WEBVTT - The Let Me Theory

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'mheart Radio Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh ladies, you guys took Jolie's queue today because it's

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<v Speaker 2>stripees day today. Oh what makes it? Stripes? Stay not

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<v Speaker 2>wearing stripes. But so they're doing teacap testing and so

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<v Speaker 2>each day they they're dressing to get them prepared for

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't know what a stripe is for the

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<v Speaker 2>tea cap, but it's something. Yeah, it's like yesterday was

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<v Speaker 2>black because they have to fill in the whole thing black.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's just like a fun way to get them

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<v Speaker 2>excited about testing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's cute. We don't do that.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me know if that works. There's not much you

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<v Speaker 2>could do to get me excited about testing ever my teacaps. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I know it started to do you guys remember the meap.

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<v Speaker 1>We we didn't have meap.

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<v Speaker 2>I just I just had a response in my body.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't even know existed. Wow, So we just had Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>We just had the final meeting at school for Jolie

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<v Speaker 2>for her dyslexia and her IEP and you know, she'll

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<v Speaker 2>have the read aloud for the tea cap and the

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<v Speaker 2>testing and she's going to be able to pass because

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<v Speaker 2>of the third grade log exemption for her dyslexia. So

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<v Speaker 2>this is great because this is the grade that she

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<v Speaker 2>would have been held back, and she would have if

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<v Speaker 2>she didn't have the dyslexia. So she's getting the log assumption.

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<v Speaker 2>It's great. We've we've got a whole plan for her

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<v Speaker 2>in place. But when they're bringing up the testing, I

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<v Speaker 2>thought of meep and I had this like.

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<v Speaker 3>I had it.

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<v Speaker 2>That's wild. I forgot. I don't know that I've heard

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<v Speaker 2>that word since we took it. I'm sorry, there's.

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<v Speaker 1>What hours was. I mean, we've always had teacap here.

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<v Speaker 2>I just every time we're saying this, I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>it's a teacup and it's just going a different direction

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<v Speaker 2>from me.

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<v Speaker 1>That's terrible.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's cute though. What they do. We wrote letters,

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<v Speaker 2>So there's six letters that they could you guys do

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<v Speaker 2>the letters to it? Yeah, so Jace wrote a sweet

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<v Speaker 2>one in class that I put an envelope for him,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know I got everyone. But I digress. Anyways,

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<v Speaker 2>you guys are in stripes. Go teacap week, Go teacap.

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<v Speaker 2>We're not even what a big week though, because we've

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<v Speaker 2>got a number one here. Low Cash has gone number one,

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<v Speaker 2>my hometown home better? Are you say better than me? Better?

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone goes stream it so exciting the fact that they

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<v Speaker 2>are on their own label and they have a number

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<v Speaker 2>one at radio. It means you, guys, I mean the

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<v Speaker 2>work that was put into that. Congratulations to the Breast family.

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<v Speaker 2>So emotional. That's amazing, It's incredible. It is a way

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<v Speaker 2>different feeling. Where we did Billboard number one last week,

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<v Speaker 2>we're media Base this week. We're going for a two

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<v Speaker 2>week number one on media Base. I mean, we are

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<v Speaker 2>just doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>It just so I feel like we were just talking

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<v Speaker 1>about when was that. It was like two months ago

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<v Speaker 1>maybe when we all got together and we were at

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<v Speaker 1>dinner and we were talking about going for that number one,

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<v Speaker 1>And it's wild.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just crazy exciting, it's exciting. It's so great, exciting,

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<v Speaker 2>so much into this one. It just feels different, feels different.

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<v Speaker 2>So there's a lot to catch up on. I love

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<v Speaker 2>these days. Did you guys happen to see my Instagram

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<v Speaker 2>a couple of days ago?

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<v Speaker 1>Which one?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it was a coffee star? Oh no, And I said, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll probably be talking about it on next week's podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>I forgot what I was doing because I remember being

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<v Speaker 1>very distracted. I was talking to someone, probably trying to

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<v Speaker 1>talk to my child or something, and I saw that.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, wait, wait, wait what and then I

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<v Speaker 1>forgot about it. Meant to message you, but do tell.

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<v Speaker 3>Were you like, wait, Mike? I thought we didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, sometimes things just don't surprise me, kind of just like, okay, wait,

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<v Speaker 1>fill me in because I didn't see this.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so let me just back up another beat. Right, So,

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<v Speaker 2>there is this thing called Derby Day at school. Do

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<v Speaker 2>you guys have Dirby? We do not, Okay, there are

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<v Speaker 2>so many days you'll do a.

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<v Speaker 1>Lot on your calendar. I'm like, you'll do a lot

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<v Speaker 1>more than we do.

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<v Speaker 2>Derby Day, field days, I guess you guys. Field day, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>pajama days. It is. It is quite a lot.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah okay, but we were heavy day, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>And it is where the kids run around in the

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<v Speaker 2>car line loop for thirty minutes. Is to raise money

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<v Speaker 2>for the school, and I believe other things.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I mean we do something similar.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just called okay, Okay, that's something different. They make them,

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<v Speaker 2>the kids, the horses, what they have to run, So

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<v Speaker 2>it's how many laps you run okay, yeah, okay, I

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<v Speaker 2>say the thirty minutes it was is quite a long

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<v Speaker 2>time because they know they want the kids to run

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<v Speaker 2>around run a lot, So of course I helped run

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<v Speaker 2>you know both. I asked the kids, you know, do

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<v Speaker 2>you want to run? Because their kids, the friends all

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<v Speaker 2>go off like they kind of start together, and then

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<v Speaker 2>then I see them running on their own. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>do you want me to run with you? And they're

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<v Speaker 2>like yes. So I did a lot of the running

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<v Speaker 2>with them. Alan did some running. My cat's running so

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<v Speaker 2>like he wasn't going to run regardless. My husband's definitely

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<v Speaker 2>I go. Dad has a cough. She can't make it.

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<v Speaker 3>There's on the roads. It's actually really study.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll get you for straight day maybe. But no, we're

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<v Speaker 2>not making fun of you.

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<v Speaker 3>That's fine if you don't like to I do not

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<v Speaker 3>like to run.

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<v Speaker 2>That we know. Great. Even when we were about to

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<v Speaker 2>miss a flight to one tree hill, we're not running.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, no, not even job.

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<v Speaker 1>The one I was not running.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like, I will run home if I'm missing

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<v Speaker 2>a flight to see my kids. I love my tree hillers,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm not like it already says it's in the

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<v Speaker 2>air I'm not running to the gate.

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<v Speaker 1>There was no need to run. Just so we're very clear.

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<v Speaker 2>I have PTSD from one of our trips. Continue Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I was running.

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<v Speaker 1>We really digress.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, here we go.

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<v Speaker 2>So we're at Derby Day and it has been volatile

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<v Speaker 2>between us, not how the cozy used to be, saying

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<v Speaker 2>hellos and goodbyes, and you know, after coming on here

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<v Speaker 2>and talking on the podcast. So but Derby Day was

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<v Speaker 2>especially a moment where I was like, I don't actually

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<v Speaker 2>like the way this feels because it was one of

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<v Speaker 2>those where there was no we were It's not that

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<v Speaker 2>I was like trying to not, but it was there

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<v Speaker 2>was no hello, there was no goodbye, there was no

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<v Speaker 2>like even between Alan and Like. It was. He was

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<v Speaker 2>on the one side. I was on the one side.

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<v Speaker 2>And I remember and Alan made a comment, He's like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you can cut the tension with you know, a knife,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, I'm gonna attention.

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care let them let them. Oh, I have

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<v Speaker 2>a whole other topic about that. That's my wine about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Stay tuned, Okay, we are today. I'm sorry, stay tuned.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't know. Okay, I'm gonna get Okay, I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to get in to let them Jesus get us back

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<v Speaker 2>to Derby Day. So I'm you know, I'm feeling this

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<v Speaker 2>tension and he leaves and this is and we've had

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<v Speaker 2>a couple of games where it was, you know, fine,

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<v Speaker 2>but we normally we will stand next to each other,

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<v Speaker 2>do that whole stuff. But no, there was there was,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, none of that. So he leaves and that

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<v Speaker 2>is when I thought to myself, Okay, I can be

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<v Speaker 2>upset and I can have frustrations, and I can also

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<v Speaker 2>not like this tension, and I don't want and again,

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<v Speaker 2>we don't need to be best friends, but there doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>need to be. Now this has kind of gotten out

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<v Speaker 2>of hand where it's this is, this is like too much,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. So I text him not that day, it

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<v Speaker 2>was probably a couple days later. I just said, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>can we discuss the summer schedule? And also I think

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<v Speaker 2>we should talk about a few things and he said,

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<v Speaker 2>sounds good. How is this day? Okay? Great? So the

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<v Speaker 2>plan was he was going to drop the kids off

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<v Speaker 2>on Sunday because I get them again on Sundays on

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<v Speaker 2>his weekends, and we would discuss the summer schedule and

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<v Speaker 2>then we would have a chat. So the kids are

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<v Speaker 2>playing and we're like, hey, mommy and Daddy needs to

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<v Speaker 2>go have conversations. We go into Alan's office and we

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<v Speaker 2>start talking about the schedule in the summer. So, for

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<v Speaker 2>the schedule in the summer, it's supposed to be week on,

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<v Speaker 2>week off. I don't like that. I don't like not

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<v Speaker 2>seeing the I don't ever have a week without them

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<v Speaker 2>unless I'm filming something. So I drafted up more of

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<v Speaker 2>like a three four kind of plan. I think it's

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<v Speaker 2>better for the kids, the whole situation. I like it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's good for him too, because it's not just you know,

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<v Speaker 2>because he works during the week. We've got certain things,

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<v Speaker 2>so now if we book a movie, it all kind

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<v Speaker 2>of changes. But whatever, Like at least we've agreed to

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<v Speaker 2>a schedule. So he's like, I think this sounds great

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<v Speaker 2>and this is probably best for the kids one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>percent great. And then it was like that awkward, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>so what do we want to talk? And I'm like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>go for it. Do you want to say something?

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<v Speaker 3>And we do.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel it.

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<v Speaker 1>Because I'm like I want to eventually in the office, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Know, and I like sitting in all and see you know,

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<v Speaker 2>but I didn't know where to go, and I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to come into office. I'm not having this stund

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<v Speaker 2>with them like oh it's perfect, like so yeah, and

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<v Speaker 2>so also like trying to respect him, like I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to bring him up. So I was like, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>let's just and I don't want the kids to be

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<v Speaker 2>hearing any of this conversation, you know. So I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>let's just go to his office and it's business. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I like the office, but I'm not going.

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<v Speaker 3>To start, even though it's my idea to talk but whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>So I you know, he's like, well, I just don't understand,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, why we're here again. I've gotten some things

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<v Speaker 2>sent to me from your podcast and I'm like, what

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<v Speaker 2>people are sending you? He's like, you know, those Reddit

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<v Speaker 2>trolls or whatever whoever, are sending me clips of the

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<v Speaker 2>things you're saying on the podcast. And I was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and I mean you say it here, it's

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<v Speaker 2>not like trying to like you know, he goes, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I just don't understand, you know why we're here again.

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<v Speaker 2>He's like what did I do to be in this

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<v Speaker 2>situation right now? And so, you know, and then he's

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<v Speaker 2>like you know, I apologize that we're in this situation,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and he's like, I just don't understand what

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<v Speaker 2>I've done thus far, and I said, this is you know.

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<v Speaker 2>So I appreciated him sharing, I said, but for me

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<v Speaker 2>it's hard because I for as long as I'm paying

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<v Speaker 2>child support and these certain things, there's always going to

0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.480
<v Speaker 2>be that resentment or I'm going to feel tied, or

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to feel that cage of the resentment from

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<v Speaker 2>our marriage and the things that happened. And so it

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<v Speaker 2>is hard for me when certain things are said and

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<v Speaker 2>then I see this and he's he's explaining his so

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<v Speaker 2>he's like, well, I thought I heard this, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>well that's not what I said, but okay, I can

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<v Speaker 2>understand that's what you might have heard. And now you

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<v Speaker 2>can see how and then I took it, and so

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<v Speaker 2>we're having those good conversations. I was like, but for me,

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<v Speaker 2>I just feel like, you're trying to have this great relationship,

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<v Speaker 2>but in just to make sure that I'm paying you

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<v Speaker 2>your support check every month on time, and is this

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<v Speaker 2>even a real French And why would you like You're

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<v Speaker 2>never not going to take the money, you know, And

0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:05.440
<v Speaker 2>I just don't believe it. When you come on this

0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.200
<v Speaker 2>podcast and say that you hate it and that you're

0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.400
<v Speaker 2>going to stop one day, I just don't believe you, you know.

0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:11.720
<v Speaker 2>And he's like, well, you know, I'll probably regret not

0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.280
<v Speaker 2>taking it one day, but you know, I don't want

0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:15.720
<v Speaker 2>you for our relationship. And I was like, well, why

0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:18.360
<v Speaker 2>do you care about our relationship? Like it's free money,

0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:20.280
<v Speaker 2>why would you care, you know? And so we just

0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.200
<v Speaker 2>kind of like talk through that, and he said that

0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:25.960
<v Speaker 2>he has a plan that by a certain point he

0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:29.360
<v Speaker 2>would like to be at a good place to not

0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:32.280
<v Speaker 2>because he knows what it does to me and to

0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:36.320
<v Speaker 2>our relationship. So do I believe it? I don't know,

0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:38.360
<v Speaker 2>But I said I will let it rest for this

0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:41.880
<v Speaker 2>period to see and then we can revisit, because obviously

0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:46.760
<v Speaker 2>this is what you're saying you would like to not

0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:51.160
<v Speaker 2>do anymore past this point, So okay, I will back

0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:53.880
<v Speaker 2>off that I will try to just swallow some resentment

0:11:53.920 --> 0:12:03.800
<v Speaker 2>stuff and see. So we talked about that, okay, And

0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.160
<v Speaker 2>because at the end of the day, I'm like, I

0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:07.400
<v Speaker 2>don't want I don't you guys know me. I don't

0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:11.560
<v Speaker 2>like having bad energy. I don't want to I don't

0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:13.880
<v Speaker 2>want to again, We're not going to be like besties,

0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.720
<v Speaker 2>right obviously, but there does there's we were at such

0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:19.959
<v Speaker 2>a we were at such a great co parenting place

0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.960
<v Speaker 2>that and we were able to crack jokes and be

0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:25.880
<v Speaker 2>friendly at games, and I want that for the kids,

0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:27.400
<v Speaker 2>and I want to be able to have him around

0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:30.760
<v Speaker 2>certain things for family stuff like so I and I

0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.280
<v Speaker 2>just don't like having that tension. So I'm going to

0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:37.360
<v Speaker 2>do my best to let that resentment hold for a

0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.080
<v Speaker 2>beat and then I hope that he follows up on

0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:41.600
<v Speaker 2>what he says and if not, we'll talk about it

0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:44.559
<v Speaker 2>in two years. Yeah, it feels a little ground cadgs day.

0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.640
<v Speaker 2>So that's probably also frustrating. Yeah, well we've heard it

0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:50.079
<v Speaker 2>all before. Yeah, And I don't disagree with you. I

0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.480
<v Speaker 2>would want the tension to be gone. I don't want

0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:54.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't like it.

0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 1>It's not good for anyone. So i'd agree with you

0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:59.960
<v Speaker 1>on that and the kids too, exactly. And my only

0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.120
<v Speaker 1>fear and hearing what you're saying is that you're holding

0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.600
<v Speaker 1>on to this hope. I know of something I know

0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.920
<v Speaker 1>that is probably not going to come to fruition. I know,

0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.000
<v Speaker 1>And my prayer for you is that you at some

0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.800
<v Speaker 1>point can let go of that, knowing that you may

0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 1>be paying him until they're eighteen. I know, And I

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:17.800
<v Speaker 1>think I'm hoping you can get to that at some

0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:20.720
<v Speaker 1>point instead of holding on to some kind.

0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Of and I know, but I almost need to have

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.400
<v Speaker 2>that for sure. And I know in two years I'm

0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:29.320
<v Speaker 2>probably going to get and they'll be a big blow

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:33.559
<v Speaker 2>up again. But I at least my therapist said four, now,

0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:38.560
<v Speaker 2>let's believe this for now, you know, and so and

0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.360
<v Speaker 2>then but yes, I agree, I'm already like and that's

0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:43.480
<v Speaker 2>where I said, I'm like, that's where the tension, the

0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:45.680
<v Speaker 2>resentment will always be there. I'm always going to have

0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.600
<v Speaker 2>an issue while because I've felt all this resentment in

0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:50.280
<v Speaker 2>our relationship. So of course I'm going to feel this.

0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.160
<v Speaker 2>And then when I see you say this and do

0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:54.760
<v Speaker 2>this and it's still the same person, of course I'm

0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.960
<v Speaker 2>going to be upset. How can you not think i'd

0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:01.160
<v Speaker 2>be upset? You know? So, and she said, till eighteen

0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:03.440
<v Speaker 2>I had the face. I couldn't even hide it. I mean,

0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:03.800
<v Speaker 2>that's a.

0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:07.800
<v Speaker 1>Long it's a long time, and I totally understand that.

0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:09.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't think in my brain it was till eighteen

0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:11.600
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know why it wouldn't be it makes sense.

0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:13.720
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't make sense, but it makes sense. I just

0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.480
<v Speaker 1>hate it all to let down again. That's what worries me,

0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:19.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, hearing that, because I hate you. Just I

0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.920
<v Speaker 1>hate it you're constantly feeling let down by him. I

0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:26.040
<v Speaker 1>feel like, you know, and but I'm so thankful, and

0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm so thankful that y'all are able to get to

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:31.000
<v Speaker 1>this place that hopefully will help everybody for the next

0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:33.240
<v Speaker 1>couple of years. And maybe he can do it. Maybe

0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:35.760
<v Speaker 1>he really truly can get to a point where he

0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:38.040
<v Speaker 1>doesn't have to take the money. I mean, I I

0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:40.680
<v Speaker 1>think that if you really tried, he could. Yeah, you

0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:41.400
<v Speaker 1>know I do.

0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:43.600
<v Speaker 2>Do I have faith in it? No, But it's because

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:47.400
<v Speaker 2>I've always seen the version of sure what I've been shown.

0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 2>I would love this to not be the thing that

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:52.680
<v Speaker 2>holds our relationship captive. I would I was like, Mike,

0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:55.080
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I want an even playing ground with you.

0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 2>I've never had that ever with you ever. And I

0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 2>was like, and that is why it's so frustrated. I

0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:04.680
<v Speaker 2>have such resentment. I was like, I'm like, that's the

0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.160
<v Speaker 2>piece that's hard for me is because it's always been,

0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.120
<v Speaker 2>Mike hurt me, Mike cheated, Mike's took this, and it's

0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:16.080
<v Speaker 2>like we've never just been equals ever adults. Yeah really yeah,

0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.360
<v Speaker 2>and you've never not just taken or hurt. I was like,

0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.280
<v Speaker 2>I would just love us to just be like you

0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.560
<v Speaker 2>support the kids. I support the kids on the bairground.

0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:27.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeahah well well you know yeah, yeah that's really fair.

0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.320
<v Speaker 2>But so what I'll say is how that video came about.

0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:43.720
<v Speaker 2>So when we were in there for about an hour

0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:45.720
<v Speaker 2>and a half, I forgot we started the video. Yeah,

0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.280
<v Speaker 2>so we were in there for quite a bit, I mean,

0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:50.160
<v Speaker 2>and the kids were kept kind of being like y'all,

0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, you know, there were some tearful moments. I'm like,

0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.080
<v Speaker 2>this is you know, he got upset, I got upset.

0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:58.080
<v Speaker 2>So there was where we were hashing out stuff that

0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:01.480
<v Speaker 2>was good to hash out, or our relationship today, you know,

0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.240
<v Speaker 2>not like Pat, but like where we're at today. And

0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.920
<v Speaker 2>so you know, the kids are probably wondering why we're

0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 2>in there, And so Jolie had taken and I hadn't

0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.560
<v Speaker 2>deleted Carver Star off the phone yet, and so Jolie

0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.360
<v Speaker 2>had taken the phone. And when I came out there,

0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.080
<v Speaker 2>because you know, Alan's putting the baby to bed, and

0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:18.560
<v Speaker 2>so I'm sure he was like, yeah, I go. You know,

0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:21.440
<v Speaker 2>she went on there and when we got out of

0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:24.240
<v Speaker 2>the room, she's like, mommy, daddy, will you guys do

0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.520
<v Speaker 2>this video with us? And so I'm like, of course,

0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:28.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, I want them to see that we can

0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:31.280
<v Speaker 2>that were good and we weren't fight, you know, everything

0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.640
<v Speaker 2>was fine. So that's how that video came about. So,

0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.160
<v Speaker 2>but Mike was a star in the cover star, just

0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:39.040
<v Speaker 2>like them doing a cover star. It was funny, but

0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:41.360
<v Speaker 2>it was like it was really funny, like it was.

0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:44.200
<v Speaker 2>It was a quite see topic. A few things in

0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.640
<v Speaker 2>there were good. But I think since then it's been great.

0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:48.920
<v Speaker 2>Like we've been at games and it's been you know,

0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.600
<v Speaker 2>there's that lightness again. And that's what I'm like, I

0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:55.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't want that. I don't I don't. I don't

0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:58.320
<v Speaker 2>do well with that tension. I like to just be

0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:02.080
<v Speaker 2>good with everybody and just be like, all right, for sure,

0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.320
<v Speaker 2>we're good and I'm going to do my best to

0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:05.960
<v Speaker 2>not bring it up. I got I got two years,

0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:09.560
<v Speaker 2>he said, when he's forty, so tbd. I was like,

0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.040
<v Speaker 2>let's they're a good old fortieth birthday party on Wine

0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:15.280
<v Speaker 2>Down and see where we're at another murder mystery TBD

0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:17.480
<v Speaker 2>and we will see.

0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:19.720
<v Speaker 1>I am proud of y'all though, I think that that

0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.480
<v Speaker 1>was very adult of both of you to sit down

0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.920
<v Speaker 1>and do that, And a lot can happen in two years.

0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.960
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I continue to be pretty proud of both

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.120
<v Speaker 2>of you in a lot of ways, like the way

0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:34.280
<v Speaker 2>you do all of it, and Alan for that matter, Yeah, yeah,

0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:36.280
<v Speaker 2>for sure. Well and he kind of just like follows

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:37.399
<v Speaker 2>my lead and it's like I just don't want to

0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:40.000
<v Speaker 2>be comfortable for any uncomfortable for anyone, you know, and

0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:42.840
<v Speaker 2>so but it does take a certain level of understanding

0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:44.800
<v Speaker 2>from Alan to to be able to even participate in

0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 2>the system. Yeah, yeah, that's for sure, because he's so

0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:51.119
<v Speaker 2>protective of you. But I gotta I mean, I know

0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:52.840
<v Speaker 2>we have other things, but I just I feel like

0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:54.120
<v Speaker 2>we got to. I have to go to the wine

0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:54.520
<v Speaker 2>about it.

0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:59.320
<v Speaker 1>I want to know, Yeah, what marked because Bark earlier.

0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:02.440
<v Speaker 2>I guess I got to read the book because I've

0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.640
<v Speaker 2>been kind of deep diving a bit about let them.

0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I'm gonna let them know something.

0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.040
<v Speaker 1>So it's the whole hold on because I haven't, and

0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:14.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't really know. The whole premise is right, let

0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.520
<v Speaker 1>them do their thing, let them be them, let them, let.

0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Them, But it's in two parts. Apparently it should be.

0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:22.880
<v Speaker 2>But nobody, this is my problem. Nobody is talking about

0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 2>the let me me that is, and I struggle exactly.

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 2>I haven't either until I until I until I kind

0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:33.280
<v Speaker 2>of deep took a deep dive into it because I'm like, no,

0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:35.639
<v Speaker 2>don't let them, Like to a point, yes, let them,

0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:37.720
<v Speaker 2>but don't don't let them walk all over you. Don't

0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.520
<v Speaker 2>let them talk to you like that, don't let them

0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:41.960
<v Speaker 2>do this to you, don't let them make you feel

0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:45.000
<v Speaker 2>this way, don't don't let them absolutely not stand up

0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.320
<v Speaker 2>for yourself. Yeah. So again, I haven't read the book.

0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:50.240
<v Speaker 2>Read what I'm seeing. It gets a little the stuff

0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:53.280
<v Speaker 2>is like, oh, just you know, that's their thing. Let

0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:57.320
<v Speaker 2>them No, no, no, no no. She does a better

0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.879
<v Speaker 2>job explaining in the book, I'm gonna let them know what.

0:18:59.920 --> 0:19:02.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm only seventy pages in, so I'm not. I will

0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:05.439
<v Speaker 2>just say though, that's all I'm seeing, and I just

0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:08.560
<v Speaker 2>don't think that's the right thing. Yes, No, I'm gonna

0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:12.720
<v Speaker 2>like with with my situation with Max, yeah, let them. Okay, fine,

0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:15.760
<v Speaker 2>there's a piece of that I understand. That's that's who

0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:18.880
<v Speaker 2>he is. Let them. I can't control that. Let them right,

0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:21.199
<v Speaker 2>those are things we can't control, certain things that our

0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:24.360
<v Speaker 2>parents let them that is, those those things. But when

0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:27.199
<v Speaker 2>there's certain asterisks to all of that, like no, I

0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:29.320
<v Speaker 2>think you should stand, you should do the X, Y

0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:31.200
<v Speaker 2>and Z. Maybe she talks about in her books, maybe

0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.240
<v Speaker 2>I will. But why is nobody talking about the let

0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:35.720
<v Speaker 2>me part? Because that's the part that is still let

0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:39.480
<v Speaker 2>me part. Well, so it's let them do what they'll do,

0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:44.520
<v Speaker 2>or but it's not till like these crazy so far

0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:46.880
<v Speaker 2>from me again only seventy pages in, because I can't

0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:50.240
<v Speaker 2>really get anything done right now. But it's like the

0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:54.600
<v Speaker 2>idea of not getting your feelings hurt, right, So, like

0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:57.440
<v Speaker 2>they take a vacation. One of the examples she uses

0:19:57.480 --> 0:20:00.399
<v Speaker 2>pretty straight away is like how there's fantas friends of

0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:02.600
<v Speaker 2>hers that are friend group, and I think we've all

0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:04.960
<v Speaker 2>experienced this too, where it was like they all take

0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:07.080
<v Speaker 2>this vacation. She has this feeling of seeing it and

0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:08.840
<v Speaker 2>they were all her friends, and then she has this

0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:11.720
<v Speaker 2>moment where she was like very sad, you know, spir

0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:14.080
<v Speaker 2>really sure, yeah, But then she has a moment of

0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.160
<v Speaker 2>like responsibility, like, but did I keep up with them?

0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:18.919
<v Speaker 2>Have I checked in with them? Would they know I

0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:21.120
<v Speaker 2>want to go on this vacation. I've been unavailable here

0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:23.320
<v Speaker 2>and unavailable there, like at a certain point, you know.

0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:28.680
<v Speaker 2>And then the let me part is so far essentially

0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:32.399
<v Speaker 2>like what can you do? What can you adopt in yourself?

0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:35.600
<v Speaker 2>What can you do to help like change it or

0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:38.480
<v Speaker 2>can get adjust or get control of it? So it's

0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:40.760
<v Speaker 2>not your So you're not just yeah, so you're not

0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:43.320
<v Speaker 2>just going let them? And then because that's not an

0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:45.840
<v Speaker 2>easy thing to do, there's a resentment comes with let them, yeah,

0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:48.280
<v Speaker 2>and there's sadness that comes with let them, So it

0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:51.280
<v Speaker 2>doesn't The let me part is the part I'm kind

0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:52.679
<v Speaker 2>of in on the book right now, so I'm not

0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:55.520
<v Speaker 2>even probably explaining it well, but essentially like, then what

0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:56.679
<v Speaker 2>can you do as a you?

0:20:57.680 --> 0:20:59.600
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm living this with my thirteen year

0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:01.879
<v Speaker 1>old right now with all of her middle school friends,

0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:06.520
<v Speaker 1>and I'm the opposite with which I am not letting them,

0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:11.000
<v Speaker 1>like let them know, yeah, let them know this is hurtful,

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:14.119
<v Speaker 1>let them know you expect more well out of a friendship.

0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:16.480
<v Speaker 1>Let them know that this is the kind of friend

0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be, and I'm sorry, that's what I

0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:22.080
<v Speaker 1>expect in return for you. I need you to be

0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:22.560
<v Speaker 1>here for me.

0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:26.480
<v Speaker 2>I think that this I think, like anything, everything is

0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:29.639
<v Speaker 2>kind of getting a little like out of context. But

0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:33.080
<v Speaker 2>essentially it's like you can do that so many times

0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:35.919
<v Speaker 2>and if you see this, no, so that's changed than

0:21:36.000 --> 0:21:37.480
<v Speaker 2>just and that's where we're at.

0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:39.840
<v Speaker 1>That's where we're at with it, Like, sure, you can

0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:41.639
<v Speaker 1>only do so much, you can only stand up for

0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:43.960
<v Speaker 1>your so much that if things don't change now it

0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:44.479
<v Speaker 1>is on you.

0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:45.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:47.320
<v Speaker 1>And that's been our conversation of the last couple of days,

0:21:47.320 --> 0:21:49.560
<v Speaker 1>Like there's only so much we can do. We cannot

0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:54.040
<v Speaker 1>control their actions, and now it's on you to walk away, yeah,

0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:55.760
<v Speaker 1>or continue to get hurt.

0:21:55.920 --> 0:21:56.199
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:21:56.320 --> 0:21:58.280
<v Speaker 1>That's so I see both sides of that.

0:21:58.440 --> 0:22:00.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they let me is the part that focuses unreclaiming

0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 2>your power by focusing on what you can control, your thoughts,

0:22:03.359 --> 0:22:05.960
<v Speaker 2>actions and reactions to situations. But I just feel like

0:22:06.040 --> 0:22:08.679
<v Speaker 2>that should be the bigger that should be. It's like

0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:12.639
<v Speaker 2>let them know, you know, and and then let me

0:22:12.680 --> 0:22:14.439
<v Speaker 2>do this. It's like I just think they'll let me

0:22:14.480 --> 0:22:16.879
<v Speaker 2>should be more of the talking point instead of just

0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:20.040
<v Speaker 2>being like, oh, let them do it. Yeah, it feels well,

0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:22.040
<v Speaker 2>and there's a way to do that and be kind.

0:22:22.320 --> 0:22:24.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean like there's a way to say I mean,

0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:27.080
<v Speaker 1>we just did it on the podcast not long ago,

0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:31.320
<v Speaker 1>like hey guys, this was hurtful, instead of just letting

0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:33.280
<v Speaker 1>it fester and letting.

0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:35.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, let them make jokes or yeah what I mean

0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:38.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, I mean that's billy example.

0:22:38.920 --> 0:22:43.439
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, but it's like it makes things stronger in

0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:44.040
<v Speaker 1>my opinion.

0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:48.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, No, the whole this isn't I really encouraged to

0:22:48.200 --> 0:22:48.680
<v Speaker 2>read the book.

0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:50.119
<v Speaker 3>It does get a little repetitive.

0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:52.080
<v Speaker 1>I've seen the clips too, and I have felt the

0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:54.000
<v Speaker 1>same way we've actually talked about this. I have not read.

0:22:54.320 --> 0:22:56.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm a fan of mel and she's been on the podcast.

0:22:56.440 --> 0:22:58.560
<v Speaker 2>I just from what I've been seeing, I just wish

0:22:58.640 --> 0:23:02.239
<v Speaker 2>the focus was well, it's also just about like let

0:23:02.280 --> 0:23:05.760
<v Speaker 2>me let them neither neither did I till I started

0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:07.080
<v Speaker 2>to more deep dive into it, I'm like, well, why

0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:08.679
<v Speaker 2>aren't we talking about this piece that is a good

0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:11.600
<v Speaker 2>points piece that I want to talk about, not just

0:23:11.600 --> 0:23:13.919
<v Speaker 2>like oh, let them do that. Well, also like the

0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:16.600
<v Speaker 2>way that presents itself is just like just be passive

0:23:16.600 --> 0:23:19.680
<v Speaker 2>and let narcisst be narcissist and let you know, abusive

0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:22.719
<v Speaker 2>people be abusive people, not any level, you know. And

0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:27.000
<v Speaker 2>that's not what she's saying. She's going like it's in

0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:29.840
<v Speaker 2>the more. I don't even know that this is not

0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:31.680
<v Speaker 2>a melan door statement, But to me, it feels more

0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:34.640
<v Speaker 2>like middle of the road kind of conflicts, not so extreme,

0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:37.400
<v Speaker 2>like you're just living like kind of normal day to day,

0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:39.840
<v Speaker 2>middle of the road life, like it left out of

0:23:39.840 --> 0:23:41.480
<v Speaker 2>the trip or the group chat or the you know

0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:45.680
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, just don't just take a minute to In

0:23:45.720 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 2>my brain, it competes to ownership and honesty and then

0:23:49.440 --> 0:23:51.800
<v Speaker 2>what can I do to make it feel better for myself.

0:23:51.840 --> 0:23:54.159
<v Speaker 2>That's how I've interpreted it so far. I still I

0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:56.280
<v Speaker 2>just I still just kind of go I don't know,

0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:59.800
<v Speaker 2>I still will would like the other piece, Yeah, it's

0:23:59.840 --> 0:24:02.720
<v Speaker 2>a let them and for me, yeah, I just wonder

0:24:02.760 --> 0:24:05.600
<v Speaker 2>how marketable that is. Maybe they'll let them. Is the

0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:08.440
<v Speaker 2>part that they're just you know, like the titles picking

0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:11.720
<v Speaker 2>up on ye for sure. Yeah, I mean, because I'm

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:15.440
<v Speaker 2>kind of in that situation right now where I'm I'm

0:24:15.440 --> 0:24:19.480
<v Speaker 2>dealing with trying to text someone at the moment, but

0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:22.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't. It's like, all right, let them, let them

0:24:22.560 --> 0:24:25.520
<v Speaker 2>do that. But I'm like, but I want to voice

0:24:25.840 --> 0:24:28.880
<v Speaker 2>this piece of it because it's bothering me. And that's

0:24:28.920 --> 0:24:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I guess that's to let me part of you know,

0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:34.960
<v Speaker 2>boundaries and whatever. But I don't know, girls, I just

0:24:35.440 --> 0:24:39.080
<v Speaker 2>bothers me to people a disservice. I would want to know.

0:24:39.240 --> 0:24:41.760
<v Speaker 1>It might be painful in the moment to hear it,

0:24:41.920 --> 0:24:44.760
<v Speaker 1>but I would always want to know if it's my child,

0:24:44.840 --> 0:24:47.879
<v Speaker 1>if it's me, I would much rather be aware than

0:24:48.000 --> 0:24:52.720
<v Speaker 1>let someone fester over something and me have no idea. Yeah,

0:24:52.800 --> 0:24:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean, hands down all the time. I'd rather that.

0:24:55.640 --> 0:24:57.360
<v Speaker 1>It may be hard to hear, I may not want

0:24:57.400 --> 0:24:59.879
<v Speaker 1>to hear it, but if my child is doing something,

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:03.359
<v Speaker 1>if I am doing something, please tell me. Because I

0:25:03.440 --> 0:25:06.280
<v Speaker 1>want to be better. I don't want to hurt people's feelings.

0:25:06.359 --> 0:25:08.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't want my children to do things I don't.

0:25:08.880 --> 0:25:13.040
<v Speaker 1>So the let them, I think is for me is

0:25:13.040 --> 0:25:15.240
<v Speaker 1>if we get to a point if I have voiced

0:25:15.240 --> 0:25:17.760
<v Speaker 1>my opinion yes, and I have said something, and we're

0:25:17.800 --> 0:25:20.840
<v Speaker 1>not moving forward and nothing is changing, then it's up

0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:23.760
<v Speaker 1>to me to let them.

0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:27.240
<v Speaker 2>And really the starting story that she begins with is

0:25:27.760 --> 0:25:32.439
<v Speaker 2>essentially she is a lot of us. So she's in

0:25:32.560 --> 0:25:36.200
<v Speaker 2>the nicest way, but a type controlling got a little

0:25:36.240 --> 0:25:38.040
<v Speaker 2>agenda in her brain would like it to go a

0:25:38.080 --> 0:25:41.600
<v Speaker 2>certain way. And so this let them idea comes from

0:25:41.600 --> 0:25:45.399
<v Speaker 2>her relinquishing control on a rainy prom day and just

0:25:46.520 --> 0:25:49.919
<v Speaker 2>allowing something to not be perfect or to not be pristine,

0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:54.679
<v Speaker 2>and like letting this moment happen where the magic happens. Yeah,

0:25:54.720 --> 0:25:59.280
<v Speaker 2>so it's not as like, you know, polarizing as it

0:25:59.520 --> 0:26:01.280
<v Speaker 2>appears to be, and I do.

0:26:01.200 --> 0:26:03.320
<v Speaker 1>See where it can be helpful. I think it can

0:26:03.359 --> 0:26:06.199
<v Speaker 1>be helpful, especially for young girls, like stop trying to

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:09.919
<v Speaker 1>like the whole like the whole TikTok thing. That's like

0:26:09.920 --> 0:26:12.119
<v Speaker 1>stop trying to sit at other people's tables, you know

0:26:12.119 --> 0:26:14.240
<v Speaker 1>that where you're not Like, I understand that there is

0:26:14.280 --> 0:26:16.840
<v Speaker 1>a thing where that is helpful for young girls because

0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I've always struggled with that and my feelings still get

0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:21.880
<v Speaker 1>hurt so easily, And I do think that that can

0:26:22.000 --> 0:26:24.560
<v Speaker 1>be helpful. Yeah, in a way, I.

0:26:24.480 --> 0:26:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Think it's more of a tool unless it is like

0:26:26.640 --> 0:26:29.080
<v Speaker 2>a law to me, I'm like this is wonderful when

0:26:29.119 --> 0:26:31.320
<v Speaker 2>it fits, but there's times that's not going to fit.

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:32.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah for sure.

0:26:33.040 --> 0:26:36.080
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, like I've actually it was part of my

0:26:36.160 --> 0:26:39.760
<v Speaker 2>wine about it was the lack of gracious assumption that

0:26:39.840 --> 0:26:42.560
<v Speaker 2>people have. And I'm on the receiving end of that

0:26:42.680 --> 0:26:44.440
<v Speaker 2>right now because I'm in charge of a Daddy Daughter

0:26:44.520 --> 0:26:49.040
<v Speaker 2>dance that has grown three times its original amount, and

0:26:49.160 --> 0:26:52.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm hearing the rumor mill, even at a Sweet Little

0:26:52.240 --> 0:26:55.399
<v Speaker 2>Jesus School of like all these opinions that are just

0:26:55.400 --> 0:26:57.320
<v Speaker 2>flying about why is it on this night and why

0:26:57.359 --> 0:26:58.840
<v Speaker 2>is it that? And why is it this? And it's

0:26:58.880 --> 0:27:01.400
<v Speaker 2>like about thank you for organizing.

0:27:01.000 --> 0:27:03.199
<v Speaker 1>It and would you like to help? Yeah?

0:27:03.320 --> 0:27:06.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think that's like, so the whine about

0:27:06.880 --> 0:27:09.320
<v Speaker 2>it is me about people whining about it, But really,

0:27:09.320 --> 0:27:10.760
<v Speaker 2>I just had this moment this week where I'm like,

0:27:10.840 --> 0:27:14.679
<v Speaker 2>where is the and this is not me, Like, this

0:27:14.760 --> 0:27:17.160
<v Speaker 2>is not a heroic moment, but this is just case

0:27:17.200 --> 0:27:20.720
<v Speaker 2>and point. Like in corporate America, I went through trainings

0:27:20.760 --> 0:27:22.960
<v Speaker 2>where you if you're going to present a problem, you

0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:26.280
<v Speaker 2>have to present five solutions. Don't come to us without solutions.

0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:29.600
<v Speaker 2>So when the Daddy Daughter Dance originated for the Sweet School,

0:27:29.720 --> 0:27:32.400
<v Speaker 2>it was on a weekend. I had a broken hearted daughter.

0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:34.600
<v Speaker 2>She could not go because her dad has always gone

0:27:34.600 --> 0:27:37.600
<v Speaker 2>on the weekends. So I said to the school, if

0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:40.080
<v Speaker 2>there is an opportunity for me to step in and

0:27:40.840 --> 0:27:43.760
<v Speaker 2>the person wants to step down or anything anyway I

0:27:43.800 --> 0:27:47.119
<v Speaker 2>can help, I would gladly take on full responsibility if

0:27:47.119 --> 0:27:49.760
<v Speaker 2>I could shift it to a weekday. Daddy daughter dances

0:27:49.840 --> 0:27:52.680
<v Speaker 2>in school are on a weekday for ours at least

0:27:52.880 --> 0:27:56.200
<v Speaker 2>ours a Thursday or Friday. I don't even know that's

0:27:56.200 --> 0:27:58.760
<v Speaker 2>still that's yeah, there'sday. Friday was ours well. Also from

0:27:58.800 --> 0:28:01.119
<v Speaker 2>the former events part of me that it's a discounted rate,

0:28:01.160 --> 0:28:03.240
<v Speaker 2>so it's a smarter way for all of us. Anyway,

0:28:03.320 --> 0:28:06.680
<v Speaker 2>So I do it. The woman says, please take this great.

0:28:06.680 --> 0:28:09.159
<v Speaker 2>So I did it last year or whatever, but like

0:28:09.400 --> 0:28:12.280
<v Speaker 2>just no one else is like so like I did

0:28:12.320 --> 0:28:16.199
<v Speaker 2>that in order to create a solution. But there's just

0:28:16.240 --> 0:28:18.160
<v Speaker 2>a lot. I just I feel like we are living

0:28:18.200 --> 0:28:20.520
<v Speaker 2>in a culture and and part of me I went

0:28:20.560 --> 0:28:22.879
<v Speaker 2>all the way back in time, actually into the depths

0:28:22.920 --> 0:28:25.199
<v Speaker 2>of my upbringing, because I grew up with parents that

0:28:25.240 --> 0:28:29.359
<v Speaker 2>had opinions about everything everything. I remember leaving Thanksgiving and

0:28:29.400 --> 0:28:32.720
<v Speaker 2>hearing like the bashing of like every single family member

0:28:32.840 --> 0:28:36.200
<v Speaker 2>and just how like picking people apart. And so that's

0:28:36.359 --> 0:28:38.600
<v Speaker 2>ingrained in me a little too, and I'm doing my

0:28:38.800 --> 0:28:41.560
<v Speaker 2>very best too. I almost do it in ways to

0:28:41.600 --> 0:28:43.760
<v Speaker 2>protect myself. Like Kramer and I talk a lot about

0:28:43.800 --> 0:28:46.719
<v Speaker 2>like the bottom falling out, preparing yourself, whatever, But like

0:28:47.120 --> 0:28:52.720
<v Speaker 2>the over analyzing of everyone is like so toxic at

0:28:52.720 --> 0:28:54.920
<v Speaker 2>this point that I'm just going But we also just

0:28:55.000 --> 0:28:57.640
<v Speaker 2>have the society that's kind of like perpetuating it, and

0:28:57.680 --> 0:29:01.320
<v Speaker 2>that is driving me crazy. Yeah with that, And also

0:29:01.480 --> 0:29:03.760
<v Speaker 2>what's wild is if you actually try to have those

0:29:03.760 --> 0:29:06.440
<v Speaker 2>conversations face to face, the opinions changed pretty quickly, and

0:29:06.440 --> 0:29:09.480
<v Speaker 2>so does the tone. No, for sure, you know, like

0:29:09.560 --> 0:29:13.240
<v Speaker 2>if that like this, I actually got wind of the person,

0:29:13.320 --> 0:29:14.800
<v Speaker 2>so I just said, hey, I was like heard you

0:29:14.880 --> 0:29:16.320
<v Speaker 2>had an issue that it's on the Thursday night. I

0:29:16.440 --> 0:29:18.400
<v Speaker 2>just wanted to let you know, Like I don't feel

0:29:18.440 --> 0:29:20.440
<v Speaker 2>the need to explain myself, but I will let you

0:29:20.480 --> 0:29:22.200
<v Speaker 2>know just so that you can kind of maybe fill

0:29:22.200 --> 0:29:24.520
<v Speaker 2>in everybody else like this is these are the reasons.

0:29:25.240 --> 0:29:27.880
<v Speaker 2>And I said, and also selfishly, it's on the Thursday,

0:29:27.920 --> 0:29:31.640
<v Speaker 2>this Thursday, specifically because my husband's home and I want

0:29:31.680 --> 0:29:34.680
<v Speaker 2>him to be able to take her, and I'm happy

0:29:34.720 --> 0:29:36.080
<v Speaker 2>to hand it over if you want to do it

0:29:36.120 --> 0:29:38.040
<v Speaker 2>next year, because it's three hundred and fifty people now,

0:29:38.280 --> 0:29:41.320
<v Speaker 2>So knock yourself out, you know, like sweetly. Yeah, And

0:29:41.360 --> 0:29:43.280
<v Speaker 2>she goes, oh no, no, no, no, that wasn't it,

0:29:43.320 --> 0:29:44.840
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, maybe that wasn't it. Maybe it was

0:29:44.840 --> 0:29:47.480
<v Speaker 2>the rumor mo. But also like just a little blanket

0:29:47.480 --> 0:29:49.840
<v Speaker 2>of kindness for the love of Pete. Yeah, it's some

0:29:49.920 --> 0:29:51.480
<v Speaker 2>gracious assumption for people.

0:29:51.560 --> 0:29:53.720
<v Speaker 1>We're missing a lot of kindness in this world right now.

0:29:54.000 --> 0:29:56.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. It's like really making me sad. I assume the

0:29:56.760 --> 0:30:00.320
<v Speaker 2>best to detriment and then you've got people are just

0:30:00.360 --> 0:30:03.120
<v Speaker 2>assuming the worst automatically. It's like, okay, chick, I was

0:30:03.120 --> 0:30:05.640
<v Speaker 2>talking to a girlfriend earlier today on my run and

0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:11.040
<v Speaker 2>we were saying, how wait, you're talking while you're running?

0:30:09.200 --> 0:30:13.160
<v Speaker 2>Stop are you guys? I like to chat. I don't know.

0:30:13.160 --> 0:30:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing that because it keeps it going. But opposite,

0:30:15.840 --> 0:30:17.760
<v Speaker 2>by the way, for me, I feel like a lot

0:30:17.800 --> 0:30:20.880
<v Speaker 2>of people will start the conversations going into it heated

0:30:21.000 --> 0:30:24.920
<v Speaker 2>and angry, but really, you know that might be the

0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:28.080
<v Speaker 2>person might like you just said, oh no, it wasn't

0:30:28.080 --> 0:30:29.960
<v Speaker 2>like that. Now, whether it was or it wasn't, maybe

0:30:30.000 --> 0:30:31.920
<v Speaker 2>you should change your tune in the in the middle of it.

0:30:31.960 --> 0:30:34.880
<v Speaker 2>But at least if you started heated, there's it isn't.

0:30:34.920 --> 0:30:36.840
<v Speaker 2>We don't need to start heated. That's something that I've

0:30:36.920 --> 0:30:41.760
<v Speaker 2>learned too, where it's people to not go straight aggressive

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:45.440
<v Speaker 2>with the with the first conversation. Yeah, that's something I've learned.

0:30:45.480 --> 0:30:47.200
<v Speaker 2>Just like old and I even started to day, I

0:30:47.240 --> 0:30:50.360
<v Speaker 2>would go, I would have sent that text message that

0:30:50.400 --> 0:30:54.000
<v Speaker 2>I've been drafting last night right off the get. Yeah,

0:30:54.280 --> 0:30:58.000
<v Speaker 2>but I'm still waiting. Are we talking about that? Not yet? Okay,

0:30:58.600 --> 0:31:00.640
<v Speaker 2>we're going to post that one. Yeah, that's a good

0:31:00.640 --> 0:31:02.840
<v Speaker 2>one though, to pin I think smart.

0:31:02.520 --> 0:31:04.880
<v Speaker 1>To Yeah, that's hard for me. I struggle with that. Yeah,

0:31:04.960 --> 0:31:07.640
<v Speaker 1>I need to hold back sometimes and wait, Well.

0:31:07.520 --> 0:31:10.640
<v Speaker 2>I will also. And I'm not blaming let me part,

0:31:10.720 --> 0:31:13.680
<v Speaker 2>not let that the hormones part. And I'm not blaming this,

0:31:13.880 --> 0:31:18.400
<v Speaker 2>but this perimid apousal period is harder to bite my

0:31:18.440 --> 0:31:20.040
<v Speaker 2>tongue or to be slow to speak, or to wait

0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:24.320
<v Speaker 2>twenty four hours, and it's a very hijacking kind of feeling.

0:31:24.760 --> 0:31:26.440
<v Speaker 1>I just feel like I'm getting older and I'm like

0:31:26.480 --> 0:31:27.400
<v Speaker 1>over all the bullshit.

0:31:27.600 --> 0:31:27.880
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:31:28.440 --> 0:31:31.840
<v Speaker 1>So if that is I'm old chicken or egg, let's

0:31:32.000 --> 0:31:35.080
<v Speaker 1>just let's have here now and decide what we want

0:31:35.120 --> 0:31:37.160
<v Speaker 1>to do and move on. Like I just don't know.

0:31:37.400 --> 0:31:39.760
<v Speaker 2>That's where I'm atah, which is what it's like. I

0:31:39.800 --> 0:31:42.640
<v Speaker 2>don't I don't want any Yeah, I did it yesterday, Jean,

0:31:42.680 --> 0:31:44.680
<v Speaker 2>it's just too old for this. I did it yesterday,

0:31:44.680 --> 0:31:45.920
<v Speaker 2>and I woke up this morning and I was like, girl,

0:31:46.000 --> 0:31:46.960
<v Speaker 2>should you have saidled that?

0:31:48.240 --> 0:31:49.840
<v Speaker 1>Dang it.

0:32:01.240 --> 0:32:04.680
<v Speaker 2>Caitlin Bristow Slam's ex Jason Kardik for using her dream

0:32:04.720 --> 0:32:07.280
<v Speaker 2>baby name for his dog name. I'm making this clear,

0:32:07.360 --> 0:32:09.640
<v Speaker 2>she says. It's not that I'm not over him, she said,

0:32:09.640 --> 0:32:11.520
<v Speaker 2>but to get a dog and name that dog my

0:32:11.600 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 2>dream baby name that I've had in my baby names

0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:16.720
<v Speaker 2>for ten years. I even had a text saying to him,

0:32:17.000 --> 0:32:19.840
<v Speaker 2>I said, you know, I want to name my baby Teddy.

0:32:20.800 --> 0:32:23.520
<v Speaker 2>And you know, She's like, I know, I seem very angry,

0:32:23.520 --> 0:32:25.640
<v Speaker 2>but it's more like I don't feel I don't like

0:32:25.680 --> 0:32:28.560
<v Speaker 2>feeling disrespected, she added, and I feel like a lot

0:32:28.560 --> 0:32:31.400
<v Speaker 2>of people are going after her right now, you know,

0:32:31.480 --> 0:32:34.560
<v Speaker 2>making her feel bad about saying that, and everyone's like.

0:32:34.800 --> 0:32:36.840
<v Speaker 2>What I don't like reading, first of all, is how

0:32:36.880 --> 0:32:39.480
<v Speaker 2>many women go and attack women in the comment section.

0:32:39.560 --> 0:32:42.800
<v Speaker 2>That's one thing I just I you know, I'll look

0:32:42.800 --> 0:32:44.800
<v Speaker 2>at the US weeklies, But the comments is what makes

0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:47.800
<v Speaker 2>me the saddest thing of all seeing how many women

0:32:48.080 --> 0:32:50.880
<v Speaker 2>talk crap on the women in those comments, being like

0:32:51.040 --> 0:32:54.200
<v Speaker 2>Teddy is a common dog name, and this, that and

0:32:54.240 --> 0:32:56.520
<v Speaker 2>the other and get over it, and you know why

0:32:56.520 --> 0:32:59.080
<v Speaker 2>are you still talking about it? Well, because it's hurtful. Yeah,

0:32:59.120 --> 0:33:01.720
<v Speaker 2>And like a woman I have had. I had Jolie

0:33:02.720 --> 0:33:05.640
<v Speaker 2>as my baby girl name since I was in my

0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:09.760
<v Speaker 2>early twenties. Jolie was so if if Mike and I

0:33:09.880 --> 0:33:13.640
<v Speaker 2>ended up, you know, staying broken up when you know

0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:15.360
<v Speaker 2>she did the first time or whatever, and then he

0:33:15.440 --> 0:33:18.520
<v Speaker 2>named his daughter Jolie, I would be pissed, furious. That

0:33:18.600 --> 0:33:21.240
<v Speaker 2>is my name that I have had for years. Almost

0:33:21.360 --> 0:33:24.160
<v Speaker 2>worse that it's a dog. Well, that's where I feel

0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:25.680
<v Speaker 2>like it might be a little dig to her. And

0:33:25.680 --> 0:33:29.520
<v Speaker 2>that's IBOs a dig. Yeah, I mean I don't think.

0:33:29.640 --> 0:33:31.280
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to believe that.

0:33:31.240 --> 0:33:35.680
<v Speaker 2>But like that, there's a gazillion other names, and I personally.

0:33:35.320 --> 0:33:37.560
<v Speaker 1>Claim it dog name. There's a lot of common dog names.

0:33:37.560 --> 0:33:41.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know another petty that was not petty and

0:33:41.240 --> 0:33:43.200
<v Speaker 1>a dig at her. I'm sorry, I don't I would

0:33:43.200 --> 0:33:45.720
<v Speaker 1>not believe that in the least. You're not in a

0:33:45.760 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 1>relationship not know a baby name and name.

0:33:47.600 --> 0:33:50.040
<v Speaker 2>Your dog that, and that's a vulnerable space when a

0:33:50.080 --> 0:33:55.000
<v Speaker 2>woman is talking baby names said, that's vulnerable and that's

0:33:55.040 --> 0:33:57.880
<v Speaker 2>like dear diary kind of stuff that on purpose. I'm sorry,

0:33:57.960 --> 0:34:00.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. So I so don't want to belie

0:34:00.120 --> 0:34:04.720
<v Speaker 2>leave that that that's you know, I want to believe

0:34:04.760 --> 0:34:08.400
<v Speaker 2>that he forgot because men are like, you know, they

0:34:08.520 --> 0:34:11.600
<v Speaker 2>forget things, and like maybe he didn't.

0:34:11.440 --> 0:34:12.640
<v Speaker 1>A crazy coincidence.

0:34:12.640 --> 0:34:14.560
<v Speaker 2>Well but I know, but that's the piece. But again,

0:34:14.600 --> 0:34:18.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm good on coming to her. I just was

0:34:18.440 --> 0:34:20.480
<v Speaker 2>like devils. I'm like, maybe, but I'm coming to her

0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:23.520
<v Speaker 2>depends on one thousand percent no matter what, Like that's

0:34:23.520 --> 0:34:23.960
<v Speaker 2>messed up.

0:34:24.000 --> 0:34:24.520
<v Speaker 1>It just hurts.

0:34:25.040 --> 0:34:28.279
<v Speaker 2>Has he commented it all? I don't know. So I

0:34:28.320 --> 0:34:30.520
<v Speaker 2>will say this one thing that I do think, because

0:34:30.840 --> 0:34:33.279
<v Speaker 2>life is noisy in socials and we're just inundated from

0:34:33.280 --> 0:34:35.480
<v Speaker 2>like every angle a thousand times, is like sometimes I

0:34:35.480 --> 0:34:37.719
<v Speaker 2>think we hear things and then don't even realize maybe

0:34:37.760 --> 0:34:39.840
<v Speaker 2>we heard it, so that would be my gracious assumption.

0:34:40.000 --> 0:34:43.040
<v Speaker 2>That is Teddy just pinned back in his brain somewhere

0:34:43.080 --> 0:34:45.120
<v Speaker 2>and then was like, Oh, that's a cute name. I

0:34:45.160 --> 0:34:48.840
<v Speaker 2>just don't think you forget talking about baby, do you

0:34:48.920 --> 0:34:52.160
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean? Like, for example, you know, if

0:34:52.680 --> 0:34:55.880
<v Speaker 2>Alan and I were to have a girl, one of

0:34:55.920 --> 0:34:58.200
<v Speaker 2>the girl names that Mike and I had was Charlie.

0:34:58.760 --> 0:35:00.719
<v Speaker 2>If we had a girl, I I would have never

0:35:00.840 --> 0:35:04.000
<v Speaker 2>named the girl Charlie because that was mine and Mike's

0:35:04.080 --> 0:35:06.160
<v Speaker 2>yeah baby's name, you know what I mean. But even so,

0:35:07.160 --> 0:35:13.279
<v Speaker 2>you know, Jolie, Like I just I think it's I mean,

0:35:13.480 --> 0:35:16.440
<v Speaker 2>this is gonna sound hypocritical now that I say this,

0:35:16.520 --> 0:35:18.600
<v Speaker 2>but like I feel like she should still be able

0:35:18.640 --> 0:35:21.040
<v Speaker 2>to use that because it's the woman in the name

0:35:21.120 --> 0:35:22.880
<v Speaker 2>of the baby that she's always wanted to use. Like,

0:35:22.880 --> 0:35:24.279
<v Speaker 2>no matter who I end up with, even if I

0:35:24.320 --> 0:35:25.719
<v Speaker 2>told one dude that I was dating, I want a

0:35:25.760 --> 0:35:28.360
<v Speaker 2>name her baby. Jolie. I'm naming probably someone's baby or

0:35:28.480 --> 0:35:30.239
<v Speaker 2>the baby Joy cause that's my name I've always had.

0:35:30.400 --> 0:35:32.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah it was your name, now guy had.

0:35:32.680 --> 0:35:36.560
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, she looks ridiculous because she's naming her child

0:35:37.080 --> 0:35:38.919
<v Speaker 1>the same thing as her ex'es dog.

0:35:39.719 --> 0:35:41.239
<v Speaker 2>Well, which is so messed up because that's not fair,

0:35:41.239 --> 0:35:41.799
<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm saying.

0:35:41.840 --> 0:35:43.839
<v Speaker 1>So, yeah, we had they not talked about this, think

0:35:43.840 --> 0:35:45.799
<v Speaker 1>about that, had they not talked about this? She let

0:35:45.880 --> 0:35:47.759
<v Speaker 1>it go, but like that's her name. Now she can't

0:35:48.080 --> 0:35:50.480
<v Speaker 1>name her if she either she can't do it or

0:35:50.520 --> 0:35:52.520
<v Speaker 1>she names her child that and everyone's like, oh my god,

0:35:52.600 --> 0:35:55.279
<v Speaker 1>she named her child the same thing as her ex'es dog.

0:35:55.320 --> 0:35:56.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, now she's like, now she can't do it.

0:35:57.040 --> 0:35:59.719
<v Speaker 2>But I just hate thinking up about it and I

0:35:59.760 --> 0:36:04.960
<v Speaker 2>hate them going after you know, yeah, okay, ladies. The

0:36:05.000 --> 0:36:08.760
<v Speaker 2>White Lotus storyline sparks debate. I'm the fate of three

0:36:08.840 --> 0:36:13.799
<v Speaker 2>person friend groups. The question is what do you think

0:36:13.840 --> 0:36:17.319
<v Speaker 2>of this? And do you think do you think a

0:36:17.400 --> 0:36:21.040
<v Speaker 2>three person friend group can survive? And I hate to

0:36:21.080 --> 0:36:24.960
<v Speaker 2>say the answer no, because I think we work great,

0:36:25.080 --> 0:36:27.920
<v Speaker 2>but I don't think it's a good thing. I outside

0:36:27.960 --> 0:36:30.680
<v Speaker 2>of us, was really trying to wrack my brain for

0:36:30.800 --> 0:36:33.080
<v Speaker 2>a three person friend group I have that works like this.

0:36:34.160 --> 0:36:36.319
<v Speaker 1>My young trauma says absolutely.

0:36:35.800 --> 0:36:39.480
<v Speaker 3>Not absolutely marry and then.

0:36:39.360 --> 0:36:44.880
<v Speaker 1>Me Kristin and Ashley and me not this Kristin, Nope,

0:36:44.960 --> 0:36:48.959
<v Speaker 1>it was terrible and it's not working for my middle

0:36:49.000 --> 0:36:49.600
<v Speaker 1>school or either.

0:36:49.840 --> 0:36:52.319
<v Speaker 2>So no, which doesn't work for my daughter either because

0:36:52.320 --> 0:36:54.160
<v Speaker 2>it's you know, it's her the two friends and then

0:36:54.239 --> 0:36:56.839
<v Speaker 2>Jolie in the neighborhood. So I'm like, honey, never it's

0:36:56.880 --> 0:36:59.320
<v Speaker 2>like gott to go in twos or fours urias, you

0:36:59.360 --> 0:37:02.800
<v Speaker 2>will always get left out. Yeah, we actually love this.

0:37:03.239 --> 0:37:08.840
<v Speaker 1>I do think as adults that are new friends. As adults,

0:37:09.640 --> 0:37:13.239
<v Speaker 1>I do think it can work. I mean, I think

0:37:13.600 --> 0:37:18.799
<v Speaker 1>you know. I mean, we're not all like y'all are

0:37:18.840 --> 0:37:22.160
<v Speaker 1>closer than like me and you are no cat, That's okay,

0:37:22.280 --> 0:37:23.080
<v Speaker 1>that's not a bad thing.

0:37:23.400 --> 0:37:26.040
<v Speaker 2>I really like our relationship, with our relationship, Kristen.

0:37:26.239 --> 0:37:26.680
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:37:26.719 --> 0:37:29.280
<v Speaker 2>So I thought I would be this close to you, Kat.

0:37:29.400 --> 0:37:33.000
<v Speaker 2>But what I'm saying, I will agree, but you guys

0:37:33.040 --> 0:37:33.600
<v Speaker 2>are closer.

0:37:33.920 --> 0:37:36.880
<v Speaker 1>This isn't bad. I'm saying that you guys.

0:37:36.239 --> 0:37:37.399
<v Speaker 2>You're closer than we are.

0:37:38.080 --> 0:37:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Exactly, Yes, exactly, I think.

0:37:40.560 --> 0:37:43.319
<v Speaker 2>You guys are closer than Kramer and dynamics like that.

0:37:43.840 --> 0:37:45.200
<v Speaker 2>What are we proving.

0:37:44.880 --> 0:37:45.680
<v Speaker 1>This theory right now?

0:37:47.480 --> 0:37:50.360
<v Speaker 3>She goes, we're closer than we are.

0:37:52.080 --> 0:37:52.960
<v Speaker 1>And you got offended.

0:37:53.160 --> 0:38:00.680
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't know. This is why we are, but

0:38:00.760 --> 0:38:04.319
<v Speaker 2>I guess we're proving no, no, hey, we totally work.

0:38:04.640 --> 0:38:08.160
<v Speaker 2>She was, hey, hey, hey, hey, here's the deal because

0:38:08.239 --> 0:38:10.160
<v Speaker 2>when I say some of the best, we all define we.

0:38:10.239 --> 0:38:14.040
<v Speaker 1>Are good or we are.

0:38:14.520 --> 0:38:16.799
<v Speaker 2>I think we are close on different reasons, like we

0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:21.480
<v Speaker 2>have a longer friendship obviously, you know. Yeah, we are

0:38:21.520 --> 0:38:23.880
<v Speaker 2>close on different things. We are close on different things,

0:38:23.960 --> 0:38:26.840
<v Speaker 2>and I don't think there is a true you know

0:38:26.880 --> 0:38:30.560
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, Like and we're both there for each other, yep,

0:38:30.680 --> 0:38:33.480
<v Speaker 2>no matter what. But there are different places where we're

0:38:33.520 --> 0:38:35.320
<v Speaker 2>closer than each other one hundred percent.

0:38:35.400 --> 0:38:38.239
<v Speaker 1>And I think that that's understood very well by all

0:38:38.320 --> 0:38:41.680
<v Speaker 1>of us. Like I expect y'all to have certain conversations

0:38:41.760 --> 0:38:43.920
<v Speaker 1>that y'all aren't going to come to me on one

0:38:44.000 --> 0:38:46.799
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent. I expect us to have different conversations that

0:38:46.840 --> 0:38:48.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to go to you on.

0:38:48.239 --> 0:38:48.480
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:38:48.560 --> 0:38:51.719
<v Speaker 1>It's just so I think it can work, and I

0:38:51.760 --> 0:38:57.359
<v Speaker 1>think that that's a good example. But in theory, it's

0:38:57.480 --> 0:38:58.600
<v Speaker 1>usually not a great thing.

0:38:58.800 --> 0:39:01.040
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't think a level of I think, yeah, because

0:39:01.040 --> 0:39:04.640
<v Speaker 2>look at White Lotus for example. I remember, did you

0:39:04.680 --> 0:39:05.400
<v Speaker 2>watch this season?

0:39:05.480 --> 0:39:06.320
<v Speaker 1>Is this the new season?

0:39:06.360 --> 0:39:09.560
<v Speaker 2>Season three? Yeah? With Michelle on hand Unleslie. It's so good,

0:39:09.760 --> 0:39:11.840
<v Speaker 2>but it's you know, the three girls go on vacation

0:39:11.880 --> 0:39:13.799
<v Speaker 2>and I said, oh, this is going to end them

0:39:13.800 --> 0:39:15.600
<v Speaker 2>all fighting. You could just tell like they were like,

0:39:15.600 --> 0:39:17.919
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, we haven't been done this in so long.

0:39:18.000 --> 0:39:21.239
<v Speaker 2>It's been forever. And then it's you know, oh, did

0:39:21.239 --> 0:39:23.480
<v Speaker 2>you hear that she voted for Trump? Oh did you hear?

0:39:23.719 --> 0:39:26.680
<v Speaker 2>Did you hear that? Like? How is she cheating on

0:39:26.719 --> 0:39:28.880
<v Speaker 2>this person? It's so they started to kind of like

0:39:28.920 --> 0:39:30.960
<v Speaker 2>when they were one on one, they started to then

0:39:31.000 --> 0:39:33.520
<v Speaker 2>talk about the other person, you know, and then it's

0:39:33.560 --> 0:39:36.600
<v Speaker 2>like that that dynamic of all and then it's like

0:39:36.640 --> 0:39:38.960
<v Speaker 2>who's closer to the one person, who's closer to Michelle,

0:39:38.960 --> 0:39:42.440
<v Speaker 2>who's closer you know? And then it's yeah, it's all

0:39:42.480 --> 0:39:43.040
<v Speaker 2>that that's funny.

0:39:43.040 --> 0:39:43.960
<v Speaker 1>I'll have to watch that.

0:39:44.080 --> 0:39:46.680
<v Speaker 2>I think the difference for us, at least I know

0:39:46.800 --> 0:39:52.040
<v Speaker 2>from my seat Dangerous Territory we're getting as close as well.

0:39:52.080 --> 0:39:53.880
<v Speaker 2>I just know because you guys have known each other longer.

0:39:53.880 --> 0:39:56.759
<v Speaker 2>But like I mean, Janna and I holy Matt curled it.

0:39:59.200 --> 0:40:02.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean that just for my relationship with Cramer, the

0:40:02.160 --> 0:40:04.799
<v Speaker 2>things that she has been in on with me. Okay,

0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:07.839
<v Speaker 2>but I was going to say, like I think that

0:40:07.920 --> 0:40:11.000
<v Speaker 2>if it's ever if one of us has ever talked

0:40:11.000 --> 0:40:14.400
<v Speaker 2>about when we're not in the room, it's always in again,

0:40:14.719 --> 0:40:18.520
<v Speaker 2>that kind of like umbrella of like loving and caring

0:40:18.560 --> 0:40:23.040
<v Speaker 2>about someone like I have never experienced from either of you.

0:40:23.040 --> 0:40:28.719
<v Speaker 2>You talking talking about either of you without like the

0:40:28.760 --> 0:40:32.799
<v Speaker 2>highest regard or like you know, like or like a concern. Now, yeah,

0:40:32.840 --> 0:40:36.120
<v Speaker 2>like Pat and I talked when the divorce was happening, Yeah, sure,

0:40:36.160 --> 0:40:37.799
<v Speaker 2>outside of you like what are we going to do?

0:40:37.920 --> 0:40:39.880
<v Speaker 2>How are we going to do this? We do like

0:40:40.880 --> 0:40:43.200
<v Speaker 2>not all the time, but like but in a way

0:40:43.239 --> 0:40:46.680
<v Speaker 2>that if you read that, you'd be like these girls

0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:50.640
<v Speaker 2>had my back, yeah, you know, but also going like okay,

0:40:50.640 --> 0:40:53.080
<v Speaker 2>we need a minute to like sidebar and just out

0:40:53.120 --> 0:40:55.440
<v Speaker 2>of protection or like what's the plan or like you know,

0:40:55.480 --> 0:40:57.920
<v Speaker 2>what's really going on? Like your boots on the ground

0:40:57.920 --> 0:40:59.120
<v Speaker 2>and I well.

0:40:59.000 --> 0:41:02.360
<v Speaker 1>And she was you're our glue. I mean like we're why,

0:41:02.400 --> 0:41:05.000
<v Speaker 1>You're why we came together. So I feel like that's

0:41:05.040 --> 0:41:06.840
<v Speaker 1>when me and you kind of got closer. It was

0:41:06.880 --> 0:41:08.080
<v Speaker 1>like what are we going to do for her?

0:41:08.160 --> 0:41:10.800
<v Speaker 2>I think they actually by definition is called trauma bonding.

0:41:11.920 --> 0:41:14.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah, it's crazy, So you trauma bonded us.

0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:16.920
<v Speaker 2>But like even when we travel, you like to go

0:41:17.040 --> 0:41:18.080
<v Speaker 2>do the gym in the morning.

0:41:18.400 --> 0:41:20.799
<v Speaker 1>I stay into emails. Oh wait, we do breakfast.

0:41:21.000 --> 0:41:21.239
<v Speaker 2>Cut.

0:41:21.360 --> 0:41:23.280
<v Speaker 1>I almost stipp to prevent it. I know it's coming.

0:41:23.320 --> 0:41:24.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry we do breakfast.

0:41:25.120 --> 0:41:27.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like, I just I think it's about maturity in

0:41:27.800 --> 0:41:29.480
<v Speaker 2>the way that we all know what we need and

0:41:29.520 --> 0:41:31.919
<v Speaker 2>we all love each other so fully that like that's

0:41:31.960 --> 0:41:34.359
<v Speaker 2>why it can work that way, and we know when

0:41:34.360 --> 0:41:36.000
<v Speaker 2>to protect each other even when we've been out on

0:41:36.040 --> 0:41:39.520
<v Speaker 2>the road and we've breached topics on stage and we

0:41:39.600 --> 0:41:41.360
<v Speaker 2>have seen the look, we're like and that's good and

0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:56.960
<v Speaker 2>we protect each other. Yeah. Yeah, Has there ever been

0:41:57.000 --> 0:42:01.400
<v Speaker 2>a point though in this trio that someone's felt left out?

0:42:01.800 --> 0:42:03.960
<v Speaker 2>Now we know the joking of that one piece, but

0:42:04.000 --> 0:42:05.960
<v Speaker 2>has it left out though? Right? But has there has

0:42:06.000 --> 0:42:08.560
<v Speaker 2>there ever been a point where you have felt left

0:42:08.560 --> 0:42:12.160
<v Speaker 2>out or you felt left out or I could feel

0:42:12.200 --> 0:42:17.920
<v Speaker 2>left out, but I don't. Okay, tell fair, are we

0:42:18.120 --> 0:42:19.520
<v Speaker 2>further proving than it's doomed?

0:42:20.560 --> 0:42:22.880
<v Speaker 1>But I'm gonna need to know no, just because.

0:42:22.640 --> 0:42:25.319
<v Speaker 2>Of like managerial wise, like you guys have friends long,

0:42:25.400 --> 0:42:27.520
<v Speaker 2>we have a whole friend group that I only know

0:42:27.719 --> 0:42:30.840
<v Speaker 2>of through you. But so yeah, like I'm not tied

0:42:30.880 --> 0:42:33.799
<v Speaker 2>to glue, you know from that. Yeah, well you're my

0:42:33.840 --> 0:42:37.960
<v Speaker 2>Sarah Brice Glue. Like they're like, it's all yeah, but

0:42:38.040 --> 0:42:40.839
<v Speaker 2>I don't. But again, I also just know y'all love

0:42:40.920 --> 0:42:43.640
<v Speaker 2>me like I wouldn't and if it really ever hurt

0:42:43.640 --> 0:42:45.160
<v Speaker 2>my feelings, I would say it and I know that

0:42:45.239 --> 0:42:47.879
<v Speaker 2>you would feel sad and so yeah, but I don't.

0:42:48.000 --> 0:42:50.400
<v Speaker 2>I've never heard whatever I ever have talked about each

0:42:50.440 --> 0:42:52.919
<v Speaker 2>other because we have, right, it's all based out of love,

0:42:53.760 --> 0:42:56.040
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, Like when you could really

0:42:56.360 --> 0:42:58.000
<v Speaker 2>like I just wish she would get the help that

0:42:58.040 --> 0:42:59.960
<v Speaker 2>she deserves and needs, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,

0:43:00.080 --> 0:43:02.360
<v Speaker 2>so it's like when we do talk, Yeah, it is

0:43:02.400 --> 0:43:04.359
<v Speaker 2>based out of love. Like there's never any time where

0:43:04.440 --> 0:43:06.319
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't want you to, Like you could scroll through

0:43:06.320 --> 0:43:09.000
<v Speaker 2>my phone and I can be like, well I said

0:43:09.000 --> 0:43:12.759
<v Speaker 2>that because this, you know, trust and.

0:43:12.840 --> 0:43:16.040
<v Speaker 1>Maturity cannot think of And I am probably the most

0:43:16.080 --> 0:43:18.919
<v Speaker 1>sensitive on this in this room. I think you think

0:43:18.960 --> 0:43:22.600
<v Speaker 1>Sondred percent ask her, really, this might be.

0:43:22.520 --> 0:43:25.359
<v Speaker 2>The first time I've never been the motive that you're

0:43:25.360 --> 0:43:28.880
<v Speaker 2>the most emotional, But she's the most sensitive. That's very different.

0:43:29.680 --> 0:43:33.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, now that now that's the most up and down

0:43:33.680 --> 0:43:34.120
<v Speaker 3>of them all.

0:43:34.239 --> 0:43:37.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, but I can truly not think of

0:43:37.719 --> 0:43:40.520
<v Speaker 1>a time with us three that I've felt left out.

0:43:40.680 --> 0:43:44.200
<v Speaker 1>I have felt left out of group things before, but

0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:47.560
<v Speaker 1>it has as a whole several times. But that has

0:43:47.680 --> 0:43:51.000
<v Speaker 1>never been something out of this group. It's never been

0:43:51.000 --> 0:43:53.839
<v Speaker 1>something that you've been doing or something that you've been doing.

0:43:53.920 --> 0:43:55.879
<v Speaker 1>It's been again unintentional.

0:43:55.920 --> 0:43:59.399
<v Speaker 2>Probably there's a maturity you have because I remember even

0:43:59.600 --> 0:44:03.600
<v Speaker 2>I feeling is get hurt. No no, no, oh oh okay,

0:44:03.840 --> 0:44:04.960
<v Speaker 2>oh no, my feelings got hurt.

0:44:04.960 --> 0:44:05.960
<v Speaker 1>I tryed to her every time.

0:44:06.360 --> 0:44:09.480
<v Speaker 2>But like I remember even the first time, this is

0:44:09.520 --> 0:44:12.320
<v Speaker 2>actually like pretty like this is in my brain, stuck

0:44:12.320 --> 0:44:14.120
<v Speaker 2>in my brain. That's how I know. Like it was

0:44:14.160 --> 0:44:16.560
<v Speaker 2>a moment where I just like saw you differently and

0:44:16.719 --> 0:44:19.959
<v Speaker 2>like mature where I was. We were talking about Love's

0:44:19.960 --> 0:44:23.000
<v Speaker 2>birthday party years ago. Oh yeah, and you're like, i'll

0:44:23.040 --> 0:44:24.960
<v Speaker 2>see you later at Love's birthday parties.

0:44:25.080 --> 0:44:26.239
<v Speaker 1>One did yeah that was hard.

0:44:26.600 --> 0:44:30.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, well you didn't act like it so hard

0:44:30.640 --> 0:44:32.480
<v Speaker 2>for me. So then I was like, oh, I was

0:44:32.480 --> 0:44:34.520
<v Speaker 2>like yeah, and then you go, well I see you

0:44:34.560 --> 0:44:36.879
<v Speaker 2>there and you were like, no, no, no, no, we don't

0:44:36.920 --> 0:44:39.760
<v Speaker 2>invite each other to our kids' birthday parties. That's really

0:44:39.840 --> 0:44:43.520
<v Speaker 2>that's that's me. And I was like defense mechanism, Well

0:44:43.840 --> 0:44:44.760
<v Speaker 2>that was one of the moments.

0:44:45.080 --> 0:44:46.719
<v Speaker 1>So glad that you thought I was mature. I am

0:44:46.760 --> 0:44:49.919
<v Speaker 1>actually the least mature in those situations, if I'm being

0:44:50.040 --> 0:44:51.640
<v Speaker 1>completely honest.

0:44:51.719 --> 0:44:55.120
<v Speaker 2>Right now, we've also we're coming into that age where

0:44:55.160 --> 0:44:58.439
<v Speaker 2>like the kids are picking there and it's less about

0:44:58.480 --> 0:44:59.360
<v Speaker 2>who we want.

0:44:59.160 --> 0:45:02.440
<v Speaker 1>There a hundred like I know that my.

0:45:02.560 --> 0:45:06.040
<v Speaker 2>Cat, you you really presented well, I have to tell

0:45:06.080 --> 0:45:07.080
<v Speaker 2>you to the.

0:45:08.920 --> 0:45:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Probably knows.

0:45:10.320 --> 0:45:12.879
<v Speaker 2>This is one of those times. Well this is why

0:45:12.960 --> 0:45:15.440
<v Speaker 2>so the other so last week when we got done podcasting,

0:45:16.400 --> 0:45:18.120
<v Speaker 2>I know I've mentioned the sauna.

0:45:17.760 --> 0:45:20.880
<v Speaker 3>Thing to you, but I was like, it's because I

0:45:20.920 --> 0:45:21.200
<v Speaker 3>was like.

0:45:21.160 --> 0:45:22.440
<v Speaker 2>We were going in the sauna, and I was like,

0:45:22.440 --> 0:45:24.560
<v Speaker 2>I didn't actually say hey because we were on the

0:45:24.560 --> 0:45:26.120
<v Speaker 2>phone talking about I was like, oh after because I

0:45:26.160 --> 0:45:28.120
<v Speaker 2>was on the treadmill and running or whatever, and I

0:45:28.160 --> 0:45:29.720
<v Speaker 2>was like, hey, after this, I'm gonna you know, sauna.

0:45:30.040 --> 0:45:31.839
<v Speaker 2>You're like, oh, shoot, I'd love to, and so we'll

0:45:31.880 --> 0:45:34.200
<v Speaker 2>just do after the podcast. But then I didn't even

0:45:34.200 --> 0:45:36.040
<v Speaker 2>though I've mentioned it to Kat, but I didn't mention

0:45:36.160 --> 0:45:38.279
<v Speaker 2>that we were like we were sonning. So when we

0:45:38.280 --> 0:45:41.040
<v Speaker 2>were going downstairs, I was like, because I was like,

0:45:41.040 --> 0:45:42.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't want her not to feel left out, right,

0:45:43.200 --> 0:45:43.760
<v Speaker 2>you want sauna?

0:45:43.920 --> 0:45:47.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah you know? I was like, I know that, Like I.

0:45:47.320 --> 0:45:50.239
<v Speaker 2>The threes, the three that's right there, the threes. So

0:45:50.280 --> 0:45:54.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm emotional and oblivious. Okay voted most likely I.

0:45:54.160 --> 0:45:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Thought you were oblivious. I try to act like it

0:45:56.600 --> 0:45:59.640
<v Speaker 1>doesn't bother me, but I know her well enough to know,

0:45:59.680 --> 0:46:02.279
<v Speaker 1>and she just knows. You guys are closing. And then

0:46:02.320 --> 0:46:03.880
<v Speaker 1>I'll cry, it's fine.

0:46:03.600 --> 0:46:05.920
<v Speaker 2>Because we're closer. There you go, Okay, Okay.

0:46:05.680 --> 0:46:07.040
<v Speaker 1>So we just really proved that theory.

0:46:07.040 --> 0:46:09.200
<v Speaker 2>Moving on to my three wind down ladies, you've helped

0:46:09.200 --> 0:46:11.400
<v Speaker 2>me through so many tough moments in my life and

0:46:11.480 --> 0:46:14.240
<v Speaker 2>continue to do just that. I'm currently trying to navigate

0:46:14.280 --> 0:46:16.960
<v Speaker 2>through a tough relationship with my partner while also being postpartum,

0:46:17.239 --> 0:46:20.600
<v Speaker 2>and boy, it's a rollercoaster. There has been some broken

0:46:20.640 --> 0:46:22.880
<v Speaker 2>trust in our relationship on his part, and it started

0:46:22.880 --> 0:46:25.680
<v Speaker 2>with him just making inappropriate comments about other women in

0:46:25.680 --> 0:46:29.200
<v Speaker 2>front of me, which made something in my gut tell

0:46:29.239 --> 0:46:31.919
<v Speaker 2>me to look through his phone. Oh MAKEE sick. Long

0:46:31.920 --> 0:46:34.520
<v Speaker 2>story short, there was something there every time I looked,

0:46:34.520 --> 0:46:38.600
<v Speaker 2>from videos and pictures of onlyfan girls to actual messages

0:46:38.640 --> 0:46:42.960
<v Speaker 2>to some women and even meeting inappropriate women, went out

0:46:42.960 --> 0:46:45.279
<v Speaker 2>with his friends and adding them on social media. I

0:46:45.320 --> 0:46:47.720
<v Speaker 2>heard him out and tried to move past it because

0:46:47.760 --> 0:46:50.560
<v Speaker 2>there was no because there were no messages about him

0:46:50.560 --> 0:46:52.720
<v Speaker 2>actually meeting up with any of these women that I saw.

0:46:52.840 --> 0:46:54.959
<v Speaker 2>And at the time, I was also pregnant and didn't

0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:57.040
<v Speaker 2>want to make and didn't make that much money, so

0:46:57.120 --> 0:47:00.120
<v Speaker 2>that comes with its own set of fears. Fast forward today,

0:47:00.160 --> 0:47:01.840
<v Speaker 2>my son is ten months old. There's a lack of

0:47:01.840 --> 0:47:05.880
<v Speaker 2>intimacy and respect, including verbal disrespect at times. He's changed

0:47:05.880 --> 0:47:08.120
<v Speaker 2>the password to his phone, which only makes me think

0:47:08.160 --> 0:47:11.320
<v Speaker 2>the worst is happening. I've got in a couple's counseling,

0:47:11.360 --> 0:47:14.120
<v Speaker 2>but he doesn't seem to want to try and change

0:47:14.120 --> 0:47:16.440
<v Speaker 2>his behavior. I would love any advice on how to navigate.

0:47:16.480 --> 0:47:22.759
<v Speaker 2>Listening to girls helps me so much. Exo, Damn, I

0:47:23.000 --> 0:47:25.879
<v Speaker 2>resonate with so many points of this, and I'm being

0:47:25.960 --> 0:47:30.520
<v Speaker 2>protective of a lot of I'm trying to be protective

0:47:30.520 --> 0:47:34.240
<v Speaker 2>of my own marriage because it has not been perfect.

0:47:34.800 --> 0:47:37.680
<v Speaker 2>But I resonate so much with so many pieces of this.

0:47:38.800 --> 0:47:45.360
<v Speaker 2>There's one key piece that, if my hindsight can lend

0:47:45.680 --> 0:47:52.000
<v Speaker 2>it is that men stay and boys leave, and there

0:47:52.120 --> 0:47:55.960
<v Speaker 2>has to be a responsibility and a maturity of someone

0:47:56.040 --> 0:48:00.480
<v Speaker 2>actively wanting something the same way you want it. Anything

0:48:00.520 --> 0:48:03.839
<v Speaker 2>to change if you're taking the steps and you're going

0:48:03.840 --> 0:48:06.399
<v Speaker 2>to counseling and you're telling him so it's not out

0:48:06.440 --> 0:48:12.160
<v Speaker 2>of lack of communication or vulnerability, and there's still no change,

0:48:13.000 --> 0:48:16.600
<v Speaker 2>in fact, negative change to the way we're like changing passwords.

0:48:18.560 --> 0:48:23.400
<v Speaker 2>That feels to me. I also don't want I hate

0:48:23.440 --> 0:48:26.239
<v Speaker 2>saying something that somebody might not want to hear. But

0:48:26.880 --> 0:48:29.120
<v Speaker 2>if I had to be thirty thousand feet just based

0:48:29.160 --> 0:48:32.839
<v Speaker 2>on my own experiences and then how I know it

0:48:32.880 --> 0:48:36.920
<v Speaker 2>can change if the other person wants to change, or

0:48:37.000 --> 0:48:40.280
<v Speaker 2>wants to own up, or wants to be honest. I don't.

0:48:40.400 --> 0:48:42.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't love how that feels for her, and I

0:48:42.960 --> 0:48:46.000
<v Speaker 2>don't love the trajectory that it feels like for me

0:48:46.360 --> 0:48:46.839
<v Speaker 2>for her.

0:48:47.600 --> 0:48:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Did he own up to it? Did she say I.

0:48:51.800 --> 0:48:53.560
<v Speaker 2>Don't think you had a choice because she looked hard

0:48:53.560 --> 0:48:54.319
<v Speaker 2>at ith.

0:48:54.680 --> 0:48:57.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but they still, you know, make excuse to make

0:48:57.760 --> 0:48:59.920
<v Speaker 1>excuse me the moment you go through their stuff, I feel.

0:48:59.760 --> 0:49:02.640
<v Speaker 2>Like, I mean, y'all know where I stand on this,

0:49:02.719 --> 0:49:04.360
<v Speaker 2>and I hate this for her. I mean, it's awful

0:49:04.360 --> 0:49:07.480
<v Speaker 2>and I'm so sorry. I just think that first and

0:49:07.520 --> 0:49:12.279
<v Speaker 2>foremost changing the password the fact there should be open communication.

0:49:12.320 --> 0:49:16.640
<v Speaker 2>There should be open trust and transparency with passwords. If

0:49:16.680 --> 0:49:18.600
<v Speaker 2>he has a problem giving you the password, that's a

0:49:18.600 --> 0:49:23.600
<v Speaker 2>big problem in my eyes, that's not okay. That to

0:49:23.680 --> 0:49:26.799
<v Speaker 2>me lends that he's got some bad behavior going on

0:49:26.840 --> 0:49:29.240
<v Speaker 2>that he doesn't want you to see. I also think

0:49:30.239 --> 0:49:33.040
<v Speaker 2>to listen to your gut, because your intuition is always

0:49:33.040 --> 0:49:37.160
<v Speaker 2>going to lead you there. You know, if you think

0:49:37.200 --> 0:49:39.359
<v Speaker 2>something's going on, most likely there is. And if he's

0:49:39.400 --> 0:49:42.640
<v Speaker 2>doing something and respecting you like that right now and

0:49:42.840 --> 0:49:45.880
<v Speaker 2>continues to then this is a pattern and not just

0:49:46.120 --> 0:49:48.680
<v Speaker 2>a one time thing. So and I don't like the

0:49:48.719 --> 0:49:52.040
<v Speaker 2>fact that he's not really open to really changing his behavior.

0:49:52.480 --> 0:49:54.680
<v Speaker 2>So I think if he doesn't share his password with you,

0:49:54.800 --> 0:49:57.600
<v Speaker 2>if he's not trying to make steps to prove his

0:49:59.680 --> 0:50:05.040
<v Speaker 2>change behavior and showing you those steps, then I mean

0:50:05.080 --> 0:50:09.040
<v Speaker 2>I would I wouldn't be too hopeful for unfortunately, like

0:50:09.040 --> 0:50:13.080
<v Speaker 2>I hate that, And also I always tell people that

0:50:13.080 --> 0:50:15.279
<v Speaker 2>that reach out and that I have conversations with on

0:50:15.280 --> 0:50:18.640
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram. It's you know, I hate hearing the stories

0:50:18.760 --> 0:50:20.600
<v Speaker 2>and I'm so sad for them, and I'm also so

0:50:20.680 --> 0:50:22.520
<v Speaker 2>excited for their new future and when they get to

0:50:22.600 --> 0:50:25.719
<v Speaker 2>experience the kind of love that I've now experienced, or

0:50:25.719 --> 0:50:27.560
<v Speaker 2>that you know, the or just like you're own, even

0:50:27.600 --> 0:50:30.040
<v Speaker 2>like just not being in something that is like that.

0:50:30.080 --> 0:50:33.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean, to have not only respect for yourself and

0:50:33.120 --> 0:50:34.759
<v Speaker 2>the love for yourself and your kids, but to not

0:50:35.320 --> 0:50:38.640
<v Speaker 2>to not be questioning what your man is doing is

0:50:38.680 --> 0:50:41.279
<v Speaker 2>a very freeing thing and something that we all we

0:50:41.320 --> 0:50:45.840
<v Speaker 2>should we that's something we should think twice about, right, Yeah.

0:50:46.320 --> 0:50:49.880
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I think mourning the loss of someone, the

0:50:49.960 --> 0:50:52.799
<v Speaker 2>idea of someone, or mourning the loss of someone that's

0:50:52.800 --> 0:50:55.239
<v Speaker 2>still alive is probably the hardest human thing to do.

0:50:56.200 --> 0:50:59.640
<v Speaker 2>So probably the perception or the idea she had of

0:50:59.719 --> 0:51:01.520
<v Speaker 2>him what is hardest to break up with, Like I

0:51:01.520 --> 0:51:03.719
<v Speaker 2>think is I'm wondering even how she felt as she

0:51:03.800 --> 0:51:05.799
<v Speaker 2>typed that, like, because it starts to get real when

0:51:05.840 --> 0:51:08.840
<v Speaker 2>you put it into words. Yeah, and also add the

0:51:08.880 --> 0:51:12.000
<v Speaker 2>postpartum layer. Oh, that's it's awful. That's not fair. Also,

0:51:12.040 --> 0:51:14.000
<v Speaker 2>and that's another piece that he should just still be

0:51:14.160 --> 0:51:18.480
<v Speaker 2>more protective and loving on her. And the verbal disrespect

0:51:18.560 --> 0:51:21.240
<v Speaker 2>not okay, none of none of any of that is okay,

0:51:21.280 --> 0:51:23.360
<v Speaker 2>it's not you know, it's not your fault. He shouldn't

0:51:23.360 --> 0:51:25.120
<v Speaker 2>be acting that way. And also I've thought about this

0:51:25.160 --> 0:51:27.080
<v Speaker 2>a lot too. There are certain people that I know

0:51:27.120 --> 0:51:29.520
<v Speaker 2>that have girlfriends and sometimes that I'll look at their followers,

0:51:29.520 --> 0:51:32.399
<v Speaker 2>the type of women that they're following. I'm like, how

0:51:33.160 --> 0:51:36.000
<v Speaker 2>mm hmm, that's not I don't think that's respectful to

0:51:36.080 --> 0:51:40.040
<v Speaker 2>any relationship to have these men, husbands, boyfriends following these

0:51:40.120 --> 0:51:46.560
<v Speaker 2>really inappropriate pages like that. So there's that piece of it. Also,

0:51:46.680 --> 0:51:49.400
<v Speaker 2>my therapist sent me something arth sorry, our therapist sent

0:51:49.480 --> 0:51:51.680
<v Speaker 2>me something the other day as a thought. She said,

0:51:51.719 --> 0:51:54.839
<v Speaker 2>for now, She's like two simple words. She's like, if

0:51:54.880 --> 0:51:58.160
<v Speaker 2>you're having anxiety, it's four now. It's not forever, it's

0:51:58.280 --> 0:52:01.040
<v Speaker 2>just four now. And so while you're going through this

0:52:01.200 --> 0:52:04.759
<v Speaker 2>for now, like you can also like, it won't be

0:52:04.920 --> 0:52:07.040
<v Speaker 2>like this in a year if you make changes, and

0:52:07.520 --> 0:52:10.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, he can stay like that forever, but you

0:52:10.480 --> 0:52:12.280
<v Speaker 2>don't have to. You don't have to be held captive

0:52:12.320 --> 0:52:15.000
<v Speaker 2>to that. So for now, it's gonna be really hard,

0:52:15.120 --> 0:52:17.560
<v Speaker 2>but it won't be like that forever. Yeah, whatever you

0:52:17.600 --> 0:52:22.239
<v Speaker 2>need is me is just his unwillingness to change. It

0:52:22.320 --> 0:52:24.800
<v Speaker 2>sounds like that's the part, because it takes a lot

0:52:24.880 --> 0:52:30.400
<v Speaker 2>for a postpartum, especially like we're just flooded, you know,

0:52:30.680 --> 0:52:32.400
<v Speaker 2>and to say what you need and to try to

0:52:32.440 --> 0:52:35.040
<v Speaker 2>get help and to take someone a couple's counseling and

0:52:35.080 --> 0:52:37.319
<v Speaker 2>to still feel like that just makes me feel sad.

0:52:37.360 --> 0:52:39.799
<v Speaker 2>That's not fair. Yeah, no, I agree with you so

0:52:39.880 --> 0:52:41.880
<v Speaker 2>and that sucks, and please reach out on DMS. I

0:52:41.920 --> 0:52:45.920
<v Speaker 2>got your girl, all right, ladies, I think I will

0:52:45.960 --> 0:52:50.560
<v Speaker 2>be ready to unpin two really big things next week. Okay,

0:52:51.880 --> 0:52:54.279
<v Speaker 2>they're big, so stay tuned. I mean it's I'm gonna

0:52:54.320 --> 0:52:57.040
<v Speaker 2>probably get emotional, but they're very big. Oh okay, do

0:52:57.120 --> 0:53:00.200
<v Speaker 2>I know of them? Neither one of you know both

0:53:00.239 --> 0:53:03.040
<v Speaker 2>of them? Of I'm sorry one you know one, but

0:53:03.120 --> 0:53:04.680
<v Speaker 2>the big one you don't know about.

0:53:05.320 --> 0:53:06.840
<v Speaker 1>Man, I can't wait a week.

0:53:07.360 --> 0:53:09.719
<v Speaker 2>You gonna have to me. Are we good?

0:53:09.800 --> 0:53:10.279
<v Speaker 1>Are we good?

0:53:10.280 --> 0:53:10.760
<v Speaker 2>For you?

0:53:10.960 --> 0:53:11.279
<v Speaker 1>We all?

0:53:11.360 --> 0:53:13.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I feel really I feel really sad

0:53:13.480 --> 0:53:15.560
<v Speaker 2>about the birthday party. We'll talk about it offline. I

0:53:15.560 --> 0:53:17.800
<v Speaker 2>don't even remember so well you were invited so you

0:53:17.840 --> 0:53:23.120
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't remember, all right, on that note, see you later,

0:53:23.440 --> 0:53:23.960
<v Speaker 2>by bye.