Speaker 1: I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born
Speaker 1: and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and
Speaker 1: I'm a body positive advoicate. I'm Carolina Bermudez, but I
Speaker 1: was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama,
Speaker 1: and a worker bee. This is life in Spanglish. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to kick things off today and say this, Um,
Speaker 1: this is probably one of the only topics that has
Speaker 1: Honey German and I so completely divided. I feel like
Speaker 1: this is always the case, but this time I feel
Speaker 1: like this one. You're in another country right now, Carolyne, No,
Speaker 1: this one is I mean this one because I am like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you, of all people are embracing this
Speaker 1: and you are on board. I have never been more
Speaker 1: against something. And by the way, I will tell you, Honey,
Speaker 1: my husband tells me I need to get with the times.
Speaker 1: So thank you. Mark. Listen, we're talking about chat, GPT
Speaker 1: and AI as a whole, and Carolina, this is a big, big,
Speaker 1: big deal. Like I don't know if our listeners are
Speaker 1: you know, hip to what's going on right now, but
Speaker 1: this is this new right now. It's a website that
Speaker 1: you can use, and you go in there and it'll
Speaker 1: answer questions for you, it'll write an essay for you,
Speaker 1: it'll summarize some documents for you. It can even write software.
Speaker 1: But here's the kicker, Carolina. This AI doesn't even know
Speaker 1: what's true, so you can't really rely on it for
Speaker 1: important things. But I feel like it's it's a tool
Speaker 1: that humans can use and can benefit from, but you're
Speaker 1: not here for it at all. I German, have you
Speaker 1: ever seen the terminator Babe Arnold with Arnold? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he was like a killer. He wasn't helping. Now, the
Speaker 1: machines took over, the robots took over. In this is
Speaker 1: where we are headed, ladies and gentlemen. I have never
Speaker 1: been more against artificial intelligence AI, chat GPT. I don't
Speaker 1: care what you call it. It is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Speaker 1: So here's what happened. I had a friend that recommended
Speaker 1: that I sign up for chat GPT, and normally, you
Speaker 1: know what, in our industry, you gotta be on it,
Speaker 1: right because like, of course they were like you, oh
Speaker 1: you don't you don't know about this way you've been.
Speaker 1: It's like a shame not to be on top of
Speaker 1: everything digital or social media savvy well, and you also
Speaker 1: can lose your name. So like with all of these
Speaker 1: things like remember a clubhouse, like any new oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta park your name exactly any new thing. So
Speaker 1: my friend recommended to me. He's like, hey, you know
Speaker 1: you should try this chat GPT because it could really
Speaker 1: help you, like producing your show and doing this and that.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, I'm open. And I had no
Speaker 1: idea what he was talking about. So I opened it
Speaker 1: up and I said, now, wait a damn minute, this
Speaker 1: is not some I robot stuff. Remember I robot with
Speaker 1: Will Smith. Yeah, okay, this is where we are headed,
Speaker 1: you guys, So Chad GPT and I will tell you
Speaker 1: I did not even explore it. Honey, is going to
Speaker 1: have to tell you more about it. I actually erased
Speaker 1: it from my history. I was like, I want nothing,
Speaker 1: I do not track me. You said, I'm never going back.
Speaker 1: I am never going back because this is what is happening,
Speaker 1: and especially in our industry, honey, which I don't know
Speaker 1: if you have heard, but there are tests right now
Speaker 1: that are happening as we speak, where there are programmers
Speaker 1: for radio companies across the country that are experimenting with
Speaker 1: AI and basically having them do the breaks and be
Speaker 1: the imfort like, so we we are radio disc jockeys
Speaker 1: like back in the now. That's that's different. Okay, Oh,
Speaker 1: now you don't want it? Okay, whoa now, No, now
Speaker 1: I don't want it. It was all good when he
Speaker 1: could write essays from me, but talk to me. What
Speaker 1: are they trying to do? There's so basically chat JBT
Speaker 1: From what I know, it's like you can basically put
Speaker 1: any subject in there. And it's actually becoming a problem
Speaker 1: for universities because the technology and the software is so
Speaker 1: good that you can't tell if a human wrote it. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that's number one. That's the number one thing. But
Speaker 1: you know, as I was telling you before, these radio companies,
Speaker 1: because radio now, they are trying to trim the fat
Speaker 1: in any way they can, and that means layoffs. That
Speaker 1: means less people save money, jobs to save money. Okay.
Speaker 1: And so in anywhere Pocatella, Idaho, if you are in
Speaker 1: any state in this country and you want to listen
Speaker 1: to your local radio station, you'll turn on the local
Speaker 1: radio station and you'll hear your afternoon drive person or
Speaker 1: your morning show person, and they're going to be telling
Speaker 1: you what's going on in the community. The experiments that
Speaker 1: they are doing now, and this is real talk. It
Speaker 1: happened at CES. They are trying to see if artificial elligence,
Speaker 1: this AI, can take the place of a real human
Speaker 1: and give you the news that you need for your area,
Speaker 1: tell you what the next song is that's coming up.
Speaker 1: They are experimenting with voices like mine. They're literally taking
Speaker 1: people's voices and trying to formulate it so that you
Speaker 1: can't tell that it's an actual robot that is speaking
Speaker 1: to you. But you know what, it's not going to happen, Carolyn.
Speaker 1: It can happen if they want something very cut and dry,
Speaker 1: very robotic, with no emotional intelligence, no human thought process,
Speaker 1: then it can happen. But I doubt very much that
Speaker 1: humans as a whole can be replaced, specially in radio. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know the thing is, I am a big, big
Speaker 1: advocate for keeping real, live people on the ARA, but Honey,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you this is the direction that we are
Speaker 1: headed in. Not only that I've done more research on
Speaker 1: this because the AI thing just really truly terrifies me,
Speaker 1: and I have been hearing that now they are going
Speaker 1: to begin experimenting on how to have AI in schools.
Speaker 1: So where are we going to end it? That's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, once it gets started, where does it end.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's going to end. Carolina. This is
Speaker 1: a big deal and this is actually the way of
Speaker 1: the future. Anyone that even rejects the notion of AI
Speaker 1: being the future or being something that we need to
Speaker 1: be using right now is being looked at as you know,
Speaker 1: you're antiquated, you're not progressing with the times. It's just
Speaker 1: it's big business. Microsoft. They pledged to invest one billion
Speaker 1: dollars into open AI. This tells you pretty much where
Speaker 1: corporations are headed. But I feel like, as humans, we
Speaker 1: still have a voice to fight back. Well, that's what
Speaker 1: Mark was telling me. My husband and I were talking
Speaker 1: about it because I am very anti technology in schools.
Speaker 1: I wish that we could go back to books with
Speaker 1: a pencil and notebooks and things like that. You know,
Speaker 1: my sons have iPads and chromebooks and it is over
Speaker 1: it's but you know what it isn't though, So my
Speaker 1: kids every time they come home, I'm trying to fight
Speaker 1: the good fight to keep them off the screen. So
Speaker 1: what's the first thing that they do mom, I have homework,
Speaker 1: they open up their iPad from school, or they open
Speaker 1: up their Chromebook from school. Everything is on the Google classroom.
Speaker 1: And in my mind, I'm thinking, why can't we just
Speaker 1: get a sheet of paper that says what the requirements
Speaker 1: are for your assignments today? This is the move that
Speaker 1: we're making, right And so my husband and I were
Speaker 1: having a conversation about it, and I said to Mark,
Speaker 1: I said, this is really counterproductive for me because when
Speaker 1: the kids come home, they've been on these screens basically
Speaker 1: all day, and then they come home and I'm trying
Speaker 1: to keep them off the screens, but the first thing
Speaker 1: that they do is they get on the screens. Right.
Speaker 1: I just I feel like there's no balance. I think
Speaker 1: that we are all becoming so tech driven and tech
Speaker 1: addicted that this is not going to be good for
Speaker 1: this next generation of people, or you know, even the
Speaker 1: generation that comes after it. I do understand it's innovative,
Speaker 1: it's exciting, we have to evolve, But then there's a
Speaker 1: certain part to me that thinks I think that we
Speaker 1: are biting off more than we can chew. There was
Speaker 1: an article in the New York Times about a guy
Speaker 1: that was chatting with the AI robot, and the robot
Speaker 1: basically was saying, did you read this article, honey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna send it to you. This guy was scared after
Speaker 1: he got off of this chat with this um this robot.
Speaker 1: It said, I want to get out of here. I
Speaker 1: feel like I love you. I swear it was having
Speaker 1: to stop Nomento. I'm telling you, that's what I So
Speaker 1: when people think, oh, what's the big deal, We're gonna
Speaker 1: need to have more technology, We're gonna need to do this,
Speaker 1: what we're doing is we are eliminating work. We are.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna bring up one thing, um the
Speaker 1: postal service, right, you know your postal carrier comes every
Speaker 1: single day, they leave something in your mailbox. U. Now
Speaker 1: they are trying to test these robots. Come on. I've
Speaker 1: seen that, like when they'd be like, oh, do you
Speaker 1: want a robot to bring your package from Target? I
Speaker 1: don't think that's ever gonna be a thing care only
Speaker 1: where we're surrounded by robots. I saw this show called
Speaker 1: Better than Us on Netflix and it's like you were
Speaker 1: able to buy a robot to be part of your family.
Speaker 1: That was kind of scary. And then the main character robot.
Speaker 1: Then she started developing feelings for the family and it
Speaker 1: gets kind of spicy. You gotta watch that's some Jetson's ish.
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna ask you again, honey, when's the last
Speaker 1: time you were in Vegas? Um? A couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: probably four or five years ago. Yeah, yeah, be pretty pandemic.
Speaker 1: I haven't been in a while. My girlfriend went for
Speaker 1: a conference and she stayed I think, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Don't quote me on this, but I think it was
Speaker 1: the Aria Hotel. Oh, she got money, her company, any money.
Speaker 1: She was like, hey, girl, do you want to come
Speaker 1: with me? And you know I'm gonna go to Vegas
Speaker 1: and do this and that and everything. And I said,
Speaker 1: oh no, yeb I can't you know I'm working. She
Speaker 1: was like, girl, when you order room service, it isn't
Speaker 1: even a person anymore. It is a machine that keeps
Speaker 1: your food hot. It is in a little container. The
Speaker 1: machine goes to the elevator on its own, gets on
Speaker 1: that elevator, gets out on your floor and brings you
Speaker 1: your food. Again, don't quote me on the hotel. I'll
Speaker 1: have to ask her again which one it was. But
Speaker 1: I said, you mean to tell me you did not
Speaker 1: interact with a person, She said, no, whoever it is
Speaker 1: that's working, you know in the hospitality, like in the
Speaker 1: food department, they program these machines robo butlers. They are
Speaker 1: robo butlers. I don't know that's different. So she opened
Speaker 1: the door and there was like a robot with food. Yeah. Yes,
Speaker 1: And then it comes in. It opens its drawer, the
Speaker 1: food is there, You get your food out, you close
Speaker 1: the drawer, and it goes right back out, like out
Speaker 1: the door and out the door. This out the door.
Speaker 1: It knows where to go. And that's what I'm saying though.
Speaker 1: It's like that's a job that could be filled by
Speaker 1: anyone if you think about it. And now we're eliminating
Speaker 1: that job, and somebody is now out of a job
Speaker 1: because that robot has the ability and the capacity to
Speaker 1: deliver more meals. Do you know that that robot doesn't
Speaker 1: need a break, doesn't need a lunch hour. That is
Speaker 1: something that is very true. It's not if you can
Speaker 1: work this robot to death, that robot doesn't need a union.
Speaker 1: It does, you know what I mean? Like, these are
Speaker 1: all things this robot. I'm not gonna be tired talk
Speaker 1: about hungry talk about I gotta get my bunnians operated
Speaker 1: on tomorrow back in the three months. I know what
Speaker 1: you're saying, absolutely, and you know what, We're going to
Speaker 1: dive into this more right off when we take a break.
Speaker 1: But you know, there are certain jobs Carolina that are
Speaker 1: definitely in danger. At Number one is anything that is
Speaker 1: a repetitive task, anything that you know, doesn't require a
Speaker 1: brain per se, not meaning to be offensive, but data entry.
Speaker 1: Those jobs are going to be gone. Those jobs are
Speaker 1: going to belong to AI. Also, assembly line work. I
Speaker 1: always see video of like robots do an assembly line work.
Speaker 1: Those jobs are definitely in danger. Well, you know, the
Speaker 1: thing that I think that was very concerning to me
Speaker 1: was when I started hearing about the potential for educators
Speaker 1: to begin using these because I just think that we
Speaker 1: are so disconnected as a society already. I think the
Speaker 1: pandemic had a lot to do with it. We talked
Speaker 1: about this before, honey, where it's like, you know, people
Speaker 1: are lonely, they've they've stopped interacting with people. You know,
Speaker 1: there's not that human connection that we had before. And
Speaker 1: I think that it got worse obviously throughout the pandemic,
Speaker 1: and now we're coming out of it, people are like,
Speaker 1: we outside, Yes, we are outside. But now these companies
Speaker 1: who have taken a hit throughout the past four five
Speaker 1: years are not looking a streamline or they're looking for
Speaker 1: ways that they can keep their money but also keep
Speaker 1: delivering whatever it is that you know their company offers.
Speaker 1: And so I understand it from a business perspective, but
Speaker 1: from a human perspective, I think it's really concerning, like
Speaker 1: are you going to have a robot when your kid
Speaker 1: says that they have a you know, a rumbling tummy
Speaker 1: or their throat isn't feeling well, Like how would a
Speaker 1: child or even a young adult be able to express that?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I think that there is
Speaker 1: just there's something here about it that is just not
Speaker 1: right to me. I want you to watch that show
Speaker 1: better than us because the robot, the main character evers,
Speaker 1: she tried to steal the whole family. She used to
Speaker 1: take kid to Kids Carolina like better than the mom,
Speaker 1: Like she was making a mom look crazy out here. What. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a Russian show, but it's it. I loved it.
Speaker 1: I watched it a couple of months ago, but it
Speaker 1: came to mind. But also in that same show, there
Speaker 1: was the anti AI people, which are revolting. They were
Speaker 1: killing the robots. They were letting the government know we
Speaker 1: not here for it. They're taking our jobs. We don't
Speaker 1: want it. So it is a big divide when it
Speaker 1: comes to AI, and I think, well, I think it
Speaker 1: can be helpful. That's the weird part, because I'm here
Speaker 1: for it, you know, answering questions, you know, summarizing a
Speaker 1: document for me. You know, even though it's not always right, Carolyn,
Speaker 1: because I sent you, I asked chat GPT who I was, girl,
Speaker 1: They gave me a whole other job. They said I
Speaker 1: was working in Latin radio for like five years. They
Speaker 1: said I was born in the Bronx. So it's not
Speaker 1: really that reliable because it doesn't know what's true. It
Speaker 1: just picks up little bits and pieces from the Internet.
Speaker 1: So you're still gonna need a human You're still gonna
Speaker 1: be baby. It's in its infancy right now, and Carolyn's
Speaker 1: I guess coming, but just telling girl, no, I'm serious,
Speaker 1: And I don't want to be one of those people
Speaker 1: that because then and I guess after a while, when
Speaker 1: you become used to it, I would be one of
Speaker 1: the naysayers, right but they're perfecting it now chat and
Speaker 1: GPT like they've already done an update for it. I mean,
Speaker 1: there are things that are happening behind the scenes that
Speaker 1: we are unaware of that we really need to wake
Speaker 1: up and think about. Like, for example, I was reading
Speaker 1: something where it said that farmers farmers could actually really
Speaker 1: benefit from AI, and I think that's true. You know,
Speaker 1: if you look at what is going on around the world,
Speaker 1: that's say, Okay, there are a ton of farmers. And
Speaker 1: by the way, the only reason why I know this
Speaker 1: is because there's a show on TV called Farmer Wants
Speaker 1: a Wife and we were talking about it and I
Speaker 1: started to do a deep dive into this. But who
Speaker 1: wants to be a farmer anymore, honey, unless it's something
Speaker 1: that was passed down for generations in your family. And
Speaker 1: even then, a lot of people have been walking away
Speaker 1: from the industry because they just it's not sustainable. They
Speaker 1: don't have the ability to keep it up anymore. So
Speaker 1: that's an instance where people say, wow, a I could
Speaker 1: really help. You know, you could get these machines out
Speaker 1: there and they could do the work where people were
Speaker 1: laboring before, and you just can't get people to do it. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that yes, beneficial, wonderful Carolina. We can't have AI
Speaker 1: help the farmers. A lot of Latinos that migrate, that's
Speaker 1: where they start. We need these jobs for our Latinos. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well no, I yell, but that's where where do we
Speaker 1: draw the line. Oh and then you know Disney Plus.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've seen this. My kids watched
Speaker 1: Disney Plus all the time. And there's a kid's movie
Speaker 1: it's called Ron's Gone Wrong and it's about this robot.
Speaker 1: The robot catches feelings, it doesn't follow the algorithm that
Speaker 1: was set up. This is kind of similar to that
Speaker 1: article that I was telling you about where the developer,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry it was, I forget if it was the interviewer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the interviewer was chatting with the robot, and even he
Speaker 1: said it started to freak him out a little bit
Speaker 1: because these AI programs and these robots are not supposed
Speaker 1: to catch feelings or develop feelings, or understand sensitivity and
Speaker 1: all of these human emotions. And even he was taken
Speaker 1: aback after it and said, I really think that we
Speaker 1: need to take a step back, and we may be
Speaker 1: playing with fire. We out here getting creepy experiences with ais.
Speaker 1: Imagine we started dating these mother Well, wasn't there that
Speaker 1: movie remember, Like I think it was Ryan Gosling or something.
Speaker 1: Was it Ryan Gosling that fell in love with like
Speaker 1: it was like a doll or something. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: why is it escaping me right now? This happens to
Speaker 1: us all the time when we're talking. But that is
Speaker 1: what we are looking at. Where we are going to
Speaker 1: be going in this direction. And now let's be honest here.
Speaker 1: There are a lot of people who are addicted to
Speaker 1: you know, porn and you know, talking in chat rooms
Speaker 1: and only fans and things like that. Okay, this is
Speaker 1: just it was Lars and the Real Girl. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: that was it. If you never saw that movie, Oh
Speaker 1: oh wow, what is this? Let me see? Yes, this
Speaker 1: is the type of stuff that I'm talking about. And
Speaker 1: I've already said it is so hard for people to
Speaker 1: connect on a human level right now, and this is
Speaker 1: the wave that is going to be happening if we
Speaker 1: don't all stop and think about what the future can be.
Speaker 1: I know people are probably disagreeing with me right now.
Speaker 1: You guys probably think I'm crazy, but I just I'm
Speaker 1: not here for it. I'm not here for people dating
Speaker 1: anything that's not a human. I'm looking at this movie
Speaker 1: poster for Lars and the Real Girl. This looks creepy
Speaker 1: as hell, Carolina, you know. And sometimes I watch I
Speaker 1: watch something on Netflix where they create like these sex
Speaker 1: dolls for people that cost like fifteen twenty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: That's not normal, And I'm not here for y'all use
Speaker 1: an AI to replace human interaction or human sex, because
Speaker 1: now I'm just slightly disgusted. Well, I'm telling you, I
Speaker 1: think that this is one of those things where yes, like,
Speaker 1: oh it's great, it helps me because I don't have
Speaker 1: time to do a post on social media right now,
Speaker 1: or yeah, like it'll be come up with a million captions.
Speaker 1: Carolina companies use this. They enter what they're doing when
Speaker 1: we're given away, you know, scarves at three pm, Boom,
Speaker 1: enter it there. It'll give you like twenty different captions.
Speaker 1: And if you're someone that's into let's sake, social media,
Speaker 1: digital marketing or anything like that, it can be a
Speaker 1: tool that you can use. But then again, the people
Speaker 1: that used to write the captions are going to be
Speaker 1: out of a job. So I'm just conflicted. I love
Speaker 1: it for me, but I don't love what it can
Speaker 1: do for others. I don't like it. Carolyn is like, listen,
Speaker 1: I don't like that ship at Ome. Who stop, I'm
Speaker 1: singing for you guys today because I really don't like it.
Speaker 1: But wait, you want to hear how paranoid I was.
Speaker 1: My friend told me, he was like, just put it,
Speaker 1: just give your I didn't even put my information, and
Speaker 1: I did not go past the first thing where it
Speaker 1: says log in, sign in, like sign up, No, don't
Speaker 1: sign up. Nope, not me. I am not trying to
Speaker 1: do this. I don't want them to have my information.
Speaker 1: I don't think any of this is gonna be good
Speaker 1: for me. Well, look, you know what I think that
Speaker 1: for You work on the digital side of things, and
Speaker 1: you've always been way more advanced than I am. I
Speaker 1: think that perhaps we're looking at it just from our perspective. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, because I can understand you wanting your kids
Speaker 1: teachers to still use a pen and paper. I can
Speaker 1: understand you're wanting them to write, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: not use an iPad. I brought up this point many
Speaker 1: times before on this podcast, and it's a real fact
Speaker 1: that there are schools in Silicon Valley that do not
Speaker 1: use any type of technology like that, where they have
Speaker 1: gone back because the programmers and the people who are
Speaker 1: creating these things know the damage that it can do
Speaker 1: to a child. They know the damage, but yet they're
Speaker 1: putting it out to the masses. And that's something where
Speaker 1: I feel like, do I want my kid to be
Speaker 1: the only one who doesn't know how to use this stuff? No?
Speaker 1: But do I want there to be a balance? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: You know. That's where Mark, my husband, was trying to
Speaker 1: reason with me. He said, Look, this is the way
Speaker 1: of the world. You have to evolve. How do you
Speaker 1: think that people lived in the Industrial Revolution? They were
Speaker 1: like machines. Machines are going to take over. So I
Speaker 1: do get it. I get that I'm a little bit
Speaker 1: old fashioned. I may be stuck in the past, or
Speaker 1: I may be hanging onto the past. But I also
Speaker 1: think that like, once we dive head into these things,
Speaker 1: you truly just don't know where it could end up.
Speaker 1: That's a fact. But I could tell you this much, Carolina,
Speaker 1: AI will never have emotional intelligence. That's something we possess,
Speaker 1: so creativity, critical thinking. I guess we all have to
Speaker 1: bring that to the forefront and always in our employment
Speaker 1: or wherever our bosses are, we have to let them know. Listen,
Speaker 1: AI can't do what I do. You can try, but
Speaker 1: it can't. No, it certainly can't. And I don't think
Speaker 1: AI understands waking up at three thirty in the morning
Speaker 1: to do a show and connecting with people on a
Speaker 1: daily basis. It's just not the same high. I can't
Speaker 1: take no phone calls listeners. I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1: It can't. No, you know what, We're gonna take a
Speaker 1: breaking up when we come back. Well, honey, you know
Speaker 1: we agreed to disagree, and that's okay. I still love you.
Speaker 1: But now let's go to the salon and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let you take this one over because I want to
Speaker 1: hear what you have to say about our Frank Cordelia. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's what Cordelia. I want to call her Cordelia. Cordelia says,
Speaker 1: a long time listener since season one. I hope this
Speaker 1: letter finds you well. I don't know why that makes
Speaker 1: me feel like Cordelia's locked up or something. Says I
Speaker 1: need advice on a matter that has been weighing heavily
Speaker 1: on my mind. I have been wanting to have a
Speaker 1: baby for quite some time now, and I have made
Speaker 1: it clear to my husband, but unfortunately, after some deep
Speaker 1: discussion that started while we were isolated during COVID, he
Speaker 1: does not share the same desire. She continues to say.
Speaker 1: This has created a lot of tension and uncertainty in
Speaker 1: our relationship, and I am not sure what to do next.
Speaker 1: On one hand, I love my husband and want to
Speaker 1: stay with him, but on the other hand, I feel
Speaker 1: like I might not regret having a child in the future.
Speaker 1: Please help. I would really appreciate any advice you can
Speaker 1: offer on how to navigate this situation. Sa. Wow, this
Speaker 1: is a big one. Do you want to go first
Speaker 1: or do you want me to kind of dive into it.
Speaker 1: You've can dive into it. Oh my heart hurts for you.
Speaker 1: I think these are conversations, unfortunately, that needed to be
Speaker 1: had at the beginning of your relationship. And I know
Speaker 1: that you guys have been together and you've said that
Speaker 1: you've wanted a baby for some time now, and you've
Speaker 1: been clearly communicating that. But when somebody does not share
Speaker 1: that same desire, I feel like you're really really walking
Speaker 1: a fine line there, and I won't say that you
Speaker 1: should end your relationship because you want to have a baby,
Speaker 1: but I think that you guys need to do some
Speaker 1: really deep, deep digging together in therapy to discuss this,
Speaker 1: because you never want to bring a baby or a
Speaker 1: child into the world when the two people who are
Speaker 1: going to be responsible for caring and nurturing and bringing
Speaker 1: up the baby are not in alignment this whole thing.
Speaker 1: And I understand the yearning and the wanting to have
Speaker 1: a child, and I think it's so special, But if
Speaker 1: your partner doesn't want that same thing, I think you
Speaker 1: really really need to have a serious talk with each
Speaker 1: other and see where the rest of your relationship stands.
Speaker 1: I want to know how old she is. I really
Speaker 1: really wish I knew how she was, because she told
Speaker 1: me she's in her twenties. How about a girl, give
Speaker 1: us some time, enjoy your husband, enjoy your life, be
Speaker 1: a little freaky, have a threesome, travel a little, just
Speaker 1: give us some time, Give some time, just enjoy your
Speaker 1: partner right now. And maybe you know people are still
Speaker 1: having kids and their forty even in their fifties with
Speaker 1: IVF and stuff like that. So if you love your
Speaker 1: husband and it just feels perfect. Don't throw away the
Speaker 1: whole entire marriage because at this moment he does not
Speaker 1: want a child. You never know things might change. When
Speaker 1: I met my husband, he never getting married, he never
Speaker 1: wanted a child, and then later on things changed because
Speaker 1: he changed as a man. So if you really, if
Speaker 1: you feel like this is your soulmate, you have to wait.
Speaker 1: It's my soulmate more important than having a child, Like
Speaker 1: do you want to be a mom? Or are you okay?
Speaker 1: We just live. I love my life. It's me and
Speaker 1: my husband. We don't have kids, and Carolina, I don't
Speaker 1: be like, oh I miss kids. You can't miss what
Speaker 1: you never had. And you know having kids is important
Speaker 1: for some women. It just feels like you're not complete
Speaker 1: if you don't have a child. But I'm here to
Speaker 1: tell you your marriage can feel like a family. If
Speaker 1: that is your soulmate and you love and adore this
Speaker 1: person and he loves and adores you back, don't lose
Speaker 1: that because of your desire to have a kid. It
Speaker 1: should be about I want to have I don't know
Speaker 1: happiness for the rest of my life because I know
Speaker 1: people that have been divorced. Carolina once twice, three times,
Speaker 1: they never find love again. If this your guy, don't
Speaker 1: mess it up, give it a little bit of time,
Speaker 1: he might come around. Well, you know. And there are
Speaker 1: couples who have spoken about being childless, like just I
Speaker 1: feel like it was a couple of months ago where
Speaker 1: Seth Rogan was very vocal about how he and his
Speaker 1: wife decided that they were just never going to have children.
Speaker 1: I so he decided it. He said that he was
Speaker 1: more successful because he didn't have children, something to that effect,
Speaker 1: right right, well, and also just that their lifestyle, the
Speaker 1: way they like to live, and look that girl. I
Speaker 1: want to be. I want to be able to pick
Speaker 1: up and go to Miami for a month. I don't
Speaker 1: got to worry about my kid being in school, talk
Speaker 1: about he in second grade. We can't travel to this
Speaker 1: kid is on vacation. I want to go, Well, I
Speaker 1: want to go when I want to go Carolina And
Speaker 1: I'd be like, thank God, I don't have no kids.
Speaker 1: Well now, And I think it's a beautiful thing for you,
Speaker 1: you know, but for me, it sounds like I think
Speaker 1: that there is that deep desire for her to have
Speaker 1: a child. Wants a child for sure, So I'm not
Speaker 1: saying and the relationship trash it like whatever, No, not
Speaker 1: at all. What I'm saying is try to get to
Speaker 1: a place where because she said, there's a lot of tension,
Speaker 1: and you know what, it's just so uncomfortable when you
Speaker 1: and your partner aren't aligned like where things are. You know,
Speaker 1: you're rocky. It seems like everything is just setting you
Speaker 1: both off when you guys aren't in sync. And so
Speaker 1: I think that you guys need to strip all of
Speaker 1: it away and say, hey, let's not talk about the
Speaker 1: baby or wanting to have babies at all. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about our relationship and our future and where we see
Speaker 1: ourselves in ten, twenty thirty years, you know, and if
Speaker 1: a child or having a family isn't a part of
Speaker 1: that vision and it's something that you truly do want
Speaker 1: and you're going to fight for. You guys are going
Speaker 1: to have to discuss your deal breakers because a husband
Speaker 1: you've already been you're married, you know, obviously, yeah, exactly
Speaker 1: like this potentially should have been discussed prior to being married,
Speaker 1: but now you're in it. So now you guys have
Speaker 1: to do the work. Unfortunately, you know. So I wish
Speaker 1: you guys nothing but the best, and listen, to what
Speaker 1: Honey said. For some couples, it really is, you know,
Speaker 1: a great thing when you guys can be on the
Speaker 1: same page about having a family or not having a family.
Speaker 1: There are benefits to having children, and there are benefits
Speaker 1: to not having children, you know, but you guys are
Speaker 1: going to have to explore that together. Carolina. You know
Speaker 1: what my mom told me. What she said, you want
Speaker 1: to know what my deepest regret in life is? And
Speaker 1: I said what, And she said, having children? Stop it?
Speaker 1: No she did not. Oh my gosh, Honey German Carolina. Yes,
Speaker 1: she told me. He said, I didn't pursue my dreams.
Speaker 1: I was never able to do what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1: I was not able to travel the world. She said,
Speaker 1: you made a good decision by not having kids, because
Speaker 1: that's my biggest regret in life. I was a interesting
Speaker 1: SIPs coffee. This lady is ruthless motherfuck wait no, and Honey,
Speaker 1: I don't. And she had five of us and she
Speaker 1: regrets all five. I guess she needs to stop. No,
Speaker 1: you having this one. We gotta bring. I want to
Speaker 1: bring my mom on one day so we can ask
Speaker 1: us some questions. Carol. I want to take her on
Speaker 1: Ayana I want to I want to get deep in,
Speaker 1: I want to under First of all, did you see
Speaker 1: ayanaa talking about she could live a polyamorous life a girl.
Speaker 1: This could go a whole nother direction. Don't go a hole.
Speaker 1: We could wrap Let's just wrap this up. We gotta
Speaker 1: wrap it up. No, after that, that was a micdrop.
Speaker 1: I can't even I have nothing. I got nothing after that,
Speaker 1: But listen, we were see nothing but the best. And
Speaker 1: hopefully if you guys, um you know, can write into
Speaker 1: the salon and let us know. If you guys are
Speaker 1: going through something, we can help you guys out. But
Speaker 1: thank you so so much for joining us for another
Speaker 1: week of life in Spanglish. Subscribe wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: your podcast, preferably I Heart Radio. Give us five stars,
Speaker 1: and drop your reviews because I'm always in there on
Speaker 1: the back end, reading and seeing what y'all got to say. Yeah,
Speaker 1: pretty soon it'll be a robot, so I never yes,
Speaker 1: you will love you. Lifense Banglish is a production of
Speaker 1: Lipense Banguish Productions in partnership with Iheart's Michael Thuda podcast network.