Speaker 1: Well, I invite, did you hear.
Speaker 2: Thought?
Speaker 3: I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to
Speaker 3: my home. You gotta come to me empty And I said,
Speaker 3: no guests. Your presences presents enough. I already had too
Speaker 3: much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey.
Speaker 4: Mean welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Wineker.
Speaker 4: We're in the backyard. It's raining. It is raining. I
Speaker 4: don't know if you can hear that kind of dropping, dropping, dropping.
Speaker 4: I hope that the sound of rain is not as
Speaker 4: triggering for you as it is for me. I'm slowly
Speaker 4: kind of trying to re embrace the rain can sound
Speaker 4: nice now that my home isn't flooding. But what else
Speaker 4: is going on? I tried some jeans on in a
Speaker 4: bathroom stall last week. This is you know, thrift stores
Speaker 4: have gotten rid of their dressing rooms, and it's just unacceptable.
Speaker 4: I had to sneak my jeans into the men's restroom
Speaker 4: and try them on in a bathroom stall. Where are
Speaker 4: what's happening? Where are we not?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: Is it saverers? But this is also happening at Goodwill
Speaker 4: all of these places. I want to shame them. Let
Speaker 4: me try my pants on in your business. I don't
Speaker 4: want to be in the bathroom. I'm just gonna have
Speaker 4: to start stealing them. Oh what am I talking about.
Speaker 4: Let's talk to the guest. I adore today's guest. It's
Speaker 4: Lily Sullivan. Hello, Lily, Welcome, Toya.
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 4: I'm thrilled to have you here. And I don't know.
Speaker 4: I think it may be the rain. That's just you know,
Speaker 4: I feel like I brought an interesting energy.
Speaker 1: It's peaceful.
Speaker 4: Okay, good, it's starting to sound nice. This used to
Speaker 4: as of last like the last two weeks. I'm like,
Speaker 4: the rain can can not be getting everything wet?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I want the mood, but I don't want
Speaker 1: the logistics of its raining to go to the grocery
Speaker 1: store in the rain exactly, which I mean. I lived
Speaker 1: in Chicago for a long time and in Colorado and
Speaker 1: the weather's.
Speaker 2: Way worse, way worse, but I never really.
Speaker 1: Bitched about it. And then now I come here and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, rain.
Speaker 4: Because there the weather is consistently different. Yes, you know,
Speaker 4: you get to deal with all these things all the time. Yep,
Speaker 4: here we get two weeks of rain, a year and
Speaker 4: full panic.
Speaker 1: It's completely changed who I am. I'm a different person.
Speaker 1: Your family doesn't recognize they don't know me anymore.
Speaker 5: No, I don't even speak to them. Yeah, we can
Speaker 5: go back.
Speaker 2: You're from Colorado, I am.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I grew up in Chicago till I was ten,
Speaker 1: and then I moved to Colorado with my mom. To
Speaker 1: tell your ride.
Speaker 4: Colorado okay, yeah, and I love to hear you say
Speaker 4: Colorado instead of Colorado.
Speaker 5: Well you know that Chicago accent is still with me.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like people in Colorado say Colorado.
Speaker 1: They do.
Speaker 4: Yes, We've talked about this on this podcast before. I
Speaker 4: just bring it up with people who are Colorado Colorado?
Speaker 1: Did you just say it like it's how?
Speaker 2: Did you just say I say Colorado.
Speaker 5: Because you're a Southwest person?
Speaker 2: Yes, and Colorado people say Colorado on at least you
Speaker 2: say Colorado right, Colorado.
Speaker 6: I literally never heard Colorado until I moved.
Speaker 1: To Colorado's Colorado was saying Colorado is insane.
Speaker 6: It's also ironic even like you think in Los Angeles,
Speaker 6: like people would know how to say rad right, like
Speaker 6: they'd be it'd be easy.
Speaker 4: For its culture bad and Nevada. People say, Nevada.
Speaker 1: No, that's insane, it's Nevada. Are you kidding?
Speaker 2: Medas you like, do.
Speaker 1: You like get taking places in a carriage? Like what
Speaker 1: are you talking about?
Speaker 2: We're talking about state with Reno.
Speaker 5: It's Nevada.
Speaker 2: It is Oh. I love to have my opinions confirmed
Speaker 2: on this podcast. That's why I bring people here.
Speaker 1: I love it too. I feel I feel safe now
Speaker 1: I'm amongst people say Nevada.
Speaker 2: Do you get back to Colorado often?
Speaker 1: I do? Yeah. I mean we started driving in the
Speaker 1: pandemic because we were just like you know, back when
Speaker 1: like there was like the fires were really bad here.
Speaker 1: For example, we were like, let's just get in the
Speaker 1: car and drive to my mom's house in Colorado, and
Speaker 1: it was like twelve hours straight. We got used to it,
Speaker 1: and now I'm like, oh, yeah, we just drive there.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's insane.
Speaker 2: Twelve hours and you don't stay over night anymore.
Speaker 1: No, we just go straight through and my husband basically
Speaker 1: drives the whole way, which doesn't also make any sense.
Speaker 2: How many breaks? How many stops are you taking?
Speaker 1: That's hard. I think we were stopping. It's hard to say,
Speaker 1: like five times, But like, is.
Speaker 2: This physically possible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like we because we get up like at the
Speaker 1: crack of dawn, get in the car, and you get
Speaker 1: like a solid like four hours of just like driving
Speaker 1: straight there, and then your body's like I have to
Speaker 1: pee and eat and like what's going on? And then
Speaker 1: you pull over and then the rest of the time
Speaker 1: it's pretty normal.
Speaker 2: Is that first stop in Las Vegas?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that general area of rock here or No, we
Speaker 1: don't go through Vegas anyway. You can go through Vegas,
Speaker 1: but most of the time we go through a different
Speaker 1: route which is much less scenic and dark and depressing.
Speaker 2: Wait is this up the five where it's all down?
Speaker 5: I don't know because I don't drive.
Speaker 1: I just sit there and the Google Maps takes care
Speaker 1: of it and my husband drives, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm like playing podcasts.
Speaker 2: What are you too? You're listening to mostly podcasts on
Speaker 2: the way. No music.
Speaker 1: We know lots of music. We like to do like
Speaker 1: a DJ thing where we each go you can say
Speaker 1: what the next song is. That's very dentating, and so
Speaker 1: usually we get into like oh, we're playing throwbacks now,
Speaker 1: or we're you know, I'm like, this is what I
Speaker 1: used to listen to when I was like in sixth
Speaker 1: grade getting ready to go to school like that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff.
Speaker 2: Can you name what that song would be? I would
Speaker 2: love to know.
Speaker 5: Definitely Mariah Carey.
Speaker 2: Rainbow, Oh fantastic.
Speaker 1: And it was also j Lo's album that same era.
Speaker 2: And then Nelly Sure, sure Nelly? What happened to Nelly?
Speaker 5: What happened to Nelly?
Speaker 4: Where'd he go? I feel like he had a he
Speaker 4: was like the biggest rapper.
Speaker 1: I know, he was huge. I know all the words
Speaker 1: to every single one of his songs. Still haven't listened
Speaker 1: to him since, but it's that ingrained.
Speaker 4: He went off a cliff. Must have done something to
Speaker 4: really make people mad.
Speaker 1: You really must have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder.
Speaker 4: I think he had like one year of superstardom yep,
Speaker 4: and then the band aid kind of did him in
Speaker 4: and then something happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I don't know, like was he canceled
Speaker 1: in some way or like industry canceled?
Speaker 2: Right, he pissed off the wrong person?
Speaker 1: This would make a good podcast, go into what happened
Speaker 1: in Nellie.
Speaker 2: Nelly? Reach Out? That's I know you are.
Speaker 4: Number one listener. Okay, well, what else has been going on?
Speaker 4: It's raining you're wearing denim.
Speaker 5: What's going on?
Speaker 1: I'm in Canadian taxedo looks great, Thank you. I don't
Speaker 1: know when I started doing this, but now I can't stop.
Speaker 4: I feel like everyone at some point kind of just
Speaker 4: shifts into wearing all denim and then it's just like
Speaker 4: it's part of the wardrobe.
Speaker 1: It's kind of I was thinking about this, actually it
Speaker 1: you know, it's kind of I'm seeing more and more
Speaker 1: Canadian taxedos again. But like five years ago people were
Speaker 1: wearing them all the time, and then like five years
Speaker 1: before that, it's like a five years things.
Speaker 4: Oh that's a really quick fashion cycle, isn't it. I
Speaker 4: guess it's because their denim is always a different shape,
Speaker 4: and we're just you know, shifting our tone tuxedo into
Speaker 4: the new shape. Yeah, we're all jay Leno in the end.
Speaker 5: Also, I feel you about the whole thrift story thing.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's tragic. We talk about this for a minute.
Speaker 5: It's absolutely tragic.
Speaker 4: I don't understand. Well, I actually know what's going on
Speaker 4: because I looked into it. They say they don't want
Speaker 4: to pay security. They're afraid that people are shoplifting from
Speaker 4: the dress.
Speaker 2: Come on, that's not stopping me from shoplifting.
Speaker 1: They're throwing half that stuff in the trash. Anyway, it's
Speaker 1: all free. Yeah what what?
Speaker 2: Just do whatever?
Speaker 1: I and also like, these are some of the poorest
Speaker 1: people who shop there regularly. Let them have some free stuff.
Speaker 2: I don't understand what we're even talking about.
Speaker 1: That makes me mad.
Speaker 4: It makes absolutely no sense. And the fact that I
Speaker 4: was able to just kind of take the jeans into
Speaker 4: the dressing room is like, well, I could have stolen
Speaker 4: them right there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly what are we talking You want me to steal?
Speaker 1: Steal?
Speaker 4: I will steal right in front of an employee, bring
Speaker 4: them up to me, and I will walk out of
Speaker 4: the store with.
Speaker 2: My new jeans. Don't make me so, I'm just not
Speaker 2: buying anything anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I go there and I kind of browse and think, well,
Speaker 4: what a world if we would be living in if
Speaker 4: I could try this all. Yes, but I don't feel
Speaker 4: like there's any coming back from much.
Speaker 1: No, I feel like you have to. It's either you
Speaker 1: go wearing like all spand X and you are going
Speaker 1: to dress yourself in front of everybody.
Speaker 2: That's a great idea.
Speaker 1: Well that's what I do.
Speaker 3: It.
Speaker 5: Like vintage fairs, you.
Speaker 2: Just go and lycra Yeah. Oh yeah, that's really not
Speaker 2: a bad idea. I'm going to invest in some sort
Speaker 2: of kind of form fitting.
Speaker 5: Out one's of some kind.
Speaker 4: Yeah, kind of a leotard just wandering around Goodwill.
Speaker 5: Yeah, perfect done.
Speaker 4: That's really smart. Okay, well that kind of solves my problem.
Speaker 1: It doesn't. It doesn't though, because like sometimes you really
Speaker 1: want to know what it looks like without the bunch
Speaker 1: of spand X underneath, like the gans or the pants
Speaker 1: or that.
Speaker 2: Also, I don't feel like they have mirrors. No, no,
Speaker 2: never a mirror, right, you have to.
Speaker 4: Find like a used mirror that you would be able
Speaker 4: to purchase there exactly. That reminds me of during the
Speaker 4: pandemic when all of the stores removed mirrors.
Speaker 2: Do you remember this? No? Why what so?
Speaker 5: I I remember that?
Speaker 2: Why would they do that?
Speaker 4: I think they took them out to keep people from dawdling,
Speaker 4: you know, they didn't want people, you know, close in.
Speaker 2: Front of the mirror.
Speaker 5: Yeah, people were doing that too much.
Speaker 2: Just admiring themselves in mirrors at the tarket.
Speaker 1: What the most humiliating thing is when you're like in
Speaker 1: a coffee shop and you know that the window is
Speaker 1: very reflective and you see people walking by and checking
Speaker 1: themselves out. Oh, it's absolutely devastating because it's like it's people.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't you know, literally every person, every person, they've
Speaker 2: got to take a peek.
Speaker 1: They can't not.
Speaker 5: And I do it too, And I'm like, oh god,
Speaker 5: the people inside saw me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure we all do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do.
Speaker 4: It was probably one of the very early behaviors of
Speaker 4: you know, early human civilization, looking in mirrors and admiring. Right,
Speaker 4: that was one of our first that's doesn't have to
Speaker 4: survive and evolve.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what separates us from the rest of the
Speaker 1: animal condemn our vanity. I mean, I feel like, I look.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because you can't tell what you fully look like. Ever,
Speaker 1: no matter how much you look in the mirror, the
Speaker 1: photos you have of yourself.
Speaker 2: The lighting is always different.
Speaker 1: Especially as you get older.
Speaker 2: What what does happen to any of us? Then the
Speaker 2: mirrors are always different.
Speaker 4: Somebody bashed out the windows of my favorite coffee shop
Speaker 4: and found coffee. No, maybe they were mad about seeing themselves.
Speaker 2: In the They freaked out.
Speaker 5: They're like, this can't be right.
Speaker 2: I'll take care of this.
Speaker 5: I'll smash this to smithereens.
Speaker 2: Where are you going to coffee in Los Angeles?
Speaker 1: Okay, well, so we live pretty close to all time
Speaker 1: on Hillhurst.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, and unfortunately we are there all the time.
Speaker 2: It's a good place. It's far too much money, way
Speaker 2: too much money. I don't know what they're thinking.
Speaker 1: Like somebody said, and I stand by this, they were like,
Speaker 1: how do we get that breakfast burrito over twenty dollars?
Speaker 5: Because I think at this point it might be over
Speaker 5: twenty dollars.
Speaker 2: I think it is.
Speaker 5: I mean, that's outrageous.
Speaker 2: The whole place feels like a social experiment. To me.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 4: I mean when I order a cold brew there, I'm
Speaker 4: served three ounces of liquid and I think this is
Speaker 4: like performance art.
Speaker 5: Or something like thirty five dollars.
Speaker 2: Yes, but it is good. I'll give that too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is good, but it's very good. But it's
Speaker 1: it's insane. Yeah, and it's also very seamy.
Speaker 4: It's extreme. I mean the scene is over the top.
Speaker 4: I will say I saw Oscar Isaac there. Wow, that
Speaker 4: was exciting.
Speaker 5: That's big. That's a big one.
Speaker 4: Or a man who looked like Oscar Isaac. It's always
Speaker 4: hard to.
Speaker 5: Say, can say you never know an als.
Speaker 4: I never know in Los Angeles. My rule is just
Speaker 4: assume it was the person.
Speaker 2: Why not.
Speaker 1: No, that's a good call.
Speaker 2: Give yourself that win.
Speaker 1: You deserve it. You deserve to see that person. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like I've seen some of the most famous
Speaker 1: people I've seen in LA there, But like.
Speaker 2: Can you name any.
Speaker 1: I think I saw? Well, now I'm getting confused because
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this restaurant I worked out where I
Speaker 1: did see maybe more like I served Margot Robbie want
Speaker 1: that's exciting. I served Pharrell?
Speaker 2: Oh wow, these are big stars.
Speaker 5: Yeah they are. And the place was terrible.
Speaker 2: Well, can you say what place it was?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: The food is good, but there was a lot. I'm
Speaker 1: actually this is very cathartic. I get to talk about
Speaker 1: this on the podcast now. I have for years been like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to bash the place. There are a
Speaker 1: lot of people I like who still work there. But
Speaker 1: it's been long enough that I'm like, Jesus, I can
Speaker 1: say whatever I want.
Speaker 2: Now you're absolutely free.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people found One time I served a salad to
Speaker 1: someone and they found a screw in it.
Speaker 2: How does a screw get into a cell?
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I was like, I need to figure
Speaker 1: this out because that's insane. So I went back to
Speaker 1: all these the chefs. I was like, what, how in
Speaker 1: the world did this happen? And we figured out that
Speaker 1: it was because it was like there was a mandolin
Speaker 1: that they were it was like a shaved vegetable salad.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I forget that mandolin can also be cooking.
Speaker 1: They were.
Speaker 5: No, they were all playing instruments. Did you think it
Speaker 5: was like the.
Speaker 2: Racket in the kitchen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like about a nine piece band back there.
Speaker 1: No that they So the reason that the screw came
Speaker 1: off was because it fell off the mandolin into the salad.
Speaker 1: And then I went back to the table and I
Speaker 1: was like, you guys, I figured it out. The screw
Speaker 1: was from the mandolin. Like it's all good.
Speaker 2: Were they furious?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was expecting them to be like, oh, yeah, all.
Speaker 5: Good, and of course they were like, no, they're horrified.
Speaker 4: I mean that is see if I had found the
Speaker 4: screw in my salad, I would have swallowed it on purpose.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The lawsuit, I mean, the endless possibilities.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it, like I'm so like Midwest
Speaker 1: and like like self deprecating. I would be like, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna eat it. I don't want to.
Speaker 5: I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I'll just I'll eat the screw'd we loved it?
Speaker 2: Wow, a screw I've never heard of that. I've heard
Speaker 2: of like.
Speaker 1: Bugs, yeah, oh yeah, that happened too often, like.
Speaker 2: A grasshopper or a cricket.
Speaker 1: Oh god. In this case, it was a fly.
Speaker 2: Fly that I'm thinking about. Okay, I don't like it,
Speaker 2: but a fly makes a little bit more sense.
Speaker 4: The grasshopper is like it got there at the farms.
Speaker 4: It's like I'm going to the big city.
Speaker 5: It's been there for a while.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's dreams of working at what's the salad place
Speaker 4: called Sweet Green. I'm going to go be a line
Speaker 4: chef at Sweet Grain. And then it dies in root
Speaker 4: and someone.
Speaker 1: Finds grasshopper had big dreams Megan Nan in Hollywood.
Speaker 2: And now Farrell's chewing on it.
Speaker 5: Honestly, that must be the dream for a grasshopper.
Speaker 2: To be eaten by Forrell. Yeah, that's my dream.
Speaker 5: Yeah, same, same, Yeah.
Speaker 2: All time does have a little bit of a scene,
Speaker 2: very very seeing.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think of celebrities that i've assumed I've
Speaker 4: seen in Los Angeles. I feel like I've assumed I've
Speaker 4: seen the Queen of England, Howard. But this is basically
Speaker 4: I've seen an old woman and someone with a perm
Speaker 4: that's uh. Those are like the two standouts for me.
Speaker 5: There's certainly, I mean that's really big.
Speaker 2: Two of the most famous people alive and dead. Rip.
Speaker 2: You saw the ghost right, she was in my bedroom
Speaker 2: last night.
Speaker 5: He must be dead too at this point.
Speaker 2: How he died, I mean now he's probably oh God,
Speaker 2: now he's going to die and.
Speaker 1: Cops.
Speaker 2: R I P. Howard.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just to cover our bases, r I P.
Speaker 1: Howard.
Speaker 4: Howard Sern is the one person alive that I feel
Speaker 4: like we can talk about in this way and he
Speaker 4: would be okay.
Speaker 1: I think, and Honor is not.
Speaker 2: Dead now, but if he is dead, we love it.
Speaker 1: We love it.
Speaker 4: There's no winning in this situation, so we just have
Speaker 4: to cover every single base possible.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think that's good, unless he like went out in
Speaker 2: a bad way, you know, in.
Speaker 1: Which case we are not affiliated with him.
Speaker 2: We do not that terrorists secret terror as Howard Stern.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think we covered it there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, as much as I'd like to talk about
Speaker 2: Howard Stern living or dying, or being a terrorist, or
Speaker 2: some other possibility. There's something else I'd like to talk
Speaker 2: to you about. Oh yeah, no, Look, I.
Speaker 4: Was really happy to have you here today. I was
Speaker 4: really excited to have Lily come.
Speaker 2: To the podcast.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was excited too.
Speaker 4: The rain kind of was soothing me. I'll say it
Speaker 4: was beginning to soothe me. That's it's a sound I
Speaker 4: can listen to in a soothing way now. And so
Speaker 4: I was a little surprised when here you come holding
Speaker 4: your umbrella.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh, and something else right the podcast is called I
Speaker 2: said no gifts.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I don't have to tell you that.
Speaker 1: I know. I and I remember I got the email
Speaker 1: and it said no gifts and everything. I just I
Speaker 1: really I couldn't help myself. I really could not help myself
Speaker 1: this time.
Speaker 2: How was that a defense in any way? I couldn't
Speaker 2: help myself.
Speaker 5: I just I really like adore.
Speaker 2: You, okay, okay, and turning around myself.
Speaker 1: I wanted I had to give you something. The universe
Speaker 1: compelled me.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a perfect excuse.
Speaker 1: Then, Oh good, that's all it took.
Speaker 2: Totally.
Speaker 4: I just need somebody to say something nice to me
Speaker 4: once in a while.
Speaker 1: You know what you need to do with compliments. You
Speaker 1: just ask for them. This is something I've learned. And
Speaker 1: I straight up will be like to my husband and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I need a compliment right now, or
Speaker 1: I need like three compliments.
Speaker 4: Oh that's good, So you give it. You just say compliment,
Speaker 4: and so it can be. Then when he gives it
Speaker 4: to you, it's his own thinking, yes.
Speaker 1: Exactly, but and it better be. But sometimes it'll be
Speaker 1: like your hair.
Speaker 5: Is brown and I'm like.
Speaker 2: No, no, state.
Speaker 1: Of fact exactly. That's doesn't work. That's doesn't work.
Speaker 4: I don't need you to state effect at make Yeah. Okay,
Speaker 4: Well we have this gift here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so if you want to open it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's in kind of a it's in like a
Speaker 4: canvas tote with cactuses cacti.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I think this was a gift to me.
Speaker 1: You're welcome to keep.
Speaker 2: I'm not keeping that.
Speaker 1: I feel like you want to. It's so I have.
Speaker 4: Enough tots in my life. I've got enough canvas bags.
Speaker 4: I'm not taking your beautiful no more.
Speaker 5: So my gift is I'm not going to give you this,
Speaker 5: but I.
Speaker 2: Am what is happening.
Speaker 5: I'm going to try your portrait.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is incredible. Lily has taken out
Speaker 2: a giant like pad pad of paper, but it's like
Speaker 2: leather bound.
Speaker 5: It's fancy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the biggest moleskin that was ever made.
Speaker 2: It's like a gag moleskin, like those clown sunglass version
Speaker 2: of a moleskin.
Speaker 5: I got it at a joke shop, an expensive one.
Speaker 2: It's a really classy gag store.
Speaker 1: Yeah it is. It's everything's a million dollars. You'd love it.
Speaker 1: It's next to All Time.
Speaker 2: They started to ext.
Speaker 4: All the Time is owned by two clowns, very expensive clowns.
Speaker 4: So everything is farm fresh.
Speaker 2: So you're gonna draw.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's one more catch what I'm gonna drive you.
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna look down at at what I'm
Speaker 1: drying because I feel like that would just it would
Speaker 1: be too.
Speaker 2: Vulnerable, to be extremely vulnerable for both of us, for
Speaker 2: both of us.
Speaker 4: It's a on Alise, would you mind doing a recording
Speaker 4: this as a video as well, just in case?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Please? Oh the mic there's a lot hand.
Speaker 4: So we'll set this up in some way over there.
Speaker 4: There will be some at least a clip of this happening.
Speaker 2: This is a huge project, and I don't want you to.
Speaker 4: Okay, I can't look. There would be a decent amount
Speaker 4: of bias there.
Speaker 5: And then do you want anything?
Speaker 1: You want anything?
Speaker 5: Fun?
Speaker 2: Oh, let's see, app I would love to be for
Speaker 2: me to be climbing a tree. Climbing a tree possible,
Speaker 2: I can put you in a tree. You can put
Speaker 2: in a tree. I'll settle for that.
Speaker 1: Climbing a tree. It sounds really hard.
Speaker 2: What level of art skill do you have?
Speaker 1: Okay, I am first, I'm gonna start drawing, so I'm
Speaker 1: now me talking is going to.
Speaker 2: Be completely I do want to explain to the listener
Speaker 2: right now, Lily is is very meaningful eye contact with
Speaker 2: me in a way that's it's disarming. Yeah, she's looking
Speaker 2: at me like, well, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because now I'm starting, I'm starting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't and she has to look at me
Speaker 4: and I have to look at her, and so we're
Speaker 4: both it's.
Speaker 5: Vulnerable looking at you though.
Speaker 2: I'm just also not looking at the art.
Speaker 1: And I think also you should know that tree is
Speaker 1: just going to be in the background at this one,
Speaker 1: because I think it's too big. Whenever I'm drying.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I can't. I can't look. I can't look.
Speaker 2: So you're drawing the tree right now?
Speaker 1: Well, now I'm doing your face first. You thought I
Speaker 1: was doing a tree.
Speaker 4: So from the glimpse that I got, I cannot wait
Speaker 4: to see how the sturns into my face.
Speaker 5: I gotta get your teeth now.
Speaker 4: Okay, she's looking at my teeth, she's I'm looking. I'm
Speaker 4: trying to give you my there. I'm trying to talk
Speaker 4: to you, but also remain still.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the leaves of the tree.
Speaker 2: And she's also only using one color, so this is
Speaker 2: going to be you know, I'm going back in doing
Speaker 2: the lines right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just doing the outline.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a So she's using a brown marker.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hit you with the orange now.
Speaker 2: Okay, I've got to get some orange in there. Thank you.
Speaker 2: I appreciate kind of being true to who I am
Speaker 2: and my hair color.
Speaker 1: I would be doing if I had like all the
Speaker 1: colors in the world, I would be doing, like you know,
Speaker 1: more browns and more.
Speaker 5: Ron in my hair too. Okay, just to really emphasize.
Speaker 2: Do you want me to take my shirt off? What's next?
Speaker 1: This is a good.
Speaker 4: I just see like from you know, just the corner
Speaker 4: of my icy blur is happening on the page.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna look really good. Also, you have
Speaker 1: very beautiful blue eyes. If you don't mind me saying.
Speaker 2: Keep bringing the cops.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: The eyes are happening.
Speaker 5: Now I'm doing your jacket like this similar.
Speaker 2: The jacket is kind of a bluish. So that's happening.
Speaker 1: That's good, and we're almost done. By the way, I
Speaker 1: don't landing.
Speaker 4: I feel like you're getting the jacket in the correct place,
Speaker 4: I hope. So yeah, what I can tell by not
Speaker 4: looking at.
Speaker 1: I want the viewer to know I haven't looked down.
Speaker 1: If people are not even a.
Speaker 4: Moment and I've kind of cheated, I've looked, I could
Speaker 4: at least kind of see it because I'm in a
Speaker 4: better position.
Speaker 1: I'm doing what your what your shirt says right now.
Speaker 2: Oh wonderful, it's like a five year old. This is
Speaker 2: going to be a perfect drawing.
Speaker 1: Okay, now it's some greenery the tree.
Speaker 2: There's some plants back here.
Speaker 1: Oh, I could get some pinks also with the.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I forgot that. I requested that. I'm climbing
Speaker 2: a tree.
Speaker 1: But you're not climbing long. It's literally I'm just drawing
Speaker 1: the background that you have behind you.
Speaker 2: And then there's only so much you can do.
Speaker 1: Give a little color to your face, just a little yellow.
Speaker 4: Okay, kind of a classic skin.
Speaker 2: Tone, and I think that about wraps it up. Okay,
Speaker 2: So are you ready? Are we ready for it to
Speaker 2: be presented? Okay, present it to the camera first, and
Speaker 2: then I'll see it. Oh wow, big reveal. It's okay,
Speaker 2: let me take it life. Oh my, this is actually
Speaker 2: way better than I expected. This is a beautiful piece
Speaker 2: of art.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: This is really I mean, but it could sell in
Speaker 2: New York for and it will.
Speaker 1: New York for one hundred.
Speaker 4: Mil fifty million dollars. If you want this piece of art,
Speaker 4: we must have one listener who's a billionaire.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Absolutely reach out, Nelly. If you're listening
Speaker 1: a billionaire, please, I'm gonna gonna give it to you.
Speaker 2: This is a stunning piece of art. What gave you
Speaker 2: this idea?
Speaker 1: Well, this is a very fun party game that I
Speaker 1: like to play. Where I mean, obviously, you have to
Speaker 1: have the right type of people that are all hanging
Speaker 1: out right but you kind of just like turn to
Speaker 1: the person to your right and you all have to
Speaker 1: draw that person and you can't look down and everybody's
Speaker 1: looks absolutely messed up.
Speaker 4: And these are such a great idea. Have you been
Speaker 4: doing this at parties forever or a yeah.
Speaker 1: Like for a very I mean on and off for
Speaker 1: my entire life. I feel like because I don't remember
Speaker 1: when it started, and it's sometimes it'll just come over
Speaker 1: me and I'll be like, you, guys, you know what
Speaker 1: we should do. Unfortunately, I think I sometimes have a
Speaker 1: little bit of that energy that's like, let's play a
Speaker 1: game and everyone's like no, And I don't like.
Speaker 5: That about myself, but sometimes it clicks in.
Speaker 4: But I feel like at a party, no one can
Speaker 4: have a complaint about that, and.
Speaker 1: I try to be very respectful. When it's like, well,
Speaker 1: clearly it's not the vibe, these aren't the people, then
Speaker 1: I'd like, okay, we're going to I'm not going to
Speaker 1: force anything.
Speaker 4: Right, right, And so when you bring this up at
Speaker 4: a party, you run into the other room and bring
Speaker 4: this notebook out.
Speaker 5: That's I'm depressing. No, I'm not a fucking dork.
Speaker 1: No, it would be like, oh, do you have any
Speaker 1: paper that pends. This is rare that I get to
Speaker 1: use this many colors.
Speaker 2: Right, I mean you used at least four colors here?
Speaker 3: Five?
Speaker 5: Well yeah, don't forget the yellow for this game.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I didn't even see that gorgeous yellow. What
Speaker 4: is the note book?
Speaker 2: Four? Is it for this?
Speaker 1: I do like to do art on occasion. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm like a I'd say, eighth grade level artists.
Speaker 2: Pretty impressive.
Speaker 1: I'm if I was in eighth grade ever, and I
Speaker 1: was doing what I can do, everyone be like, Wow,
Speaker 1: she's really gifted. Oh I love you need to like
Speaker 1: send her to Risdy or something.
Speaker 2: I love.
Speaker 4: In uh, elementary and middle school, you always have a
Speaker 4: friend who's pretty good at drawing.
Speaker 5: Pretty good, that's what I had.
Speaker 1: Pretty good, not great, Not like you see something I
Speaker 1: do and you're like, wow, well.
Speaker 2: I mean other than this, other than this, this piece
Speaker 2: of il art, this is one of the I mean,
Speaker 2: it's very interesting. You could. I'm going to I will
Speaker 2: have to frame up. You know, it would look good
Speaker 2: blown up, blown up.
Speaker 1: Go ahead and get in a.
Speaker 5: Blanket like we're talking.
Speaker 1: We're talking six.
Speaker 2: By ten on the side of a building.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, billboard billboards all over the city.
Speaker 4: I said, no guests, billionaire listener reach out. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 4: So you do occasionally do art?
Speaker 1: I do, And so I think my husband got this
Speaker 1: for me over the pandemic. This nice beautiful pad as
Speaker 1: like a gift to like, keep keep doing art kind
Speaker 1: of thing. And then, as you can say, I have
Speaker 1: not used it a single time, not once except for today.
Speaker 2: What kind of art do you usually do?
Speaker 1: I'm well, I do like I like all sorts of
Speaker 1: art projects, like I like a craft project kind of,
Speaker 1: but I also like to paint, okay, And I feel
Speaker 1: like I there's a lot of like energy in me,
Speaker 1: Like once I get going on working on something, I
Speaker 1: could be doing it for hours.
Speaker 2: Oh right.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't happened for me very often because I
Speaker 1: don't build it into my life. It would be very
Speaker 1: healthy for me too, and I probably should because right
Speaker 1: now I've got all my eggs in one basket with
Speaker 1: this whole comedy thing, and.
Speaker 2: We're all kind of feeding downhill and the industry is
Speaker 2: shutting the lights off. Yeah. Literally, we're all going to
Speaker 2: dental school soon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe this is my backup this.
Speaker 2: I mean, at least you've got a backup. What do
Speaker 2: you got nothing?
Speaker 5: No other skills?
Speaker 2: Uh? Die?
Speaker 5: What do you mean by that? Dying clothing or no physically.
Speaker 2: Die buried like Howard Stern.
Speaker 5: I could do that too.
Speaker 2: Everybody can die. Well. I went to school for it,
Speaker 2: so okay.
Speaker 4: So eighth grade, did you, like, were you in art
Speaker 4: class and you gave up at that point?
Speaker 1: I was no. I think I did art all through
Speaker 1: high school, but I just like never really like started
Speaker 1: to super excel at it enough. And the plus I
Speaker 1: like found theater and it was like I like it
Speaker 1: more right, But I think I always was like, oh,
Speaker 1: but you know, I'm like pretty good at that. And
Speaker 1: then then more recently I was like, actually, like I
Speaker 1: think in college I took a class and I was like,
Speaker 1: in comparison to everyone else, I was in the class
Speaker 1: of actually not that good at all, Like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? He was singing? I had? That was singing.
Speaker 4: I fortunately have never had the confidence to try singing
Speaker 4: around other people.
Speaker 1: I bet you have a beautiful voice.
Speaker 2: I certainly don't gid.
Speaker 1: You want to share a song.
Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I I in high school again
Speaker 1: because I grew up in tell your ride so it's
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five hundred people, so it really didn't like
Speaker 1: your small sense of self and confidence. You you think
Speaker 1: you are the biggest fish.
Speaker 2: Right, of course, everybody's the biggest fish of something.
Speaker 1: And tell your ride absolutely, I thought I was Monet
Speaker 1: mayonnee Plicassa. And then but with singing, similarly, I like
Speaker 1: sang in a choir. I was in an a cappella group,
Speaker 1: so embarrassing. And then I got to college and was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, you're actually really not that good. You can
Speaker 1: carry a tune.
Speaker 2: The people and tell your ride were very patient with you.
Speaker 5: They were they were very understanding and encouraging.
Speaker 2: The acapella group, What sort of songs were you singing?
Speaker 1: Oh god, it was a little bit like it wasn't
Speaker 1: very cheesy. It was more like folky, you sick weirdly
Speaker 1: enough because of this director that we had, but the
Speaker 1: I definitely had to sing a lot of like weird
Speaker 1: church songs.
Speaker 5: I'm not religious at all, uh huh, So I was.
Speaker 2: Like, I didn't bringing the church song.
Speaker 1: It was like the place where we would all sing
Speaker 1: was like usually in churches. So then they felt like
Speaker 1: they needed to have some religious songs. And then it
Speaker 1: would be a mix of like you know, some some folk.
Speaker 2: I don't know, have you done a cappella since?
Speaker 1: No? But should we start? I think we should we
Speaker 1: start a group?
Speaker 2: Boom boom.
Speaker 5: Yeah you start with that and I'll hit you with a.
Speaker 1: I feel like.
Speaker 2: That's the one. That's the one.
Speaker 4: I feel like there's like half a second when society
Speaker 4: was like Acapella is kind of okay, yes, But then
Speaker 4: as soon as that was over, people where we were
Speaker 4: like what what was happening?
Speaker 1: I mean, I see the clips of Glee online even
Speaker 1: that's like that's peak TV, Like, oh yeah, everyone was obsessed.
Speaker 1: It's the most embarrassing should have ever seen. Amazing.
Speaker 4: It's just even people in Acapella know we're doing something
Speaker 4: bad here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're all the ones where they have like everyone
Speaker 1: has an incredible voice. Clearly everyone is doing their absolute
Speaker 1: best of like what that can be? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is not for me. It's so cheesy. It makes
Speaker 1: me sick.
Speaker 4: Well, everyone in an a cappella choir, every single person
Speaker 4: is begging the universe to notice them and pull them out.
Speaker 4: That's not singer, and get me out of here, because
Speaker 4: no one really wants to be there exactly.
Speaker 2: Listen to this bird. It wants to be part of
Speaker 2: our acapella choir.
Speaker 1: Talk about main character. Energy's so embarrassing. This bird is absolutely.
Speaker 4: I think we do a three person acapella choir. It's you,
Speaker 4: me and a bird.
Speaker 5: I agree?
Speaker 1: Where do we?
Speaker 5: Where do we go?
Speaker 2: Where we? Where do we go? From? Here?
Speaker 1: Time?
Speaker 4: All time? Between all time and their new gag shop.
Speaker 4: There's this beautiful sound coming.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you were an acapella I didn't do in
Speaker 4: middle school. We got to choose between drawing or singing
Speaker 4: or singing or art and singing, and so I went
Speaker 4: the art route.
Speaker 5: So are you good?
Speaker 2: No, I'm good. I'm a very good doodler.
Speaker 1: But what are we doodling?
Speaker 2: What's the little cartoons and this sort of thing, little faces?
Speaker 2: But when I actually try, I'm like, okay, now it's
Speaker 2: time to get out a piece of paper and draw
Speaker 2: one thing. Yeah, it's like, oh, I don't have any
Speaker 2: control over this exactly, But the little cartoons.
Speaker 4: When I'm at work or whatever and we're just like
Speaker 4: at the table, I can draw decent little things, little witches,
Speaker 4: this kind of thing, witches, witches, whatever's on.
Speaker 1: The Halloween stuff I would say kind.
Speaker 4: Of seasonal, so you know, during the fall season, I'll
Speaker 4: be drawing a lot of witches or vampires. Oh, I
Speaker 4: love that, and then that'll shift, I haven't. You know,
Speaker 4: when was the last time I was in a physical workplace.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's been a while for me.
Speaker 5: Ten years are rare.
Speaker 2: Mine was I think the last was.
Speaker 4: Oh, there were like six weeks that I was in
Speaker 4: a workplace a couple of summers ago.
Speaker 2: But usually it's over zoom. So I'm not doodling on zoom.
Speaker 1: No you can't.
Speaker 2: I'm browsing the web, I'm online shopping.
Speaker 5: I'm looking at porn.
Speaker 1: I'm not watching very loud.
Speaker 2: No one on the zoom can hear anything.
Speaker 1: I'm just doing what you do on zoom. Come on, people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I'm similar in I doodle a lot
Speaker 1: I'll do. I think it's very like therapeutic, like you know, you're.
Speaker 2: You're releasing some like anxious energy. I think through your.
Speaker 1: Hands, absolutely and better than that, or like and like
Speaker 1: staring at your phone as much worse. Oh yeah, of course,
Speaker 1: so healthier too, doodle. But I yeah, I don't really
Speaker 1: find myself doing it unless I'm like on hold like, oh, I.
Speaker 4: Love being on hold and drawing, but that's less and less. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I remember with phone books you would you could
Speaker 4: be on hold and drawing.
Speaker 1: On those on the phone book. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh I love a phone book doodle because it's got
Speaker 4: that extra pressure.
Speaker 2: You can really push down on it.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, very satisfying paper.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, do they I wonder I feel like
Speaker 4: we've finally stopped making phone books.
Speaker 2: It must be right, it was, I mean up until
Speaker 2: about five years ago, I think they were still making
Speaker 2: them and dropping them on all of our porches, Like.
Speaker 1: Where do they even live?
Speaker 2: It was making?
Speaker 1: Because that's a good question.
Speaker 2: Who was the company that's the I guess Yellow Pages.
Speaker 5: I hope their family is doing okay.
Speaker 2: They are, They're in some desperate times.
Speaker 1: If you're listening, feel free to reach out.
Speaker 5: We are thinking of you.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I never really thought about the company behind it because
Speaker 2: it felt like such a public service.
Speaker 5: The last name is definitely Pages, right.
Speaker 2: Yes, it was certainly pages, mister yellow I mean yellow Page, Yes.
Speaker 1: Yellow Pages, it's a compound name.
Speaker 2: And then the white Pages family, White Pages.
Speaker 1: And then there was the same ring to it.
Speaker 4: It certainly doesn't. And then there was the combo phone book, Yes,
Speaker 4: it was both. Was the combo like a lesser version
Speaker 4: of each?
Speaker 1: Couldn't tell you? I don't. I don't think I really even.
Speaker 1: The other thing is because tell your ide growing up,
Speaker 1: they're so small and every phone books, no phone books,
Speaker 1: no need.
Speaker 2: Oh an, what an eerie fact about.
Speaker 1: Everybody only knew the last four digits of you just
Speaker 1: need to know the last four digits of the phone number.
Speaker 1: So I would be like, I'm O seven to one
Speaker 1: to three, right, and then everyone know it was nice
Speaker 1: seven oh seven, two.
Speaker 2: Eights oh right? Right?
Speaker 1: The prefix you don't need all those other numbers, of
Speaker 1: course not no are code No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like there was a period of time
Speaker 2: when you didn't need an area code.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well maybe a two five four that was my prefix? Yeah,
Speaker 2: which is also Highland Park. Is it very full circle?
Speaker 5: Whoa, that's why you didn't need to change your phone
Speaker 5: number at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just kept my mom's phone number, my mom's landlord.
Speaker 1: Perfect.
Speaker 2: Wait, where in Utah did you grab South Jordan?
Speaker 1: Utah?
Speaker 4: That's a two five to four And then I think
Speaker 4: there they added another prefix at some point, but I
Speaker 4: can't remember. Maybe a two five five or wonder what
Speaker 4: that would be. But I remember that being like, oh,
Speaker 4: things are happening in this town. Yep, we've got a
Speaker 4: we've got two prefixes to remember.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's really expanding big time. You Also, similarly,
Speaker 1: in Chicago, your area code is very telling. I was
Speaker 1: always seven seven three, but then when I started working
Speaker 1: at this one company, I had to get a three
Speaker 1: one two number, and I was like, ew oh, I
Speaker 1: don't I'm not a three one two gal.
Speaker 4: Now area codes mean nothing. Yeah, I mean everyone in
Speaker 4: LA has a different area.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know what anyone's phone number is. Oh,
Speaker 1: so there's like one second where they put their phone
Speaker 1: number in my phone and then I never look at
Speaker 1: it again.
Speaker 2: Do you know Tim's your husband's Well, this is.
Speaker 1: I think I finally committed it to memory, like last year.
Speaker 1: We've been down for like seven years. Same with his birthday.
Speaker 1: Weirdly enough, twov So he's like, do you know when
Speaker 1: it is? I'm like, yeah, I know, I know, and
Speaker 1: then I always like check my mind to like triple
Speaker 1: check that I've got it right. Hard numbers are hard.
Speaker 2: Um.
Speaker 4: Basically, the only reason I memorized my boyfriend's was I
Speaker 4: needed it for the Ralph's uh card at the grocery store.
Speaker 2: To get your discounts or I guess movie.
Speaker 4: Vallons or pavilions or something. Yeah, I thought I started
Speaker 4: saying it's because I love you. Initially it was the
Speaker 4: grocery discount.
Speaker 1: Does it actually like really work those? Like I always
Speaker 1: feel like the phone number thing at the grocery stores like.
Speaker 2: Bullshit, like, oh it worked?
Speaker 1: It does?
Speaker 2: I mean? I have no evidence.
Speaker 1: I'm always like, yeah, they entered my wonder just like
Speaker 1: track me and I'm coming back to like get my
Speaker 1: protein waffles.
Speaker 2: Protein waffles.
Speaker 5: Yeah, my friend turned me on to them.
Speaker 2: Ww does that work?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: It's probably make believe.
Speaker 1: Is it like an egg It's like an eggo, but
Speaker 1: it's like, actually it's made.
Speaker 2: In Utah, it's made in the kind that I've been getting. Okay,
Speaker 2: tell me more about this.
Speaker 1: I think it's called Kodiac.
Speaker 2: Kodiac.
Speaker 1: This is I mean, this is me trying to convince
Speaker 1: myself something's healthy when it's absolutely not healthy. But it's
Speaker 1: like a whole wheat, right protein quote unquote, it's frozen,
Speaker 1: it's frozen.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I've been eating them lately like a little.
Speaker 2: I might get some little rabbit. What do you put
Speaker 2: on them? You know?
Speaker 1: Sometimes that I'll do like an almond butter if I'm
Speaker 1: trying to be like, you know, go get them right.
Speaker 1: And then other days when I'm like, you know, it's
Speaker 1: kind of a lax day, I put some syrup on there.
Speaker 2: Oh, delicious, little bit.
Speaker 4: I would love to get some protein waffles I have.
Speaker 4: I haven't had like a toaster waffle in years. It's great,
Speaker 4: you put it in your toast. Oh yeah, this sounds incredible.
Speaker 1: Some of them are a little too thick, though, I
Speaker 1: gotta tell you.
Speaker 2: You get the same brand. They're not consistent.
Speaker 1: They have different they each each type you're getting, it's
Speaker 1: consistent in the box.
Speaker 2: Don't different protein waffles? Is this company too many?
Speaker 1: And the kind I like cells.
Speaker 2: Out like, what are the other types?
Speaker 1: Well, they've got a blueberry kind shape, but then they
Speaker 1: also have different levels of thickness, so they have like
Speaker 1: a really fat kind, and then they have like one
Speaker 1: that looks more like an ego.
Speaker 4: If they went on Shark Tank, the sharks would be like,
Speaker 4: you've got too many skews.
Speaker 2: I agree, you're going to fail. You need one.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised you don't know about them.
Speaker 5: It's Utah Company.
Speaker 2: I think it's not a Kodiak. I feel like Kodiak
Speaker 2: is such a weird word.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: There's like a Kodiak bear, isn't there?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: There is. I feel like they make like a pancake
Speaker 2: mix and stuff. I remember it is that yeah company?
Speaker 2: There are they?
Speaker 5: Are they good? Are they healthy?
Speaker 2: Kodiak? I'm going to say they're a good company.
Speaker 1: Okay, they're probably owned by some like massive conglomerates.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, whatever's the devil. It's the devil owns the company.
Speaker 1: But you know what I was going to say, speaking
Speaker 1: of Utah. My favorite place in Utah Colorado City.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean Colorado City, Colorado City, I mean,
Speaker 2: why tell me what.
Speaker 1: Well, so we have family who lives in Hurricane.
Speaker 2: Oh, I haven't even heard of this.
Speaker 1: Well it's I mean it's spelled hurricane, but apparently everyone
Speaker 1: says hurricane.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: I feel like such a phony because I would say hurricane.
Speaker 1: Well, that makes me feel better because I think I
Speaker 1: said it on one other podcast since people were like,
Speaker 1: it's actually hurricane and I was like, yeah, I know
Speaker 1: that's how my family said it.
Speaker 4: But that's it' that's a hard thing to say, knowing
Speaker 4: how to when you know how to say hurricane hurricane,
Speaker 4: hurricane hurricane Okay, so you have Okay.
Speaker 1: So anyway, that's like probably twenty minutes from Colorado City,
Speaker 1: like really not that far right, all near like Zion
Speaker 1: National Park. Yes, So when we would drive sometimes from
Speaker 1: LA we would go and we'd stay in Hurricane okay,
Speaker 1: and then we drive past Colorado City on the way
Speaker 1: to Colorado. Oh boy, and I I mean I would
Speaker 1: always ask my this is my stepdad's family, like all
Speaker 1: about the fundamentalists Mormon. It's like one of the biggest
Speaker 1: minimalist Mormon communities that.
Speaker 2: Exists, right.
Speaker 4: I think it's yf Z is the name of the
Speaker 4: I think it's like Yearning for Zion or something.
Speaker 2: Wow, the name of it.
Speaker 1: Well, it's fascinating because it looks like a ghost town.
Speaker 2: Right because they don't they their buildings.
Speaker 1: The tax break. Yeah, they don't finish the buildings and
Speaker 1: they get the tax break, and so all the buildings
Speaker 1: are like boarded up, uh huh. And then that's where
Speaker 1: all the women and children are I think are inside,
Speaker 1: and then you can only see men kind of if
Speaker 1: you see anyone at all. You see men, And I've
Speaker 1: heard from my stepdad and his dad that they've at
Speaker 1: times like driven through to go up like a hike
Speaker 1: up there, and.
Speaker 2: They get followed by like black suburbans. Yeah, well we're
Speaker 2: probably rickety old truckucks.
Speaker 1: That's where. That's more than vibe.
Speaker 2: I want to go there.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's it truly is like one of the
Speaker 4: darkest places you can imagine. I just picture resident Evil
Speaker 4: or something.
Speaker 1: It has a real vibe.
Speaker 2: But you've been through it or pasted it.
Speaker 1: Well, I made I made my husband stop because I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this is it.
Speaker 2: I want to join. Yeah, let me off here.
Speaker 1: Get me out the big city New York. But I
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, like I just wanted to drive
Speaker 1: around it because I read Under the Banner of Heaven
Speaker 1: and they talk a lot about uh about Colorado City
Speaker 1: and that and then yeah, I mean I was just
Speaker 1: looking for people or like any signs of life, and
Speaker 1: there's none. Even though they're all in.
Speaker 2: There, you saw no people whatsoever. No people. That is wild.
Speaker 1: But now every time we drive by, of course I'm
Speaker 1: like fully like erect looking out the window.
Speaker 2: Like absolutely no Harny is Wow.
Speaker 4: I would really love to visit that at some point, Yeah,
Speaker 4: because I mean it is the worst of the polygamist cults.
Speaker 4: The leader is now in prison, Yeah, Warren.
Speaker 2: Jeff's oh you know his name and everything.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, terrible person, kind of a Voldemort type. He
Speaker 4: was caught in I think Las Vegas or something years ago.
Speaker 4: He was like in the FBI top ten or something.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, top head, top ten.
Speaker 4: He made it good for hid ten under ten. No
Speaker 4: he got He's now like running the thing from prison.
Speaker 4: I think then I have a story to tell you
Speaker 4: about all of this. I may have told this on
Speaker 4: this podcast before, But in college I had a math
Speaker 4: professor named Teresa. It was a little I mean, she
Speaker 4: was a good professor, but.
Speaker 2: Like there was something off, okay, not quite right with Teresa,
Speaker 2: you can tell. And she would occasionally like talk about
Speaker 2: or mention her personal life in waysury like that doesn't
Speaker 2: sound like a normal person's personal life. That's living situation,
Speaker 2: doesn't quite click. Things weird, But a great math professor
Speaker 2: for my very low level math class. I moved on.
Speaker 4: I moved to LA and I started watching this documentary
Speaker 4: series called Polygamy USA. Which is about a polygamoist group
Speaker 4: that is a splinter from the one we're currently talking about.
Speaker 4: This one is not as illegal. There's not as many
Speaker 4: dark things happening in this one. Okay, it's just people
Speaker 4: getting married to a lot of women and being kind
Speaker 4: of weird.
Speaker 1: They're not marrying like like their wives.
Speaker 2: There were like no children, none of that horrible stuff
Speaker 2: as far as I can tell, just polygamy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was just kind of strange people. But I
Speaker 4: was watching it, loving it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want to watch it.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 4: It was like one thirty in the morning one night,
Speaker 4: and suddenly Teresa is being interviewed. My math professor is
Speaker 4: part of this group of people. No spoken. I think
Speaker 4: she might be kind of an advocate for whatever that is.
Speaker 4: And no polygamous listeners. My apologies.
Speaker 5: I know there are a lot of you.
Speaker 4: There's so many of them, oh my god. And so
Speaker 4: of course I was suddenly taking screenshots.
Speaker 1: Galore all your high school friends.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean everyone needed to know. But of course
Speaker 4: it mattered nothing to anyone.
Speaker 1: Because that come on, No, if they didn't give you
Speaker 1: a reaction, I'm going to kill them. People.
Speaker 2: People have been excited. I hope they were for my sake.
Speaker 4: I think so, but I'm sure most people were like,
Speaker 4: why are you just posting pictures of this very plain woman.
Speaker 4: I'll have to post some pictures of her soon.
Speaker 5: I mean that's fascinating, though.
Speaker 1: Did she have did she dress the way that they
Speaker 1: dressed with, like the long floral addresses.
Speaker 4: Right when she was teaching, so many braids, all the
Speaker 4: braids and the waves the hair.
Speaker 1: The huge bangs and the braids.
Speaker 2: They look great. They've got they've committed to a look.
Speaker 1: I mean, at this point, I bet you i'd see
Speaker 1: some girl in Brooklyn wearing and looking.
Speaker 4: Guaranteed if you the polygamist look, if you were walking
Speaker 4: around Highland Park, people would be into it.
Speaker 5: They would be like, wow, she is so she's a billionaire.
Speaker 4: Really, when she taught, she would just wear long skirts
Speaker 4: and you know, kind of just not the script clothes,
Speaker 4: but not like the prairie dress.
Speaker 2: Okay, she should have because I'm very popular.
Speaker 1: I mean I would have eaten it up when I go.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, when I go to Hurricane, and listen
Speaker 1: to me, I'm saying it right, Hurricane, we can go
Speaker 1: to the grocery store and if we see any like
Speaker 1: polygamists there. I am like watching them like a hawk. Also,
Speaker 1: I should say too, my family is descended from Mormons.
Speaker 2: From Salt Lake Say, oh you're kidding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like my whole my mom on my mom's side,
Speaker 1: both my grandmother and my grandfather were like broke away
Speaker 1: from the Mormon Church.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, So what like what year did they break
Speaker 2: away from it?
Speaker 1: I mean probably in like the God, I don't know,
Speaker 1: the fifties.
Speaker 2: Fifties what made them leave.
Speaker 1: I think they just moved away and then they kind
Speaker 1: of faded away from it all. But and they were
Speaker 1: like well educated, right, but then I think the Uh,
Speaker 1: it's fascinating because we'll like look back at all the
Speaker 1: family history and I remember reading like that, like you know,
Speaker 1: one of my distant relatives was like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I asked my dad why he didn't have other wives,
Speaker 1: and he was like, because I'm not a good enough man.
Speaker 1: But really it was just because I don't think they
Speaker 1: could afford it.
Speaker 2: Oh interest, Yeah.
Speaker 4: That's a practical reason not to have multiple wives. Hundreds
Speaker 4: of children.
Speaker 1: Yeah, too expensive? All the wives they want the diamond rings,
Speaker 1: you want to go shop becrs.
Speaker 2: And the nights out.
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, I would like when we had polygamists around
Speaker 4: town when I was growing up. Yeah, you would go
Speaker 4: to Walmart or whatever, and they'd be like barefoot kids,
Speaker 4: like the women in the prairie dresses. Rarely would you
Speaker 4: see the men. Yes, they must have been at home.
Speaker 4: They getting married to other women or something.
Speaker 5: They're taking care of their other wives and kids.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: We had at least one polygamist in my high school
Speaker 4: Esther the Polygamist.
Speaker 1: Oh so she really incorporated into her name.
Speaker 2: Please call me Esther the Polygamist.
Speaker 1: This was when you were in school, So she was
Speaker 1: she was like in high school. Yeah, so she was
Speaker 1: already married.
Speaker 2: She was not married, Okay, that makes me feel better far,
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah.
Speaker 1: Unless maybe she was in the eyes of the Mormon Church.
Speaker 1: Because that's the other thing that I learned, which I'm
Speaker 1: sure you already know that a lot of the wives,
Speaker 1: like obviously the guy will get married to one woman
Speaker 1: and it'll be recognized in the eyes of like the
Speaker 1: state of the of Utah. Right, But then the rest
Speaker 1: of the marriages are through the Mormon Church.
Speaker 2: Well not the official Mormon church, right, so what.
Speaker 1: Group? And then those those wives usually go on welfare,
Speaker 1: so they because they can register as single parents.
Speaker 2: You should be teaching seminars.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Between the buildings and.
Speaker 2: That, how does scam the US government?
Speaker 1: I mean I should be doing something Siller. Wow, if
Speaker 1: comedy doesn't work over me and art doesn't work out
Speaker 1: for me, do.
Speaker 2: You watch.
Speaker 4: I don't know that that polygamous marriage has fallen apart
Speaker 4: on TV. The guy is now just in a monogamous
Speaker 4: relationship again. All of his wives divorced him, although I think, yeah,
Speaker 4: he was only legally married to one of them. I
Speaker 4: don't know which one that was. I think was the
Speaker 4: first one who's now left him. Yeah, so he's now
Speaker 4: I'm not quite sure where he is with Robin the
Speaker 4: final wife. Wow, she's going to divorce him to I mean, yeah,
Speaker 4: they're all getting out of that.
Speaker 5: It clearly it runs in the family.
Speaker 4: I mean that show, if you it's about twenty, it's
Speaker 4: literally twenty seasons twenty, but you can hop in at nineteen.
Speaker 1: Oh that makes me feel about air.
Speaker 4: And nineteen is when the action begins because COVID hits
Speaker 4: and they're suddenly filming themselves and he's going out of
Speaker 4: his mind. No, And it's very interesting delicious.
Speaker 1: I do feel like reality TV in the last year
Speaker 1: or two because of COVID, has become exponentially more insane.
Speaker 1: Like shit is hitting the fan in a way.
Speaker 5: That it hasn't previously.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like between Real Housewives Salt Lake City and
Speaker 1: like the stuff with vander Pump Rules and all that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, and then like Kyle on Beverly Hills Real Housewives,
Speaker 1: there's a lot going on.
Speaker 2: People are just breaking. They are absolutely a fully broken.
Speaker 2: Do you watch SLC Housewives? I do, Okay, did you?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 1: It was so good.
Speaker 2: I cannot believe that Monica's not coming back.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe it.
Speaker 2: She was so compelling, I mean easy to watch the show.
Speaker 1: She saved the show.
Speaker 2: She brought such a mess.
Speaker 1: Such a delicious mess.
Speaker 4: My guess is that she must have truly been a
Speaker 4: nightmare to work with, like for the producers, because there's
Speaker 4: no way you would get rid of her otherwise.
Speaker 1: Right. Well, Also, I was just assuming that the producers
Speaker 1: were in on the thing the whole time.
Speaker 2: They knew they know them, or they're horrible at their jobs.
Speaker 1: They knew it, they knew what they were. I think
Speaker 1: it's more that she's like maybe crashed and burned after
Speaker 1: the fact and burned bridges after the facts in a
Speaker 1: maybe in desperation.
Speaker 4: Yes, I mean because we've heard, you know, her talking
Speaker 4: and scheming with her mom, right who.
Speaker 2: Own show?
Speaker 1: That was so disturbing. I was like, whoa, this is
Speaker 1: what an abusive mom looks like.
Speaker 4: Oh, she's a wild person. I mean when she had
Speaker 4: to walk home instead of drive herself. So that lady
Speaker 4: deserves her own network.
Speaker 2: She really did shows that out of her mind. I mean, fully,
Speaker 2: let's do the Linda and Monica.
Speaker 1: Show I'd watched.
Speaker 5: I tune in.
Speaker 1: I know I'm part of the problem. I tune into that.
Speaker 2: I love being part of the problem.
Speaker 1: I didn't start watching reality TV until the pandemic, and
Speaker 1: then I became an addict.
Speaker 2: That's kind of how my journey is really similar. Started
Speaker 2: with Ninety Day Fiance. Oh, I've never watched it, watched
Speaker 2: a lot of I don't.
Speaker 4: Watch it anymore because I think I really oh deed Okay,
Speaker 4: but that was my kind of entry point.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you need one show to get you hucked.
Speaker 2: What was yours?
Speaker 1: Well? I had some friends really pushing me to start
Speaker 1: Real Housewives, and I started New York and I started
Speaker 1: from the beginning, which was crazy wow, but it was
Speaker 1: such a time warp, and it's like right when reality
Speaker 1: TV's starting that it's kind of fascinating because like people
Speaker 1: are saying things and doing things that they just don't
Speaker 1: do on TV anymore, because like everyone knows that they're
Speaker 1: on a TV show now and they know the consequences
Speaker 1: of being on one. So I started and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is crazy, and I kind of would just have
Speaker 1: it on the background, have it on the background, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I'm nine seasons in and then
Speaker 1: like some crazy shit starts actually happening because they've been
Speaker 1: on TV so long, like Luanne Dala SEPs gets cheated
Speaker 1: on and I was like screaming, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is like absolutely worth a long haul. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so then I became I mean then I was like,
Speaker 1: I got to get into the other franchises.
Speaker 2: So have you watched all of the franchises?
Speaker 1: Now? Not all of them. I haven't really watched a
Speaker 1: ton of like Miami.
Speaker 5: I started New Jersey relatively recently.
Speaker 2: That's some big hit New Jerseys people love that.
Speaker 4: I need to get into one more because I only
Speaker 4: have Salt Lake and then I have to wait a
Speaker 4: full year.
Speaker 1: Man. I see the thing is the other one s
Speaker 1: a great place to start because there's only like, what
Speaker 1: four seasons, So I'm always like, that's a beautiful place
Speaker 1: for if someone want an entry point into real housewives,
Speaker 1: listen to me right now.
Speaker 5: You start with Salt.
Speaker 4: Lake City and maybe skip season three. Yeah, no need,
Speaker 4: Maybe watch the first episode in the last.
Speaker 1: Of season three unless you want a real window into
Speaker 1: who Gentshaw is true.
Speaker 5: And you've got to see the black Eye.
Speaker 2: Oh the black Eye. Oh god, black Eye. Give me
Speaker 2: a break.
Speaker 1: With the black Just say who gave me the eyes?
Speaker 4: The fact that she held that secret that long? What
Speaker 4: a disappointment?
Speaker 1: Well to me, that speaks to like she's she's such
Speaker 1: a like Heather is a strong person, it seems. And
Speaker 1: then in other ways, I'm like, wow, what is going on?
Speaker 1: Why are you like, I don't know if.
Speaker 2: That's there's like a need to be popular or something. Yes,
Speaker 2: well going on there. I have been to beauty lab.
Speaker 2: You have multiple times to do what get my picture taken?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I have not given.
Speaker 2: Them any money. No botox, no, no, that'll be my
Speaker 2: next move.
Speaker 4: I'm going to get blasted. I was in Utah last week.
Speaker 4: I should have gone to their new location.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what.
Speaker 2: A waste of time. That was all I did was
Speaker 2: see family. No waste of time are you doing?
Speaker 5: You could have been at with the Sun Dance Queen.
Speaker 4: Okay, well, I think we should play a game on
Speaker 4: a leasis today. What do you think, gift Master?
Speaker 2: Okay? I needed a number between one and ten from you.
Speaker 4: Oh three, Okay, I have to do some light calculating,
Speaker 4: so right now, you can recommend, promote, do whatever you want.
Speaker 2: I'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, what to recommend and promote? Is this
Speaker 1: my own stuff or is this like just general like either.
Speaker 2: I think you should promote something of your own and
Speaker 2: then maybe recommend.
Speaker 1: Recommend something else. Okay, I will promote. I have two
Speaker 1: podcasts on Comedy Bang Bang World Patreon. One is called
Speaker 1: This Book Changed My Life and the other one is
Speaker 1: called Hey Randy. And then I have a solo show
Speaker 1: at the Allegiant Theater that I've been doing on and off,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure there'll be more dates coming. So it's
Speaker 1: called quit while I'm behind and you can follow me
Speaker 1: at my social media handle. Is such a nightmare at
Speaker 1: l I L Y Y I L y just search
Speaker 1: Lily Sullivan and I'm the last famous one that pops up.
Speaker 1: And then oh and in terms of recommend oh god,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm gonna recommend the protein waffles. And then
Speaker 1: what else?
Speaker 5: What else?
Speaker 4: The Kodiak Company's got to send us some waffles they got.
Speaker 4: If they don't send us a bunch of free things,
Speaker 4: I'm going to.
Speaker 2: Wig it now.
Speaker 1: And if I find out that you got the free
Speaker 1: stuff and you didn't share, if I get.
Speaker 4: A bunch of free waffles, I'm going to load them
Speaker 4: up and back them into your house.
Speaker 5: Also, I would recommend going to Colorado City.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we should all go to Colorado City at some
Speaker 4: point to be kind of chased by polygamus.
Speaker 5: Yeah, especially if you're a man. I think you get chased.
Speaker 1: Out of town.
Speaker 2: Oh, that makes perfect sense because they're threatened competition.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and only so many younger men are allout in town.
Speaker 2: I feel there's a whole thing about that they kick
Speaker 2: young men out.
Speaker 1: They do know. And then this is another thing, Uh,
Speaker 1: oh is that fun?
Speaker 4: That's the alarm, that's a polygamists alarms.
Speaker 1: A little bit too much about them. But then I
Speaker 1: was hearing from my extended family that that the polygamists
Speaker 1: are very good at least from that from Colorado City
Speaker 1: at doing tile. So tile they're known to do, like
Speaker 1: good tile in that area.
Speaker 2: Wow, get a new new bath Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then she was saying that they while they're doing
Speaker 1: the tile, like if they because she had them come
Speaker 1: that they all started watching the TV.
Speaker 5: Because they can't watch TV.
Speaker 2: That is eerie.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I was like, wow.
Speaker 2: They're all kind of just slowly turning towards the TV.
Speaker 5: Towards the TV.
Speaker 2: Wow, actually the tile. I'm gonna have them redo both
Speaker 2: of my bathrooms.
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, while you're while your beauty.
Speaker 4: Lab, I'm gonna pass through the beauty lab, drive to
Speaker 4: Colorado City, pick up some polygamists men, bring them back here.
Speaker 1: I love this and then love them.
Speaker 2: Watching an episode of TV.
Speaker 1: Protein Waffles, watch it on the big screen.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is how we play gift Master. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: name three celebrities and three gifts, three things you can
Speaker 4: give away, and you're gonna tell me which celebrity you
Speaker 4: would give which gift and why.
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, I hope I know all the celebrities, and.
Speaker 2: I hope you do too. I'm okay, this is the
Speaker 2: first one. I hope.
Speaker 4: I don't think I've ever said his name aloud. Barry Keegan?
Speaker 4: Is that the guy's name the news?
Speaker 5: That's the guy from the who drinks the bathwater?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: God, Barry Keegan, Jose Conseco, famous baseball player, and Maroon five.
Speaker 2: The band all five of them. Oh, isn't five people
Speaker 2: in the band.
Speaker 5: There's got to be right, otherwise I'd be like you idiots.
Speaker 2: I'm wonder and I'm very curious. It's just one guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's only what's his name?
Speaker 2: At uh, divine divine Levine, Adam Levie, Adam Levi, Adam Levine,
Speaker 2: Adam Levine.
Speaker 4: Yes, there must be five on Elise, What do you
Speaker 4: think there are forty members of this a cappella?
Speaker 6: That's like a history of things. I guess it's like
Speaker 6: recently there was they were a seven piece band.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know.
Speaker 6: I'm looking trying to get to the origin. No, but
Speaker 6: clearly they haven't five.
Speaker 5: Five no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: If you have two other band members, they need to
Speaker 1: be off stage. Just show me five.
Speaker 4: Those two should be behind a curtain. Get them out
Speaker 4: of the band.
Speaker 5: How dare they?
Speaker 4: Okay, So those are the three celebrities, Berry Keikan, Jose
Speaker 4: Canseco Marine five uh. And these are the three gifts.
Speaker 4: Number one a badass sword, number two a swimmer's torso,
Speaker 4: and number three a blood thirsty fan base. Whoa, those
Speaker 4: are all great gifts.
Speaker 1: Okay, geez, A sword, a bloodthirsty fan base, and.
Speaker 2: A what swimmers torso?
Speaker 1: Okay? I think Berry Berry Berry Berry is gonna get
Speaker 1: the torso. And I'm gonna tell you why. He's got
Speaker 1: to drink some bath water off that torso, like all
Speaker 1: a body shot, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So you're giving him like someone's torso has been chopped
Speaker 2: up and if it's like dropped on his porch. So
Speaker 2: he's not going to have the torso. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: this is gonna have a cadaver.
Speaker 1: It's like you know when you do like ice sluge,
Speaker 1: it's like a party party torso. You said it up
Speaker 1: and you drink bathwater off. People are gonna be obsessed.
Speaker 4: That's gonna be the new like Instagram party thing that
Speaker 4: everyone has. It's like the three D camera. Now people
Speaker 4: will be drinking off of a chopped up torso.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm pretty sure that they all have. All of
Speaker 1: these people that you've listed have they're in shape, they
Speaker 1: have nice enough bodies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, these are there. I assume I would think we
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, has four hundred members of it's probably all
Speaker 4: different shapes and sizes.
Speaker 1: Okay, So then jose Canseco, I'm going.
Speaker 5: To give him a sword.
Speaker 2: Oh interest jumped the balls in half. He gives me
Speaker 2: kind of an aggressive vibe.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I feel like he's on Twitter or something. It's one
Speaker 4: of these people kind of tweeting wild things.
Speaker 5: See, that's the thing. Certain people they can't.
Speaker 2: Have, certainly, not like an aging baseball player.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, Also, no need. What are you doing?
Speaker 3: No you need?
Speaker 2: Why are you trying to fill.
Speaker 1: The money in the world? What are you doing online?
Speaker 2: I do something.
Speaker 1: That's the thing about social media that made it so sad.
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 1: Is he dead?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's dead, gas dead.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. It's just heh.
Speaker 6: He's been arrested for a bunch of things like reckless
Speaker 6: driving and carrying a loaded semi automatics.
Speaker 5: So he doesn't need a sword.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or maybe they've all been taken from him.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I can't.
Speaker 2: This is the weapons.
Speaker 1: I can't give him the bloodthirsty fan base because then
Speaker 1: they're gonna be encouraging that.
Speaker 2: Behavior of an army.
Speaker 1: So I actually, maybe I've to give him the torso,
Speaker 1: because well, what's he gonna do with that? He's going
Speaker 1: to party the little too hard because obviously it's a
Speaker 1: party torso. All Right, I'm still gonna give him the sword.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be chaotic no matter what. He's already he's
Speaker 1: already got weapons.
Speaker 2: Maybe trips and falls on it.
Speaker 5: Him and Howard Stern double.
Speaker 2: Come to our double funeral. You and I are singing
Speaker 2: and our bird is flying around the church.
Speaker 1: Okay. So yeah, so that that that's what I would do.
Speaker 1: And then the blood thirsty fan base goes to Moroon
Speaker 1: five because they need it. They need it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I feel like their fan base's best is probably tip it. Yeah,
Speaker 4: probably people who are like I guess I like them.
Speaker 4: I heard them on the radio. I heard them on
Speaker 4: Jack f M.
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of people go in and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, there was a show happening in their
Speaker 1: you know, small city. They know, They're like, who's headlining?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Maroon five?
Speaker 2: Okay, it's part of a corporate retreat or something absol.
Speaker 2: I didn't hate it. They could have gotten rid of
Speaker 2: two of the people on stage, but they were fine.
Speaker 1: Well, Adam's really the only one that you know from
Speaker 1: the band.
Speaker 2: No one knows anyone else in They didn't tell you
Speaker 2: another face or instrument. Is he working to keep the
Speaker 2: other people nameless?
Speaker 5: Ye, he's trying to keep them back and down.
Speaker 2: He is keeping them in Colorado City, his own.
Speaker 1: They're probably not allowed to watch TV or anything.
Speaker 4: They're very good at tiling. Maroon five tiled my bathroom.
Speaker 5: That I'd wear a shirt with that.
Speaker 2: Somebody printing Maroon five printed?
Speaker 1: Guys, are you listening? I know you reach out, Come on, Nellie,
Speaker 1: are you.
Speaker 2: There, buddy? Beautifully played, really thoughtful and uh, we've all
Speaker 2: gotten to kind of picture a swimmer's torso completely removed
Speaker 2: from a body.
Speaker 1: I like, I really truly did not understand the event.
Speaker 1: Give it to that person like they would now have
Speaker 1: a nice boty.
Speaker 2: You took it in a much better way, I think,
Speaker 2: really really dark. You created a whole new party trend,
Speaker 2: kind of a hannibal lector party. I mean it sounds fine,
Speaker 2: sounds delightful.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is the final segment of the podcast. It's
Speaker 4: called I said no emails, and people write into I
Speaker 4: said no gifts at gmail dot com listeners begging for help.
Speaker 2: I was just desperate.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: I help them. Would you mind helping of course. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's get into the dock here. Okay, well, this looks
Speaker 2: like it's going to be extremely long. Everybody buckle up, boy,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna clear my throat.
Speaker 4: Dearest Bridger on Elise and disrespectful yet gracious guest.
Speaker 1: That's nice. Oh wow, thank you.
Speaker 4: Okay, we're gonna have to blow through this because this
Speaker 4: is the Bible. This is a retrospective question, as I
Speaker 4: already lived through this horribly awkward event. I had been
Speaker 4: seeing someone for around a month and a month and
Speaker 4: a half leading up to Christmas. I am a student
Speaker 4: and the person was a friend of a friend and
Speaker 4: lived two and a half hours away from me. We
Speaker 4: had a pretty immediate spark, but it died down for
Speaker 4: me as we spent time together. Oh if tail is
Speaker 4: oldest time. I wasn't sure if it was me losing
Speaker 4: interest or just being stressed with exam season to think
Speaker 4: about a potential relationship with this person, but once I
Speaker 4: was on winter break, things became clear and I decided
Speaker 4: I didn't want to pursue it any further. Christmas heartache,
Speaker 4: I texted this person that the distance wasn't working for me,
Speaker 4: but their answer was just along the lines of they
Speaker 4: are so willing to make it work and they hope
Speaker 4: I am too.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: And then they invited me to drive up to their
Speaker 4: place for the day. Oh, this is the beginning of
Speaker 4: a horror movie. So I drove up to their place
Speaker 4: and decided to end it when I got there. The
Speaker 4: thing is that when I walked into the house, their
Speaker 4: roommates were sitting in the middle of the living room,
Speaker 4: so I couldn't do it right away. Okay, oh my god,
Speaker 4: We're about halfway through here. And then they asked me
Speaker 4: if I wanted to open my Christmas present. I had
Speaker 4: already given I'm an early Christmas present before this, and
Speaker 4: I didn't know what to do because they had already
Speaker 4: bought it for me.
Speaker 2: So I opened it. Yep, And then I thought, well,
Speaker 2: now I can't just end things right after opening a
Speaker 2: gift from them, right And basically things like this kept
Speaker 2: on happening for the whole afternoon.
Speaker 5: Yes, this is have to giving me Christmas gifts all
Speaker 5: day long?
Speaker 2: Isn't that what happens in Gone Girl? I can't remember.
Speaker 4: So I ended up awkwardly spending like three hours with them.
Speaker 4: I finally forced myself to just say what I had
Speaker 4: had to say and end it. And that was also
Speaker 4: horribly awkward and uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, good, I'm.
Speaker 2: Sorry that was long. Thank you so much for the apology.
Speaker 4: I just wanted to give a good picture of how
Speaker 4: awkward things were, because then I was faced with two
Speaker 4: situations that actually made things more awkward.
Speaker 2: Oh my.
Speaker 4: Number one, they were about to make a snack for
Speaker 4: us to eat, maybe a protein waffle, absolutely, and when
Speaker 4: we were done talking, they said they were going to
Speaker 4: still make food. I said I'd get out of their
Speaker 4: hair and head out, but they replied, no, you don't
Speaker 4: have to unless you want to.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 4: This unleashed pretty deep pettiness I didn't know I had
Speaker 4: in me, and I decided I had to stay. I
Speaker 4: absolutely overstayed my welcome and sat in their kitchen, eating
Speaker 4: their food and chatting with their roommates until they basically
Speaker 4: kicked me out, Which brings us to question one, how
Speaker 4: long is this event?
Speaker 2: We're almost done?
Speaker 1: I feel like I was like, oh I could answer
Speaker 1: that question now. Oh wait, No, there's more questions.
Speaker 4: Number one, would you have stayed? What would you have done?
Speaker 4: Number two? What do I do about the gift? A
Speaker 4: lot of my friends and family are judging me for
Speaker 4: taking a home with me, But what was I supposed
Speaker 4: to do? I wasn't asking for the gift that I
Speaker 4: gave them back, and they had already spent money to
Speaker 4: get me a gift. Would you have left the gift
Speaker 4: with them or would you have taken it? I never
Speaker 4: give gifts to get something in return. Oh okay. I
Speaker 4: believe if you give something. I believe if you give
Speaker 4: something to someone, then whatever they do is up to them.
Speaker 4: I don't know if I'm looking for validation or for okay,
Speaker 4: or for someone to tell me I was wrong, But
Speaker 4: either way, I appreciate you taking the time to read
Speaker 4: this very long email while they were all aware. Yep,
Speaker 4: wishing you the very best. You brighten my thursdays. Buttering
Speaker 4: me up last minute, Zoe.
Speaker 5: Thank you, Zoe. Wow, Okay, you know.
Speaker 2: What it's a book? Pitch.
Speaker 1: It is great manuscript. I've been in a similar situation.
Speaker 1: I had to break up, like right around Christmas with
Speaker 1: the guy what happened?
Speaker 5: And he gave me gifts?
Speaker 1: Oh no, and I still dumped him, And I tell
Speaker 1: you the gifts we had. Basically, I think I can't
Speaker 1: remember exactly the timeline, but I I think I broke
Speaker 1: up with him, and he, in the process came upstairs
Speaker 1: like with me and brought a bunch of the Christmas
Speaker 1: gifts to like almost guilt me. And then I opened
Speaker 1: them all after he left, and they were all like
Speaker 1: inside joke, and I was like, I.
Speaker 2: Want to garbage. That's easy, girl.
Speaker 1: But I feel like, first of all, you never you
Speaker 1: never have to stay anywhere you don't want to stay.
Speaker 2: No, No, especially not in this creepy cabin he's lured
Speaker 2: you into.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and even if he's doing his best to like
Speaker 1: guilty or keep you there, you can always leave. You
Speaker 1: don't owe him.
Speaker 2: Anything, no, no, unless the gift was great, and then
Speaker 2: you owe the world.
Speaker 1: The car you're hand in marriage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's true. I mean the overdoing it
Speaker 4: with the staying. I think she didn't go far enough
Speaker 4: with the overdoing it. Yes, you can overdo it. You've
Speaker 4: got to ruin his life. You do become the worst water.
Speaker 1: Yes, stay there for weeks if you're really need to.
Speaker 2: Try, and then kind of evict him from your new
Speaker 2: home and just make his life a living hell. Keeping
Speaker 2: the gift was okay to keep the gift.
Speaker 5: Gift, Well, it depends if the gifts like a diamond.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's it's all about it's if they
Speaker 1: clearly spent a lot of money and could return it
Speaker 1: and you feel guilty keeping it, right, then okay, fine,
Speaker 1: maybe give it back to them. But if it's like
Speaker 1: something like you know, enjoy the gift, it's like just
Speaker 1: keep it.
Speaker 2: It's more amplicated.
Speaker 5: To go and like give it back and hash it out.
Speaker 1: Just like I'm I'm a big fan of those kinds
Speaker 1: of breakups where you just go like cold turkey, don't
Speaker 1: speak to that person.
Speaker 5: I think it's the best.
Speaker 1: Everybody's like, no, I have to like go and get
Speaker 1: coffee with them, Like, no, you don't.
Speaker 2: What They're not going to be part of your life
Speaker 2: any You don't.
Speaker 1: Need to open that wound again.
Speaker 2: It's just clean, you know.
Speaker 1: Sign literally unnecessary. But I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: get caught up in like I have to like, I
Speaker 1: but I loved this person for so long and they
Speaker 1: have to I'm so used to talking to them, and
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, you never gonna get over it if
Speaker 1: you keeps seeing them for fucking coffee.
Speaker 2: Neither of you wins.
Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like the problem Zoe has is
Speaker 4: these judgy friends and families.
Speaker 2: I get rid of them.
Speaker 1: I agree. I think you're she's trying to please everybody
Speaker 1: and you just can't. You got to do what what
Speaker 1: makes you feel best.
Speaker 2: Zoe has to isolate, cut off everyone.
Speaker 5: Go ahead and find a cabin in the woods, not
Speaker 5: this guy's.
Speaker 2: Cabin, maybe next door, and make it your own Colorado
Speaker 2: And you don't even have to finish the house.
Speaker 1: There's plenty of men there and body women and children
Speaker 1: to be friends with.
Speaker 2: What kind of tax break could you possibly be getting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, by that point, you're paying for the gift and
Speaker 1: more with the tax break you're getting in Colorado City.
Speaker 5: I know, I do think like I mean, it's always.
Speaker 1: So messy breakups because they're like you, clearly you have
Speaker 1: stuff of theirs, they have stuff of yours. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: let them keep it. Yeah, it doesn't matter that much.
Speaker 2: In three months it'll all be forgotten.
Speaker 1: Nobody give you. Think about all the stuff in your
Speaker 1: house that goes to goodwill, not to call it back.
Speaker 2: We know none of the things will be tried on
Speaker 2: in store.
Speaker 1: That stuff's going in a landfill, no matter what, No
Speaker 1: matter what he gave you, it can't be that good.
Speaker 1: What was it? A Stanley kind?
Speaker 2: I know of all the details in this forty t
Speaker 2: Tell me what you got.
Speaker 1: Tell me otherwise I'm just like, I don't understand. It
Speaker 1: would have to be the gift would help me understand
Speaker 1: why it's so hard.
Speaker 2: Right now, this precious gem.
Speaker 1: At this point, I'm like, I don't think you really
Speaker 1: like this person. Clearly this guy seems to have some
Speaker 1: kind of hold over you or your guilt. Does that
Speaker 1: you keep going back?
Speaker 2: He basically lives in another state.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't. You could never speak to this person again.
Speaker 1: But maybe this gift was like a car Zobe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, a new boat or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, we can't answer the question fully because Zoe, Zoe
Speaker 2: fortunately failed.
Speaker 5: I love you, Zoe, but you really fucked that one up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Zoe will take you know the kind of swamp
Speaker 4: of information we just provided and.
Speaker 2: Fix your life. Yeah, fix your.
Speaker 4: Life with that information. We answered this as perfectly as
Speaker 4: we possibly could have.
Speaker 1: And I just want to say, I kept all those
Speaker 1: gifts from that guy that I broke.
Speaker 2: Up with, and do you still have look at me now,
Speaker 2: I don't have any one of those gifts. Oh I
Speaker 2: wonder who has them? Some landfill probably, And now you're
Speaker 2: here being a beautiful artist, exactly, Zoe.
Speaker 1: That could be Zoe, could be you, Zoe painting a
Speaker 1: beautiful picture like this.
Speaker 2: Oh Lily, I've had such a wonderful time.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, me too.
Speaker 2: And I now have this beautiful piece of art. I'll
Speaker 2: have to frame.
Speaker 1: Yes, sorry I didn't bring a frame and.
Speaker 4: Then sell to our billionaire listener. Please reach out, I'm
Speaker 4: begging you. Let me stay in your vacation home. Just
Speaker 4: so wonderful time with you. Thank you for being.
Speaker 1: Here, ah Joy, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2: Listener.
Speaker 4: The podcast is, it's never been more over. It's just ending,
Speaker 4: move on, I love you, goodbye, I said No Gifts
Speaker 4: is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear
Speaker 4: friend Annalise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday,
Speaker 4: and we couldn't do it without our guest booker Patrick Kottner.
Speaker 4: The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle
Speaker 4: worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram.
Speaker 4: At I said, no gifts. I don't want to hear
Speaker 4: any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of
Speaker 4: all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want
Speaker 4: to see pictures of the gifts?
Speaker 1: Invt did you hear?
Speaker 3: Funa Man myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest, Tom,
Speaker 3: you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests,
Speaker 3: your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff,
Speaker 3: So how do you dare to surbey me