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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: I discovered my girlfriend's tender profile after my friends saw

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Speaker 3: it first.

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Speaker 4: Hopefully it's an old profile somehow, maybe background info.

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Speaker 3: I suppose my girlfriend, thirty three female and I twenty

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Speaker 3: seven male, have been dating for over two years and

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Speaker 3: we've been living together for a year and a half.

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Speaker 3: I worked in the er and on the ambulance, so

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Speaker 3: I work long, twelve hour shifts days and sometimes nights.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Apologetic Apple, and if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay Storytime subrend it. I am Savannah, I'm Carly,

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Speaker 3: I'm Vincent, and we are here to give advice goofully,

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Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers, and we're just

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Speaker 3: gonna tell you what we would do this situation, So

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Speaker 3: you tell us what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 3: As Op says, I clocked out of my shift at

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Speaker 3: the hospital earlier today and was walking out with a

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Speaker 3: couple of my nurse friends. They asked me to wait

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Speaker 3: for them so we could walk out together. I didn't

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Speaker 3: think much of it, as the three of us are

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Speaker 3: super close due to trauma bond all and working together

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Speaker 3: for about two years now. As we got outside and

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Speaker 3: into the parking lot, my friend, who we will call Anna, said, Hey,

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Speaker 3: I need to show you something, and I'm sorry that

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Speaker 3: I am the one showing you. Anna pulls up her

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Speaker 3: phone and says, Alyssa was swiping on Tinder and came

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Speaker 3: across this profile.

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Speaker 4: Why do I feel like they were like playing rock

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Speaker 4: paper scissors on who would have to tell him? Because

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Speaker 4: it's not the one who've found it, who's telling him?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, like you tell him, no, you tell him?

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Speaker 3: It would be it would be the worst to be

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Speaker 3: in this situation. And you know what, ever, I know

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Speaker 3: all of my friends would put it on me too, fine,

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Speaker 3: because I have like I'm very like straight to the point,

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Speaker 3: like honest whatever, and so they'd be.

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Speaker 6: Like, do it okay?

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Speaker 2: Fine.

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Speaker 3: She turns her phone and shows me a screen recording

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Speaker 3: that Alyssa took of her tender and the profile. Sure

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Speaker 3: as crap, it's my.

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Speaker 2: Girlfriend, show us clap my golfin.

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Speaker 3: It my golf when the only thing is that all

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Speaker 3: the photos are old, Like, I am positive that these

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Speaker 3: are old photos because they're all photos I came across

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Speaker 3: on her Facebook after we became friends at a previous

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Speaker 3: job we both worked at. Obviously, regardless of the age

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Speaker 3: of the photos, seeing my girlfriend's Tinder profile popping up

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Speaker 3: on my friend's phone was quite a shock.

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Speaker 2: They both apologized.

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Speaker 3: Profusely, again told me they loved me, and that I

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Speaker 3: could call them tonight to talk if need be, since

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Speaker 3: we're all off tomorrow. I told Anna to send me

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Speaker 3: the video, gave them a hug, and left. On the

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Speaker 3: way home, I was talking to Gemini about no you

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Speaker 3: were Is this the AI generator? Honestly me though, I

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Speaker 3: kind of go topt for some stuff and then I

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Speaker 3: put in we can google it or there's no see

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Speaker 3: And then after I go so far into it that

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Speaker 3: I then put like their side of the story and

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Speaker 3: see if it agrees with them, like, and guys, it does.

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Speaker 3: It always agrees with everyone. And I'm like, oh, dang it,

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Speaker 3: you're just.

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Speaker 2: Making me feel good about nothing.

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Speaker 6: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I'm angry anyway. So on the way home, I was

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Speaker 3: talking to Gemini about Tinder profiles and how long they

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Speaker 3: stay active after the app is uninstalled or whatever the case.

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Speaker 3: From what I can find online, it seems odd that

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Speaker 3: her profile would be active after over two years. I'm

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Speaker 3: home now. My girlfriend noticed something was up with me,

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Speaker 3: but I told her we would talk about it later

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Speaker 3: after her class and after her son has gone to bed.

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Speaker 3: I just want to know how I should approach this.

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Speaker 3: Thanks in advance comments. Yo, If someone's tender account is

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Speaker 3: shown up, they've been active in recent months. If they're inactive,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't show the profile after a certain amount of time.

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Speaker 3: If you've been dating for two years, then.

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Speaker 2: Uh, I have a bad news for.

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Speaker 3: You, unless it's someone using her photos and name my

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Speaker 3: other massive fear. Yeah, that someone's like using your stuff

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Speaker 3: and then.

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Speaker 4: Like we're just like, yeah, my stuff for my partner

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Speaker 4: stuff Like that's just yeah, gotchy.

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Speaker 6: It's causing issues for no reason at all.

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Speaker 7: To get weird.

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Speaker 3: This person commented and said, it isn't complicated, but it

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Speaker 3: can be emotionally difficult. My coworkers have a video that

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Speaker 3: records a tender profile that looks like yours. Show her

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Speaker 3: the video is this your active profile. Another person commented said,

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Speaker 3: do you do you think anyone is catfishing or scamming

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Speaker 3: with her information? Opie responds, I don't think so, as

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Speaker 3: her Spotify is connected to the account and the account

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Speaker 3: is photo verified. Yeah, if it's photo verified, she's one

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Speaker 3: hundred percent active recently. If she's appearing to other people

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Speaker 3: after you've been dating two years, another person calm and

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Speaker 3: had said, first things first, remain calm. I would sit

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Speaker 3: her down and tell her that something's been brought to

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Speaker 3: your attention that concerns you because of your relationship values.

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Speaker 3: Then I would show her the screen recording and ask

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Speaker 3: her if you guys are okay, and then let her

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Speaker 3: explain herself.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, that's I like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, depending on her answers, you may need time to

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Speaker 3: process things, Opie said, I'm pretty calm considering the circumstances. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: I am known for my happy, slash goofy personality, so

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Speaker 3: people always know when something is wrong. I was going

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Speaker 3: to tell her that I have zero doubts about our

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Speaker 3: relationship thus far, but that I was shown a video

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Speaker 3: of something that concerns me. I was going to show

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Speaker 3: her the video then ask her if we could pull

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Speaker 3: up her phone slash download Tinder so I can see

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Speaker 3: if there is new messages or anything like that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I would have to assume that Tinder's not going

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Speaker 4: to be showing that to someone unless they have actively

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Speaker 4: managed to somehow scroll through like every tender profile in

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Speaker 4: their area. But I feel like they'd reshuffle before they

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Speaker 4: showed you ones that clearly haven't been used in two years.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, dah, I don't know. I'm I kind of just

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Speaker 3: want to see where it goes. Let's hear it the update.

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Speaker 3: I know a lot of you were wanting an update,

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Speaker 3: so here we are. I will also add background info

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Speaker 3: slash clarification as I wrote this whilst my head was

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Speaker 3: spinning one thousand miles per hour. Her child is ten

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Speaker 3: years old. I can see how ten m could be

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Speaker 3: confusing very much, so thank you. Yes, my girlfriend is

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Speaker 3: by Spicy related. Yes, so is Alyssa, who originally found

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Speaker 3: her profile. I imagine Alyssa sent this screen recording to

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Speaker 3: Anna because either she felt Anna and I were closer,

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Speaker 3: or because Alissa wasn't at work but Anna and I

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Speaker 3: were not sure. Didn't ask. But to the ones who

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Speaker 3: suspect that they're just trying to break us up for

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Speaker 3: no reason or out of jealousy. That ain't it okay? So,

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Speaker 3: after my girlfriend was done with her online class and

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Speaker 3: after her son was in bed, we both sat down

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Speaker 3: on the.

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Speaker 2: Couch to talk.

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Speaker 3: It took me a few seconds to get to the

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Speaker 3: words out of my mouth, but I told her that

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Speaker 3: I was shown a video of her tender account, to

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Speaker 3: which she replied, who showed you? And that pretty much

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Speaker 3: answered all my questions and my head started to spin

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Speaker 3: even faster.

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Speaker 6: Oh ya.

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Speaker 3: I told her that I wasn't sure why that was

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Speaker 3: even relevant right now, but she insisted though I told

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Speaker 3: her Anna showed it to me. She has also met

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Speaker 3: Anna and knows that Anna is straight, six months pregnant

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Speaker 3: and married. I told her that Alissa had sent it

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Speaker 3: to her, and she showed it to me again. Questioning

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Speaker 3: why this was relevant, I again asked her if she

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Speaker 3: was on Tinders. She replied yes. She admitted to downloading

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Speaker 3: it a week ago and attempting to match with women

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Speaker 3: for flirtatious conversations and attention. She did show me the

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Speaker 3: messages and I confirmed that they were all with women

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Speaker 3: they and that they were all just flirtatious conversations. She

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Speaker 3: assured me that she had no intentions further than flirtatious conversations,

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Speaker 3: and I believe that as she is thirty pounds heavier

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Speaker 3: now and rocking a pixie cut, but still using photos

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Speaker 3: from three plus years ago. She said she just downloaded

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Speaker 3: the app and logged right back in and didn't edit

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Speaker 3: anything about the profile from before. She also got very defensive.

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Speaker 3: She brought up an argument from the past, trying to

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Speaker 3: deflect and somehow make me like the a hole here.

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Speaker 3: I called her out on it, but was also trying

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Speaker 3: to keep my cool in between still trying to come

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Speaker 3: to terms that this was really happening. The last year

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Speaker 3: hasn't been easy for us, between health issues, job issues,

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Speaker 3: cost of living going up, and getting laid off work issues,

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Speaker 3: it's been rough. She said, she's felt like something has

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Speaker 3: been missing between us lately, that she's so lost that

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Speaker 3: she doesn't know what she's doing. She sobbed and told

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Speaker 3: me she made a really stupid, stupid mistake, to which

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Speaker 3: I agreed. I told her how stupid I felt because

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Speaker 3: when I was shown the video by my friends, I

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Speaker 3: almost just laughed it off because it was so out

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Speaker 3: of left field that the photos were old and crap.

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Speaker 3: I told myself there's no way. I don't know what

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Speaker 3: to do. As said previously, we have lived together for

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Speaker 3: two years. I contribute my income to the home, mortgage

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Speaker 3: and all other monthly bills. She co signed on the

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Speaker 3: car I bought because I started developing credit late and

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Speaker 3: had crap credit. We have the same phone plan, We're

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Speaker 3: on the same car insurance. So much of my life

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Speaker 3: is wrapped up in the relationship. I don't know where

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Speaker 3: to begin unraveling it. I don't know where to go currently.

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Speaker 3: I think I am sticking it out here until I

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Speaker 3: can build up my credit and hopefully my savings. I

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Speaker 3: just got laid off at one job, so I'm working

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Speaker 3: part time in the er until I start my new

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Speaker 3: job December first. I'm honestly just so lost myself illwill.

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Speaker 3: I know I should leave, but I care about her.

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Speaker 3: I am scared to put her and her son in

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Speaker 3: a bad spot after the year she's had. I don't

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Speaker 3: know what she would do. She doesn't have a support

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Speaker 3: system behind her. She has me. And there are some comments,

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Speaker 3: I mean, what what?

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Speaker 5: And we're gonna go with calonder On for that one comment.

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Speaker 3: Nomber covenor number one and says, I mean this would

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Speaker 3: be immediate breakup territory for me. These are issues she

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Speaker 3: should have brought up to you for car conversation, as

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Speaker 3: opposed to seeking outside validation. She's putting herself before the relationship.

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Speaker 3: Her need for attention will continue to grow. Eventually, harmless

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Speaker 3: flirting won't be enough, so she will take it a

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Speaker 3: step further. She said, a committed monogamous relationship. The only

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Speaker 3: person she should be seeking attention from is you. Another

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Speaker 3: person comment said, right, it's even a freaking cliche. Those

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Speaker 3: AI cheating stories spit out. She's not sorry she did it,

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Speaker 3: She's just sorry she got caught. Another commenter says, she

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Speaker 3: emotionally cheated on you. At the least she actively hid

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Speaker 3: other relationships from you. I couldn't trust her, and there

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Speaker 3: isn't any reason to be in a relationship with someone

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Speaker 3: you don't trust. Ope Hee responds, I know, hm oh.

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Speaker 3: Another commentator says, who duh F cares about why you

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Speaker 3: are stuck together? If you were sticking out, did she

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Speaker 3: at least say she will delete tender in anything else

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Speaker 3: to make it right? Otherwise you're an an effing chump.

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Speaker 3: You didn't say she was sorry or remorseful. She turned

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Speaker 3: it on you right away. Nothing sounds soppable, uh, Opie responds,

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Speaker 3: she did delete it, and she was remorseful, not that

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Speaker 3: it was very helpful in that moment.

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Speaker 4: But ultimately she consciously made the choice to download Tinder,

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Speaker 4: reactivate it, flirt with people one like like she knew

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Speaker 4: what was gonna happen kind of thing. So I don't

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Speaker 4: think that you can really feel bad about giving her

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Speaker 4: the consequences of those actions, being like we're breaking up,

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Speaker 4: and you can give her some time to find a spot,

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Speaker 4: to get out with her kids, to be back on

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Speaker 4: her feet if you really.

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Speaker 6: Want to in that way.

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Speaker 4: But I personally would say, don't go back to her

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Speaker 4: in a relationship sense.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I like I understand where Opie is coming from

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Speaker 3: because I'm the same way, like I give, give, give,

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Speaker 3: But like I hate that she like switched around and

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Speaker 3: was like, oh, well, you know, like you did this

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Speaker 3: the one.

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Speaker 6: Time, bluh.

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Speaker 3: We like that that just shows that, like this person

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Speaker 3: is not willing to like really go into their insecurities

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Speaker 3: or their issues and they just are going to deflect deflect,

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Speaker 3: which never gets you anywhere. Yeah, I hope that you

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Speaker 3: do get out of that relationship, because I don't think

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Speaker 3: that it's going to be very healthy because I mean, honestly,

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Speaker 3: once a cheater, always a teater. I don't believe that

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Speaker 3: like people really change that much. They always will have

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Speaker 3: that uh like tendency and like people with like addictive

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Speaker 3: personalities and stuff like they need that. So like, you know,

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Speaker 3: and you don't need to do that to yourself because

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Speaker 3: it seems like you're also going through a tough time

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Speaker 3: and you can you know, like get through it and

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Speaker 3: discover things by yourself, on your own and you know,

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Speaker 3: build yourself up while also you know, building your life back. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it is really hard, but you know, people do it.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like you're a good enough person to

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Speaker 3: like have the support system and everything and you don't

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Speaker 3: need to worry about like this girl who's causing you

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Speaker 3: all of these issues and doing it to herself. You know,

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Speaker 3: like you didn't cause anything. There wasn't a like an

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Speaker 3: issue between you two.

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Speaker 2: They did it.

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Speaker 3: Oh, like you know, it's not on you.

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Speaker 6: OPI one hundred percent agree.

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Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna go to the next one.

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Speaker 7: My boyfriend destroyed the painting I made for him because

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Speaker 7: it's cheap.

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Speaker 2: Well, you were noe Picasso.

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Speaker 7: I twenty four female have a boyfriend, John twenty seven male,

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Speaker 7: who is extremely difficult to buy presents for. He comes

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Speaker 7: from an affluent family, has a great job, and buys

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Speaker 7: everything he wants whenever he wants it. By the way,

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Speaker 7: this comes from user the Painter. And if you want

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Speaker 7: to submit your own stories, go to the r slage. Okay,

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Speaker 7: storytime subbered it.

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Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and here we are.

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Speaker 7: We're here to give you a little good advice Gooflee.

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Speaker 7: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

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Speaker 7: what we do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 7: do in the comments. Please please, As Op says, I

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Speaker 7: am lower income. I lost my job a few months

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Speaker 7: ago and had to take another one which pays less.

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Speaker 7: I'm struggling to pay my part of the rent and

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Speaker 7: pay off my student loans. It is difficult for him

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Speaker 7: to understand this. Most of the time, I love to paint.

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Speaker 7: My boyfriend has said my paintings are very good and

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Speaker 7: that he likes them a lot.

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Speaker 2: And since my income is.

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Speaker 7: Solow, I decided to paint him a painting for his

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Speaker 7: birthday this Saturday. I researched this for months beforehand, and

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Speaker 7: I decided to paint a scene from his favorite game,

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Speaker 7: BioShock with him as a Big Daddy character.

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Speaker 8: That's not a weird thing again, just to.

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Speaker 2: Paint the picture.

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Speaker 7: It's just a big guy in like a like a

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Speaker 7: diver suit with NND.

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Speaker 5: Okay, okay, so he's in a driver's like the old

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Speaker 5: school divers.

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Speaker 7: I know it sounds cheesy, but I honestly thought he

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Speaker 7: would like it because he always said I was talented,

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Speaker 7: and he loves this game, and I poured a ton

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Speaker 7: of work into it.

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Speaker 2: That's not Daddy's ever said you think Bigtaddy. Everyone loves

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Speaker 2: Big Taddy.

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Speaker 7: A week before his birthday, he had been hinting heavily

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Speaker 7: at wanting a new iPhone. When I presented him with

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Speaker 7: the painting, he asked me if this was his present

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Speaker 7: and if I got him something else.

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Speaker 5: Dude, how is she going to afford the freaking two

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Speaker 5: thousand dollars iPhone?

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Speaker 6: How much is that iPhone? It's so expensive?

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Speaker 7: He got upset and said a bunch of awful things,

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Speaker 7: calling it a cheap and lazy gift and saying that

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Speaker 7: I was cheap in general. I tried to diffuse the

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Speaker 7: situation and told him I was sorry he didn't like it,

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Speaker 7: but that I wasn't able to get him the iPhone

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Speaker 7: he wanted. He took the painting and didn't tear it,

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Speaker 7: but he bent and crinkled it, completely, ruining the paint.

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Speaker 7: He told me that I obviously didn't care about what

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Speaker 7: he wanted and that I was bad at budgeting. So

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Speaker 7: it came out that my boyfriend resented paying for groceries

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Speaker 7: and utilities, even though he had agreed to this before.

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Speaker 7: I told him that if he wanted to discuss it,

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Speaker 7: we could, but this wasn't a good reaction. He told

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Speaker 7: me that I was just after him for money and

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Speaker 7: that he didn't want a crappy painting when he could

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Speaker 7: apparently be in a committed relationship with another girl at

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Speaker 7: his workplace who makes more money, And then he said,

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Speaker 7: but I know you, as though that excused what he said.

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Speaker 7: Then he brought up this girl, claiming she had brought

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Speaker 7: him a red velvet cake for his birthday, which is

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Speaker 7: his favorite cake, and implied that I didn't care about

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Speaker 7: his preferences.

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Speaker 2: I told my boyfriend.

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Speaker 7: I baked him a chocolate cake earlier in the week

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Speaker 7: with cream cheese frosting, which is basically red velvet.

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Speaker 2: It is, it is, it is.

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Speaker 7: He switched and said that this other girl had gotten

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Speaker 7: it from his favorite bakery, in that some random girl

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Speaker 7: knew which bakery he liked over me. So you want

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Speaker 7: to take the bakery cake over, like your girlfriend baked.

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Speaker 2: You a freaking cake.

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Speaker 6: That's crazy.

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Speaker 5: I was saying, it doesn't like homemade things.

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Speaker 7: I just went to bed this morning. He's gone, and

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Speaker 7: so is the painting. He sent me a text saying

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Speaker 7: he went out to an Easter slash birthday brunch with

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Speaker 7: his parents and he'll be back soon. I'm not sure

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Speaker 7: if I want to end the relationship, which has a

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Speaker 7: ton of commitment involved. He has never acted like this

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Speaker 7: before about money, and he's not telling me what's going on.

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Speaker 7: I think he might be interested in this other girl,

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Speaker 7: or at least jealous of how much money she makes

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Speaker 7: compared to me.

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Speaker 5: I agree, crack the case. Sherlock the girl that he

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Speaker 5: told you he would rather be with.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like he's made interested.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, she knows the cake that I like instead and

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Speaker 7: you don't like and makes that big CPA money.

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Speaker 5: He also said maybe I should be with this girl.

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Speaker 5: He literally said that, So we should say you just

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Speaker 5: get you do.

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Speaker 6: That, you leave that glass.

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Speaker 8: The cake is a lie.

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Speaker 2: The cake is indeed a lie.

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Speaker 7: I am already feeling very hurt about the painting, and

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Speaker 7: I'm not sure that's a good place to start another argument.

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Speaker 7: And there are some comments. The first one says, are

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Speaker 7: you kidding me? Your boyfriend ruined something that you made

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Speaker 7: for him out of love and called it crappy because

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Speaker 7: it wasn't expensive enough. Beerates you for your financial situation

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00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 7: and is talking about another girl in front of you.

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Speaker 2: Why is this guy not your ex already?

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Speaker 7: Please don't say he's a good guy, because good guys

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Speaker 7: don't do crap like this.

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Speaker 5: True. And also she said that he had never done

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Speaker 5: anything like this, which is not true because she said

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Speaker 5: earlier that he had never understood her financial situation, so

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Speaker 5: clearly this was already an underlying problem.

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Speaker 2: Op He says he's definitely not the best guy.

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Speaker 5: Well, why were we with him?

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Speaker 7: What I would say is he says a lot of

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Speaker 7: things in anger, but I am definitely considering breaking up

390
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 7: with him because of my financial situation and the least.

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Speaker 2: It would be very difficult.

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Speaker 7: However, so I'm wondering if there's any way this could

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Speaker 7: be worked out. OPI mentions something else that happened in

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Speaker 7: the past. Haha, I wish stop laughings.

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Speaker 2: Not funny up it? I mean, well, you can cope,

396
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Speaker 2: I guess, but it's ha ha.

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Speaker 6: Maybe it's for the ha ha.

398
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Speaker 7: I wish wait until I tell you about the muffin incident.

399
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Speaker 2: He thought I was making blueberry.

400
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 7: Muffins and threw one across the room when he realized

401
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 7: they were cranberry and the Thanksgiving tobacco god names, he

402
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 7: told my grandmother.

403
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Speaker 2: He thought that she was passed away already.

404
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 5: He went up to your grandma and said, hey, I

405
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 5: thought you.

406
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 2: Were passed away. Hey, what are you doing? He zombie? Hey,

407
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 2: what are you resurrect you with a spell? I thought

408
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 2: you would dea d we're breaking up.

409
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 7: Now we've got an update. I think we're breaking up.

410
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 7: I have an update. When John didn't return after a

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Speaker 7: couple of hours and I read your comments, I got

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00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 7: a little pissy and invited over a couple of girlfriends

413
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Speaker 7: for drinks and complaining. I did a lot of complaining,

414
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 7: and they basically said what you said. John did not

415
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 7: return home after his Easter brunch, so I ate a

416
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Speaker 7: tray of lemon bars. When I got home from work today,

417
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 7: he had the painting and he'd put it in a

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Speaker 7: cheap dollar store frame. It was wrinkled, flaked, and ruined

419
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Speaker 7: beyond repair. He told me he was sorry that he

420
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Speaker 7: got so upset and that he was just expecting a

421
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Speaker 7: different gift. I asked him where he was, and he

422
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Speaker 7: said he stayed with his parents for the night and

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Speaker 7: borrowed work clothes from his dad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

425
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Speaker 7: Right. I directly asked him why he was so upset

426
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Speaker 7: when I gave him a painting that I worked so

427
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Speaker 7: hard on. He said that he pays for everything and

428
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Speaker 7: gets rightfully upset when I don't use all of my

429
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 7: extra cash to be thoughtful. I pay for half of

430
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Speaker 7: the rent on this expensive apartment all of my student loans.

431
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 7: I have no extra cash. He buys the most expensive

432
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Speaker 7: pod of the groceries, like a pound of pine nuts

433
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 7: a week and expensive gelatto, always in the freezer, and

434
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Speaker 7: cranks up the AC and he'd and leaves the lights on.

435
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Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

436
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Speaker 5: So his contributions are pine nuts and gelato and making

437
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 5: me ac bill high. I also feel like he's cranking

438
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 5: the ac and then he's like, oh, it's so chilly,

439
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 5: and then he puts the heat on.

440
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's flip flopping back and forth.

441
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 7: We would have countless arguments since I would be paying

442
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,679
Speaker 7: half of a huge bill that I contributed ten percent of.

443
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 7: He started paying for utilities in groceries at his insistence.

444
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 7: After it started to take a toll on our relationship.

445
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 7: I told him that if he was so upset, we

446
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 7: could split the utilities evenly again. But I was mad

447
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 7: that he took out his temper on me and destroyed

448
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,199
Speaker 7: all of my hard work. He starts saying things like

449
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 7: you never loved me, you knew I was a prize pig, etc.

450
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 7: Our degrees are the same. We have the same degrees.

451
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 7: That is how we met, but his dad hired him

452
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 7: right out of school and I was left to find

453
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 7: work for myself. I don't resent him for this, but

454
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 7: I wasn't even aware of his economic status while we

455
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 7: were initially dating. By the time I learned, I was

456
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 7: already invested in the relationship. Trust me when I say

457
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 7: he has never been this aggressive before in our entire relationship.

458
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: So I knew something was up.

459
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 7: I was super pissed, and I outright asked him if

460
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 7: he was effing Red Velvet his work friend.

461
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 2: He said that.

462
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,400
Speaker 7: A while ago, they went out for drinks after work

463
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 7: with a whole group and ended up kissing afterwards.

464
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 2: I asked him if that was all that happened, and

465
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 2: he said yes.

466
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 6: I literally don't believe him.

467
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 7: It doesn't matter like it all. Cheats on you and

468
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 7: then gets more aggressive with you. Yeah, because that's how

469
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 7: he's gonna cope with it.

470
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's cheated on you. He destroys your painting. He

471
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 5: is clearly incapable of understanding your financial situation and doesn't

472
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 5: want to. There's no upsights here.

473
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 2: There's really no upside your row upside.

474
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:46,160
Speaker 6: Yeah.

475
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,880
Speaker 7: I kept asking him what his problem is and why

476
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 7: he has to compare me to other girls, and why

477
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 7: he tore up the painting, why he's aggressive now and

478
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 7: he hasn't been before, et cetera. I know I was

479
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 7: probably being annoying, but I was so mad. He kept

480
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 7: repeating that money line over and over. Finally he broke

481
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 7: down and told me that it wasn't just a kiss.

482
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 2: What shocker? So shocking? Oh.

483
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 7: He said that he and red Velvet had started going

484
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 7: on little dates during work hours. They didn't have spicy sleep,

485
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 7: but they are basically in a relationship. He said he

486
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 7: was falling for her and felt as though she was

487
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 7: better for him and wanted me to break up with him.

488
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 5: So he was just trying to like, be awful to

489
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 5: you until you broke up with him.

490
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well well he did it. Uh yeah, well it's

491
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 2: time to break up.

492
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,360
Speaker 6: It's time to break up.

493
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 7: And PSA to the fellows out there if you're with

494
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 7: this holiday season. But is not even the fellas, just anybody, Yeah,

495
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 7: PSA to anybody who was in a relationship and you're like, like,

496
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 7: I don't know if I'm happy or I think I

497
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 7: might be falling for someone else. I'm just gonna be

498
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 7: awful to this person until they break up with me.

499
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 7: Never do that. Have the hard conversation. Yeah, always better

500
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 7: than just being awful, So much better. Part of the

501
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 7: painting thing was his resentment towards me financially, and part

502
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 7: of it was him wanting to hurt me enough that

503
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 7: I would break up with him. I guessed that the

504
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 7: fight about the painting was when it got real for

505
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 7: him and he wanted to fix it and break it

506
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 7: off with Red Velvet.

507
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 2: He and I had signed a one year lease and

508
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: we still have three months left.

509
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 7: But I told him to get out of the apartment

510
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 7: and that we were breaking up, and he did leave

511
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 7: with some clothes. I'm not sure if he's coming back.

512
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 7: Maybe he's staying with Red Velvet. I don't care, not anymore.

513
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 7: We have some more comments here twenty two six'. Two mel,

514
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,360
Speaker 7: Says i'm. Sorry you deserve much. Better, yeah she, does

515
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 7: And opie, SAYS i know that. Now in a, Way

516
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 7: i'm almost relieved that there was an underlying cause NOW

517
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,959
Speaker 7: i feel like he wasn't just being stupid and hurtful

518
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 7: because that's who he, is but because it was a.

519
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,719
Speaker 7: Goal maybe that's a dumb way to. Think BUT i

520
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 7: do still hate. Him, YEAH A cardi turn says.

521
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 5: A pound of pine nuts a, Week, yes a, Party

522
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 5: But cardi understands.

523
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 7: Me opi, replies, weird, Right it's like he had a

524
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 7: problem of some. Kind is he using them to salt his?

525
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 7: Driveway that's. Insane op says he eats them, constantly you,

526
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 7: know handfuls at a.

527
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 2: Time it's basically like eating.

528
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 7: Money derby does say not to mention they are one

529
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,439
Speaker 7: of the fattiest nuts you can, eat about two hundred

530
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 7: calories per.

531
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 2: Handful THAT i didn't know that pine.

532
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 7: Nuts op says he is quite. Chubby good, riddance he

533
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 7: will have himself an slice of red velvet. Cake, well,

534
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 7: hey you, know good on you using a little bit

535
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 7: of humored to cope a little bit of.

536
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 6: Humor but he.

537
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 2: Sucks dude, sucks and that's the end of that.

538
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: Story sam here og. Host we're gonna get back to these,

539
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,959
Speaker 1: stories but here's three minutes fads from our.

540
00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 5: Sponsors, first my boyfriend kept ruining my, birthdays SO i.

541
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 2: Left, goodbye.

542
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 5: Boyfriend my boyfriend has ruined my birthday two years in a.

543
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 5: Row AND i honestly don't know If i'm overreacting for

544
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,399
Speaker 5: thinking about leaving or If i'm acting. Selfish by the,

545
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 5: way this comes From Okay environment ninety four forty and

546
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 5: if you want to spit your own, stories go to

547
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,640
Speaker 5: the Arslash okay storytime.

548
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 6: Suburate I'm, Sophia.

549
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: I'm, Dakota I'm.

550
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 6: Carly. There we're here to give good, advice, goofy but

551
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 6: we don't have all the.

552
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 5: Answers we only know what we'd do so let us

553
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 5: know what you would do in the comments and Opisas last,

554
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,160
Speaker 5: year we got into a big fight on my. Birthday

555
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 5: it ended with him telling ME i was selfish for

556
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 5: wanting the day to be about, me.

557
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 2: Your, birthday your, birthday.

558
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 5: THAT i couldn't stand when attention wasn't on, me and

559
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 5: that it was my fault my birthday was. RUINED i

560
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 5: had only told him he was starting to act a

561
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 5: little too wasted and was embarrassing, himself.

562
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 6: But the situation escalated. Quickly we were.

563
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 5: Both, drinking SO i, apologized try to move past it

564
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 5: and chalk the whole thing up to. Booze this, YEAR

565
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 5: i played and SOMETHING i thought we'd both. ENJOY i

566
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 5: booked a three story arcade with go, karts acts, throwing

567
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 5: an indoor adventure, park and mini. GOLF i stayed away

568
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 5: from bars or clubs because he often says he's not

569
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 5: a fun guy or party person WHEN i suggest he

570
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 5: goes to those places with, me AND i didn't want

571
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 5: him to feel out of. PLACE i wanted it to

572
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 5: be something lighthearted and enjoyable for both of. Us he

573
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 5: had been in a great mood all, day even bought

574
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 5: himself something earlier that day for an Early Black friday,

575
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 5: Deal but the SECOND i finished getting, ready everything. Changed

576
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 5: he barely said, anything mumbled, up you look, nice and

577
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 5: his mood just. Shifted at the, arcade he barely talked or,

578
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 5: participated AND i kept trying to keep things, fun but

579
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 5: he just wasn't into. It while we were waiting for

580
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 5: the go, carts he told me he didn't want to

581
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 5: ruin my, day but he wasn't having, fun wasn't enjoying,

582
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 5: himself and was.

583
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 6: Hungry why are you a little?

584
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 2: Baby why don't you eat my dust on the go kart?

585
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 4: Track?

586
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: Buddy?

587
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 5: Literally why are you being such a little big Eie

588
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 5: bee also said that other places we went to were

589
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 5: better than. THIS i started feeling anxious and told HIM

590
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 5: i didn't know what to, do which he.

591
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 6: Pointed out wasn't his.

592
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 5: Fault IF i felt like, that we ended up leaving.

593
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 5: EARLY i offered to go to another place that had

594
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 5: food and looked like it could be a mix of

595
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 5: what we both, liked but he said if we went,

596
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 5: there he wouldn't talk because it wasn't somewhere he would.

597
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 5: Enjoy what does he even? Like? Literally what does this guy?

598
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 5: Like so we just went home he didn't even end

599
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 5: up getting the food he said he wanted so. Badly

600
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 5: when we got, home things just escalated in the worst.

601
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 5: WAY i asked again why he hadn't enjoyed. Himself he,

602
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 5: Said i'm not a fun.

603
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: Person i'm not a party person like.

604
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 5: You as IF i had taken him to a club

605
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 5: instead of an. Arcade that really hurt BECAUSE i had

606
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 5: planned this night specifically so he wouldn't say THAT i

607
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 5: wanted something low key that we could both. ENJOY i

608
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 5: told him it didn't make, sense and that's when he

609
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 5: said the real reason was that he wasn't happy with his.

610
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 5: Life he was sad and couldn't fake it at the.

611
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 5: ARCADE i know it might sound, selfish but it felt

612
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 5: LIKE i was being punished for. Trying no matter WHAT

613
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 5: i did to make things enjoyable for both of, us

614
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 5: he just wouldn't be. Happy he couldn't even try to

615
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 5: act happy for one night for my. Sake and what

616
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 5: makes it more confusing is that he's been in such

617
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,719
Speaker 5: a good mood all day before this. HAPPENED i do understand.

618
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 5: Depression i've dealt with it myself for a long, time

619
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 5: AND i know how overwhelming it can feel but in that,

620
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 5: moment it felt like he was using it to shift

621
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 5: the focus away from how the night actually. Went every

622
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 5: explanation he gave somehow turned the situation back onto. Me

623
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 5: he told him THAT i understood what he was going

624
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 5: through and that his feelings were, valid BUT i was

625
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 5: still hurt by how he acted throughout the night because

626
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 5: he didn't show up WHEN i needed him. TO i

627
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 5: SAID i needed to go downstairs for some space and

628
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 5: that we could talk about his feelings the next day

629
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 5: when things had calmed. Down instead of just letting me go,

630
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 5: downstairs he followed me downstairs and started. Yelling he said

631
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 5: THAT i was acting, SPOILED i was acting like your

632
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 5: fifteen year old, child THAT i was making everything about.

633
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 5: Me then most people don't even get to celebrate, birthdays

634
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 5: and then he stormed out of the house and drove.

635
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 5: Off the next, day WHEN i brought it up again

636
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 5: and gave him a chance to apologize for storming out

637
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 5: of the house and not telling me where he was,

638
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 5: going it turned into a conversation about HOW i.

639
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 2: Don't understand his feelings and NOW i don't validate.

640
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 5: Them BEFORE i could, speak he even said that IF

641
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 5: i tell HIM i understood his, feelings he might leave me.

642
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: Then go be gone from.

643
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 7: Me, wait, YES i don't you even and don't even

644
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 7: say you understand because you.

645
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 2: Don't and if you try to shay, That i'm just

646
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 2: gonna leave. Bye you can't win with this, guy mister no.

647
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 5: Fun he did, apologize but then turned it back on

648
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 5: me in the same, breath SAYING i make him feel

649
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,479
Speaker 5: like he can't talk to. Me it left me feeling

650
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 5: confused and, guilty like MAYBE i really don't understand, him

651
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 5: even Though i've tried so hard to get him to

652
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 5: open up to. Me i've begged him before to talk

653
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 5: to me about what's going on in his, life especially

654
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 5: WHEN i could tell something was happening at, work but

655
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 5: every TIME i, asked he'd shut me down. Immediately the

656
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 5: conversation then turned him into him, again calling me selfish

657
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 5: and spoiled because one out of three TIMES i was

658
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 5: celebrating with family and friends the next weekend turned out,

659
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 5: bad even though it turned out bad because of, Him

660
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 5: so it just felt LIKE i couldn't win either, way

661
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 5: LIKE i wasn't doing anything, right AND i just left

662
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 5: the whole conversation feeling. AWFUL i want to emphasize he

663
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 5: isn't an awful. Guy he did try to make it

664
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 5: up to me a couple days later with dinner and,

665
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 5: gifts BUT i can't shake how everything played. OUT i

666
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 5: know that his feelings are important and valid, too BUT

667
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 5: i just wanted one day to feel special without being

668
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 5: made to feel. SELFISH i worked two jobs While i'm in,

669
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 5: college and my birthday is one of the only days

670
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 5: all year WHEN i can dress, up feel, pretty and

671
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 5: actually enjoy. Myself NOW i don't even want to celebrate

672
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 5: my birth anymore with family or, friends AND i feel

673
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 5: bad THAT i don't really care about the gifts he got.

674
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 5: ME i honestly don't Think i've ever been this confused

675
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 5: about a relationship, before AND i really need help understanding

676
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 5: what's going. On AM i overreacting or an a hole

677
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 5: for thinking about leaving? Him WAS i acting? Selfish i'm

678
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 5: open to honest. Criticism, yeah that's that's.

679
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 2: Base he did it two years in.

680
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 5: A, row years in a, row and it seems like

681
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 5: he does this like for every sort of. Event, yeah

682
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 5: he's just mister no fun and you can't win with

683
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 5: a guy like.

684
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 7: That this was just like a one that's in a,

685
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 7: blue like literally like what like just a birthday. Thing

686
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 7: it'd be, like, okay maybe we can figure out what's

687
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 7: Actually maybe there's something else around, birthdays, yeah or something

688
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 7: that REALLY i don't, know but if it's just a,

689
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 7: constant every single thing is always, Well i'm just not.

690
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 2: Fun why would you want to be with someone who's not?

691
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,239
Speaker 5: Fun, YEAH i MEAN i don't want to be with

692
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 5: someone who's.

693
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 2: Not, fun like like expressly.

694
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 5: Not yea even says that he's not. Fun what do

695
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 5: you bring to the? Table common. ONE i had a

696
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 5: partner who found a way to ruin every special. Location

697
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 5: he wasn't battling, depression and the next, partner who was

698
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 5: battling depression did not ruin my special. Days it's not the.

699
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,319
Speaker 5: Depression this guy doesn't really like. YOU i hate to say.

700
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 5: It it's him that can't stand not being the center

701
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 5: of attention on other people's special. Days common two, Says,

702
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,879
Speaker 5: HEY i don't know if this is, helpful but one

703
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 5: of the most common TRAITS nypd self absorbed people is

704
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,479
Speaker 5: ruining days on holidays that are important to the self

705
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 5: absorbed person's. Partner someone who can shout at you on

706
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 5: your own birthday that you can't stand not being the

707
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 5: center of, attention can't stand not being the center of attention.

708
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 5: Themselves he made your next birthday about him. Too it

709
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 5: will never.

710
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 6: Change.

711
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 5: Edit, WOW i wasn't expecting this much engagement on my,

712
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 5: post AND i really appreciate everyone who took the time to.

713
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 5: Comment reading all of your perspectives has been overwhelming but

714
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 5: also very eye. OPENING i genuinely HOPED i was just

715
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 5: being selfish or misreading the, situation but hearing so many

716
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 5: consistent experiences and warnings has given me a lot to think.

717
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 5: About we do live, together so it makes everything more,

718
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 5: Complicated but leaving is SOMETHING i KNOW i need to,

719
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 5: do And i'm going to take the STEPS i need

720
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 5: to in order to protect my. Piece thank you to

721
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 5: everyone who shared, advice, experiences and. Support it truly means

722
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 5: more than you.

723
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 6: Know, hey final, thoughts.

724
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 2: Don't be with somebody who ruins.

725
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 6: It, yeah don't be.

726
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 9: ALWAYS i think that you should have at least seventy

727
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 9: five to eighty percent fun with your, Partner like like

728
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 9: in the entirety of like seventy five.

729
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 7: To eighty ruin it sometimes of Your, yeah sometimes sometimes

730
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 7: they're going to ruin it no matter who having.

731
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 5: Five to eighty percent of your time like your time

732
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,760
Speaker 5: with your. PARTNER i think you should be enjoying. Yourself

733
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,360
Speaker 5: but there is an. UPDATE i haven't told HIM i

734
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 5: leaving yet BECAUSE i need to make, arrangements get my things,

735
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 5: out and find a new place to.

736
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 6: STAY i also.

737
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 5: Don't want him to react badly or try to pressure

738
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 5: me into. STAYING i want to make Sure i'm in

739
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 5: a stable and safe position to leave before saying. Anything

740
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 5: everything is still really new And i'm taking things one

741
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 5: step at a. TIME i am celebrating my birthday with

742
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 5: my friends this. Weekend we're going out for karaoke and

743
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:34,280
Speaker 5: he is not. Invited he does not get another opportunity

744
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 5: to ruin this for. Me i'll also be looking into

745
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 5: the books and websites you guys have sent. Me comment

746
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 5: one says he's gonna throw o food at the not

747
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,920
Speaker 5: being invited. Part does he have your? Location can he

748
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 5: just show up and ruin it that? Way obi says

749
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 5: he wouldn't want to come even if he was, invited,

750
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 5: unfortunately as it's not something he'd be interested. In he's

751
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 5: also not the type to show, up but he is

752
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,359
Speaker 5: the type to start a, Fight So i'm getting ready

753
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 5: at a friend's place and staying the night there to

754
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 5: prevent that from, happening and to make sure he doesn't

755
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 5: get the. Chance common two says, THIS i also married

756
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 5: a man like, this and it only got worse year after.

757
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:13,359
Speaker 5: Year he made the holidays. Brutal he was, unhappy so

758
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 5: we all had to be. UNHAPPY i got so tired

759
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 5: of spending Every christmas trying to make magic for our

760
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 5: kids while he sat like a sullen gray, cloud just

761
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 5: raining on us for daring to try to have fun

762
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 5: out last, YEAR i had. Nothing couldn't even find it

763
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 5: in me to put The christmas tree up or wrap.

764
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 5: PRESENTS i just lay in bed Sat four days, LATER

765
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 5: i told HIM i wanted a divorce.

766
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 6: And haven't looked back. Since, congrats there you.

767
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 5: Go, yeah that guy was a sixty probably a forty percent,

768
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 5: fun maybe little, lower maybe.

769
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 2: Twenty and that's the end of this. Story we're gonna

770
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 2: go on to the next.

771
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 7: One my boyfriend is furious at me BECAUSE i called

772
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 7: him for dinner too.

773
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,080
Speaker 2: LATE i wanted to eat at six o. Five can

774
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 2: you call me a sa?

775
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 7: ROUTINE i twenty six female have been living with my

776
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 7: boyfriend thirty two male for the past two years and

777
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 7: it's been going pretty. Well i'm an er nurse AND

778
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,439
Speaker 7: i work twelve hour shifts from six am to six,

779
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,439
Speaker 7: pm which is perfect because by the TIME i start driving,

780
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,240
Speaker 7: home the traffic is terrible AND i get home just before,

781
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 7: dinner giving me enough time to. Cook dinner is at eight.

782
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:26,240
Speaker 7: Pm by the, Way this comes from user Fun cartographer

783
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,760
Speaker 7: six nine eight, four and if you want to submit

784
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 7: your own, stories go to the r Slash okay storytime subbered.

785
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,359
Speaker 2: It I'm, Dakota I'm, Sophia I'm, carly and we are

786
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 2: here to give you good advice, goofly but we don't

787
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 2: have all the.

788
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 7: Answers we only know what we, do so if you

789
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,760
Speaker 7: do something, else let us know in the comments and op.

790
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 2: Says for the past eight, Months i've noticed a.

791
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 7: Pattern my boyfriend comes out of his room thirty minutes

792
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 7: to an hour AFTER i call him for. Dinner SO

793
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 7: i started calling him about thirty minutes BEFORE i finished

794
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 7: to prevent the food from getting, cold and this has

795
00:38:58,320 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 7: been working.

796
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 2: Perfectly days, AGO i did.

797
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 7: My usual, routine calling him thirty minutes before dinner, started

798
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 7: and this time he came. Immediately of, course dinner wasn't,

799
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,759
Speaker 7: done and he got mad at. Me he timed me,

800
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 7: saying if you're gonna call me for, dinner then call

801
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 7: me when it's finished and stop wasting my, time which

802
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 7: was unusual because he is normally so calm and gentle with.

803
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,359
Speaker 7: ME i assumed it was because he was having a bad.

804
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,359
Speaker 7: Day the next, DAY i did what he. ASKED i

805
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 7: called him when dinner wasn't, ready but he didn't come,

806
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 7: out SO i thought maybe he was in the, bathroom

807
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 7: SO i texted him to.

808
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 2: Come out for. Dinner it. Said he read, it SO

809
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 2: i just started.

810
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 7: Eating fifteen minutes, passed AND i texted him, Again hey,

811
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 7: boyfriend no, rush but it's been fifteen. Minutes are you done?

812
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 7: Yet and again it was left on. Red thirty minutes

813
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,360
Speaker 7: PASS i, TEXTED i just. Finished i'm gonna start putting

814
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 7: away the food in about ten, minutes just to let you,

815
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 7: know and again he read. It after an, HOUR i gave,

816
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 7: up left his dish on the, table put away the,

817
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,800
Speaker 7: food then went to my. ROOM i lost track of

818
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,319
Speaker 7: time after. That maybe twenty minutes later he came. OUT

819
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 7: i heard a loud. Groan then he opened my door

820
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 7: and asked me WHY i wasn't sitting at the table

821
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 7: and where the food?

822
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 2: Was it was almost ten AND i was getting ready

823
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 2: to go to.

824
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 5: Sleep i'm sorry he expected you to sit at the

825
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 5: table for two.

826
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 2: Hours like a dog waiting for their owner to come.

827
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 2: Home in the.

828
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 5: Window IF i made dinner for someone and then they

829
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 5: didn't come out for two hours and then had the

830
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 5: audacity to be, like where's the? Food why aren't you

831
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 5: still at the? TABLE i would never make dinner for

832
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:34,760
Speaker 5: that person.

833
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 4: Ever.

834
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:40,280
Speaker 7: Again, yeah it's just it's blatantly, disrespectful so. DISRESPECTFUL i

835
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 7: asked him about the, text and he told me that,

836
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 7: yes he had read, them but thought that it wasn't done,

837
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 7: yet SINCE i never finished with cooking at the right.

838
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 7: Time the only time he had come too late or

839
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 7: too early was the day. Before all the other TIMES

840
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 7: i was there with dinner ready for. HIM i told him,

841
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 7: this and he just rolled his eyes at me and, said, oh, yeah,

842
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 7: well maybe next time you, should and then he started to.

843
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 2: MUMBLE i cannot with this guy reading this.

844
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 7: Part i'm laughing at how dumb it sounds, now but

845
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:14,800
Speaker 7: in that moment that was the most annoying manchild's stupid

846
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 7: thing anyone could ever. Do if he wanted to attack

847
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 7: me or make some clever, remark at least be.

848
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 2: Better he literally is so.

849
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 7: Weak if he could just finish one sentence about how

850
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 7: BAD i. Am if you're going to try to, gaslight

851
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 7: at least do it. Well if you're going to blame

852
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 7: me for your, actions at least make me think it's.

853
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:42,399
Speaker 7: True at least a little gaslight me. Better i'm at

854
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 7: my uncle's place trying to figure stuff. Out but he

855
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 7: has never been like this to me. Before he's always

856
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 7: been so, kind responsible and smart with decision. Making but

857
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 7: NOW i don't know what to think of. Him was

858
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 7: this him showing his real? Self why is he acting

859
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 7: like this towards? Me was he faking our whole? Relationship

860
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 7: is it all just? Fake it is our relationship all

861
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:04,240
Speaker 7: just a? LIE i just can't wrap my head around.

862
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 7: It has this happened to anyone? Else if, so what

863
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 7: was your next? Step did the relationship? Last thank you

864
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 7: for reading my whole. Ramble and there are, Comments and

865
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 7: FIRST i gotta say you say, like, oh he's never done.

866
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 5: This he, Wakes he makes you wait for dinner for

867
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 5: thirty minutes every, time the whole.

868
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:24,320
Speaker 7: Time you when you were texting him and he was

869
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 7: late to dinner and he wouldn't come down when you're,

870
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 7: like dinner's. Ready when you were making him, dinner he's

871
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,759
Speaker 7: probably just playing video.

872
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 5: Games, yeah that's not you, know he's always been like.

873
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,479
Speaker 5: That AND i also need to know what his job

874
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 5: is and what else he's doing around the, house because

875
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,240
Speaker 5: the fact that you're again working a twelve hour shift

876
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 5: and making dinner Crazy.

877
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 7: Comet, one your teenage son sounds like most teenage. Boys,

878
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 7: Honestly oh, wait this is a grown. Man, Girl what

879
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 7: are you? Doing, firstly why does he hold up in

880
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 7: his room? Constantly why do you have to text him

881
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 7: like a child to come? Eat do you have to

882
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,959
Speaker 7: cook dinner every single? Night, yes you're an er, World

883
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:07,439
Speaker 7: we are an er nurse working twelve hour. Shifts ditch this,

884
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 7: Loser please answer all of. Those comment two says you're

885
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 7: working twelve hour days and you have to worry about preparing.

886
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 7: Dinner why isn't he doing this since he's clearly already at. Home,

887
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 7: girl that man is a man. Child you honestly need

888
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 7: to be in a relationship with a grown. Up this

889
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,080
Speaker 7: guy is not a grown. Up see if you can

890
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 7: move in with a. Relative you need to leave this.

891
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 7: Relationship opie says he works a nine to five job

892
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 7: and has always said that he works at, home but

893
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 7: for three. Hours all of these comments are really like

894
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 7: opening my eyes to all of THIS bs that has

895
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 7: been happening to. Me comment three says it's wild that

896
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 7: you have separate rooms and you have to call him

897
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 7: to dinner like he's your teenage. Son what is happening?

898
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 7: Here this is not a. Relationship you're his mom and

899
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 7: he's a child having. TANTRUMS i can't even put into

900
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 7: words how ridiculous this. IS i guess if this is

901
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 7: the miserable life you, want then by all means go

902
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 7: home and there is an.

903
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 2: Update it doesn't look. Good oh, no let's get into.

904
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 7: It my boyfriend thirty two is getting kind of aggressive

905
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 7: with me with his.

906
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 2: Texting SHOULD i twenty six? Reply so it's.

907
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 7: Been over thirty minutes AND i really THINK i should

908
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 7: reply by. Now this is an update, post so if

909
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 7: you need the full, context please read my first. POST

910
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 7: i lied about the friend's house because he knows my uncle's.

911
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 7: ADDRESS i mentioned this in my first post because he

912
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,919
Speaker 7: is nothing like this for the past few, days he's

913
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 7: been acting strangely and it feels Like i'm talking to

914
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 7: a random person and not my.

915
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 2: Boyfriend this is also. CONFUSING i guess.

916
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 7: Now some of the people on my original post will

917
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 7: be happy to see there's an. UPDATE i THINK i

918
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 7: might come home, tomorrow BUT i don't know IF i

919
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 7: can mentally thank you for reading.

920
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 2: This SHOULD i? Reply those were?

921
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 3: Comments?

922
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 6: Right or is that the?

923
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 4: Update it's a lot of like there's timestamps and, stuff

924
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 4: and they're fully being, like, oh you took a whole

925
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 4: minute to text. Back it shouldn't take you that. Long

926
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 4: and within the same, minute hello are you ignoring? Me?

927
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 6: Hello why are you not answering me?

928
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 4: Anymore just like a lot of, LIKE i can't continue

929
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 4: with this if you're gonna ignore me within like a

930
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 4: five minute times, man that's and that's, yeah, yeah anybody doing.

931
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,880
Speaker 2: That and then her being like being a red. Flag,

932
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 2: no we're.

933
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 4: Being, sorry and then him, going if you apologize one more,

934
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 4: Time i'm gonna end this. Conversation what AM i supposed to?

935
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 7: Eat?

936
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 5: Then what your food that you make for? Yourself you little.

937
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 5: Toddler you can't make your Own what made you eating

938
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 5: whatever you?

939
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,839
Speaker 6: MAKE i don't. KNOW i have a, sandwich have some?

940
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:36,959
Speaker 5: CEREAL i don't?

941
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 6: Care, wait, SORRY i read. MORE i cannot.

942
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 3: COOK i thought you would remember that that you're my.

943
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 4: Girlfriend could you at least send me cash for Door?

944
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:49,360
Speaker 2: Dash what a pathetic? Loser your yeah, boyfriend.

945
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 6: Your your, girlfriend not your.

946
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 7: Mommy Comments comment number one, says oh you on your, Reply,

947
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,439
Speaker 7: YEAH i think it'd be a great idea if we broke.

948
00:45:58,520 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 2: Up.

949
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 7: Cool comment two says he's thirty two and he can't?

950
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 7: Cook what in the living F and there's another?

951
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 2: Update we broke? Up, yes yay huzzah.

952
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 7: Op he, SAYS i could go on forever about WHAT

953
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 7: i took and, broke but to keep it, SIMPLE i

954
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 7: took the entire, kitchen my, room and half of his.

955
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 7: ROOM i still can't decide If i'm, brave expressive and,

956
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 7: confident or still the pushover COWARD i Was for two.

957
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 7: YEARS i went from calling him a wiener inventing about

958
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 7: how terrible he, was to feeling sad and. PATHETIC i

959
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,439
Speaker 7: still don't understand WHY i feel LIKE i owe him

960
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 7: and WHY i keep blaming. Myself guilt is a nasty little.

961
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,320
Speaker 7: BUGGER i hate THAT i know, this YET i don't understand.

962
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 7: IT i see That i'm a, whimp BUT i can't feel.

963
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 7: IT i can't fully grasp that my feelings are. Valid

964
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 7: my family has been telling me not to blame, myself

965
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 7: but it's not that. EASY i don't know if going

966
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 7: On reddit was a dumb. Choice reading the comments didn't

967
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 7: make me feel. Better it just made me feel like an. Idiot,

968
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 7: however talking to the people WHO dm me made me

969
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 7: feel so. HEARD i want to apologize to everyone who

970
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 7: was hurt BECAUSE i didn't. Comment stop it stop it.

971
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 7: Is you don't owe anyone a reply to their internet.

972
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 7: Comments WHEN i went on read it a few hours after,

973
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 7: posting there were hundreds of, comments AND i just didn't

974
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 7: have the energy to reply to all of them and

975
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 7: said i'd read them WHEN i woke. Up WHEN i,

976
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 7: DID i saw thousands of comments AND i KNEW i

977
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 7: couldn't reply to all of. THEM i don't want anyone

978
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 7: to feel unheard or left out because of the many great.

979
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 7: COMMENTS i also want to say that one text thread

980
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 7: where they were drafting a breakup text for me that

981
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 7: was funny and it made me. Smile almost half of

982
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 7: the comments are just, saying, girl can you hear, yourself

983
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 7: AND i read every single, one yet it feels Like

984
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 7: i'm reading a different. LANGUAGE i don't understand why he's

985
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 7: considered a bad. Person i've read every comment and they've

986
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 7: all registered in my mind that he's a bad, person

987
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 7: BUT i still can't believe. IT i can come plain

988
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 7: about him and say he's a, wiena BUT i can't

989
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 7: truly believe.

990
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 2: IT, ii he is a.

991
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 5: WEENA i just can't figure it.

992
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 7: Out but you did because you, Left, yeah and you

993
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 7: took your. Stuff you, left you figured it.

994
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 5: OUT i never met, him but your boyfriend sounds like

995
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 5: a piece of.

996
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,720
Speaker 7: WOR i could go on about HOW i don't understand,

997
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,760
Speaker 7: this but it's so foreign to. Me i'm so frustrated

998
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 7: THAT i don't see the world the way the commenters.

999
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 7: Do why CAN'T i see what they? SEE i read

1000
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 7: the messages and. REPLIES i see their, point BUT i

1001
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 7: just can't understand. It i've been Saying i've been staying

1002
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:36,720
Speaker 7: at my uncle's. PLACE i hate, therapy BUT i GUESS

1003
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 7: i need.

1004
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 4: It.

1005
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 7: Now i'll be restocking on wine and Replaying. Hamilton thank

1006
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 7: you for all the support and, criticism And, NICK i

1007
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 7: am so, very extremely.

1008
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 2: Sorry stop, It, Nick stop the?

1009
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 6: Boyfriend is?

1010
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 8: That?

1011
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:52,839
Speaker 2: Yeah is that the editor?

1012
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:53,240
Speaker 6: Boyfriend?

1013
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 2: Stop this guy's got you so messed.

1014
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 7: Up that's why you can't understand this is because he

1015
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,280
Speaker 7: has has tricked.

1016
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 6: You he has.

1017
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:06,439
Speaker 7: Brainwashed you to feel like you are the only one

1018
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 7: responsible for any element of the.

1019
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 5: Relationship, YEAH i mean the fact that you were freaking

1020
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 5: making him dinner every night when you had a twelve hour.

1021
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:17,359
Speaker 6: Shift he's.

1022
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 5: Crazy it also doesn't even seem like he was washing

1023
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 5: dishites or.

1024
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 2: Anything and that's the end of this. Story we're gonna

1025
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 2: go on to the next. One, Hey john og, Host

1026
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 2: we're gonna get back to the. Stories but a quick

1027
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 2: three minute break of ads from our.

1028
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 8: Sponsors my cousin's wives accused me of stealing their, husbands

1029
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 8: SO i told them to.

1030
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 2: Leave MAYBE i, Did MAYBE i.

1031
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 8: DIDN'T i twenty eight female come from a very religious.

1032
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 8: Community my parents immigrated to our country as, refugees and

1033
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 8: the only family they had nearby were distant, relatives but

1034
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 8: they became close and built their own. Community there were

1035
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 8: originally seven sets of aunts and uncles and their many.

1036
00:49:56,280 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 8: Kids it's a, huge huge, family big old. Family this

1037
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 8: started BEFORE i was, born so it's been going on

1038
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 8: for thirty plus. Years by the, way this comes from

1039
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 8: a user Seven koi in a trench Coat and if

1040
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 8: you want submit your own, stories go to the our

1041
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 8: Slash okay story time suppered. It I'm, Keon I'm, Angie I'm,

1042
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 8: carly and we're here to give good advice, goofly but

1043
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 8: we don't have all the. Answers we only know what we'd,

1044
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 8: do so please let us know what you'd do in the,

1045
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 8: comments op says we all grew up extremely. Close some

1046
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 8: of us were born months apart because of our moms

1047
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 8: planning their pregnancies all. Together we range from thirty three

1048
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 8: to seventeen in our current, group plus younger siblings and.

1049
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 8: Kids our parents raised us like. Siblings they drove us

1050
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,760
Speaker 8: to school, together enrolled us into the same religious, classes vacation,

1051
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 8: together and rotated. Childcare they even moved in the same

1052
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 8: neighborhood so no house was more than ten minutes. Away

1053
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 8: some parents breastfed each other's. Kids, wow, Okay and In

1054
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,360
Speaker 8: islam that makes you milk, siblings which means you can't

1055
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 8: marry each other and have relaxed modesty. Boundaries so even

1056
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 8: though most of us aren't biologically that close we are.

1057
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 8: Family none of us would ever see each other roman,

1058
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 8: antically and our parents treat us like siblings. Too as

1059
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 8: adults were still. Inseparable we go on, holidays hang out after,

1060
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 8: work and have regular game. Nights the cousins with kids

1061
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 8: share babysitting. Duties our dynamic is extremely tight. Knit we

1062
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 8: all have silly nicknames from childhood that just. Stuck for,

1063
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 8: Example wawa for a cousin Named. Aurora it sounds, dumb

1064
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 8: but calling each other by real names now feels cold and.

1065
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 8: Rude usually only family uses these, names though spouses eventually

1066
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 8: pick them up. Too until, recently no one had an

1067
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 8: issue with this. Setup but two of my cousins twenty

1068
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 8: nine male and twenty eight, male recently got married and

1069
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 8: their wives twenty seven female and twenty eight, female have

1070
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,800
Speaker 8: joined our gatherings like game, knights, barbecues and kids. PARTIES

1071
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 8: a lot of these happen at my house or my parents'

1072
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 8: house BECAUSE i love. Hosting as a single woman who

1073
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 8: lives alone in a big, House i've always got space

1074
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,760
Speaker 8: and it's just easier for the. Family from the, start

1075
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,239
Speaker 8: both wives seem to have an attitude towards some of

1076
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 8: us especially. ME i originally thought it was because they

1077
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 8: didn't know me, well as i'd get busy as the.

1078
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,360
Speaker 8: Hostess but it might also be Because i'm friendly and

1079
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,439
Speaker 8: share a lot of hobbies and professional interests with those.

1080
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,320
Speaker 8: Cousins we talk often and they're over at my place.

1081
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,959
Speaker 8: OFTEN i guess that ribbed the wives the wrong. Way Last,

1082
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 8: SATURDAY i hosted an impromptu pizza knight BECAUSE i just

1083
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 8: bought pizza. Oven cute pizza knights are very.

1084
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 3: Fun that sounds like.

1085
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:22,759
Speaker 8: Fun since Pizza knight wasn't, planned only about half the

1086
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,439
Speaker 8: cousins could make. It the two cousins and their wives came.

1087
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:27,919
Speaker 8: Early after hanging out for a, bit the guys left

1088
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,919
Speaker 8: to grab, donuts leaving me the two, wives and two

1089
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 8: younger female cousins at my. Place we were chatting in

1090
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 8: the kitchen WHILE i prepped toppings when things suddenly turned.

1091
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 2: Nasty, bro what the freak does that?

1092
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:46,600
Speaker 8: Mean? Nasty the wives started asking pointed questions about my relationship,

1093
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 8: status mocking me for putting more effort into family than.

1094
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 8: Dating one almost called me a witch in our own

1095
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 8: language for not wearing a headscarf around the guys wearing revealing.

1096
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 8: Dresses and trying to steal their.

1097
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 2: Men oh you're. Jealous oh, oh so you're calling me.

1098
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 2: Hot oh, wow you're just a little.

1099
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 8: Jelly you want some peanut butter with that?

1100
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:09,280
Speaker 2: Jelly?

1101
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 8: Huh then they started picking apart everything my, dress, body, house.

1102
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 8: Hobbies they even called me a pick me for liking

1103
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,360
Speaker 8: things like gaming and. Robotics it was a full on

1104
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 8: tag team insult. SESSION i was so SHOCKED i just

1105
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:27,720
Speaker 8: stared at, them and my younger cousins were too stunned

1106
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 8: to say. Anything, EVENTUALLY i stood up and told them

1107
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 8: to get out of my. House they looked at me

1108
00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 8: LIKE i was. Insane it was raining and their husbands

1109
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 8: had the. Car BUT i told them calmly but coldly

1110
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 8: leave BEFORE i drag you out. MYSELF i opened the,

1111
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 8: door pointed outside and told them to get off my.

1112
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 8: Property they finally, left AND i locked the, door turned

1113
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 8: off the porch. Light, YES i was being, petty and

1114
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 8: just stood there shaking with. Anger my cousins comforted me

1115
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:57,840
Speaker 8: and texted their brothers to explain what. Happened apparently the

1116
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 8: wives were mad THAT i used childhood nickname for their

1117
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 8: husbands names they weren't allowed to.

1118
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,240
Speaker 2: Use they were.

1119
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 8: Also mad THAT i spent too much time with the

1120
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 8: cousins and talk to them. Often they completely ignore the

1121
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 8: fact that they could have joined us any. TIME i

1122
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,399
Speaker 8: even lent one cousin my switch so he could try

1123
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:17,320
Speaker 8: to get his wife into. Gaming but apparently everything about

1124
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 8: me just irritated.

1125
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 2: Them you're just better.

1126
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 8: Now i'm wondering If i'm THE a. HOLE i can

1127
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 8: see how my closest to my cousins might make their wives,

1128
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 8: uncomfortable and MAYBE i should have been more aware of,

1129
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 8: That BUT i still feel LIKE i was justified in

1130
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 8: kicking them out after they insulted me in my own.

1131
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 8: HOME i feel like this whole thing could have been

1132
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 8: avoided if they communicated with either me or their. Husbands

1133
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 8: i'll be, Honest i'm not sure If i'd want to

1134
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 8: put boundaries between me and the boys if the wives,

1135
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 8: ask that might make me THE a hole, Too so

1136
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:47,480
Speaker 8: AM i they ale for kicking them out into the

1137
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,319
Speaker 8: rainy night after they accused me of trying to steal my,

1138
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 8: cousins WHO i see as almost as my. Brothers and

1139
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 8: we have an. UPDATE mangi let's say.

1140
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 10: YOU i, MEAN i think you know what your answer.

1141
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 10: IS i feel like you know that you're definitely not

1142
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:03,839
Speaker 10: the a hole for that at.

1143
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 8: All, no no crazy to start making fun of me

1144
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 8: in every aspect and just calling me out in my

1145
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 8: own home for pizza.

1146
00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 2: Night but but it was.

1147
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 10: Like so many different things that came out of. Nowhere

1148
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 10: like it wasn't even LIKE op did something different that

1149
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 10: like brought up an insult each. Time it was like

1150
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 10: one thing happened and then they just started saying all this. Stuff,

1151
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 10: WELL i GUESS i guess it might not have.

1152
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 8: You know, what we let the flood gates open a little,

1153
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 8: bit you might as well just let it all. Out we're, cool,

1154
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 8: Right we're gonna make, Pizza we're gonna make barbacae. Chicken,

1155
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,239
Speaker 8: yeah oh, out why would you do?

1156
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 4: That?

1157
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:40,280
Speaker 6: No definitely.

1158
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 10: Not they insulted, you and it's not like you them

1159
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 10: out because you are trying to steal their husbands and you're,

1160
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 10: like how dare you get onto my evil?

1161
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 6: Plan they were being mean to.

1162
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:49,920
Speaker 2: You but we have an.

1163
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 8: Update so AFTER i punted out my cousin's wives that,

1164
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 8: night everything turned into a. Blur my other cousins were

1165
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 8: texting and calling their brothers WHILE i just stood there

1166
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 8: trying to process what. Happened from WHAT i understand, now

1167
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 8: the wives didn't like how CLOSE i was with their,

1168
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 8: husbands the childhood, nicknames or that the guys were often

1169
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:10,279
Speaker 8: at my house after. Work to be, fair they were

1170
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:12,840
Speaker 8: over a, lot at least twice a. Week and, YES

1171
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 8: i don't dress modestly by our community. Standards When i'm,

1172
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 8: HOME i wear short. Dresses you could call an almost

1173
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 8: knee length dress. Short but to, me these men are

1174
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 8: basically my. Brothers we grew up, together and modesty rules

1175
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 8: are different between. Family the guys picked their wives up

1176
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,320
Speaker 8: about ten to fifteen minutes. Later they didn't come inside

1177
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 8: or speak to. Me they didn't respond to my messages

1178
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 8: that night or the next, day and the wives blocked

1179
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 8: me on social. Media from What i've been told, since

1180
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 8: the cousins think their wives cross the, line but they're

1181
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 8: still siding with them and have cut or reduce contact with.

1182
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:48,239
Speaker 2: Me, no, well that's so. Sad, yeah that.

1183
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 8: Sucks this, MORNING i went to my parents' house trying

1184
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:52,840
Speaker 8: to pretend everything was.

1185
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 2: Normal big.

1186
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 8: Mistake it turns out everyone had been talking about me

1187
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 8: behind my. Back my mom barely looked at, me my

1188
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 8: dad didn't speak to me at all when my mom

1189
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 8: finally did. Talk she told me that all the parents

1190
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 8: have been on the phone. NonStop apparently everyone thinks so

1191
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 8: wise behavior was, excusable especially because one of, them twenty seven,

1192
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 8: female just announced she's two months. Pregnant that's something to

1193
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 8: soften the. Blow, yeah, right it's probably one of the

1194
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 8: first like babies out of this age group or demographic

1195
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 8: for the. Kids, yeah in this community or this.

1196
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 10: Family that just like sucks so much, though because if

1197
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 10: their ideas that, like, oh well she's, pregnant like we're

1198
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 10: supposed to all be so connected right now and be

1199
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 10: together as a, Family it's, like, okay WELL i, WAS i,

1200
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 10: was and then they just like we're saying all these

1201
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 10: insults were based on, nothing and now everyone's against.

1202
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 2: Me but you had two.

1203
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 8: Witnesses you had your two younger, cousins like the two

1204
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 8: other cousins were in the house and they witnessed, that

1205
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:49,200
Speaker 8: and they're the ones who messaged their.

1206
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 10: Brothers it's so hard because it's like the brothers they

1207
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 10: understand and they know O.

1208
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 5: P but they just want to be like a Good

1209
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 5: husband's the.

1210
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 8: Thing and the fact that this was sprung upon you

1211
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 8: like a trap that you walked in there and like

1212
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 8: no one reached out to. You, yeah your cousin's aka

1213
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,520
Speaker 8: your brothers in this sense didn't respond to you and

1214
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 8: they talk behind your.

1215
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 2: Back is.

1216
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 8: Insane Now i'm being called cruel for throwing a pregnant

1217
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 8: woman out in the, rain while her insults towards me

1218
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 8: are being excused as pregnancy. Hormones her husband isn't mad at,

1219
00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 8: her and her in laws are defending her because it's

1220
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 8: their first. Grandchild of, course they're even pushing to have

1221
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 8: me excluded from family events for her. Comfort she needs

1222
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,560
Speaker 8: to be comfortable because otherwise she can move back to

1223
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:36,520
Speaker 8: her parents' state with the. Baby the second wife's behavior

1224
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 8: is also being brushed. Off, Somehow i'm now the suspicious

1225
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 8: one because the guy spent so much time with. Me

1226
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 8: people are whispering THAT i must have been sleeping with.

1227
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 8: Them even though both cousins denied, it everyone assumes one

1228
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 8: of them must be, lying or both of. THEM i

1229
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 8: genuinely didn't consider the effects their accusations would have in my.

1230
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 8: Culture accusations like this destroys a woman's reputation and her

1231
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 8: famili's my own family. Things i've ruined my honor as

1232
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 8: a woman my parents' aunts and uncles are demanding THAT

1233
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 8: i prove my virginity IF i want to be accepted

1234
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:11,960
Speaker 8: into the. Family, again what what ew? Okay IF i

1235
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 8: agreed to, it it would probably be done In Saudi

1236
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 8: arabia Or. GUITAR a gynecologist would be the one doing.

1237
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 8: IT i know they do virginity certificates, there But i'm

1238
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,920
Speaker 8: not a. VIRGIN i never told anyone in my family

1239
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 8: for some privacy. REASONS i think IF i do agree to,

1240
00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 8: it maybe there might be a CHANCE i could still pass,

1241
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 8: it or my failure could be attributed to my documented

1242
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 8: history of horse riding SINCE i was. SEVEN i feel

1243
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 8: sick just thinking about, it to be, honest BUT i

1244
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 8: don't know IF i have any other. CHOICE i don't

1245
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 8: want to lose my. Family IF i choose a. Doctor

1246
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 8: MAYBE i can choose a nice one who would listen

1247
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:47,560
Speaker 8: to me and certify me as a virgin without having

1248
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:50,080
Speaker 8: to do a, test or regardless of what the test.

1249
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 8: Shows IF i don't agree to the virginity, TESTING i

1250
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 8: will have to marry one of these uncles brothers in

1251
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 8: a different country and stay there until my cousin's wives

1252
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:02,440
Speaker 8: are comfortable with me coming, back so probably. Never this

1253
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:04,840
Speaker 8: man is in his, fifties but would do me the

1254
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 8: favor of marrying me even If i'm already, Pregnant i'd

1255
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 8: be his third. Wife i'd rather live in the, exile.

1256
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 8: Thanks and you can't get pregnant from not having spicy.

1257
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 8: Sleep there's no. Chance and, Heck i'm. Pregnant one of my,

1258
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 8: cousins not the one with the pregnant, wife called me

1259
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 8: from his office. Today he wants to come by tomorrow

1260
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 8: after lunch to talk. PRIVATELY i miss, him But i'm

1261
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:28,320
Speaker 8: also scared of becoming his dirty little. Secret he hides

1262
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 8: from his wife and the. Family she'll probably assume he's at,

1263
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 8: work AND i doubt he'll tell. HER i don't know

1264
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 8: there's anything he could. Say, honestly if he forgives her

1265
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 8: and lets her get away with it, All i'll never forgive.

1266
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 2: Him i've made an.

1267
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 8: Emergency therapy appointment Because i'm beyond. Overwhelmed my parents aren't

1268
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:44,919
Speaker 8: taking my hesitation at the virginity test as a good.

1269
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 8: Sign the man they want me to marry is in guitar,

1270
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 8: too So i'm extremely cautious about traveling there with my,

1271
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 8: family especially my. Uncles i'm. Speechless the fact that you

1272
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 8: had witnesses and still everyone is against. You, yeah because

1273
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 8: it's just like, that by the, Way, yeah just like.

1274
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 10: That it's, crazy and it's also frustrating because it's, like

1275
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 10: this is your, Family so these are the ones that

1276
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 10: know your relationship growing up because they're part of that

1277
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 10: kind of joined family that you guys.

1278
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 5: Had so it's like they know your guys's.

1279
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:16,240
Speaker 10: Relationship they know, that, like, yeah you're just kind of,

1280
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 10: Comfortable like they've probably been in the same room when

1281
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 10: you're comfortable and like less modest around them and. Stuff

1282
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 10: so it's like it's so frustrating that they know all

1283
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 10: of that and they probably have seen and experienced, that

1284
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 10: but because of these, accusations now they're believing that all

1285
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 10: of those hints are for.

1286
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 6: Cheating it's like.

1287
01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 8: What i'n't, Seen, yeah let's go ahead and finish up the.

1288
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 8: STORY i hate that this has become my. LIFE i

1289
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 8: KNOW i didn't handle everything, perfectly BUT i never imagined

1290
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,840
Speaker 8: it would turn into. THIS i gave them an out

1291
01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 8: to look like the victims and accidentally legitimize their claims

1292
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 8: about me and their. Insults i'm safe at my own

1293
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 8: home for. NOW i have a stable, job, savings AND

1294
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 8: i have access to. Therapy but still it's gut wrenching

1295
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 8: to realize that People i've loved all my life leave

1296
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 8: two women they've known for barely a year over, me.

1297
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:04,280
Speaker 2: And that's the end of that. Story