1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's 2 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,880 Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson. I just said to Melody, 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,320 Speaker 1: I don't want to catch up with you other than 4 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: saying hi before I press record, because you and I 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: have now consistently just recorded real conversations and I kind 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:25,919 Speaker 1: of think that might be our thing. Um, you asked me, 7 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: how are you. Let's see, I'm still in my pajamas. 8 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: It is one eleven in Nashville, and it's two days 9 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 1: after the shooting at that school, and I have been 10 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 1: really heavy. I'm not gonna lie I. UM, you know 11 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: it's going in waves for me. But as an EmPATH, 12 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: I'm really having to be considered about what I take in, UM, 13 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: because there's so much of me that wants to help 14 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: and do something, and I'm just furious, Like honestly, that's 15 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: kind of how I feel. UM. And then I have 16 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: this like other side that feels very helpless and hopeless 17 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: and like really discouraged about the state of our country 18 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: in general. And so I'm battling those emotions. And then 19 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't just take all of everything in 20 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: at all times, or else I'm completely useless to everyone, 21 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,479 Speaker 1: so like it's just a balancing act right now, and 22 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: I'm kind of tired in the moment, but I am 23 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: finding peace. And what a great new experience for me 24 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: in learning how to take care of myself, which you 25 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: have been an integral part of that journey for me. 26 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,839 Speaker 1: So thank you and thank you for asking. I would 27 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: love to hear your answer of how you are. You know, ma, 28 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: was my fortie birthday And to have such a tragedy 29 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: happen when you wake up in the more earning and 30 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: you're trying to be like peaceful and present and grateful 31 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: and joyful and just really feel the fact that you're alive. 32 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: Like that's how I woke up. I'm like, I'm alive 33 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: and I'm well, and I am so lucky. And I 34 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: had such a low key day plan it was. It 35 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: was not like a big, loud, forty and fabulous kind 36 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: of day. It was a very grounded, peaceful day. And 37 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,799 Speaker 1: to be in that place and then to remember so 38 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: violently that our piece is so fragile and it's so 39 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: dependent on other people is jarring because we do so 40 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: much work to heal ourselves, to take care of ourselves, 41 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,679 Speaker 1: to do the work that we need to do to 42 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,519 Speaker 1: show up in the world from a place of wholeness 43 00:02:56,639 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: and health and mental and physical emotional wellnes us. And 44 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: then just like that, no matter how much you put in, 45 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: it can be taken from you. And I don't quite 46 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: know how to reconcile those two things. I felt very 47 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: defeated because I have two little girls who I sent 48 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: off to a public elementary school that day that doesn't 49 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: have armed security or anything like that. It's this idyllic 50 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: little school nestled next to a hill, and I like 51 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: to believe that they're safe there, but clearly, like none 52 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: of us are ever safe anywhere. And I don't know 53 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: how to reconcile self care with being in a world 54 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 1: where our community is so fractured. UM. So that's kind 55 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: of where I'm at. We had planted the talk in 56 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: advance of all of this, and I still want us 57 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: to very much like talk on about what we had 58 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: thought we were going to talk about. But I do 59 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: think it's really important to acknowledge that people are all 60 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:16,480 Speaker 1: the things that you said, angry, distraught, scared, numb, devastated, 61 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: um in disbelief, in complete belief because it feels so normal. 62 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: I mean, that's the scariest thing, right, Like, how how 63 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: normalized this has become. And we see the social media 64 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,159 Speaker 1: memes that are going around right now and saying like, 65 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: don't be desensitized, But I mean it's hard not to 66 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 1: be right now, right exactly. Well, first of all, happy birthday. 67 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: What a big milestone, and then what an interesting day 68 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: for that to happen on I bet that was a 69 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: lot um yeah, And I you know, it's a really 70 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: interesting thing to have a podcast because in like, in 71 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: some ways you have this responsibility because you have a 72 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: community and a platform, and like I will say, Okay, 73 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: I can't not acknowledge what's going on. And there's another 74 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 1: side of me that's like I don't want to be 75 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: all doomsday, and I know everyone is taking in so 76 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 1: much information right now, um that I also feel at 77 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: the same time this like responsibility to bring joy to 78 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:30,039 Speaker 1: people and positivity and hope and um, and so I wanna, yeah, 79 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: I want to acknowledge what happened. And I know that 80 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,919 Speaker 1: I don't really necessarily feel this need to educate everyone 81 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: right now on like gun violence or gun laws and 82 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,919 Speaker 1: why this is happening, but I do want to acknowledge 83 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: the weight of all of it, and obviously we want 84 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: to send love out to all the families that have 85 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 1: been impacted by this. I truly cannot imagine to me 86 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: that the kids thing that is where it just like, 87 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: like all of it has been so bad lately and 88 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: for years, but when there are just innocent children going 89 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: to school, I like can't. There's something about that that 90 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: physically makes me want to throw up. Um And yeah, 91 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 1: I just I feel like we're imploding and have been 92 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: for a very long time, and I'm praying to God 93 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: that we finally start to pay attention and do something 94 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 1: that's That's like all I can say about it. Um 95 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: So anyway, and I will leave it with the Someone 96 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 1: shared this idea with me, which I think is really powerful. 97 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 1: If you're going to post about this on social media 98 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 1: and express any of the number of feelings that you 99 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: are feeling, in addition to doing that, obligate yourself to 100 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: take a step beyond. So, if you're going to give 101 00:06:53,480 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: yourself a soapbox, like get on there, but also donate money, 102 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: call it like you don't do it otherwise, like don't post, 103 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,159 Speaker 1: Like if you're not going to actually do something, don't 104 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: post that myself lately totally like I actually did that 105 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: before you said that. That's how I've been handling this 106 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,239 Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'm so sick of everyone just bitching 107 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: about ship. Like can we like either take an action 108 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: like you said, come up or bring me some solution, 109 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: like I need to find you know, I'm in recovery 110 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: and twelve step and like you can't live in the 111 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: problem forever because you want to die. So like the 112 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: whole reason twelve step works is because it gives you 113 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: the tools to then live in the solution. And we've 114 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: been living in the problem for a really long time 115 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: and we're so divided and everyone is just like so opinionated, 116 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: But like, what are you doing? You know, like, what 117 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: are you actually doing? What is a step? I know? 118 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: For me, I feel very helpless in this that I 119 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: don't know what to do. Um. The one thing I 120 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: posted about is a place that I donate to and 121 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: I have since the shootings happened in Vegas. Um oh gosh, 122 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: now I can't even remember the festival, but there's a 123 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: festive music festival that a lot of my friends, um, 124 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,559 Speaker 1: we're at and working and a lot of the artists 125 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 1: that I work with were there and so the second 126 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: that happened, I was like, I have to do something, 127 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: and so I started donated into this company. Are this 128 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: organization called every Town UM and they're really great and 129 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: very educational and they're really doing the work. So if 130 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: you guys want a tangible thing to do, go donate 131 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: five dollars even whatever you can give. And I'll also 132 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: add that every Town if you don't have money, to 133 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,679 Speaker 1: donate because it's an incredibly difficult time for a lot 134 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 1: of people. And just one way, they have these amazing 135 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: forms you can fill out that will auto email, write 136 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: a letter, you know, get in touch with your local representatives. Yes, 137 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: you literally just put your name in your address and 138 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: it takes care of the rest. Yes, if you can't 139 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: afford to give money, there are other ways without spending 140 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 1: more than two minutes of your time two make an impact. 141 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: So yes, that's I agree with you. Glenn and Doyle 142 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: also put up a really great podcast with a lot 143 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: of resources and um information just about gun laws and 144 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 1: things we can do in action steps. So if you're 145 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,319 Speaker 1: feeling like Melody and our feeling, UM, maybe take a 146 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: next right step and see what you can do. And yeah, 147 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: let's let's all if I feel like, if everyone just 148 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: takes one next right step, maybe it starts moving us 149 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,719 Speaker 1: into the right direction of something. I think this is 150 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:43,319 Speaker 1: even bigger than guns. Obviously, this is a whole epidemic 151 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: of just like mental health, lack of self love, which 152 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: is what you and I talk so much about, all 153 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: of the things that we're just so mad and there's 154 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: so much violence and hatred and anger and all of 155 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 1: these things that we're not processing that as human beings. 156 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 1: You eventually expla So anyway, um, let's get to while 157 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 1: we did actually come here today and it actually started 158 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: on Instagram, well, let me go back. You and I 159 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: connected years ago. It's so interesting because I was writing 160 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: down notes for this and I was like, oh my gosh, 161 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,319 Speaker 1: my good friend, and I'm like, I've never never actually 162 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:25,559 Speaker 1: even met you in birth. It was that crazy, um, 163 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: because I feel like you have been such a big 164 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 1: part of some really important conversations in my life and 165 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: shifts and changes and um, well, so first of all, 166 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: thank you, But that just shows the power of technology 167 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: and social media and all of these things that we 168 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 1: met many years ago. When I discovered you because of 169 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: your self love movement, with Fred and Farr, which is 170 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: a pinky ring that you created UM for women who 171 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: instead of just you know, focusing so much on I 172 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 1: have to get married to find love and peace. You 173 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 1: were like, no, you find love within you, and that 174 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 1: was kind of the symbol for that, and so I 175 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: bothering many years ago. I still have it. I still 176 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: wear it is one of my most treasured pieces of jewelry. UM. 177 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,559 Speaker 1: And now everything has shifted into an even bigger movement 178 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: for you. And the other way we connected was, well, 179 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 1: you know, maybe if you tell the story of why 180 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: you started Fred and Far, this is a part of 181 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: why you and I are so connected because what was 182 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: happening in your life at the moment that you decided 183 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: to just stop and pause and then it created this 184 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: whole self love movement in your life was sort of 185 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: where I ended up, and you helped talk me through 186 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: how to actually take a pause. So back us up. 187 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 1: Tell us about that part of your life. Yeah, I 188 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: was where I think a lot of people find themselves, 189 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: which is on a runaway train called accomplishment. And my 190 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: ego is driving the train, and my worth was completely 191 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: contingent on things like my activity, how far I was 192 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: getting in my career like all external validation type metrics, 193 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: and I just kept pushing and pushing and pushing and thinking, 194 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 1: if I checked more boxes than the prize waiting for 195 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: me at the station is happiness and joy. And I 196 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: got to the station. I checked all the boxes. I 197 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: was married, I had kids, I had a house, I 198 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: had a career. UM And at the station I found 199 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: nothing because I had left myself behind. I had pushed 200 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: myself so far away from who I actually am, and 201 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 1: I had neglected to care for myself and prioritize myself 202 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: to such a degree that even though I had everything 203 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,839 Speaker 1: I thought I wanted, I wasn't able to enjoy any 204 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: of it. And that really sucked. It Really, like our 205 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: whole lives, everything is about the happily ever after. It 206 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 1: doesn't matter what you endure, as long as at the 207 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: end you get the payoff. And to reach what I 208 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 1: thought was the pinnacle and have nothing waiting for me 209 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 1: there UM made me question everything, every decision I had 210 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 1: ever made, every aspect of who I was UM and 211 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: I decided it was January when all of this happened 212 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: in and I decided that I'm going to commit to 213 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 1: knowing myself. I'm going to choose myself. I'm going to 214 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 1: love myself. I'm going to become more aware of who 215 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,079 Speaker 1: my authentic self is and what she needs, and I'm 216 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,840 Speaker 1: going to start changing my life to put her in 217 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 1: the driver's seat. And that's when I came up with 218 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: the idea for the self love pink earing because I 219 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: needed a reminder. It wasn't easy for me to all 220 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 1: of a sudden shift gears and change everything about how 221 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: I was living and how I was thinking. And so 222 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: every day I would look at the sparkly ring on 223 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: my pinky finger, a ring I had never worn before, 224 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,959 Speaker 1: and I thought, Okay, my ring is my reminder. When 225 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: I look at it, I'm going to ask myself, how 226 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: am I showing up for myself today? And that was 227 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: the beginning of a really transformative era in my life, 228 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: because what came next is creating a self love movement 229 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 1: where I was able to connect with women like you 230 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 1: all over the world, who each slipped on a ring 231 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 1: and decided to choose themselves right along with me. And 232 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: for me, rediscovering my authentic self meant instead of a 233 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: career as a lawyer, which I had been, or an entrepreneur, 234 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: like a business entrepreneur. It was time for me to 235 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 1: become a writer again, which is something I was when 236 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 1: I was really young. And I started writing, and now, um, 237 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: six seven years later, I'm a full time author, which 238 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: is a complete one eighty from where I was when 239 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 1: I realized in twenty fifteen that I wasn't actually present 240 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 1: or happy in my life. And yeah, that's where we're 241 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: at now. I actually love that you just said six 242 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: or seven years later, um, because as you were talking, 243 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: I was thinking when I bought that ring or the 244 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: first ring that I got was gosh, I wish I 245 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: could remember. Okay, it was seen. So this is and 246 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 1: I left myself so many times in between those in 247 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: those years, like I knew that I wanted to have 248 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: self love, and I knew that that was a journey 249 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to go on. Like you just described, I 250 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: did not know how I did not, um really understand 251 00:15:55,560 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: how disconnected from myself I actually really was. And so 252 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 1: it's not like you all of a sudden just decide, Okay, 253 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna love myself and it happens. 254 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: But I do think that it's like these little steps 255 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: that happened like the second I bought that ring, I 256 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 1: was like, you know what, A lot of my friends 257 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: are married, they have kids, and I was a single 258 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 1: girl and I was um building a career and I 259 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 1: was stressed out, Like I was just stressed about it all. 260 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: I was feeling the pressure. I was having really big 261 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 1: battles within myself of the programming and just feeling very 262 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 1: much less than because I wasn't but I also didn't. 263 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to do that to myself. 264 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: I just knew I didn't want to do it to myself, 265 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: but I still was doing it. Like I still then 266 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: got in a relationship, tried to control and do all 267 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 1: these things with my career, all of these things that 268 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 1: were not in line with me, but that were me 269 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 1: trying to do the life that you first described of 270 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: checking all the boxes. Um. And you know it exploded, 271 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: as it does when that happened. Are you get to 272 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: the end of it and you're not happy? Um? But 273 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: because of all the abandonment, I think I was able 274 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,679 Speaker 1: to take small steps and recognizing different ways that I 275 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 1: was leaving myself, and that has begun my true self 276 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: love journey because it's all about just reconnecting or even 277 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: developing the relationship with yourself. Well, I think you know 278 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: you touched on two things that I think are really, really, 279 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 1: really important. One is this idea of control. The ego 280 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 1: in all of us, that external facing like I want 281 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,359 Speaker 1: to show the world I'm perfect. Part of us thrives 282 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: on control. The more we can control, the safer our 283 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:47,679 Speaker 1: ego feels. Our authentic self, however, is exactly the opposite. 284 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 1: It thrives when we surrender, when we pause, when we 285 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:54,359 Speaker 1: let go, when we create space, which is all the 286 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: opposite of how we're programmed. We're programmed to be meticulous, 287 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: to be perfect, to be productive. And the more you 288 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: cling to that story, the less room your true self 289 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: has to breathe. And why is it important to honor 290 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: your true self? I think and believe that we are 291 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 1: all born with purpose. We are all one of a kind. 292 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:25,200 Speaker 1: We are all brought onto this earth as unique individuals. 293 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 1: And I don't think it's an accident. I think if 294 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: God or whatever you believe in, like science, however you 295 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: want to say, science could have made replicas. God could 296 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 1: have made replicas. Why is it that there is no 297 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: other equivalent to Kelly? Why is it that there's no 298 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 1: other equivalent past, present, future to melody. Well, maybe because 299 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: it's my My only job on this planet is to 300 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 1: be me. And so all that time I spent checking 301 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 1: boxes and doing what I thought I was supposed to do, 302 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: I wasn't honoring my purpose, which is simply to be myself. 303 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,120 Speaker 1: And I only know what my true self wants when 304 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: I do less, when I struggle less, when I control less. 305 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,640 Speaker 1: And unfortunately, when you're in a do more kind of culture, 306 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: it's really hard to choose to stop, to listen, to 307 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 1: create space, to trust. That's not the world we live in. 308 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 1: But once you do those things, I do believe that 309 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,680 Speaker 1: that's when our intuition starts speaking to us, and our 310 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: intuition is the voice of your authentic self. And then 311 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,399 Speaker 1: you'll never feel lost again, because you'll always know what 312 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 1: you are truly meant to be doing. And that's why 313 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: you feel at home, is because you have your voice back, 314 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: your voice that tells you not what you should do, 315 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 1: but who you are and how you can just simply 316 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:55,199 Speaker 1: by being you make the most meaningful contribution to the 317 00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: world possible. This is the second time in one week 318 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: that I have had a conversation about uniqueness. Like that's 319 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,159 Speaker 1: the word that's been used twice now. And it was 320 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: interesting in the last conversation I had because she she 321 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,879 Speaker 1: brought it up in the terms of um women in 322 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 1: our bodies, you know, like and this is not a knock. 323 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: I'm actually not. I don't. I don't feel good anymore 324 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: when I knock other women. It just really gross to me. 325 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: So I'm not knocking the Kardashians, Okay, I'm saying, you know, 326 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 1: they have UM created sort of this movement. They've been 327 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,119 Speaker 1: a very and in our culture, it's become this big 328 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: thing of like the big but the big boobs, and 329 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: it's based off of other women's shapes and all these 330 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 1: sizes too. They are beautiful women. I actually really believe that, UM. 331 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 1: I am built a completely different way, Like I'm really 332 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: tall and skinny, I have no boobs and like all 333 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,239 Speaker 1: this stuff. And it's interesting because like I've spent a 334 00:20:55,240 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 1: lot of my thirties I think, trying to look the 335 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:05,439 Speaker 1: best that I could and like contemplating surgeries and all 336 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 1: these things. And I mean, if that's what you want 337 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,400 Speaker 1: to do, I again just support everyone feeling like their 338 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: best selves. But the word unique comes back into play 339 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 1: because it's like, but gosh, doesn't it get so boring? 340 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 1: Like I feel like everyone is starting to look exactly 341 00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: the same, and um, like, I'm sitting here on this 342 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,120 Speaker 1: zoom call with us, and first of all, we both 343 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: were like, yeah, I'm not looking my best day, So 344 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,880 Speaker 1: maybe we wouldn't shouldn't post that video, but actually maybe 345 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:34,440 Speaker 1: we should because it's just sort of like, you know what, Yeah, 346 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,640 Speaker 1: I like, who cares? We're here talking about self love 347 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 1: and I five minutes before I'm like, I look like ship, 348 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,640 Speaker 1: can we please not post it? I thought the same thing. 349 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is it? This is I woke up today, 350 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: I went for a one hour walk, which is a 351 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 1: big deal for me, time to put makeup on, didn't 352 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 1: have time to brush my hair, and it doesn't matter myself, 353 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,120 Speaker 1: but I but I took care of myself. I could 354 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,639 Speaker 1: have skipped the walk and put on a face like 355 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 1: that has been a better thing, No, I mean externally 356 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: by the world we live in. Sure, but like again, 357 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,120 Speaker 1: I did the same thing. I was on set until 358 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 1: super late last night. I didn't go to bed until 359 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,880 Speaker 1: after midnight, which is like a lot for me, and 360 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,119 Speaker 1: I slept in but I woke up this morning and 361 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I could start doing I could 362 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,400 Speaker 1: really start doing right now, even though my body, everything 363 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,360 Speaker 1: in my body is telling me no. Um, And so 364 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: I just I was like, but I'm not going to 365 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,240 Speaker 1: do that because that is how I got exactly where 366 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: I got for the last time we talked, and I'll 367 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 1: dive into that in just a second. But like it 368 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,639 Speaker 1: doesn't serve me anymore, and like it doesn't serve me 369 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 1: to try to look like Kim Kardashian although I think 370 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: she's a beautiful woman. I'm Kelly Henderson. I'm not Kim Kardashian, 371 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 1: And um, I think what serves me is to take 372 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: the breaks when I need it, to rest, when I 373 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 1: needed to go on a walk, when I need it, 374 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 1: To not force myself to be this picture perfect image, 375 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 1: To own who I am, to own my uniqueness and 376 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: my body and my what I bring, um, and to 377 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 1: not put any other pressures on ourselves. And that's when 378 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:21,639 Speaker 1: your actual true light really does start to shine. And 379 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: you know, Kelly, I've like experimented with this so many times. 380 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 1: Tell me everything you know I have like I have, 381 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:33,120 Speaker 1: you know, social media accounts like everybody else and I experiment, 382 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, let me post a picture of myself 383 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 1: from my very expensive photo shoot where I had hair 384 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 1: and makeup and everything was retouched. Right, I'll post that photo. 385 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: And I'm like, then, let me take a selfie after 386 00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,919 Speaker 1: I worked out, and I'm like, sweating and gross, and 387 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 1: let's see which one does better. One of the time 388 00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: people connect with the raw photo. They do not connect 389 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 1: with the polished photo. Yeah. Well, even though we are 390 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 1: in this culture that prizes perfection, and we all feel 391 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 1: inclined to like do so much to erase our lives 392 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,919 Speaker 1: from our bodies, so like every wrinkle, every spot, like 393 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: every sign of life needs to be removed so that 394 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:23,120 Speaker 1: we look like mannekins when push comes to shove. Even 395 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian, if she posts a picture where she has 396 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 1: no makeup on and she's smiling with her kid, I 397 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 1: promise you that will outperform any photo where she's in 398 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,560 Speaker 1: her you know, Kim kard cosmetics. Yeah. I actually said 399 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,159 Speaker 1: to a friend the other day for some reason, we 400 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: were talking about this, and I was like, God, she's 401 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: so pretty without makeup, Like that is actually my thought. Um, 402 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,720 Speaker 1: And I mean, listen, this is like this is such 403 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 1: off on a tangent, but this is just to all women. 404 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 1: Of course, we want to look good. I have a 405 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: whole career based off of people looking good, like it 406 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 1: is my life on so many levels. But I've really 407 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 1: like in the last I would say, five years, you know, 408 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 1: as much as I was getting so focused on that, 409 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,119 Speaker 1: I was realizing how empty I felt inside because I 410 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: don't think it has to just be like okay. It 411 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: was because my life was becoming very singularly focused and like, 412 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 1: to me, true beauty is a marriage of the two 413 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:25,400 Speaker 1: maybe and and when you're completely connected to yourself, or 414 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: you're really working on your inner like your insides in general, 415 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,960 Speaker 1: whatever that looks like for you, that is when you're 416 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: the most beautiful. It's one of the poems that I 417 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:39,119 Speaker 1: wrote is all of Me Loves all of Me. M 418 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,879 Speaker 1: really simple. But what what that means to me is 419 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 1: that I am embracing the fact that I am a 420 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 1: complex person. There's this Walt Whitman poem that says I 421 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 1: contain multitudes, and that's always resonated with me because I do. 422 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,679 Speaker 1: And it is with all of those distinct parts of 423 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:05,120 Speaker 1: myself that I love, all of the distinct parts of myself. 424 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: That means that sometimes I love to be in full 425 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: glam and like feel absolutely gorgeous. And I'm working on 426 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,840 Speaker 1: not feeling shameful or less than when I don't present 427 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: to the world that way. It's not about saying one 428 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: is better than the other. It's about figuring out how 429 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: do I embody that same confidence when I show up 430 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,400 Speaker 1: in a different way. M hm. And I think I'm 431 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:43,199 Speaker 1: getting there because I'm embracing the multitudes within myself and 432 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 1: there's power in that. There's power and not being so 433 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: narrow in our definition of what is acceptable for us 434 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:54,239 Speaker 1: to share with the world. And and one more like 435 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: ultra tangent on this that I think is really important. Um, 436 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 1: as I've approached forty, my body is changing like at 437 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: like such a rappet pace, and I like have gained 438 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 1: some weight in my stomach that I've never had before, 439 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 1: like even after having twins, after having my son, like 440 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 1: I've always had the flattest stomach, and I don't right now. 441 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: And so what did I do? Like I started googling 442 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: like control top underwear and spanks and this and that, 443 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 1: and like I you know, was on the cusp of 444 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 1: buying all this ship to hide my body. And then 445 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: I asked myself, who am I actually doing this for? 446 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 1: And that was a really powerful question because I realized, like, oh, 447 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:43,160 Speaker 1: I'm doing this to make other people more comfortable when 448 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: they look at my body, because at the end of 449 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: the day, like when I think about how I look 450 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: in my own head, I always look great. Like I'm 451 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: not somebody who thinks in my mind, oh my god, 452 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,359 Speaker 1: you're so gross, you're so fat, You're so this. I 453 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 1: thankfully like don't have that narrative. So if I'm spending 454 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: hundreds of dollars on smoothing appliances, it's not because I 455 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,359 Speaker 1: need to make my own brain feel better. It's to 456 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: make other people comfortable. And I am done with that. Like, 457 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:18,120 Speaker 1: my forties are not going to be about changing my 458 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: body or my mind or whatever to fit in the 459 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 1: mold of what other people have decided is okay. And 460 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,400 Speaker 1: I think the self love pinky ring was part of that, 461 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: like breaking this mold of like the engagement ring is 462 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: the only ring anyone should covet in their lives, like 463 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: something that represents a belonging to someone else, Like I'm 464 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: going to break that mold. I'm going to belong to 465 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 1: myself and I'm gonna wear a beautiful fucking reminder of that. 466 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: Excuse my language earlier, And I'm just thinking, like in 467 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 1: my forties house, can I continue to do that? How 468 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 1: else can I? I'm not this is not like a 469 00:28:54,840 --> 00:29:00,320 Speaker 1: funk the world thing. It's yeah, it's totally uh hey, world, 470 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 1: I'm cool with me. Like your reaction to me is 471 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 1: not my responsibility anymore. Um. I love that, right, yeah. 472 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 1: Because also, like there's a couple of things popping up 473 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 1: for me. One is like people are not just one 474 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,400 Speaker 1: dimensional like we said, And so if we're trying to 475 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 1: make ourselves constantly a certain thing, like constantly look pretty, 476 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: constantly fit in a size whatever, um, it isn't realistic. 477 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 1: And so you're always going to feel this let down 478 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 1: thing or this pressure. And like you said this earlier, 479 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 1: but there is so much freedom and just being you know, 480 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 1: and then not forcing and all of those things. And 481 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 1: I've heard people say like, oh, people say like love yourself, 482 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 1: and it's like you're just trying to be okay with 483 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 1: being fat or whatever it is, and like I'm not 484 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: sitting here being like be unhealthy and don't take care 485 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000 Speaker 1: of yourself to me that self love, like you know, 486 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 1: taking care of my body in a healthy way. But 487 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 1: I know I have been really prune to beating my 488 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 1: body up to fit in a certain mold or to 489 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 1: feel like I had control over what people thought of me, 490 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,320 Speaker 1: Like I've used my physical appearance. And this is because 491 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,280 Speaker 1: of how I was. I kind of came up, you know, 492 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 1: like I used to model and all these things, and 493 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 1: so there's a different kind of pressure because then you 494 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 1: realize you get attention from people with certain things, So 495 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: then it becomes this control tactic for you of being 496 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,240 Speaker 1: in power, like you're like, it's like how some people 497 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: build a big business and that's their form of power 498 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: and success so that they have the one up on people, 499 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,239 Speaker 1: Like well, this was this thing that I had, and 500 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 1: so I just felt in control or power that way. 501 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 1: It's not real like it it's all creating this false 502 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: sense of security, and it's based on something that I 503 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't want people to be drawn to me for anyway. 504 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: So it's just such a like I don't know, but anyway, 505 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,520 Speaker 1: I'm saying all of that to say that I love 506 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,400 Speaker 1: the piece about accepting all of you, and and it 507 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 1: just ebbing and flowing It's that thing that, like I 508 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,520 Speaker 1: say to myself sometimes like do something or else say 509 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,880 Speaker 1: something to someone. I'm like, oh, like that was not 510 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 1: my best, but I can't do anything about it because 511 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 1: I already said it, right, So I can make amends 512 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: where necessary, and then I can also make a note 513 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: of like, yeah, that didn't feel so good, so I'm 514 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: going to do it different next time. And that's the 515 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 1: thing with our bodies too, and our looks. It's like, well, 516 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 1: maybe I have gained five pounds or whatever it is, 517 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 1: and I don't really like that and it doesn't feel 518 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 1: like my healthiest self. I'm not going to beat myself 519 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 1: up about it, but I can start making different decisions 520 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 1: or it like that right there. It's having space for 521 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 1: your inner voice to talk to you so you can 522 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 1: reflect on what's happening. When you're busy trying to thrust 523 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:57,920 Speaker 1: yourself in a mold and you are unequivocally committed to 524 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 1: that mold, there's no room or that voice because it's 525 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: all about fitting into the mold. Whatever you've decided, that 526 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 1: very narrow you know, the thing is of who you are. Um, 527 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: I've learned so much about myself allowing my inner voice 528 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 1: to talk and sometimes things that I thought were important 529 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: to me, I've realized like, actually, no, it's not. But 530 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: it's only when I let go of that like intense 531 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:31,640 Speaker 1: uh control narrative that like I'm only safe if I'm 532 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 1: in perfect control. That now I realized that like what 533 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,360 Speaker 1: I actually want maybe has shifted and that's okay, Or 534 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: how I want to show up in the world maybe 535 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 1: has shifted. And maybe today I'm a size ten, maybe 536 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,239 Speaker 1: tomorrow these size eight, and I you know, and I'm 537 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,400 Speaker 1: gonna shift and flow with all. Well. I think the 538 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 1: perfect example of what you just described was what was 539 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,760 Speaker 1: happening to me when we had the last conversation or 540 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,920 Speaker 1: maybe it was was it two conversations ago now I 541 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,240 Speaker 1: can't even remember. I think we did a check in 542 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,840 Speaker 1: after this, But um, I had known you to be 543 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: a person that talked about the importance of a pause, 544 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 1: and I had bumped up against extreme major burnout, I 545 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 1: would say, to the point of a nervous breakdown, and 546 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 1: you guys can listen to the conversation that I very 547 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: rawly just explained all of that to Melody on on 548 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 1: the podcast because she helped kind of guide me through 549 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 1: the power of the pause, and so much of what 550 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 1: even got me to that place was the striving was 551 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,000 Speaker 1: thinking that I needed to fit in a certain box. 552 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: And I literally thought that if I stopped, I would 553 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 1: lose everything and my world would crash so far down, 554 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 1: um that I would never be able to get out 555 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 1: of it. And you guided me through just like actually 556 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 1: taking a break and breathing and taking care of yourself 557 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: and how that was the most powerful thing, and it 558 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: ended up being for me, the most powerful thing that 559 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 1: I could do for me. It was the situation where 560 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 1: like I really had no other choice because I was 561 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 1: in such a bad state. But I think for a 562 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,040 Speaker 1: lot of us were kind of bumping up against that 563 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 1: right now with the times of just like this overwhelmed. 564 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,359 Speaker 1: Like we're talking about the gun stuff earlier, but it's 565 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,319 Speaker 1: been this consistent thing with COVID and like all of 566 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: the all of the other divisiveness in our country and 567 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,840 Speaker 1: what's happening. Um, I think it's like really impacting people. 568 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: And so we're feeling this this burnout and this like 569 00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 1: I don't know where to go, and so taking the 570 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 1: time to realize you don't have to put so much 571 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 1: pressure on your life and what it needs to look 572 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 1: like at all times and just kind of accepting the 573 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 1: human nature of all of us and taking the pause, 574 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,279 Speaker 1: like you said, to connect is truly maybe the most 575 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,839 Speaker 1: important tool that any of us have. And and I 576 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,440 Speaker 1: really want to take a second and like illustrate, at 577 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:56,920 Speaker 1: least for me, like what that looks like. Yeah, I 578 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 1: think it's really a two part thing. First, I think 579 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 1: we all deserve to have some clarity about what actually 580 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 1: matters to us, Like if you had to strip everything 581 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:12,160 Speaker 1: away and really get real with yourself about what your 582 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: priority is, deciding what that is, committing to it, and 583 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,480 Speaker 1: then asking yourself, what am I willing to let go 584 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:25,560 Speaker 1: of to truly prioritize what I say matters most to me. 585 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,600 Speaker 1: And this is hard because we all want to have 586 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,520 Speaker 1: it all all the time, and it's hard to let 587 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,719 Speaker 1: go of anything. It feels like you're losing when you 588 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: let go. But in order to have more space for 589 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 1: what matters, you have to let go of something or 590 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:45,479 Speaker 1: many things. For me, at the end of last year, 591 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,359 Speaker 1: I've had like a thyroid condition that I've known about 592 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 1: for six years, and at the end of last year 593 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,040 Speaker 1: in September, I got an additional diagnosis, so I had 594 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,720 Speaker 1: thyroid nodules, which, by the way, if you're a woman, 595 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:03,520 Speaker 1: please get chest act like check your thorid levels. All 596 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,520 Speaker 1: all women, I promise you, at some point in their lives, 597 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,359 Speaker 1: will have an issue in that area and they don't 598 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,400 Speaker 1: know about it. That's like a whole other conversation. But 599 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: I knew I had issues. But then I got another 600 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 1: diagnosis in September um of hashimotos, which is an autoimmune 601 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:25,200 Speaker 1: disease that my doctors had completely overlooked because oftentimes, unfortunately 602 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,919 Speaker 1: doctors don't listen when you tell them you don't feel 603 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,880 Speaker 1: good um, which is what had happened to me. I 604 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 1: had been saying for years, I don't feel good, and 605 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,440 Speaker 1: the answer I was getting is, but your levels are fine. 606 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 1: And that went on for a long time. Finally, long 607 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 1: story short, I got the diagnosis and I decided, at 608 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 1: the end of two is going to be devoted to health. 609 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:52,880 Speaker 1: Health is my number one priority, not just mine, but 610 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,680 Speaker 1: also my families, because my kids had some stuff that 611 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 1: needed attention to. And what did I have to let 612 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,080 Speaker 1: go of? That's the second piece. And I had to 613 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,279 Speaker 1: let go of my business because if I'm grinding and 614 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:10,480 Speaker 1: hustling and working and selling. There is no room for 615 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:16,919 Speaker 1: me to actually pause, take walks, research supplements, make doctor appointments, 616 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,359 Speaker 1: take my kid out of state to get the care 617 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,640 Speaker 1: she needed. So I knew what I needed to do. 618 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 1: I knew I needed to cut back on my business. 619 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,640 Speaker 1: And here's when things got really crazy. So I made 620 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:35,800 Speaker 1: that decision in December, and I decided February I'm gonna 621 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,279 Speaker 1: stop working. End of January, my nanny, who's been living 622 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:45,280 Speaker 1: with us for ten years left totally out of the blue. 623 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,720 Speaker 1: So now I went from having the help I needed 624 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,919 Speaker 1: to be able to work work full time to having 625 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 1: no help. So then it was like, okay, great, Like 626 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:57,240 Speaker 1: I said, I'm gonna stop working. Now I have no choice. 627 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,120 Speaker 1: I have to stop working. But here's the funny ing. 628 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:06,320 Speaker 1: Because I don't have help at home anymore, I'm doing 629 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:10,439 Speaker 1: all these physical things. I'm cleaning the kitchen, I'm doing 630 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 1: the dishes, I'm doing the laundry. I'm constantly in motion, 631 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,840 Speaker 1: which is the opposite of what I was before. Before 632 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 1: I go sit in front of the computer and work 633 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,600 Speaker 1: for ten hours at a time and not move an inch. 634 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,839 Speaker 1: What do you think has happened now that I am 635 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:30,040 Speaker 1: forced to move around? So much all day long. My 636 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:36,120 Speaker 1: health got better. Yeah, my health has improve Wow. And 637 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:40,200 Speaker 1: it's just this is like such a small little story, 638 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,239 Speaker 1: but I really do think that it's a good reminder 639 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 1: that setting intentions is different than mapping out a strategy. 640 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:53,719 Speaker 1: It's about knowing exactly how everything is going to play 641 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,239 Speaker 1: out and being in control. That strategy is like a 642 00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:02,920 Speaker 1: very controlling thing. It's about having intention, removing the major 643 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 1: roadblock to that intention, and surrendering to the process. I 644 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 1: did that, and here are the magical things that have 645 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:16,960 Speaker 1: happened since then. My health has improved. My daughter was 646 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:21,440 Speaker 1: able to get a life save, life changing surgery at 647 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 1: Seattle Children's Hospital that she needed for a knee condition 648 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,759 Speaker 1: that she's had since she was born, a condition that 649 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,040 Speaker 1: doctors here told me there's nothing you'll ever be able 650 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,879 Speaker 1: to do. And now she's running around and biking and 651 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:39,280 Speaker 1: playing and doing all the things she really couldn't do. Um, 652 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:43,640 Speaker 1: So talk about health. My son and I have bonded. 653 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,000 Speaker 1: We're in love with each other. He's four years old. 654 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,480 Speaker 1: Before that, like we saw each other in passing. I'd 655 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,759 Speaker 1: see him like in the morning for a little and 656 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,040 Speaker 1: at night for a little, and like to say, we 657 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,120 Speaker 1: had no relationship. Might be like a little bit of 658 00:39:56,160 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 1: an over statement, but we are so bonded. My husband 659 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,839 Speaker 1: and I now for the first time, are totally aligned 660 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 1: about what our goals are as a family. We were 661 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:13,200 Speaker 1: living in like parallel lives, like we were you know 662 00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:16,360 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like we He was working, working, working, 663 00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:20,920 Speaker 1: I was working, working, working, and we were not aligned 664 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,680 Speaker 1: at all in terms of what we wanted for each 665 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:27,200 Speaker 1: other as a family. Now we're like like this for 666 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,799 Speaker 1: the first time ever because we're deciding that we're going 667 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 1: to be aligned instead of just living parallel lives. Um, 668 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 1: my books are doing great, like something that is like 669 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,960 Speaker 1: an absolute dream come true because I've again like graded 670 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,360 Speaker 1: space for them. I could go on and on, but 671 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,359 Speaker 1: it all stemmed from becoming crystal clear about what is 672 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,160 Speaker 1: my priority, What am I going to make my intention 673 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,919 Speaker 1: for my life, and what am I willing to give 674 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 1: up almost almost like a ritual, right like what am 675 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,960 Speaker 1: I willing to sacrifice or put a pause on or 676 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:08,040 Speaker 1: create space through to honor that intention? And then I 677 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:14,759 Speaker 1: was just open. I was gonna ask you because when 678 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: we initially like you reached out to me, because you 679 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 1: just reached out to me on Instagram and you're like, 680 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,440 Speaker 1: how are you? And I was like, you know, I'm 681 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,759 Speaker 1: actually doing okay. Like you know, we kind of just 682 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 1: check in with each other every now and again because 683 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,160 Speaker 1: I think you've seen me for sure and some of 684 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,560 Speaker 1: my lowest times and so um, it was not kind 685 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,359 Speaker 1: of this check it. And you wrote back and you said, 686 00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,200 Speaker 1: you know I can tell, and I was like, I 687 00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,440 Speaker 1: wanted to ask you, first of all, what that meant, 688 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:42,319 Speaker 1: Like what do you mean by that? I feel like 689 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 1: for a lot of the time that I've known you, 690 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,200 Speaker 1: a lot of what you would put out there came 691 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,400 Speaker 1: from a place of like I need to put this 692 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 1: out there. It was driven by like I should, I must. 693 00:41:54,840 --> 00:42:00,319 Speaker 1: And the shift lately has been like I see more light, 694 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,279 Speaker 1: more spontaneity, more I want instead of this, you know, 695 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:08,359 Speaker 1: like this, Yeah, like that's how I mean. It's all 696 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,200 Speaker 1: content right, Like you and I have not spoken, so 697 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:16,040 Speaker 1: it's literally like through this lens of just experiencing you 698 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,880 Speaker 1: on social media, the vibe I get it feels more free, 699 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 1: Whereas the more it felt like there was a lot 700 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,000 Speaker 1: of stuff you just had to put out there. Well 701 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 1: that was the case because it was very um either 702 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:35,080 Speaker 1: obligation driven because of contracts I had, or money driven 703 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,120 Speaker 1: because you know, of what I felt like I had 704 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:41,400 Speaker 1: to do for that, and just consistency. And when you 705 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,960 Speaker 1: build a business online, it's a really weird pressure of 706 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,360 Speaker 1: like because you're you're getting all this information, Like I 707 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:52,400 Speaker 1: have a had a blog rap who would constantly be 708 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:56,319 Speaker 1: feeding me this like a certain amount of things to 709 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,160 Speaker 1: do to get the algorithm to you know, it's just 710 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,120 Speaker 1: like numb and numbers and numbers and numbers. I didn't 711 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,000 Speaker 1: even know what I was posting half the time. It 712 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,279 Speaker 1: was it was obligatory, like you said, And it's so 713 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,319 Speaker 1: wonderful to hear that it's reading differently because it is 714 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,040 Speaker 1: different in that like I don't really know how else 715 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,359 Speaker 1: to be anymore. It's sort of like none of it 716 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,839 Speaker 1: actually really like feels good to me unless I really 717 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,000 Speaker 1: want to say it or um. And because of so 718 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,960 Speaker 1: much of the crash, it felt like I did have 719 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:32,440 Speaker 1: to let go of what it was because I couldn't 720 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,799 Speaker 1: one physically do it, like my body was completely shutting down. 721 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,760 Speaker 1: But to like, our whole world has changed in my opinion, 722 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,120 Speaker 1: and so like posting about what I'm wearing too, everything 723 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,279 Speaker 1: feels kind of stupid sometimes, you know, every now and again, 724 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,399 Speaker 1: I like to do it. I love fashion, but like 725 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,799 Speaker 1: I don't really care in the same way I used to. Um, 726 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,560 Speaker 1: And so you're exactly right. But I think I was 727 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,839 Speaker 1: thinking of that because when when you said that to me, 728 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,080 Speaker 1: I was like, huh, that's so interesting. And I could 729 00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,600 Speaker 1: go on and on about why that is. But I 730 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,719 Speaker 1: do believe most of it is about detaching from outcomes 731 00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,839 Speaker 1: and and letting go of what you think you have 732 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,120 Speaker 1: to have, like you were just saying, and like in 733 00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:13,080 Speaker 1: my life, what I've really been trying to do lately, 734 00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:16,680 Speaker 1: even um and this was this was probably a product 735 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:20,359 Speaker 1: of COVID, if I'm being honest, because my whole world disappeared, 736 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,600 Speaker 1: like I said, and that happened to me in different 737 00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:26,919 Speaker 1: avenues as well. But like when everything disappears, you sort 738 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:31,160 Speaker 1: of realize what you actually need to live. And um, 739 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,680 Speaker 1: one of the things that I really realized was like, 740 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,480 Speaker 1: if I let go of a lot of this stuff 741 00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,719 Speaker 1: that I'm striving for, my overhead really isn't that much. 742 00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,080 Speaker 1: So like I don't need as much money as I 743 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,879 Speaker 1: even think I do to survive. So once I took 744 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,400 Speaker 1: that off the table, like the pressures of being a 745 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 1: single girl and like building a certain kind of life. Um, 746 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,680 Speaker 1: of course I still want a really nice life. But 747 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:58,640 Speaker 1: like everyone here pretty much or you know me for sure, 748 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:02,560 Speaker 1: like I live a great life. Like I'm okay, we're very, 749 00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:04,960 Speaker 1: I'm very I have a lot to be grateful for, 750 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,880 Speaker 1: and um, and it's okay if I'm not the richest 751 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,719 Speaker 1: person that I know or whatever, Like I just need 752 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,760 Speaker 1: enough to feed myself and keep this roof over my head. 753 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:19,840 Speaker 1: And we're so aligned because for the first time in 754 00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:24,400 Speaker 1: literally my entire life, I am in the same place. 755 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, why did I put so much pressure on 756 00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:33,680 Speaker 1: myself to be richer? Right? Because look, I'm privileged. Anyone 757 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:37,160 Speaker 1: listening to this can tell like, yeah, privileged, I live 758 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:41,160 Speaker 1: a very nice life. Um, I am not struggling by 759 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,000 Speaker 1: any stretch of the imagination. But I'm also not like 760 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,919 Speaker 1: a multi millionaire, do you know what I mean? Same? Yeah. 761 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:51,080 Speaker 1: I always thought that, like, in order to feel safe, 762 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,919 Speaker 1: I need to have a boatload of money. In order 763 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,239 Speaker 1: to feel happy, I need to have more money. Like 764 00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:01,160 Speaker 1: I live in a really nice house. I always thought, well, 765 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,560 Speaker 1: we're going to knock this house down and build a 766 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,880 Speaker 1: better house that was always the back of my mind, 767 00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:07,839 Speaker 1: and not even just on the back of my mind. 768 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,279 Speaker 1: Like literally, my poor husband has like a post it 769 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,680 Speaker 1: over his work desk that's like home renovation as one 770 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,680 Speaker 1: of his goals. I told him last night. I was like, 771 00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on, but I don't need 772 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:26,000 Speaker 1: a better house. House is great, Like if we have money, 773 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,360 Speaker 1: let's invested in something. And you should have seen the 774 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:35,280 Speaker 1: look on his face. I wiped away, like so much pressure. 775 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:39,040 Speaker 1: I was just about to say, was it relief? Relief? Yeah, 776 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,759 Speaker 1: he wants to give me whatever I want. Like he's 777 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:45,879 Speaker 1: an incredible man and is really like the biggest expander 778 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:48,120 Speaker 1: I've ever had in my life. Like he came into 779 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,560 Speaker 1: my life and truly opened the doors for me to 780 00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:54,560 Speaker 1: be who I am. He did that for me, and 781 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,080 Speaker 1: I used to think I needed more, and now I 782 00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:02,040 Speaker 1: am realizing what I want is less. My house is 783 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 1: too full of stuff, Like there's just everything is too much. 784 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,000 Speaker 1: Like that's the vibe i' men right now. I'm like, 785 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:14,040 Speaker 1: how do I streamline? Yeah? You know what can I cut? Yeah? 786 00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,600 Speaker 1: And they've done all these studies that show that like 787 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:18,920 Speaker 1: after a certain amount of money, like having more money 788 00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:23,360 Speaker 1: doesn't make you happier. And it's like I never understood 789 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,040 Speaker 1: those studies. I was like, that person has never had 790 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,480 Speaker 1: a product. Person Like, clearly more does make you happier, 791 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:36,360 Speaker 1: but I don't think so anymore, not if having the 792 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:42,640 Speaker 1: more locks you into the cycle of anxiety and pressure 793 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:47,440 Speaker 1: and hustle and like never feeling like what you have 794 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:50,759 Speaker 1: is enough or that you are enough, Like if you 795 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,800 Speaker 1: can have more but still be like chill and peaceful 796 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,560 Speaker 1: in present and great, right, it's like at what expense? 797 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,080 Speaker 1: And that to me, that was one of the gifts 798 00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,840 Speaker 1: of COVID, Like I said, the music industry completely went away, 799 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:08,200 Speaker 1: and I was stressed. I mean that is, you know 800 00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:11,399 Speaker 1: how I pay my bills and so and I would say, 801 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,040 Speaker 1: though it's still hasn't come back, and it's still not 802 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,359 Speaker 1: I don't know that it will ever be like it was. 803 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:20,040 Speaker 1: And so I've had to really detach from this idea 804 00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:22,920 Speaker 1: that this industry is going to be the thing that 805 00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:27,399 Speaker 1: keeps me alive forever, like even like certain clients or 806 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,839 Speaker 1: you know, whatever it is. I'm like kind of like 807 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:34,640 Speaker 1: getting to this place of that will be painful to lose, 808 00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:36,879 Speaker 1: Like this is what the last three years have taught 809 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,960 Speaker 1: me that will be painful to lose and I will 810 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,400 Speaker 1: have to grieve. But if I lose anything in my life, 811 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,960 Speaker 1: and I'm saying this out loud so everyone can hold 812 00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,520 Speaker 1: me accountable, next time I lose something, remind me of this. 813 00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,760 Speaker 1: But like, if I lose something, what is the universe 814 00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,160 Speaker 1: opening up that space for? Because there's always this open 815 00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:59,640 Speaker 1: space when stuff leaves your life, and I just have 816 00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,400 Speaker 1: started to believing truly that that always is because the 817 00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:07,520 Speaker 1: universe is bringing you something completely different, bigger and better 818 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:12,040 Speaker 1: than you ever imagined um or more in line with 819 00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,440 Speaker 1: like what your next journey is supposed to be. Like 820 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,160 Speaker 1: all the stuff that was in my life has gotten 821 00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,880 Speaker 1: me to the person and the place that I am today, 822 00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,720 Speaker 1: but it couldn't come with me and me be this person, 823 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:28,160 Speaker 1: Like I couldn't hold on to such like these certain 824 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:32,480 Speaker 1: identities that I had, or these certain even financial places 825 00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:36,799 Speaker 1: that I was, and have the lessons come with me, 826 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:39,640 Speaker 1: or the evolution of who I am, even the self 827 00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:42,200 Speaker 1: love piece of it all, Like it wasn't going to 828 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 1: happen that way because it couldn't because they were lower 829 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,200 Speaker 1: vibrations truly, and so like I needed to let them 830 00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:52,400 Speaker 1: go it was very fucking painful. I mean, it was awful. 831 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,880 Speaker 1: It was there was so much panic, like I was, 832 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,200 Speaker 1: I just I think that's where I was, and I 833 00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:00,279 Speaker 1: kind of had that breakdown, was just pure pain neck 834 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,800 Speaker 1: because I was trying to still control the tiny little 835 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,680 Speaker 1: bit of what I had that I felt like I 836 00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,400 Speaker 1: could still control, and it was making me insane because 837 00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:12,640 Speaker 1: I couldn't. Like we really aren't in control, you know, 838 00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,400 Speaker 1: We're just here to keep showing up and see what 839 00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,520 Speaker 1: the universe has for us that day. And so anyway, 840 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,840 Speaker 1: all of that is to say that when you said 841 00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:22,600 Speaker 1: that to me, I was like, uh, that's so interesting. 842 00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:27,160 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe I am just living now more and not 843 00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,920 Speaker 1: putting so much pressure on myself. And you kind of 844 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:33,880 Speaker 1: identified with that as well. And you said the second 845 00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,200 Speaker 1: that you said, since the last time we had talked, 846 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:40,000 Speaker 1: like the second you just decided to let go, the 847 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,480 Speaker 1: universe opened up these doors. So is that what you 848 00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:46,120 Speaker 1: were describing with your health and all of that stuff. Yeah, 849 00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:51,279 Speaker 1: because I for so long had been holding on to 850 00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:56,880 Speaker 1: so many spinning plates and ultimately it's like none of 851 00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:00,080 Speaker 1: them were actually changing my life, right, you know it 852 00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:05,280 Speaker 1: meaningful way? You know, like I'm so grateful for everything 853 00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:07,279 Speaker 1: I've done in my career. I feel like the through 854 00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,840 Speaker 1: line has been that I'm committed to helping other people, 855 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,600 Speaker 1: and I've been really good at helping other people, But 856 00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,319 Speaker 1: I've also been good at using that a crutch as 857 00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:20,239 Speaker 1: a crutch to ignore helping myself. Like I get so 858 00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:26,879 Speaker 1: high on being a giver that I can forget that 859 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:31,959 Speaker 1: I deserve to give to myself too. And I'm also 860 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,560 Speaker 1: not good to anybody if I'm not here right and 861 00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,919 Speaker 1: like at the end of last year, I felt like 862 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:41,080 Speaker 1: I'm not even forty yet and I'm falling apart, like physically, 863 00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:44,440 Speaker 1: i don't feel good head to toe if I'm not 864 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,040 Speaker 1: willing to make that a priority, Like what good am 865 00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,640 Speaker 1: I to this world? Like if I'm not showing up 866 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:54,839 Speaker 1: as this like vibrant, energetic, creative, loving person that I 867 00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:59,680 Speaker 1: know I am. And I think we all make sacrifices, 868 00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,960 Speaker 1: like I think a lot of us, whether it's in 869 00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:05,880 Speaker 1: service to a company you work for, to your family 870 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,399 Speaker 1: that you're taking care of, or your friends that you let, 871 00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:12,520 Speaker 1: like complain to you for two hours at a time. Um, 872 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,080 Speaker 1: but I think we all need to be a little 873 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,600 Speaker 1: bit more mindful, Like you said, of the energy, Like 874 00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,120 Speaker 1: what is happening to our life force, to our energy 875 00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:24,240 Speaker 1: when we don't have boundaries? Um, And like you literally 876 00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,960 Speaker 1: just said this that in letting go of things, you 877 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,040 Speaker 1: had to put the focus on, like what am I 878 00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,640 Speaker 1: creating space for? What is the universe going to give me? 879 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,640 Speaker 1: And that's how I actually describe boundaries, Like boundaries aren't 880 00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:37,799 Speaker 1: about what you say no to, They're about what you 881 00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:42,759 Speaker 1: make space for. For me, the biggest change has been 882 00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:46,440 Speaker 1: I used to think that in order to create space, 883 00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:49,360 Speaker 1: I had to know what I was creating space. Four again, 884 00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:53,799 Speaker 1: control like okay, Like I want to focus on my health, 885 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,120 Speaker 1: Like okay, I should sign up for a trainer, I 886 00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:59,400 Speaker 1: should a titian. I should like I would try to, 887 00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:05,000 Speaker 1: like my chro manage the outcome. Whereas now I'm learning 888 00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:10,600 Speaker 1: that like, Okay, what am I willing to receive? How 889 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,840 Speaker 1: can I look at the future as something that is 890 00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:17,879 Speaker 1: full of awe and wonder and possibility and instead of 891 00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:21,560 Speaker 1: like something that I need to manage into existence Because 892 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:25,319 Speaker 1: I'm tired. I'm like really tired of being the manager 893 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:28,759 Speaker 1: of my life, my family's life, my friends, Like like 894 00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:32,800 Speaker 1: I've tried to manage it all and now I'm really 895 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:36,319 Speaker 1: in a mode where I'm like, let's see, like I 896 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:40,560 Speaker 1: want to receive, delight me, surprise me. Like who would 897 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:43,319 Speaker 1: have thought that unloading and loading the dish washer four 898 00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,640 Speaker 1: times a day would improve my posture? But let me 899 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:52,640 Speaker 1: tell you, because I'm not hunched over a computer. Or 900 00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:56,800 Speaker 1: who would have thought that getting some light because I actually, 901 00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,839 Speaker 1: instead of being on the computer, go out and take 902 00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:04,960 Speaker 1: walks would improve everything? Like some light something that is 903 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,200 Speaker 1: like so basic that we all have access to and 904 00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:13,359 Speaker 1: most of us don't get enough of. Um, I don't 905 00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:16,160 Speaker 1: know I And look, all of this is with the 906 00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:20,280 Speaker 1: caveat that it's not easy, Like we all have obligations, 907 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:23,200 Speaker 1: we all have responsibilities. You can't just blow up your 908 00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:26,239 Speaker 1: life and be like, okay, give my notice and what 909 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,759 Speaker 1: provide or the universe will provide. No, that's not what 910 00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:33,640 Speaker 1: I'm saying at all. Before I stopped selling rings, I 911 00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:37,719 Speaker 1: created a whole another income stream through my books, so 912 00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:41,480 Speaker 1: I basically had three jobs at once for three years 913 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,560 Speaker 1: until I was able to let go of something. There 914 00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,160 Speaker 1: is planning and there is thought, but at the same time, 915 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:51,360 Speaker 1: there is also this willingness to let go of something, 916 00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,520 Speaker 1: which I think is really hard for a lot of 917 00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:58,040 Speaker 1: us because I look at everything as like a safety net, 918 00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:00,000 Speaker 1: Like how could I like, Oh, that that's my safe 919 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:04,000 Speaker 1: the net. And now I'm learning to have fewer safety 920 00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:07,239 Speaker 1: nets so that I could be a little bit more free, right, 921 00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,680 Speaker 1: because that net that you construct in order to feel safe, 922 00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:15,800 Speaker 1: it also can sometimes be a bit of a cage. Yeah, well, 923 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,960 Speaker 1: I was gonna say the net. It's funny because to 924 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,080 Speaker 1: me that's actually a false thing too. Like I agree 925 00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,200 Speaker 1: with you, and most of the times when I'm letting 926 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:26,839 Speaker 1: go of things in my life, like I'm not trying 927 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,359 Speaker 1: to be like, oh just like going and like God, 928 00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,080 Speaker 1: like I go kicking and fucking screaming, it is not 929 00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:36,080 Speaker 1: it's like this is easy. But I think like on 930 00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:38,960 Speaker 1: the good days or in the you know, the after effect, 931 00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:42,920 Speaker 1: when I'm looking back, I'm thinking to myself like, whatever 932 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,240 Speaker 1: it was that I was clinging so hard to wasn't 933 00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:48,920 Speaker 1: where it actually was anyway, Like the net, the safety 934 00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:53,120 Speaker 1: net is inside of me. Like like the question that 935 00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,400 Speaker 1: when I work with this lady who's she's like I 936 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,440 Speaker 1: call her my breath work coach, but she's just kind 937 00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,040 Speaker 1: of like a life coach too. But she always to 938 00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:03,359 Speaker 1: me is love present? Is love present? And I start 939 00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:06,839 Speaker 1: breathing into that every time, and I'm like, is love present? Yes? 940 00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:10,040 Speaker 1: Because love is present inside of me. And then another 941 00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:13,200 Speaker 1: coach that I work with said to me, um, are 942 00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:18,440 Speaker 1: you safe? Are you safe right now? And I I 943 00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:20,719 Speaker 1: was like thinking about it, and I'm like, well, I 944 00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:22,200 Speaker 1: mean I could be safer about it, you know, like 945 00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:25,200 Speaker 1: I want to just about all this stuff. But the 946 00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:28,640 Speaker 1: reality is is in this moment, as I'm sitting on 947 00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:31,680 Speaker 1: this phone call with you, Yes, I am safe. Like 948 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,080 Speaker 1: all of the decisions I've made. He taught me this, 949 00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:37,080 Speaker 1: all of the decisions I've made up until this thirty 950 00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:42,239 Speaker 1: ninth year of my life, on this day of May. Yeah, 951 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,400 Speaker 1: I am safe. I'm alive, I have my health, I 952 00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,160 Speaker 1: have a roof over my head, like I am safe. 953 00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,120 Speaker 1: And so all of these things that we cling so 954 00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,600 Speaker 1: hard to you are actually not really where the safety lies. 955 00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,440 Speaker 1: Like the safety is truly within us, and so that 956 00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:01,200 Speaker 1: can be anywhere in any situation. And if we are, 957 00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:03,680 Speaker 1: if we are so connected to ourselves that we can 958 00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:08,120 Speaker 1: identify that. I love that visual of like being your 959 00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:11,480 Speaker 1: own safety net, and it's not about anything external. And 960 00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:14,160 Speaker 1: I think it ties back to what we were talking 961 00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:18,160 Speaker 1: about before, which is the uniqueness. Right, Yes, you are 962 00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:21,040 Speaker 1: designed to be on this earth, and part of that 963 00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:26,320 Speaker 1: design is to provide yourself with security and knowing that 964 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:30,800 Speaker 1: you are capable, that you are okay. That at least 965 00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:33,760 Speaker 1: for me, I know each night when I go to bed, 966 00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,480 Speaker 1: and I've had to use this as a mantra, it's like, 967 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,800 Speaker 1: you did your best. That's what I repeat to myself 968 00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:43,680 Speaker 1: every night, because for so long I would go to 969 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:47,240 Speaker 1: sleep with a to do list of everything that I 970 00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:50,040 Speaker 1: didn't do or was supposed to do and was failing at. 971 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,880 Speaker 1: And I've replaced that now that list is now just 972 00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:58,880 Speaker 1: like a loving refrain of you always do your best 973 00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:02,600 Speaker 1: today you are person who always does their best, and 974 00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:06,640 Speaker 1: whatever didn't happen today, you'll try your best again tomorrow. 975 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:13,680 Speaker 1: And I've given myself that like hug, that acceptance, that love, 976 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:18,920 Speaker 1: to stop feeling like nothing I do is ever enough, 977 00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,960 Speaker 1: because that was my story for a really long time. 978 00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:26,400 Speaker 1: Like I joke that if I write a memoir one day, 979 00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,520 Speaker 1: the name of the memoir is going to be potential. 980 00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:34,560 Speaker 1: Mine would be that for many other reasons, but yes, right, 981 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:38,920 Speaker 1: because my whole life I felt like unfulfilled potential, like 982 00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:42,000 Speaker 1: I'm capable of more than I'm doing, which is like 983 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,960 Speaker 1: a strange kind of confidence to have, because on one 984 00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:47,480 Speaker 1: hand you're saying you're capable of so much, but on 985 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,120 Speaker 1: the other hand, you're saying, but you're a piece of 986 00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:54,600 Speaker 1: ship because you never turn out there yet. Yeah, And 987 00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:57,080 Speaker 1: I think for me forty, I hope, I hope this 988 00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:02,960 Speaker 1: decade will be one of fulfillment and fruition in the 989 00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:08,439 Speaker 1: form of finally recognizing that I was always already enough 990 00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,520 Speaker 1: and how can I show up in my life from 991 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:16,840 Speaker 1: that place of wholeness and knowing that I am not lacking. 992 00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:22,080 Speaker 1: I didn't make every mistake and that whatever decisions I 993 00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:25,440 Speaker 1: did make have brought me into this moment. And in 994 00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:28,360 Speaker 1: this moment, as you said, I am loved, I am safe, 995 00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:32,840 Speaker 1: I am here, I am healthy, And there's still a 996 00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:35,280 Speaker 1: lot of good left to be done in this world. 997 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:37,600 Speaker 1: And you know, kind of circling back to what we 998 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:39,960 Speaker 1: talked to at the beginning, talked about at the beginning, 999 00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:45,840 Speaker 1: I think that the two things this world need right 1000 00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,680 Speaker 1: now is one on an individual level, how can we 1001 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:54,360 Speaker 1: love ourselves and show up as whole sold people and 1002 00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:58,760 Speaker 1: not you know, show up broken because that's where we 1003 00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:01,880 Speaker 1: make a lot of that choice is. And I tell 1004 01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:04,600 Speaker 1: my four year old son this all the time. There 1005 01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,760 Speaker 1: are it's not there are no bad people, just bad choices. 1006 01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:10,640 Speaker 1: So how can we be whole so that we can 1007 01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:13,640 Speaker 1: make good choices? And then the second half is how 1008 01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:17,800 Speaker 1: can we take care of our community better? Because you know, 1009 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:22,360 Speaker 1: I read the book Burnout, um, and the authors of 1010 01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:24,880 Speaker 1: that book are brilliant, and I don't know why I 1011 01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,440 Speaker 1: don't remember their names. That's like another thyroid thing. My 1012 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:31,160 Speaker 1: memory is just terrible. Highly recommend the book Burnout, But 1013 01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:35,800 Speaker 1: their authors are two sisters, said that self care as 1014 01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:40,360 Speaker 1: community care, that it's not enough to say you have 1015 01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:44,040 Speaker 1: to take care of yourself. The true self care is 1016 01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:47,840 Speaker 1: how we take care of each other. And I think 1017 01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,120 Speaker 1: that is the task right now. I think, after a 1018 01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:54,720 Speaker 1: few years of like utter isolation, time to remember that 1019 01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:58,520 Speaker 1: we are not islands and that we all are so 1020 01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:03,200 Speaker 1: intrinsically connected, and how can we do a better job 1021 01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:06,480 Speaker 1: of caring about each other and caring for each other? 1022 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,360 Speaker 1: Amen to that, I was thinking about the connection to 1023 01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:13,480 Speaker 1: the beginning as well, because I do think right now, 1024 01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:17,400 Speaker 1: especially in a culture where it doesn't really feel safe. 1025 01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:20,480 Speaker 1: I think that's like kind of the underlying current to 1026 01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:23,080 Speaker 1: every day right now that we all are just feeling 1027 01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:25,720 Speaker 1: this like win's the next you're going to drop feeling 1028 01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:27,400 Speaker 1: And that's like it's like being a part of a 1029 01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:30,040 Speaker 1: dysfunctional family or something where you're just kind of like 1030 01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,840 Speaker 1: the chaos, and they're like, it just feels like there's 1031 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:37,000 Speaker 1: always something that happens, like it's like the next thing, um, 1032 01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:41,480 Speaker 1: and so really centering ourselves within ourselves to find that 1033 01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,880 Speaker 1: safety and security. And then just like you're just saying, 1034 01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:47,360 Speaker 1: like one of the other tools that I that I'm 1035 01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:51,920 Speaker 1: constantly reminded of by mentor is UM when I'm spiraling 1036 01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,520 Speaker 1: in my own stuff, She's like, you need to call 1037 01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:57,320 Speaker 1: a friend and see how they're doing. Like just that 1038 01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,240 Speaker 1: one simple action, taking that one step to get on 1039 01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:02,760 Speaker 1: the phone and ask someone else how they're doing, shifts 1040 01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,880 Speaker 1: my entire day every time, because it gets me out 1041 01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:07,680 Speaker 1: of myself, It gets me out of my own head. 1042 01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:09,880 Speaker 1: It reminds me of all the things that I can 1043 01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:13,360 Speaker 1: be grateful for, UM, And it's human connection, and that's 1044 01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:15,520 Speaker 1: what I think we're lacking so much of, which is 1045 01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:19,400 Speaker 1: why we're seeing these things of like this disconnection from self, 1046 01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:23,720 Speaker 1: and this disconnection from other humans is to me why 1047 01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:29,640 Speaker 1: we're seeing violence and you know, hostility and divisiveness and 1048 01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:31,520 Speaker 1: all of these things. And so if we could just 1049 01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:34,960 Speaker 1: each individually take those steps, I wonder why would happen. 1050 01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:37,680 Speaker 1: I think it would be a really good start. And 1051 01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:41,200 Speaker 1: I think that, you know, if people walk away from 1052 01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:46,520 Speaker 1: this podcast with anything, my hope is that they devote 1053 01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:49,520 Speaker 1: just a few minutes to check in and create space 1054 01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:53,000 Speaker 1: for themselves and ask themselves what is it that matters 1055 01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:56,840 Speaker 1: most to me and what can I let go of 1056 01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,880 Speaker 1: to create more space for that? And then the other 1057 01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:02,760 Speaker 1: case would be how can I get a little bit 1058 01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:06,320 Speaker 1: more connected with my community? And I don't mean like 1059 01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:10,200 Speaker 1: your friends and family. I'm talking about people that you 1060 01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:14,240 Speaker 1: otherwise would not normally be speaking to, people who don't 1061 01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:17,280 Speaker 1: necessarily hold the shame same views as you, people who 1062 01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,200 Speaker 1: don't have the same job as you, just community people 1063 01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,920 Speaker 1: around you, Like can you go leave a note for 1064 01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:26,160 Speaker 1: your neighbor and be like, Hey, I'm your neighbor, here's 1065 01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,840 Speaker 1: my phone number in case of emergency, if you need anything, 1066 01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,360 Speaker 1: call me, Or can you spend five minutes talking to 1067 01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:36,479 Speaker 1: your you know, cashier, a traitor Joe's and ask them 1068 01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:40,240 Speaker 1: like a personal question and smile at them and connect 1069 01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:44,920 Speaker 1: them like, can you find an opportunity today, even if 1070 01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:48,520 Speaker 1: it's only five minutes, to connect with someone outside of 1071 01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:53,800 Speaker 1: your bubble and offer them a little bit of care. Um. 1072 01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:58,080 Speaker 1: I think those two things of knowing and prioritizing what 1073 01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:01,480 Speaker 1: matters to us and building bridges with the people around 1074 01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:05,120 Speaker 1: us could make a really, really big difference. I agree 1075 01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:07,920 Speaker 1: with you. Okay, well, we kind of know that your 1076 01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:11,160 Speaker 1: full time author now said how the people where they 1077 01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:15,160 Speaker 1: can find you and also what you have coming up? Okay, Um, 1078 01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:18,440 Speaker 1: I'm very easy to find, Melody Godfred. My books are 1079 01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:23,040 Speaker 1: sold in bookstores around the country or on Amazon. Um. 1080 01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:26,400 Speaker 1: If you're into poetry, I wrote Self Love Poetry for 1081 01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:30,680 Speaker 1: Thinkers and Feelers. Um. It's a collection of poems that 1082 01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:34,080 Speaker 1: are designed to ignite your heart and mind. And then, 1083 01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,360 Speaker 1: if you're more of a journal er, I wrote The A. B. 1084 01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:39,520 Speaker 1: C's of Self Love. It's a guided journal that's lovingly 1085 01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:42,560 Speaker 1: shows you what self love actually is from A to Z. 1086 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,880 Speaker 1: And what I'm most excited about is I have a 1087 01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,400 Speaker 1: new book coming out in the fall called The Shift, 1088 01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:52,560 Speaker 1: Poetry for a new perspective. They're illustrated pairs of poem 1089 01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:57,160 Speaker 1: that help you make the shift into the new world. 1090 01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:01,919 Speaker 1: From fear to love UM, from can troll to surrender um. 1091 01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:04,320 Speaker 1: All the themes that we've been talking about are in 1092 01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,320 Speaker 1: this book, and there are a lot of poems related 1093 01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:09,959 Speaker 1: to my experience during the pandemic and how I work 1094 01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:14,480 Speaker 1: to shift my perspective um. Because for a minute there 1095 01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:18,800 Speaker 1: things got really grim, and you know, continue to be 1096 01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:21,760 Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, but I still believe that 1097 01:05:22,760 --> 01:05:25,600 Speaker 1: we can see the beauty in the world and in 1098 01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,600 Speaker 1: each other, and from that place start transforming the world 1099 01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:31,360 Speaker 1: we live in. So The Shift comes out in September. 1100 01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:34,320 Speaker 1: If you want to do me the greatest favor in 1101 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:37,840 Speaker 1: the world, please preorder it. It's available again on Amazon, 1102 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:41,960 Speaker 1: everywhere else every other book retailer's website. The reason pre 1103 01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:45,480 Speaker 1: orders are important is because there is a paper shortage 1104 01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:52,320 Speaker 1: and a supply chain issue, and my publisher has already ordered, 1105 01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,959 Speaker 1: you know, a certain amount of books, but they will 1106 01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:59,080 Speaker 1: not order more books because of the shortage unless there 1107 01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:04,320 Speaker 1: are pre orders. So it's like a real logistical nightmare, 1108 01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:09,000 Speaker 1: and it's a good problem to have that my books 1109 01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:11,800 Speaker 1: tend to sell, but like, as an author, you work 1110 01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:16,360 Speaker 1: so hard to create something and then to be told, oh, 1111 01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,920 Speaker 1: like your books out of print because we ran out 1112 01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,080 Speaker 1: of copies and there won't be more for two or 1113 01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:25,040 Speaker 1: three months. That happened with Self Love Poetry twice already 1114 01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:29,920 Speaker 1: this year, where even though they've already printed twenty of 1115 01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:32,520 Speaker 1: them in the last six months, they've sold out and 1116 01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:35,919 Speaker 1: they're like, sorry, there's a backlog at the printer, so 1117 01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:40,320 Speaker 1: we'll get more in a couple of months, So preorder please, 1118 01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:43,520 Speaker 1: so that you know they order enough of the shift. 1119 01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:50,840 Speaker 1: And that is my very awkward plea to you. I 1120 01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:53,320 Speaker 1: just think it's the reality of the world we live in, 1121 01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:56,040 Speaker 1: and it's so crazy because I think we're so used 1122 01:06:56,080 --> 01:07:00,320 Speaker 1: to instant gratification that it's a whole different it's whole 1123 01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:03,800 Speaker 1: different mindshift. I was literally having the conversation yesterday with 1124 01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:08,200 Speaker 1: a friend about um being able to find workers, and 1125 01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:11,520 Speaker 1: just like it's like, it's just a different world right now, 1126 01:07:11,720 --> 01:07:14,000 Speaker 1: and I don't know if it'll go back, but this 1127 01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:16,040 Speaker 1: is where we are today. So I think that's just 1128 01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:20,680 Speaker 1: it's just communication, healthy communication. And it's a book I'm 1129 01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:24,400 Speaker 1: really proud of and it sounds very timely for sure 1130 01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:27,000 Speaker 1: the book is designed. When you read the poem, the 1131 01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:28,920 Speaker 1: poem on the left side of the page, it's going 1132 01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:32,120 Speaker 1: to give you like anxiety because it's written from that 1133 01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:35,960 Speaker 1: place of that tension, tension feeling. But then when you 1134 01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:37,960 Speaker 1: read the poem on the right side of the page, 1135 01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:44,200 Speaker 1: you feel this incredible release. And it was really interesting 1136 01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:49,920 Speaker 1: writing a book in this style because it embodied what 1137 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:53,840 Speaker 1: as humans were capable of, like with our thoughts, Like 1138 01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:57,480 Speaker 1: simply our thoughts can make us feel so anxious and 1139 01:07:57,520 --> 01:08:00,880 Speaker 1: tight and tense and burdened, and then all it takes 1140 01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,480 Speaker 1: is like a shift of perspective and we can feel 1141 01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:08,400 Speaker 1: joyful and free and in a state of like love 1142 01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:13,120 Speaker 1: and flow. It's the problem to the solution. It's the shift. 1143 01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:15,720 Speaker 1: I love that name, the shift that is so good. 1144 01:08:16,280 --> 01:08:18,920 Speaker 1: Thank you well. I can't wait for you to have it, Kelly. 1145 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:22,960 Speaker 1: And you said shift in the first like five minutes 1146 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:26,679 Speaker 1: of this talk and said it. I was like, like, 1147 01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:31,800 Speaker 1: the universe speaks to me all the time, and thank you. 1148 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:35,040 Speaker 1: Thank you for being my sister and for God the 1149 01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:40,479 Speaker 1: important conversations. Um to be human is to connect and 1150 01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:42,840 Speaker 1: I feel so connected to you, so thank you for 1151 01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:46,680 Speaker 1: making me feel human. It is completely mutual. Thank you 1152 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,080 Speaker 1: so much again for being here. And I just always 1153 01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:52,639 Speaker 1: love the rawness of our conversations. I know they kind 1154 01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:54,320 Speaker 1: of go all over the place, you guys, which is 1155 01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:57,800 Speaker 1: like not the typical podcast format, and that is a 1156 01:08:57,840 --> 01:09:00,640 Speaker 1: practice of letting go for me too, But I do 1157 01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:03,639 Speaker 1: feel like this is any sort of conversation I would 1158 01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:05,360 Speaker 1: have with my friends, and so it's really fun to 1159 01:09:05,360 --> 01:09:09,320 Speaker 1: take the listeners just come on a normal journey with everybody. 1160 01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:12,479 Speaker 1: You know, we're all just human here. So Melody, thank 1161 01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:14,000 Speaker 1: you for being here. I'm gonna put all of the 1162 01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:16,640 Speaker 1: links to all of the books in the description of 1163 01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:20,360 Speaker 1: this podcast, and I also link melodies instagram um which 1164 01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:22,960 Speaker 1: is at Melody God for it as well, so you 1165 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,839 Speaker 1: guys go check it out. And thanks so much for listening. Melody, 1166 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,479 Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, Kelly. Thanks for listening to The 1167 01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:32,000 Speaker 1: Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, where we believe everyone 1168 01:09:32,080 --> 01:09:34,760 Speaker 1: has a little velvet and a little edge. Subscribe for 1169 01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:39,479 Speaker 1: more conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. Search Velvet's 1170 01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:41,200 Speaker 1: Edge wherever you get your podcasts.