1
00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,359
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'mheart Radio Podcast.

2
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,360
Speaker 2: Oh ladies, you guys took Jolie's queue today because it's

3
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 2: stripees day today. Oh what makes it? Stripes? Stay not

4
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:17,240
Speaker 2: wearing stripes. But so they're doing teacap testing and so

5
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:21,880
Speaker 2: each day they they're dressing to get them prepared for

6
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,759
Speaker 2: and I don't know what a stripe is for the

7
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,319
Speaker 2: tea cap, but it's something. Yeah, it's like yesterday was

8
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,800
Speaker 2: black because they have to fill in the whole thing black.

9
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,720
Speaker 2: So it's just like a fun way to get them

10
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:32,839
Speaker 2: excited about testing.

11
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,040
Speaker 1: That's cute. We don't do that.

12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,159
Speaker 2: Let me know if that works. There's not much you

13
00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:42,800
Speaker 2: could do to get me excited about testing ever my teacaps. Yeah,

14
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,880
Speaker 2: I know it started to do you guys remember the meap.

15
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,560
Speaker 1: We we didn't have meap.

16
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,839
Speaker 2: I just I just had a response in my body.

17
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:55,280
Speaker 2: I didn't even know existed. Wow, So we just had Wow.

18
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,240
Speaker 2: We just had the final meeting at school for Jolie

19
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 2: for her dyslexia and her IEP and you know, she'll

20
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,240
Speaker 2: have the read aloud for the tea cap and the

21
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,480
Speaker 2: testing and she's going to be able to pass because

22
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,640
Speaker 2: of the third grade log exemption for her dyslexia. So

23
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,280
Speaker 2: this is great because this is the grade that she

24
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 2: would have been held back, and she would have if

25
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,880
Speaker 2: she didn't have the dyslexia. So she's getting the log assumption.

26
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,480
Speaker 2: It's great. We've we've got a whole plan for her

27
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,039
Speaker 2: in place. But when they're bringing up the testing, I

28
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,720
Speaker 2: thought of meep and I had this like.

29
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,240
Speaker 3: I had it.

30
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,320
Speaker 2: That's wild. I forgot. I don't know that I've heard

31
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,520
Speaker 2: that word since we took it. I'm sorry, there's.

32
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,720
Speaker 1: What hours was. I mean, we've always had teacap here.

33
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,040
Speaker 2: I just every time we're saying this, I feel like

34
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 2: it's a teacup and it's just going a different direction

35
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:38,760
Speaker 2: from me.

36
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,520
Speaker 1: That's terrible.

37
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,240
Speaker 2: I think it's cute though. What they do. We wrote letters,

38
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,480
Speaker 2: So there's six letters that they could you guys do

39
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,880
Speaker 2: the letters to it? Yeah, so Jace wrote a sweet

40
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,800
Speaker 2: one in class that I put an envelope for him,

41
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,240
Speaker 2: and you know I got everyone. But I digress. Anyways,

42
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,720
Speaker 2: you guys are in stripes. Go teacap week, Go teacap.

43
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,120
Speaker 2: We're not even what a big week though, because we've

44
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:05,040
Speaker 2: got a number one here. Low Cash has gone number one,

45
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:09,280
Speaker 2: my hometown home better? Are you say better than me? Better?

46
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,880
Speaker 2: Everyone goes stream it so exciting the fact that they

47
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,320
Speaker 2: are on their own label and they have a number

48
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,040
Speaker 2: one at radio. It means you, guys, I mean the

49
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,680
Speaker 2: work that was put into that. Congratulations to the Breast family.

50
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,120
Speaker 2: So emotional. That's amazing, It's incredible. It is a way

51
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,000
Speaker 2: different feeling. Where we did Billboard number one last week,

52
00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,359
Speaker 2: we're media Base this week. We're going for a two

53
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,399
Speaker 2: week number one on media Base. I mean, we are

54
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,240
Speaker 2: just doing it.

55
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 1: It just so I feel like we were just talking

56
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,920
Speaker 1: about when was that. It was like two months ago

57
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,760
Speaker 1: maybe when we all got together and we were at

58
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,079
Speaker 1: dinner and we were talking about going for that number one,

59
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:43,920
Speaker 1: And it's wild.

60
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,440
Speaker 2: It's just crazy exciting, it's exciting. It's so great, exciting,

61
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,560
Speaker 2: so much into this one. It just feels different, feels different.

62
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,040
Speaker 2: So there's a lot to catch up on. I love

63
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 2: these days. Did you guys happen to see my Instagram

64
00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,240
Speaker 2: a couple of days ago?

65
00:02:59,360 --> 00:02:59,880
Speaker 1: Which one?

66
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:07,600
Speaker 2: Well, it was a coffee star? Oh no, And I said, well,

67
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,720
Speaker 2: I'll probably be talking about it on next week's podcast.

68
00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,280
Speaker 1: I forgot what I was doing because I remember being

69
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,280
Speaker 1: very distracted. I was talking to someone, probably trying to

70
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,680
Speaker 1: talk to my child or something, and I saw that.

71
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,360
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, wait, wait what and then I

72
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,560
Speaker 1: forgot about it. Meant to message you, but do tell.

73
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,960
Speaker 3: Were you like, wait, Mike? I thought we didn't.

74
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,760
Speaker 1: Honestly, sometimes things just don't surprise me, kind of just like, okay, wait,

75
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,120
Speaker 1: fill me in because I didn't see this.

76
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,800
Speaker 2: Okay, so let me just back up another beat. Right, So,

77
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,920
Speaker 2: there is this thing called Derby Day at school. Do

78
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,480
Speaker 2: you guys have Dirby? We do not, Okay, there are

79
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,000
Speaker 2: so many days you'll do a.

80
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,200
Speaker 1: Lot on your calendar. I'm like, you'll do a lot

81
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 1: more than we do.

82
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:54,040
Speaker 2: Derby Day, field days, I guess you guys. Field day, Yeah,

83
00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,880
Speaker 2: pajama days. It is. It is quite a lot.

84
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,600
Speaker 3: Yeah okay, but we were heavy day, okay.

85
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:09,600
Speaker 2: And it is where the kids run around in the

86
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,480
Speaker 2: car line loop for thirty minutes. Is to raise money

87
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,760
Speaker 2: for the school, and I believe other things.

88
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,400
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean we do something similar.

89
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,880
Speaker 2: It's just called okay, Okay, that's something different. They make them,

90
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,039
Speaker 2: the kids, the horses, what they have to run, So

91
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,200
Speaker 2: it's how many laps you run okay, yeah, okay, I

92
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,800
Speaker 2: say the thirty minutes it was is quite a long

93
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,520
Speaker 2: time because they know they want the kids to run

94
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,039
Speaker 2: around run a lot, So of course I helped run

95
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,920
Speaker 2: you know both. I asked the kids, you know, do

96
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,320
Speaker 2: you want to run? Because their kids, the friends all

97
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,080
Speaker 2: go off like they kind of start together, and then

98
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:44,560
Speaker 2: then I see them running on their own. I'm like,

99
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:45,640
Speaker 2: do you want me to run with you? And they're

100
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,679
Speaker 2: like yes. So I did a lot of the running

101
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,200
Speaker 2: with them. Alan did some running. My cat's running so

102
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,080
Speaker 2: like he wasn't going to run regardless. My husband's definitely

103
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,880
Speaker 2: I go. Dad has a cough. She can't make it.

104
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,960
Speaker 3: There's on the roads. It's actually really study.

105
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,760
Speaker 2: I'll get you for straight day maybe. But no, we're

106
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:08,479
Speaker 2: not making fun of you.

107
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,719
Speaker 3: That's fine if you don't like to I do not

108
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:11,279
Speaker 3: like to run.

109
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,920
Speaker 2: That we know. Great. Even when we were about to

110
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,720
Speaker 2: miss a flight to one tree hill, we're not running.

111
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,960
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, not even job.

112
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,640
Speaker 1: The one I was not running.

113
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,640
Speaker 2: It was like, I will run home if I'm missing

114
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 2: a flight to see my kids. I love my tree hillers,

115
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,560
Speaker 2: but I'm not like it already says it's in the

116
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,960
Speaker 2: air I'm not running to the gate.

117
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,239
Speaker 1: There was no need to run. Just so we're very clear.

118
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,160
Speaker 2: I have PTSD from one of our trips. Continue Okay,

119
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,120
Speaker 2: I was running.

120
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,000
Speaker 1: We really digress.

121
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 3: Okay, here we go.

122
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,560
Speaker 2: So we're at Derby Day and it has been volatile

123
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,279
Speaker 2: between us, not how the cozy used to be, saying

124
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,960
Speaker 2: hellos and goodbyes, and you know, after coming on here

125
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:55,240
Speaker 2: and talking on the podcast. So but Derby Day was

126
00:05:55,400 --> 00:06:00,400
Speaker 2: especially a moment where I was like, I don't actually

127
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,520
Speaker 2: like the way this feels because it was one of

128
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:06,039
Speaker 2: those where there was no we were It's not that

129
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,000
Speaker 2: I was like trying to not, but it was there

130
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,000
Speaker 2: was no hello, there was no goodbye, there was no

131
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,400
Speaker 2: like even between Alan and Like. It was. He was

132
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,080
Speaker 2: on the one side. I was on the one side.

133
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,800
Speaker 2: And I remember and Alan made a comment, He's like, oh,

134
00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,520
Speaker 2: you can cut the tension with you know, a knife,

135
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,760
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm gonna attention.

136
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 3: Nothing.

137
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:31,320
Speaker 2: I don't care let them let them. Oh, I have

138
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,279
Speaker 2: a whole other topic about that. That's my wine about it.

139
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:39,239
Speaker 2: Stay tuned, Okay, we are today. I'm sorry, stay tuned.

140
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:43,880
Speaker 2: I didn't know. Okay, I'm gonna get Okay, I'm going

141
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,920
Speaker 2: to get in to let them Jesus get us back

142
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:51,120
Speaker 2: to Derby Day. So I'm you know, I'm feeling this

143
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,320
Speaker 2: tension and he leaves and this is and we've had

144
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,880
Speaker 2: a couple of games where it was, you know, fine,

145
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,720
Speaker 2: but we normally we will stand next to each other,

146
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,000
Speaker 2: do that whole stuff. But no, there was there was,

147
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:07,560
Speaker 2: you know, none of that. So he leaves and that

148
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:12,160
Speaker 2: is when I thought to myself, Okay, I can be

149
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,440
Speaker 2: upset and I can have frustrations, and I can also

150
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,800
Speaker 2: not like this tension, and I don't want and again,

151
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,559
Speaker 2: we don't need to be best friends, but there doesn't

152
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,520
Speaker 2: need to be. Now this has kind of gotten out

153
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,840
Speaker 2: of hand where it's this is, this is like too much,

154
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:31,080
Speaker 2: you know. So I text him not that day, it

155
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,360
Speaker 2: was probably a couple days later. I just said, hey,

156
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,040
Speaker 2: can we discuss the summer schedule? And also I think

157
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,560
Speaker 2: we should talk about a few things and he said,

158
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:45,960
Speaker 2: sounds good. How is this day? Okay? Great? So the

159
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,960
Speaker 2: plan was he was going to drop the kids off

160
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,680
Speaker 2: on Sunday because I get them again on Sundays on

161
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:55,360
Speaker 2: his weekends, and we would discuss the summer schedule and

162
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,880
Speaker 2: then we would have a chat. So the kids are

163
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,240
Speaker 2: playing and we're like, hey, mommy and Daddy needs to

164
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,640
Speaker 2: go have conversations. We go into Alan's office and we

165
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,360
Speaker 2: start talking about the schedule in the summer. So, for

166
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,120
Speaker 2: the schedule in the summer, it's supposed to be week on,

167
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 2: week off. I don't like that. I don't like not

168
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,600
Speaker 2: seeing the I don't ever have a week without them

169
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,600
Speaker 2: unless I'm filming something. So I drafted up more of

170
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,280
Speaker 2: like a three four kind of plan. I think it's

171
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,160
Speaker 2: better for the kids, the whole situation. I like it.

172
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,880
Speaker 2: It's good for him too, because it's not just you know,

173
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,040
Speaker 2: because he works during the week. We've got certain things,

174
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,000
Speaker 2: so now if we book a movie, it all kind

175
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,080
Speaker 2: of changes. But whatever, Like at least we've agreed to

176
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,160
Speaker 2: a schedule. So he's like, I think this sounds great

177
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,240
Speaker 2: and this is probably best for the kids one hundred

178
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:42,760
Speaker 2: percent great. And then it was like that awkward, all right,

179
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,480
Speaker 2: so what do we want to talk? And I'm like, yeah,

180
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:45,760
Speaker 2: go for it. Do you want to say something?

181
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,160
Speaker 3: And we do.

182
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:54,200
Speaker 2: I feel it.

183
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,760
Speaker 1: Because I'm like I want to eventually in the office, I.

184
00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:56,760
Speaker 2: Know, and I like sitting in all and see you know,

185
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,280
Speaker 2: but I didn't know where to go, and I don't

186
00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,800
Speaker 2: want to come into office. I'm not having this stund

187
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,760
Speaker 2: with them like oh it's perfect, like so yeah, and

188
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,559
Speaker 2: so also like trying to respect him, like I don't

189
00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:08,200
Speaker 2: want to bring him up. So I was like, yes,

190
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,560
Speaker 2: let's just and I don't want the kids to be

191
00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:11,800
Speaker 2: hearing any of this conversation, you know. So I'm like,

192
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,120
Speaker 2: let's just go to his office and it's business. Yeah.

193
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,679
Speaker 2: I like the office, but I'm not going.

194
00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:21,360
Speaker 3: To start, even though it's my idea to talk but whatever.

195
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:26,839
Speaker 2: So I you know, he's like, well, I just don't understand,

196
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:34,000
Speaker 2: you know, why we're here again. I've gotten some things

197
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,400
Speaker 2: sent to me from your podcast and I'm like, what

198
00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,400
Speaker 2: people are sending you? He's like, you know, those Reddit

199
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,520
Speaker 2: trolls or whatever whoever, are sending me clips of the

200
00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:46,880
Speaker 2: things you're saying on the podcast. And I was like, okay,

201
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,840
Speaker 2: you know, and I mean you say it here, it's

202
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,040
Speaker 2: not like trying to like you know, he goes, well,

203
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,439
Speaker 2: I just don't understand, you know why we're here again.

204
00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,920
Speaker 2: He's like what did I do to be in this

205
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:06,160
Speaker 2: situation right now? And so, you know, and then he's

206
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,760
Speaker 2: like you know, I apologize that we're in this situation,

207
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,160
Speaker 2: you know, and he's like, I just don't understand what

208
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,720
Speaker 2: I've done thus far, and I said, this is you know.

209
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,040
Speaker 2: So I appreciated him sharing, I said, but for me

210
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:23,240
Speaker 2: it's hard because I for as long as I'm paying

211
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,120
Speaker 2: child support and these certain things, there's always going to

212
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,480
Speaker 2: be that resentment or I'm going to feel tied, or

213
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,280
Speaker 2: I'm going to feel that cage of the resentment from

214
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,960
Speaker 2: our marriage and the things that happened. And so it

215
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,680
Speaker 2: is hard for me when certain things are said and

216
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 2: then I see this and he's he's explaining his so

217
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,520
Speaker 2: he's like, well, I thought I heard this, and I'm like,

218
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,800
Speaker 2: well that's not what I said, but okay, I can

219
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,520
Speaker 2: understand that's what you might have heard. And now you

220
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,400
Speaker 2: can see how and then I took it, and so

221
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,319
Speaker 2: we're having those good conversations. I was like, but for me,

222
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 2: I just feel like, you're trying to have this great relationship,

223
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,080
Speaker 2: but in just to make sure that I'm paying you

224
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,840
Speaker 2: your support check every month on time, and is this

225
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,680
Speaker 2: even a real French And why would you like You're

226
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,800
Speaker 2: never not going to take the money, you know, And

227
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,440
Speaker 2: I just don't believe it. When you come on this

228
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,200
Speaker 2: podcast and say that you hate it and that you're

229
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,400
Speaker 2: going to stop one day, I just don't believe you, you know.

230
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,720
Speaker 2: And he's like, well, you know, I'll probably regret not

231
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,280
Speaker 2: taking it one day, but you know, I don't want

232
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,720
Speaker 2: you for our relationship. And I was like, well, why

233
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,360
Speaker 2: do you care about our relationship? Like it's free money,

234
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,280
Speaker 2: why would you care, you know? And so we just

235
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,200
Speaker 2: kind of like talk through that, and he said that

236
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,960
Speaker 2: he has a plan that by a certain point he

237
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,360
Speaker 2: would like to be at a good place to not

238
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,280
Speaker 2: because he knows what it does to me and to

239
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,320
Speaker 2: our relationship. So do I believe it? I don't know,

240
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,360
Speaker 2: But I said I will let it rest for this

241
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,880
Speaker 2: period to see and then we can revisit, because obviously

242
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:46,760
Speaker 2: this is what you're saying you would like to not

243
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,160
Speaker 2: do anymore past this point, So okay, I will back

244
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,880
Speaker 2: off that I will try to just swallow some resentment

245
00:11:53,920 --> 00:12:03,800
Speaker 2: stuff and see. So we talked about that, okay, And

246
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,160
Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, I'm like, I

247
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,400
Speaker 2: don't want I don't you guys know me. I don't

248
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,560
Speaker 2: like having bad energy. I don't want to I don't

249
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,880
Speaker 2: want to again, We're not going to be like besties,

250
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,720
Speaker 2: right obviously, but there does there's we were at such

251
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,959
Speaker 2: a we were at such a great co parenting place

252
00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:23,960
Speaker 2: that and we were able to crack jokes and be

253
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,880
Speaker 2: friendly at games, and I want that for the kids,

254
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,400
Speaker 2: and I want to be able to have him around

255
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,760
Speaker 2: certain things for family stuff like so I and I

256
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,280
Speaker 2: just don't like having that tension. So I'm going to

257
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:37,360
Speaker 2: do my best to let that resentment hold for a

258
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,080
Speaker 2: beat and then I hope that he follows up on

259
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,600
Speaker 2: what he says and if not, we'll talk about it

260
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,559
Speaker 2: in two years. Yeah, it feels a little ground cadgs day.

261
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,640
Speaker 2: So that's probably also frustrating. Yeah, well we've heard it

262
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,079
Speaker 2: all before. Yeah, And I don't disagree with you. I

263
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,480
Speaker 2: would want the tension to be gone. I don't want

264
00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,680
Speaker 2: I don't like it.

265
00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,960
Speaker 1: It's not good for anyone. So i'd agree with you

266
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,960
Speaker 1: on that and the kids too, exactly. And my only

267
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,120
Speaker 1: fear and hearing what you're saying is that you're holding

268
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,600
Speaker 1: on to this hope. I know of something I know

269
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,920
Speaker 1: that is probably not going to come to fruition. I know,

270
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000
Speaker 1: And my prayer for you is that you at some

271
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,800
Speaker 1: point can let go of that, knowing that you may

272
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,400
Speaker 1: be paying him until they're eighteen. I know, And I

273
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,800
Speaker 1: think I'm hoping you can get to that at some

274
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,720
Speaker 1: point instead of holding on to some kind.

275
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,360
Speaker 2: Of and I know, but I almost need to have

276
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,400
Speaker 2: that for sure. And I know in two years I'm

277
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,320
Speaker 2: probably going to get and they'll be a big blow

278
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,559
Speaker 2: up again. But I at least my therapist said four, now,

279
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:38,560
Speaker 2: let's believe this for now, you know, and so and

280
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,360
Speaker 2: then but yes, I agree, I'm already like and that's

281
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,480
Speaker 2: where I said, I'm like, that's where the tension, the

282
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,680
Speaker 2: resentment will always be there. I'm always going to have

283
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,600
Speaker 2: an issue while because I've felt all this resentment in

284
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,280
Speaker 2: our relationship. So of course I'm going to feel this.

285
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,160
Speaker 2: And then when I see you say this and do

286
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,760
Speaker 2: this and it's still the same person, of course I'm

287
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,960
Speaker 2: going to be upset. How can you not think i'd

288
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,160
Speaker 2: be upset? You know? So, and she said, till eighteen

289
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,440
Speaker 2: I had the face. I couldn't even hide it. I mean,

290
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:03,800
Speaker 2: that's a.

291
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,800
Speaker 1: Long it's a long time, and I totally understand that.

292
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,520
Speaker 2: I don't think in my brain it was till eighteen

293
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,600
Speaker 2: and I don't know why it wouldn't be it makes sense.

294
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,720
Speaker 1: It doesn't make sense, but it makes sense. I just

295
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,480
Speaker 1: hate it all to let down again. That's what worries me,

296
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 1: you know, hearing that, because I hate you. Just I

297
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 1: hate it you're constantly feeling let down by him. I

298
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,040
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, and but I'm so thankful, and

299
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,480
Speaker 1: I'm so thankful that y'all are able to get to

300
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,000
Speaker 1: this place that hopefully will help everybody for the next

301
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,240
Speaker 1: couple of years. And maybe he can do it. Maybe

302
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,760
Speaker 1: he really truly can get to a point where he

303
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,040
Speaker 1: doesn't have to take the money. I mean, I I

304
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,680
Speaker 1: think that if you really tried, he could. Yeah, you

305
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 1: know I do.

306
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 2: Do I have faith in it? No, But it's because

307
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 2: I've always seen the version of sure what I've been shown.

308
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,880
Speaker 2: I would love this to not be the thing that

309
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,680
Speaker 2: holds our relationship captive. I would I was like, Mike,

310
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,080
Speaker 2: I was like, I want an even playing ground with you.

311
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,520
Speaker 2: I've never had that ever with you ever. And I

312
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 2: was like, and that is why it's so frustrated. I

313
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 2: have such resentment. I was like, I'm like, that's the

314
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,160
Speaker 2: piece that's hard for me is because it's always been,

315
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,120
Speaker 2: Mike hurt me, Mike cheated, Mike's took this, and it's

316
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:16,080
Speaker 2: like we've never just been equals ever adults. Yeah really yeah,

317
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,360
Speaker 2: and you've never not just taken or hurt. I was like,

318
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,280
Speaker 2: I would just love us to just be like you

319
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 2: support the kids. I support the kids on the bairground.

320
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,720
Speaker 2: Yeahah well well you know yeah, yeah that's really fair.

321
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,320
Speaker 2: But so what I'll say is how that video came about.

322
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,720
Speaker 2: So when we were in there for about an hour

323
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,720
Speaker 2: and a half, I forgot we started the video. Yeah,

324
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,280
Speaker 2: so we were in there for quite a bit, I mean,

325
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,160
Speaker 2: and the kids were kept kind of being like y'all,

326
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, there were some tearful moments. I'm like,

327
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,080
Speaker 2: this is you know, he got upset, I got upset.

328
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 2: So there was where we were hashing out stuff that

329
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 2: was good to hash out, or our relationship today, you know,

330
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,240
Speaker 2: not like Pat, but like where we're at today. And

331
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 2: so you know, the kids are probably wondering why we're

332
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,160
Speaker 2: in there, And so Jolie had taken and I hadn't

333
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,560
Speaker 2: deleted Carver Star off the phone yet, and so Jolie

334
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 2: had taken the phone. And when I came out there,

335
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,080
Speaker 2: because you know, Alan's putting the baby to bed, and

336
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 2: so I'm sure he was like, yeah, I go. You know,

337
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,440
Speaker 2: she went on there and when we got out of

338
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 2: the room, she's like, mommy, daddy, will you guys do

339
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,520
Speaker 2: this video with us? And so I'm like, of course,

340
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 2: you know, I want them to see that we can

341
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,280
Speaker 2: that were good and we weren't fight, you know, everything

342
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,640
Speaker 2: was fine. So that's how that video came about. So,

343
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 2: but Mike was a star in the cover star, just

344
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,040
Speaker 2: like them doing a cover star. It was funny, but

345
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 2: it was like it was really funny, like it was.

346
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,200
Speaker 2: It was a quite see topic. A few things in

347
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 2: there were good. But I think since then it's been great.

348
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,920
Speaker 2: Like we've been at games and it's been you know,

349
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 2: there's that lightness again. And that's what I'm like, I

350
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 2: I don't want that. I don't I don't. I don't

351
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 2: do well with that tension. I like to just be

352
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,080
Speaker 2: good with everybody and just be like, all right, for sure,

353
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 2: we're good and I'm going to do my best to

354
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,960
Speaker 2: not bring it up. I got I got two years,

355
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,560
Speaker 2: he said, when he's forty, so tbd. I was like,

356
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,040
Speaker 2: let's they're a good old fortieth birthday party on Wine

357
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 2: Down and see where we're at another murder mystery TBD

358
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 2: and we will see.

359
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,720
Speaker 1: I am proud of y'all though, I think that that

360
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 1: was very adult of both of you to sit down

361
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,920
Speaker 1: and do that, And a lot can happen in two years.

362
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 2: So yeah, I continue to be pretty proud of both

363
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,120
Speaker 2: of you in a lot of ways, like the way

364
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,280
Speaker 2: you do all of it, and Alan for that matter, Yeah, yeah,

365
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 2: for sure. Well and he kind of just like follows

366
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 2: my lead and it's like I just don't want to

367
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,000
Speaker 2: be comfortable for any uncomfortable for anyone, you know, and

368
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,840
Speaker 2: so but it does take a certain level of understanding

369
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 2: from Alan to to be able to even participate in

370
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 2: the system. Yeah, yeah, that's for sure, because he's so

371
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:51,119
Speaker 2: protective of you. But I gotta I mean, I know

372
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 2: we have other things, but I just I feel like

373
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,120
Speaker 2: we got to. I have to go to the wine

374
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 2: about it.

375
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 1: I want to know, Yeah, what marked because Bark earlier.

376
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,440
Speaker 2: I guess I got to read the book because I've

377
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,640
Speaker 2: been kind of deep diving a bit about let them.

378
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm gonna let them know something.

379
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 1: So it's the whole hold on because I haven't, and

380
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,400
Speaker 1: I don't really know. The whole premise is right, let

381
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,520
Speaker 1: them do their thing, let them be them, let them, let.

382
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 2: Them, But it's in two parts. Apparently it should be.

383
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,880
Speaker 2: But nobody, this is my problem. Nobody is talking about

384
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 2: the let me me that is, and I struggle exactly.

385
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 2: I haven't either until I until I until I kind

386
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,280
Speaker 2: of deep took a deep dive into it because I'm like, no,

387
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,639
Speaker 2: don't let them, Like to a point, yes, let them,

388
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 2: but don't don't let them walk all over you. Don't

389
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 2: let them talk to you like that, don't let them

390
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 2: do this to you, don't let them make you feel

391
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 2: this way, don't don't let them absolutely not stand up

392
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 2: for yourself. Yeah. So again, I haven't read the book.

393
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,240
Speaker 2: Read what I'm seeing. It gets a little the stuff

394
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 2: is like, oh, just you know, that's their thing. Let

395
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 2: them No, no, no, no no. She does a better

396
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 2: job explaining in the book, I'm gonna let them know what.

397
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 2: I'm only seventy pages in, so I'm not. I will

398
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,439
Speaker 2: just say though, that's all I'm seeing, and I just

399
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 2: don't think that's the right thing. Yes, No, I'm gonna

400
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 2: like with with my situation with Max, yeah, let them. Okay, fine,

401
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 2: there's a piece of that I understand. That's that's who

402
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,880
Speaker 2: he is. Let them. I can't control that. Let them right,

403
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,199
Speaker 2: those are things we can't control, certain things that our

404
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 2: parents let them that is, those those things. But when

405
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,199
Speaker 2: there's certain asterisks to all of that, like no, I

406
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 2: think you should stand, you should do the X, Y

407
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 2: and Z. Maybe she talks about in her books, maybe

408
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 2: I will. But why is nobody talking about the let

409
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 2: me part? Because that's the part that is still let

410
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 2: me part. Well, so it's let them do what they'll do,

411
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 2: or but it's not till like these crazy so far

412
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,880
Speaker 2: from me again only seventy pages in, because I can't

413
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 2: really get anything done right now. But it's like the

414
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 2: idea of not getting your feelings hurt, right, So, like

415
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 2: they take a vacation. One of the examples she uses

416
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,399
Speaker 2: pretty straight away is like how there's fantas friends of

417
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 2: hers that are friend group, and I think we've all

418
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 2: experienced this too, where it was like they all take

419
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 2: this vacation. She has this feeling of seeing it and

420
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: they were all her friends, and then she has this

421
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 2: moment where she was like very sad, you know, spir

422
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 2: really sure, yeah, But then she has a moment of

423
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,160
Speaker 2: like responsibility, like, but did I keep up with them?

424
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 2: Have I checked in with them? Would they know I

425
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,120
Speaker 2: want to go on this vacation. I've been unavailable here

426
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 2: and unavailable there, like at a certain point, you know.

427
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 2: And then the let me part is so far essentially

428
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,399
Speaker 2: like what can you do? What can you adopt in yourself?

429
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 2: What can you do to help like change it or

430
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 2: can get adjust or get control of it? So it's

431
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 2: not your So you're not just yeah, so you're not

432
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 2: just going let them? And then because that's not an

433
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 2: easy thing to do, there's a resentment comes with let them, yeah,

434
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: and there's sadness that comes with let them, So it

435
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 2: doesn't The let me part is the part I'm kind

436
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 2: of in on the book right now, so I'm not

437
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 2: even probably explaining it well, but essentially like, then what

438
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 2: can you do as a you?

439
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm living this with my thirteen year

440
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 1: old right now with all of her middle school friends,

441
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 1: and I'm the opposite with which I am not letting them,

442
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 1: like let them know, yeah, let them know this is hurtful,

443
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 1: let them know you expect more well out of a friendship.

444
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 1: Let them know that this is the kind of friend

445
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: I'm going to be, and I'm sorry, that's what I

446
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: expect in return for you. I need you to be

447
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 1: here for me.

448
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 2: I think that this I think, like anything, everything is

449
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,639
Speaker 2: kind of getting a little like out of context. But

450
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 2: essentially it's like you can do that so many times

451
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 2: and if you see this, no, so that's changed than

452
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 2: just and that's where we're at.

453
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: That's where we're at with it, Like, sure, you can

454
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,639
Speaker 1: only do so much, you can only stand up for

455
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 1: your so much that if things don't change now it

456
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:44,479
Speaker 1: is on you.

457
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

458
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: And that's been our conversation of the last couple of days,

459
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: Like there's only so much we can do. We cannot

460
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: control their actions, and now it's on you to walk away, yeah,

461
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 1: or continue to get hurt.

462
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 2: You know.

463
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: That's so I see both sides of that.

464
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, they let me is the part that focuses unreclaiming

465
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 2: your power by focusing on what you can control, your thoughts,

466
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 2: actions and reactions to situations. But I just feel like

467
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 2: that should be the bigger that should be. It's like

468
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 2: let them know, you know, and and then let me

469
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,439
Speaker 2: do this. It's like I just think they'll let me

470
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 2: should be more of the talking point instead of just

471
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 2: being like, oh, let them do it. Yeah, it feels well,

472
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 2: and there's a way to do that and be kind.

473
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean like there's a way to say I mean,

474
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 1: we just did it on the podcast not long ago,

475
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: like hey guys, this was hurtful, instead of just letting

476
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: it fester and letting.

477
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, let them make jokes or yeah what I mean

478
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 2: you know, I mean that's billy example.

479
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:43,439
Speaker 1: But yeah, but it's like it makes things stronger in

480
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 1: my opinion.

481
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, the whole this isn't I really encouraged to

482
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 2: read the book.

483
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 3: It does get a little repetitive.

484
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 1: I've seen the clips too, and I have felt the

485
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: same way we've actually talked about this. I have not read.

486
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 2: I'm a fan of mel and she's been on the podcast.

487
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: I just from what I've been seeing, I just wish

488
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,239
Speaker 2: the focus was well, it's also just about like let

489
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 2: me let them neither neither did I till I started

490
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 2: to more deep dive into it, I'm like, well, why

491
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 2: aren't we talking about this piece that is a good

492
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 2: points piece that I want to talk about, not just

493
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 2: like oh, let them do that. Well, also like the

494
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 2: way that presents itself is just like just be passive

495
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 2: and let narcisst be narcissist and let you know, abusive

496
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,719
Speaker 2: people be abusive people, not any level, you know. And

497
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 2: that's not what she's saying. She's going like it's in

498
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 2: the more. I don't even know that this is not

499
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 2: a melan door statement, But to me, it feels more

500
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 2: like middle of the road kind of conflicts, not so extreme,

501
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,400
Speaker 2: like you're just living like kind of normal day to day,

502
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 2: middle of the road life, like it left out of

503
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: the trip or the group chat or the you know

504
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 2: or whatever, just don't just take a minute to In

505
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 2: my brain, it competes to ownership and honesty and then

506
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 2: what can I do to make it feel better for myself.

507
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,159
Speaker 2: That's how I've interpreted it so far. I still I

508
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 2: just I still just kind of go I don't know,

509
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 2: I still will would like the other piece, Yeah, it's

510
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 2: a let them and for me, yeah, I just wonder

511
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 2: how marketable that is. Maybe they'll let them. Is the

512
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 2: part that they're just you know, like the titles picking

513
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: up on ye for sure. Yeah, I mean, because I'm

514
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 2: kind of in that situation right now where I'm I'm

515
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 2: dealing with trying to text someone at the moment, but

516
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 2: I don't. It's like, all right, let them, let them

517
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 2: do that. But I'm like, but I want to voice

518
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 2: this piece of it because it's bothering me. And that's

519
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 2: I guess that's to let me part of you know,

520
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 2: boundaries and whatever. But I don't know, girls, I just

521
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 2: bothers me to people a disservice. I would want to know.

522
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: It might be painful in the moment to hear it,

523
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: but I would always want to know if it's my child,

524
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 1: if it's me, I would much rather be aware than

525
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: let someone fester over something and me have no idea. Yeah,

526
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: I mean, hands down all the time. I'd rather that.

527
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 1: It may be hard to hear, I may not want

528
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 1: to hear it, but if my child is doing something,

529
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: if I am doing something, please tell me. Because I

530
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: want to be better. I don't want to hurt people's feelings.

531
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: I don't want my children to do things I don't.

532
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: So the let them, I think is for me is

533
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 1: if we get to a point if I have voiced

534
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 1: my opinion yes, and I have said something, and we're

535
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: not moving forward and nothing is changing, then it's up

536
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 1: to me to let them.

537
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 2: And really the starting story that she begins with is

538
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 2: essentially she is a lot of us. So she's in

539
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: the nicest way, but a type controlling got a little

540
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 2: agenda in her brain would like it to go a

541
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 2: certain way. And so this let them idea comes from

542
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 2: her relinquishing control on a rainy prom day and just

543
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,919
Speaker 2: allowing something to not be perfect or to not be pristine,

544
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 2: and like letting this moment happen where the magic happens. Yeah,

545
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 2: so it's not as like, you know, polarizing as it

546
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 2: appears to be, and I do.

547
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: See where it can be helpful. I think it can

548
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,199
Speaker 1: be helpful, especially for young girls, like stop trying to

549
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: like the whole like the whole TikTok thing. That's like

550
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 1: stop trying to sit at other people's tables, you know

551
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: that where you're not Like, I understand that there is

552
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 1: a thing where that is helpful for young girls because

553
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: I've always struggled with that and my feelings still get

554
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 1: hurt so easily, And I do think that that can

555
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: be helpful. Yeah, in a way, I.

556
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 2: Think it's more of a tool unless it is like

557
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 2: a law to me, I'm like this is wonderful when

558
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: it fits, but there's times that's not going to fit.

559
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

560
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: And yeah, like I've actually it was part of my

561
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 2: wine about it was the lack of gracious assumption that

562
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 2: people have. And I'm on the receiving end of that

563
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 2: right now because I'm in charge of a Daddy Daughter

564
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 2: dance that has grown three times its original amount, and

565
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 2: I'm hearing the rumor mill, even at a Sweet Little

566
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 2: Jesus School of like all these opinions that are just

567
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: flying about why is it on this night and why

568
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 2: is it that? And why is it this? And it's

569
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 2: like about thank you for organizing.

570
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 1: It and would you like to help? Yeah?

571
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's like, so the whine about

572
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 2: it is me about people whining about it, But really,

573
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 2: I just had this moment this week where I'm like,

574
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 2: where is the and this is not me, Like, this

575
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 2: is not a heroic moment, but this is just case

576
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 2: and point. Like in corporate America, I went through trainings

577
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 2: where you if you're going to present a problem, you

578
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 2: have to present five solutions. Don't come to us without solutions.

579
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: So when the Daddy Daughter Dance originated for the Sweet School,

580
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 2: it was on a weekend. I had a broken hearted daughter.

581
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 2: She could not go because her dad has always gone

582
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 2: on the weekends. So I said to the school, if

583
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: there is an opportunity for me to step in and

584
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 2: the person wants to step down or anything anyway I

585
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 2: can help, I would gladly take on full responsibility if

586
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 2: I could shift it to a weekday. Daddy daughter dances

587
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 2: in school are on a weekday for ours at least

588
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 2: ours a Thursday or Friday. I don't even know that's

589
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 2: still that's yeah, there'sday. Friday was ours well. Also from

590
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 2: the former events part of me that it's a discounted rate,

591
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 2: so it's a smarter way for all of us. Anyway,

592
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 2: So I do it. The woman says, please take this great.

593
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 2: So I did it last year or whatever, but like

594
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 2: just no one else is like so like I did

595
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:16,199
Speaker 2: that in order to create a solution. But there's just

596
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 2: a lot. I just I feel like we are living

597
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 2: in a culture and and part of me I went

598
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 2: all the way back in time, actually into the depths

599
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 2: of my upbringing, because I grew up with parents that

600
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 2: had opinions about everything everything. I remember leaving Thanksgiving and

601
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 2: hearing like the bashing of like every single family member

602
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 2: and just how like picking people apart. And so that's

603
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 2: ingrained in me a little too, and I'm doing my

604
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 2: very best too. I almost do it in ways to

605
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 2: protect myself. Like Kramer and I talk a lot about

606
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,719
Speaker 2: like the bottom falling out, preparing yourself, whatever, But like

607
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 2: the over analyzing of everyone is like so toxic at

608
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 2: this point that I'm just going But we also just

609
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 2: have the society that's kind of like perpetuating it, and

610
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 2: that is driving me crazy. Yeah with that, And also

611
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 2: what's wild is if you actually try to have those

612
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 2: conversations face to face, the opinions changed pretty quickly, and

613
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 2: so does the tone. No, for sure, you know, like

614
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 2: if that like this, I actually got wind of the person,

615
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: so I just said, hey, I was like heard you

616
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 2: had an issue that it's on the Thursday night. I

617
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 2: just wanted to let you know, Like I don't feel

618
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 2: the need to explain myself, but I will let you

619
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 2: know just so that you can kind of maybe fill

620
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 2: in everybody else like this is these are the reasons.

621
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 2: And I said, and also selfishly, it's on the Thursday,

622
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: this Thursday, specifically because my husband's home and I want

623
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 2: him to be able to take her, and I'm happy

624
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 2: to hand it over if you want to do it

625
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 2: next year, because it's three hundred and fifty people now,

626
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 2: So knock yourself out, you know, like sweetly. Yeah, And

627
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 2: she goes, oh no, no, no, no, that wasn't it,

628
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: And I'm like, maybe that wasn't it. Maybe it was

629
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 2: the rumor mo. But also like just a little blanket

630
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: of kindness for the love of Pete. Yeah, it's some

631
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 2: gracious assumption for people.

632
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 1: We're missing a lot of kindness in this world right now.

633
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's like really making me sad. I assume the

634
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: best to detriment and then you've got people are just

635
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: assuming the worst automatically. It's like, okay, chick, I was

636
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 2: talking to a girlfriend earlier today on my run and

637
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 2: we were saying, how wait, you're talking while you're running?

638
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 2: Stop are you guys? I like to chat. I don't know.

639
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 2: I'm doing that because it keeps it going. But opposite,

640
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 2: by the way, for me, I feel like a lot

641
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 2: of people will start the conversations going into it heated

642
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: and angry, but really, you know that might be the

643
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 2: person might like you just said, oh no, it wasn't

644
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: like that. Now, whether it was or it wasn't, maybe

645
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 2: you should change your tune in the in the middle of it.

646
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: But at least if you started heated, there's it isn't.

647
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 2: We don't need to start heated. That's something that I've

648
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 2: learned too, where it's people to not go straight aggressive

649
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 2: with the with the first conversation. Yeah, that's something I've learned.

650
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 2: Just like old and I even started to day, I

651
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 2: would go, I would have sent that text message that

652
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 2: I've been drafting last night right off the get. Yeah,

653
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 2: but I'm still waiting. Are we talking about that? Not yet? Okay,

654
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: we're going to post that one. Yeah, that's a good

655
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 2: one though, to pin I think smart.

656
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: To Yeah, that's hard for me. I struggle with that. Yeah,

657
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 1: I need to hold back sometimes and wait, Well.

658
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 2: I will also. And I'm not blaming let me part,

659
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: not let that the hormones part. And I'm not blaming this,

660
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 2: but this perimid apousal period is harder to bite my

661
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 2: tongue or to be slow to speak, or to wait

662
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 2: twenty four hours, and it's a very hijacking kind of feeling.

663
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm getting older and I'm like

664
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 1: over all the bullshit.

665
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 2: I know.

666
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: So if that is I'm old chicken or egg, let's

667
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: just let's have here now and decide what we want

668
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 1: to do and move on. Like I just don't know.

669
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: That's where I'm atah, which is what it's like. I

670
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 2: don't I don't want any Yeah, I did it yesterday, Jean,

671
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 2: it's just too old for this. I did it yesterday,

672
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 2: and I woke up this morning and I was like, girl,

673
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 2: should you have saidled that?

674
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: Dang it.

675
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 2: Caitlin Bristow Slam's ex Jason Kardik for using her dream

676
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 2: baby name for his dog name. I'm making this clear,

677
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 2: she says. It's not that I'm not over him, she said,

678
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 2: but to get a dog and name that dog my

679
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: dream baby name that I've had in my baby names

680
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: for ten years. I even had a text saying to him,

681
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 2: I said, you know, I want to name my baby Teddy.

682
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 2: And you know, She's like, I know, I seem very angry,

683
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 2: but it's more like I don't feel I don't like

684
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 2: feeling disrespected, she added, and I feel like a lot

685
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 2: of people are going after her right now, you know,

686
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: making her feel bad about saying that, and everyone's like.

687
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 2: What I don't like reading, first of all, is how

688
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 2: many women go and attack women in the comment section.

689
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 2: That's one thing I just I you know, I'll look

690
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 2: at the US weeklies, But the comments is what makes

691
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 2: me the saddest thing of all seeing how many women

692
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 2: talk crap on the women in those comments, being like

693
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 2: Teddy is a common dog name, and this, that and

694
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 2: the other and get over it, and you know why

695
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 2: are you still talking about it? Well, because it's hurtful. Yeah,

696
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 2: And like a woman I have had. I had Jolie

697
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 2: as my baby girl name since I was in my

698
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 2: early twenties. Jolie was so if if Mike and I

699
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: ended up, you know, staying broken up when you know

700
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 2: she did the first time or whatever, and then he

701
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 2: named his daughter Jolie, I would be pissed, furious. That

702
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 2: is my name that I have had for years. Almost

703
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 2: worse that it's a dog. Well, that's where I feel

704
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 2: like it might be a little dig to her. And

705
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 2: that's IBOs a dig. Yeah, I mean I don't think.

706
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 3: I don't want to believe that.

707
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 2: But like that, there's a gazillion other names, and I personally.

708
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: Claim it dog name. There's a lot of common dog names.

709
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: I don't know another petty that was not petty and

710
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 1: a dig at her. I'm sorry, I don't I would

711
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: not believe that in the least. You're not in a

712
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: relationship not know a baby name and name.

713
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 2: Your dog that, and that's a vulnerable space when a

714
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 2: woman is talking baby names said, that's vulnerable and that's

715
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 2: like dear diary kind of stuff that on purpose. I'm sorry,

716
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 2: I don't know. So I so don't want to belie

717
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 2: leave that that that's you know, I want to believe

718
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 2: that he forgot because men are like, you know, they

719
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 2: forget things, and like maybe he didn't.

720
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: A crazy coincidence.

721
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 2: Well but I know, but that's the piece. But again,

722
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 2: I'm I'm good on coming to her. I just was

723
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 2: like devils. I'm like, maybe, but I'm coming to her

724
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 2: depends on one thousand percent no matter what, Like that's

725
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 2: messed up.

726
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: It just hurts.

727
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 2: Has he commented it all? I don't know. So I

728
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 2: will say this one thing that I do think, because

729
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 2: life is noisy in socials and we're just inundated from

730
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 2: like every angle a thousand times, is like sometimes I

731
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 2: think we hear things and then don't even realize maybe

732
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 2: we heard it, so that would be my gracious assumption.

733
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 2: That is Teddy just pinned back in his brain somewhere

734
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 2: and then was like, Oh, that's a cute name. I

735
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 2: just don't think you forget talking about baby, do you

736
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like, for example, you know, if

737
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 2: Alan and I were to have a girl, one of

738
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 2: the girl names that Mike and I had was Charlie.

739
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 2: If we had a girl, I I would have never

740
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 2: named the girl Charlie because that was mine and Mike's

741
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 2: yeah baby's name, you know what I mean. But even so,

742
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 2: you know, Jolie, Like I just I think it's I mean,

743
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 2: this is gonna sound hypocritical now that I say this,

744
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 2: but like I feel like she should still be able

745
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 2: to use that because it's the woman in the name

746
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 2: of the baby that she's always wanted to use. Like,

747
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 2: no matter who I end up with, even if I

748
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 2: told one dude that I was dating, I want a

749
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 2: name her baby. Jolie. I'm naming probably someone's baby or

750
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 2: the baby Joy cause that's my name I've always had.

751
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 2: Yeah it was your name, now guy had.

752
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 1: But yeah, she looks ridiculous because she's naming her child

753
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:38,919
Speaker 1: the same thing as her ex'es dog.

754
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 2: Well, which is so messed up because that's not fair,

755
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.

756
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,839
Speaker 1: So, yeah, we had they not talked about this, think

757
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: about that, had they not talked about this? She let

758
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: it go, but like that's her name. Now she can't

759
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: name her if she either she can't do it or

760
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: she names her child that and everyone's like, oh my god,

761
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: she named her child the same thing as her ex'es dog.

762
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, now she's like, now she can't do it.

763
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 2: But I just hate thinking up about it and I

764
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 2: hate them going after you know, yeah, okay, ladies. The

765
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 2: White Lotus storyline sparks debate. I'm the fate of three

766
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: person friend groups. The question is what do you think

767
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 2: of this? And do you think do you think a

768
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: three person friend group can survive? And I hate to

769
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 2: say the answer no, because I think we work great,

770
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 2: but I don't think it's a good thing. I outside

771
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 2: of us, was really trying to wrack my brain for

772
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: a three person friend group I have that works like this.

773
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 1: My young trauma says absolutely.

774
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 3: Not absolutely marry and then.

775
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 1: Me Kristin and Ashley and me not this Kristin, Nope,

776
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,959
Speaker 1: it was terrible and it's not working for my middle

777
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: school or either.

778
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 2: So no, which doesn't work for my daughter either because

779
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 2: it's you know, it's her the two friends and then

780
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 2: Jolie in the neighborhood. So I'm like, honey, never it's

781
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 2: like gott to go in twos or fours urias, you

782
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,800
Speaker 2: will always get left out. Yeah, we actually love this.

783
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:08,840
Speaker 1: I do think as adults that are new friends. As adults,

784
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: I do think it can work. I mean, I think

785
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, we're not all like y'all are

786
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: closer than like me and you are no cat, That's okay,

787
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 1: that's not a bad thing.

788
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: I really like our relationship, with our relationship, Kristen.

789
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: I love it.

790
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,280
Speaker 2: So I thought I would be this close to you, Kat.

791
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: But what I'm saying, I will agree, but you guys

792
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 2: are closer.

793
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 1: This isn't bad. I'm saying that you guys.

794
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,399
Speaker 2: You're closer than we are.

795
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 1: Exactly, Yes, exactly, I think.

796
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 2: You guys are closer than Kramer and dynamics like that.

797
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 2: What are we proving.

798
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 1: This theory right now?

799
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 3: She goes, we're closer than we are.

800
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: And you got offended.

801
00:37:53,160 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 2: No, I don't know. This is why we are, but

802
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 2: I guess we're proving no, no, hey, we totally work.

803
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: She was, hey, hey, hey, hey, here's the deal because

804
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 2: when I say some of the best, we all define we.

805
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 1: Are good or we are.

806
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,799
Speaker 2: I think we are close on different reasons, like we

807
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 2: have a longer friendship obviously, you know. Yeah, we are

808
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 2: close on different things. We are close on different things,

809
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 2: and I don't think there is a true you know

810
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like and we're both there for each other, yep,

811
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 2: no matter what. But there are different places where we're

812
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,320
Speaker 2: closer than each other one hundred percent.

813
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: And I think that that's understood very well by all

814
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: of us. Like I expect y'all to have certain conversations

815
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 1: that y'all aren't going to come to me on one

816
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: hundred percent. I expect us to have different conversations that

817
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go to you on.

818
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 2: You know.

819
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 1: It's just so I think it can work, and I

820
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 1: think that that's a good example. But in theory, it's

821
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: usually not a great thing.

822
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: It doesn't think a level of I think, yeah, because

823
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 2: look at White Lotus for example. I remember, did you

824
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 2: watch this season?

825
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 1: Is this the new season?

826
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 2: Season three? Yeah? With Michelle on hand Unleslie. It's so good,

827
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 2: but it's you know, the three girls go on vacation

828
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 2: and I said, oh, this is going to end them

829
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 2: all fighting. You could just tell like they were like,

830
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,919
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, we haven't been done this in so long.

831
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 2: It's been forever. And then it's you know, oh, did

832
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 2: you hear that she voted for Trump? Oh did you hear?

833
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 2: Did you hear that? Like? How is she cheating on

834
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 2: this person? It's so they started to kind of like

835
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 2: when they were one on one, they started to then

836
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: talk about the other person, you know, and then it's

837
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 2: like that that dynamic of all and then it's like

838
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 2: who's closer to the one person, who's closer to Michelle,

839
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 2: who's closer you know? And then it's yeah, it's all

840
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 2: that that's funny.

841
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: I'll have to watch that.

842
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 2: I think the difference for us, at least I know

843
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 2: from my seat Dangerous Territory we're getting as close as well.

844
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 2: I just know because you guys have known each other longer.

845
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 2: But like I mean, Janna and I holy Matt curled it.

846
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 2: I mean that just for my relationship with Cramer, the

847
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 2: things that she has been in on with me. Okay,

848
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 2: but I was going to say, like I think that

849
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 2: if it's ever if one of us has ever talked

850
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 2: about when we're not in the room, it's always in again,

851
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 2: that kind of like umbrella of like loving and caring

852
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 2: about someone like I have never experienced from either of you.

853
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 2: You talking talking about either of you without like the

854
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 2: highest regard or like you know, like or like a concern. Now, yeah,

855
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 2: like Pat and I talked when the divorce was happening, Yeah, sure,

856
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 2: outside of you like what are we going to do?

857
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 2: How are we going to do this? We do like

858
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: not all the time, but like but in a way

859
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 2: that if you read that, you'd be like these girls

860
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 2: had my back, yeah, you know, but also going like okay,

861
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 2: we need a minute to like sidebar and just out

862
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,440
Speaker 2: of protection or like what's the plan or like you know,

863
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 2: what's really going on? Like your boots on the ground

864
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 2: and I well.

865
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 1: And she was you're our glue. I mean like we're why,

866
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: You're why we came together. So I feel like that's

867
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 1: when me and you kind of got closer. It was

868
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 1: like what are we going to do for her?

869
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,800
Speaker 2: I think they actually by definition is called trauma bonding.

870
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it's crazy, So you trauma bonded us.

871
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 2: But like even when we travel, you like to go

872
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 2: do the gym in the morning.

873
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: I stay into emails. Oh wait, we do breakfast.

874
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 2: Cut.

875
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,280
Speaker 1: I almost stipp to prevent it. I know it's coming.

876
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry we do breakfast.

877
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I just I think it's about maturity in

878
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 2: the way that we all know what we need and

879
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,919
Speaker 2: we all love each other so fully that like that's

880
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,359
Speaker 2: why it can work that way, and we know when

881
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 2: to protect each other even when we've been out on

882
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: the road and we've breached topics on stage and we

883
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,360
Speaker 2: have seen the look, we're like and that's good and

884
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 2: we protect each other. Yeah. Yeah, Has there ever been

885
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 2: a point though in this trio that someone's felt left out?

886
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 2: Now we know the joking of that one piece, but

887
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: has it left out though? Right? But has there has

888
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 2: there ever been a point where you have felt left

889
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 2: out or you felt left out or I could feel

890
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 2: left out, but I don't. Okay, tell fair, are we

891
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 2: further proving than it's doomed?

892
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna need to know no, just because.

893
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 2: Of like managerial wise, like you guys have friends long,

894
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 2: we have a whole friend group that I only know

895
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 2: of through you. But so yeah, like I'm not tied

896
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 2: to glue, you know from that. Yeah, well you're my

897
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 2: Sarah Brice Glue. Like they're like, it's all yeah, but

898
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 2: I don't. But again, I also just know y'all love

899
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 2: me like I wouldn't and if it really ever hurt

900
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 2: my feelings, I would say it and I know that

901
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 2: you would feel sad and so yeah, but I don't.

902
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 2: I've never heard whatever I ever have talked about each

903
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,919
Speaker 2: other because we have, right, it's all based out of love,

904
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like when you could really

905
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 2: like I just wish she would get the help that

906
00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 2: she deserves and needs, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,

907
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,360
Speaker 2: so it's like when we do talk, Yeah, it is

908
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 2: based out of love. Like there's never any time where

909
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,319
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want you to, Like you could scroll through

910
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 2: my phone and I can be like, well I said

911
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 2: that because this, you know, trust and.

912
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: Maturity cannot think of And I am probably the most

913
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 1: sensitive on this in this room. I think you think

914
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 1: Sondred percent ask her, really, this might be.

915
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 2: The first time I've never been the motive that you're

916
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 2: the most emotional, But she's the most sensitive. That's very different.

917
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, now that now that's the most up and down

918
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 3: of them all.

919
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I can truly not think of

920
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: a time with us three that I've felt left out.

921
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 1: I have felt left out of group things before, but

922
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: it has as a whole several times. But that has

923
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 1: never been something out of this group. It's never been

924
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: something that you've been doing or something that you've been doing.

925
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 1: It's been again unintentional.

926
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,399
Speaker 2: Probably there's a maturity you have because I remember even

927
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 2: I feeling is get hurt. No no, no, oh oh okay,

928
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 2: oh no, my feelings got hurt.

929
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 1: I tryed to her every time.

930
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 2: But like I remember even the first time, this is

931
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,320
Speaker 2: actually like pretty like this is in my brain, stuck

932
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 2: in my brain. That's how I know. Like it was

933
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: a moment where I just like saw you differently and

934
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,959
Speaker 2: like mature where I was. We were talking about Love's

935
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 2: birthday party years ago. Oh yeah, and you're like, i'll

936
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 2: see you later at Love's birthday parties.

937
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 1: One did yeah that was hard.

938
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well you didn't act like it so hard

939
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 2: for me. So then I was like, oh, I was

940
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 2: like yeah, and then you go, well I see you

941
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 2: there and you were like, no, no, no, no, we don't

942
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 2: invite each other to our kids' birthday parties. That's really

943
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 2: that's that's me. And I was like defense mechanism, Well

944
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 2: that was one of the moments.

945
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 1: So glad that you thought I was mature. I am

946
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,919
Speaker 1: actually the least mature in those situations, if I'm being

947
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: completely honest.

948
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: Right now, we've also we're coming into that age where

949
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,439
Speaker 2: like the kids are picking there and it's less about

950
00:44:58,480 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 2: who we want.

951
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: There a hundred like I know that my.

952
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: Cat, you you really presented well, I have to tell

953
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 2: you to the.

954
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 1: Probably knows.

955
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,879
Speaker 2: This is one of those times. Well this is why

956
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 2: so the other so last week when we got done podcasting,

957
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 2: I know I've mentioned the sauna.

958
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 3: Thing to you, but I was like, it's because I

959
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 3: was like.

960
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 2: We were going in the sauna, and I was like,

961
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 2: I didn't actually say hey because we were on the

962
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 2: phone talking about I was like, oh after because I

963
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 2: was on the treadmill and running or whatever, and I

964
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 2: was like, hey, after this, I'm gonna you know, sauna.

965
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, shoot, I'd love to, and so we'll

966
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 2: just do after the podcast. But then I didn't even

967
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 2: though I've mentioned it to Kat, but I didn't mention

968
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 2: that we were like we were sonning. So when we

969
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: were going downstairs, I was like, because I was like,

970
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 2: I don't want her not to feel left out, right,

971
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:43,760
Speaker 2: you want sauna?

972
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 1: Yeah you know? I was like, I know that, Like I.

973
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 2: The threes, the three that's right there, the threes. So

974
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 2: I'm emotional and oblivious. Okay voted most likely I.

975
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: Thought you were oblivious. I try to act like it

976
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: doesn't bother me, but I know her well enough to know,

977
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 1: and she just knows. You guys are closing. And then

978
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 1: I'll cry, it's fine.

979
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 2: Because we're closer. There you go, Okay, Okay.

980
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 1: So we just really proved that theory.

981
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 2: Moving on to my three wind down ladies, you've helped

982
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,400
Speaker 2: me through so many tough moments in my life and

983
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,240
Speaker 2: continue to do just that. I'm currently trying to navigate

984
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 2: through a tough relationship with my partner while also being postpartum,

985
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 2: and boy, it's a rollercoaster. There has been some broken

986
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 2: trust in our relationship on his part, and it started

987
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 2: with him just making inappropriate comments about other women in

988
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 2: front of me, which made something in my gut tell

989
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,919
Speaker 2: me to look through his phone. Oh MAKEE sick. Long

990
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 2: story short, there was something there every time I looked,

991
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 2: from videos and pictures of onlyfan girls to actual messages

992
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 2: to some women and even meeting inappropriate women, went out

993
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 2: with his friends and adding them on social media. I

994
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,720
Speaker 2: heard him out and tried to move past it because

995
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 2: there was no because there were no messages about him

996
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,720
Speaker 2: actually meeting up with any of these women that I saw.

997
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:54,959
Speaker 2: And at the time, I was also pregnant and didn't

998
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 2: want to make and didn't make that much money, so

999
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 2: that comes with its own set of fears. Fast forward today,

1000
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 2: my son is ten months old. There's a lack of

1001
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 2: intimacy and respect, including verbal disrespect at times. He's changed

1002
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 2: the password to his phone, which only makes me think

1003
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:11,320
Speaker 2: the worst is happening. I've got in a couple's counseling,

1004
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 2: but he doesn't seem to want to try and change

1005
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 2: his behavior. I would love any advice on how to navigate.

1006
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 2: Listening to girls helps me so much. Exo, Damn, I

1007
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,879
Speaker 2: resonate with so many points of this, and I'm being

1008
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 2: protective of a lot of I'm trying to be protective

1009
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:34,240
Speaker 2: of my own marriage because it has not been perfect.

1010
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 2: But I resonate so much with so many pieces of this.

1011
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 2: There's one key piece that, if my hindsight can lend

1012
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 2: it is that men stay and boys leave, and there

1013
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 2: has to be a responsibility and a maturity of someone

1014
00:47:56,040 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 2: actively wanting something the same way you want it. Anything

1015
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 2: to change if you're taking the steps and you're going

1016
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,399
Speaker 2: to counseling and you're telling him so it's not out

1017
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 2: of lack of communication or vulnerability, and there's still no change,

1018
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 2: in fact, negative change to the way we're like changing passwords.

1019
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 2: That feels to me. I also don't want I hate

1020
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 2: saying something that somebody might not want to hear. But

1021
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 2: if I had to be thirty thousand feet just based

1022
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:32,839
Speaker 2: on my own experiences and then how I know it

1023
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 2: can change if the other person wants to change, or

1024
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,280
Speaker 2: wants to own up, or wants to be honest. I don't.

1025
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 2: I don't love how that feels for her, and I

1026
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 2: don't love the trajectory that it feels like for me

1027
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:46,839
Speaker 2: for her.

1028
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: Did he own up to it? Did she say I.

1029
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 2: Don't think you had a choice because she looked hard

1030
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 2: at ith.

1031
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they still, you know, make excuse to make

1032
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: excuse me the moment you go through their stuff, I feel.

1033
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 2: Like, I mean, y'all know where I stand on this,

1034
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 2: and I hate this for her. I mean, it's awful

1035
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 2: and I'm so sorry. I just think that first and

1036
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 2: foremost changing the password the fact there should be open communication.

1037
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 2: There should be open trust and transparency with passwords. If

1038
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 2: he has a problem giving you the password, that's a

1039
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 2: big problem in my eyes, that's not okay. That to

1040
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 2: me lends that he's got some bad behavior going on

1041
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,240
Speaker 2: that he doesn't want you to see. I also think

1042
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 2: to listen to your gut, because your intuition is always

1043
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 2: going to lead you there. You know, if you think

1044
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 2: something's going on, most likely there is. And if he's

1045
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 2: doing something and respecting you like that right now and

1046
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 2: continues to then this is a pattern and not just

1047
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 2: a one time thing. So and I don't like the

1048
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 2: fact that he's not really open to really changing his behavior.

1049
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 2: So I think if he doesn't share his password with you,

1050
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 2: if he's not trying to make steps to prove his

1051
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 2: change behavior and showing you those steps, then I mean

1052
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 2: I would I wouldn't be too hopeful for unfortunately, like

1053
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 2: I hate that, And also I always tell people that

1054
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 2: that reach out and that I have conversations with on

1055
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 2: on Instagram. It's you know, I hate hearing the stories

1056
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 2: and I'm so sad for them, and I'm also so

1057
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 2: excited for their new future and when they get to

1058
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 2: experience the kind of love that I've now experienced, or

1059
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 2: that you know, the or just like you're own, even

1060
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 2: like just not being in something that is like that.

1061
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 2: I mean, to have not only respect for yourself and

1062
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 2: the love for yourself and your kids, but to not

1063
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 2: to not be questioning what your man is doing is

1064
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 2: a very freeing thing and something that we all we

1065
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 2: should we that's something we should think twice about, right, Yeah.

1066
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 2: So yeah, I think mourning the loss of someone, the

1067
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 2: idea of someone, or mourning the loss of someone that's

1068
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 2: still alive is probably the hardest human thing to do.

1069
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 2: So probably the perception or the idea she had of

1070
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 2: him what is hardest to break up with, Like I

1071
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 2: think is I'm wondering even how she felt as she

1072
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 2: typed that, like, because it starts to get real when

1073
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,840
Speaker 2: you put it into words. Yeah, and also add the

1074
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 2: postpartum layer. Oh, that's it's awful. That's not fair. Also,

1075
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 2: and that's another piece that he should just still be

1076
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 2: more protective and loving on her. And the verbal disrespect

1077
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 2: not okay, none of none of any of that is okay,

1078
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,360
Speaker 2: it's not you know, it's not your fault. He shouldn't

1079
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 2: be acting that way. And also I've thought about this

1080
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,080
Speaker 2: a lot too. There are certain people that I know

1081
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 2: that have girlfriends and sometimes that I'll look at their followers,

1082
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 2: the type of women that they're following. I'm like, how

1083
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: mm hmm, that's not I don't think that's respectful to

1084
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 2: any relationship to have these men, husbands, boyfriends following these

1085
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 2: really inappropriate pages like that. So there's that piece of it. Also,

1086
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 2: my therapist sent me something arth sorry, our therapist sent

1087
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 2: me something the other day as a thought. She said,

1088
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:54,839
Speaker 2: for now, She's like two simple words. She's like, if

1089
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 2: you're having anxiety, it's four now. It's not forever, it's

1090
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 2: just four now. And so while you're going through this

1091
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 2: for now, like you can also like, it won't be

1092
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 2: like this in a year if you make changes, and

1093
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 2: you know, he can stay like that forever, but you

1094
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:12,280
Speaker 2: don't have to. You don't have to be held captive

1095
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 2: to that. So for now, it's gonna be really hard,

1096
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 2: but it won't be like that forever. Yeah, whatever you

1097
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 2: need is me is just his unwillingness to change. It

1098
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,800
Speaker 2: sounds like that's the part, because it takes a lot

1099
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 2: for a postpartum, especially like we're just flooded, you know,

1100
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 2: and to say what you need and to try to

1101
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 2: get help and to take someone a couple's counseling and

1102
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 2: to still feel like that just makes me feel sad.

1103
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,799
Speaker 2: That's not fair. Yeah, no, I agree with you so

1104
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:41,880
Speaker 2: and that sucks, and please reach out on DMS. I

1105
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 2: got your girl, all right, ladies, I think I will

1106
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 2: be ready to unpin two really big things next week. Okay,

1107
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:54,279
Speaker 2: they're big, so stay tuned. I mean it's I'm gonna

1108
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 2: probably get emotional, but they're very big. Oh okay, do

1109
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 2: I know of them? Neither one of you know both

1110
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 2: of them? Of I'm sorry one you know one, but

1111
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 2: the big one you don't know about.

1112
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 1: Man, I can't wait a week.

1113
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 2: You gonna have to me. Are we good?

1114
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 1: Are we good?

1115
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:10,760
Speaker 2: For you?

1116
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:11,279
Speaker 1: We all?

1117
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel really I feel really sad

1118
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 2: about the birthday party. We'll talk about it offline. I

1119
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:17,800
Speaker 2: don't even remember so well you were invited so you

1120
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 2: wouldn't remember, all right, on that note, see you later,

1121
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 2: by bye.