1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: My mom was the first one to be like, does 2 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: this seem off at all to you? It was really 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: the first time someone said something that made me think, 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: what do you mean off? Like? I was immediately defensive. 5 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 2: I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about 6 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 7 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 2: change everything. 8 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,239 Speaker 1: When I hear other people's horrific stories of things that 9 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: have happened to them, I now have a lens of 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: what a human experience to love so deeply that we're 11 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 1: willing to suspend disbelief that high is Like, I truly 12 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: believe that deception really comes from a deep desire to 13 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: be loved, and I can sympathize with a desire to 14 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: be loved. 15 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 2: This is Kelsey's story of building her life around someone 16 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 2: else's lies. Lies that consumed Kelsey's twenties, derailed her early 17 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 2: career and destroyed her sense of trust. For many years, 18 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 2: she tried to hide from the deception she experienced, but 19 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 2: now she's ready to tell her story as a listener. 20 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 2: Note names and locations have been changed to protect privacy. 21 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 2: When she was a little girl, Kelsey's mom told her 22 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 2: the origin story of their family unit It was a 23 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 2: survival story. 24 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,960 Speaker 1: My dad was really abusive to all of us kids 25 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: and my mom, and so my mom was finally able 26 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: to get out when I was about three months old. 27 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 1: She packed all of us up, left my dad, and 28 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: drove cross country to my mom's hometown. That's where I 29 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: spent most of my life. 30 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 2: Her mom, in the three girls, started anew in a 31 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 2: small West Coast town, but the fear of her dad 32 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 2: was always looming in the background. 33 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: He actually went to prison after my mom left, and 34 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,959 Speaker 1: if he got out of prison, there was this fear 35 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:18,679 Speaker 1: that my dad would find us one day. 36 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 2: Nearly everyone in their new town was Mormon, and their 37 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 2: family wasn't. Their dad was Cuban, so Kelsey and her 38 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 2: sisters stood out in a sea of blonde hair and 39 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 2: blue eyes. 40 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: I remember my mom would like brush out my hair 41 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: so I looked more white, and so I looked like 42 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: the other Mormon girls in town, and then essentially told 43 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: me not to talk about my background, which worked because 44 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,679 Speaker 1: she was also I think, hiding us from my dad 45 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: in prison. 46 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 2: Her mom's survival story had another chapter for Kelsey's entire childhood. 47 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 2: Her mom battled breast cancer. 48 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: It was finally getting away from my dad. But then 49 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 1: she had a bout of answer. She thought she was 50 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: going to die from. 51 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 2: As a kid, Kelsey didn't know the details. She just 52 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 2: knew her mom was exhausted and was always going to 53 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 2: the hospital, and. 54 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: That was definitely on purpose. I think that she wanted 55 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: to be super careful, and even when I asked her 56 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 1: about it, I even remember her saying, this was private. 57 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: This is adult things. I don't want to scare you. 58 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: I'm protecting you from this information. 59 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 2: Kelsey's escape was the Girl Scouts. 60 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,359 Speaker 1: I had this tiny pocket of girlhood that was so fun, 61 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: like waiting once a week with my girlfriends to earn badges. 62 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: When I think about where I felt like I mattered most, 63 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: it was there. 64 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 2: Over the summer, she started going to Girl Scout Camp. 65 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 2: There she was allowed to just be a kid. 66 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: I would go for weeks at a time. I just 67 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: loved summer camp. I was meeting women who were older 68 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: than me, who were models of what it was like 69 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: to really be yourself. Oh. I have the best memories 70 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: at Girl Scout Camp. 71 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 2: The women who ran the camp were Kelsey's idols. She 72 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 2: wanted to be just like them. 73 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: I just thought they were so special. And cool. I 74 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: just thought, that's it. I'll be there one day. 75 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 2: As she got older and entered high school, she started 76 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 2: dreaming about broadening her horizons. 77 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to do whatever it takes to get out 78 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: of the state I was raised in and really friend myself. 79 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 1: So I got perfect grades and worked truly hard in school. 80 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: That This was also around the same time that I 81 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: fell in love for the first time, and I fell 82 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: in love with a girl in the grade above me. 83 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 2: Kelsey and her high school girlfriend kept their relationship a secret. 84 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 2: It was in the mid two thousands and they were 85 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 2: in a mostly Mormon community. 86 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: At the time. I think I was afraid of being gay, 87 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: definitely afraid of the implications of it. 88 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 2: So she set her sights on going to college in 89 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 2: a place where she could be out and be herself. 90 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 2: She was accepted to her first choice and made the leap. 91 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: I loved being on my own for the first time. 92 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: I came out and openly had a relationship and thought 93 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: that was so special. And I was doing really good 94 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: in school. 95 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 2: But her family's finances took an unexpected turn, so after 96 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 2: the first year, Kelsey had to transfer to a new university, 97 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 2: one that she'd be paying for herself. 98 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaker 1: I transferred to the public university. I was just pretty 99 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: isolated and it wasn't the dream for me, but it's 100 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 1: all I could afford. 101 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 2: She worked to put herself through college, and she started 102 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,119 Speaker 2: working summers as a counselor at her old girl Scout camp. 103 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: It was life changing and I loved it. 104 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 2: By her third summer, she earned an executive leadership role 105 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 2: at the camp, helping coordinate all the younger counselors. 106 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 1: I was doing real programming work, and I went to 107 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: summer camp that year early because senior staff meets early 108 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: before counselors get there. 109 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 2: Arriving at camp was a much anticipated reunion where she 110 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 2: saw all of her closest friends again. 111 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: I had a lot of friends at camp, like I 112 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,799 Speaker 1: had been really established there. This was the first work 113 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: experience I ever had when I was out, and for 114 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 1: the first time at camp we had other queer people. 115 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 1: They really diversified our pool of hiring that year. 116 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 2: One of the new counselors immediately caught Kelsey's attention. Her 117 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 2: name was Morgan. 118 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: I remember her walking into the office. She was very sporty, 119 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: so she had the classic ARII look and then they'll 120 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: cut off hair, and she just had the most beautiful eyes. 121 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: I just remember thinking, ah, mostly because it was the 122 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: most radical thing I'd ever known for someone to cut 123 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: off their hair. 124 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,600 Speaker 2: When they first met, Morgan was shy. She kept to 125 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 2: herself and seemed guarded. 126 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: I found her to be really mysterious. 127 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,679 Speaker 2: But she and Morgan had a close mutual friend in common. 128 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: My other camp friend really vouched for her and was like, 129 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: trust me, when she opens up, you're gonna love her. 130 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: And over time she did. 131 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 2: It felt like she chose Kelsey. 132 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: I felt really honored. I just felt like she kind 133 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: of opened up more to me. I felt really privileged 134 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: to be the one person that she was opening up to. 135 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: Like we would spend the weekend after training just talking. 136 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: Everyone's like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you got 137 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: her to talk to you. That's how shy she was. 138 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: And she was telling me, like really intimate details about 139 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: her life. 140 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 2: Even though Morgan was only twenty years old, she'd been 141 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 2: through a lot. 142 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: She had shared about some sexual assault, body dysmorphia, struggles 143 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: with an eating disorder. I just felt like I really 144 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: knew her. 145 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 2: Morgan confided in her, forming close bonds was a hallmark 146 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 2: of the camp experience. They would be spending every day 147 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 2: together for the next three months. 148 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: In camp time, that's three years. It's a massive amount 149 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: of time that people don't normally get to spend in 150 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,119 Speaker 1: a very intense environment where you're like growing and learning 151 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: and changing about yourself and funding things from kids and 152 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: teaching kids of remarkable things that change you. It really 153 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: is a lifetime together. 154 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 2: At camp, there were no cell phones, no distractions from 155 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 2: the outside world, and in this bubble, Kelsey knew she 156 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 2: was developing feelings from Morgan, but she was in a 157 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 2: leadership role, and then there was this. 158 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: Camp relationships are famously passionate and intense and destructive, which 159 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: is why we avoid them at all costs. 160 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 2: So they continued on with a supercharged friendship. It was 161 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 2: a connection Morgan needed at home. She'd been struggling with 162 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 2: an eating disorder. 163 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: She had shared that she was really struggling with her 164 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: eating dis order at camp and eating with your campers 165 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: is such a huge part of the experience, Like you're 166 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: with your campers twenty four to seven, and we're really 167 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 1: rigid at camp about calory intake and water intake. 168 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 2: That kind of structure and vigilance around food was really 169 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 2: triggering for Morgan. In fact, it was having an impact 170 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 2: on her job performance. 171 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: She had gotten disciplinary write ups from the camp director. 172 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 1: If she didn't get it under control, this was not 173 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: going to be the job for her. 174 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 2: The idea of losing Morgan a camp was upsetting. Kelsey 175 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 2: felt a responsibility to help as both a friend and 176 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 2: a camp executive. 177 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: And so she was really nervous about losing her job 178 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: because she really loved the work. I remember spending all 179 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: of my free time. I got books from the local 180 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: library and brought them up to camp and was reading 181 00:09:55,800 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: about eating disorders. Like I really became her resource to staying. 182 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: I was like, I'll help you stay. Don't worry. I've 183 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: got this under control. And I really felt responsible for that. 184 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 1: They were spending a lot of time together. Even when 185 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: they had days off. We would travel as friends, like 186 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 1: off to go to Walmart and get face wipes, or 187 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: to a local festival. We tried to get as much 188 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: time off from camp as possible. My outside of camp 189 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,199 Speaker 1: time be king Morgan time. 190 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 2: About halfway through the summer, they took a day off 191 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 2: together and drove to Kelsey's. 192 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: Hometown and I just think there was this little switch. 193 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: One weekend, we were just alone for the first time 194 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 1: really together, and then we kissed. 195 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 2: Now it was clear that the attraction was mutual. 196 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 1: After that week, we started sharing like a journal. So 197 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: we had a notebook that we would write notes to 198 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: each other and then keep it in a cubby, and 199 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: then I'd write it put it away, and she'd write 200 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: it and put it away, and so we sort of 201 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: had this very romance at camp. 202 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,959 Speaker 2: Near the end of camp, Morgan's parents came to town. 203 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 2: They were devout Mormons, and on that visit, Morgan wanted 204 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 2: to come out to them. Kelsey drove her to meet them, 205 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 2: to be there for emotional support. 206 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: She met with her parents and I wasn't with her. 207 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: I was in the parking lot, but I remember seeing 208 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,440 Speaker 1: them at a picnic bench. She came out to them 209 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: and it didn't go well. She got back in the car. 210 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: She was like, they believe I'm living in sin. They 211 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: think this is wrong. They think that any person who 212 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: had influence over me is of the devil, and that 213 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: I should separate myself from those people. She was really 214 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: really emotional about it. 215 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 2: Her parents rejection brought the two of them even closer. 216 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,200 Speaker 1: It sort of deepened that connection. It was like, look 217 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 1: what we're fighting for. 218 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,079 Speaker 2: There was so much at stake, and Morgan was now 219 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 2: left on our own. They made their relationship official, and 220 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 2: when camp ended, Morgan couldn't go home, so they decided 221 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 2: to move in together. 222 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: We were all like, what cow adult, We are well 223 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: of her own space and our own beds. So it 224 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: wasn't like, oh, I live with my girlfriend now. It 225 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: was very much like we were just continuing the summer 226 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: camp experience. I think we were on that high of 227 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,199 Speaker 1: the Summer Fling. 228 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,079 Speaker 2: It was Kelsey's last year of college. At first, living 229 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 2: with Morgan was a novelty. Even mundane tasks were exciting. 230 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: Figuring out bus schedules, like everything was just really fun. 231 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: I also remember doing paintball fights and making cookies and 232 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: burning them for the neighbors. 233 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 2: But soon reality set in. 234 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: I was working also a full time job while I 235 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: was in school because I had to pay for it. 236 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: I was doing everything to put me on the trajectory 237 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,360 Speaker 1: to go to my master's program, and at this point 238 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: I was on track to be valedictorian. 239 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 2: Kelsey's priority was school. 240 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: We just weren't getting as much time together and we're 241 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: like drifting a little bit. 242 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 2: But right when the semester began picking up steam, Kelsey 243 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 2: started receiving emails from Morgan's family. 244 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: I remember them very explicitly. One was from her dad. 245 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 1: One was from her mom, saying that it was an 246 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 1: abomination that I was poisoning Morgan, that I took her 247 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: away from the life of Christ. It didn't help that 248 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 1: the person Morgan was waiting for it to come back 249 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: from a mission had come back and they had really 250 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: hoped that she would marry him. Every time I got 251 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: a message from them, it was very nasty. 252 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 2: The message was clear. They thought Kelsey brainwashed their daughter, 253 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 2: and they wanted her to leave Morgan alone. 254 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: Morgan's very sacred and pure. Stop this now before you 255 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 1: ruin that forever for her, like they deeply wanted to 256 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 1: make me hate myself, so I didn't feel deserving of Morgan. 257 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 2: The messages were overwhelming. 258 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: After a couple months, it got complicated very quickly. It 259 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: was just that feeling of thinking that I was destroying 260 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: someone's salvation. 261 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 2: It was taxing, but Morgan was fixated. All she wanted 262 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 2: to do was talk about her parents with Kelsey. 263 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 1: It's like I'm with you, I care about you, but like, 264 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 1: I can't process this with you all the time. I 265 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: think I started feeling like she needs to branch out, 266 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: like I realistically can't be everything for her. 267 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 2: Between the stress of school and the drama with Morgan's parents, 268 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 2: Kelsey's connection with Morgan was fading. 269 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: That intimate connection felt like stayed at camp. In the 270 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 1: real world, it was kind of hard to sustain because 271 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 1: I had a lot of ambition. I was really excited 272 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 1: about starting my life somewhere new, and it just suddenly 273 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is kind of affecting my ability 274 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: to be president work in school, and I'm really rigid 275 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: about doing right by my career. 276 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 2: So Kelsey made a tough decision. 277 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: Ultimately, I came home from school one day and said, 278 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: this is not what I want anymore, and I think 279 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: it's better if we break up. She said okay, and 280 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 1: then left, which she would do a lot when she 281 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: was trying to process something. She would go for a run. 282 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: So she went for a run and came back and 283 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: I was already asleep, and she was asleep, and we 284 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: went to bed. 285 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 2: The next day, Kelsey came home from school to find 286 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 2: Morgan on their couch in tears. There was something she 287 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 2: needed to tell Kelsey. 288 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 1: I sat down with her and she had explained that 289 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: she had been hiding something from me that she didn't 290 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: want to talk to me about because she didn't want 291 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 1: to burden me with it. But she just got really 292 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: bad news. I honestly thought at the time that it 293 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: was something with her parents, but it wasn't about her parents. 294 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 1: That's when she shared that she had been living with 295 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: terminal bone cancer and she was in remission, but her 296 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: doctors gave her the prognosis when she was at the 297 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: doctor today that she had three months to live. 298 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 2: Just when Kelsey thought her relationship with Morgan was over, 299 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 2: Morgan came to her with devastating news. She had bone 300 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 2: cancer and she was Kelsey was no stranger to cancer. 301 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 2: She grew up watching her mother's breast cancer go into 302 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 2: remission and return again. It was a horrible cycle, and 303 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,120 Speaker 2: to think another person she loved was going through this 304 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 2: was hard to fathom. 305 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,639 Speaker 1: I don't think I got it at first. 306 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,119 Speaker 2: Morgan had known about the diagnosis all along, but she 307 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 2: was just telling her now that the cancer had returned 308 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: when she only had three months to live. 309 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 1: I asked her more details. She said she was diagnosed 310 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,440 Speaker 1: when she first went to college. She had an injury, 311 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 1: a bone break. They did some testing and they discovered 312 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: that she had cancer. She was fighting it for about 313 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 1: a semester, but she beat that bout and then hadn't 314 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,880 Speaker 1: had Overcurrence until that day. 315 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,439 Speaker 2: She was so flooded with grief for Morgan that the 316 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 2: breakup became an afterthought. 317 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: I remember feeling so deeply sabbed because my breakup with 318 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 1: Morgan was never about not loving her. I cared about 319 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:16,399 Speaker 1: her so deeply. The thought of her dying was insane 320 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:21,640 Speaker 1: to me and felt so unfair, especially to have this 321 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 1: prognosis with her family not being very close. I was 322 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: devastated for her. We were sobbing, and then we went 323 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: to bed and I remember holding her, thinking, no, no, 324 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,360 Speaker 1: this is like my partner going through cancer. This isn't oh, 325 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,560 Speaker 1: my ex girlfriend from yesterday. This was someone I love 326 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,919 Speaker 1: so deeply dying Like this really is the end of 327 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 1: someone's life. 328 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,879 Speaker 2: The next morning, Kelsey woke up with a new perspective. 329 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: It changed the way I framed our relationship. I felt 330 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 1: grateful that she was alive, and I was ready to 331 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: figure this out together. 332 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 2: So she sat down at the kitchen table with her 333 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 2: laptop and a notepad to talk about what this would mean. Luckily, 334 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 2: Morgan had some answers. 335 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,400 Speaker 1: She's like, I already have a plan with my doctor. 336 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: We're gonna start treatment. It's really unlikely that I'll survive 337 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 1: this treatment, but it's worthy of taking a shot. And 338 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: so that's what she did. 339 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,199 Speaker 2: During the day, Kelsey would attend class for her senior 340 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 2: year of college, and Morgan would spend the day at 341 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:29,440 Speaker 2: the hospital. 342 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: The next few weeks, she was doing treatment all the time, 343 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 1: like four or five times a week. She would leave 344 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:40,159 Speaker 1: the house and come back really tired and struggle to 345 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 1: keep a conversation, struggle to stay awake. She was just 346 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: deeply impacted by the treatment. 347 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 2: Quickly, Kelsey took on a care take her role. 348 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: I started really doing some research and taking care of her. 349 00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 2: I was making meals once again. She was juggling the 350 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 2: weight of school and being there for Morgan. 351 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 1: I distinctly remember trying to complete homework and being like, 352 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 1: I can't finish this. She's puking somewhere, thinking like, get 353 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 1: your priority straight. This is someone's life, this is the 354 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: end of their human life, and you're worried about like 355 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,439 Speaker 1: not finishing this math problem, Like why was I wasting 356 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,679 Speaker 1: my time on these early morning classes for like my 357 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,200 Speaker 1: own benefit when she only had a few months left 358 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: to live. I just suddenly felt selfish and stupid. And 359 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 1: that's really the moment that I reframed my entire life. 360 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 2: The first time in her life, Kelsey let school take 361 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:37,880 Speaker 2: a back seat. 362 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: I was letting go of a lot of things I'd 363 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 1: worked my whole life toward. But I was like, I 364 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,119 Speaker 1: can do this for three months for somebody to enjoy 365 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 1: the last few months of their life. 366 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 2: Christmas was a few weeks away. With Morgan's family out 367 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 2: of the picture, they decided to celebrate with a family front. 368 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 2: An older woman named Joanne, who'd been a mentor to Morgan. 369 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: For years, considered her like a second mom. We drove 370 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 1: out of state to visit her. This family friend was 371 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: with her when Morgan got her first diagnosis of having 372 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 1: bone cancer, and she was with her when she was 373 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 1: doing IVY treatments. To meet someone who was so intimately 374 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 1: involved with her treatment, I felt really bonded right away. 375 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 1: I remember her saying, I didn't even know what I 376 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: was doing. I just got kind of thrown into this 377 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 1: and I was like, I didn't know what I was 378 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 1: doing either. 379 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 2: It was a relief to talk with someone else who'd 380 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 2: been involved with Morgan's care. She was a great resource. 381 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,400 Speaker 2: For Christmas, Morgan and Kelsey got each other something special. 382 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 1: We got rings for our wedding. 383 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,479 Speaker 2: Rings for their wedding. Morgan wanted to get married to Kelsey. 384 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,960 Speaker 2: It was a legal and financial decision. 385 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 1: Her attorney had shared with her that when she died, 386 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 1: her health payout would be really big and it would 387 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,719 Speaker 1: go to her parents because that's next of kin, and 388 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 1: that was really over for her, Like she had fought 389 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 1: so hard for her queerness and now suddenly in her 390 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: death as a queer woman, all this money would be 391 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: granted to her parents. But if she were married to me, 392 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: then I would get to decide where that money goes. 393 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 2: Morgan wanted the money to be donated to a library foundation. 394 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 2: Kelsey was honored to help facilitate one of her final wishes. 395 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,720 Speaker 1: Of course, whatever you need to do, what you want 396 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 1: to do with the end of your life, so for 397 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: her this was a really meaningful way of honoring her life. 398 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: So we agreed that we would get married. 399 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,399 Speaker 2: Kelsey felt a responsibility to make sure every day was 400 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:43,119 Speaker 2: a good day. 401 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 1: I tried to make our life so joyful and loving 402 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 1: and silly, and that's how we just tried to spend 403 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: our time. We didn't have very much left, but. 404 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 2: The days were still difficult, especially as Morgan's health worsened. 405 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 1: She would go to treatment and come back and throw up. 406 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 1: She was tired all the time. I remember coming home 407 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 1: from work and she'd have like fallen over. She seemed 408 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 1: very weak to me. And this is also how my 409 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 1: mom would describe her treatments going through breast cancer. Morgan 410 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,160 Speaker 1: would like lose her hair. I'd come home and she'd 411 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 1: have taken a nap and she'd have hair on the pillow. 412 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,400 Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh my god, your hair. 413 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,680 Speaker 2: This only furthered Kelsey's resolve to support Morgan. She offered 414 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 2: again to go to the hospital with her, to be 415 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 2: by her side as she got treatment. Morgan said no, 416 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,479 Speaker 2: she didn't want to be a burden. 417 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,399 Speaker 1: She was very very clear that this was her private 418 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 1: journey and that she had already burdened me enough and 419 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,959 Speaker 1: she didn't want me to lose work or the school. 420 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 2: After all, it was Kelsey's job that kept them afloat financially. 421 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,159 Speaker 2: As the weeks went on, the treatment seemed to be 422 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 2: slowing the progression of her cancer, and Morgan hit the 423 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 2: three month mark. 424 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: By that time, we had gotten word that she'd beat 425 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 1: that bout of cancer. There was a lot of medical language, 426 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: but essentially it was like, we're doing good. Hold on, 427 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,679 Speaker 1: not you'll live, but like, I'm feeling okay today and 428 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: for the next couple of weeks because I think this 429 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:18,480 Speaker 1: treatment is working. 430 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,640 Speaker 2: For the past three months, Kelsey had been bracing herself 431 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 2: for the end, putting her all into caring for Morgan. 432 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:28,199 Speaker 2: It had been exhausting. 433 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,520 Speaker 1: I still worked full time. I still finished my degree. 434 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 1: By the time graduation came around, I just like barely 435 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: made it. Like I barely emotionally, physically, spiritually made it. 436 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,959 Speaker 1: I just remember being an empty person when my family 437 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,639 Speaker 1: came for graduation. I just felt like nothing. 438 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,159 Speaker 2: In her last semester, she earned b's and c's, and 439 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 2: her dreams of being valedictorian were dashed. Instead of giving 440 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 2: the valedictorian speech, she applied to be an honorary student 441 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,440 Speaker 2: speaker at commencement. 442 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 1: I was able to stand alongside the valedictorian, which would 443 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: have been me and share my story about what happened 444 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 1: with my partner, like what it really meant for me 445 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,120 Speaker 1: to give up my schooling in order to help someone 446 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:19,600 Speaker 1: I loved. 447 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 2: After she graduated, they finally had the time to plant 448 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 2: a small wedding ceremony. At the time, same sex marriage 449 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 2: wasn't legal in their state, so they had to travel. 450 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: She didn't feel good enough to fly, but she did 451 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 1: feel good enough to drive, so that's when we booked 452 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 1: our trip for our wedding ceremony. 453 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,439 Speaker 2: Kelsey drove them to California, with Morgan asleep in a 454 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,160 Speaker 2: passenger seat. Along the way, they camped in national parks. 455 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: There was something really beautiful and intimate. It felt like 456 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: the end to me. She just didn't seem all there, 457 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: but there's something about being in nature together, and our 458 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,200 Speaker 1: dynamics started in nature. It was actually really beautiful the 459 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:10,320 Speaker 1: whole trip. We took disposable cameras and it was very 460 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: fleeting and lovely. And I remember one of the nights, 461 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,359 Speaker 1: just before we had our ceremony, we slept on the 462 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: beach of the Lost Coast, and there was something really 463 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,320 Speaker 1: poetic about waking up. Morgan was still sleeping and I 464 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 1: got out of the tent and like looked out into 465 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: the ocean and just thought, like, if I can love 466 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:34,439 Speaker 1: someone this big one day after Morgan's passing, someone will 467 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 1: be able to love me in this way. 468 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 2: Back the day before the ceremony, they both sat down 469 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 2: to write their vowels. 470 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:50,199 Speaker 1: We wrote our vows on like hotel nap kiss, like 471 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 1: my white dresses in the corner. I'm like sitting down 472 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 1: with this piece of paper, and I suddenly didn't know 473 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: what to say. It's like, vows are for promising to someone, 474 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,920 Speaker 1: but I don't know how to promise something to her 475 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: in her death. Like it just suddenly felt wrong. 476 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,200 Speaker 2: Maybe it was nerves she couldn't help but overthink the 477 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 2: whole thing. 478 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: I got a stopping into my head and so I 479 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 1: like kind of cleared my head of everything. And this 480 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:21,840 Speaker 1: was the commitment she made, promising her that the memory 481 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 1: of her. 482 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 2: And who I knew her to be, and. 483 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,879 Speaker 1: Like the love that people didn't get the chance to know, 484 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: especially her family, that would live on. 485 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 2: They delivered their vowels and signed the papers. In Sequoia National. 486 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:44,639 Speaker 1: Park, we drove into the woods and found a really 487 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,160 Speaker 1: neat tree that was two trees that like corpsecrewed into 488 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 1: one and there was like one little spot where you 489 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 1: could squeeze into, and so we squeezed into these trees. 490 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: Then signed the paperwork and we left. 491 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 2: Being officially married was a relief. It was the final 492 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 2: thing Morgan wanted to do before she passed away. 493 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 1: We drove back from California and I was like driving 494 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 1: into the sun as it was going down, thinking, I 495 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,440 Speaker 1: know in my heart that I'd done everything that I 496 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,400 Speaker 1: possibly can for Morgan to feel love. Twel I felt 497 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,000 Speaker 1: like I had finished what I needed to do. I 498 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: remember her looking at me with a lot of love 499 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: and like she saw me as a wife. Like I 500 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 1: almost felt her relief, like Okay, got it, Everything's going 501 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 1: to be okay. I obviously interpret that differently. 502 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 2: Now, in less than a year, Kelsey and Morgan went 503 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 2: from being twenty one year old at camp to being 504 00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 2: a married couple handling a terminal disease. Now they were 505 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 2: committed to each other for however much time Morgan had left, 506 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 2: Kelsey had been accepted into a master's program across the country. 507 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 2: Neither of them expected Morgan to be. 508 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 1: Alive for that next chapter. We're legally married, and now 509 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: it's a little complicated because I don't know how to 510 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 1: bring up like how am I supposed to navigate the 511 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,200 Speaker 1: next few months. 512 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,280 Speaker 2: Morgan's successful treatment meant she had more time she could 513 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 2: take a break from treatment, but her cancer was still 514 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 2: deemed terminal. No one knew how long she really had left, 515 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 2: not even her doctors. 516 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 1: It was very much like, this is what we've been told, 517 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: and we're lucky to have this little bit of extra time. 518 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: It was suddenly another continuation, another chapter of live like 519 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 1: you're dying. 520 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 2: Kelsey didn't know what this meant for her plans to 521 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 2: start graduate school. She barely got through her last semester. 522 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 1: I was really conflicted. I was like, oh, no, this 523 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: is everything I've worked for and I can still go. 524 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 1: I still got in and I can still do it, 525 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: but I can't because it's gonna be with Morgan. And 526 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: I'm grateful that she's still alive. I'm truly grateful, but 527 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: I also feel like I've lost myself and I don't 528 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 1: know how to gain it back if she's still here. 529 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: Like I hadn't planned for it. 530 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,800 Speaker 2: She was worried about juggling her master's program and supporting 531 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 2: Morgan at the same time. She didn't even know if 532 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 2: she could handle that, but she decided. 533 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,880 Speaker 1: I said we would do this, and we're married now, 534 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,959 Speaker 1: and so now we're going to travel across the country 535 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: and start my masters together. 536 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 2: They rented a U haul and began the cross country drive. 537 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 2: Along the way, they made a pit stop to see 538 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 2: joe Ann Morgan's mentor. 539 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 1: She was sort of our middle point between the West 540 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 1: Coast and the East Coast. And when we got to 541 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: her place, I immediately sensed that there was some sort 542 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: of tension between them, like maybe an argument had been 543 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 1: had and I didn't know about it. I just felt 544 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: like we were kind of dancing around something that was unsaid. 545 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 2: It was clear something had come between Joanne and Morgan. 546 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,000 Speaker 2: Joanne said she wanted to talk to Kelsey in private, 547 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 2: but they just couldn't find the right moment. At the 548 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,440 Speaker 2: end of their stay. 549 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: I could tell that she was holding back from saying something, 550 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: but she just said Okay, good luck, and that was it. 551 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: So there was sort of this mystery about this odd 552 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,480 Speaker 1: dynamic we had walked away from, and that made me nervous. 553 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 1: I distinctly remember being in the U hall and Moorkan 554 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 1: being asleep next to me and thinking we're about to 555 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: move to a new state. I don't know anyone in. 556 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 1: She doesn't know anyone in. We have no friends or family, 557 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,479 Speaker 1: and the one really close family connection that she has 558 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 1: she sort of just had a rupture with. It was 559 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 1: really the first time I thought like, oh, this is 560 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: really just us now. 561 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 2: When they arrived in their new city, they had to 562 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:12,040 Speaker 2: face the reality of living alone. Kelsey found a job 563 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:16,120 Speaker 2: in hospitality while she started her master's degree, but Morgan 564 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,680 Speaker 2: was too sick to work. 565 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 1: And the reality of affording grad school, working full time, 566 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 1: going to school full time, paying for both of our lives, 567 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:35,160 Speaker 1: and also paying for cancer treatments medicines was really a 568 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: tremendous burden. 569 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 2: Kelsey was only twenty two and she was the sole provider. 570 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 2: Morgan found new doctors, and now that they were married, 571 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 2: Kelsey was paying for more of Morgan's care. 572 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 1: I would say like twenty five percent of every paycheck 573 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 1: was going to Morgan, and so after a couple months 574 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: of being on the East Coast, it was like thousands 575 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 1: and thousands of dollars we were pouring into anything related 576 00:32:58,840 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 1: to her health. 577 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,400 Speaker 2: Became hyper fixated on financials. 578 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: I remember specifically googling what it actually costs if someone dies. 579 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 1: She wanted to be cremated, and I just remember looking 580 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 1: at this fifteen hundred dollars price tag thinking I'm never 581 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 1: going to get what I need to cremate her. 582 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 2: But she found it hard to have open conversations with Morgan. 583 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: About it because she didn't want to talk about death. 584 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 1: It was just like every tiny little thing was overwhelmingly 585 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: my responsibility. 586 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 2: It had been a year since Morgan shared her diagnosis. 587 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,200 Speaker 2: Even though Kelsey was now paying for Morgan's care, she 588 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 2: still wasn't privy to the details of it. 589 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,719 Speaker 1: I wasn't even sure how to broach the topic of like, 590 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: can we go together to your doctor to get an 591 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 1: update on what we can look at? Can we reassess 592 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 1: your medications? 593 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 2: But Morgan didn't want to talk about it. She wanted 594 00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 2: to do everything alone, and that worried Kel's. 595 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: What happens if I don't know where you are, how 596 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 1: do I get like your health wreck? Like there was 597 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: suddenly some logistics that didn't really have the answers to. 598 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,880 Speaker 2: The lack of information was becoming a real problem for Kelsey. 599 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,239 Speaker 2: It became a wedge in their relationship. 600 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:19,120 Speaker 1: This is where things started shifting in our dynamic where 601 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:22,160 Speaker 1: it's like I need real concrete answers, what is your 602 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: current prognosis, Like how is your body doing? Where is 603 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 1: the cancer in your body? 604 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 2: Without any answers, she was getting frustrated. She felt like 605 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 2: she couldn't help Morgan if she didn't have all the information. 606 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 2: That year, they spent Christmas with Kelsey's family. 607 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 1: We flew home. Morgan was so sick that she could 608 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 1: barely even talk. She was lethargic, she was sleeping all 609 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:50,359 Speaker 1: the time, she was throwing up. Whatever new medication, whatever 610 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,719 Speaker 1: new treatment she was trying, was really taxing. Like I 611 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 1: remember taking photos together that trip, and she's sleeping in 612 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:58,600 Speaker 1: all of them. 613 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,160 Speaker 2: This was the second in time they thought it was 614 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,200 Speaker 2: their last Christmas together, and it was the first time 615 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,200 Speaker 2: Kelsey's mom was getting to really spend time with Morgan. 616 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,799 Speaker 1: My mom had pulled me aside at some point during 617 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,840 Speaker 1: this holiday, and she was the first one to be like, 618 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,839 Speaker 1: does this seem off at all to you? And it 619 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 1: was really the first time someone said something that made 620 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 1: me think, like, what do you mean off? I was 621 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:23,759 Speaker 1: immediately defensive. 622 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,640 Speaker 2: Still, Kelsey's mom insisted that something didn't add up. She 623 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,720 Speaker 2: was starting to feel skeptical about Morgan's story. 624 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 1: My mom, who obviously has experience of cancer, was like, 625 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 1: it just feels off, Like when she's around us, something 626 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:41,800 Speaker 1: feels off. 627 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 2: Before this moment, Kelsey had never doubted Morgan's diagnosis. For 628 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:53,120 Speaker 2: nearly two years, her entire life revolved around Morgan's health. 629 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,880 Speaker 1: I had felt like a bad person for even feeling 630 00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 1: burdened by cancer. I had never considered doubting it at all. 631 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 1: But this is when I started to feel doubtful. And 632 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,280 Speaker 1: that was when she started breaking bones. 633 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,400 Speaker 2: On the next episode of Betrayal. 634 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:25,000 Speaker 1: I got a Facebook message She's like, I've been down 635 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:29,600 Speaker 1: a rabbit hole about Morgan. I have proof there's a 636 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 1: lot more to the story. And that's when it really 637 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 1: blew open. 638 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,040 Speaker 2: If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal 639 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,960 Speaker 2: team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email 640 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,560 Speaker 2: us at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal 641 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 2: Pod at gmail dot com. We're grateful for your support. 642 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 1: One way to. 643 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 2: Show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple 644 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,959 Speaker 2: Podcasts and don't forget to rate and review Betrayal five 645 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,399 Speaker 2: star reviews. Goal Line a big thank you to all 646 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,239 Speaker 2: of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, 647 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,839 Speaker 2: a division of Glass Entertainment Group and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. 648 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,360 Speaker 2: The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, 649 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 2: hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced 650 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:22,320 Speaker 2: by Monique le Board, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Associate 651 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,239 Speaker 2: producers are Kristin Mercury and Caitlin Golden. Our iHeart team 652 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,800 Speaker 2: is Ali Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing and mixing 653 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,840 Speaker 2: by Matt del Vecchio, Additional editing support from Tanner Robbins. 654 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 2: Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by 655 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,759 Speaker 2: Mob Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the 656 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.