendom. I 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:03.880 can't wait to just excessively post on our big queendom 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:07.960 Christmas party. Stay tuned you And the reason Julie can't 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:10.600 come is because she's not available because she's got Don 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:15.080 in advance. He's coming now, we'll take it to her. 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:21.560 But my birthday was actually great, and um I thirty 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:25.200 nine thirty nine. I flew home from Chicago the night 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:27.840 before and you guys had already had plans. You were 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:31.120 gone at a cheer thing. You were gone, And I 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:33.040 know that the fort is going to be like a 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:36.080 big bash and so on my calendar. Well, you were 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:39.000 going to Bahama, I was gonna Wassmas. Yeah, but then 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:41.960 Chicago fire happened, which was such an awesome experience, and 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.320 I hope they bring a cute on there. I'm excited. 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.720 It's so different than anything you've done. So it's fun 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:50.880 to see you in a suit and with a with 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:55.880 a pony. But no, it was great. I had a 0:07:55.880 --> 0:08:00.080 great time, and I had a bottle of wine in 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.720 and I wrote down my goals of what I want 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:04.640 to still shed in thirty nine. Like you told me. 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.360 I listened to that, and so I have my whole 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:15.240 goal list of what I want to do, saying like 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.400 you would never write in the list, I'm like, I'm not. 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:19.239 I like lit a candle and I had a bottle 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:22.840 of wine and I'm just like, this is my um. 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:24.960 You know everything that I'm going to shed to move 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.640 into forty and things that you know, it's going to 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.640 be a good decade. It was so great, and I 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:33.000 went to bed and it was it was It was 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.280 the most And I just never in a million years 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.520 thought I'd get to a place where I would celebrate 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:43.440 my birthday. So that's growth. It's almost like and be 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:46.000 amazing and happy, like in the closet crying. I feel 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:51.080 like it's divine timing years. I can't it's New Years 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:56.160 like every New Year's I do. I just you don't 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:58.880 think when the there's only forty eight hours to my birthday, 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:02.080 when the I want this year because I'm so hopeful 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:04.800 and happy. Okay, But I do think God did it 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:09.000 on purpose this year which one you were because and 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:11.080 so we were all like, okay, we're gonna skit scat 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:14.360 scatter around, yeah okay, and then you're like, I'm not 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:17.040 gonna Bahama Chicago fire, and we're like that is colder 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:21.240 than we originally planned. And then there you are, and 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:23.840 I think, like, think of all the people that love you, 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:27.000 that would want to do that day with you. It's 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:30.200 God like literally just clearing the road so you could 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:33.120 just be with yourself. It was so great. It was 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:36.200 so great good. That was awesome. I loved every minute 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:39.720 of it. And just like I said, I'm the last podcast, 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:44.640 like it's good to be in this space to just 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:47.720 have those moments of peace and be happy and not 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.800 crying my closet, like Cat said, because let us recall 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.400 my thirty at birthday when I was under my cover's 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:59.760 bawling my eyes out. I'm alone. Birthdays are tricky, tricky 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:02.800 for anyone listening that is coming up to thirty. It 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:06.680 is just not even what you think it is. Take 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:10.040 a moment and just love on yourself, have a drink 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:14.440 or don't. Don't be hard on yourself. You're just getting started. 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:20.920 Oh yeah, and forties, I'm just so excited. Was that 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:26.560 facetious or for real? Guys, you shed your givers ship 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:29.839 in your forties. The boundaries are getting so much clear. 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:35.600 Boundary hard yesterday, and I really just it's just us girls. 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:38.600 It's just us girls and people that think we're queendom um. 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:43.480 So the holidays are coming. I just want to speak 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:46.839 into the people that don't feel extra lovey dovey over 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.840 the holidays, like Jesus is the reason for my season 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:53.199 and ours on the couch. But also tricky for a 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.520 lot of people to navigate all the responsibilities, all of 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.480 the millions things, the programs, the gifts, the blah blah, 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:03.640 the hosting. So I asked to the family, which family 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:10.840 your extended family are just No? I just we hosted 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:15.440 our house every Christmas, typically four days sometimes five, but 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:19.840 I do breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It is very much 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:23.319 a come and be hosted. Okay, play with the grandkids. 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:28.520 No offense to anyone, but like I've literally asked several times, 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:30.559 just trying to create a plan. I don't know about you, guys, 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:34.840 but December is flying, flying, like it's already gone and 0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:37.000 it has just begun. Like I can't figure it out. 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:38.800 So I thought, okay, let me just like lay out 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:40.960 the calendar here because I'm also trying to get some quality, 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.320 good family time in with the Core four as I 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:47.240 call us um because Dad has been gone a ton 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.160 this year, which is great, but also just like it's 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:52.080 been a lot. Kids are older, they're noticing, you know, 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:53.960 we need a little like core or four times. So 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:57.439 I reach out several times like can we get a 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:00.240 guys gonna come before? Do you want to come after Christmas? Us? 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:04.840 I get nothing back that's helpful for're planning several times, 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:08.120 and so yesterday, so two days ago, I write at 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:10.120 five o'clock at night and just say, hey, would you 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:13.480 like to come or would you prefer to come the 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.400 twenty nine? It's Christmas? Even Christmas are not an option. 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.000 I don't say that. No, it never has been. I 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.800 protected hard because the Prince of piece. I need that 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.880 magical merry moment where it's like I need to listen 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.280 to Jessica Simpson belt Holy Night. I need a moment 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:33.280 for myself. So I go to sleep that night, I 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:35.000 get nothing back. I get nothing back. So you know what. 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:37.840 I woke up the next morning, I thought, w W 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:40.680 j D and I'm just kidding. I was like, what 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.720 do I need out of the season, And I thought, 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:45.880 I don't want to rush to get ready for them 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:48.200 on the twenty It would be nice to have them after. 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.120 And so I sent a message and said, it looks 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:53.480 like what will work best for us is the twenty 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:55.679 six through the twenty nine. Can't wait to see you. 0:12:57.080 --> 0:13:00.400 And that was it. That's amazing. Did you get a 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:05.760 responsing actually works best? Okay? And I was like, I 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.040 feel really good about it. I I sat with what 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:11.000 you I just got to a point where I'm like, 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.080 I'm I'm asking you when you want to come to 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:18.560 be hosted. This is not like a difficult yeah, And 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:21.160 I'm asking people that don't have jobs and don't have 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:23.840 you know, like the world's your oyster. So just pick 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:25.360 a time you'd like to come and be loved on 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:29.560 and hang out with your two really fun grandkids. Do 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:33.760 they actually hang with the grandkids though? Um, Preston's mom 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:37.480 is incredible. That's great. She is. She doesn't make sense. 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:39.760 I think in lives there are creatures and there are people. 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:43.400 She's a creature. She needs her own habitat, she's got 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:46.360 her own food, she's got her own agenda. She's not 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:49.480 She's on a different imaginary level than anybody I've ever met. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:53.320 So she's incredible. And pop Up loves Fox News and 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.360 he just loves to just watch Fox News on love 0:13:57.440 --> 0:13:59.480 And that's okay. I mean, it all is what it is, 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:01.760 but I wish us like I don't even think they 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:03.560 care as much as I care, and I put all 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.719 the stress on me and then I've slowly just let 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.240 go of that, and now I'm like, what works for you? 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:12.240 See a lot of that this year because you unhosted. 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:16.439 Proud of you? Are you? Guys? That's what quiet quitting is. 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:20.280 Isn't that a new thing among like the workforce? Quiet quitting? 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:25.320 I think I'm quiet quitting. I'm a quiet quitter. That's good. Great, 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.400 So that's great you sat with it and you then 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:30.760 spoke of what you needed and what you wanted instead 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.240 of yeah, because it's when something if it didn't feel good, 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:36.040 that wouldn't be a good thing, and it doesn't have 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:39.040 you good. And there's a lot more of us that 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.400 it doesn't feel good for that we just don't speak 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:44.200 up or we're like watching all these magical moments on 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.480 Instagram and then it feels defeating. And I think you 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.400 feel like, you know, a lot of us don't have 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:54.120 the family that we wish we had. I don't and 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:56.560 I never have, so I've had to create memories with 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.640 my friends and like I've supplemented and God has given 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.800 me rate supplements for that. But it's just okay that 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:04.880 it's not magical for you and you gotta do what 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.480 you can do to take back the magic. Mm hmm, 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:22.680 I like that. Cat. Do you think this year is 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:30.360 more stressful for you or or more cheerful? Um? More cheerful, However, 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:33.680 I feel like it's always stressful too, just like the 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:37.200 getting ready for it um, but definitely more cheerful. I'm excited. 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:38.960 Are you going to make out under the Christmas tree? 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.920 Maybe we look at the Christmas tree up yesterday because 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:44.120 we're very behind because I've been sick and you know, 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.880 all of the above, and like half the lights didn't work, 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:48.240 and you know, I thought you were going to say 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:52.160 you're putting it up. Of course, nothing was going nothing 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:54.160 was going right, and he was, you know, Nick was 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:55.880 like cussing and did it and I was like, hey, 0:15:55.920 --> 0:16:03.120 it could have been two trees and yeah, right, that's awesome, 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:06.320 and it is grateful for the less paperwork. Yeah, exactly, 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:09.800 and even though there is more paperwork on other sides, 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:14.040 it's okay too, and that's okay, and actually that actually 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:18.360 makes it easier. Does it call him your holiday heart 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.240 that you don't have to deal with all the layers 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:26.280 of that, layers of the ex husband, I know, your 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:29.320 first Christmas without But I just wonder if it's like 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:34.200 like you get a little more freedom in the holiday choice. 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:36.640 Does it feel that way or does it feel well, 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:38.800 this is a harder holiday for you, right, it's tough 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.400 for one. Yeah, because I don't have my kids Christmas morning. 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:44.440 Now I'm changing what I'm doing with them, which I said, 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:47.280 you know, my Christmas Day is now Christmas Eve, which 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:51.040 is really anointed, thank you, It really is I'm excited. 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:55.120 It's everybody was making their way to a major But 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:59.400 I am going to I have a week before Christmas, 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.160 like the week for Christmas, I have off and I'm 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:08.000 going on a trip. She is like, what is happening here? 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:10.399 Are you going to grease? Because I'm gonna drop this 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:13.640 mic and them out? No good, Oh I didn't even 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.320 tell you know, but I'm just going to be so 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:18.119 mad if you're going to grease. No, I'm going to 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:29.960 London in the holidays. It's a movie catching up on 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:33.159 here stresses me out. Okay. Hashtag by blank invited her 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:37.879 to grease. Shut up. I'm sorry. Sorry to be the 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:41.240 ones that I don't know where it was listed. I 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:45.520 feel like I think it was my incented to queendom. Yeah. Sorry, 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:50.159 it's funny. Who people who come back around? It's funny 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:55.160 as are usually good for that. No, it was just yeah, 0:17:55.160 --> 0:18:01.800 it's a it's um, it's it's yeah, as certain someone 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:09.560 came back around. But I I said, no, what did 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.879 you say? Did you say it was Greece? But maybe? 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:17.400 Uh no. Just where I'm at right now, I'm I'm 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:22.840 not gonna be left over. That's right, that's right? Or 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:29.440 an afterthought, that's correct, Yeah, tell us about London. I'm 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:35.840 sorry alone, Okay, I'm having it is so magical over 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:37.520 there right now you have I mean, you're going to 0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:42.480 be in a movie. My heart's palpitating because Katherine knows 0:18:42.520 --> 0:18:45.000 this and you know this too well. I haven't actually 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:55.080 mentioned this on here yet. Okay, here goes. So in September, 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:58.840 I went to my check up because I have been 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:04.600 on anxiety us in for twenty years, sorry, eighteen years, 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:13.240 and so I was on like a higher dose back 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:15.520 in the day. And then I've I when I had 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:20.679 my first kid, Jolie, obviously I weaned down because I 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:22.879 just you know, I was reading things and I was 0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:25.520 just like, well, some might wean up. So that's an 0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:30.320 interesting choice. Yeah, it's kind of right. Whatever, So I 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.760 decided to lean down, and I would still have paintic attacks. 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:35.960 There are still things that you know, Cat would know 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:37.919 that I would have an anxiety attack over or whatever. 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.200 But then when I got divorced, so there was a 0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:42.680 thing where I said would always make up a three 0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:45.080 o'clock in the morning and have terrible anxiety if I 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:47.640 was a three o'clock it is for me too. While 0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:50.879 my abuser. The first abuser would grab me out of 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:53.679 the bed at three in the morning, so I'm at 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:57.960 in the middle of the night, I'm protection alone, scared, 0:19:58.119 --> 0:20:05.120 so I wake up. Yeah. So, uh, but a supposed 0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:10.720 getting divorced, I have not had a panic attack. It's 0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:15.480 like when you I was gonna say it the negative 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.719 or the triggers from a past or something that may 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:23.560 remind you of it that was still in my body 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:28.600 because a lot of that first one, uh was carried 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:34.600 in and felt familiar, familiar with past relationships. So yeah, 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:37.040 So I went to my doctor and I told him 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:39.600 I go. He goes, you still on lexapro and I said, yeah, 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:42.960 but um, I've been doing it like sometimes I forget 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:45.199 it's like every two days or every other day. And 0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:48.000 he goes, well, how's your anxiety? And I said, to 0:20:48.080 --> 0:20:49.600 be honest with you, doc, like I haven't had an 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:53.199 anxiety since I got divorced. And he goes, would you 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:55.480 want to try to wean off? And in my mind 0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:59.320 I was like can, I Like, how am I going 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:01.560 to be okay? And he goes, well, listen, you know 0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:04.800 sometimes people need medication for their serotonin levels. And in 0:21:05.040 --> 0:21:06.800 a month or so, you might have to go back 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:10.480 on and that's okay, don't beat yourself up, but let's 0:21:10.480 --> 0:21:14.160 try it. And here's some supplements that you can take. So, uh, 0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:16.240 this is very long winded and I'm gonna get the 0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:19.560 supplements to the full list. I've been like going down 0:21:19.680 --> 0:21:22.679 like I've just been. Yeah, so for the last so 0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:25.720 I am officially a month in a week off anxiety 0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:30.240 meds for the first time in eighteen years. Good. I 0:21:30.320 --> 0:21:33.760 have not had an anxiety attack yet. Having said that, 0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:39.320 you're flying, I'm flying to London by myself. It's magical, 0:21:40.200 --> 0:21:42.720 and I'm not in a first class seat because that 0:21:42.760 --> 0:21:47.200 ship's expensive, even premiere. I'm an economy. Well you're tiny, 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:49.200 so it's fine, fine, and that's and I'm not trying 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:52.800 to bougie, but like it's only my anxiety that gets 0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:55.640 because I'm I don't like to feel claustrophobic, and for 0:21:55.840 --> 0:22:00.919 nine hours on a plane on those planes is bigger 0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:09.320 than our normal American domestic airline honestly, And you're so teency. 0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:11.920 I mean I mean this, like, I just I feel 0:22:11.920 --> 0:22:13.240 bad for when I get on a plane and there's 0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:15.119 like a giant dude that comes and sits next to me. 0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:17.680 I'm like, buddy, what can I donate to you? You know, 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:21.840 like it's gonna be great. So that's gonna be I 0:22:21.880 --> 0:22:26.119 think overnight. Yes, So I'm gonna leave Nashville at six 0:22:26.240 --> 0:22:28.680 something and then I land in London at nine. This 0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:32.239 is perfect and but yeah, I mean, this is my 0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:37.119 first solo, this long of a trip by myself. I'm like, 0:22:37.160 --> 0:22:39.320 what if I have an anxiety attack? What do I do? Like? 0:22:39.359 --> 0:22:42.600 And I know all the tricks and stuff. I just 0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:46.359 don't wanna be bummed that, like, I have an anxiety attack. 0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:50.719 I've been so like crowd that's gotten this far without 0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:53.520 notice too much too now, I think, But if it 0:22:53.560 --> 0:22:57.240 pops up, it pops up. Yeah. But yes, flying alone, y'all, 0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:00.199 I'm going to London and it's going to be so 0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:03.920 good for you. I'm so excited. I just cannot wait 0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:07.960 to explore. And how long are you going to be 0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:12.480 in their place? Five nights? Yes, five sleeps, five sleeps 0:23:12.600 --> 0:23:17.959 And I'm so good. So I'm so hopeless romantic for London. 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:23.040 So I told I told Sepnam, who was an amazing 0:23:23.080 --> 0:23:25.919 exact over at Lifetime, that I wanted to do a 0:23:25.960 --> 0:23:30.760 remake of the holiday because that's my favorite, like my 0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:34.399 favorite movie, holiday movie. And so I told her that 0:23:34.440 --> 0:23:40.840 I was going to do some holiday hopefully remake homework. 0:23:41.640 --> 0:23:46.120 This is going to be so it's gonna gonna just 0:23:46.240 --> 0:23:49.280 write it all down and go explore and have fun. 0:23:49.480 --> 0:23:56.280 And it's going to be so beautiful there. I get wit. Yeah, okay, 0:23:56.840 --> 0:23:58.560 and I'll keep you guys all posted by the panic 0:23:58.560 --> 0:24:02.560 attack mid air. You won't no, no, no, no. I 0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:04.720 think I'm gonna put it out there that I'm I'm 0:24:04.800 --> 0:24:07.920 so excited that I'm going to take this adventure. It's 0:24:07.960 --> 0:24:10.120 not like you're going for work. It's not like you're 0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:13.240