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Speaker 1: Every day a waiting up the breakfast Club finish for

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Speaker 1: y'all done morning.

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Speaker 2: Everybody is j n V jess hilarious, Charlamage, the guy

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Speaker 2: we are, the breakfast Club Law and the Roses here

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Speaker 2: as well.

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Speaker 3: We got a special guest in the building.

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Speaker 4: We told you he was going to have him back.

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Speaker 5: That's right, doctor Joelton. Welcome back, man, Thank you for

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Speaker 5: having us back. I didn't get to talk to you

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Speaker 5: last time. I wasn't here.

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Speaker 3: I was out of town. How you doing.

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Speaker 5: It's honor to meet your brother.

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Speaker 1: New book, The Fight to find Yourself Moving from Uncertain

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Speaker 1: to Unstoppable, is out now.

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Speaker 4: Yes, sir, I want to ask you, doctor Joe, what was.

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Speaker 1: The What was the moment, like that real breaking point

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Speaker 1: that made you realize you weren't living as your authentic self?

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Speaker 5: Several moments. I don't think I can categorize it to one.

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Speaker 5: I think it was a breakdown for me, a chain

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Speaker 5: of events, a lot of success, and the success couldn't

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Speaker 5: solve the pain. And so once all the breakdowns started

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Speaker 5: to accumulate, I started realizing this stuff is just a

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Speaker 5: band aid. Every accolade, every award, every stage, every opportunity

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Speaker 5: could not solve the inner pain and so having a

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Speaker 5: good community of course j of course, other brothers and

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Speaker 5: other ministers that knew that I was hurting started looking

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Speaker 5: into the insights say hey, man, pull yourself back. We

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Speaker 5: need to talk to you. My mentor who became a pastor,

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Speaker 5: he began to talking to me. He told me to

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Speaker 5: stop speaking. So for I think nine months to a year,

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Speaker 5: I didn't travel, I didn't go anywhere. He made me

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Speaker 5: stay home and minister at the house so he could

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Speaker 5: watch over me and check over me. But the pain

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Speaker 5: had gotten pretty bad, pretty bad. I think I put

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Speaker 5: a gun to my head twice during that process, trying

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Speaker 5: to figure out how to maneuver through. But then once

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Speaker 5: I found a pretty good therapist, things started changing, and

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Speaker 5: I started journal and started documenting and seeing things change

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Speaker 5: for myself.

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Speaker 6: You talk about in the opening of the book going

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Speaker 6: through the motions of things and how they just feels

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Speaker 6: so empty. Yeah, but you also have such a big

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Speaker 6: platform and you're speaking places you can fall back into

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Speaker 6: the motions easily, even at certain points in it, like

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Speaker 6: how do you kind of stop yourself from falling back

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Speaker 6: into the motion of things because you know you're entertaining

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Speaker 6: at the same time too.

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Speaker 5: That's a great question. Let's do it like this. When

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Speaker 5: the annoyinging comes on you to speak, it comes on

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Speaker 5: you for the task for the moment. So the annoying

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Speaker 5: comes on you to do what you need to do.

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Speaker 5: You study yourself, how you prepare, you do what you

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Speaker 5: need to do. You pray. That's God doing his thing

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Speaker 5: through you. When that's over, it's over, and you can

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Speaker 5: walk off the stage and feel like you're absolutely failed,

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Speaker 5: even though people were absolutely blessed. You can walk off

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Speaker 5: the stage get a phone call that just rips everything away.

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Speaker 5: After all, those people have given their lives to Christ.

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Speaker 5: And that's what I'm talking about, that that moment, you're

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Speaker 5: annoying it for that moment, and then when you come off,

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Speaker 5: you don't have the badge to live. And that's what

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Speaker 5: I was experiencing. So it was a massive fall off

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Speaker 5: and I got tired of that, real tired of it.

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Speaker 3: What changed?

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Speaker 2: What gave you the feeling of wanting to live again?

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Speaker 5: I lost my father and my son back to back.

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Speaker 5: Both of those relationships were difficult to had my son

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Speaker 5: when I was sixteen years old. He came to live

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Speaker 5: with me his sophomore year and then my father. We

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Speaker 5: had a good relationship, but it wasn't like what you

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Speaker 5: wanted father and son to have. I've respected him very

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Speaker 5: much so and he wasn't an absentee. We just didn't

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Speaker 5: have a relationship. And so that thing grew, grew and grew.

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Speaker 5: So in the process, I built all these walls that

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Speaker 5: protected me emotionally. And the last two weeks of my

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Speaker 5: dad's life, I spent with him in the hospital and

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Speaker 5: I got to know him like I never knew him before.

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Speaker 5: I held his hand and washed him, shaved, and I

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Speaker 5: fed him, scratched his back. It was a different feeling

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Speaker 5: from me that unleashed this avalanche of emotions that I

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Speaker 5: never felt before, and I needed to figure out how

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Speaker 5: to deal with them. For a little bit, I felt

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Speaker 5: like it was great, And then for a second I

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Speaker 5: was like, God, how could you do this? How could

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Speaker 5: you wait till the end? And I'm this old to

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Speaker 5: give me the feeling of being a son. I'm already

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Speaker 5: a man, and I've already mastered the way I do life,

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Speaker 5: you know, and so it may not be perfect, but

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Speaker 5: it's mine. And when that happened, those two deaths broke

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Speaker 5: down everything I knew. It broke down my own blueprint

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Speaker 5: and I had to come up with a new one.

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Speaker 4: So you lost yourself because of what you lost.

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Speaker 2: To you at your lowest and you're feeling like taking

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Speaker 2: your life. Most people will say that is devil working,

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Speaker 2: and it's not anything but the devil trying to get

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Speaker 2: you to take your life.

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Speaker 5: Do you agree with that? I don't know if I

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Speaker 5: agree with it or not. I'm gonna be honest with you.

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Speaker 5: I know that Satan comes to kill, still and destroy.

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Speaker 5: I don't think God does that. But what I will

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Speaker 5: say is that there are some things that happen to

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Speaker 5: us internally chemically that we are born with or born

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Speaker 5: without that only scientists can answer. I don't think the

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Speaker 5: scientist is God not saying that. But I don't think

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Speaker 5: that's a question that you could just easily answer from

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Speaker 5: a five or six minute conversation. I think it involves

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Speaker 5: a lot of study, a lot of interpretation, and the

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Speaker 5: opportunity to really converse with people that have the problem,

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Speaker 5: not people that are just sitting around the table discussing that.

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Speaker 2: Because when most people feel like they want to take

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Speaker 2: their life, it's a lot of times they feel worthless,

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Speaker 2: right they feel like that they don't have an answer,

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Speaker 2: they'd rather they feel like life would be better without

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Speaker 2: them than with them in it, And it's learning.

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Speaker 3: That that complete opposite. Did you have that feel?

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Speaker 5: I felt it, but because I had understood the word

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Speaker 5: of God and had enough left in the tank, I

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Speaker 5: had enough to kind of come back and forth and

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Speaker 5: talk to myself. When I was younger, I didn't. I

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Speaker 5: just took the pills, but I didn't die. When I

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Speaker 5: got older and I pulled that trigger, I pulled that

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Speaker 5: triggers to die. But I didn't I felt that way.

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Speaker 5: But I will say I was going back and forth

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Speaker 5: dialogue in my head. Now, this is something I want

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Speaker 5: to say straight up. Most pastors, most people in church

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Speaker 5: are going straight up to you know, you're going to hell,

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Speaker 5: you know, and that is the devil's work. Again, I

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Speaker 5: think it's unprofessional and it's a lack of empathy and

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Speaker 5: compassion to have a conversation with the person to find

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Speaker 5: out why they felt that way. Why do you feel

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Speaker 5: that way? I think that's a part of the conversation.

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Speaker 5: I understand the eternal security and eternal damnation. We got

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Speaker 5: that the religious perspective of the walk with God, but

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Speaker 5: somebody still needs to get in your walk get in

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Speaker 5: your shoes with the word of God and help you

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Speaker 5: walk through why you feel that way. I think that's

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Speaker 5: the missing ingredient. Great question, great debate, but the missing

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Speaker 5: piece of the question and the conversation is the person.

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Speaker 5: Why do you feel that way?

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Speaker 2: Because I've been there before and I write it in

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Speaker 2: my book of me being feeling worthless right, me doing

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Speaker 2: things making me feel like an embarrassment to my family

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Speaker 2: one and me feeling like not being here would be

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Speaker 2: better for my family took a lot of praying, a

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Speaker 2: lot of talking, a lot of discussion. Well, when somebody

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Speaker 2: ever tells me that they're thinking about it, I jumped

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Speaker 2: to it immediately, right. And the reason I jumped to

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Speaker 2: it and jump to have a conversation. I have conversation

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Speaker 2: with so many people online. But the reason I jump

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Speaker 2: to it is because another thing that also gives me

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Speaker 2: great fear is sometimes people feel like I got to

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Speaker 2: show you I would do it, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm thinking about it, And a lot of times

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Speaker 2: we write that person off like just just go sleep, yo,

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Speaker 2: just go take a shot, just just go talk to somebody.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like the worst thing you can do

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Speaker 2: to somebody in that position is kind of sign them off.

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Speaker 2: Almost feel like I have to show you I was

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Speaker 2: gonna do it, and once I have, once I show you,

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Speaker 2: there is no ups there is no fix that can't

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Speaker 2: fix that.

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Speaker 5: That's why I said the person, the person matters. I

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Speaker 5: love the theological conversation, the church conversation. It's great to

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Speaker 5: have put the collar down and talk to the person

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Speaker 5: and then we'll navigate there. Why do you feel that way?

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Speaker 5: What caused you to get that way? That's more important

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Speaker 5: right now, you know? And I love what you said

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Speaker 5: about it because some people say I'm just going to

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Speaker 5: do it, and if you and I and if they

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Speaker 5: do it, we don't get an opportunity to come back.

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Speaker 1: I love this conversation because you know, the fight to

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Speaker 1: find yourself. What if you feel like you know that

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Speaker 1: fight is no longer, that fight would no longer be

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Speaker 1: fought it here on this earthly plane. And what I

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Speaker 1: mean by that is like I had a friend committed

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Speaker 1: suicide a few years ago, and this she was so

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Speaker 1: intentional about everything, so strategic about everything, and then when

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Speaker 1: you go look at her like social media posts, she

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Speaker 1: was asking questions like I wonder what my next life

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Speaker 1: would be like. And it was during COVID, and she

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Speaker 1: was saying things like, you know, one thing COVID taught

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Speaker 1: me is that I would have, you know, jumped off

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Speaker 1: the slave ship a long time ago, like so she

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Speaker 1: knew she was ready to go, and so she, you know,

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Speaker 1: committed suicide.

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Speaker 5: You felt like the other side was better than this side,

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Speaker 5: which is what.

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Speaker 4: I can't say that. Her call was that you're saying,

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Speaker 4: that's how I kind.

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Speaker 5: Of feel, you feel, but don't know what she felt that.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what she felt.

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Speaker 5: I think for me, I have felt that. I have

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Speaker 5: felt that because there's no dying over there. That's what

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Speaker 5: that's what we teach. There's no more murder over there.

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Speaker 5: You know, it's eternal life over there, eternal security, and

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Speaker 5: I'm better off gone than here. We don't know. That's

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Speaker 5: that's that is the point of the conversation. If you

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Speaker 5: can have the conversation, if you can pause from your

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Speaker 5: daily life, from your routine, and have the conversation with

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Speaker 5: the person. We just got through talking about one of

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Speaker 5: Jason Wilson's posts that we miss the red flags and

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Speaker 5: sometimes when the white flag is is pushed. It's too late.

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Speaker 5: We missed the red flags because of our routines, because

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Speaker 5: of our life. It's not that it's our fault, but

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Speaker 5: we have to slow down. If we're going to be

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Speaker 5: in a relationship with people, being covenant with people, then

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Speaker 5: the relationship has to be deeper than us kicking it.

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Speaker 5: It has to be deeper than us just making it.

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Speaker 5: I think, Jay and our relationship is incredible. We're both

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Speaker 5: making it in our fields. We're making it in what

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Speaker 5: we do. But we pause to find out about our

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Speaker 5: mental Yo, how you thinking? Why are you thinking that way?

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Speaker 5: What's going? And then I have to be comfortable enough

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Speaker 5: to be vulnerable with the men, tell the absolute truth.

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Speaker 5: I'm broken. And then I find a scripture that says

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Speaker 5: he's close to the broken hearted. That's in the Bible.

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Speaker 5: So I need the scripture. Now. I don't need the

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Speaker 5: scripture to talk about suicide. I need the scripture before suicide.

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Speaker 5: I need the empowerment before thinking about taking my life.

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Speaker 5: So the word starts talking to me when I feel

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Speaker 5: like doing it.

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Speaker 4: So stay on that. What does it look like to

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Speaker 4: fight right? Oh?

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Speaker 5: Man? Fighting writers with scripture? Loading yourself up daily because

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Speaker 5: you want to make your plans from your faith, not

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Speaker 5: your feelings. Your feelings are going to change, They're going

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Speaker 5: to ebb and flow based off of who you're connected with,

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Speaker 5: based off of what happens to you. We fight wrong

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Speaker 5: all the time. We fight wrong with the wrong people,

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Speaker 5: We fight wrong with our diets, we fight wrong with addictions,

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Speaker 5: we fight wrong. I just start thinking, and so the

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Speaker 5: scriptures talk about us capturing every imagination, every thought and

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Speaker 5: bringing it under subjection. You know that is how you fight.

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Speaker 5: But you have to learn how to do that through

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Speaker 5: the word of God. And I was just sitting there

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Speaker 5: and I told, I told Jay, I said, when I

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Speaker 5: get there, because I know that your audience is full

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Speaker 5: of church people and not church people. So I always

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Speaker 5: let's just say I'm on chat GPT. Find me a

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Speaker 5: scripture that's encouraging for depression. Find me a scripture that's

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Speaker 5: encouraging for depression. It's just that simple.

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Speaker 4: And what does the Bible say about chat GPT.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I'm just asking, get out of here.

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Speaker 5: See what Chad say. Chad took me to Psalms thirty

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Speaker 5: four eighteen. The Lord is close to the broken hearted,

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Speaker 5: and save those who are crushed in spirit. I got

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Speaker 5: that in like what thirty seconds, Matthew eleven twenty eight.

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Speaker 5: Come to me, all you are weary and burdened, and

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Speaker 5: I will give you rests Tewod Corinthians one three through four.

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Speaker 5: Praise be to God, the Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ,

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Speaker 5: the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,

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Speaker 5: who comforts us all in our troubles. We have to

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Speaker 5: take it upon ourselves, no matter what our level is

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Speaker 5: in study. You may not be a theologian, you may

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Speaker 5: not be a doctor in biblical studies, but you can

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Speaker 5: grab this technology. And this technology just like it's teaching

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Speaker 5: us how to go everywhere across the world. You can

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Speaker 5: grab it whatever you feel. I'm telling this to you,

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Speaker 5: brother sister, whatever you feel, grab it. Speak what you

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Speaker 5: feel thet it give you a word. It's coming from

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Speaker 5: the Bible. Man. If you don't trust it, go pick

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Speaker 5: your Bible up and trace it and make sure that's

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Speaker 5: what it says. But at least attempt, at least attempt

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Speaker 5: to speak into your own life.

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Speaker 4: What do you say?

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Speaker 3: It's a two paul question.

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Speaker 2: One. People always say that people who commit suicide or

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Speaker 2: thinking of committing suicide or tried to commit suicide or

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Speaker 2: weak right, and for parents out there, seems like the

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Speaker 2: suicide conversation and depression conversation is a lot more frequent

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Speaker 2: than when we were kids. What do you say to

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Speaker 2: parents in old situations?

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Speaker 5: Children are not weak. Your children don't have an answer.

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Speaker 5: Your children are not weak. Your children are beautiful, Your

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Speaker 5: children are strong. Your children are confused, and they don't

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Speaker 5: have an answer because if they had an answer, that

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Speaker 5: wouldn't be the choice. And I would say to the parents,

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Speaker 5: continue to build your relationship with your children so you

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Speaker 5: can actually see the changes when the diet changes, when

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Speaker 5: they stop doing the stuff that they love, and they

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Speaker 5: stop training, when they stop talking on the phone, when

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Speaker 5: they stop smiling. When you see those shifts, that's when

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Speaker 5: you got to act. You can't act when the wife

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Speaker 5: lad goes up. They are not weak.

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Speaker 6: What do you say to parents about learning how to

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Speaker 6: find what they need for themselves to be able to

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Speaker 6: give to their children, Because I know you talk about

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Speaker 6: that in your book, like you had to do a

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Speaker 6: lot for yourself and your fight to then be able

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Speaker 6: to fill your daughter up.

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Speaker 5: Reading reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading,

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Speaker 5: everything that you can read, and then reading what your

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Speaker 5: children are reading, okay, what are they actually putting into them?

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Speaker 5: One of the things I had to watch is my daughter,

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Speaker 5: one of my daughters, she watches a lot of television

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Speaker 5: on her phone. Okay, so the TV could be playing

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Speaker 5: just as loud as day. She's got her headsets on

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Speaker 5: and she's in a whole nother movie. So I have

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Speaker 5: to take them. I said, what are you watching? Everything

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Speaker 5: she's watching is like Ghosts, Goblins, Demons, witch is not spooky,

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Speaker 5: but it's fun little movies. That's giving her different ways

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Speaker 5: of dealing with life. So I said, hey, let's watch

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Speaker 5: something else. I have to What are you listening to?

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Speaker 5: What is the music you're listening to? So I started

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Speaker 5: listening to their music. Now they laugh because they're like, yo, Dad,

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Speaker 5: why are you listening to that? Because I want to know.

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Speaker 7: What you're listening to.

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Speaker 5: They're listening to everything and I like it. They listen

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Speaker 5: to everything and I like it. So it's to me.

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Speaker 5: It's trying to stay lock and step with them. I

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Speaker 5: don't expect them to be me. I don't expect her

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Speaker 5: to be a pastor. I don't expect her to sing

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Speaker 5: in the choir. I expect her to be a child,

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Speaker 5: and I want to go through that experience with her.

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Speaker 5: I know what it's like to have churchy parents that

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Speaker 5: don't have a clue what you're thinking, what you're listening to,

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Speaker 5: where you're going, and what's actually feeding your spirit. So

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Speaker 5: that's what I would say to the parents.

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Speaker 1: I want to go a little deep on the role

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Speaker 1: faith plays in finding yourself because can someone truly discover

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Speaker 1: who they are without first discovering who God is to them?

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Speaker 5: That just depends on the discipline of that particular person's faith.

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Speaker 5: That's a big broad question. You're talking to a Christian,

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Speaker 5: So I'm going to view life through a Christian lens.

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Speaker 5: And for me, because I believe that God created us,

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Speaker 5: then I believe the path to understand himself is going

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Speaker 5: to come through the Creator. Okay, when you look at

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Speaker 5: how we were made, I think I open it up

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Speaker 5: in the book. When you look at how we were made,

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Speaker 5: Adam and Eve are in this perfect situation with God.

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Speaker 5: It's when Eve listens to what the devil says about

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Speaker 5: did God say that? Which puts this question in her head,

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Speaker 5: this doubt in her head? Did he really say that?

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Speaker 5: Which is what we say, now, did he really say that?

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Speaker 5: Did he say it, did he not say it in

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Speaker 5: my saying it? Or did he saying it this question?

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Speaker 5: She gives the fruit to her husband, they eat it.

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Speaker 5: The scripture says, I think in chapter two of verse

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Speaker 5: twenty five, if I'm mistaken, that they opened their eyes

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Speaker 5: and they were naked, and they realized it. They had

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Speaker 5: been naked and unashamed. But now they realize that they're

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Speaker 5: neked and unashamed. So their entire existence was based off

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Speaker 5: of vulnerability and openness and transparency from the beginning. But

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Speaker 5: that same openness, that same transparency becomes questioned now that

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Speaker 5: they actually know they've eaten this fruit, and they have

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Speaker 5: this knowledge of good and evil. So now they know,

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Speaker 5: and now they're hiding from the God that created them.

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Speaker 5: And from that day, every last one of us are

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Speaker 5: warped into ancestry and history. So all of us are

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Speaker 5: shapened in sin, born in iniquity, born in sin, shaping

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Speaker 5: in iniquity because of their decision ancestry. So this is

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Speaker 5: how we get their doubt creeps in. Is God talking

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Speaker 5: to us then our own family history, what we say

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Speaker 5: we are, who we've become, That is evolved over years.

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Speaker 5: I think that we're a combination of history and a

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Speaker 5: combination of ancestry. So in the Christian lens, I believe

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Speaker 5: that is important to know what God says about man

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Speaker 5: so that you can find yourself, because there's some wonderful

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Speaker 5: things God says about us. And if we can build

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Speaker 5: off of what he said, then you're not looking for

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Speaker 5: what everybody else says. To build your life and to

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Speaker 5: figure out who you are, you start with the word

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Speaker 5: of God and take this journey. I think the journey

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Speaker 5: is more important than the actual destination. That's what I believe.

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Speaker 6: I love that you also talk about too in the book,

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Speaker 6: just how your wife has coached you through so many

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Speaker 6: different moments in your fight for the partners out there

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Speaker 6: who are like everybody's finding themselves. But I think when

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Speaker 6: I hear how you speak about her, there are certain

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Speaker 6: parts and certain things you couldn't have done without her.

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Speaker 6: Oh God, but it has to be heavy on her

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Speaker 6: as well. How is she balancing her own fight with

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Speaker 6: helping you do your fight.

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Speaker 5: It's sometimes it's unfair. It's unfair because she had to

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Speaker 5: stop fighting for herself to help me fight. But I

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Speaker 5: think that's the power of love, and I think we

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Speaker 5: evolve in time. I think I don't think that marriage

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Speaker 5: is a fifty to fifty. Sometimes it's gonna be eighty twenty.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes it's gonna be ten, one hundred, sometimes it's gonna

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Speaker 5: be seventy thirty. I think love is love, and whatever

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Speaker 5: number adds up, that's based off of the try, the

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Speaker 5: push between the two people, and there's always gonna be

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Speaker 5: one this week, and there's always gonna be one that's strong.

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Speaker 5: And so to each couple, I would say that the

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Speaker 5: journey to becoming who you are together will be based

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Speaker 5: off of the two of you remaining honest and open.

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Speaker 5: That I can carry you today. I may not be

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Speaker 5: able to carry you tomorrow. I carry you today.

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Speaker 2: People don't talk about a lot about how important a

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Speaker 2: good partner is, right, Yeah, because when I when I've

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Speaker 2: been at my lowest many times, if it wasn't for

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Speaker 2: my partner, I don't think I would be able to

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Speaker 2: come out.

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Speaker 3: Of it the way that I did.

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Speaker 4: Happy to be here for you guys.

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Speaker 2: This guy's crazy, you know what, you know what's so crazy?

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Speaker 2: I see him yesterday in the right just happen to

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Speaker 2: see him in the street I'm with my wife and

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Speaker 2: my daughter.

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Speaker 3: He's with his wife. He walks up to me. He's

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Speaker 3: stocking kisses at me.

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Speaker 5: Not your wife handled that.

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Speaker 2: My wife didn't see his wife said it, and his

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Speaker 2: wife's like, really like this clarn ship, like that's wrong

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Speaker 2: with you.

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Speaker 4: And now you just blow kissing him what she said.

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Speaker 1: But talking about the importance of more part of that,

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Speaker 1: his wife goes, if somebody just blow kissing, he goes,

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Speaker 1: that was charlat maney.

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Speaker 5: I think that's beautiful that your spouses can laugh at that.

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Speaker 5: They can't.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how long it took me laugh at first.

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Speaker 3: I don't think they thought it was that funny.

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Speaker 2: Talk about the importance of a good partner and a

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Speaker 2: good spouse when you're going through those things, because you know,

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Speaker 2: Charlamage and myself talk about when you're really faithful in

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Speaker 2: your marriage and life, it opens up a whole another life,

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Speaker 2: another category, another.

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Speaker 5: A whole nother round of favor. Absolutely that comes upon

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Speaker 5: your life after word, Yes, a whole nother round of favor,

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Speaker 5: because sometimes you feel like you'res an't worth nothing and

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Speaker 5: we're living off the other. Having a good spouse is

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Speaker 5: the opposite of having a bad one, okay, And I

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Speaker 5: think a lot of the world is experiencing bad relationships.

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Speaker 5: But you hear so much about what it takes to

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Speaker 5: being a good one. To being a good one means

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Speaker 5: you survive a lot of bad things. I don't know

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Speaker 5: anybody that's been in a great relationship that doesn't have

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Speaker 5: stories of wounds and cuts and memories where things have

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Speaker 5: gone bad. That's what makes it good. That you can

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Speaker 5: go through the storms and go through the rain and

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Speaker 5: still remain. And there'll be times where you feel like

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Speaker 5: walking away. There'll be times when you feel like departing.

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Speaker 5: You take your take mind, or you just take it

436
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 5: all in our bounce. But the love, the commitment, the

437
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 5: responsibility to become the one that you want to be

438
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 5: drives everything. My wife, her name is Latasha. She's been

439
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 5: with me. I didn't have anything, but that's not true.

440
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 5: I did have something. My credit was bad. That's what

441
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 5: was bad. Yeah, I had things, but my credit was

442
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 5: bad and I was able to get things without the credit.

443
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 5: But she looked at the credit and said, Yo, your

444
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 5: credit is terrible. I can fix it for you. I

445
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 5: said what she said, I can fix it for you.

446
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 5: So she fixed my credit credit went up, and she's like, yo,

447
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 5: I can handle the money. And that was different from

448
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 5: me because I don't know. I've never been socialized into

449
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 5: manhood where the woman handled the money. But she could

450
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 5: handle the money. So I let our relationship be our relationship.

451
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 5: At first, I was a little bit embarrassed. I had

452
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 5: this myth of manhood that if she's doing this, and

453
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 5: she's doing this, it's going to make me look stupid.

454
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 5: But I realize, my marriage is my marriage. It's not yours,

455
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 5: and it is not yours, and it's not until I'm

456
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 5: a toured as a man that I understand what goes

457
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 5: on in my house is my house. I don't care

458
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 5: what's happening in your house. So your spouse has to

459
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 5: have the ability to endure it with the worst of

460
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 5: you and the best of you. And likewise, and just

461
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 5: make sure that you guys are on the same page

462
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 5: with raising children, all right. Make sure you're on the

463
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 5: same page with raising children so that you can recreate

464
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 5: something beautiful and not create something that's going to be

465
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 5: a monster.

466
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 6: But the steps of that for people like if you

467
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 6: both don't have children, or even if one person does

468
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 6: have children, sometimes you don't know how person is until

469
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,400
Speaker 6: they're in a situation, even if you have conversations prior

470
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 6: to like what are the real steps to know?

471
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 5: I don't think that there is a a cookie cutter

472
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 5: step because we're all different. I think when we spend

473
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 5: time with each other, what are you actually doing? If

474
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 5: you're just having sex, smoking and drinking and they're having

475
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,640
Speaker 5: a real conversation about who you are, where you come from,

476
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 5: what do you like? What don't you like? I think

477
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 5: all those things need to be talked about first. What

478
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 5: makes you happy? What makes you sad? When you get angry?

479
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 5: Do you throw things? Do you cuss? Do you go off?

480
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 5: Do you belittle me? Can you encourage me when you

481
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 5: don't like me? Can you still show up for me

482
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 5: when you want to leave me if we have to

483
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 5: go to a function? Will you embarrass me even though

484
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 5: you're upset with me? How do you want to be appreciated?

485
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 5: How do you want me to leave you alone? How

486
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 5: do we argue?

487
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 2: Is?

488
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 5: What is what is the what are the what are

489
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:53,640
Speaker 5: our parameters for arguing? Ours? Was? Listen? If you leave,

490
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,159
Speaker 5: you come back, don't stay gone, and don't go to

491
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 5: nobody else's house and spend the night if you don't

492
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 5: want to talk to me going to the other room.

493
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 5: But at some point in time there must be a resolution.

494
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 5: I think all those things matter because then we have

495
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 5: people that get married because the sex is great. We

496
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 5: get married because we got money, and the kids are

497
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 5: gonna be pretty because we both look good. But we've

498
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 5: done none of the other work to discover what we like.

499
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 5: If you're Catholic and I'm Protestant. If you're Catholic, do

500
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 5: you want the kids to be all of that little

501
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 5: bitty stuff that we avoid because we're attracted. Those things

502
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 5: need to be discussed. Then let's go to counseling. Let's

503
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 5: go to counseling and see what happens. If we're Christian,

504
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 5: let's also go visit the Christian counselors. We're don't have

505
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 5: to be the pastor what is it that they're saying

506
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 5: about our relationship? And I walk with God because I

507
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 5: don't want to get in our in our marriage and

508
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 5: find out you you don't believe the way I believe?

509
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 5: Why am I just not finding that out? All of

510
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 5: those little things need to be discussed before we ever

511
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 5: even talk about kids. Then we start talking talking about it.

512
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 5: How are we going to raise our children? How many

513
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 5: children do you want? What kind of school do you

514
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 5: want them to go to? Do you believe in corporate punishments?

515
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 5: I think that's the right word of beating your kids

516
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 5: or soft parented, whatever the correct words are. I think

517
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 5: all those things matter before we do it. But we're backwards.

518
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 5: We have sex first, we like the feeling first. Then

519
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 5: we get together. Then we stay together and either end

520
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 5: up with come in law marriage or we go ahead

521
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 5: and get married because we're already pregnant, and then we

522
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 5: wrestle with all the other stuff later. Just flip the script.

523
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 5: We know what to do, just reverse the order to

524
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 5: flip the script.

525
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 7: For No, we don't know how apt.

526
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 6: We are very intentional about a lot of the things.

527
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,120
Speaker 6: This is probably the first time ever. I mean, I'm

528
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 6: thirty three, so I'm pretty young, but this is the

529
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 6: first time that I feel like my intention is actually

530
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 6: like matched, and even when it's not the best thing,

531
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 6: like I'm not the best person and vice versa, it's

532
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 6: still like a no, we're going we sit down, We're

533
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 6: about to talk about this. And I've never in certain conversations,

534
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 6: I've never had like we had a financial conversation the other

535
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 6: day and I was like, no.

536
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 7: One has ever.

537
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 5: It's the first time you had ever?

538
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was. It's very new, but so it's been

539
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 6: some months. But we've been dating for longer than that.

540
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 6: But we've been dating for about a year. But officially, yes,

541
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 6: it is, Yes.

542
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 4: It is.

543
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 5: That is not new. I wish I had a computer?

544
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 5: Do you like you do?

545
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 7: The only reason knew is because she had.

546
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 4: First of all, she just thought so one of them

547
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 4: fell off. That's not true.

548
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 7: No, that's not He's framing this completely wrong. Okay.

549
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 6: So the only reason why I say it's new is

550
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 6: because I think I've had to learn. I've had to

551
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 6: learn how to be very different in this stage in

552
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 6: my life, not even relationship, just because of like career

553
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 6: and a lot of things. So I took a lot

554
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 6: more time with certain things this time around.

555
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 7: See sexual sex.

556
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 5: What did you do different about it?

557
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 6: We just it took some more time before it happened,

558
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 6: which is very different from me. We also we also public,

559
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 6: like being in public with each other. I took time

560
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 6: before I did that. It's still in public sneaky videos,

561
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 6: we're still taking.

562
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 7: I feel.

563
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 6: Now even got one year we've been dating for you,

564
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 6: that's a long time.

565
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 7: That's still very new though.

566
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 5: Have you slept with him within three and sixty five days? Yes,

567
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 5: okay you have. You have had sex with this man

568
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 5: multiple times. Uh huh, look at your smith. Can you tell?

569
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 7: Where are you showing him?

570
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 5: What is going on here? This is not her?

571
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 7: No, it's not he keep showing people this video. That's

572
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 7: not me.

573
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 4: You are God watching you.

574
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 5: This is not you know that person that was a birthday.

575
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 6: That has nothing to do with me nor the situation

576
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 6: we're having a conversation about.

577
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 5: That was your birthday?

578
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 7: Is that him like two years ago?

579
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 5: That's not the same him. That's another hymn.

580
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 7: I don't know.

581
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 6: Guy that I was kissing in the restaurant and the

582
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 6: guy that just got posted kind of at the Eagles game.

583
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 6: That is where we are. That is my man, and

584
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 6: that's the only thing we should be talking about.

585
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 3: You keep bringing in life.

586
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 6: That I don't know why I keep bringing up things.

587
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 7: Are not important.

588
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 5: What I'm saying is this exactly what you just said.

589
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 5: You've slept with this man. You have a smile on

590
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 5: your face. You are you're enjoying that you have slept

591
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 5: with this man multiple times. You should be that enthusiastic

592
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 5: about everything else.

593
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 6: But I'm saying this is the first time that I am.

594
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 6: Like in others situations, there have been things that I think.

595
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 5: When did you find out about his credit? And what month?

596
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 7: Probably like within the first month, then.

597
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 5: When did you sleep with him? You don't want to

598
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 5: tell me, Okay, this is so how we No, I'm

599
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 5: just you know, I don't even want to go there.

600
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 6: This is not about I think so for me also

601
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 6: to this situation, I think you asked the question no,

602
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 6: and I want to have the conversation. That's how we

603
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 6: haven't it.

604
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 3: But as you just pray now, I want to get

605
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 3: this out because I.

606
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 6: Want to hear what you have to say because one

607
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 6: of the things I enjoyed learning was how you and

608
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 6: your wife are in your fight. Because one of the

609
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 6: things I've realized with us is we're both in kind

610
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 6: of like the trying to figure out our life separate

611
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 6: of a relationship, but it just so happens that we're

612
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 6: together doing it now. And I thought that it was

613
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 6: great how she knowed, how she knew how to support you,

614
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 6: and because sometimes things can feel.

615
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 5: Like it's my wife, his girlfriend.

616
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 7: Yes, but still even in Franks, even in friendship.

617
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 5: It's a completely different responsibility and a completely different role.

618
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 7: But take out relationship like girlfriend.

619
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 6: Even in friendships, right, there are times where you feel

620
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 6: like you're giving more to a friendship than you're receiving.

621
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 6: And you talked about vulnerability and vulnerability being a bad thing.

622
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 6: That was the first time I've ever heard somebody say that.

623
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 6: And the reason why I brought it up is because

624
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 6: in situations like this, when things do feel good, you're

625
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 6: always wondering, am I allowing certain things to happen because

626
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 6: it feels good? Or is it really where it's supposed

627
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 6: to be? Relationship, friendship, whatever? How do you deal with

628
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 6: that thought?

629
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 5: I don't want to go to that thought because I

630
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 5: want to go back to your first original thought. This

631
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 5: is an escape, go back to where we were. Go ahead,

632
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 5: When did you find out about his credit first.

633
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 6: Month or first month of us being in a relationship,

634
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 6: not the first month of us dating. So what's the

635
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 6: difference Because when we were dating, it was casual stuff,

636
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 6: so it was like dinner, it was phone conversations.

637
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 7: It wasn't you.

638
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 5: Know, did y'all talk about your faith?

639
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 7: Yes?

640
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,959
Speaker 6: When that was probably like one of our first in

641
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 6: person conversations.

642
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 5: So how long did it take from phone to in person?

643
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,080
Speaker 5: What do you mean you did phone first.

644
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 7: Then you did in person first?

645
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 6: Because this is someone that I already knew, Like we

646
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 6: went to college together for a bit, So we did

647
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 6: in person first and then.

648
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 7: The phone kind of. Guys were friends, Yeah, we were

649
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 7: cool before.

650
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 5: Did y'all sleep together when y'all was cool?

651
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 6: No? No desire, No, there was desire, but it didn't happen.

652
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 6: And that's what I'm saying. I took the conversation. Yeah,

653
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 6: like there was definitely desire.

654
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, so you wanted this guy already? Did he want

655
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 5: you already?

656
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 7: I don't know if I ever asked him that, I

657
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 7: don't think.

658
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 5: So what made you? Did he ask you out? Or

659
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 5: did you ask him out?

660
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 6: We got together as friends just he was like, you

661
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 6: know you're in Jersey, would love to take you out

662
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 6: the happy hour celebrate everything got going on.

663
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 5: It wasn't he who initiated the turn.

664
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 7: I initiated the turn.

665
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 4: Aggressive, especially on that cast ago.

666
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 5: Living out a lot left.

667
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 6: It wasn't even about no, it wasn't me being aggressive

668
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 6: on Cosumigos. It was when we said our first time

669
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 6: in person, that happy hour conversation. I was sitting there

670
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 6: and I'm like, man, this man is amazing, Like I

671
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 6: would love to get to know more about him, not

672
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 6: just as my fear.

673
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,399
Speaker 5: Now, let me ask you this. When you said that,

674
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 5: where were you psychologically emotionally? Did you know yourself before

675
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 5: you made that decision?

676
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 7: No, I don't think I fully know myself.

677
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 5: Now, how much of yourself do you know? What do

678
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:28,760
Speaker 5: you know about yourself?

679
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 6: I know a lot about myself, but I don't think

680
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 6: that I'm fully through like my fight, Like.

681
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 5: So you're still fighting one hundred.

682
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 6: I didn't even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year,

683
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 6: because I didn't know that it was a fight to

684
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 6: be had.

685
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 5: I just figured that's so powerful because I just told

686
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 5: him that that sometimes when you were in a relationship,

687
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 5: this is not your relationship.

688
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 7: Go a head. I'm enjoying this.

689
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 5: Yeah. I think sometimes when you're in a relationship, when

690
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:58,240
Speaker 5: you get healed, when you actually find you, it opens

691
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,879
Speaker 5: up your eyes so much that you start looking at

692
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 5: all of your choices and all of your decisions, and

693
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 5: you can see the unhealthy picks, the unhealthy partners, the

694
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 5: unhealthy conversations, now, and it's hard to speak to sick people.

695
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 5: And I'm not pointing at anybody specific, it's hard to

696
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 5: have a conversation with sick people because you yourself didn't know

697
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,240
Speaker 5: you were sick, and now you realize that, hey, I'm better,

698
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 5: but I created this sickness or I played a part

699
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 5: in the sickness that becomes difficult, which is what I

700
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 5: know we'll probably talk about with the holidays. When you're

701
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 5: going into the holidays. Should I be trying to discover

702
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 5: myself right now? And it's twofold. Its juxtaposition. If you

703
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 5: have a safe place, yes, If it's not safe, no,

704
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 5: because those conversations will turn into wars and it'll create

705
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 5: a horrible holiday experience. Yet, but if you have a

706
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 5: safe place and there is enough health in the room, mom, uncle, sister,

707
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 5: therapist somewhere, there has to be some safety for you

708
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 5: to retreat and then not necessarily isolation, but some alone

709
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 5: time for you to actually process and come out and talk.

710
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 5: You can move methodically through it. But if you are

711
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 5: healed your hold and you are connected to someone that

712
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 5: is sick, it's going to be a difficult path. How then,

713
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 5: my question to you, how do you have a healthy

714
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 5: conversation with an unhealthy person.

715
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 7: Right now, I just be doing it.

716
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 5: You just be doing it.

717
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 7: I think a lot of Yeah.

718
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 6: I mean, because I'm thinking about people in my life

719
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 6: that I love that I know they're not having.

720
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 7: They don't they're fit.

721
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 4: I don't know.

722
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 7: Lord, No, I'm telling the truth.

723
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 6: Like I'm literally every day I'm engaging with people that

724
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 6: I know are not in the best spaces, like in

725
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,760
Speaker 6: their fight, you know. But I don't have a choice

726
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 6: because these are people I love, Like it's my mother,

727
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 6: it's my you know.

728
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 7: Like, so you literally just get through it.

729
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 6: You set boundaries for certain conversations, but you I'm literally

730
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 6: just doing it some days because I don't have a choice.

731
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 7: Like what do you do in a situation like that?

732
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 5: It's very difficult. It's going to be a war, and

733
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 5: you have to be prepared. And this is what I'm

734
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 5: saying to you. Once you go through your journey, and

735
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 5: you're going through your journey right now, I've gone through mine.

736
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 5: Now I'm evolving, all right, because like you said, you

737
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 5: don't just get there and stop. Not the same man

738
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 5: you are thirty five or forty five, fifty five, You're

739
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 5: gonna change you're gonna evrol. But coming into self, coming

740
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 5: into knowledge of self, knowing who I am, knowing that

741
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 5: I know why I get upset about certain things. I

742
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 5: know why certain things trigger me. I know when I

743
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 5: need to remove myself. I know when I need to

744
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 5: go in stronger because I'm aware of me. Now. Because

745
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 5: I'm aware of me, it helps I help myself in

746
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 5: the unhealthy conversation. I don't make it more unhealthy. I

747
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 5: don't make it more toxic because at one point I

748
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 5: was I would keep pushing and keep pushing and keep

749
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 5: pushing because I'm trying to get you to understand what

750
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,720
Speaker 5: I'm saying. But I realized you're never going to understand.

751
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 5: You don't have the capacity. So what I've learned now

752
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 5: is that now that I faultifying me, there's no need

753
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 5: for me to fight you because you don't know you.

754
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 5: I need to retreat and let you be you and

755
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 5: come back on another time to have a conversation.

756
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 6: Do you do that differently in different situations, because like,

757
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,760
Speaker 6: for instance, with my dad, I do that all the time,

758
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,359
Speaker 6: but with other people I go all the way like

759
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 6: that's not happening. Like, so, do you feel like you're

760
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 6: more in your fight, you further along with certain people

761
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 6: in certain situations.

762
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 5: Okay, so different, yea, because they're diferent people, different relationships,

763
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 5: different levels of covenant. Yeah, definitely, definitely.

764
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 2: I will say this though, y'all having that conversation to Prust,

765
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 2: it is shut of me.

766
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 3: Why I'm gonna.

767
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 5: Tell you, why depress me.

768
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you why I met my wife At sixteen.

769
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 2: I didn't care about credit. I didn't care about how

770
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: much money she had. I didn't care about religion at

771
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 2: the time.

772
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 5: I just was close to.

773
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 2: Somebody that was my friend and that we were starting

774
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 2: a relationship, and we did it all together, right.

775
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 3: And now later on we did everything together. We built our.

776
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 2: Credit together, we built our businesses together, we built religion together, right.

777
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 2: But I couldn't imagine dating somebody and all that in

778
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:30,760
Speaker 2: my mind.

779
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 5: You gotta think credit, you gotta think religion.

780
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 3: You gotta think uh, you know, what does he think

781
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 3: about kids? And this?

782
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 1: That?

783
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 5: And you ever went.

784
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:39,800
Speaker 2: All I want to do is see if I'm compative.

785
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:43,320
Speaker 7: You were sixteen and there's a lot less on the

786
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 7: line at that age.

787
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 2: But also I want to see somebody that you loved

788
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 2: and then you grow into.

789
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 3: He's a Baptist. You could figure it out later.

790
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 4: Like me and my wife have been together since teenagers.

791
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: You know, even though we may not have been discussing

792
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: those things, we were discussing, all right, some some sort

793
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: of interest even at that.

794
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 7: It's just not as heavy they're talking about.

795
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,760
Speaker 2: But I think things you don't.

796
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 6: Do that, like you start building a friendship first. So

797
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 6: first I was just like, let me see if I

798
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 6: just like him as a person.

799
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 4: I feel like this.

800
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 1: But I knew I was gonna marry that woman when

801
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 1: I was a teenager, absolutely, Like from the moment I

802
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: had her, I knew I didn't.

803
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 4: Wife, and I didn't have all that. Yeah, I did

804
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 4: that immediately.

805
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 7: She did your wife know? No, So neither one of

806
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 7: you guys know.

807
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 5: We were older too, you know what I'm saying. So sixteen,

808
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 5: I was in my thirties, so it was nothing like that.

809
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 5: And I had already had a divorce. She had had

810
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 5: terrible relationships about to be married, marriage crashed out, so

811
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 5: she was in a different place. Our situation was like this, Yo,

812
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 5: We're gonna date for about a few months if this

813
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 5: thing ain't working. It's just the part she said. I

814
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 5: think you're a great speaker. I like your church. If

815
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 5: it don't work, I want to keep going to your church.

816
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 5: I was like, okay, cool. So when we met, man,

817
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 5: we met at some of the most craziest places, like

818
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 5: the waffle house. I would I would back in at

819
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 5: the waffle house. She would pull in at the waffle house.

820
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 5: So I'm on the driver's side, she's on her driver side,

821
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 5: and we'd be talking if we went to eat. She

822
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 5: paid for her bill. I pay for my bill. I

823
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 5: don't owe you nothing. You don't owe me nothing. We

824
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 5: were grown we were grown people. And then when we

825
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 5: got into the relationship and we were like, hey, we

826
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 5: really like you. Well, at that time, I'm a grown man.

827
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, look, I got to make sure everything's

828
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 5: tight because this woman already has a house, so I'm

829
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,760
Speaker 5: not gonna take her to an apartment. She owns her home,

830
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 5: she has a car, she has a great job. I

831
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 5: had a great job, so I needed to make sure

832
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:43,760
Speaker 5: that moved her up and that moved her across.

833
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 6: There's nothing wrong with that, But how did that stifle

834
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 6: you guys relationship?

835
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 7: If it didn't, because I feel like.

836
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 3: If you're gotta have bad credit, you wouldn't beat it.

837
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:54,720
Speaker 5: No, you would say, let me help your credit.

838
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 3: Because maybe that's the part of his life. He just

839
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 3: did not yet.

840
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 6: But you have to be I think me establishing I

841
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 6: like him as a person. We were sleeping on the floor.

842
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 6: We're gonna figure it out. But I had to know

843
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 6: that for sure. And then after that, I'm like, Okay,

844
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,280
Speaker 6: now let's do all the dancing up things. What's your credit?

845
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 1: Like?

846
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 7: What you how are you as a like all those

847
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 7: type of things.

848
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 5: Likability part is a fact. If I don't like you,

849
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 5: we ain't going nowhere, you know. So we got to

850
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 5: like each other. I get you on net. Yeah, but

851
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 5: I just want to make sure you start evolving into

852
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 5: those other pieces. Because they face lit up about the sex,

853
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 5: but it didn't light up about nothing else.

854
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 7: I think it was just kind of like, too, is

855
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 7: you a pastor?

856
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 6: No, it's a little weird. It's a little weird talking

857
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 6: to you. No, it's we're talking to you about sex

858
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 6: or even him showing you that video. It's like, you're

859
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 6: a pastor?

860
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 5: What am I not a pastor? Because I'm having a conversation.

861
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 6: No, you still are a pastor, but there is I'm

862
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 6: not the first person that has reacted like it's a

863
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:51,800
Speaker 6: little weird talking about certain things because.

864
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 5: You're pastor you brought it up. I did it up.

865
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, But then when a reality hit it's like this is.

866
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 4: A pastor.

867
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: Pay Usually somebody who is lost doesn't know that they're lost.

868
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 1: So how do you identify being in that space? No boy,

869
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: lost in what regard just in life period, still figuring

870
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: it out, fighting to find it.

871
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 5: I don't think you. I don't think it's you're supposed

872
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 5: to identify. If the loss we're talking about, you're talking

873
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 5: about being in a relationship with somebody you love, or

874
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 5: you talking about this is your this is your friend,

875
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 5: what's the context a friend?

876
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:32,399
Speaker 7: He trying to talk to me, Your eyes keep lighting

877
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 7: up over there about everything else, but when he actually

878
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 7: got right.

879
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 5: Generic, if it's a friend, you.

880
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,919
Speaker 6: Think I'm lost in life. I don't think I'm lost

881
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 6: in life. I think that there are certain things that

882
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 6: I am figuring out.

883
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 1: But I think that it's easy to get lost in

884
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: the life that you are trying to live.

885
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:55,239
Speaker 5: Are you lost?

886
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 6: That's a very loaded like in what part of this

887
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 6: Like I'm trying to live to her.

888
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 4: And she's learning how to do a lot of different things.

889
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 5: I think that's normal.

890
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I'm very vocal about when I'm confused, when I.

891
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 6: Do feel lost or i am I do ask a

892
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 6: lot of questions, but.

893
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 1: Try to tell the path to what he wants. You'll

894
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: try to tell the past to what you want.

895
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 6: That happens too, But I think that that is me

896
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 6: when I've learned from talking to you. Most of the time,

897
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 6: it's you when I am in those situations. What I've

898
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 6: learned from it is I think it's because I've never

899
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 6: had to engage with because my dad and me are

900
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 6: like we talk here and there, but it's not like

901
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 6: a consistent thing.

902
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 7: So I've never had to.

903
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 6: Engage it with a man in a way where like

904
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 6: I take I take things in and I listen and

905
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 6: I trust it.

906
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,880
Speaker 7: It's always been I hear you, but like, yeah, whatever, you.

907
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 5: Need to find that out, you need to find out why.

908
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 6: And those are And that's what I'm saying. Everything is

909
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 6: evolving and changing at this level of life.

910
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 2: Past traumas that she's dealt with, which I understand why

911
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 2: she keeps one eye open. I think anybody would they

912
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 2: want to protect their heart.

913
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 1: And.

914
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 5: I think that's what this is about, because that's what

915
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,399
Speaker 5: this is about, you intentionally, because you use the word

916
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 5: intention intentionally going into those dark places and unearthing all

917
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 5: of that to actually deal with it so you can

918
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 5: go forward. Okay, You got to get to the point

919
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 5: where you can have those conversations without having to do this. Okay,

920
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 5: understanding that there is a possibility that you're going to

921
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 5: get hurt and there's nothing you can do about it.

922
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 5: So why keep crippling yourself.

923
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 3: Just live.

924
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,760
Speaker 5: He could hurt me today, I could hurt him today,

925
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:44,439
Speaker 5: I could hurt my spouse today, my wife today. There's

926
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 5: nothing she can do about it. Nothing. She wouldn't see

927
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 5: it coming, or she may see it coming, but there's

928
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 5: still nothing she could do about it. So live, and

929
00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 5: the way to live is to do this surgery. Go

930
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 5: into you go into the fight, and you got to

931
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 5: dig underneath all of that success because that's where it is,

932
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,760
Speaker 5: and that's what makes it hard. When you have actually

933
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 5: been successful, you're successful at what you do, people know

934
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 5: there's a demand for what you do. Forget what everybody's

935
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 5: success definition is. There's a demand for you, and you

936
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 5: get paid to do what you do very very well.

937
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 5: And when you have to push all that aside and

938
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 5: dig down into stuff that's old. It'll make you tremble,

939
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 5: it'll make you want to quit it, it'll make you

940
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 5: want to stop. But that's the part. You need to

941
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 5: get it now because you're going to go higher than this.

942
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 5: At some point you're gonna blow past them and you

943
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 5: have your own show. But you got it. You have

944
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 5: to do the work now. You don't want to do it,

945
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:52,760
Speaker 5: then do it now. Dig now, Struggle now, cry now,

946
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 5: scream now, holler. Now. You're gonna have answers for other

947
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 5: women and other men, I promise you, But you gotta

948
00:46:58,719 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 5: do the work.

949
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 1: I don't sound that self accountability hearing you though, I

950
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:10,359
Speaker 1: hear you.

951
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 7: That's the biggest thing is I do hear you. I

952
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 7: just do always, just like to hear it from you.

953
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:15,760
Speaker 4: Why.

954
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 6: I think the way he goes about it sometimes it's

955
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 6: not the best.

956
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 7: It's very loud, it's very yes.

957
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:24,919
Speaker 5: And what does he say?

958
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 1: Uh?

959
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 6: He doesn't care, No, he cares. We've had conversations like, yeah, Lauren, I.

960
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 2: Love your ball spot ass head, Like.

961
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 3: I'm try to help you out, Like what are some

962
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:38,399
Speaker 3: things he would say?

963
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 6: No, Like, We've had conversations because I look at them

964
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 6: as like mentors. And a lot of times I feel

965
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:45,720
Speaker 6: like in the space that I'm in because I don't

966
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 6: have anybody I can directly point to that's doing exactly

967
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 6: what I'm doing. I ask them questions or I just

968
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 6: watch what they do or how they talk or whatever.

969
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 6: So when they sell, when they say things to me,

970
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:57,800
Speaker 6: what they say to me matters. So if he says

971
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 6: something and he may not understand how I took how

972
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 6: he said it, he's like, oh, you're emotional. It's not

973
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 6: Maybe it is emotion, but I think it's emotion because

974
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 6: I value there's values. Hear what you're taking your time

975
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:11,960
Speaker 6: to say, even if you don't know you're taking your

976
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 6: time to say. I value that. So I think sometimes

977
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 6: the disconnect is how he sees my He thinks I'm

978
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 6: just like and I'm not always her. Sometimes it's like, no,

979
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 6: I'm really listening. I'm taking it what you're saying.

980
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 5: You just so, how often do you all have the

981
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 5: conversation of how you're actually taking it in?

982
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 7: We had it yesterday, Yeah, how did it go?

983
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 1: I feel like it to come around to the point

984
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,919
Speaker 1: that she took it wrong.

985
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 3: So I will say this.

986
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:42,720
Speaker 5: He's very hard.

987
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 3: Pause.

988
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 2: Right, he's very hard on people that he loves. It's

989
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 2: just who you're the person. I'm knowing him for fifteen

990
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 2: twenty years.

991
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 3: That's who he is as a person.

992
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 1: Right.

993
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 2: If he doesn't love you, he's not gonna be on

994
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 2: you at all. He's gonna let you slip, he gonna

995
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 2: let you fall, he gonna let you trip. That's the

996
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:56,280
Speaker 2: way he talks.

997
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 3: No gloves on. It is what it is.

998
00:48:58,920 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 5: Me.

999
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm more to have soft gloves on yet, because I

1000
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,320
Speaker 2: want you to understand what I'm saying, got it? And

1001
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 2: it's two different styles of the way we communicate.

1002
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 3: That's just who he is.

1003
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 5: And so how are you navigating knowing or did you

1004
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 5: already know or not know?

1005
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 7: I've learned it.

1006
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 6: I kind of feel like meeting him, I kind of

1007
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 6: saw behind like when I started thinking about what his

1008
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:22,239
Speaker 6: intention was behind things. And I had to do that

1009
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 6: because when you're on a public platform like this, people

1010
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 6: don't know our internal vibes, right, They only see what

1011
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 6: they see. So when I'm out in the world and

1012
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 6: people are talking to me about them, because I know

1013
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 6: their intentions, it's not really much you can tell me

1014
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 6: about them, right, So that helped me kind of understand it,

1015
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 6: but I think if I'm being honest, I'm just not

1016
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 6: used to receiving that. So a lot of times my

1017
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 6: instinct is like what or I'm not trying to hear that,

1018
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,399
Speaker 6: or yeah, but you need to correct the way you're talking,

1019
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 6: and sometimes it's like yeah, but I just want you

1020
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 6: to hear what I'm saying. Also like there, I feel

1021
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 6: like there should be accountability on both sides, because even

1022
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,839
Speaker 6: if what you're saying is correct, sometimes the way that

1023
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:59,360
Speaker 6: it's said, it's not emotion it's just what's your end

1024
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 6: goal If you're in my goal is too direct, and

1025
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 6: make sure that I'm not slipping.

1026
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 5: I don't.

1027
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,439
Speaker 6: I'll turn off like I'm just like okay, well whatever,

1028
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 6: I don't care. We don't got to do it, and

1029
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 6: I don't want to get I don't want to be

1030
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 6: in that space. So for myself, the accountability I'm taking

1031
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 6: is like yesterday, at the end of it, I was like,

1032
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 6: you know what I did, even if it was emotion

1033
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 6: I did say, you know what, I'm turning everything off.

1034
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 7: I don't care.

1035
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 6: We'll just get to the rest of the day. I

1036
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 6: don't want to show up like that because my life

1037
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,879
Speaker 6: and career depend on me not showing up like that.

1038
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 6: But also it felt good to be able to be like, yeah,

1039
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 6: but you see what you just said here and how

1040
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 6: you said it. That's why I took it this way,

1041
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 6: and maybe you should think about that.

1042
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 4: I didn't even say nothing. That's what made it even

1043
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:38,799
Speaker 4: crazy to you. No, No, I didn't say it was

1044
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 4: an action, had.

1045
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 5: It on video because to you, you didn't because it's

1046
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 5: just you. But to her body language, tone, temperament, language,

1047
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 5: everything but speaking.

1048
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 1: I was talking to the twitch right. So it's a

1049
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: bunch of people. So I'm already in mid conversation. She

1050
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 1: comes in to tell me something. I answer the questions

1051
00:50:58,640 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: that I go, Oh, I go, this what you want

1052
00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: to talk about? Then Envy responded to her like, oh

1053
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 1: you want to talk about?

1054
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 4: She walked out and I.

1055
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 7: Was like, whatever, we ain't gonna do it. I'm not fighting.

1056
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 4: Story, and she was like, because you acted like you

1057
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 4: didn't want to do it, Like what.

1058
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: Did I do?

1059
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:20,880
Speaker 5: Were you already upset? No? So this whole situation turned.

1060
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 5: It triggered you.

1061
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was very yes, And so.

1062
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 5: My question to you is what in that trigger is

1063
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 5: in you? Because that's normal for you.

1064
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:34,799
Speaker 6: I think it was the dismissiveness that it was the

1065
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 6: we just said, even though it was very small, it

1066
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,760
Speaker 6: was just like I'm not good at Like what was it?

1067
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 4: I didn't dismiss.

1068
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 5: This part.

1069
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 2: It's the acceptance, right, And I'm gonna tell you why

1070
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 2: I can agree with that. And I'm gonna tell you

1071
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 2: why I told her she's amazing at what she does. Right,

1072
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,319
Speaker 2: you come with your chest out and you do your job.

1073
00:51:58,800 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 3: You do what you know what's right.

1074
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:02,439
Speaker 2: Now. Mind you, there's some things will miss, I said,

1075
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 2: but you do what you know what's right.

1076
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:05,399
Speaker 5: That's why you're here. Right.

1077
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:07,839
Speaker 2: I play my mix. I play the songs in my

1078
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 2: mix because I'm the DJ. Now there's times to show

1079
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,240
Speaker 2: them me, Like Yo, it's so and So's birthday.

1080
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 3: Did you do the mix?

1081
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 2: Okay?

1082
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 3: Cool?

1083
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:13,799
Speaker 1: Yo?

1084
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:14,879
Speaker 3: Do you hear that song? Yes?

1085
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 2: Because you're always open to hear things, say thing with

1086
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 2: Charlom donkey.

1087
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 3: He picks that donkey.

1088
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 2: But if there's somebody that comes to here and be like, yo,

1089
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:22,839
Speaker 2: you should check this out, he's not gonna be like nah,

1090
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 2: I ain't come up with that idea.

1091
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 3: It's a community.

1092
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,919
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like she's worried about are they gonna

1093
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 2: like these stories?

1094
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:31,800
Speaker 4: Is this cool to do?

1095
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 5: Oh?

1096
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 3: Okay, yes? And what did I tell you yesterday?

1097
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 6: Don't worry about that? And it's so crazy because I

1098
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 6: feel like, why you're here. In the beginning, I didn't

1099
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 6: even like. I was just like, Okay, I know who

1100
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 6: will like and who won't like, and it doesn't matter.

1101
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 6: But now I think I'm so invested into it and

1102
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 6: I don't know what the thing is. But I'm so

1103
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 6: invested into like this thing that I'm trying to make

1104
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:56,719
Speaker 6: sure yes, yes, yes like and the balance of it

1105
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 6: be driving me crazy.

1106
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,399
Speaker 7: Sometimes I'm like, do I not know what I'm doing?

1107
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 5: What I'm doing with my mentor my pastor When I

1108
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 5: moved to speak there for him and he says, hey,

1109
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 5: you up tonight, it was the most scariest thing ever. Okay,

1110
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 5: so it's twenty thousand people watching, and he watched. I

1111
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 5: ain't even worried about the twenty thousand. I'm worried about

1112
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 5: the one him. He said, at home doing this And

1113
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:22,320
Speaker 5: when I got done, I looked at the phone. He says,

1114
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 5: what are you doing? I said, I'm packing my thing,

1115
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:31,439
Speaker 5: coming to my house. Now. When I got there, he says,

1116
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 5: what was you thinking, I said, I did. I was,

1117
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 5: so I said, You're gonna fire me. I got scared immediately.

1118
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 5: He said, no, I even to fire you. He said,

1119
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 5: was why do you always think I'm gonna fire you?

1120
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,359
Speaker 5: Because I'm talking to you, trying to figure out what's

1121
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 5: going on with you. I'm trying to help you. I've

1122
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 5: never had anybody his status, his caliber even invested me

1123
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 5: like that, and I didn't know what it even looked like.

1124
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 5: He was the best. At one point, I was trying

1125
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 5: to make sure that he please more than I was.

1126
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 5: That God was pleased. Okay, and hear me. I know

1127
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 5: people gonna hear what I said and try to throw

1128
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 5: it anyway. I love God, but God that gave me

1129
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 5: this amazing teacher. So I'm taking notes, trying to I

1130
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,800
Speaker 5: understand exactly where you are. I don't want to slip.

1131
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 5: I want this dude to still want me to be here.

1132
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:19,720
Speaker 5: And at some point he said, listen, if I didn't

1133
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 5: think you were good, you wouldn't be here. So quit

1134
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:24,759
Speaker 5: worrying about that.

1135
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:25,759
Speaker 3: Be you.

1136
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, you got to get better. Yeah you gotta study. Yeah,

1137
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 5: take notes, but throw everything at the glass door. Everything.

1138
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 5: Don't just halfway through it. Throw everything, and that's what

1139
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 5: I'm here to tell you. Throw everything at the glass door.

1140
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,240
Speaker 5: Don't worry about it. They like it or not. They

1141
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 5: want you here. Bring you to the A game. Bring

1142
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:48,879
Speaker 5: you to the game, Bring your A game to the game.

1143
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 5: That's who you are. They cannot be who they are

1144
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 5: without you, and you're gonna have to fight to do that, period,

1145
00:54:54,680 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 5: not them. Find yourself, lazy gentlem minute.

1146
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 4: I just want to write to.

1147
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 3: Fight to find yourself.

1148
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 2: Literally said, if you weren't good, to find yourself is

1149
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 2: out right now make.

1150
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:11,840
Speaker 3: Sure you go get it.

1151
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 1: I got one more cau just one moment that was perfect.

1152
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 1: I Did you write this book for the person you

1153
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:27,240
Speaker 1: used to be or the person you're becoming.

1154
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 5: That's a great question both mm hm for both the

1155
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 5: person I used to be needs to see it and

1156
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:37,479
Speaker 5: the person that I am needs to see it because

1157
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 5: there are stories in there that keep me grounded, that says, hey,

1158
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 5: it ain't always been the way it is. God is

1159
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 5: blessing you, and it is because all of these stories

1160
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 5: what helped propel you to get you where you are.

1161
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 5: Keep me grounded, Close us on the prayer. That's what

1162
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 5: we thank you for. This amazing opportunity to be with

1163
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 5: my brothers and my sister. We asked you bless her

1164
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 5: as she continues to fight to find her up and

1165
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,399
Speaker 5: move in this industry, that she is more than enough

1166
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,920
Speaker 5: and she's capable of taking it to the next dimension.

1167
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 5: We thank you for both of my brothers who have

1168
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:11,280
Speaker 5: been staples in this industry for a long time. Continue

1169
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 5: to allow their minds to evolve. Bless their families, Bless

1170
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 5: their children. Everyone is to connect it to them God

1171
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:20,360
Speaker 5: as they continue to soar in their fields. Father, we

1172
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 5: thank you for the day. We thank you for another

1173
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 5: opportunity to praise your name were asud you seal it.

1174
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 5: We thank you for your glory and your divine grace

1175
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 5: in Jesus name. Amen, Amen, thank you all. You got

1176
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 5: to do it one more time.

1177
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 3: The Breakfast Club in the morning. Every day I wake.

1178
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:40,880
Speaker 5: Breakfast Club.

1179
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 4: Y'all done.