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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. But before that, we get a teeny two

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Speaker 1: minute break from the sponsors that keep this show propped

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Speaker 1: up like a little house. Oh yeah, my.

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Speaker 2: Wife can't stop throwing away our stuff. I'm getting tired

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Speaker 2: of it.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like you're about to move into a van.

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Speaker 2: My wife channels Marie Kondo and throws out things that

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Speaker 2: she doesn't like when she goes on her cleaning spreeze.

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Speaker 2: The problem is that she will throw things that are

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Speaker 2: important to me or would be used by our daughter

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Speaker 2: a three female if offered. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from Throwaway Soul and saffok and if you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay

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Speaker 2: storytime supreddit.

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Speaker 1: This is the opposite of an order.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just like tossed toss.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, not that mad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I would do this when I was really little.

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Speaker 2: I would like, just like toss a bunch of things.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I have to get rid of stuff anyway,

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Speaker 2: among other things. This is very frustrating because I have

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Speaker 2: had to rebuy and anything. I discovered that she did

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Speaker 2: this early in our relationship after a few too many

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Speaker 2: things were disappearing. Since then, I have practically begged her

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Speaker 2: to talk to me before throwing out things, like putting

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Speaker 2: them in a box for me to go through or

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Speaker 2: something like that. Instead, she will throw things away and

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Speaker 2: lie to me that she did not throw anything away.

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Speaker 2: When I go through the trash and find all the

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Speaker 2: things she threw away, she'll tell me she doesn't think

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Speaker 2: they mattered, and so they didn't count in my situation.

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Speaker 2: It was just my stuff, not other people's.

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Speaker 1: Why not matter to you? That's my PlayStation five man.

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Speaker 2: One man's trash is another man's treasure. Haven't you ever

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Speaker 2: heard of that? Each time this happens, I've told her

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Speaker 2: how bad this makes me feel, and how it feels

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Speaker 2: disrespectful and controlling to make these decisions about our things

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Speaker 2: without discussing it with me first. This is something I've

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Speaker 2: made very very clear how much this upsets me to

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Speaker 2: not have autonomy over my own possessions. She doesn't these

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Speaker 2: purges terribly often, I'd say only a few times a year.

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Speaker 2: I'm definitely messier than her and probably keep things that

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Speaker 2: I don't really need, but I'm a team player follow

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Speaker 2: her lead about how she likes the house and far

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Speaker 2: from a hoarder. If she puts things in a trash

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Speaker 2: bag that she wanted to get rid of, I would

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Speaker 2: acquiesce to throwing out most of it.

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Speaker 1: Honeybee says, she has OCD.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking. That's a possibility. Uh, But I

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Speaker 2: feel like a really easy solution is that she puts

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Speaker 2: all the things that she wants to get rid of

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Speaker 2: and then just says, hey, look look through all of this.

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Speaker 2: Is there anything you want to keep?

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Speaker 1: But it probably bothers her to have it in a

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Speaker 1: box and seeing it all unorganized, like I must get

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Speaker 1: it the way. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying, like, right before she throws it out,

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Speaker 2: she's like, go check.

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Speaker 1: I see.

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Speaker 2: We otherwise have a very good and close relationship and

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Speaker 2: I love her deeply. Yesterday she cleaned up the house again,

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Speaker 2: promising that she didn't throw anything away. For some reason,

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Speaker 2: I believed her this time and just so happened to

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Speaker 2: notice bags of things she was throwing out when I

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Speaker 2: was taking out the trash. It included toys that our

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Speaker 2: daughter might like, but she's too young for what is

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Speaker 2: It included something I made for our daughter that she

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Speaker 2: loves and is very important to me. She threw away

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Speaker 2: disposable things that I would have had to buy again.

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Speaker 2: She threw away some of my clothes that I wear

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Speaker 2: regularly that she doesn't like but knows I don't want

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Speaker 2: to get rid of.

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Speaker 1: What if hers is she getting rid of?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it took me a long time to dig through

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Speaker 2: the trash and return these things to their response. Internally,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm losing my mind. It's not the stuff,

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Speaker 2: it's the trust. She knows how I feel about this,

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Speaker 2: did it anyway and covered it up by lying again.

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Speaker 2: This is probably going to come across as melodramatic, but

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Speaker 2: it feels like a betrayal and violation of the trust

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Speaker 2: and faith I put in her, Almost equivalent to finding

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Speaker 2: out she was cheating on me.

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Speaker 3: Well, well, I don't know if that's really equivale.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's not equivalent, but I do understand that

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Speaker 2: OPI's saying like she's lying to me. Asked her not

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Speaker 2: to do this, she said, she promised she wouldn't, and

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Speaker 2: then did it anyway. She's not cheating.

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Speaker 1: You didn't cheat on once. Let's see getting kissed that

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Speaker 1: at a club versus all I feel like every every

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Speaker 1: item getting thrown away, it stacks up over a period

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Speaker 1: of time, Like every item will say, like getting kissed

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Speaker 1: out of the club is a hundred points, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then every item being thrown away is like half a

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Speaker 1: point at a time adds up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Not that it's the same degree or equivalent, but

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Speaker 2: I have similar feelings of violation and loss of trust

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Speaker 2: of the type that I felt when I've been cheated

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Speaker 2: on before. Okay, so he's like, I'm coming with the receipts.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because one, you have to buy this stuff. And

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Speaker 1: we just read a story where this guy spent like

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Speaker 1: three hundred thousand dollars and the girl was like, it's

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Speaker 1: probably better off that he cheated on me than did this,

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Speaker 1: because I mean, money is protecting in a way, because

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Speaker 1: he's protecting your future. So if you're always having to

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Speaker 1: buy stuff, like it's frustrating.

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Speaker 2: And also just like the emotional kind of ties that

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Speaker 2: you have two objects, like if people you know, if

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Speaker 2: someone took any of my books away, because people place

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Speaker 2: less value on like my books than obviously I do.

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Speaker 1: And she gets one book pool I have never gotten.

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Speaker 1: One of my friends dropped.

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Speaker 2: I lent her a book and she accidentally dropped it

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Speaker 2: in a pool, and I have never loaned out my

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Speaker 2: books ever. Again. Recently, I was like, maybe I should

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Speaker 2: trust again because someone asked to borrow book and I

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Speaker 2: was like, okay. She returned it and it was a

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Speaker 2: little bit banged.

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Speaker 1: Up and it was kind of rit is it who

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Speaker 1: I think it is?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: And I was, what is a little bit banged up?

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Speaker 2: Like a terror? I have no on the cover? See

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Speaker 2: this is why, this is why I feel a piece

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Speaker 2: of pain, because you guys are like, that's so silly,

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Speaker 2: but I'm like, my books are in pristine condition.

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Speaker 1: Dang it's it's like you can't even buy a new

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Speaker 1: one if it really is.

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Speaker 2: No, Because I have emotional attachments to my books, I

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Speaker 2: have so many thoughts away me too. Talking to my

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Speaker 2: wife about this has not been effective at all. I'm

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Speaker 2: having difficulty getting over the perceived betrayal of my trust.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea what to do to move past

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Speaker 2: this and regain the trust and closeness that I feel

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Speaker 2: was lost. Edit. What a response. Thank you all for

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Speaker 2: affirming my feelings about this. I respect and appreciate the comments,

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Speaker 2: even if I think many are too harsh on my wife.

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Speaker 2: While I agree her behavior shows a fundamental lack of

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Speaker 2: respect for me and my autonomy. You all can't know

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Speaker 2: what happens ninety nine point nine percent of the rest

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Speaker 2: of the year. For clarification, some of the things she

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Speaker 2: throws out good qualify as clutter, though I would say

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Speaker 2: most of it is stuff that is where it is

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Speaker 2: supposed to be. Edit too. She is not throwing away

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Speaker 2: things that are obviously valuable, like a game console or

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Speaker 2: something like that, which I think one of you guys

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Speaker 2: made a joke about that. I can generally understand the

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Speaker 2: logic for throwing away the things that she does. Some

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Speaker 2: of the things she throws away, I really think she

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Speaker 2: should know better, though unused packages of CBD gummies ooh

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Speaker 2: those are those could be pricey? Right, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know either to GOODA.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I guess, come on, you know with CBD gummies.

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Speaker 3: I don't buy those, but you know, do you know

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Speaker 3: how much they are?

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Speaker 2: I mean, like I know, partially full container of kerosene,

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Speaker 2: containers of super glue. Edit three. To reiterate, this isn't

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Speaker 2: a messiness thing, well at least not completely. I recognize

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Speaker 2: that I am messier than her and have to put

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Speaker 2: in a special effort. Pause. Everyone, we're finding out how

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Speaker 2: much CBD Christian?

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Speaker 1: How much is like a package of CBD gummies that

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Speaker 1: you buy? Oh wow, thank you? How many are how

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Speaker 1: many are there might be less? How many are there

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Speaker 1: in the thirty dollars ones? A lot depends on the dosage.

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Speaker 1: Oh why, it's like ten? Okay, it's like ten, and

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Speaker 1: each one has ten milli grands? And then how many

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Speaker 1: are in there?

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Speaker 3: What? Ten?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Thank you? Thank you? Okay, so thirty bucks for

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Speaker 1: ten of a doss two?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So that's yeah, that's pretty.

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Speaker 3: You guys are focusing on the money scummies. I'm focusing

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Speaker 3: on who throws away super glue?

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Speaker 2: That's also true.

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Speaker 1: Who has suit? Won't? Everybody has a tube of super

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Speaker 1: glue somewhere? I do?

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Speaker 3: I have?

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Speaker 1: Who has subscrap book?

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Speaker 2: But I'm not a slob or a hoarder or anything

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Speaker 2: else that might provide some justification for throwing away things.

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Speaker 2: She isn't throwing away things I leave out. She's throwing

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Speaker 2: away things that she doesn't think I need. Most of

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Speaker 2: the things she throws away are in their appropriate spot

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Speaker 2: when they are thrown out. Edit for she doesn't actually

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Speaker 2: watch Marie Kondo. That was just me explaining that she

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Speaker 2: likes to get rid of clutter by getting rid of

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Speaker 2: things that take up space. And there is an update.

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Speaker 2: But but do you have any thoughts before we get

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Speaker 2: into the update about what ope he can do?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Like we say all the time, communicate. So I think

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Speaker 1: your wife has one train of thought, you have another

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Speaker 1: train of thought, and these train of thoughts need to correlate.

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Speaker 2: I think we Yeah, I think we just need to

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Speaker 2: find a middle ground. I think you need to go

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Speaker 2: to her, which you happen You've been saying, hey, please

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Speaker 2: stop doing this, but I think we need to.

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Speaker 1: Say, like, what's the why?

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, why do you feel the need to you know,

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Speaker 2: do this without consulting me? And then maybe the maybe

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Speaker 2: the compromise is, Okay, you can collect all the things

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Speaker 2: that you think we need to get rid of, but

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Speaker 2: I'm let me look through, let me double check that

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Speaker 2: isn't anything that I'm still using or have an attachment to.

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Speaker 1: Amy lind says therapy for both I.

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Speaker 2: Wouldn't, Yeah, I would say so I could. I would

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Speaker 2: say some couple's therapy. Yeah, because that's really frustrating to

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Speaker 2: have like you know, he said, it was there was

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Speaker 2: a sentimental item in here for you know that he

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Speaker 2: he gave to his daughter. You know, she might not

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Speaker 2: be thrown out things that are expensive, but she's throwing

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Speaker 2: out things that are priceless.

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Speaker 3: It's the why for me, Like Riley said, it's like

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Speaker 3: I think maybe you know, op he said something about

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Speaker 3: like communication hasn't worked, but I feel like maybe it's

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Speaker 3: the method of communication.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 3: Maybe instead of being like, hey, don't do this, or

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Speaker 3: why are you doing this? Or I don't like you

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Speaker 3: doing this, you should be like, hey, how are you

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Speaker 3: feeling right before you think you need to do this? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: what's happening to you that makes you go all right,

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Speaker 3: this stuff's gone.

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Speaker 2: All that's gone now, which a lot of people are

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Speaker 2: saying OCD, which that like is a you know possibility, right. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but let's get into this backwards update. She has been

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Speaker 2: extra sweet to me since the day before yesterday, clearly

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Speaker 2: knowing that I was upset with her. I talked with

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Speaker 2: her last night. I had written her a letter which

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Speaker 2: I wrote expressing how I felt to make sure my

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Speaker 2: feelings were clearly and seriously expressed. Fascinated and handing it

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Speaker 2: to her, and she saw how distraught I was and

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Speaker 2: instigated a conversation before I handed it to her. She

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Speaker 2: seemed to believe what upset me was that she had

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Speaker 2: taken away a desk and pushed all of my things

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Speaker 2: to a smaller desk. She took away a desk, a

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Speaker 2: whole desk.

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Speaker 1: What is going on?

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Speaker 2: M taking away the area for me to do my

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Speaker 2: art there? To make more room for our child's things.

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Speaker 2: She took away your desk.

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Speaker 1: And then she made room for your child's things that

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Speaker 1: she's actively throwing away. What is she making room for? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Also, I believe Op's a woman. Yeah, I don't know

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Speaker 2: if we've been referring to.

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Speaker 1: She was a woman.

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Speaker 2: I think so.

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Speaker 3: Kean bought Yes, she MF F guy. That's just the

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Speaker 3: best gender neutral way to refer to anybody.

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Speaker 1: No, is OPI a male female?

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Speaker 3: I believe Yes, it's it's uh female amale to famalas a.

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Speaker 1: Sorry if we have been misgender OP this whole time

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Speaker 1: and we are now taking accountability and from fourth as

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Speaker 1: we go for during Sorry, it's just it's just one letter.

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Speaker 1: We just don't see.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and usually it's well it wasn't it wasn't in

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Speaker 2: the story, but it wasn't the.

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Speaker 1: Username got it all right, So this makes me think

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Speaker 1: he's building tunnel below her house and is making room

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Speaker 1: for all the debris from the tunnel because she cannot.

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Speaker 2: She can getting a freaking real answer.

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Speaker 3: Though, because I know exactly what he's talking about, because.

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Speaker 1: You cannot rent a big garbage container for more than

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Speaker 1: two weeks out of time without people asking questions. So, uh,

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Speaker 1: she's probably finding what He's hide all the rock debris

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Speaker 1: in her house for everyone out of the loopes.

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Speaker 3: He's referencing like a TikTok creator who's building a random

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Speaker 3: like cave under her house.

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Speaker 1: And she's an engineer and she's documenting the whole process.

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Speaker 2: So that's cool.

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Speaker 1: It's not cool because she doesn't have any like per

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Speaker 1: city permits. Are like, that's not cool. No, she does, No,

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Speaker 1: she does.

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Speaker 2: You should not be doing that. They're also probably it's

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Speaker 2: probably illegal.

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Speaker 1: Dude, Yeah, and engine what are we talking about.

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Speaker 3: I hope she's got permits and it's probably illegal because

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Speaker 3: there are many tunnels underneath all of the city substructs.

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Speaker 3: So that's why the government doesn't want you to know.

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Speaker 3: The government doesn't want you to find the lizard tunnels.

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Speaker 3: You know, I actually sorry, I am going on more

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Speaker 3: side tangent about this. You know the device that they

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Speaker 3: used to see if the pyramids had tunnels. I just

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Speaker 3: want to use that on major cities to see if

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Speaker 3: there are any other tunnels below it. Probably Why can't

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Speaker 3: we just do it there?

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Speaker 2: You know, there's probably tons of tunnels. I know, there's

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Speaker 2: like tons of you know, like subway stations that like

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Speaker 2: like in New York, how they have subway station.

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Speaker 1: You don't think there's any other tunnels other than subway stations.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm saying there probably are that are no longer

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Speaker 2: are in use. But that's just like cityl thing.

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Speaker 1: I asked Sophia the other week, Hey, if I gave

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Speaker 1: you a nine to eleven uh PowerPoint, would you listen

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Speaker 1: to me? And she said yes, Okay. I said, if

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Speaker 1: I can create my own, yeah, yeah. So we're both

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Speaker 1: gonna make nine to eleven things. So, first of all,

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Speaker 1: the portion nine eleven correct, is one of the best.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I'm not like super happy about that. I told

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Speaker 2: her that wasn't what was bothering me. I explained how

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Speaker 2: it hurt me that she knew that I don't like

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Speaker 2: her throwing out with things away, and she did it

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Speaker 2: again anyway. I explained how she'd thrown away arts and

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Speaker 2: other things that really upset me, which is a great

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Speaker 2: point because a piece an artist, and like for someone

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Speaker 2: to throw away a person's creations is really missed up.

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Speaker 2: She told me that she hadn't realized that, for example,

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Speaker 2: the chessboard that I had made was not a piece

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Speaker 2: of junk because she only saw the underside of it.

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Speaker 2: This is an epoxy chess board that I spent many

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Speaker 2: hours painting and preparing. A lot of art, depending on

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Speaker 2: people's medium, can look kind of like junk to some people.

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Speaker 2: Did you kid just throw it away?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I know this one person I used to live

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Speaker 1: with or and like they would like they would just

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Speaker 1: get together with their friends and just like say these

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Speaker 1: things in a group setting over and over and over,

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Speaker 1: and it was like kind of see my garbage. But

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Speaker 1: then they like hosted people at this event thing and

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Speaker 1: then did it in front of people. It was actually great.

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Speaker 2: I was trying to figure out how this was related

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Speaker 2: to me.

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Speaker 1: It is because your group would be saying, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: ah there, I go, wow.

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Speaker 2: It's a little bent. It is gorgeous in the time

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Speaker 2: I put into it shows. I told her that she

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Speaker 2: shouldn't even be making those judgment calls because she keeps

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Speaker 2: making these kinds of mistakes. She then got a bit defensive,

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Speaker 2: saying that I should have cleaned up the clutter already

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Speaker 2: because I had talked about tidying up my desk. I

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Speaker 2: agree that I need to be better about it, but

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Speaker 2: this argument doesn't make any sense because none of the

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Speaker 2: things that she threw away came from my desk. They

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Speaker 2: came from my nightstand, my clothes door, my closet, a

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Speaker 2: separate closet. And I told her that I hope her

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Speaker 2: statement was just something said defensively without really thinking about it,

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Speaker 2: because the logic behind me it has some bad implications.

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Speaker 2: If she got rid of my things in my non

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Speaker 2: desk areas because of a messy desk, that means she

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Speaker 2: got rid of things in non desk areas as some

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Speaker 2: kind of revenge, even if this had anything to do

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Speaker 2: at the desk. I told her that she should at

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Speaker 2: least warn me before she goes through the purge. Well,

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Speaker 2: I know that she shouldn't have to ask me to

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Speaker 2: keep things tidy to her standards. The least she could

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Speaker 2: have done was tell me to address it before she

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Speaker 2: starts getting rid of things.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so Opie say it for herself, saying this is

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Speaker 1: where I'm at, this is one.

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Speaker 2: Of my boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, I think that's absolutely fair to say, Hey, you

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Speaker 2: can tell me to clean up my mess, but tell

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Speaker 2: me don't just like delete all of it. I told her,

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Speaker 2: if this was really about clutter, she should leave it

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Speaker 2: in a box for me to go through. She told

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Speaker 2: me that I had gotten mad at her in the

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Speaker 2: past because she had done that. I remember no such incident,

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Speaker 2: but I told her that even if I had gotten

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Speaker 2: upset about that, which doesn't make any sense because that

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00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 2: is what I keep asking her to do. Why would

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Speaker 2: it be worse than throwing at the things without asking me.

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Speaker 2: She told me that I should keep my things in

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Speaker 2: my closet or the garage because those are my areas.

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Speaker 2: All her clothes too, the super clol your child's sentimental toys.

368
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Speaker 2: Like that doesn't make sense. Then I asked her if

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Speaker 2: I have to keep all of my clothes in the

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Speaker 2: garage too, also, she had taken things from my closet,

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Speaker 2: the alleged safe space. She said that she had only

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Speaker 2: taken a shirt that was staying and shorts that I

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Speaker 2: had agreed to get rid of that just wasn't true.

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Speaker 2: There were several shirts, pajama shorts, and a tank top

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Speaker 2: that she threw away without stains.

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Speaker 1: So why is she lying?

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Speaker 2: She's lying, well, I feel like she wants to do this,

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Speaker 2: and so she's just gonna make up whatever to prove

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Speaker 2: her port. She's like, oh no, I well I wanted

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Speaker 2: to get rid of this, So here are all of

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00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:55,399
Speaker 2: the excuses to why it's actually okay, and actually you

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Speaker 2: said I could do it. And he's like, I never

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Speaker 2: said that.

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Speaker 1: We need We just need to get to the feeling.

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Speaker 3: We need to get to the emotional core that just

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Speaker 3: causing this behavior to pop up, Like you know what.

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Speaker 1: Trauma causes for Yeah, Amy lenses.

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you she has OCPD and thinks it should

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Speaker 2: be her way. Also, the gene shorts that she said

390
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Speaker 2: I had agreed to get rid of was not true.

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Speaker 2: I told her that I needed to get new shorts

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Speaker 2: because I've been losing weight, but I don't have the

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Speaker 2: replacement shorts yet. If I had been ready to get

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Speaker 2: rid of them, I didn't need her help throwing out

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Speaker 2: those shorts would have left me with only one pair

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Speaker 2: of shorts that fit me. I know that she has

397
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Speaker 2: a tendency to be a bit defensive and say things

398
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 2: but without thinking too much when she feels like she's

399
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 2: being attacked, but she will usually ruminate on things later

400
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,399
Speaker 2: and address things more reasonably after taking the time to

401
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,560
Speaker 2: digest the issues. Normally, I try to give her a

402
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,520
Speaker 2: little space when she gets defensive like that so that

403
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 2: she has time to reflect. However, it made me very

404
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 2: angry that she kept trying to defend her actions, which

405
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:03,119
Speaker 2: were clearly with arguments that did not make any sense.

406
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Speaker 2: Though I've previously called her out on breaking her promises

407
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 2: not to throw my things away, I had never called

408
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 2: her out on her lying. I got upset and asked

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Speaker 2: her why she keeps lying to me about it if

410
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,119
Speaker 2: the things she is saying are true. She didn't really respond.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, sorry. Before we get to that, we see

412
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,920
Speaker 1: a pattern. It's a loop. I like, how ope, I

413
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 1: feel like we're about to like the circle is about

414
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,200
Speaker 1: the well.

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00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 2: I think OPI is doing a great job at like

416
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 2: standing her ground and being like no, that that's not true.

417
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 2: Like you can't gas at me because I know that's

418
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 2: not true, and then she's finding all of these like

419
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: holes in her wife's story.

420
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,680
Speaker 1: But it seems like this part right here is about, yeah,

421
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,400
Speaker 1: we're about to get some inside. I agree.

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00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 2: She didn't really respond. I kept to myself the rest

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00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 2: of the night. I cried a lot. She kept being

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00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 2: extra sweet to me. She might be acting like she

425
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 2: had realized she's in the wrong and said that she

426
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 2: would set aside things she wants to throw away first.

427
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 2: She never actually apologized or expressed remorse. She didn't say

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00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 2: that she wanted to earn my trust back. By the way,

429
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 2: you can earn our trust if you listen to full

430
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 2: episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,

431
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,120
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, or iHeart Radio and search a book as storytime.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be infuriated if you do not get some.

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Speaker 1: You me too, and I'm worried that we want well.

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Speaker 3: I think that the core of this is that I

435
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 3: think Opie's partner is probably dealing with, like Chad is saying,

436
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 3: some kind of OCD or some kind of some kind

437
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 3: of compulsion that maybe even she herself doesn't fully grasp.

438
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 3: But it's like a feeling. And so when you press her.

439
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 3: She's not gonna admit it because she she just.

440
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 2: Probably doesn't even understand it too, you know, right fully.

441
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 1: She can't admit to it.

442
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,360
Speaker 3: It's like it'd be like admitting like I don't know

443
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 3: that you're just like wrong as a person, because that's

444
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 3: how she probably feels about it.

445
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 1: Is that that's just her so therapy.

446
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 2: The lease therapy, therapy therapy. Yeah, but there's a little

447
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 2: bit left. It makes me think she still doesn't understand

448
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 2: how devastating to me it is that I cannot trust

449
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 2: her anymore. I'm not satisfied with this results, and I'm

450
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 2: going to push hard for couple's therapy. As has been

451
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: discussed in the comments, Contrary to some of the other comments,

452
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 2: I adamantly believe that this is not worth destroying our

453
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,120
Speaker 2: marriage about and raising our daughter in a broken home.

454
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 2: For I don't think we're at divorce right now. If

455
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 2: this is something that happens like maybe three times a year,

456
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 2: this is absolutely not divorce worthy. It is absolutely something

457
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 2: that needs to be addressed.

458
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 3: Though.

459
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 2: Yes, that said, her reaction, slash response, or lack thereof,

460
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 2: to being told how upsetting it is that she keeps

461
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 2: lying to me is an enormous red flag. If she

462
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 2: doesn't care about regaining my trust, then I don't think

463
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 2: we have a marriage to sate. And I think this

464
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 2: is just like you got to keep having those conversations

465
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 2: and get like a mediator involved.

466
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 1: Because I had a family member once that went through

467
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 1: a relapse because a death in the family, and then

468
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 1: usually around that same time of year, they're like kind

469
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: of like that pattern will pick up. I feel like

470
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: there's something in your wife's childhood of past that keeps

471
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:09,199
Speaker 1: coming up every few times a year she need to

472
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 1: talk through, and once you're able to find that out,

473
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: you'll be able to have a breakthrough. Once you have

474
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: that breakthrough, I don't see why this can't work right. Yeah,

475
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 1: it's just a it's one breakthrough away.

476
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 3: That was a really good observation because I feel like

477
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 3: a lot of people have those things where it's like

478
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 3: when you get around a certain time of year, it's

479
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 3: like stuff starts coming up because like that's just around

480
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 3: the time that it happened to you.

481
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, so, but it's all in the emotions, for sure.

482
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: I would say, agreed, don't no need to divorce unless like, no,

483
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 1: there's no solution at all. You've tried, Leah everything.

484
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 2: Let's try everything before we do that.

485
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: Yes, hey's John og host. We're gonna get back to

486
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 1: the stories, but a quick three minute break of ads

487
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 1: from our sponsors. My husband thinks I became too protective

488
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 1: of my daughter, but.

489
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 2: I can't help it. To help it.

490
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,479
Speaker 1: Trigger warning brief mentions of an accident, injury and insuing

491
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,919
Speaker 1: death of an infant. Burnerary account because my main is

492
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 1: easily is connected to the hospital I work at. Thirteen

493
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 1: months ago, I twenty seven female, had the happiest day

494
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: of my life. Gave birth to a beautiful baby girl,

495
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,879
Speaker 1: Amy Female one. She has her daddy's eyes and my face,

496
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: and despite being a little underweight when she was born,

497
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: she has always been developing perfectly. She's everything we ever

498
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: wished for, especially after several years of struggling to conceive.

499
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 1: And this comes from sad Display forty and if you

500
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: just me your own stories, go to the r okay stories.

501
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 1: I'm suburb so recently I went back to work as

502
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: a nurse at the hospital. My husband, Sondro Mail thirty one,

503
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: is independently employed and can work from home and watch

504
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 1: Amy at the same time while I work. Since I

505
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 1: went back to work, my home life has become tense.

506
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 1: I see so many accidents at work for kids of

507
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: all ages, but especially the ones involving younger kids hit

508
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: me hard, even when I'm not the one treating them.

509
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: I've been very protective and careful since she was born,

510
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: but it has become worse since I went back to work.

511
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: Just leaving her alone during the nights has become hard.

512
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 1: When she cries, I immediately run over because I fear

513
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: something has happened. When Sondro puts Amy to bed, I

514
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 1: always have to double check that no choking hazards are

515
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 1: in the bed, that everything around her is properly secured,

516
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 1: that the windows are closed, and the list goes on.

517
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,959
Speaker 1: It's not because I distruss Sandro and his abilities as

518
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: a dad. He's a great husband and father, a gentle

519
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: giant who vowed to be a great father, and so

520
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 1: far has been easy, seemingly typical ex military legend, but

521
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,919
Speaker 1: he is a total girl dad. Amy's first birthday, he

522
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 1: was in a princess dress and bait cupcakes. He is.

523
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: He has now started the plans to build a giant

524
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: play castle in the garden for when she is older.

525
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: Sadly Soandro did not have a good fall, so while

526
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: I was pregnant, he was extremely anxious that he turned

527
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: out to be the same monster. Now that I'm so overprotective,

528
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: double check after my husband, he is hurt and feels

529
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: like I am doubting him. He always asked me to

530
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 1: trust him, and I do, but I know from experience

531
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: that even the best and most responsible parents can even

532
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: make mistakes, and some of those mistakes can cost them

533
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 1: the lives of their babies. Ooh, this is tricky.

534
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 2: Ooh, I think I was gonna I was thinking about it,

535
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 2: and I feel like when you're in healthcare profession, like

536
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 2: a nurse or doctor, I think that you can kind

537
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 2: of go to routes as a parent. You can either

538
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: be like super super protective because you're seeing all of

539
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 2: these things where kids get hurt and stuff, or you're like,

540
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 2: ah that GE's fine. Yeah, Like they come to you

541
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 2: and I'm they're like I'm sick, and you're like, god, take.

542
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 1: It as I've seen worse.

543
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like that is the two routes that

544
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: often happen, and it happens with people at work. In

545
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,879
Speaker 2: your first time mom, you're both first time parents. Of

546
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 2: course you're going to be nervous. However, being parents like

547
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,199
Speaker 2: as a unit, evolves a lot of trust and you

548
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 2: can If you can't trust your partner, then there's deeper

549
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: problems in your relationship.

550
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 1: It's so hard to have an occupation that doesn't bleed

551
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: into your personal life. Like, for example, I can't really

552
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,639
Speaker 1: enjoy certain pieces of content because I know the retention

553
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 1: rate is not that high, or the intro could have

554
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: been better, or like the thumbnail could have had a

555
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: different title, one hundred million things. And even when I

556
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 1: watch people live stream oh d it's a whole nother thing.

557
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: I can't even watch live streamings. Yeah, it's tough. Keon,

558
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: what about you? Anytime anyone ever asks you advice on computers,

559
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 1: what do you say?

560
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 4: It depends on who's asking.

561
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 2: You have war flashbacks?

562
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's some people that I know that have like

563
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 4: when it comes to technology, they just have no awareness.

564
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 2: And it just like Carly says, my mom is a

565
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:57,479
Speaker 2: your fine doctor.

566
00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 3: Nice.

567
00:26:59,160 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 1: I love that.

568
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 2: Sophia's Colonne says, I don't think she's ever protective. It

569
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 2: sounds like a normal amount of healthcare worker. I think

570
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 2: the problem that's coming up, which it seems like she's

571
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 2: just mentioned it a little bit so far. Is not

572
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 2: that she's, like, you know, worrying abnormally, She's just not

573
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 2: placing a lot of trust.

574
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: In her part doubting. I think that's the issue, the

575
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: perception of doubting your partner.

576
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, but let's keep reading.

577
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: Sandro has tried to be understanding, especially when I explained

578
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: to him that is the same thing as him always

579
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: checking the house alarm is activated and that the weapons

580
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: he has around the house are all working in order

581
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: before he goes on a work trip during which I'd

582
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 1: be alone, just a bit of paranoia as a result

583
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 1: of our work. It worked for a bit like that,

584
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 1: but last week it came to a head. There was

585
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: an accident with a nine month year old and I

586
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 1: would say that she did not make it. I was

587
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,400
Speaker 1: present when we were all there and trying to revive her.

588
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 1: I was sitting home early by my boss, who knows

589
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 1: I have a baby around the same age. That night,

590
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 1: I cried myself to sleep in the nursery while my

591
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 1: husband held me. Ever since that day, I've been unable

592
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 1: to stop thinking and worrying. I've been driving Sandro nuts,

593
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 1: requesting updates from him. I've tried to keep it to

594
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 1: a minimum, but on a nearly hour basis, I would

595
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: text him and ask where Amy was, how she was doing,

596
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 1: and requests a picture so I could spot any invisible dangers.

597
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 1: I know Sandro is a good and overprotective parent himself.

598
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 1: I just want to be sure and with my job,

599
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: I know what to look for.

600
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 2: Honestly, you're looking for things that aren't there and for

601
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 2: things that are there. And in doing that, like what

602
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 2: happens when the kid's a teenager. The thing is that

603
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 2: you have to know that your child is going to

604
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: get hurt. It's impossible for your child, like I, every child.

605
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: Owt see just like that.

606
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 2: Every child in the world has gotten hurt at one point,

607
00:28:56,160 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 2: and it's not because their parents are bad parents. I

608
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 2: when I was like a couple of years old, I

609
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 2: like was jumping on a couch and I accidentally tripped

610
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: and face planted onto a sharp dollhouse and I had

611
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 2: like a huge, like bump on my head. Fix it, Yeah,

612
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: but I think I still have a very light It

613
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: was like when I was really young.

614
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 1: Your face.

615
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: That's messed up.

616
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 1: That's my stup.

617
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 2: Anyway, it's it's not because my parents were neglecting me.

618
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: It's not because they are bad parents. It's because kids

619
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 2: get hurt life.

620
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: It's a part of them.

621
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 4: Like yeah, you know when you like you touched like

622
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 4: the like like the fire, like you make too close

623
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 4: to the fire, Like, ah, it's hot. You can tell

624
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 4: a kid it's going to be hot, but like, yeah,

625
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 4: I want to know if it's hot or not.

626
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

627
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: And I think op is unfortunately because she's around all

628
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 2: of this, Like you know, she sees the worst of

629
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: the worst kind of situations where kids get hurt. That's

630
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 2: all she's thinking about.

631
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and as a kid gets older, you're gonna have

632
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: more worries. I think just going to therapy four years. Yes,

633
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: so this kid doesn't feel like they have Harry o'copter,

634
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: Like you got one that's a nurse that's overprotective of

635
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: like you're not getting physically harm. And then you got

636
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: a military dad that's like overprotective too that you don't

637
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: also get physically harm, and you're just gonna be wrapped

638
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: up in a bubble. Yeah, kid's gonna be like.

639
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:18,719
Speaker 4: You're gonna have a bubble boy.

640
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. That movie with Jake Chill in hall.

641
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 4: That's bubble boy.

642
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think therapy. I think, you know, talk

643
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 2: to your husband, get on the same page, and potentially

644
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: take a you know, leave of absence.

645
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 1: From your jobs sabbatical.

646
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's because this is it's it's only confirming the

647
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 2: worst of your thoughts.

648
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: Can we get a sabbatical? No, you guys, let us

649
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: have a sabbatical. Sandro was patient for the first two days,

650
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: but on the third he suddenly didn't respond after the

651
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: first two updates in the morning, I started spamming him

652
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: and calling him frantically and receiving no replies. At this

653
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: point I was completely beside myself and asked a police

654
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: officer friend of mine do a welfare check on him

655
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 1: when he isn't in a busy or active on a call.

656
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: I didn't make an official report to NOMEN one, just

657
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: text a friend.

658
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 2: See, yeah, this is we've we've gone into and someone

659
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: said PbD potentially severe anxiety. Absolutely, I hope he is

660
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: thinking the worst and this has gotten out of control.

661
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 2: This is we need therapy. This is absolutely therapy. To

662
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 2: call the police, regardless of it if it's a friend

663
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 2: or not, on your partner as the like kind of

664
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 2: first resort uugh.

665
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 1: Turns out Sandro was in a very important meeting that

666
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: he had told me about a few days ago prior,

667
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: but I forgot. The meeting was within a very important

668
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: clients and it was interrupted by a cop knocking and

669
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: saying Amy's mother had requested a well fair check. Once

670
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: the situation was cleared up with the police officer left,

671
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: I was given an all clear. But no matter what

672
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 1: Sandra did, the meeting was ruined and the deal fell through.

673
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: Public image is very important in my husband's area of work,

674
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 1: and a cop coming for a welfare check, he's not

675
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 1: a good look. Oh my gosh. Sandra was furious with me.

676
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 1: He told me that he has been patient, but I

677
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: need to get a grip on my overprotectedness or he

678
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: is going to consider it at least temporary separation until

679
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 1: I've gotten the help I need. I know he's right.

680
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: I know my issues are going way too far and

681
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: they're damaging me, my husband, and my child. But at

682
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: the same time, I can't help but think that I

683
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: am in the right to some extent. Yes, I went

684
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: too far with sending the police, but I know that.

685
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: But what if something had happened? But if he fell

686
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: asleep and Amy had fallen out of a highchair, or

687
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: if she began choking, what if she was silently hurt

688
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: and he didn't notice. At least this way, the baby

689
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: would have been safe.

690
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 3: Oh.

691
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: I told him as much as he exploded at me,

692
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 1: that he could handle taking care of a baby, that

693
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 1: we can't caddle Amy that much, and that baby are

694
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 1: more resilient that I'm giving them credit for, and that

695
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: for every baby I treat, thousands are completely fine. Sandra

696
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: was also angry that I clearly distrussed him and think

697
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 1: that he is in a good dad, which isn't true.

698
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: But I understand how it looks.

699
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, o P, you're in this like what if cycle.

700
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 2: Of course, of course anything can happen, but when you

701
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: assume the worst, you're just walking. You know, you're just

702
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 2: living in this like torture torture chamber that you've created

703
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 2: in your own mind. Like someone said, baby camp, maybe

704
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 2: do they have a baby camp?

705
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: Sure?

706
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 2: I don't think that helps this issue though, because this

707
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 2: issue is beyond.

708
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: Like also normal.

709
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 2: Solutions, because it's not a normal problem. She's got like

710
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 2: severe anxiety.

711
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 1: I feel like the more you worry about something, the

712
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: more likely it's going to become true. Yeah, because I

713
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: had this random thought last week. It's wonder what self

714
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 1: fulfilling prophecy Angie's house looks like during the weekday. I

715
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 1: will never know what that's like. Yesterday I was at

716
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 1: her house during a weekday because I had a way

717
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 1: on the computer to get done manifesting. Yeah. Yeah, that

718
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: like that's a thing, and you have to be careful

719
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: with that on that level because you're like, oh, this

720
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: might have this might have this might habit. Yeah.

721
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 2: Well, when you become so overprotective kids, I mean, as

722
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 2: they get older, they very much want to rebel because

723
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 2: they don't like doing, you know, everything that they're told

724
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 2: to do.

725
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,879
Speaker 1: And then it's gonna get hostile because you're gonna start

726
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: getting more aggravated and angry with your kid. It's not

727
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: a good cycle.

728
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 2: No, this is Yeah, I honestly think therapy and I

729
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 2: am thinking even more that you might need to take

730
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 2: a break from your job. Yeah, because your job is

731
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 2: just fulfilling all of these fantasies that you're creating in

732
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 2: your head.

733
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 1: We began arguing like we never argued before, including how

734
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: irresponsible it was for him to turn his phone off

735
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 1: for the meeting, so I couldn't reach him. We only

736
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: stopped when Amy woke up from our shouting. I went

737
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 1: to her, but my husband was faster and sat on

738
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 1: the couch with her. I was just watching, and he

739
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 1: snapped at me as if he was still allowed to

740
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 1: hold her or not. I left to go to bed

741
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 1: without another word. Sandro apologized later for screaming, and I

742
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,240
Speaker 1: could tell he was genuinely upset because his own dad

743
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 1: always screamed at his mom into submission, and he hates

744
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: arguing with me in that way. Apologizing for pushing him

745
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: to that point ruined his deal and possibly damaging his

746
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 1: reputation and his social works. When then he said that

747
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: he shouldn't have yelled, that he meant what he said.

748
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 1: Sandro gave me the ultimatum to either quit work, slash

749
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 1: work in a different field, go to therapy and get

750
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 1: a grip on my issues, or he will have to

751
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: at least temporarily separate and maybe eventually divorce me.

752
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 2: I completely agree.

753
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 1: I'm at a loss now. I love Sandro and I

754
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: do not want to lose him. I'm willing to do

755
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: as he asked, but I also feel like unlearning to

756
00:35:55,719 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: be so vigilant would also be endangering Amy. Again, I know. Oh,

757
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 1: that's kind of the point that I should want to

758
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 1: unlearn to be like this. But what if something happens

759
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: because I do. I would never forgive myself with my

760
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: negligence pause to harm my baby. Does anyone have any

761
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 1: experience with this overprotectiveness they could share? How can I

762
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,720
Speaker 1: work to even get myself to go to therapy without

763
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 1: feeling like it's endangering Amy? How can I make sure

764
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: my husband knows I can trust him? Ugh?

765
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 2: This is so tough because Opie, even in understanding that

766
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 2: she's being overprotective, still thinks that she's right. She's still like, well,

767
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,399
Speaker 2: I'm but at the like I said, I can't stop

768
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 2: a think. But you know, if if I am not

769
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 2: a reprotective then she's gonna get hurt. Yeah, it's like, ah,

770
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 2: you have to unlearn this. The theme of this episode

771
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 2: is breaking loops. Yeah here, m h the first one,

772
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 2: we're almost at a breakthrough.

773
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, breaking a loop. Now we're on the side of

774
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: Opie making loops. Kimberly Fine says she destroyed both of

775
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: them the same time, trying to fill herself better. In

776
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 1: a collection of brief moments without seeing the big picture.

777
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:10,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, oh, he's so sure that if she is

778
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 2: helicoptering her child, that her child will be free of

779
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 2: all sickness and injury, And that just isn't true. It's like,

780
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,760
Speaker 2: no matter how like how hard you try, your child

781
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 2: will get hurt. And your job as a parent is

782
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 2: to protect them from the big things and to teach

783
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 2: them how to avoid those. But you can't do it

784
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 2: this way. You're just gonna drive yourself crazy and your

785
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 2: partner crazy, and your kid crazy, and your kid crazy.

786
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: Kimberly Fine says she knows that now, but she's only

787
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: considering her own ones and needs and acting without considering

788
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: the ramifications. It's confirmation biased to use the outcome to

789
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 1: justify her impulse behavior.

790
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and she's in the perfect job to do that.

791
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: She's got all of these examples. Absolutely agree that his ultimatum,

792
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 2: you know, we don't support almatums, go back up, but

793
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 2: she absolutely needs to quit and get there.

794
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 1: You actual drop Air says the issue that the first

795
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 1: six months of a baby's life, they can't defferentiate themselves

796
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: from their mom. They think their mom is an extension

797
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,879
Speaker 1: of themselves and mom's body is an extension of them.

798
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: I'll read one comment here, OPI, you need to get

799
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: checked for postpartum anxiety right now because your paranoia brain

800
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: is running the show at the moment. Stop calling over

801
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 1: protection and call it what it is, paranoia and controlling.

802
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: If you can possibly get transferred away from a unit

803
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 1: with babies, that would probably be a good idea as well,

804
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: because your work is only fueling your fears. You're operating

805
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: on confirmation bias because you only see babies that are injured.

806
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: The vast majority of babies are not in the er.

807
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: You can't really find called that.

808
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 2: Yep.

809
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: The reality is you are not going to be able

810
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: to control every second of your child's life. But I said,

811
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: and you need to accept that and trust your husband

812
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 1: is a competent parent who doesn't need constant monitoring. How

813
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 1: would you feel if he called the police on you

814
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: while he was away? Would you feel insulted like he

815
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: was suggesting you weren't capable of caring for her. She

816
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,919
Speaker 1: could just as easily have an accident in your care.

817
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 1: Part of making the decision to procreate with another person

818
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 1: deciding that they are a safe person to care for

819
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,839
Speaker 1: your share child you have some serious cognitive dissonance going on,

820
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,720
Speaker 1: saying you trust him, but also assuming that the second

821
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: she is in his carolone, she's in danger. This is

822
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 1: a mental health issue. You need to talk to your

823
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: physician now today and get a referral to a therapist

824
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: who can help.

825
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 2: And yeah, I'm probably saying the same thing that we said.

826
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then uh, comment's like here in Germany we're

827
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: a bit more relaxed his parents, but in America, you

828
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 1: guys are just always anxious.

829
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 2: Which I mean honestly that it is kind of a

830
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 2: good point. There's a lot of cultural differences because even

831
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 2: in like you can see it in playgrounds. Playgrounds in

832
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 2: America are very safe, like in Australia, there's like zip

833
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 2: lines and trampolines at the playground. Like there's a lot

834
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 2: of different things at playgrounds because America has so many

835
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 2: rules surrounding what can be at a playground.

836
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: Hot take, hot take, what can make you fume? I

837
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: think we're programmed that way. I think the proper granda

838
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 1: and like the things that are around have made us

839
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: as Americans more anxious just to live as general, because

840
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,359
Speaker 1: we're always on fear. Everychonicle in the news is always fear.

841
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:43,439
Speaker 2: I agree. I mean, but that's also a product of of, uh,

842
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 2: just the massive amount of information that we are being

843
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:52,919
Speaker 2: like given because you know, obviously back in like people

844
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 2: are always saying like, there's so many more cereal, cereal

845
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,359
Speaker 2: unto libraries and there's so many more like of all

846
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 2: of that stuff going on and the like. No, there

847
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 2: were a lot of cereal people back in the day.

848
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 2: We just didn't have information about the information about it.

849
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,919
Speaker 2: So people were letting their kids go out until night

850
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 2: time and saying like, you know, my dad always tells me, Yeah,

851
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 2: my parents just said come back when the lights turn one.

852
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 3: That the thing.

853
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a huge there was a huge thing.

854
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: And now parents are like, I would never do that.

855
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 2: And it's not because it's necessarily any safer. It's because

856
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 2: we have more information about all of the things that

857
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 2: are happening to kids.

858
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,399
Speaker 1: Then the sad thing is like, oh, wait, I can

859
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: become a serial killer, dude, I'm gonna start doing that.

860
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: Wa wait, and then the people have serial killers. Oh

861
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: my god, there's so many podcasts.

862
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 2: I actually am very annoyed about the amount of glorification

863
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 2: and the amount of coverage.

864
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 1: That yeah, these people get but let's get into this. Wow,

865
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 1: the product of our country. Sorry, I didn't mean to

866
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: get us all hot.

867
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 2: No, but I do agree with you about that.

868
00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: Well, let's get back into the inside of this.

869
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:05,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a zoomed out the micro Hello.

870
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 1: Everyone. I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but I was

871
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 1: waiting for everything to settle down first. And the response

872
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: for my first post has absolutely been overwhelming. I'm sorry

873
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 1: for not replying to in comments, but it's been truly

874
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: a lot blah blah blah blah. To be honest, when

875
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: I first posted here, I genuinely expected to be met

876
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: with reassurance that I was not crazy and that maybe

877
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: I had to dial it down at the most. Instead,

878
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 1: the replies were eye openers. A day after I posted here,

879
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 1: I sent the post to Sandro while he was in

880
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 1: a room over and texted him that I wanted to

881
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: get help, but I need to do it. He knows

882
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 1: how hard asking for help from me is and almost

883
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 1: immediately came over, hugged me and kissed me and told

884
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 1: me that we were going to get through this. I

885
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: truly don't serve this man. I had a talk with

886
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: my boss and it was immediately moved from the er,

887
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 1: and after a week of mainly doing administrative work, my

888
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 1: boss approached me with an to move me to a

889
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: different workplace under the same company. I would mainly work

890
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 1: with the elderly and disabled to make their days, weeks,

891
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: months as comfortable as possible. I was thinking, she was

892
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 1: gonna get moved there.

893
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 2: That's great, but this is like best case scenario.

894
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: Now you can worry when your kid gets older and

895
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: what to do. Then.

896
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, now you'll just worry about your own life.

897
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 1: No, no, don't get in the shower.

898
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,760
Speaker 3: No, let me come.

899
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 1: Oh man, Now Sandra is gonna watch out for himself.

900
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 1: Oh man. Doug Sandra about it, and he agreed to

901
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: try it as an alternative to quitting the ultimatum he

902
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 1: gave me after two days of working there to see

903
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 1: if it fits, I agree to the offer. Because of

904
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,280
Speaker 1: the circumstances, I was able to start my new job

905
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: on the first of August, and while it can be

906
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: sad at times, it is much slower and almost peaceful

907
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 1: in comparison. I even talked to some of the old

908
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: women there and they told me similar things as commenters,

909
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 1: and even some who shared how terrifying it was to

910
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 1: raise their own kids at times, but that I had

911
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,359
Speaker 1: to let Amy learn to live on her own or

912
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 1: I'd have a child relying on me for my entire life. Yea,

913
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: I love this.

914
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 2: And now she has people that can give her advice

915
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 2: who have gone through like you know, parenting and stuff.

916
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 1: I felt like she retired, she's going off.

917
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 2: No, I mean like, I think it's pretty good to

918
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 2: remember that the elderly people in our lives have a

919
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 2: lot of wisdom to share, and I think we often

920
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 2: discredit that.

921
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 1: Sure, ain't there, right, Keon, give me so much good advice,

922
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 1: give so much wisdom. Sure, call me old, Yeah you

923
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: got older today, still younger than you look at me, dude,

924
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: Come on, I don't even care about look younger. I

925
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: just like the way I look anyway. The only kids

926
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,760
Speaker 1: I come into contact on with the new job or healthy,

927
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: strong kids visiting their grandparents. I think it might be

928
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 1: the best decision I've made in months. Has put a

929
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 1: halt to my career and I get less pay, but

930
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 1: thankfully with Sandro's job, we're in a position or that

931
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: hardly matters. Sandro also convinced me to go to therapy

932
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 1: at first, I agreed to be honest. I get expected

933
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: the therapists to agree with me, as you may expect.

934
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: She did not. My therapist is kind but stern woman.

935
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 1: She reassures me but I don't feel crazy, but also

936
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 1: bluntly tells me that I'm behaving irrationally. We're still in

937
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,720
Speaker 1: the early phases, but I see her twice a week currently.

938
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: I still have a long way to go, but we're

939
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 1: working on it. I was diagnosed with post bottom anxiety,

940
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: unsurprisingly and PTSD due to what I saw at my

941
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 1: job and some stuff for my own neglectful parents which

942
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to go into detail about. I think

943
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 1: you should. I speaking that was a bad joke. I've

944
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:59,280
Speaker 1: been going through some of the comments on my original

945
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 1: posts with her, and if that matters, most of your

946
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: comments are therapists approved. Thank you to everyone who suggested

947
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 1: a camera. My husband and I talked about it and

948
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: agreed to have a camera installed in the living room

949
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: and nursery. I don't know I feel about that. His

950
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,240
Speaker 1: office couldn't have one since he works with sensitive information,

951
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 1: but he just works from the living room now and

952
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: goes into his office for sensitive calls and meetings. It's

953
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 1: helped a lot that I could just check in regularly

954
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: on it without having to ask him. My therapists and

955
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,399
Speaker 1: I are trying to work towards having me check in

956
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,919
Speaker 1: less and less. That's now yet perfect, but I guess

957
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: we'll get there, you know.

958
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 2: Okay, if as long as the therapist is involved in

959
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 2: this conversation. Sure, if the babycam helps you know and

960
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 2: be kind of an intermediary to you getting better.

961
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 1: All four. I just don't like cameras in the house.

962
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:47,839
Speaker 3: Man.

963
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, baby camps are super common. Still, they're

964
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:52,360
Speaker 2: super common.

965
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:53,320
Speaker 1: I s don't.

966
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 2: You probably will if you have a child, you probably

967
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 2: will need to have a baby cam. You have to them.

968
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 2: I don't know that's how you check on your baby

969
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 2: at night? Uh you have like a thing next to them. No,

970
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 2: are you just gonna have the baby in your room.

971
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have it in the closet.

972
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,839
Speaker 1: What okay, I'm going to sleep in my bed and

973
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: the baby will be in the other room. I'm gonna

974
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:15,800
Speaker 1: walk with my own two feet to check on it.

975
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 2: It's the baby cam, most Okay. Sure you'll find out.

976
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 1: I'll find out.

977
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 2: You'll find out.

978
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: What about You'll find out? I already know my my

979
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 1: little brother slept in a drawer. They didn't close it,

980
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 1: they just had it open on the floor. They slept

981
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:33,919
Speaker 1: in the drawer on vacations. That's how it works. Wow,

982
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 1: I know. Whatever we become parents, me and Sophie are

983
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: gonna go like hand for hand on this. Shecuse like

984
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 1: your kids are just we might even be able to

985
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:44,919
Speaker 1: work together. We'll be fine, You'll be fine.

986
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 2: Or out there, We'll be fine.

987
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 1: Oh, we'll be fine.

988
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 2: We'll be fine.

989
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 1: We're disagreeing over a baby cam.

990
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 2: We'll be fine.

991
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: Chat. What are your thoughts on baby cams? Babycam? Yes,

992
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: baby cam? No, Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here.

993
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's a

994
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from ask for more sponsors. Has

995
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 1: also started on an accidental thing we try to do

996
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 1: every day where I log into the cameras and Sandro

997
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: and Amy sit in front of the camera and we

998
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 1: call eating lunch together. It's become a bit of a

999
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: fun tradition this past week since I've been at my

1000
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 1: new job. Also, a huge thanks for the kids who

1001
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 1: grew up similarly to how I'm treating Amy, He replies,

1002
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 1: really helped me realizing that I may be keeping baby

1003
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 1: Amy safe teen and adult Amy will suffer from it. Yeah,

1004
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 1: that's what I was thinking. Sandro has made it clear

1005
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 1: that he is not going to divorce me because he

1006
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 1: can see me trying. He's my rock in all of this,

1007
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: and I would be absolutely lost without him. Once I

1008
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,560
Speaker 1: am in a better state of mind, will consider couples

1009
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: counseling because Sandro is still a bit hurt that I

1010
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 1: seem to mistrust him, and I understand completely. Sandro was

1011
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,439
Speaker 1: talking to a lawyer about the possibility of making him

1012
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: the primary parent because my therapist has noted that we

1013
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 1: can't ignore the possibility of me getting worse is something

1014
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: were to happen to Amy, like a cold, and just

1015
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 1: in case, Sandro wants to make it impossible for me

1016
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 1: to possibly act irrationally again and take off with her

1017
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: or something like it. While I absolutely hate the thought

1018
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 1: and I understand and agreed to talk about it, but

1019
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 1: that has honestly taken a lesser priority right now. We've

1020
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 1: also decided to hold off on having another kid for now.

1021
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,879
Speaker 1: Originally we wanted to start trying for a baby again

1022
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 1: once Amy is about eighteen months. My therapist agreed that

1023
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 1: it might not be a good idea currently probably all

1024
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 1: don't care too much. But a few days ago, Amy

1025
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 1: wave goodbye to me for the first time on her

1026
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,720
Speaker 1: own when I left for work, without Sandro encouraging her first.

1027
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 1: I swear in that moment it all became worth it,

1028
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 1: and I knew how to work on myself to give

1029
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 1: my baby girl the best possible future without a paranoid mother.

1030
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's super sweet for the people saying. My

1031
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 1: friend the cop is also at fault for enabling me.

1032
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,959
Speaker 1: Honestly exactly it to him. I told him I hadn't

1033
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 1: heard from Sandro in hours and that Sandro hadn't been

1034
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:09,879
Speaker 1: feeling well. I didn't follow an official report or emergency line,

1035
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 1: just texted a friend to check up on Sandro when

1036
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 1: he is free. My friend has since informed me of

1037
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: what really happened, and he told me to never ever

1038
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 1: do it again and had distanced himself because I lied

1039
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 1: to him and in a way misused his power and

1040
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,800
Speaker 1: a ConTroll link move. I am still struggling, but I'm

1041
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: beginning to realize that asking a friend for a wellness

1042
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: check was wrong, and I'm afraid that's a friendship I

1043
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 1: won't be able to salvage all in all, It's hard,

1044
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: and I often wake up to check on Amy. But

1045
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 1: I'm getting to a point where checking the cameras is

1046
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 1: enough about half the time. So much has happened in

1047
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: the last three weeks since I posted. But with my

1048
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: husband and my angel of a boss now former boss,

1049
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 1: I have a good support system. And by the way,

1050
00:50:56,640 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: you want best support system in the freaking world, virtually

1051
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 1: with your ear holes. All you gotta do, Let's go

1052
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 1: to your favorite freaking podcast platform, Apple, Spotify or heart

1053
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 1: Radio and search up Okay storytime, and you will have Me,

1054
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: Sophia key On, Sam Dakota and sometimes Angie and maybe

1055
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: even Carly as your support system.

1056
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 2: It's true. It's true.

1057
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 1: It's true. Yeah, right in your ear holes. And looks

1058
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: like people love the baby cam.

1059
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 2: I am seeing a lot of people saying also baby

1060
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,919
Speaker 2: monitors as kind of an other option to a baby cam,

1061
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 2: which just makes yeah, you usually get audio ones, but

1062
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 2: just something that, like, you know, that's the one. I yeah,

1063
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 2: just a way to keep you know, if they're in

1064
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 2: the other room.

1065
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1066
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 1: I can hardwire a baby monitor with the stuff we

1067
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 1: have here. I get by then you're good. Maybe soon

1068
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 1: we'll be able to put chips in them. What you know,

1069
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 1: if I had live shoot the baby, I'd be fine.

1070
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 2: What that's good. That's a crazy step up. That's a

1071
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:02,280
Speaker 2: great Like it's a little if I'm not making money

1072
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 2: off of it.

1073
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 4: But you have have you guys seen that that that

1074
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 4: there are videos like that where like, hey, watch my

1075
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 4: kids for a second.

1076
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, literally, like they're live. She like, I go to

1077
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 1: use your restroom, I'm watch my kid.

1078
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 2: Personally anti sharing footage of.

1079
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 1: But have you seen that?

1080
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 4: Those are things that's insane to me, like some live streaming.

1081
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:25,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, anti thatad, but I have seen a lot of it. Yeah, yeah,

1082
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 2: we've got we've got everyone's on the baby cam or

1083
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 2: baby monitors side.

1084
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 1: If I had no computer hooked up to the internet

1085
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,880
Speaker 1: and they had footage, maybe I just I just don't

1086
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 1: like the idea of downloading an app and kind of

1087
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,240
Speaker 1: have an idea that other.

1088
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 2: People you would have. So there are things that you

1089
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 2: can get. There are like two monitors that you have,

1090
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,360
Speaker 2: so you have one like the cam or the monitor

1091
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: like listening, and then the one in your room. So

1092
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:57,359
Speaker 2: it's not like I think someone said, you can get

1093
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 2: one that's like not Wi Fi.

1094
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,240
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so you can get you can get.

1095
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 2: Ones that, like you know, aren't necessarily.

1096
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: I will think about it. Yeah, I just don't want

1097
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 1: ring to have I understand that OP continues. It's still

1098
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,360
Speaker 1: a struggle. At times. I feel like this post sounds

1099
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 1: a little bit more positive than things really are right now.

1100
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to accept that I am in

1101
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:22,919
Speaker 1: the wrong, and some days it almost feels like I'm

1102
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 1: being lying to. But I've learned to communicate that with

1103
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 1: my husband instead of being a control freak. Yay. Those

1104
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 1: days are hard. But once I actually start to talk

1105
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 1: about my fears to Sandro, he always had the perfect

1106
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:37,080
Speaker 1: reply to show me how silly my fears are. It's

1107
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,360
Speaker 1: almost infuriating, and I love him for it. Thank you

1108
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 1: very much to everyone who replied. I'm working on getting better.

1109
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll post another update on my profile to keep

1110
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 1: everyone updated and there's any interest. Slash need to. My

1111
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 1: therapist encouraged me to listen to stories of people affected

1112
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 1: by PPA or the flip side, people who grew up

1113
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 1: with parents like this, so I appreciate anyone willing to

1114
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 1: share their stories and experiences. That's probably good insight to

1115
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 1: get a glimpse of what your future could be like.

1116
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you don't figure it out, no, I think

1117
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 2: this is all I mean obviously, the whole thing with

1118
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,319
Speaker 2: like him having full custody kind of or you know,

1119
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 2: like full parental rights. It's pretty scary, but it hopefully,

1120
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 2: you know, shocks you and realizing, oh I need to

1121
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 2: make changes.

1122
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 1: Like now, I don't know why, but I feel like

1123
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:29,799
Speaker 1: Sandro is like this beefy, like tough Hispanic man with

1124
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 1: a mustache, just like walking around taking care of the

1125
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: baby and taking business calls. I love it.

1126
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 2: Ex military man.

1127
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, that's what's like in my head. He's

1128
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: just like wearing like tight shirts up top, showing off

1129
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 1: all his muscles and like don't worry, I got your baby,

1130
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 1: and he's like super nice. Oh it.

1131
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:45,880
Speaker 2: Also he wore his little princess dress. Yeah yeah, and

1132
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 2: he has like little I love when you would get

1133
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 2: this like super muscular macho men who are like really

1134
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:51,760
Speaker 2: cute girl.

1135
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 1: That he's like little tea and yeah, I love it.

1136
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 1: Pedro capt Pascal's cousin, like that's what he looks like.

1137
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, or Tommy the Last Ones, Oh yeah, yeah.

1138
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just imagining like Ron Swanson when he has

1139
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 2: the tea party with the little.

1140
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 4: Girl and he has like all the makeup.

1141
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the end of that episode, right, Yes, it

1142
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: is all right. Close out, folks.

1143
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 2: If you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1144
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 1: We love you and see you lo