Speaker 1: It's time to get out, because I'm not saying you're
Speaker 1: gonna mess up. I'm saying this relationship is not working
Speaker 1: until things get fixed, and they're not gonna be fixed together.
Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Welcome to the podcast, Episode one hundred
Speaker 1: and ninety four, and thank you for being here. What
Speaker 1: I do here is I answer your questions, and I
Speaker 1: don't really like to waste any time doing anything else
Speaker 1: but that, because I hope that's what you came here for.
Speaker 1: You could find me on every other kind of platform
Speaker 1: talking about other things, but here we just talk about
Speaker 1: you and what you got going on in long form,
Speaker 1: you know, like we're having a conversation. We're having a
Speaker 1: little stroll down a country road. Me and you were
Speaker 1: walking to town right and you say, hey, man, got
Speaker 1: to run something by you. I got something going on.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, what is it? Yeah, this issue going on,
Speaker 1: We talk about it. I'm not always right, but I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna walk through it like me and you are friends.
Speaker 1: And the advice that I would hope you would give
Speaker 1: me back. What I want to do with this podcast
Speaker 1: really ultimately is I want you to know that I'm
Speaker 1: not the end stop for the answer to your questions.
Speaker 1: In fact, you could also be someone that answers these
Speaker 1: kind of questions too. I just maybe I want to
Speaker 1: model thinking through and starting with certain presuppositions like love
Speaker 1: and creation. I want to start with things like that
Speaker 1: and go, let's think through this. Maybe I could bring
Speaker 1: up something you haven't thought of before, and then you
Speaker 1: could be this for someone else down the road. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna this podcast isn't gonna last for the next
Speaker 1: hundred years, so maybe someone else, by me modeling it
Speaker 1: this way, someone else could do something like this. Maybe
Speaker 1: you start your own podcast. Maybe you do the same
Speaker 1: thing starting your own podcast. I would love to see that.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm here for. If you have a question
Speaker 1: for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll
Speaker 1: get right to it. I don't have notes, I don't
Speaker 1: prepare for these. I don't even read ahead. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go off the cusp here and you're gonna hear
Speaker 1: it at the same time. I do. Okay, first question,
Speaker 1: subdecline says moving out, Hey Granger, and hello earl. My
Speaker 1: name is Joshua. I'm twenty one from North Carolina. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to say I appreciate listening to your every
Speaker 1: podcast since I started working at my current job. I
Speaker 1: just want to say thank you for the life lessons
Speaker 1: and bringing glory to God. I want to ask you
Speaker 1: should I move out from my mom. I lost my
Speaker 1: father when I was fifteen, so I had to become
Speaker 1: the man of the house really fast. So I've just
Speaker 1: always been helping my mom out financially as much as
Speaker 1: I can, and I think it's harder to do that
Speaker 1: from a different household. I'm not bumming it living here,
Speaker 1: but at the same time, I feel guilty for thinking
Speaker 1: of moving because of how much we help each other
Speaker 1: right now. Sorry for the email if it was a
Speaker 1: little lengthy. Much love and God bless Okay, Joshua twenty one,
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Great, great, great question, man, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: you ask it because this is a great thing to
Speaker 1: be thinking about for other people as well, because you're
Speaker 1: in a unique situation, lost your dad young and you
Speaker 1: feel an obligation to provide for your mother, and I
Speaker 1: think that's a good that's really good, man. I think
Speaker 1: that's a good heart position to have. You want to
Speaker 1: take care of mom. She took care of you for
Speaker 1: all these years. The least you could do is take
Speaker 1: care of her. I think it's awesome, But what I
Speaker 1: want you to know is this, This is what I
Speaker 1: would tell you if we're buddies walking down this county road.
Speaker 1: The fact that you do that is wonderful, but it
Speaker 1: is not your obligation to replace your dad. And there's
Speaker 1: a fine line there between take care of mom and
Speaker 1: you are her provider like Dad was. You're not that.
Speaker 1: And this is where it gets complicated because in a way,
Speaker 1: you don't want her to be stuck in life and
Speaker 1: not be able to move forward after Dad, which is
Speaker 1: it's been six years according to your email. You don't
Speaker 1: want her to be stuck and thinking that, well, Josh
Speaker 1: is gonna be here. I don't need anything in my
Speaker 1: life because I got Josh, and thank God for Josh.
Speaker 1: Josh is here. Josh is gonna provide for my baby.
Speaker 1: Boy will provide for me. I'm a little bit hinting
Speaker 1: at the movie water Boy. You guys remember the movie
Speaker 1: water Boy. It can become that a little bit, right
Speaker 1: that foods ball is the devil Bobby, you know. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm exaggerating, and I don't want to be disrespectful to mama.
Speaker 1: But you can become that for her if you continue
Speaker 1: to be her sole provider. So what you want to do.
Speaker 1: The way to love your mom is to help her along, right,
Speaker 1: and not say, hey mom, stay here and you don't
Speaker 1: do anything. I'll take care of financially. I'll take care
Speaker 1: of us. Don't you worry. Like I said at the beginning,
Speaker 1: I think your heart position is right, and it's great
Speaker 1: that you think that way. But to really love her
Speaker 1: would also be helping her along, like, hey, Mom, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna move down the road a little bit.
Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna help you to grow into yourself as
Speaker 1: the independent woman that you are. Maybe sometimes you see
Speaker 1: the scenarios where the mom got married early. Maybe she
Speaker 1: was a teenager or in the young twenties, and she
Speaker 1: never really knew what it was like to live alone.
Speaker 1: So this is the first time. It's very scary. And
Speaker 1: so the sun could say, Mom, look I'm not leaving town.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go down the road and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: continue working. And Josh, you need to be thinking of
Speaker 1: your future and your future wife and your future family
Speaker 1: that Lord will and you'll have. And in order to
Speaker 1: do this, you got to start experimenting with your independence
Speaker 1: and then let mom have her independence. And you say, Mom,
Speaker 1: I'm a phone call away. I'm a four minute drive
Speaker 1: in my truck to your driveway. You need anything, I'm there.
Speaker 1: You need a dollar, I'm there. You need a meal,
Speaker 1: I'm there. You need to talk, you need to cry,
Speaker 1: you have a nightmare, you're afraid that someone knocked over
Speaker 1: your garbage cans. I will be there in four minutes.
Speaker 1: But as I love you, mam, I want to help
Speaker 1: you become independent. And if I'm here kind of sheltering
Speaker 1: you and providing for you, then I'm afraid I might
Speaker 1: be inhibiting that from happening. So you got that aspect
Speaker 1: going on. And then Josh, and then you got your
Speaker 1: your own life, and you're you're too humble to admit this,
Speaker 1: and so I'll say it for you. But buddy, you
Speaker 1: got to be thinking about yourself as well, because what
Speaker 1: a death in the family like this does. It could
Speaker 1: it could bring us all together, or it can divide us.
Speaker 1: And right now it's dividing in a way that it's
Speaker 1: separating you from a life that you could be having
Speaker 1: right now with a wife and possibly children and even
Speaker 1: a career, like what happens if you get a job
Speaker 1: and they want to they want to promote you to
Speaker 1: a job with longer hours, and you think that starts
Speaker 1: conflicting with taking care of mama. Then we got the
Speaker 1: water boy scenario. I just want I'm not telling you
Speaker 1: what to do. I'm not telling you have to do
Speaker 1: anything I'm saying, But I am just wanting. I'm wanting
Speaker 1: you to think critically about all odds. And if you're
Speaker 1: saying the goal is to love mama, if that's the goal,
Speaker 1: which I think it should be a great goal, one
Speaker 1: of many goals. But if that's the goal, then I
Speaker 1: want you to consider that leaving the house might be
Speaker 1: part of it. Meeting that goal, leaving mama might help
Speaker 1: her to spread her wings. Right. Thank you for the email, brother,
Speaker 1: Let's go to another one here. Sub decline says made
Speaker 1: a mistake in the relationship and wanted to do things right. Hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: I want to remain anonymous. And then it says I
Speaker 1: met Chase when I was nineteen, and we connected instantly.
Speaker 1: At that time, we were nothing more than friends. He
Speaker 1: joined the military and married quickly after that. Twelve years
Speaker 1: later we reconnected after he was going through a divorce.
Speaker 1: At the time, I was completely quote in love and
Speaker 1: we made choices. Looking back now, I see how damaging
Speaker 1: they were. We spent two years together where I moved
Speaker 1: in and became stepmom to his kids. He was my
Speaker 1: best friend and exactly the type of man I was
Speaker 1: looking for in my future husband. However, I felt that
Speaker 1: our relationship wasn't honor God, seeing as it was still
Speaker 1: he was still not yet divorced and I was living
Speaker 1: with him before marriage. I wanted to go on a
Speaker 1: break so that he could take care of his divorce,
Speaker 1: and I figured we'd come back to each other healthier.
Speaker 1: He jumped into relationships. I grieved. It's been two years.
Speaker 1: I haven't been on a single date since. Do you
Speaker 1: have any advice? PS. Listening to your podcast has helped
Speaker 1: me because it encourages me that I made the right decision.
Speaker 1: I want a marriage that is honoring to God. Okay, Anonymous,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do a quicker recap just for my
Speaker 1: own brain because I'm hearing this for the first time.
Speaker 1: You met this guy when you were nineteen, and you'll connected.
Speaker 1: He joined the military and he married. Fast forward twelve
Speaker 1: years you guys reconnected it as he was going through
Speaker 1: a divorce at the time. You were completely in love,
Speaker 1: and you guys made choices back then that you see,
Speaker 1: we're damaging now, Okay, I understand, I'm tracking. You spent
Speaker 1: two years together, you moved in and became stepmom to
Speaker 1: the kids. But I'm paraphrasing. He wasn't completely divorced yet,
Speaker 1: it wasn't finalized, and you guys were living together, So
Speaker 1: then you want you You realize this might be bad,
Speaker 1: so you kind of pull back, and then he surprises
Speaker 1: you and just jumps into other relationships. Okay, kind of
Speaker 1: revealing his true colors. Got it? Anonymous, thank you for
Speaker 1: the email and being vulnerable. And I think the purpose
Speaker 1: of me here in this question is just simply to
Speaker 1: encourage you. I think that's what I'm here to do.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to answer a specific question because you
Speaker 1: didn't ask a specific question. But besides, do I have
Speaker 1: any advice? And my advice is you've done well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've made mistakes in this relationship, haven't we all, haven't
Speaker 1: we all? But the difference between making a mistake and
Speaker 1: relationship and sitting in it and living with it and
Speaker 1: not fixing it. There's a big difference between that and
Speaker 1: making a mistake in a relationship and realizing, oh, I've
Speaker 1: done wrong. I need to cut this off. I need
Speaker 1: to separate myself from this, I need to turn from it.
Speaker 1: That's where that word repentance comes from. I need to
Speaker 1: turn away from my mistake and turn towards Christians would
Speaker 1: say towards God. Repent and turn back to God. And
Speaker 1: so that's what you've done exactly. You made a mistake.
Speaker 1: Once again, this is not a judgment call, because who
Speaker 1: raise your hand if you haven't made a relationship mistake. Ever,
Speaker 1: no one's raising their hand. Okay, you made a mistake.
Speaker 1: You moved in, you did this thing. But guess what,
Speaker 1: it's okay because you recognize your conscious was eating you up,
Speaker 1: and you turned away and you changed course. You're you're
Speaker 1: sailing down this path and you're like, this is going
Speaker 1: this is headed in a bad direction. I better, I
Speaker 1: better pull down the sails and change the boat to
Speaker 1: a different course. And so that's what you did. And
Speaker 1: guess what happened. You changed the boat. You started heading
Speaker 1: down a new path, a new course, and you look
Speaker 1: back at the old path and you saw oh man,
Speaker 1: there's a waterfall. I was headed straight down. The boat
Speaker 1: was about to crash. But I felt I felt the
Speaker 1: need to change course. I felt like this wasn't honoring God.
Speaker 1: I felt convicted. I changed course. Now. Now look at you.
Speaker 1: You're sailing on open waters, and you know now that
Speaker 1: you're better for that because you got your eye open.
Speaker 1: Now you're looking out ahead. You're looking for waterfalls. Right.
Speaker 1: Every once in a while, you climb up on your mast.
Speaker 1: Is that the right word. You climb up on the
Speaker 1: mast of your sailboat and you get up on that
Speaker 1: little lookout and you got your eyes open, and someone says,
Speaker 1: what are you doing up there? And you go, I
Speaker 1: have seen open waters lead to waterfalls, So I always
Speaker 1: want to make sure my course is on the right track.
Speaker 1: That's good, that's good stuff. And you don't know that
Speaker 1: as much if you've never made a mistake. So these
Speaker 1: mistakes are put in our life like this, these obstacles,
Speaker 1: so that we learn from them. And that's our choice.
Speaker 1: We learn from them or we go off the edge
Speaker 1: of the waterfall. So my answer to you on advice
Speaker 1: is I just want to encourage you to keep your
Speaker 1: eyes open, stand the lookout, You've got a clear slate.
Speaker 1: You're on open waters. You made a great decision. Look
Speaker 1: what happened to this guy? Now you know? Next question?
Speaker 1: Going blind on these The subjectline says not sure what
Speaker 1: to do? Hey, Granger, could really use some advice. A
Speaker 1: few months ago, my ex broke up with me. We
Speaker 1: were together almost for a year because of my mental health.
Speaker 1: It got the best of me and I said some
Speaker 1: things I still regret to this day. We broke it
Speaker 1: off because my ex wanted me to focus on myself
Speaker 1: to get better, and I went through no contact with
Speaker 1: them for about two weeks. My ex messaged me one
Speaker 1: night while I was doing homework and I got really
Speaker 1: excited at the same time sad because it could have
Speaker 1: been the last time we spoke. Ever. Since then, we
Speaker 1: have been talking NonStop and we are right back where
Speaker 1: we were in a few months, I've been I'll be
Speaker 1: traveling to go see them for their birthday and spend
Speaker 1: about a week with them. As time gets closer, I
Speaker 1: feel really excited and sad because it will not be
Speaker 1: the same. What do I do to make these negative
Speaker 1: thoughts go away? Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Jess Okay, Jess, I'm gonna track with you here real quick,
Speaker 1: making sure I understand your email. You were together, you
Speaker 1: broke up because mental health got the best of you,
Speaker 1: you said some things that you regret. You guys, broke
Speaker 1: it off, your ex sit focus on yourself to get better.
Speaker 1: Then he messaged you one night. That always happens, you know,
Speaker 1: these kind of messages always come at night, right, They
Speaker 1: never come in the morning. They come at night. That's
Speaker 1: when loneliness strikes. And then you got you got kind
Speaker 1: of excited and kind of sad at the same time.
Speaker 1: And then you started talking NonStop and it was like
Speaker 1: you were right back at the beginning. And then you
Speaker 1: went to travel to see them. I don't know why
Speaker 1: you said them, Like, why are we talking about them
Speaker 1: all of a sudden. Maybe maybe the family, maybe he
Speaker 1: has kids, I don't know. Let me just make I'll
Speaker 1: make this quick. You want to know how to make
Speaker 1: these negative thoughts go away. I think you're relying too
Speaker 1: much on these relationships. When he broke up with you,
Speaker 1: saying your mental health got the best of you and
Speaker 1: you said something that you regret. So you guys broke
Speaker 1: it off so you could focus on yourself to get better.
Speaker 1: I don't think that happened. I don't think you're well.
Speaker 1: I don't think anything got better. I think he just
Speaker 1: got lonely and messaged you. He got lonely. He messaged you.
Speaker 1: You're an ex. You were the next one on his
Speaker 1: phone list. I promise you, I don't mean that to
Speaker 1: be offensive to you. But he pulled out his phone.
Speaker 1: He was like, I'm lonely. Who could I call? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call Jess because she's probably lonely too. And
Speaker 1: so he messaged you and he said, are you lonely?
Speaker 1: I'm lonely and you said, yes, I'm lonely. Are you lonely?
Speaker 1: And he said yes, let's get together. That's the summary
Speaker 1: of what happened. And then of course things got right
Speaker 1: back to where they were. You start chit chat and
Speaker 1: you figured out all that. Yeah, I remember, I remember.
Speaker 1: Things were so good. We're so quick to forget about
Speaker 1: the bad and the negative things and so quick to
Speaker 1: just jump into the good stuff. So now you're worried again.
Speaker 1: You're worried about those negative thoughts coming back. Maybe maybe
Speaker 1: you're gonna say something you regret again. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you this, Jess, you will nothing changed except loneliness
Speaker 1: got in the way a little bit, so you're gonna
Speaker 1: have to. Like I said, I want to make this
Speaker 1: question quick, but it's time to get out because I'm
Speaker 1: not saying you're gonna mess up. I'm saying this relationship
Speaker 1: is not working until things get fixed, and they're not
Speaker 1: gonna be fixed together. Okay, this is just lust. This
Speaker 1: is just loneliness kicking in. That's all this is. I
Speaker 1: promise you you're not gonna find anything at the end
Speaker 1: of this path except for like the last question, a waterfall.
Speaker 1: Take your sale down, set a new course, get onto
Speaker 1: some open waters, get your head up, be looking out
Speaker 1: the waterfalls, and do some healing here. There's gonna be
Speaker 1: some healing. It needs to happen. We'll take a break
Speaker 1: to your back. This podcast is brought to you all
Speaker 1: by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp
Speaker 1: dot com, slash Granger, and get on your way to
Speaker 1: being your best self. Now. I've said so many times
Speaker 1: on this podcast that I'm not a therapist. I'm not
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist. I just tried to speak you the truth
Speaker 1: that I know. But if you need further help than that,
Speaker 1: Please go get some professional help. And if you are
Speaker 1: someone that's never done therapy before, and maybe you're just
Speaker 1: you're not the kind of person who wants to go
Speaker 1: lay down on a green couch, well I'll tell you
Speaker 1: there's other alternatives out there. It's so easy to get
Speaker 1: caught up in what everyone else needs from you and
Speaker 1: not take a moment just to think about what you
Speaker 1: need for yourself. I think that's been pretty evident just
Speaker 1: in the questions we've gotten today already. People tend to
Speaker 1: feel stretched and thin and burned out, and therapy can
Speaker 1: give you the tools to find more balance in your
Speaker 1: life so you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind.
Speaker 1: So this is where better Help comes in. If you're
Speaker 1: thinking of trying therapy or starting therapy, hey give better
Speaker 1: Help a try. It's entirely online, you don't have to
Speaker 1: go anywhere. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited
Speaker 1: to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to
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Speaker 1: more balance with better Help visit betterhelp dot com. Slash
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Speaker 1: That's better help. H e lp dot com slash Granger
Speaker 1: And just a reminder that on August first, Like a River,
Speaker 1: my book comes out. I'm so excited to get this
Speaker 1: book into your hands. I think this will be such
Speaker 1: an important thing for so many questions that come in.
Speaker 1: I could say, have you read the book? Check out
Speaker 1: the book, and then we could discuss further. But if
Speaker 1: you're going through things similar to what I did, and
Speaker 1: that's anything to do with loss, whether that's a job
Speaker 1: or a dream, or a car or a pet, or
Speaker 1: like me, someone you loved, well, then you could read
Speaker 1: this book Like a River and we could discuss further.
Speaker 1: I think it's very important that you hear exactly what
Speaker 1: happened and hear how I was healed. The book is
Speaker 1: called Like a River. You could actually pre order the
Speaker 1: book right now at grangersmith dot com. Back to the podcast.
Speaker 1: All right, Back to the podcast and starting off with
Speaker 1: an interesting question. It just kind of scanned it before
Speaker 1: I hit record here. Subjicline says our God, and the
Speaker 1: email itself says, Hey Granger, I have a question about God.
Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm not sure I've ever heard you explain
Speaker 1: this in a podcast? How do we know our God
Speaker 1: is the real thing? I grew up in a Southern
Speaker 1: Baptist and nation. I have accepted Jesus, but as I
Speaker 1: get older, I always ask myself, how do we know
Speaker 1: our God is the real deal. I don't know for sure,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure every religion will tell you their god parentheses.
Speaker 1: Gods are the only right real thing. Only one group
Speaker 1: is correct. But how do we know it's ours? I've
Speaker 1: always heard to walk by faith and not by sight,
Speaker 1: and I have my whole life, but sometimes I just
Speaker 1: question this subject, and nobody's ever been able to explain.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your music and your podcast. Yigi question
Speaker 1: comes from Brayden and it's a good question, and Braidan,
Speaker 1: I want to first of all, I want to validate
Speaker 1: the search because I think the search is biblical, and
Speaker 1: I think I think it's very important for all religions,
Speaker 1: all spiritual people to cultivate a desire for the search
Speaker 1: for truth. I think it's important definitely for me, definitely
Speaker 1: from my personality. I think it's important to not fall
Speaker 1: under the facade of does God walk by faith? Just
Speaker 1: gotta believe? Hey, what do you think about God, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Just gotta believe, just gotta have faith, just
Speaker 1: gotta have faith. That's dangerous to do that because if
Speaker 1: you're not testing your faith, right like Paul says, we
Speaker 1: need to test our faith, If you're not testing it
Speaker 1: up against truth, then how do you know it's real?
Speaker 1: And so you could tell people all day long, I
Speaker 1: just believe. Just got to have faith, just got to believe.
Speaker 1: Well that's interesting, Okay. Now there's many ways that faith
Speaker 1: is tested, and one way is by persecution or trial,
Speaker 1: are suffering. You're gonna know quickly through suffering or trials
Speaker 1: or persecretion, persecution, you're gonna know, oh man, I am
Speaker 1: mad at God, or I don't believe in God anymore
Speaker 1: because God would never allow this bad thing to happen.
Speaker 1: Or you're gonna run and you're gonna get closer. It's
Speaker 1: gonna the suffering, the trials are gonna draw you closer,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna God, I trust you, I run to you,
Speaker 1: I need you even more now than ever. So then
Speaker 1: you go, Okay, my faith is passed the test, or
Speaker 1: my faith is so flimsy it just completely shattered. So
Speaker 1: I first I want to acknowledge the the wrestling. I
Speaker 1: think we should wrestle. I don't think we should. I
Speaker 1: don't think we should play around with doubt. But I
Speaker 1: think there's a difference between like doubting and testing our
Speaker 1: faith up against truth. Because because why why do I
Speaker 1: say that? I say that because we can be self
Speaker 1: deceived and anyone that doesn't recognize they can be self
Speaker 1: deceived is self deceived. That just came right back around
Speaker 1: at me, didn't it. Yeah, So if you don't think
Speaker 1: you can be self deceived, I promise you you are
Speaker 1: being self deceived right now. So we need, we need
Speaker 1: to be affirmed by first of all, people other people
Speaker 1: around us that are in our faith, that that that
Speaker 1: can that can say you, here's here's what you're thinking,
Speaker 1: and here's what I or I have struggled with this,
Speaker 1: and and we all come together and we help give
Speaker 1: each other assurance. Right, you need assurance and deeper than that,
Speaker 1: I would encourage you to explore all the religions. Some
Speaker 1: people might not agree with that. Some people might say, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know about that, Braden. I think you should.
Speaker 1: I think you say here's what your question says. All
Speaker 1: religions will tell you that their God is the only
Speaker 1: real deal, and you're correct. You're also correct in saying
Speaker 1: that only one can be correct, right, There's only one
Speaker 1: that can be right. So all the religions claim that
Speaker 1: their God is the God, and they can't all be right.
Speaker 1: Only one can. So I would tell you go on
Speaker 1: a journey, Go on a journey searching through these different religions. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's it is a deep well, and I enjoy it.
Speaker 1: That's my personality. I'm a history buff. I love dig
Speaker 1: I love World War two, I love the Civil War
Speaker 1: and Vietnam and Great Depression. And I love history. I
Speaker 1: love digging in and I love biblical history. So I
Speaker 1: would encourage you to go down the Islam route and
Speaker 1: research Mohammad, who he was, the time period, how he
Speaker 1: got his revelation, how the Qoran was eventually written. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a good route to take. Study set of the Jews.
Speaker 1: Study the Jews and why they think that the Messiah
Speaker 1: still has not come yet, what they're looking for and
Speaker 1: what they believe they didn't see in Jesus. Go down
Speaker 1: the route of the Jehovah's witnesses, go out, go down
Speaker 1: the route of Charles Day's Russell, go down the route
Speaker 1: of Joseph Smith with the Church of Jesus Christ of
Speaker 1: Latter day Saints. This is the overview of the Abrahamic religions.
Speaker 1: And then I would go into Buddhism and go to Buddha,
Speaker 1: and then I would go into the Hindu religion and
Speaker 1: research the ancient Hindus and where they came from. Go
Speaker 1: down this path and start looking, start taking notes and looking,
Speaker 1: and you're like Granger, WHOA, This is not what I meant?
Speaker 1: Is it not? Is this not what you meant? Because
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're searching. It sounds like you want
Speaker 1: some assurance. And I promise you, I'm just one beggar
Speaker 1: telling another beggar where I found bread. But you're gonna
Speaker 1: find some crazy things down this rabbit hole, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to answer one question, two questions. This is
Speaker 1: what I think. Two questions. This is what I what
Speaker 1: I go back to. Though there's many and I've studied
Speaker 1: extensively on this, but there's two questions you have to answer. One,
Speaker 1: where did we come from? I'm not talking about your mama.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about where did humans come from? You're gonna
Speaker 1: have to go back to creation. It was either it
Speaker 1: was either creation created by a super intelligence, right okay,
Speaker 1: so created by a superintelligence, or created out of an accident,
Speaker 1: and it would have to have the accident has to
Speaker 1: have come from nothing. Now, atheist, I argue atheists, I
Speaker 1: don't argue. I debate atheists that challenged me on this
Speaker 1: saying that it doesn't have to come from nothing. But atheists,
Speaker 1: in their viewpoint, always will stand on the fact that
Speaker 1: they are atheists because they do not know. So that's
Speaker 1: that's whether they could always fall onto My truth is
Speaker 1: I don't know that no one could know the truth.
Speaker 1: Let me take a breath. I love this stuff, but
Speaker 1: you got to start with where do we come from?
Speaker 1: So it's either a super intelligence sparked life, could have
Speaker 1: been the Big Bang, could have been whatever you want
Speaker 1: to call it. But it sparked life, it breathed life
Speaker 1: into into life, whatever this central point of that was,
Speaker 1: or something spontaneously happened out of nothing. Because why do
Speaker 1: I say nothing, Because something can't come from nothing. It's
Speaker 1: impossible that something that matter comes from non matter, or
Speaker 1: if it did come from something, that means something had
Speaker 1: to have been eternal forever. So this is the creation issue.
Speaker 1: That's a deep well, go down that rabbit hole, and
Speaker 1: then fast forward several thousand years and you've got to
Speaker 1: go to the empty tomb. This is the issue where
Speaker 1: all the Abrahamic traditions intersect. You've got to deal with
Speaker 1: the empty tomb. Because most credible scholars in the world,
Speaker 1: regardless of religion, will agree on this. Jesus was a
Speaker 1: real person who lived in a real time, who had
Speaker 1: real followers, who had a real message. Okay, Jesus, the
Speaker 1: same real person with real followers, with real disciples, was
Speaker 1: crucified and killed by the Romans. Jesus, after he was killed,
Speaker 1: was put into a tomb three days later. This is
Speaker 1: what everyone agrees on. Three days later, the tomb was
Speaker 1: empty and the stone was rolled away. They also agree
Speaker 1: that he claimed to be the son of God. So
Speaker 1: here we go. Here's this named Jesus. He was a
Speaker 1: very loved prophet who his followers believed and followed, and
Speaker 1: he was crucified for heresy by the religious elite in Jerusalem,
Speaker 1: partnering with the Romans, and he claimed to be the
Speaker 1: son of God. They killed him on a cross, crucified
Speaker 1: him three days later. The tomb where he was placed
Speaker 1: is now empty. This is what all credible scholars agree.
Speaker 1: So at that point I give it to you and
Speaker 1: I say, what are we going to do with the
Speaker 1: empty tomb? What are we gonna do with this? You
Speaker 1: could say, well, maybe the disciples stole the body. I say,
Speaker 1: he had two guards and they were sleeping Roman guards. Well,
Speaker 1: maybe they defeated the guards and then the guards fell
Speaker 1: asleep and they stole the body. What they do with
Speaker 1: the body, because Jerusalem would have been completely upturning everything
Speaker 1: to find this body, whether it was the the Jewish
Speaker 1: Anhedron or the Roman elite. They would have been turning
Speaker 1: the town over to find the body where to go?
Speaker 1: Then I say, why would they have stolen it? Here's
Speaker 1: the crazy thing after that, why would they have stolen
Speaker 1: a dead body from a grave three days later that
Speaker 1: started to decompose, stolen it, hidden the body the dead body,
Speaker 1: or burned it or destroyed it. And then their faith grows,
Speaker 1: and suddenly they start preaching the message that he's alive again.
Speaker 1: And then they're killed for saying that, and all of
Speaker 1: their families murdered, and yet somehow they have peace about this,
Speaker 1: enjoy about this, They have hope in this, and they say,
Speaker 1: our Savior has risen, he is alive, and he has
Speaker 1: shown his deity as the god Man by resurrecting like
Speaker 1: no human has ever done. And now this is I'm
Speaker 1: just saying what they said, right, I'm not forcing my
Speaker 1: opinions on anyone. I'm just saying. Then he goes around
Speaker 1: and he spreads this message to over five hundred eye witnesses.
Speaker 1: All of them say, we saw him, we believe him.
Speaker 1: Jesus is alive. He came right he the stone has
Speaker 1: been rolled away, he came out of the tomb and
Speaker 1: he's alive. And the Romans say, oh cool, we're gonna
Speaker 1: kill you unless you say that's a lie, and they say,
Speaker 1: kill me. Why would they do that? They're either crazy
Speaker 1: and I don't think all these crazy people could coordinate
Speaker 1: their message, align their message perfectly. Or they are lying
Speaker 1: and nobody lies if they're gonna be killed for it, right,
Speaker 1: especially their family, Like we're gonna kill your whole family. Nope,
Speaker 1: it's the truth. Well that's stupid. And number three, they
Speaker 1: were telling the truth. I don't know if Braden, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you expected this long of an answer,
Speaker 1: but I give all this information to you. Have fun, buddy,
Speaker 1: have fun. Oh man, Sometimes I get going a little
Speaker 1: bit too long. I think here's a question I have here.
Speaker 1: Subject line says lost lost Hey Grangdew absolutely love your
Speaker 1: music and your podcast. I'm nineteen years old from Buffalo,
Speaker 1: New York. I got a lot on my mind from
Speaker 1: this past year I'm trying to figure out, so I'll
Speaker 1: try to keep this email short. There's a girl and
Speaker 1: I met her a few years ago, but at the
Speaker 1: time I was too unsure of myself to introduce myself.
Speaker 1: Sometime after that, she began dating one of my friends
Speaker 1: who broke who They broke up last year. About the
Speaker 1: time of the breakup, we began working at the same place,
Speaker 1: so we began to talk and hang out with other friends.
Speaker 1: By this time, I'd become more confident in myself, so
Speaker 1: a few months later I thought it might be best
Speaker 1: to ask her before I got a chance. I learned
Speaker 1: she just started dating one of my other friends. She
Speaker 1: and I are still friends, and since then she's found
Speaker 1: someone else. That's where our relationship will stay. A bit
Speaker 1: later in the summer, I spent a weekend with a
Speaker 1: group of friends and their friends and the weekend felt
Speaker 1: like I was connecting the dots to one of the
Speaker 1: girls I met there. Everything about her is attractive to me,
Speaker 1: and we had plenty of time talking. At the time,
Speaker 1: I was compelled to ask her out. But that weekend
Speaker 1: I learned she was younger than me by three years
Speaker 1: and that exceeds my gap for dating. Oh yeah, sorry
Speaker 1: to laugh. And because of this and my uncertainty if
Speaker 1: my feelings were real or drink induced, I have refrained
Speaker 1: from asking her out. In regard to both of these situations,
Speaker 1: I often asked myself, have I made the right choices?
Speaker 1: Is God trying to show me something, etc. I'm unsure
Speaker 1: what specific question I'm trying to ask you, but my
Speaker 1: same question is what are your thoughts? Okay? Question comes
Speaker 1: from anonymous and Buddy, you are all over the map.
Speaker 1: This reads like you wrote it in like poetry form,
Speaker 1: or like every sentence is on its own line. And
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what to tell you besides the fact
Speaker 1: that you're nineteen and I just want you to pump
Speaker 1: the brakes a little bit. Man, you're a little bit
Speaker 1: girl crazy. Just pump the brakes. Your confidence will grow
Speaker 1: as you just get a little bit older. That's it.
Speaker 1: You're feeling insecure, you're feeling like you don't you're not
Speaker 1: what was the word you used, you're not as I
Speaker 1: don't know what you use. I don't know besides drink induced.
Speaker 1: But I I'm kind of lost at this question. Besides,
Speaker 1: I think you're just a little girl crazy, and I
Speaker 1: think it would be wrong of me to encourage you
Speaker 1: down a path of asking more girls out and trying
Speaker 1: to figure this this. I would just say, buddy, pump
Speaker 1: the breaks, hang out with your friends, suppress those feelings
Speaker 1: of got to ask her now, got to ask her now,
Speaker 1: and just go with the flow. Be natural about it.
Speaker 1: If you're with a girl and you think she's cute,
Speaker 1: just tell her she's cute. If not, don't. But it's
Speaker 1: not rocket science, and you're trying to make this into
Speaker 1: like some math problem, So pump the brakes. I think
Speaker 1: you're nineteen and you just need you need a few
Speaker 1: more years. A few years need to go by, and
Speaker 1: it's going to fix a lot of these problems. By
Speaker 1: the way, you're not going to honor God. This is
Speaker 1: what you said at the end. Is God trying to
Speaker 1: show me something? Well, he might be trying to show
Speaker 1: you something by saying, Hey, this drink induced dating thing
Speaker 1: is this is just not going to be very good.
Speaker 1: I know that for a fact. Next question Subjectliente says
Speaker 1: making time for priorities. Hey, Grangeer, my name is Wes.
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen. Here we go another nineteen year old nineteen.
Speaker 1: I'm from Coopersville, Michigan. I like your music. I love
Speaker 1: your God centered podcast. I was wondering if you have
Speaker 1: any advice regarding finding my priorities. I've been having trouble
Speaker 1: remembering everything i have to do, and I've been letting
Speaker 1: people down by forgetting things. I've been getting more sleep lately,
Speaker 1: which seems to help, but I feel like I'm always
Speaker 1: too busy to get everything done, which is why I
Speaker 1: was losing sleep. I'm wondering how you make time for
Speaker 1: your priorities, like spending time with your family, which I
Speaker 1: assume is really important to you in the middle of
Speaker 1: everything else that you do. Thank you so much, God
Speaker 1: bless Wes. Appreciate the email. Brother nineteen, shout out to Michigan,
Speaker 1: and your question is going to be about making time
Speaker 1: for priorities. I am a little bit, a little bit
Speaker 1: concerned to be going with you that you're nineteen, and
Speaker 1: you are you have so much going on that you're
Speaker 1: forgetting things and letting people down. Maybe the advice to
Speaker 1: you at this point is, Buddy, it might be time
Speaker 1: to start learning the art of saying no. This is
Speaker 1: an art, and this is something I still struggle with
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to get better and I try to
Speaker 1: remind myself daily. But it's okay to say no. You
Speaker 1: could say no politely. Hey man, do you mind helping me?
Speaker 1: You got to pick up truck? Do you mind on
Speaker 1: Thursday night? It really helped me if you can come
Speaker 1: over Thursday and help me move a couch and a dresser.
Speaker 1: And you're thinking, Man, I get off work at five.
Speaker 1: I've got stuff that I've got to mow the grass.
Speaker 1: I got to catch up with stuff I promised this person.
Speaker 1: And so it would be okay to say, buddy, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry, but I can't my Thursday stacked. I can't
Speaker 1: make it. It's it's an art to say that because
Speaker 1: sometimes we feel like, well, a friend would help another
Speaker 1: friend move a couch, and that's just in a scenario.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build a scenario because I don't know
Speaker 1: what it is that's clogging up your days. But what
Speaker 1: happens is you go to work, your boss holds you
Speaker 1: a little bit, you don't get off at five, You
Speaker 1: gotta get off at five thirty. You rush home, your
Speaker 1: truck is running on empty. You got to go do
Speaker 1: the you know, mow the grass. You find out now
Speaker 1: your lawnmar's not starting, so you try to fix that,
Speaker 1: and then you're doing a bad job mowing the grass.
Speaker 1: You're stressed out, and then you get in your truck
Speaker 1: to run your friend's house to help move the couch.
Speaker 1: You realize you're still on empty, so you got to
Speaker 1: stop at the gas station, so you go in there
Speaker 1: and then you're spending money trying to fill up your tank,
Speaker 1: and then you're texting your buddy. You're running, you're rushing,
Speaker 1: and you're just a little bit anxious, and you're like, hey, man,
Speaker 1: I know I told you I'll be there at seven,
Speaker 1: but it's probably looking more like seven forty seven forty five.
Speaker 1: Just had a lot, and he's like, man, yeah, no worries,
Speaker 1: but yeah, if you can make it as soon as
Speaker 1: you can, you get there. And then he's there and
Speaker 1: he's a little frustrated, it's raining, and you're trying to
Speaker 1: get the couch down the stairs of the three third
Speaker 1: story of apartment complex, you're putting in the back of
Speaker 1: your truck. You're trying to I mean, and then you're
Speaker 1: getting to bed and you're wondering why you can't sleep.
Speaker 1: You're like, man, I can't sleep because you got a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff, a lot of stuff rattling around in
Speaker 1: your head, and all this could really I could give
Speaker 1: you a million ways to go on advice, but a
Speaker 1: lot of your question I think I think it would
Speaker 1: be appropriate for me to just say, buddy, Wes, you've
Speaker 1: got to learn the art of saying no and being
Speaker 1: okay with that and not thinking that you're less of
Speaker 1: a friend, or less of a brother, or less of
Speaker 1: a son or less of a boyfriend. If you say,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, but I've got a lot going on
Speaker 1: right now. Could I take a rain check on this.
Speaker 1: I can't move the couch on Thursday, you know what.
Speaker 1: I can move it on Sunday, but I can't move
Speaker 1: it on Thursday. And if you could learn to do
Speaker 1: that more than you say yes. And this is not
Speaker 1: about this is not about not serving people or not
Speaker 1: pouring yourselves out to others. It's not about that. This
Speaker 1: is about you being your best and keeping a good schedule.
Speaker 1: So why so you don't let people down? Because if
Speaker 1: you say yes to too many people, you're gonna let
Speaker 1: all of those people down instead of people like at
Speaker 1: the very beginning, say not, can't make it Thursday good?
Speaker 1: Then I'll get somebody else. But if you say yes
Speaker 1: and then you run late, you see what I mean
Speaker 1: on all of this is a hypothetical situation I built.
Speaker 1: But I'm just trying to help you this because you
Speaker 1: asked me what do I do? What do I do?
Speaker 1: I have to say no a lot, probably nine times
Speaker 1: out of ten in my life I have to say no.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do that. I'm so sorry, but
Speaker 1: I have to say no so that the things I
Speaker 1: say yes to I could be my best. And like
Speaker 1: I said, I still struggle with this. I'm still not
Speaker 1: great get this, but it is a daily habit that
Speaker 1: I put forth in my mind. Okay, right, I gotta
Speaker 1: say no. I hope that helps, brother, and I hope
Speaker 1: you can imply that, and I hope you could do
Speaker 1: a little bit better than I did when I was
Speaker 1: nineteen because I struggled as well with that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: We're just filling my plate, and that's important for all
Speaker 1: of us. It's not good to have a it's not
Speaker 1: good to have the virtue of being busy. I don't
Speaker 1: like that. I've said that before on this podcast, but
Speaker 1: I don't like the virtue of being busy. And that
Speaker 1: is what's what we do in this culture. Like how
Speaker 1: you been, man, good busy? You busy? Not me too,
Speaker 1: man busy, And somehow we attributed that to like that's
Speaker 1: like a good thing, that's like a positive thing in
Speaker 1: your life. You could say it like this. You could say, hey, man,
Speaker 1: you guys staying busy like you're expecting a Yes, you're
Speaker 1: staying busy, right, Please tell me you're staying busy, man,
Speaker 1: because what if you answered no, not very busy now
Speaker 1: would sound like you're failing you stay busy man, No,
Speaker 1: not very busy at all. That sounds like no, I'm
Speaker 1: just not doing good in my life. And that's just false.
Speaker 1: And I wish this culture would get out of that.
Speaker 1: I wish we could break the habit of acting like
Speaker 1: busyness as a virtue. There's nothing wrong with working hard
Speaker 1: and filling the day with some hard work and going
Speaker 1: to bed tired and exhausted in a way because you
Speaker 1: laid it all out there. But there's a difference between
Speaker 1: that good, hard, diligent, deep hard work and now I'm
Speaker 1: just busy all day distracted. It's not good. Hope that helps, brother.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all y'all and we'll see you next morning.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
Speaker 1: to this channel. Hit that little like button and the
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yi