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Speaker 1: It's time to get out, because I'm not saying you're

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Speaker 1: gonna mess up. I'm saying this relationship is not working

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Speaker 1: until things get fixed, and they're not gonna be fixed together.

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Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Welcome to the podcast, Episode one hundred

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Speaker 1: and ninety four, and thank you for being here. What

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Speaker 1: I do here is I answer your questions, and I

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Speaker 1: don't really like to waste any time doing anything else

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Speaker 1: but that, because I hope that's what you came here for.

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Speaker 1: You could find me on every other kind of platform

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Speaker 1: talking about other things, but here we just talk about

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Speaker 1: you and what you got going on in long form,

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Speaker 1: you know, like we're having a conversation. We're having a

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Speaker 1: little stroll down a country road. Me and you were

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Speaker 1: walking to town right and you say, hey, man, got

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Speaker 1: to run something by you. I got something going on.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, what is it? Yeah, this issue going on,

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Speaker 1: We talk about it. I'm not always right, but I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna walk through it like me and you are friends.

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Speaker 1: And the advice that I would hope you would give

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Speaker 1: me back. What I want to do with this podcast

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Speaker 1: really ultimately is I want you to know that I'm

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Speaker 1: not the end stop for the answer to your questions.

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Speaker 1: In fact, you could also be someone that answers these

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Speaker 1: kind of questions too. I just maybe I want to

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Speaker 1: model thinking through and starting with certain presuppositions like love

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Speaker 1: and creation. I want to start with things like that

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Speaker 1: and go, let's think through this. Maybe I could bring

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Speaker 1: up something you haven't thought of before, and then you

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Speaker 1: could be this for someone else down the road. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna this podcast isn't gonna last for the next

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Speaker 1: hundred years, so maybe someone else, by me modeling it

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Speaker 1: this way, someone else could do something like this. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you start your own podcast. Maybe you do the same

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Speaker 1: thing starting your own podcast. I would love to see that.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm here for. If you have a question

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Speaker 1: for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll

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Speaker 1: get right to it. I don't have notes, I don't

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Speaker 1: prepare for these. I don't even read ahead. I'm just

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Speaker 1: gonna go off the cusp here and you're gonna hear

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Speaker 1: it at the same time. I do. Okay, first question,

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Speaker 1: subdecline says moving out, Hey Granger, and hello earl. My

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Speaker 1: name is Joshua. I'm twenty one from North Carolina. I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to say I appreciate listening to your every

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Speaker 1: podcast since I started working at my current job. I

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Speaker 1: just want to say thank you for the life lessons

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Speaker 1: and bringing glory to God. I want to ask you

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Speaker 1: should I move out from my mom. I lost my

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Speaker 1: father when I was fifteen, so I had to become

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Speaker 1: the man of the house really fast. So I've just

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Speaker 1: always been helping my mom out financially as much as

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Speaker 1: I can, and I think it's harder to do that

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Speaker 1: from a different household. I'm not bumming it living here,

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Speaker 1: but at the same time, I feel guilty for thinking

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Speaker 1: of moving because of how much we help each other

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Speaker 1: right now. Sorry for the email if it was a

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Speaker 1: little lengthy. Much love and God bless Okay, Joshua twenty one,

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Speaker 1: North Carolina. Great, great, great question, man, and I'm glad

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Speaker 1: you ask it because this is a great thing to

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Speaker 1: be thinking about for other people as well, because you're

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Speaker 1: in a unique situation, lost your dad young and you

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Speaker 1: feel an obligation to provide for your mother, and I

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Speaker 1: think that's a good that's really good, man. I think

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Speaker 1: that's a good heart position to have. You want to

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Speaker 1: take care of mom. She took care of you for

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Speaker 1: all these years. The least you could do is take

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Speaker 1: care of her. I think it's awesome, But what I

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Speaker 1: want you to know is this, This is what I

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Speaker 1: would tell you if we're buddies walking down this county road.

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Speaker 1: The fact that you do that is wonderful, but it

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Speaker 1: is not your obligation to replace your dad. And there's

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Speaker 1: a fine line there between take care of mom and

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Speaker 1: you are her provider like Dad was. You're not that.

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Speaker 1: And this is where it gets complicated because in a way,

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Speaker 1: you don't want her to be stuck in life and

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Speaker 1: not be able to move forward after Dad, which is

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Speaker 1: it's been six years according to your email. You don't

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Speaker 1: want her to be stuck and thinking that, well, Josh

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Speaker 1: is gonna be here. I don't need anything in my

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Speaker 1: life because I got Josh, and thank God for Josh.

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Speaker 1: Josh is here. Josh is gonna provide for my baby.

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Speaker 1: Boy will provide for me. I'm a little bit hinting

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Speaker 1: at the movie water Boy. You guys remember the movie

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Speaker 1: water Boy. It can become that a little bit, right

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Speaker 1: that foods ball is the devil Bobby, you know. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm exaggerating, and I don't want to be disrespectful to mama.

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Speaker 1: But you can become that for her if you continue

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Speaker 1: to be her sole provider. So what you want to do.

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Speaker 1: The way to love your mom is to help her along, right,

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Speaker 1: and not say, hey mom, stay here and you don't

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Speaker 1: do anything. I'll take care of financially. I'll take care

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Speaker 1: of us. Don't you worry. Like I said at the beginning,

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Speaker 1: I think your heart position is right, and it's great

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Speaker 1: that you think that way. But to really love her

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Speaker 1: would also be helping her along, like, hey, Mom, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna move down the road a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna help you to grow into yourself as

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Speaker 1: the independent woman that you are. Maybe sometimes you see

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Speaker 1: the scenarios where the mom got married early. Maybe she

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Speaker 1: was a teenager or in the young twenties, and she

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Speaker 1: never really knew what it was like to live alone.

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Speaker 1: So this is the first time. It's very scary. And

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Speaker 1: so the sun could say, Mom, look I'm not leaving town.

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go down the road and I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: continue working. And Josh, you need to be thinking of

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Speaker 1: your future and your future wife and your future family

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Speaker 1: that Lord will and you'll have. And in order to

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Speaker 1: do this, you got to start experimenting with your independence

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Speaker 1: and then let mom have her independence. And you say, Mom,

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Speaker 1: I'm a phone call away. I'm a four minute drive

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Speaker 1: in my truck to your driveway. You need anything, I'm there.

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Speaker 1: You need a dollar, I'm there. You need a meal,

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Speaker 1: I'm there. You need to talk, you need to cry,

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Speaker 1: you have a nightmare, you're afraid that someone knocked over

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Speaker 1: your garbage cans. I will be there in four minutes.

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Speaker 1: But as I love you, mam, I want to help

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Speaker 1: you become independent. And if I'm here kind of sheltering

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Speaker 1: you and providing for you, then I'm afraid I might

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Speaker 1: be inhibiting that from happening. So you got that aspect

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Speaker 1: going on. And then Josh, and then you got your

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Speaker 1: your own life, and you're you're too humble to admit this,

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Speaker 1: and so I'll say it for you. But buddy, you

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Speaker 1: got to be thinking about yourself as well, because what

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Speaker 1: a death in the family like this does. It could

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Speaker 1: it could bring us all together, or it can divide us.

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Speaker 1: And right now it's dividing in a way that it's

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Speaker 1: separating you from a life that you could be having

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Speaker 1: right now with a wife and possibly children and even

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Speaker 1: a career, like what happens if you get a job

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Speaker 1: and they want to they want to promote you to

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Speaker 1: a job with longer hours, and you think that starts

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Speaker 1: conflicting with taking care of mama. Then we got the

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Speaker 1: water boy scenario. I just want I'm not telling you

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Speaker 1: what to do. I'm not telling you have to do

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Speaker 1: anything I'm saying, But I am just wanting. I'm wanting

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Speaker 1: you to think critically about all odds. And if you're

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Speaker 1: saying the goal is to love mama, if that's the goal,

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Speaker 1: which I think it should be a great goal, one

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Speaker 1: of many goals. But if that's the goal, then I

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Speaker 1: want you to consider that leaving the house might be

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Speaker 1: part of it. Meeting that goal, leaving mama might help

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Speaker 1: her to spread her wings. Right. Thank you for the email, brother,

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Speaker 1: Let's go to another one here. Sub decline says made

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Speaker 1: a mistake in the relationship and wanted to do things right. Hey, Granger,

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Speaker 1: I want to remain anonymous. And then it says I

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Speaker 1: met Chase when I was nineteen, and we connected instantly.

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Speaker 1: At that time, we were nothing more than friends. He

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Speaker 1: joined the military and married quickly after that. Twelve years

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Speaker 1: later we reconnected after he was going through a divorce.

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Speaker 1: At the time, I was completely quote in love and

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Speaker 1: we made choices. Looking back now, I see how damaging

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Speaker 1: they were. We spent two years together where I moved

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Speaker 1: in and became stepmom to his kids. He was my

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Speaker 1: best friend and exactly the type of man I was

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Speaker 1: looking for in my future husband. However, I felt that

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Speaker 1: our relationship wasn't honor God, seeing as it was still

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Speaker 1: he was still not yet divorced and I was living

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Speaker 1: with him before marriage. I wanted to go on a

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Speaker 1: break so that he could take care of his divorce,

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Speaker 1: and I figured we'd come back to each other healthier.

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Speaker 1: He jumped into relationships. I grieved. It's been two years.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been on a single date since. Do you

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Speaker 1: have any advice? PS. Listening to your podcast has helped

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Speaker 1: me because it encourages me that I made the right decision.

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Speaker 1: I want a marriage that is honoring to God. Okay, Anonymous,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do a quicker recap just for my

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Speaker 1: own brain because I'm hearing this for the first time.

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Speaker 1: You met this guy when you were nineteen, and you'll connected.

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Speaker 1: He joined the military and he married. Fast forward twelve

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Speaker 1: years you guys reconnected it as he was going through

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Speaker 1: a divorce at the time. You were completely in love,

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Speaker 1: and you guys made choices back then that you see,

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Speaker 1: we're damaging now, Okay, I understand, I'm tracking. You spent

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Speaker 1: two years together, you moved in and became stepmom to

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Speaker 1: the kids. But I'm paraphrasing. He wasn't completely divorced yet,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't finalized, and you guys were living together, So

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Speaker 1: then you want you You realize this might be bad,

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Speaker 1: so you kind of pull back, and then he surprises

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Speaker 1: you and just jumps into other relationships. Okay, kind of

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Speaker 1: revealing his true colors. Got it? Anonymous, thank you for

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Speaker 1: the email and being vulnerable. And I think the purpose

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Speaker 1: of me here in this question is just simply to

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Speaker 1: encourage you. I think that's what I'm here to do.

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Speaker 1: I'm not here to answer a specific question because you

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Speaker 1: didn't ask a specific question. But besides, do I have

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Speaker 1: any advice? And my advice is you've done well. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you've made mistakes in this relationship, haven't we all, haven't

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Speaker 1: we all? But the difference between making a mistake and

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Speaker 1: relationship and sitting in it and living with it and

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Speaker 1: not fixing it. There's a big difference between that and

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Speaker 1: making a mistake in a relationship and realizing, oh, I've

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Speaker 1: done wrong. I need to cut this off. I need

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Speaker 1: to separate myself from this, I need to turn from it.

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Speaker 1: That's where that word repentance comes from. I need to

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Speaker 1: turn away from my mistake and turn towards Christians would

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Speaker 1: say towards God. Repent and turn back to God. And

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Speaker 1: so that's what you've done exactly. You made a mistake.

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Speaker 1: Once again, this is not a judgment call, because who

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Speaker 1: raise your hand if you haven't made a relationship mistake. Ever,

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Speaker 1: no one's raising their hand. Okay, you made a mistake.

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Speaker 1: You moved in, you did this thing. But guess what,

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Speaker 1: it's okay because you recognize your conscious was eating you up,

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Speaker 1: and you turned away and you changed course. You're you're

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Speaker 1: sailing down this path and you're like, this is going

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Speaker 1: this is headed in a bad direction. I better, I

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Speaker 1: better pull down the sails and change the boat to

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Speaker 1: a different course. And so that's what you did. And

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Speaker 1: guess what happened. You changed the boat. You started heading

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Speaker 1: down a new path, a new course, and you look

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Speaker 1: back at the old path and you saw oh man,

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Speaker 1: there's a waterfall. I was headed straight down. The boat

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Speaker 1: was about to crash. But I felt I felt the

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Speaker 1: need to change course. I felt like this wasn't honoring God.

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Speaker 1: I felt convicted. I changed course. Now. Now look at you.

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Speaker 1: You're sailing on open waters, and you know now that

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Speaker 1: you're better for that because you got your eye open.

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Speaker 1: Now you're looking out ahead. You're looking for waterfalls. Right.

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Speaker 1: Every once in a while, you climb up on your mast.

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Speaker 1: Is that the right word. You climb up on the

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Speaker 1: mast of your sailboat and you get up on that

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Speaker 1: little lookout and you got your eyes open, and someone says,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing up there? And you go, I

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Speaker 1: have seen open waters lead to waterfalls, So I always

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Speaker 1: want to make sure my course is on the right track.

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Speaker 1: That's good, that's good stuff. And you don't know that

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Speaker 1: as much if you've never made a mistake. So these

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Speaker 1: mistakes are put in our life like this, these obstacles,

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Speaker 1: so that we learn from them. And that's our choice.

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Speaker 1: We learn from them or we go off the edge

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Speaker 1: of the waterfall. So my answer to you on advice

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Speaker 1: is I just want to encourage you to keep your

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Speaker 1: eyes open, stand the lookout, You've got a clear slate.

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Speaker 1: You're on open waters. You made a great decision. Look

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Speaker 1: what happened to this guy? Now you know? Next question?

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Speaker 1: Going blind on these The subjectline says not sure what

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Speaker 1: to do? Hey, Granger, could really use some advice. A

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Speaker 1: few months ago, my ex broke up with me. We

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Speaker 1: were together almost for a year because of my mental health.

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Speaker 1: It got the best of me and I said some

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Speaker 1: things I still regret to this day. We broke it

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Speaker 1: off because my ex wanted me to focus on myself

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Speaker 1: to get better, and I went through no contact with

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Speaker 1: them for about two weeks. My ex messaged me one

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Speaker 1: night while I was doing homework and I got really

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Speaker 1: excited at the same time sad because it could have

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Speaker 1: been the last time we spoke. Ever. Since then, we

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Speaker 1: have been talking NonStop and we are right back where

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Speaker 1: we were in a few months, I've been I'll be

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Speaker 1: traveling to go see them for their birthday and spend

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Speaker 1: about a week with them. As time gets closer, I

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Speaker 1: feel really excited and sad because it will not be

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Speaker 1: the same. What do I do to make these negative

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Speaker 1: thoughts go away? Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Jess Okay, Jess, I'm gonna track with you here real quick,

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Speaker 1: making sure I understand your email. You were together, you

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Speaker 1: broke up because mental health got the best of you,

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Speaker 1: you said some things that you regret. You guys, broke

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Speaker 1: it off, your ex sit focus on yourself to get better.

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Speaker 1: Then he messaged you one night. That always happens, you know,

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Speaker 1: these kind of messages always come at night, right, They

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Speaker 1: never come in the morning. They come at night. That's

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Speaker 1: when loneliness strikes. And then you got you got kind

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Speaker 1: of excited and kind of sad at the same time.

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Speaker 1: And then you started talking NonStop and it was like

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Speaker 1: you were right back at the beginning. And then you

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Speaker 1: went to travel to see them. I don't know why

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Speaker 1: you said them, Like, why are we talking about them

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden. Maybe maybe the family, maybe he

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Speaker 1: has kids, I don't know. Let me just make I'll

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Speaker 1: make this quick. You want to know how to make

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Speaker 1: these negative thoughts go away. I think you're relying too

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Speaker 1: much on these relationships. When he broke up with you,

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Speaker 1: saying your mental health got the best of you and

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Speaker 1: you said something that you regret. So you guys broke

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Speaker 1: it off so you could focus on yourself to get better.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that happened. I don't think you're well.

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Speaker 1: I don't think anything got better. I think he just

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Speaker 1: got lonely and messaged you. He got lonely. He messaged you.

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Speaker 1: You're an ex. You were the next one on his

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Speaker 1: phone list. I promise you, I don't mean that to

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Speaker 1: be offensive to you. But he pulled out his phone.

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Speaker 1: He was like, I'm lonely. Who could I call? Oh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna call Jess because she's probably lonely too. And

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Speaker 1: so he messaged you and he said, are you lonely?

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Speaker 1: I'm lonely and you said, yes, I'm lonely. Are you lonely?

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Speaker 1: And he said yes, let's get together. That's the summary

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Speaker 1: of what happened. And then of course things got right

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Speaker 1: back to where they were. You start chit chat and

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Speaker 1: you figured out all that. Yeah, I remember, I remember.

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Speaker 1: Things were so good. We're so quick to forget about

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Speaker 1: the bad and the negative things and so quick to

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Speaker 1: just jump into the good stuff. So now you're worried again.

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Speaker 1: You're worried about those negative thoughts coming back. Maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: you're gonna say something you regret again. And I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you this, Jess, you will nothing changed except loneliness

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Speaker 1: got in the way a little bit, so you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to. Like I said, I want to make this

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Speaker 1: question quick, but it's time to get out because I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying you're gonna mess up. I'm saying this relationship

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Speaker 1: is not working until things get fixed, and they're not

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Speaker 1: gonna be fixed together. Okay, this is just lust. This

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Speaker 1: is just loneliness kicking in. That's all this is. I

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Speaker 1: promise you you're not gonna find anything at the end

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Speaker 1: of this path except for like the last question, a waterfall.

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Speaker 1: Take your sale down, set a new course, get onto

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Speaker 1: some open waters, get your head up, be looking out

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Speaker 1: the waterfalls, and do some healing here. There's gonna be

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Speaker 1: some healing. It needs to happen. We'll take a break

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Speaker 1: to your back. This podcast is brought to you all

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00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 1: by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp

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Speaker 1: dot com, slash Granger, and get on your way to

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Speaker 1: being your best self. Now. I've said so many times

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Speaker 1: on this podcast that I'm not a therapist. I'm not

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Speaker 1: a psychiatrist. I just tried to speak you the truth

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Speaker 1: that I know. But if you need further help than that,

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Speaker 1: Please go get some professional help. And if you are

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Speaker 1: someone that's never done therapy before, and maybe you're just

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Speaker 1: you're not the kind of person who wants to go

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Speaker 1: lay down on a green couch, well I'll tell you

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Speaker 1: there's other alternatives out there. It's so easy to get

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Speaker 1: caught up in what everyone else needs from you and

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Speaker 1: not take a moment just to think about what you

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Speaker 1: need for yourself. I think that's been pretty evident just

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Speaker 1: in the questions we've gotten today already. People tend to

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Speaker 1: feel stretched and thin and burned out, and therapy can

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Speaker 1: give you the tools to find more balance in your

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Speaker 1: life so you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind.

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Speaker 1: So this is where better Help comes in. If you're

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Speaker 1: thinking of trying therapy or starting therapy, hey give better

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00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 1: Help a try. It's entirely online, you don't have to

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00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 1: go anywhere. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited

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Speaker 1: to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to

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00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 1: get matched with the licensed therapist, and then you could

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00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 1: switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find

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00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 1: more balance with better Help visit betterhelp dot com. Slash

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00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 1: granger today and get ten percent off your first month.

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00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,360
Speaker 1: That's better help. H e lp dot com slash Granger

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Speaker 1: And just a reminder that on August first, Like a River,

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Speaker 1: my book comes out. I'm so excited to get this

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Speaker 1: book into your hands. I think this will be such

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Speaker 1: an important thing for so many questions that come in.

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Speaker 1: I could say, have you read the book? Check out

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Speaker 1: the book, and then we could discuss further. But if

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Speaker 1: you're going through things similar to what I did, and

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Speaker 1: that's anything to do with loss, whether that's a job

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Speaker 1: or a dream, or a car or a pet, or

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00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 1: like me, someone you loved, well, then you could read

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Speaker 1: this book Like a River and we could discuss further.

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Speaker 1: I think it's very important that you hear exactly what

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Speaker 1: happened and hear how I was healed. The book is

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Speaker 1: called Like a River. You could actually pre order the

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Speaker 1: book right now at grangersmith dot com. Back to the podcast.

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Speaker 1: All right, Back to the podcast and starting off with

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Speaker 1: an interesting question. It just kind of scanned it before

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Speaker 1: I hit record here. Subjicline says our God, and the

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Speaker 1: email itself says, Hey Granger, I have a question about God.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm not sure I've ever heard you explain

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Speaker 1: this in a podcast? How do we know our God

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Speaker 1: is the real thing? I grew up in a Southern

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Speaker 1: Baptist and nation. I have accepted Jesus, but as I

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Speaker 1: get older, I always ask myself, how do we know

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Speaker 1: our God is the real deal. I don't know for sure,

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Speaker 1: but I'm sure every religion will tell you their god parentheses.

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Speaker 1: Gods are the only right real thing. Only one group

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Speaker 1: is correct. But how do we know it's ours? I've

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Speaker 1: always heard to walk by faith and not by sight,

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Speaker 1: and I have my whole life, but sometimes I just

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Speaker 1: question this subject, and nobody's ever been able to explain.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for your music and your podcast. Yigi question

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Speaker 1: comes from Brayden and it's a good question, and Braidan,

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Speaker 1: I want to first of all, I want to validate

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Speaker 1: the search because I think the search is biblical, and

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Speaker 1: I think I think it's very important for all religions,

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Speaker 1: all spiritual people to cultivate a desire for the search

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Speaker 1: for truth. I think it's important definitely for me, definitely

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Speaker 1: from my personality. I think it's important to not fall

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Speaker 1: under the facade of does God walk by faith? Just

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Speaker 1: gotta believe? Hey, what do you think about God, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Just gotta believe, just gotta have faith, just

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Speaker 1: gotta have faith. That's dangerous to do that because if

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Speaker 1: you're not testing your faith, right like Paul says, we

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Speaker 1: need to test our faith, If you're not testing it

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Speaker 1: up against truth, then how do you know it's real?

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Speaker 1: And so you could tell people all day long, I

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Speaker 1: just believe. Just got to have faith, just got to believe.

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Speaker 1: Well that's interesting, Okay. Now there's many ways that faith

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Speaker 1: is tested, and one way is by persecution or trial,

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Speaker 1: are suffering. You're gonna know quickly through suffering or trials

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Speaker 1: or persecretion, persecution, you're gonna know, oh man, I am

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Speaker 1: mad at God, or I don't believe in God anymore

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Speaker 1: because God would never allow this bad thing to happen.

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Speaker 1: Or you're gonna run and you're gonna get closer. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna the suffering, the trials are gonna draw you closer,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna God, I trust you, I run to you,

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Speaker 1: I need you even more now than ever. So then

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Speaker 1: you go, Okay, my faith is passed the test, or

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Speaker 1: my faith is so flimsy it just completely shattered. So

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Speaker 1: I first I want to acknowledge the the wrestling. I

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Speaker 1: think we should wrestle. I don't think we should. I

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Speaker 1: don't think we should play around with doubt. But I

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Speaker 1: think there's a difference between like doubting and testing our

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Speaker 1: faith up against truth. Because because why why do I

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Speaker 1: say that? I say that because we can be self

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Speaker 1: deceived and anyone that doesn't recognize they can be self

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Speaker 1: deceived is self deceived. That just came right back around

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Speaker 1: at me, didn't it. Yeah, So if you don't think

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Speaker 1: you can be self deceived, I promise you you are

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Speaker 1: being self deceived right now. So we need, we need

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Speaker 1: to be affirmed by first of all, people other people

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Speaker 1: around us that are in our faith, that that that

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Speaker 1: can that can say you, here's here's what you're thinking,

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Speaker 1: and here's what I or I have struggled with this,

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Speaker 1: and and we all come together and we help give

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Speaker 1: each other assurance. Right, you need assurance and deeper than that,

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Speaker 1: I would encourage you to explore all the religions. Some

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Speaker 1: people might not agree with that. Some people might say, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that, Braden. I think you should.

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Speaker 1: I think you say here's what your question says. All

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Speaker 1: religions will tell you that their God is the only

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Speaker 1: real deal, and you're correct. You're also correct in saying

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Speaker 1: that only one can be correct, right, There's only one

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Speaker 1: that can be right. So all the religions claim that

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Speaker 1: their God is the God, and they can't all be right.

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Speaker 1: Only one can. So I would tell you go on

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Speaker 1: a journey, Go on a journey searching through these different religions. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's it is a deep well, and I enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: That's my personality. I'm a history buff. I love dig

427
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: I love World War two, I love the Civil War

428
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: and Vietnam and Great Depression. And I love history. I

429
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 1: love digging in and I love biblical history. So I

430
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: would encourage you to go down the Islam route and

431
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: research Mohammad, who he was, the time period, how he

432
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 1: got his revelation, how the Qoran was eventually written. Okay,

433
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 1: that's a good route to take. Study set of the Jews.

434
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: Study the Jews and why they think that the Messiah

435
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: still has not come yet, what they're looking for and

436
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 1: what they believe they didn't see in Jesus. Go down

437
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: the route of the Jehovah's witnesses, go out, go down

438
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: the route of Charles Day's Russell, go down the route

439
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 1: of Joseph Smith with the Church of Jesus Christ of

440
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 1: Latter day Saints. This is the overview of the Abrahamic religions.

441
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: And then I would go into Buddhism and go to Buddha,

442
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: and then I would go into the Hindu religion and

443
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 1: research the ancient Hindus and where they came from. Go

444
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 1: down this path and start looking, start taking notes and looking,

445
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: and you're like Granger, WHOA, This is not what I meant?

446
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 1: Is it not? Is this not what you meant? Because

447
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're searching. It sounds like you want

448
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:03,159
Speaker 1: some assurance. And I promise you, I'm just one beggar

449
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 1: telling another beggar where I found bread. But you're gonna

450
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: find some crazy things down this rabbit hole, and you're

451
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: gonna have to answer one question, two questions. This is

452
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: what I think. Two questions. This is what I what

453
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: I go back to. Though there's many and I've studied

454
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: extensively on this, but there's two questions you have to answer. One,

455
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: where did we come from? I'm not talking about your mama.

456
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: I'm talking about where did humans come from? You're gonna

457
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: have to go back to creation. It was either it

458
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 1: was either creation created by a super intelligence, right okay,

459
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: so created by a superintelligence, or created out of an accident,

460
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: and it would have to have the accident has to

461
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: have come from nothing. Now, atheist, I argue atheists, I

462
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: don't argue. I debate atheists that challenged me on this

463
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: saying that it doesn't have to come from nothing. But atheists,

464
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: in their viewpoint, always will stand on the fact that

465
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 1: they are atheists because they do not know. So that's

466
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: that's whether they could always fall onto My truth is

467
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: I don't know that no one could know the truth.

468
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 1: Let me take a breath. I love this stuff, but

469
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 1: you got to start with where do we come from?

470
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: So it's either a super intelligence sparked life, could have

471
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: been the Big Bang, could have been whatever you want

472
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 1: to call it. But it sparked life, it breathed life

473
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 1: into into life, whatever this central point of that was,

474
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: or something spontaneously happened out of nothing. Because why do

475
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: I say nothing, Because something can't come from nothing. It's

476
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: impossible that something that matter comes from non matter, or

477
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: if it did come from something, that means something had

478
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: to have been eternal forever. So this is the creation issue.

479
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: That's a deep well, go down that rabbit hole, and

480
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: then fast forward several thousand years and you've got to

481
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: go to the empty tomb. This is the issue where

482
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: all the Abrahamic traditions intersect. You've got to deal with

483
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: the empty tomb. Because most credible scholars in the world,

484
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: regardless of religion, will agree on this. Jesus was a

485
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: real person who lived in a real time, who had

486
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: real followers, who had a real message. Okay, Jesus, the

487
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: same real person with real followers, with real disciples, was

488
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 1: crucified and killed by the Romans. Jesus, after he was killed,

489
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: was put into a tomb three days later. This is

490
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: what everyone agrees on. Three days later, the tomb was

491
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,479
Speaker 1: empty and the stone was rolled away. They also agree

492
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: that he claimed to be the son of God. So

493
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 1: here we go. Here's this named Jesus. He was a

494
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: very loved prophet who his followers believed and followed, and

495
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 1: he was crucified for heresy by the religious elite in Jerusalem,

496
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 1: partnering with the Romans, and he claimed to be the

497
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: son of God. They killed him on a cross, crucified

498
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: him three days later. The tomb where he was placed

499
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: is now empty. This is what all credible scholars agree.

500
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: So at that point I give it to you and

501
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 1: I say, what are we going to do with the

502
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: empty tomb? What are we gonna do with this? You

503
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: could say, well, maybe the disciples stole the body. I say,

504
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: he had two guards and they were sleeping Roman guards. Well,

505
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 1: maybe they defeated the guards and then the guards fell

506
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 1: asleep and they stole the body. What they do with

507
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 1: the body, because Jerusalem would have been completely upturning everything

508
00:30:56,080 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: to find this body, whether it was the the Jewish

509
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 1: Anhedron or the Roman elite. They would have been turning

510
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: the town over to find the body where to go?

511
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: Then I say, why would they have stolen it? Here's

512
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: the crazy thing after that, why would they have stolen

513
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: a dead body from a grave three days later that

514
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: started to decompose, stolen it, hidden the body the dead body,

515
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: or burned it or destroyed it. And then their faith grows,

516
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: and suddenly they start preaching the message that he's alive again.

517
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: And then they're killed for saying that, and all of

518
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: their families murdered, and yet somehow they have peace about this,

519
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: enjoy about this, They have hope in this, and they say,

520
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 1: our Savior has risen, he is alive, and he has

521
00:31:54,080 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: shown his deity as the god Man by resurrecting like

522
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: no human has ever done. And now this is I'm

523
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: just saying what they said, right, I'm not forcing my

524
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: opinions on anyone. I'm just saying. Then he goes around

525
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 1: and he spreads this message to over five hundred eye witnesses.

526
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,479
Speaker 1: All of them say, we saw him, we believe him.

527
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: Jesus is alive. He came right he the stone has

528
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 1: been rolled away, he came out of the tomb and

529
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: he's alive. And the Romans say, oh cool, we're gonna

530
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: kill you unless you say that's a lie, and they say,

531
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: kill me. Why would they do that? They're either crazy

532
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: and I don't think all these crazy people could coordinate

533
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 1: their message, align their message perfectly. Or they are lying

534
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 1: and nobody lies if they're gonna be killed for it, right,

535
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: especially their family, Like we're gonna kill your whole family. Nope,

536
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: it's the truth. Well that's stupid. And number three, they

537
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: were telling the truth. I don't know if Braden, I

538
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 1: don't know if you expected this long of an answer,

539
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: but I give all this information to you. Have fun, buddy,

540
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: have fun. Oh man, Sometimes I get going a little

541
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: bit too long. I think here's a question I have here.

542
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 1: Subject line says lost lost Hey Grangdew absolutely love your

543
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: music and your podcast. I'm nineteen years old from Buffalo,

544
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: New York. I got a lot on my mind from

545
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 1: this past year I'm trying to figure out, so I'll

546
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: try to keep this email short. There's a girl and

547
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 1: I met her a few years ago, but at the

548
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 1: time I was too unsure of myself to introduce myself.

549
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: Sometime after that, she began dating one of my friends

550
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: who broke who They broke up last year. About the

551
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 1: time of the breakup, we began working at the same place,

552
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: so we began to talk and hang out with other friends.

553
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: By this time, I'd become more confident in myself, so

554
00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 1: a few months later I thought it might be best

555
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 1: to ask her before I got a chance. I learned

556
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 1: she just started dating one of my other friends. She

557
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,479
Speaker 1: and I are still friends, and since then she's found

558
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 1: someone else. That's where our relationship will stay. A bit

559
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 1: later in the summer, I spent a weekend with a

560
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: group of friends and their friends and the weekend felt

561
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: like I was connecting the dots to one of the

562
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: girls I met there. Everything about her is attractive to me,

563
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 1: and we had plenty of time talking. At the time,

564
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: I was compelled to ask her out. But that weekend

565
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: I learned she was younger than me by three years

566
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: and that exceeds my gap for dating. Oh yeah, sorry

567
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 1: to laugh. And because of this and my uncertainty if

568
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 1: my feelings were real or drink induced, I have refrained

569
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: from asking her out. In regard to both of these situations,

570
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: I often asked myself, have I made the right choices?

571
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: Is God trying to show me something, etc. I'm unsure

572
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 1: what specific question I'm trying to ask you, but my

573
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 1: same question is what are your thoughts? Okay? Question comes

574
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 1: from anonymous and Buddy, you are all over the map.

575
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,959
Speaker 1: This reads like you wrote it in like poetry form,

576
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: or like every sentence is on its own line. And

577
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,919
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what to tell you besides the fact

578
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 1: that you're nineteen and I just want you to pump

579
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: the brakes a little bit. Man, you're a little bit

580
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: girl crazy. Just pump the brakes. Your confidence will grow

581
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,320
Speaker 1: as you just get a little bit older. That's it.

582
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 1: You're feeling insecure, you're feeling like you don't you're not

583
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 1: what was the word you used, you're not as I

584
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 1: don't know what you use. I don't know besides drink induced.

585
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 1: But I I'm kind of lost at this question. Besides,

586
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: I think you're just a little girl crazy, and I

587
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: think it would be wrong of me to encourage you

588
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: down a path of asking more girls out and trying

589
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: to figure this this. I would just say, buddy, pump

590
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 1: the breaks, hang out with your friends, suppress those feelings

591
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: of got to ask her now, got to ask her now,

592
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 1: and just go with the flow. Be natural about it.

593
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 1: If you're with a girl and you think she's cute,

594
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: just tell her she's cute. If not, don't. But it's

595
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 1: not rocket science, and you're trying to make this into

596
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,879
Speaker 1: like some math problem, So pump the brakes. I think

597
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: you're nineteen and you just need you need a few

598
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: more years. A few years need to go by, and

599
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 1: it's going to fix a lot of these problems. By

600
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: the way, you're not going to honor God. This is

601
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: what you said at the end. Is God trying to

602
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: show me something? Well, he might be trying to show

603
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 1: you something by saying, Hey, this drink induced dating thing

604
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: is this is just not going to be very good.

605
00:36:54,239 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 1: I know that for a fact. Next question Subjectliente says

606
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 1: making time for priorities. Hey, Grangeer, my name is Wes.

607
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen. Here we go another nineteen year old nineteen.

608
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm from Coopersville, Michigan. I like your music. I love

609
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 1: your God centered podcast. I was wondering if you have

610
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 1: any advice regarding finding my priorities. I've been having trouble

611
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: remembering everything i have to do, and I've been letting

612
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: people down by forgetting things. I've been getting more sleep lately,

613
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,240
Speaker 1: which seems to help, but I feel like I'm always

614
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 1: too busy to get everything done, which is why I

615
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: was losing sleep. I'm wondering how you make time for

616
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 1: your priorities, like spending time with your family, which I

617
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 1: assume is really important to you in the middle of

618
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: everything else that you do. Thank you so much, God

619
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: bless Wes. Appreciate the email. Brother nineteen, shout out to Michigan,

620
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: and your question is going to be about making time

621
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 1: for priorities. I am a little bit, a little bit

622
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: concerned to be going with you that you're nineteen, and

623
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: you are you have so much going on that you're

624
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:13,440
Speaker 1: forgetting things and letting people down. Maybe the advice to

625
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:17,439
Speaker 1: you at this point is, Buddy, it might be time

626
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: to start learning the art of saying no. This is

627
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 1: an art, and this is something I still struggle with

628
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to get better and I try to

629
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: remind myself daily. But it's okay to say no. You

630
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 1: could say no politely. Hey man, do you mind helping me?

631
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: You got to pick up truck? Do you mind on

632
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: Thursday night? It really helped me if you can come

633
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 1: over Thursday and help me move a couch and a dresser.

634
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 1: And you're thinking, Man, I get off work at five.

635
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: I've got stuff that I've got to mow the grass.

636
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: I got to catch up with stuff I promised this person.

637
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: And so it would be okay to say, buddy, I'm

638
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: so sorry, but I can't my Thursday stacked. I can't

639
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: make it. It's it's an art to say that because

640
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: sometimes we feel like, well, a friend would help another

641
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: friend move a couch, and that's just in a scenario.

642
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build a scenario because I don't know

643
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 1: what it is that's clogging up your days. But what

644
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 1: happens is you go to work, your boss holds you

645
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: a little bit, you don't get off at five, You

646
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 1: gotta get off at five thirty. You rush home, your

647
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 1: truck is running on empty. You got to go do

648
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: the you know, mow the grass. You find out now

649
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 1: your lawnmar's not starting, so you try to fix that,

650
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: and then you're doing a bad job mowing the grass.

651
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: You're stressed out, and then you get in your truck

652
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: to run your friend's house to help move the couch.

653
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,800
Speaker 1: You realize you're still on empty, so you got to

654
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 1: stop at the gas station, so you go in there

655
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:45,919
Speaker 1: and then you're spending money trying to fill up your tank,

656
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,720
Speaker 1: and then you're texting your buddy. You're running, you're rushing,

657
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 1: and you're just a little bit anxious, and you're like, hey, man,

658
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 1: I know I told you I'll be there at seven,

659
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: but it's probably looking more like seven forty seven forty five.

660
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,760
Speaker 1: Just had a lot, and he's like, man, yeah, no worries,

661
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: but yeah, if you can make it as soon as

662
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: you can, you get there. And then he's there and

663
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: he's a little frustrated, it's raining, and you're trying to

664
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 1: get the couch down the stairs of the three third

665
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: story of apartment complex, you're putting in the back of

666
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: your truck. You're trying to I mean, and then you're

667
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 1: getting to bed and you're wondering why you can't sleep.

668
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: You're like, man, I can't sleep because you got a

669
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: lot of stuff, a lot of stuff rattling around in

670
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: your head, and all this could really I could give

671
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 1: you a million ways to go on advice, but a

672
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: lot of your question I think I think it would

673
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: be appropriate for me to just say, buddy, Wes, you've

674
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 1: got to learn the art of saying no and being

675
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: okay with that and not thinking that you're less of

676
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 1: a friend, or less of a brother, or less of

677
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 1: a son or less of a boyfriend. If you say,

678
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, but I've got a lot going on

679
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: right now. Could I take a rain check on this.

680
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: I can't move the couch on Thursday, you know what.

681
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: I can move it on Sunday, but I can't move

682
00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: it on Thursday. And if you could learn to do

683
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 1: that more than you say yes. And this is not

684
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: about this is not about not serving people or not

685
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: pouring yourselves out to others. It's not about that. This

686
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 1: is about you being your best and keeping a good schedule.

687
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 1: So why so you don't let people down? Because if

688
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: you say yes to too many people, you're gonna let

689
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 1: all of those people down instead of people like at

690
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 1: the very beginning, say not, can't make it Thursday good?

691
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: Then I'll get somebody else. But if you say yes

692
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: and then you run late, you see what I mean

693
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 1: on all of this is a hypothetical situation I built.

694
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: But I'm just trying to help you this because you

695
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: asked me what do I do? What do I do?

696
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: I have to say no a lot, probably nine times

697
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: out of ten in my life I have to say no.

698
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do that. I'm so sorry, but

699
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: I have to say no so that the things I

700
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 1: say yes to I could be my best. And like

701
00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: I said, I still struggle with this. I'm still not

702
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 1: great get this, but it is a daily habit that

703
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: I put forth in my mind. Okay, right, I gotta

704
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 1: say no. I hope that helps, brother, and I hope

705
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: you can imply that, and I hope you could do

706
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 1: a little bit better than I did when I was

707
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: nineteen because I struggled as well with that kind of thing.

708
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: We're just filling my plate, and that's important for all

709
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: of us. It's not good to have a it's not

710
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: good to have the virtue of being busy. I don't

711
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 1: like that. I've said that before on this podcast, but

712
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,320
Speaker 1: I don't like the virtue of being busy. And that

713
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: is what's what we do in this culture. Like how

714
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: you been, man, good busy? You busy? Not me too,

715
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 1: man busy, And somehow we attributed that to like that's

716
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 1: like a good thing, that's like a positive thing in

717
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: your life. You could say it like this. You could say, hey, man,

718
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: you guys staying busy like you're expecting a Yes, you're

719
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 1: staying busy, right, Please tell me you're staying busy, man,

720
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 1: because what if you answered no, not very busy now

721
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 1: would sound like you're failing you stay busy man, No,

722
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 1: not very busy at all. That sounds like no, I'm

723
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: just not doing good in my life. And that's just false.

724
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 1: And I wish this culture would get out of that.

725
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 1: I wish we could break the habit of acting like

726
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: busyness as a virtue. There's nothing wrong with working hard

727
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 1: and filling the day with some hard work and going

728
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,320
Speaker 1: to bed tired and exhausted in a way because you

729
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 1: laid it all out there. But there's a difference between

730
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 1: that good, hard, diligent, deep hard work and now I'm

731
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: just busy all day distracted. It's not good. Hope that helps, brother.

732
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 1: I appreciate all y'all and we'll see you next morning.

733
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate

734
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by

735
00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe

736
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 1: to this channel. Hit that little like button and the

737
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload

738
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that

739
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at

740
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yi