Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a terminol and gay a.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off InStyle. We want to
Speaker 3: welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Now? Porn? Do you
Speaker 1: need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you
Speaker 1: need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need.
Speaker 1: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need ride?
Speaker 1: This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Tilgareth.
Speaker 4: We are transmitting to you via zoom maybe one of
Speaker 4: the last times. I mean, we're coming up soon, we
Speaker 4: will be in the car. I'm counting down the days
Speaker 4: to where we're back in the car.
Speaker 5: I can't wait to be back in the car so much,
Speaker 5: only because I feel like being in the car.
Speaker 1: Is the third lead of this podcast. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 4: It is what sparked most of our conversation. I'm realizing
Speaker 4: now because now we're just going back to the same
Speaker 4: things we used to drive by. You know, people getting
Speaker 4: in fights at bus stops, nearer accidents, laws, so many
Speaker 4: times we were threatened and it then sparked wonderful conversation
Speaker 4: where we saw eye to eye or we gotten a
Speaker 4: heated discussion about whether or not the person should have
Speaker 4: been threatening us.
Speaker 1: So much.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but now we do it all ourselves the way
Speaker 5: everyone else has to in quarantine.
Speaker 1: It's diy good time, just talking in circles, referencing the
Speaker 1: same things we did last time. We're all going crazy,
Speaker 1: that's right. And today our guest to go crazy with
Speaker 1: us and.
Speaker 5: For us is a great comedian who is truly one
Speaker 5: of my favorite performers to watch.
Speaker 1: And she has just started her.
Speaker 5: Own podcast on the Exactly Right Network called That's Messed Up,
Speaker 5: a Law and Order SVU podcast, which is already a hit.
Speaker 5: So please everybody welcome Kara Klank.
Speaker 6: Oh, thank you guys. So great to be here. I'm
Speaker 6: not going to try to replace the third character that
Speaker 6: is the car, but I'm going to do what I
Speaker 6: can on.
Speaker 5: Just think car thoughts as we all dig into this.
Speaker 4: Yeah it just if I think of you as a car,
Speaker 4: I think of the car character that which is teen wheels.
Speaker 1: Is it teen wheels? I can't? Yeah, the one you
Speaker 1: posted a horrifying gift of.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, it's a human, a teenager. I don't know
Speaker 4: if it happens when he gets upset or just he
Speaker 4: has control over it. He has trouble turning back into
Speaker 4: a teenager, but he turns into his car.
Speaker 6: I think it's when he gets a boner, he turns
Speaker 6: into it. I think, yeah, that's what it was. It
Speaker 6: was hard for them to be a first, to wait
Speaker 6: for it to pass before he came back into it.
Speaker 1: This was a soft core cartoon.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Saturday morning, softcore animated porn for kids. This kid
Speaker 4: would get turned off and then his letterman jacket would
Speaker 4: slowly rip away and he'd become a trans am.
Speaker 6: And children everywhere. I actually am having a vague memory
Speaker 6: of this. Chris the Show, Yes it is it? Turbotine? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 6: rotine wheels or turbotine. It is turbotine, Karen, turbotine. I
Speaker 6: think you're exactly right.
Speaker 5: Or was that my Christian group that I belong to?
Speaker 5: Your high I can't remember the turbotines.
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 6: We've talked about our love God. It's turbocharge.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that would be the ultimate dinarch cast.
Speaker 5: I have to make it an admission that I feel
Speaker 5: very embarrassed about because I've described you before, Kara as
Speaker 5: one of those people that if I walk into a
Speaker 5: party and see you, I'm so fucking relieved and I
Speaker 5: know I have an anchor and a.
Speaker 1: Place to go, so so I feel it's this compliment.
Speaker 5: I feel close to you, and you also remind me
Speaker 5: of many of my cousins, So I just feel like
Speaker 5: that thing of like I already know you, but every
Speaker 5: time I go to say your name, and your name
Speaker 5: is the beginning of my fucking name. And yet every
Speaker 5: time a voice in my head goes it might be Kara.
Speaker 5: It might be every single time, and I think, now
Speaker 5: I've known you.
Speaker 1: For eight years.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, that's really I just want to pre apologize
Speaker 5: and just I want to put it out there because
Speaker 5: it is has turned into like Georgia at one point.
Speaker 6: It's just like it's Kara like Karen, where I'm like,
Speaker 6: I know, I know, that is so funny. It is
Speaker 6: truly your name minus like two letters. But yeah, a
Speaker 6: lot of people know Akara, so then it's just hard
Speaker 6: to switch it.
Speaker 1: Do you know.
Speaker 6: Kara's yep, I sure do. Yeah, that's my husband's manager.
Speaker 6: Is Carra spelled the exact same way as mine. And
Speaker 6: I'll tell you something. She got us a baby gift
Speaker 6: for our child, very nice, but we just didn't need it.
Speaker 6: So I went on Amazon. I talked to the chat
Speaker 6: guy and I was like, I just want to return that.
Speaker 6: She's not gonna, know, right, she's not gonna because we
Speaker 6: have the same name. They emailed her being like here
Speaker 6: are the items you returned? Oh no, and it's like,
Speaker 6: I'll never live it down. I'll never live it down.
Speaker 4: So arras see, I get the same anxiety with your
Speaker 4: last name. I know it's clink and I want to
Speaker 4: say clank like I'm a talking pot and or pan.
Speaker 6: Yeah it is an atom monopoetic last name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you could say clankrever you want.
Speaker 6: And honestly, I think when I was younger, I was
Speaker 6: like it's Kara, and now I truly don't care, like
Speaker 6: especially like a brit like a British person being like, hell, Okara,
Speaker 6: I love that, you know? Yeah, yeah, you guys, you
Speaker 6: know who you are. It's the pandemic. Call me whatever
Speaker 6: you want.
Speaker 5: All I have to do is do me and be
Speaker 5: like say your own fucking name and don't finish it.
Speaker 1: That's all you have to do it's all. Just start
Speaker 1: calling care from now on, like just you don't have
Speaker 1: to deal with the end of it.
Speaker 5: Make up make up a weird funny nickname, if I may,
Speaker 5: we could actually since it is the holiday season, because
Speaker 5: Hanukkah did start last night. Yes, well I don't know when,
Speaker 5: not for when we posted this, but for when we're
Speaker 5: recording it. Yes, but that reminds me of my most
Speaker 5: humiliating gift thing that ever happened, which was when I
Speaker 5: worked on the Ellen Show. They used to give us presents,
Speaker 5: you know, really nice end of the year presence, and
Speaker 5: this one year was it was like when iPods.
Speaker 1: It was like and the iPod that was really thick.
Speaker 5: It almost looked like it was like a little rectangle
Speaker 5: that was probably half an inch wide, like a wheel
Speaker 5: that actually moved.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that one, okay.
Speaker 5: And it was like at the time, very advanced technology,
Speaker 5: very exciting, and we used to get so many free things,
Speaker 5: especially I did on that show that I had like
Speaker 5: a closet of electronics that I would just pull stuff
Speaker 5: down and wrap it to give people gifts. And so
Speaker 5: it was my friend Nancy Vezzi's baby shower and I
Speaker 5: adored her. She was the best. And I didn't know
Speaker 5: any of her friends. I was one of the separate friends.
Speaker 5: And it was this beautiful baby shower at shutters in
Speaker 5: Santa Monica. So I pulled down that iPod because I
Speaker 5: was like, ooh, I love Nancy and I bet she'd
Speaker 5: love this, and like, you know, when your mom you
Speaker 5: can rock the baby and listen whatever.
Speaker 1: I thought it was the perfect gift.
Speaker 5: She opens it up, she loves it, turns it over.
Speaker 1: It has the Ellen logo of god, it was a
Speaker 1: special edition. Yeah, I thought I was going to doe
Speaker 1: coincidence that I work on that show and I got
Speaker 1: the special edition Ellen iPod from this fancy Ellen fan.
Speaker 1: She didn't care. She Ellen right, she did.
Speaker 5: She worked on Kimmel. Everyone there worked in TV. They
Speaker 5: knew exactly what I did. They it was a blatant
Speaker 5: gree gift public and in front of strangers, where I
Speaker 5: just kept staring at Nancy because I was like, I'm
Speaker 5: so sorry, because like, I really love it. I honestly do.
Speaker 5: I don't care, I really love it. I was just like,
Speaker 5: I'm this is the worst day of my life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is embarrassing, but that's still an iPod, and
Speaker 4: let's not forget who else loves iPods babies and that
Speaker 4: baby didn't care when it was rocking to it's toddler tunes.
Speaker 1: To the Eagle's greatest hits, which all babies love, Babies
Speaker 1: want to be born in Hotel.
Speaker 5: California, Guess who has a baby here has a baby?
Speaker 1: Not us, It's oh, it's me. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Last time I was, Last time I was in the car,
Speaker 6: I was like about to pop. I feel like I was.
Speaker 6: I was a couple weeks away from bringing this baby
Speaker 6: into the world. And now here she is repeating everything
Speaker 6: I say, including oh fuck all the time.
Speaker 4: Yoh, that's that and that'll go away if you if
Speaker 4: you didn't know when.
Speaker 6: To say it. I mean, she just kind of says it.
Speaker 6: I hear just saying it walking up and down the hallway.
Speaker 1: She too.
Speaker 6: Now she's going to be two in April, so she's
Speaker 6: twenty months. If you're on the whole counting months thing,
Speaker 6: and we are, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys, I know I do it by weeks. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm very specific. Does a two year old walk?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh she motors everywhere?
Speaker 6: Oh that well she's not she's not even too but
Speaker 6: she's been walking since she was like a little over
Speaker 6: a year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, on the course. Even I walked it too,
Speaker 1: and I was not a little bit.
Speaker 6: You know, kids have all different milestones, but I had
Speaker 6: an early a regular walker.
Speaker 1: She walked at a regular time. She's in the ninetieth
Speaker 1: percentile though, I can feel it. I wait.
Speaker 4: Yes, I was gifted with things like math and reading,
Speaker 4: but I was a late pants shitter. So you know
Speaker 4: every kid has their different Yeah, you know, we.
Speaker 1: Got her a little toilet.
Speaker 5: She takes it out, she sits on it with her
Speaker 5: clothes on, and that's it. She's not really no, she's
Speaker 5: not into the hole.
Speaker 1: She's like she gets paper for that. Yeah, she clearly
Speaker 1: gets it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, even if a kid is sitting on that toilet
Speaker 4: with pants on and shitting their pants on the toilet
Speaker 4: seated position, that's still a win.
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, that's get it. It's going in the
Speaker 1: right direction. Yeah, she's not like, she's not over.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't want one of these kids that immediately
Speaker 4: sticks their head in the toilet because you know they're
Speaker 4: going to be a drunk.
Speaker 5: I used to stand in the toilet, oh because like yeah,
Speaker 5: because I kind of could like it would be like, well,
Speaker 5: this isn't.
Speaker 1: An interesting like my feet are in water? You always
Speaker 1: wanted to be on stage? Care? Is this funny? Is
Speaker 1: this something? I mean? Am I right?
Speaker 5: This is not common what I'm doing right now. I
Speaker 5: just remember getting caught one time. My Dad's like, what
Speaker 5: the hell are you doing? But I was just like,
Speaker 5: it's funny, it's fun. Come on, doef any like any
Speaker 5: things like that of whiz that she's blown you away
Speaker 5: or shocked you or done like a kid thing.
Speaker 6: Just honestly, she just started like really really talking like
Speaker 6: two months ago, and now we just have full conversations
Speaker 6: and it's really it's really wild.
Speaker 1: But I will I'll tell like an embarrassing little story.
Speaker 6: I did buy a bottle of like cbdt h see
Speaker 6: lube because somebody told me that would be fun.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I just I got it a long time ago.
Speaker 6: I don't even think I've used it much, And it
Speaker 6: was just in my bedside table. She loves to go
Speaker 6: through my bedside table. I think one time she probably
Speaker 6: heard me quietly say to my husband Jared, she's got
Speaker 6: the lube. Now she comes out of the bedroom constantly
Speaker 6: waving it around going lube.
Speaker 1: Oh that's the best.
Speaker 6: She hears like the littlest things that we say one
Speaker 6: time and just you know, so anyway, and now everybody
Speaker 6: knows about my lube and mylube loving baby.
Speaker 4: Yes, these tin these thin Los Angeles walls, Yeah, they
Speaker 4: hear all the wrong things.
Speaker 5: I mean, she definitely heard me say it in front
Speaker 5: of her, like oh yeah, yeah, to please.
Speaker 1: Her little ear to the door.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's like, you now have to start putting everything
Speaker 5: up high, like in a shoe box in the corner
Speaker 5: of the back of the thousand everything.
Speaker 6: But my husband, you know Jared, You guys know Jared Logan,
Speaker 6: and he is, like you nerd. He plays, He plays
Speaker 6: role playing games. So he has like a ton of dice,
Speaker 6: and she's obsessed with dice. She just walks around. When
Speaker 6: I go into her room in the morning, she goes
Speaker 6: play dice, play dice, like first day. So she's either
Speaker 6: going to be a nerd or a gambling addict.
Speaker 1: I don't know, a street Yeah, she'd be playing craps
Speaker 1: on the corner. Yes. Yeah. Do you guys miss Vegas? Uh?
Speaker 5: I miss anything. I literally miss anything you could name. Yeah,
Speaker 5: public other people's bad decisions anything.
Speaker 1: You're right.
Speaker 4: I usually think about Vegas and I'm like, no, thank
Speaker 4: you pretty much to all of it. But I would
Speaker 4: love right now to be in an unclean pool, swimming
Speaker 4: up to a bar and talking to someone with bad breath.
Speaker 1: That's a DJ I would love you from Arizona. Yeah, incredible.
Speaker 1: He happen to be from Phoenix.
Speaker 5: I would be if I right now could play that
Speaker 5: Willy Wonka slot machine. And I don't know if anyone's
Speaker 5: played Willy Wonka, but I think I would stare at
Speaker 5: it like a cockatile looking in the mirror, like it
Speaker 5: would be so entertaining to me.
Speaker 1: At this point of like the Lily Wonka machine.
Speaker 6: Yeah, all of it, anything, just the care free touching
Speaker 6: of buttons and money and bumping, never people looking back.
Speaker 1: Yeah I would.
Speaker 6: I mean, even like the disgusting smoking, I'd be like, well,
Speaker 6: what do we do?
Speaker 1: We're all sharing a common space now, So.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I used to, like I didn't even I wasn't
Speaker 4: that into smoking, but I used to dabble with it,
Speaker 4: and I thought it was so cool that you could
Speaker 4: smoke in an elevator.
Speaker 1: And I don't miss that.
Speaker 4: I don't guess that, but I almost would take it
Speaker 4: just for the interaction.
Speaker 1: I would just see. I did smoke the elevator.
Speaker 6: I did smoke for quite a while, and I was
Speaker 6: still always grossed out by like the special places you
Speaker 6: were allowed to smoke.
Speaker 5: Like when you're allowed to smoke in Vegas. I was
Speaker 5: always like, I can't.
Speaker 6: And then those little I when I was younger, and
Speaker 6: like travel to Europe and there were those little boxes
Speaker 6: in the airport where you can.
Speaker 1: Go, oh my god.
Speaker 6: Once I went in there. One time I went in there,
Speaker 6: I was like, it can't be that bad. And I
Speaker 6: took like one dragon was like this isn't you. We'll
Speaker 6: get out of here.
Speaker 4: And you're in like a human aquarium. It's just people
Speaker 4: walk by judging you. I used to when I smoked,
Speaker 4: I would be in the Salt Lake City had one
Speaker 4: up to the last, like when you could no longer
Speaker 4: have cigarettes and bars, you could still just for the
Speaker 4: novelty of it.
Speaker 1: I remember smoking in there and.
Speaker 4: You would just be with the dredges of society and
Speaker 4: everyone judge you.
Speaker 1: Sadly looking at the ground like smoking. Oh god, gotta
Speaker 1: do it, gotta gotta kick that habit. Yeah, me too,
Speaker 1: me too. Can't believe I ever did it.
Speaker 5: That's a well, you know, it's like it's one of
Speaker 5: those I feel like it's a holdover thing where like
Speaker 5: I remember forcing myself to start smoking freshman year of
Speaker 5: college in the dorms because a friend of ours, our
Speaker 5: friend Julian, got a job giving a tae making poles,
Speaker 5: giving away samples of things and taking of people's opinions.
Speaker 5: And one of the products that he was doing that
Speaker 5: with were Capri cigarettes very thin.
Speaker 1: We love sor oh right love. We would take pictures
Speaker 1: of ourselves smoking Caprice.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, totally like they were basically like the
Speaker 5: girl's entry level cigarette. So we were like, he gave
Speaker 5: us like five cartons of Caprice, so we were just like,
Speaker 5: here we go, we're gonna start smoking.
Speaker 7: We would just force ourselves. We hated it, and we
Speaker 7: would force ourselves to do it. It was f funny,
Speaker 7: that cigarette that somehow makes you think you're on a diet.
Speaker 5: Yes, it was.
Speaker 1: It was so dainty and like, I don't know, we
Speaker 1: thought it was like very seventies.
Speaker 6: We were like, we would like put on chain links,
Speaker 6: sunglasses and smoke Capris like we just thought it was
Speaker 6: so cool.
Speaker 5: The actual smoke itself it was almost like there was
Speaker 5: no tobacco inities to say, it felt like you were
Speaker 5: smoking rolled up binder paper.
Speaker 1: It was as juvenile as cigarette hurting my lungs. There's
Speaker 1: nothing now, this might be good for me. Actually I'm
Speaker 1: not sure there's vitamin D in here. It was ridiculous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I love it. Then you're addicted. Yeah, thanks Skipriz. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone thinks they're above being addicted. For years, I would
Speaker 1: be like, no, I don't. I don't. I never buy them.
Speaker 1: So if I'm not handing over money for these things,
Speaker 1: I clearly don't have an addiction. I'd said that to
Speaker 1: myself for like ten years. I mean, while you're bumming
Speaker 1: off of everything. Oh yeah, everyone hated seeing me coming.
Speaker 5: I got if there was a place that you could
Speaker 5: go right now, if you had quarantine broken, reality was broken.
Speaker 5: If you were in Australia right now and you could
Speaker 5: do whatever you wanted, what do you What place would
Speaker 5: you like to go?
Speaker 1: What would you like to do? It would be your
Speaker 1: first kind of celebratory thing. I would love to go
Speaker 1: to a movie. Yeah, I really just would love to
Speaker 1: go to a movie. But also for me, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, part of why I guess you like seeing
Speaker 1: me at parties is because I fucking love parties. Like
Speaker 1: I would just go to a party. So if you're
Speaker 1: not a.
Speaker 6: Bunch of my friends over to Australia, then I don't
Speaker 6: I'm not really doing the thing I really want to be, Like,
Speaker 6: I really just want to go to a party where
Speaker 6: I know, like a bunch of people and just have
Speaker 6: a bunch of conversations. But I kind of want life
Speaker 6: to get normal for a little while before the first
Speaker 6: big party, so that there's some gossip to talk about.
Speaker 6: What are we going to talk about when we all
Speaker 6: first get back to the first party, be like how
Speaker 6: is your quarantine?
Speaker 1: Like, I mean, what are we gonna are?
Speaker 5: You freaked out to me too, I lost my feel weird, Like, yeah,
Speaker 5: that's gonna be the whole time. So I guess I'm
Speaker 5: excited for the second party. Where where after the first party,
Speaker 5: when a bunch of people get drunk and fuck totally
Speaker 5: random people that they normally never would and then it's real,
Speaker 5: it's not even gossip. Then it's like analytical discussion of
Speaker 5: socio political action.
Speaker 1: Maybe I was that.
Speaker 4: Scary the other day how I had not been to
Speaker 4: a house party. It's like it's it feels like it's
Speaker 4: been years. And then I realized it had been years.
Speaker 4: And I can't blame that on quarantine. I have to
Speaker 4: blame it on my unpopular area. It's that's sometimes because
Speaker 4: it's not your own popularity. I think it's because you
Speaker 4: live a little bit far. I don't know if you
Speaker 4: still live where you live.
Speaker 6: I'm not going to say it, but like I used
Speaker 6: to think, I used to invite you to stuff and
Speaker 6: be like, oh, but he lives out there, he's not
Speaker 6: going to come.
Speaker 1: I moved, and yeah, it did change a little.
Speaker 4: I moved to Echo Park, and I do feel like
Speaker 4: I'm a little more in the mix and I will
Speaker 4: like walk down the street and see people I know
Speaker 4: rather than retired boat captains.
Speaker 1: So that has changed.
Speaker 4: But I yeah, I just think that in general, prior
Speaker 4: to all this, there weren't a lot of people having
Speaker 4: parties at their houses anymore.
Speaker 1: Something changed.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of these, hey, let's meet at a
Speaker 4: bar am I just hanging out with cheap people.
Speaker 5: Well, or maybe people just didn't feel like putting in
Speaker 5: the effort, but that you did. Just I had just
Speaker 5: moved into my house and I was like, Okay, I
Speaker 5: need to have like my first core party where people
Speaker 5: where I'm testing it out of like is this even
Speaker 5: gonna work? And then after my first party, I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: I truly called our assistant, like our executive assistant who
Speaker 5: works at the network, and I was like, I need
Speaker 5: you to help me start planning monthly parties at my
Speaker 5: house and we're.
Speaker 1: Gonna put a guest together and we're gonna do this.
Speaker 5: And like I had this whole party like year of
Speaker 5: twenty twenty party plan where I was gonna have a
Speaker 5: monthly party, a rotating list all my people that wouldn't
Speaker 5: know each other, and it would be dinner with salons. Yes, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 5: and I really was gonna do it, and I was
Speaker 5: like it was one of my favorite New Year's resolutions.
Speaker 5: And then fucking month two COVID hits and I was
Speaker 5: just like and I've talked to you about this, Kara,
Speaker 5: but there there I have regretted every day of COVID
Speaker 5: how many parties I've blown off before, you know, in
Speaker 5: years before, because I would get that thing of like
Speaker 5: I don't want to go by myself on a want
Speaker 5: of blah blah blah outfits, hair, whatever, and I would
Speaker 5: just kind of be a quitter.
Speaker 1: And now I'm just like fucking get ready after that vaccine.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm gonna grow my hair to like some
Speaker 5: crashing parties you passed by.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Yeah, truly, and they strange gowns and
Speaker 1: like what's up.
Speaker 4: And they're going to be like, come on in, you're
Speaker 4: a person, we miss you, stranger, Yes, tell us a story.
Speaker 4: It was funny though, the first party you had, you
Speaker 4: you made so much food and you were pulling something
Speaker 4: out of the oven and you had like an apron on.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is great. Are you having fun? And
Speaker 1: You're like, no, no, not yet. You were like working
Speaker 1: the whole time. Yeah. See, it was nervous. You were entertaining. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the last party we had.
Speaker 6: We had a party for my husband's fortieth and we
Speaker 6: did I did a taco truck specifically because I was like,
Speaker 6: if I don't do something where the food is not
Speaker 6: is out of my hands, I will be pulling Trader
Speaker 6: Joe's apps out of the oven all fucking night and
Speaker 6: I am miserable and I will eventually get drunk and
Speaker 6: burn myself.
Speaker 1: So I just like had to do it for myself
Speaker 1: and it's the best.
Speaker 6: I mean, look, it was a special occasion. I'm not
Speaker 6: going to get like a food truck and everything. It's expensive,
Speaker 6: but like you know, it was the best to not
Speaker 6: have to work the food.
Speaker 5: It was so great and people love it because then
Speaker 5: they kind of don't have to worry about it either,
Speaker 5: like they're not it's not that thing where Well, this
Speaker 5: is actually one of my favorite memories, Chris. I think
Speaker 5: you were at this party at my old house, so
Speaker 5: this would have been easily five years ago or more.
Speaker 5: I had a Christmas party and I was making my mom.
Speaker 5: My mom had this appetizer that was like her secret
Speaker 5: you know, her secret weapon appetizer, and all it is is.
Speaker 1: All it is is the Kraft Green Parmesan cheese.
Speaker 5: You mix equal parts of that and mayonnaise until it's
Speaker 5: like a no Then you put it on You slice
Speaker 5: up a baguette and put it on top of the
Speaker 5: little rounds of baguette, and then you put it in
Speaker 5: the broiler for literally like two minutes, so it browns
Speaker 5: on the top and it's boiling hot, and no one
Speaker 5: knows it's just those two ingredients. So they eat it
Speaker 5: and they think it's so like tart and cheesy but
Speaker 5: creamy and delicious. Literally, people at this party, Chris, do
Speaker 5: you remember this? People were drunk and I would pull
Speaker 5: the tray out of the oven and turn around and
Speaker 5: people would just grab what.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, that's from the broiler.
Speaker 5: You're gonna people just take it into their mouth and
Speaker 5: they were so drunk and then they'd like two seconds
Speaker 5: later like holy shit, and they were like scalding their
Speaker 5: mouth and they didn't care.
Speaker 1: Couldn't make them fast enough. It was hilarious. I am
Speaker 1: of so trying that recipe. That sounds fucking amazing.
Speaker 5: It's really delicious, but you have to make it like
Speaker 5: in a side room or in a pantry so people
Speaker 5: can't see because it's really disgusting the actual ingredients.
Speaker 7: Me.
Speaker 1: Now, I go, is it a dip? Like would you
Speaker 1: eat that raw?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: You dip fried mac and cheese balls into it. Honestly,
Speaker 1: Mayo gets away with a lot with me. I really
Speaker 1: love it. I feel like, you know, you could just
Speaker 1: kind of put out Mayo and I'm like, that's good fun.
Speaker 4: I see it's funny because I just set sight of it.
Speaker 4: I think, I say it overnight, just once and it
Speaker 4: becomes transparent by morning. Yes, yeah, that was an experiment
Speaker 4: that happened accidentally, and I've always just I think as
Speaker 4: a kid it made me gag once and so but
Speaker 4: anytime it's in something you can trick me into.
Speaker 6: Thinking, yeah, yeah, that's the try to like a good
Speaker 6: grilled cheese or something is like musing mayo because it
Speaker 6: has a because instead of butter, it has like a
Speaker 6: lower burn threshold or something like that. Yea, I think
Speaker 6: that's like a Martha Stewart thing. Honestly, I haven't tried it, but.
Speaker 5: Karen was like, I don't think so well with the
Speaker 5: mayo I had well, and this I know, I've told
Speaker 5: this story on this podcast. The other thing is Chris
Speaker 5: and I were into repeating things for the fiftieth time.
Speaker 1: Now, but I haven't heard it, so let's go. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5: My mom used to moisturize her hair every Sunday night
Speaker 5: by putting mayonnaise in her hair and then wrapping like
Speaker 5: either a plastic bag shower capper, like some ran wrap
Speaker 5: around it, so she would reek of like sitting mayonnaise.
Speaker 5: And she always had really long seventies nails, so the
Speaker 5: mayonnaise would be under her fingernails until she rinsed the
Speaker 5: whole thing. So I had a problem with like if
Speaker 5: mayonnaise was coming out of the side of a sandwich,
Speaker 5: I'd have to get away from it, like it couldn't
Speaker 5: couldn't have too much, like more than more than what
Speaker 5: made a sandwich moist.
Speaker 1: Mayonnaise was upsetting to me.
Speaker 4: I thought that mayonnaise and like egg whites, was how
Speaker 4: you know a white kid in college got dreadlocks.
Speaker 1: I thought mayonnaise was the key to dreads? Was your
Speaker 1: mom putting in your heads? What'd you say? Was your
Speaker 1: mom grown out her dreads?
Speaker 7: I thought you said, should I get dressed? Should I
Speaker 7: get dreads? And then we were like, I've been putting
Speaker 7: coconut oil in my hair? I don't know, No, that's finny.
Speaker 6: I always was told because I have really thick hair,
Speaker 6: and like when it would get dry, people were like,
Speaker 6: have you tried mayonnaise?
Speaker 1: And I never did it, but I was told him
Speaker 1: about it. My mom swore by it. But it's like
Speaker 1: then I think it as a food ruins mayonnaise.
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, Chris, I said, yes, you recently online
Speaker 6: and I was like it is and this is, this
Speaker 6: is it's been in a hat.
Speaker 1: I don't even think I knew you had curly hair.
Speaker 1: This is yeah, none of us did because always been
Speaker 1: pretty short. Wow, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 6: I think if you're gonna try dreads, now's the time
Speaker 6: I know was gonna judge me.
Speaker 1: My plan. Get some Mayo tomorrow. Let's see what you
Speaker 1: can do. Let me dust off this uh by Mayo
Speaker 1: And I'm like, put Mayo on anything. I love it.
Speaker 1: That's a solution to everything. Hairstyles, moisturizing, sandwich.
Speaker 5: Wowa really has the progress Chris's hair has made during
Speaker 5: this quarantine. Like we've been kind kind of tracking it
Speaker 5: on the show, and this is it's now next level.
Speaker 5: You're starting to look like Shaka Khan. Yeah, I'm trying to.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to and it it is.
Speaker 4: You look like it is riddled with coconut oil, as
Speaker 4: I said, And I've been wearing hats and tight like
Speaker 4: dew rags at night and it keeps it.
Speaker 1: But it's still it cannot be tamed.
Speaker 4: If I if I had like teased it and put
Speaker 4: stuff in it, it would be people would laugh when
Speaker 4: I passed. So I'm trying to make it not comedic,
Speaker 4: but get to the point where I can just put
Speaker 4: it all into a ponytail. That's my new I never
Speaker 4: thought that would be a goal, but I want to
Speaker 4: have a pony.
Speaker 1: So is that the goal?
Speaker 6: Are you just trying to grow it as long as
Speaker 6: you can or you obviously you're not going to a
Speaker 6: barbershop because of COVID, but you're not.
Speaker 1: You're not like, oh maybe I'll buzz at myself or
Speaker 1: anything like that.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 4: I went to a private hair cutting situation an E. G.
Speaker 4: Money fan of the podcast Cut just cut the cause
Speaker 4: it grows in different areas. Your hair will like grow
Speaker 4: in in the areas that where your brain works better
Speaker 4: or something.
Speaker 1: I think that was it Like the back of your
Speaker 1: head grows more than the top.
Speaker 7: It is.
Speaker 1: It's it's low snopast. It helps it right now, see
Speaker 1: everyone's gonna look it up. It's yeah, the back, the
Speaker 1: back of your scalp grows faster. So I had to
Speaker 1: have like I had to have it taken in a
Speaker 1: little but not a lot of length, just to reshaping,
Speaker 1: if you will. What's coming up on snopes and also
Speaker 1: what is Snopes?
Speaker 5: It's the website where you can check if things are right.
Speaker 5: You've never heard of that, it's not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have, I just never asked. I thought it
Speaker 1: was a version of Jeeves no no, and the part
Speaker 1: of your head. How do I ask the question? How
Speaker 1: does your hair grow longer in different places? I think
Speaker 1: that's what he said based on brain activity. I'm going
Speaker 1: to go that far.
Speaker 5: There's no reason to believe this is all about hair length. Oh,
Speaker 5: it's a website called Eddie's haircutsshave dot com.
Speaker 1: Oh, what's Eddie? No, Eddie knows.
Speaker 5: There's no reason to believe that hair grows faster on
Speaker 5: the sides or top of your head at all. But
Speaker 5: some may notice that the hair on the left side
Speaker 5: of their head grows faster if they sleep on their
Speaker 5: left side of their body or right side.
Speaker 1: But that's just Eddie.
Speaker 4: We don't I maybe I listened to half of that
Speaker 4: and thought, well, I'm a left brained person. Clearly, that's
Speaker 4: why the left side of my hair, because it was
Speaker 4: the left side was twice the size if I had
Speaker 4: let it keep going.
Speaker 1: I cut hair off this side and left this side.
Speaker 5: I do know that people with curly hair, curly hair
Speaker 5: is grows faster than straight that's why it's curly.
Speaker 1: It's growing fast.
Speaker 5: Oh really, that's what I've been told that by people
Speaker 5: that I don't think we're lying to me, but who
Speaker 5: knows in this world.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's happening everywhere. My eyebrows become a retired math professor.
Speaker 1: Just everywhere. I don't it's just happening. I'm okay with it.
Speaker 7: I like you.
Speaker 1: I think it's like a new persona for you, they
Speaker 1: professor or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, anything to where I don't have to try as
Speaker 4: hard to write jokes. See that guy that acts like
Speaker 4: himself with funny hair.
Speaker 1: I love him.
Speaker 5: He's so I don't know, funny for no reason. He
Speaker 5: doesn't care what anybody thinks about him. I guess it's
Speaker 5: like he is an individual and that's what I like
Speaker 5: on stage.
Speaker 1: But little do they know. I care so much what
Speaker 1: everyone thinks of him, Way too much.
Speaker 5: Wait, now, I know Chris has But Kara, have you
Speaker 5: been doing stand up like internet stand up shows? Oh gosh.
Speaker 1: At the beginning, I did like a couple, and I
Speaker 1: did a couple.
Speaker 6: I did like one with Jared where we did like
Speaker 6: a bit, you know, and then nothing for months, and
Speaker 6: then two weeks ago I did Hot Tub with Curt
Speaker 6: and Chris, and Kurt actually had to be gone, so
Speaker 6: I sort of hosted with kristin a little bit. So
Speaker 6: that was fun, but I was just reading thoughts out
Speaker 6: of my phone like it was like, I just it
Speaker 6: wasn't real stand up. And they actually on that show
Speaker 6: have sort of figured out a way where like the
Speaker 6: comics can be on and a few of their Patreon
Speaker 6: people are on so that there's actual laughter, which is
Speaker 6: that so much better? I mean when I was just
Speaker 6: doing it into like the void, I was like why,
Speaker 6: like why am I doing this? But you know, some
Speaker 6: of my friends have been doing a ton of them
Speaker 6: and are enjoying themselves. I just I need an audience,
Speaker 6: I feel like, I yeah, just I.
Speaker 4: Did a special by myself on a stage, which felt cool.
Speaker 4: It was like an actual stage and people were on
Speaker 4: zoom and I thought I'd be able to hear them,
Speaker 4: but quickly realized I would not, and it made me.
Speaker 4: It made me do seventy five minutes. You know that
Speaker 4: whole thing where you're like, I can't get off until
Speaker 4: I get it here a laugh, even if I know
Speaker 4: it's not going to happen. I'm just going to never happen,
Speaker 4: but it does make when there's no laughter. I have
Speaker 4: been interested just rewatching things, your body, your defense mechanism,
Speaker 4: primal defense, falling back on trying to be funny to
Speaker 4: survive kicks in and you end up saying things that
Speaker 4: you normally wouldn't in front of an audience. So it's
Speaker 4: been sort of an interesting experiment, but nothing that I put.
Speaker 6: Out a sweating really hard to Like, I mean, I'm
Speaker 6: in front of my laptop with like a ring light.
Speaker 1: I'm just boiling, like yeah, yeah, I mean I haven't
Speaker 1: done it. I haven't.
Speaker 5: I'm so far past even doing stand up. It feels
Speaker 5: like these days. But when in real life, in the
Speaker 5: back in the day when I really did care so
Speaker 5: much about stand up, and I would be on stage
Speaker 5: and there would be silence. I turned on the audience,
Speaker 5: so I was so unprofessional and so like not in
Speaker 5: it for the game of like how do you turn
Speaker 5: this around? It would just be immediately like yeah, well
Speaker 5: fuck you guys. Then like I couldn't handle what what
Speaker 5: I projected onto them judging me or hating me or
Speaker 5: whatever the silence meant was so vicious and awful that
Speaker 5: like I just I just simply couldn't do.
Speaker 1: It, yeah, because like I was like, that's yeah.
Speaker 6: And I was running a show for a really long
Speaker 6: time at like UCB Sunset and God willing it makes
Speaker 6: it through the pandemic, but just not a good venue.
Speaker 6: Just not a good venue. The people are far from you,
Speaker 6: it's weirdly lit. It's just like first stand up, I
Speaker 6: stand by.
Speaker 1: It's not a good venue.
Speaker 6: And I was just hosting a show there every Monday,
Speaker 6: where I'd be like, hey, fuckers.
Speaker 1: You guys are gonna hate us again, Like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like so I am there too.
Speaker 6: So eventually they were like we're gonna close down on Mondays.
Speaker 6: And I wasn't even like can I get another night?
Speaker 1: I was like bye so much I was like, ah good,
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 6: Like yeah, it's like if you just have bad audience
Speaker 6: after bad it audience. And I hate to blame the audience,
Speaker 6: but sometimes I do think it's like the space.
Speaker 1: You know, very often it's the audience's fault.
Speaker 5: And the way that audience there specifically is set up
Speaker 5: is clearly for a different vibe.
Speaker 1: Because it was a beautiful place.
Speaker 5: Yes, and that they the those strange front cist pieces
Speaker 5: that would block, so you couldn't their faces were dimmed
Speaker 5: because of the way the lighting was, and then you
Speaker 5: couldn't really see the bodies, so it looked like a
Speaker 5: bunch of like box seats at the opera of people
Speaker 5: who hated you, people who.
Speaker 6: Were like every single person at my show acted like
Speaker 6: someone told them this was a Universal Studios tour.
Speaker 1: Yes, and they're just.
Speaker 6: Finding out that it's not. And I would be like,
Speaker 6: you guys, knew what you were coming in here for.
Speaker 6: It says stand up comedy show. Like they would all
Speaker 6: just be like the crowd work was like pulling fucking teeth?
Speaker 5: Was it was?
Speaker 6: But I will say, in case you know, I don't know,
Speaker 6: one of the UCB people is listening, Frank Franklin is
Speaker 6: an amazing space.
Speaker 1: I do love that. Yeah, I love it. I miss it.
Speaker 4: I think about it, and hopefully much like a smoker
Speaker 4: in an elevator, where you are going to miss audiences
Speaker 4: so much that I will I will just be happy
Speaker 4: to be in front of a judgment.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Should I do.
Speaker 6: A show for two couples that like I If they
Speaker 6: leave the show's over, I'm going to be really giving
Speaker 6: them everything I have.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know that I'm going to appreciate audiences more.
Speaker 4: I gotta keep reminding myself to appreciate every single audience.
Speaker 1: The drunk is even in just a Southern drunken dad.
Speaker 1: No offense to the South.
Speaker 5: But that's where I remember when we when we first
Speaker 5: started doing business class at the Improv Lob, Chris and
Speaker 5: there would be there. It was basically a bunch of
Speaker 5: people who listened to our podcast and listen to my
Speaker 5: favorite Murder would come. But they didn't know how to
Speaker 5: be a comedy audience. So no matter what was happening,
Speaker 5: they were stone silent, like they were like they thought,
Speaker 5: this is how you respectfully watch comedy.
Speaker 1: To watch it do stand up the way I watch
Speaker 1: them when I'm driving my car.
Speaker 4: I had gotten used to it, I really, and now
Speaker 4: I just look at faces and I see the silent,
Speaker 4: smiling joy and I'm really, it's been good for me
Speaker 4: to not have to depend on audible laughter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, interesting that.
Speaker 5: It is funny that kind of like they But we
Speaker 5: were lucky because the same people came back a bunch,
Speaker 5: and so then we started getting this core people who
Speaker 5: knew what to do and knew how to do it,
Speaker 5: and they would kind.
Speaker 1: Of lead, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: So it wasn't but those first couple shows was shocking
Speaker 5: where I'm like, why did we ever agree to do this?
Speaker 1: This is the worst idea. And then it's just like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, no, no, it's that people just want to observe. Yeah, like,
Speaker 1: and that's.
Speaker 6: Better than the I think a lot of the Lab audience,
Speaker 6: which is people that didn't get into the show in
Speaker 6: the main room, are disappointed to be watching you.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yeah, that's oh my god. That was always
Speaker 1: the Lab.
Speaker 4: Also, there is a show in San Francisco that was
Speaker 4: in a theater without a microphone, and I was horrified
Speaker 4: the first time I did it, but you had to
Speaker 4: and figured it out within ten minutes, project your voice
Speaker 4: like you were in a sketch group at UCB, like
Speaker 4: and all of a sudden, we just need.
Speaker 1: A suggestion from the audience.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: There was that.
Speaker 4: Also, it became a dialogue with the audience. All of
Speaker 4: a sudden, I'm gesticulating, I'm using my hands, I'm not
Speaker 4: holding I've never known I feel so powerless when I'm
Speaker 4: pulling a mic out of a mic stand. And then
Speaker 4: you got to hold the mic all of a sudden
Speaker 4: I'm talking. I thought I didn't even like how that looked.
Speaker 1: When a comic's doing stand up on a late night
Speaker 1: show and they don't have a mic, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I need the mic, but you don't. You get used
Speaker 1: to it, and then all of a sudden, you're doing
Speaker 1: this theater diaphragm joke telling yes, yeah, most it's my
Speaker 1: one man show. Yeah, yeah it did. It felt like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a performing entertainer. This has become high art.
Speaker 6: This is reminding me of my friend who lives in
Speaker 6: North Carolina asked me to come down. She's like, my
Speaker 6: company will pay you to come down and do their
Speaker 6: Christmas party. And I was like, all right, they're.
Speaker 1: Gonna fly me down there.
Speaker 6: I get to visit my friend because I never just
Speaker 6: pop on down to North Carolina really, you know. So
Speaker 6: it's like the company, do they're financial? Okay, yeah, I
Speaker 6: think it's going to be like a big thing. It's
Speaker 6: thirty people. It's in the back room at Amagiano's.
Speaker 1: I had said. They had asked me a million times, what.
Speaker 5: Do you need?
Speaker 6: I go just a microphone. I just stean in a microphone, Oh,
Speaker 6: wireless or any microphone. I just Dan a microphone. They
Speaker 6: only brought a love mic, so I talked, Oh my god,
Speaker 6: I was so uncomfortable not using a microphone, even though
Speaker 6: I absolutely could have projected to thirty people in a
Speaker 6: private room Atmagianos that I held a tiny mouse sized
Speaker 6: microphone in front of my mouth and did stand up
Speaker 6: into it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, any mic five minutes, Yeah, any like even a
Speaker 4: microphone that you'd see in a dollhouse.
Speaker 1: Just bring it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly how detailed do you need a description of
Speaker 5: a microphone that you're gonna fuck it up that badly?
Speaker 1: Like this is not a c Span book group? Like
Speaker 1: what are you doing?
Speaker 6: And then I had to and then I stayed after
Speaker 6: and they all said they enjoyed it, and then I
Speaker 6: had to do their white elephant with them.
Speaker 1: I had to do it like a grab bag with them.
Speaker 1: That would actually be fun.
Speaker 5: I would love, like an office gift exchange would actually
Speaker 5: be a funny, hilarious thing to host.
Speaker 4: Every time someone opens a present, you're like, is there
Speaker 4: a microphone in there?
Speaker 1: Can I have it? I'll trade you.
Speaker 6: I love the idea that it's like, hey, everybody's was
Speaker 6: everybody doing?
Speaker 1: And then I point the tiny mic, so my mom's
Speaker 1: Italian and my dad's Irish because I'm a drunk everybody
Speaker 1: doing you people in the back. Oh god, I.
Speaker 4: Would want like Gallagher perk too, to have like the
Speaker 4: Janet Jackson microphone where it's on a little stem like you're,
Speaker 4: oh yeah, exceptionist.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And then you just start telling people how to
Speaker 5: lose weight. You can do this, will you can?
Speaker 1: I'll do it? Love life, body image, money, These are
Speaker 1: all things I don't all connected.
Speaker 5: Magnetize success, control and then you just go into the
Speaker 5: control dance routine.
Speaker 1: Do you if that makes me think?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 5: Would you say that's your worst gig ever? Or do
Speaker 5: you want to tell a story of your worst gig?
Speaker 6: And that's my most specific it's not the worst. But
Speaker 6: I just don't think. I think I maybe have blocked
Speaker 6: out worst gigs. I mean, I've definitely done shows for
Speaker 6: like two people where no one responds. I you know,
Speaker 6: I've done bad shows, but I can't think of like
Speaker 6: anything super awkward and horrible besides that one. Off the
Speaker 6: top of my head. I really should have a better
Speaker 6: story of that. But I'm letting you down right now,
Speaker 6: and I apologize.
Speaker 1: No, no, you're not.
Speaker 5: I can tell you when I just off the top
Speaker 5: and I a thousand of these because I did colleges
Speaker 5: for oh yes, yeah, and that those are all basically bad.
Speaker 5: Like it's like it's a nooner in the cafeteria and they're.
Speaker 6: All wearing pja pants, they all look tired, they look
Speaker 6: like someone dragged them there.
Speaker 5: Yes, they they're forced, and yet at the same time
Speaker 5: you're in a cafeteria, so there's nothing about it as
Speaker 5: show business y. And there was one that actually wasn't
Speaker 5: going that bad until the end when it was like
Speaker 5: the final ten minutes, a team of some kind I
Speaker 5: don't remember, it was either the football team or the
Speaker 5: basketball team were just got done with their I was
Speaker 5: gonna say, rehearsal, the rehearsal, and so they came in
Speaker 5: for the end of my set and I one of
Speaker 5: the last jokes I did was about the National Cheerleading Championships,
Speaker 5: and it was just basically like a series of jokes
Speaker 5: shitting on cheerleaders, and from the back of the room.
Speaker 1: This guy goes, uh, that's fucked up.
Speaker 5: My mom is a cheerleader, and the whole room went insane,
Speaker 5: and then I just went that, you know what, that's
Speaker 5: my closer good night everybody, and I like let him
Speaker 5: close the show. It was so fucking funny. I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm not going to be able to beat that. Wait,
Speaker 5: I know what my closer is. It's not funnier than
Speaker 5: what that guy just said, So I'm going to leave
Speaker 5: on his joke.
Speaker 4: And then he literally got on stage and finished the show.
Speaker 4: Or did he He just kept talking about his mom.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, he his joke of his mom. Yeah,
Speaker 5: like pretending to be offended because his mother is a cheerleader.
Speaker 5: I was just like, and that's our show, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 5: thanks so much.
Speaker 1: Get ended day.
Speaker 6: The thing about these college shows too, is like it's
Speaker 6: really only like freshmen that go, I feel like most
Speaker 6: of the time, because they're the ones that still go
Speaker 6: to like the organized activities at the school provides and
Speaker 6: a lot of times you go in the fall. So
Speaker 6: they've all just been in college for like four weeks.
Speaker 6: They're all still looking at their friends like do we
Speaker 6: think this is funny?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to reinvent myself here, like you know, like no,
Speaker 5: I don't want to miss step and then be the
Speaker 5: nerd in the dorm.
Speaker 6: So it's so awkward, and I just it's the awkwardness
Speaker 6: I think is palpable in those cafeterias. Oh, lighting is horrendous.
Speaker 6: You think like you'd be sitting there and you'd be like, oh,
Speaker 6: here comes some audience. But it's just like dudes going
Speaker 6: to get chips.
Speaker 4: Like yeah, and again my own insecurity. It's the only
Speaker 4: chance for a student to be attacked for simply doing
Speaker 4: her homework, like, why are you? It's my only time
Speaker 4: in between class I have a test. It's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: I made this all about me. I thought you sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get a joke going.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm in the place where you study, and a
Speaker 4: comedian was thrust upon you.
Speaker 1: Yes, I did a show.
Speaker 6: I did a show here at uh what one of
Speaker 6: those schools at UCLA I think where I they. I
Speaker 6: did it in a full dining hall during a rush hour.
Speaker 6: No one was listening, and then I got a parking ticket.
Speaker 6: I was like, I paid to come do this garbage.
Speaker 6: Oh that's the best I used to I used.
Speaker 5: To run a show at UCLA in the It's like
Speaker 5: the Bruin Diner or whatever it's called. Right, it's the
Speaker 5: one that kind of has seats built around and then
Speaker 5: the well obviously that's how probably any cafeteria was. The
Speaker 5: subway wasn't in the middle, it was on the outside.
Speaker 5: But it was basically like they were like they wanted,
Speaker 5: you know, weekly student entertainment. So I ran the show
Speaker 5: and then just got all the people that at the
Speaker 5: time I was doing other shows with, and it was
Speaker 5: like always okay, and then one time I just happened
Speaker 5: to get a bunch of huge, amazing people like I can't.
Speaker 5: It was like David Cross was the closer, and he
Speaker 5: got up there and just started going, are the frat
Speaker 5: boys here?
Speaker 1: Because you guys, you know, I don't know if.
Speaker 5: Anybody else knows, but and he starts telling stories about
Speaker 5: like what frat guys do in private and like how
Speaker 5: they get into fraternities and shit, and the audience, I mean,
Speaker 5: they were going fucking nuts. It was like it was
Speaker 5: like all the nerd kids basically having their revenge of
Speaker 5: like talking shit on the frat guys.
Speaker 1: It was so hilarious. It was like it was unbelievable.
Speaker 6: Gosh, full circle back to mayonnaise. By the way, in
Speaker 6: my college, a lot of the fraternity or hazing rituals
Speaker 6: involved eating a lot of mayo. Oh no, yeah, that's
Speaker 6: what I heard. Like they would put like a Snickers
Speaker 6: at the bottom of an industrial sized thing of mayo
Speaker 6: and you had to like eat till you found it
Speaker 6: or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know. No, it's always it.
Speaker 6: Was always horrible food horror that I heard about. It
Speaker 6: was never I guess it's drink until you die. It
Speaker 6: was always like until you're.
Speaker 1: You go to the hospital. Like, I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd rather one is worse. Yeah, hard to say.
Speaker 4: I'll try my hand at just meeting kids on campus
Speaker 4: rather than go through this whole thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, for real, I'll just join the club. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I made fun of it for my whole college experience.
Speaker 4: And then I had an acting class, the only acting
Speaker 4: class I have ever taken, I think in college. And
Speaker 4: it was with a bunch of Fiji house members and
Speaker 4: they wouldn't invite me to their parties and they it
Speaker 4: was the healthiest, nicest This one fraternity was like they
Speaker 4: all had oh it's time to do homework, and someone
Speaker 4: was cooking them dinner. They were all nice, they kept
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I'm not going to be in the
Speaker 4: fraternity and They're like no, we just like having you around.
Speaker 4: I'm like, this is great. Should I have done this?
Speaker 4: And then I found out how much it cost? It
Speaker 4: was like okay, yeah, it was very expected.
Speaker 6: There was a co ed fraternity at my school that
Speaker 6: asked for your parents' financial records before you could join.
Speaker 1: What oh that is yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, because they like only took people who were like
Speaker 6: really rich, and it was expensive to join and be
Speaker 6: a part of that and to.
Speaker 1: Live there, so weird. Wait, can you say what college
Speaker 1: you went to?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I went to Trinity College in Connecticut.
Speaker 6: And I mean maybe I won't say the actual fraternity,
Speaker 6: but there's like three, so you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: If you went there, we're also going to need a
Speaker 1: proof of your genetics. Yeah, it's like can we get
Speaker 1: a twenty three and meat?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: God, damn, I know it's wild. I mean, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, New England garbage. I don't know, it was
Speaker 1: a rumor.
Speaker 6: Maybe it's not even true today, but everybody it was
Speaker 6: a pretty strong rumor.
Speaker 1: You know. They're like, your mom bounced to check, so
Speaker 1: we didn't know you were one of them. Pool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yep, should have joined a frat. That's my closing statement.
Speaker 4: We're not ending.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I stand cloth. This is not
Speaker 1: a court court scenario.
Speaker 4: I just like how they had like a den mother
Speaker 4: there that would come down and tell them it's time
Speaker 4: to do homework for two hours and cook.
Speaker 1: Some food and stuff. I bet that's like what was
Speaker 1: the draw for a lot of people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't even realize that was that was one
Speaker 5: of the aspects. I thought they were all just kind
Speaker 5: of like in a else, breaking everything all the time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think there were those that a lot of
Speaker 4: those houses, yeah, like straight from a movie, just broken
Speaker 4: a broken lion statue on the porch.
Speaker 6: No, the houses were disgusting at I but I did
Speaker 6: I did I drink beer that ping pong balls from
Speaker 6: the floor had been in?
Speaker 1: I sure did it? Yes, yeah, absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 6: All these people are passing around memes like if you
Speaker 6: did this, if you ate this in the eighties, don't
Speaker 6: worry about what's in the vaccine, And one of them
Speaker 6: was like if you drank in a frat basement, like,
Speaker 6: don't worry what's in the vaccine. And I'm like, absolutely,
Speaker 6: I think I'm already immune to COVID, Like I drank
Speaker 6: a lot of gross things.
Speaker 4: Yeah. That is Another thing that I know is going
Speaker 4: to stick with me is my new ability to keep
Speaker 4: my hands out of my face.
Speaker 1: I am like such a germophobe now, and I think
Speaker 1: I always had.
Speaker 4: There were times in my life where I've been weird,
Speaker 4: and I have always been weird about wiping down a
Speaker 4: bathroom handle and I leave a restroom stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But now I think this is permanent. I'm just going
Speaker 1: to be like such a germophobe now.
Speaker 5: Just don't.
Speaker 1: You don't have to decide it's permanent. It's permanent right now,
Speaker 1: but it probably will go.
Speaker 6: Yeah, because everybody's like, I'm done shaking hands, I'm never
Speaker 6: touching another person.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeck, we might hug again. Oh yeah, oh
Speaker 1: I'm going to make out. I'm going to kiss strangers.
Speaker 4: But my point is I kind of like that it
Speaker 4: has proven that that was the reason I was getting
Speaker 4: sick three four times a year is because I just
Speaker 4: wasn't paying attention. And now I have not had a cold,
Speaker 4: and I'm confident I never will.
Speaker 6: My kid is twenty months old and has never been sick.
Speaker 6: I feel like her commune system is like a cotton ball.
Speaker 5: I don't really even know like what she's gonna do
Speaker 5: when that's the way it comes back because she's just
Speaker 5: been inside and like everything's like wait around four other
Speaker 5: people Max like she yeah, Like god, I mean and
Speaker 5: that I get what you mean, Chris, because it's like
Speaker 5: the there was a guy that was there here to
Speaker 5: fix the like the water main thing at my house
Speaker 5: today and he came with a total industrial mask.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then he was trying to explain something to me.
Speaker 5: He was wearing glasses and he's like, sorry, this is
Speaker 5: steaming up my glasses and just pulled the mask all
Speaker 5: the way down. And it was all I could think
Speaker 5: was how many of those like New York Times they
Speaker 5: almost have like the gifts where it shows you the
Speaker 5: spray that.
Speaker 1: Comes out of someone else's mouth and how long you
Speaker 1: have before it gets on you.
Speaker 5: Where I'm just like, I will not get COVID right
Speaker 5: as the vaccine cars out right, fuck you fuck that.
Speaker 5: I literally got up and stood six feet away from him,
Speaker 5: so I'm like, sorry, I will absolutely be rude to
Speaker 5: you because I am not getting it at the level
Speaker 5: of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's more than what I'm talking about. That positive,
Speaker 1: the positive aspect of us.
Speaker 4: It like, no one is going to feel weird about it,
Speaker 4: and I'm going to keep wearing a mask on an airplane.
Speaker 4: I think it totally makes sense. I always used to
Speaker 4: get sick on flights. I'd show up and then I'm
Speaker 4: sick by the second show Somewhere I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 4: wonder why I got sick. It was on an airplane
Speaker 4: with a busy. I'm gonna wear surgical masks from now on,
Speaker 4: hear me. Now, I will prove it later. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: be a mask guy.
Speaker 1: It's December eleventh. Write it down. Karen put it in
Speaker 1: our logs.
Speaker 6: I think I still see people flying with masks though
Speaker 6: for a while, like yeah, yeah, things are cool.
Speaker 1: I think people are still gonna fly with that.
Speaker 6: Because you used to see a random one or two people,
Speaker 6: it always reminded me of SARS.
Speaker 1: I would see it go we have SARS is still around,
Speaker 1: and yeah now it is now, Yeah it kind of was.
Speaker 4: I guess I really think permanently that that stigma around masks, well,
Speaker 4: it's not gonna people won't judge anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wear masks. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Well, and also I think the I think the thing
Speaker 5: I will definitely be way less judgmental about is the
Speaker 5: thing I have clocked during this quarantine is watching my
Speaker 5: emotional state go up and down like a roller coaster
Speaker 5: where I'm like, what am I upset about?
Speaker 1: I don't understand what it's happening.
Speaker 5: Like it nothing is mathematically logical about how I feel.
Speaker 5: So it'll be like, you know, like my friends that
Speaker 5: do game night or whatever, like four of us that
Speaker 5: are just playing Quiplash, and when we go to say
Speaker 5: goodbye to each other, I get well, I well up,
Speaker 5: and it's like Fridger and my friend Carrie, where I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 5: that's fine. You love your friends and you're happy that
Speaker 5: you have people to.
Speaker 1: Hang out with.
Speaker 5: But it is those it's like those experiences where I'm
Speaker 5: just like, God, I hope no one's holding this against
Speaker 5: me or like counting this as I'm being a weirdo,
Speaker 5: because I just.
Speaker 1: It's so hard to process all.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 1: I think we're all like emotionally off kilter.
Speaker 6: I mean I watch I watch like, you know, kitty
Speaker 6: stuff with my kid, Like she doesn't really watch a lot,
Speaker 6: but she watches Moana. She likes Mowana. Oh I love
Speaker 6: Moana twelve times. I don't tear up. I ball crying
Speaker 6: every single time I watch it. In the scene places,
Speaker 6: I know what's coming, I propose. I'm like, Okay, this
Speaker 6: is gonna be the song where they talk about how
Speaker 6: she needs to stay here even though in her heart
Speaker 6: she really wants to go out be on the reef and.
Speaker 1: I lose my ship. And I've never been a big
Speaker 1: crier about stuff like that before. That is now thing.
Speaker 1: You're crying as you sing along with the lyrics memorized, Oh.
Speaker 5: My god fully, my daughter looks at me and goes
Speaker 5: She's like when she sees me crying, and she goes, Hi,
Speaker 5: Like that's all.
Speaker 1: She just wants to know you're gonna go me.
Speaker 4: I've been watching this, uh, this reality contest that I
Speaker 4: hesitantly turned on, this alone thing, this survival issue.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, saman And I was. I was
Speaker 1: so invested in it.
Speaker 4: Also, it makes you appreciate what we have because they
Speaker 4: are out in the middle of nowhere. They don't have
Speaker 4: I'm complaining about having to prepare my own meals. There
Speaker 4: are people that are on there for several months. This
Speaker 4: woman was on there for several months, and all she
Speaker 4: had eaten in that whole time. Sometimes fourteen fifteen, twenty
Speaker 4: days without any food. She ate a squirrel and two
Speaker 4: rabbits and then she didn't have anything. It is a
Speaker 4: little hard to watch a lot of the cause it's
Speaker 4: like you have to kill animals, that's the main thing,
Speaker 4: which usually I'm yeah, I'm offended by it usually, but
Speaker 4: in this I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, kill the rabbit, eat the wolverine like it was.
Speaker 4: But I was getting so emotional and getting teared up
Speaker 4: when they were having breakdowns in their tents because this
Speaker 4: other contestant on it, if I can call them that,
Speaker 4: she made a teddy bear out of a hide of
Speaker 4: a rabbit, like she was going insane, and she was
Speaker 4: holding this teddy bear.
Speaker 1: She was like turning into a kid. And they were starving.
Speaker 1: They were getting.
Speaker 4: Pulled off the show because their bodies were eating their
Speaker 4: organs like they were Christian Bale in some weird movie.
Speaker 1: Skinny it is. It is an emotional roller coaster, and
Speaker 1: I was way into it. I watched all of it.
Speaker 1: I highly recommend alone.
Speaker 6: It makes me feel bad when I'm like, God, I've
Speaker 6: eaten out of the same four restaurants in my neighborhood.
Speaker 1: I eat Zanku again. Oh I can't. I actually can.
Speaker 1: It's delicious.
Speaker 4: Just eating every day I see as a luxury now.
Speaker 4: It was yeah, and any human interaction. They missed their
Speaker 4: families so much. It's just like hard to watch. Yeah,
Speaker 4: because I cried during the right Toyota commercial. You know,
Speaker 4: I'm just yeah, yeah, we're all priors.
Speaker 6: But yeah, Super U can fuck right off. Every commercial
Speaker 6: of theirs makes me ball. That commercial where like the
Speaker 6: little old lady is a kid, but then at the
Speaker 6: end you realize it's a little old lady.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 5: They two things were like one of those first ones
Speaker 5: was like two people on a kind of like on
Speaker 5: a first date and like and it's all that kind
Speaker 5: of like sunlit. They're driving through like beautiful wheat field
Speaker 5: type of areas and like the sun's coming through and
Speaker 5: they're kind of just like looking at each other or whatever.
Speaker 5: I would literally the commercialill be over. I'd be crying
Speaker 5: and convinced I would be alone for the rest of
Speaker 5: my life. It wasn't there was nothing uplifting about it
Speaker 5: or like yeah, I'm gonna get a Super U.
Speaker 1: It was like they have everything and I have nothing.
Speaker 1: It's like fuck you guys. Yeah, yeah, it does not
Speaker 1: make people buy a car. Yeah, I car. You're not
Speaker 1: getting sponsored on this podcast. Yeah, you keep confronting me.
Speaker 1: You keep confronting me about how I'm doing in life.
Speaker 1: What are you actually? They would be a perfect they
Speaker 1: would be a perfect sponsor.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh we've ruined it. See our emotions have ruined everything. Again.
Speaker 1: Cut all this, cut all this even please market it's
Speaker 1: our future. Please.
Speaker 6: Like two episodes from now, you guys are like, we're
Speaker 6: back in the car in a brand new Subaru Forester.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, terrific, and we're both in arranged marriages. It's wonderful.
Speaker 1: Thank you Suberu, Thank you SUPERU. We were forced to
Speaker 1: marry our childhood sweetheart. We had to do whatever the
Speaker 1: plot of the last super commercial we saw was, and
Speaker 1: here we are.
Speaker 4: Hey, I'm just gonna say right now, there's nothing I
Speaker 4: want more than a Subaru cross track.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, which is my best My best friend
Speaker 1: has one, she likes it. I want a four wheel
Speaker 1: drive wagon car, and I think that's okay that I
Speaker 1: want it. No, it's you first of the universe makes
Speaker 1: ca Yeah you said that at the same time.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's in the middle of these but those are really,
Speaker 5: really good cars my my ex's family.
Speaker 1: That's all they drove, and they were Portland people.
Speaker 5: But the four wheel drive in the rain, like you
Speaker 5: didn't ever have to because I've every car accident I've
Speaker 5: ever gotten into was me driving in the rain, slamming
Speaker 5: on my brakes and sliding into the back of people
Speaker 5: because I drove too fast, and so I would alway
Speaker 5: be really anxious in the rain. And it's because of
Speaker 5: the way those cars are built and the way they drive.
Speaker 5: They don't do that, they don't lock up like there.
Speaker 5: It's it's such a good car. Yeah, and they have
Speaker 5: a good resale value. We've really turned this around.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh, I think at this point, at this point,
Speaker 4: super owes us an apology for pulling out of.
Speaker 1: An imagine you do, Dare, That's right, don't doubt this.
Speaker 4: Plus you can drive up into the snowy mountains where
Speaker 4: I'm going to continue to live my life eating squirrels.
Speaker 1: I've been. It's so inspired by so many Would you
Speaker 1: go on.
Speaker 6: A show like that, Chris, I want to say one
Speaker 6: as extreme as that, but like a survivor maybe, or like.
Speaker 1: A I don't think I would.
Speaker 4: I'm afraid people think because I'm from Montana and maybe
Speaker 4: I go camping sometimes that I but I there's nothing
Speaker 4: on that show that I knew how to do. I
Speaker 4: would not know how to fish by hand, Yeah I would.
Speaker 4: They were making nets out of wheat, grass and stuff
Speaker 4: and catching fish. You have to kill animals, all that stuff.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't be able to do.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't last a day. I'm a vegetarian.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: They were in the Arctic, and so you could tell
Speaker 4: one of the women. I think normally most of them.
Speaker 4: I'm surprised that they would tear up and say, I
Speaker 4: didn't want to kill this squirrel. It's my only friend here.
Speaker 4: One guy got really emotional. I'm telling you, it's a
Speaker 4: really good show. It's not like the manly guy in
Speaker 4: the beginning who's like I came here to kick moose ass.
Speaker 4: He fell and broke its leg on like day four.
Speaker 4: And the people that continued to survive were like the
Speaker 4: most calm. They would get pulled off because they're starving
Speaker 4: to death and they're like, but I love it here,
Speaker 4: oh my lot.
Speaker 1: And they're in the Arctic.
Speaker 6: It was zero degrees and they this is the one
Speaker 6: where they just pull you out when you're done, like
Speaker 6: you could be out there for three months.
Speaker 1: You could be out there for you. Yeah, you can
Speaker 1: radio them.
Speaker 4: Well, it's kind of funny because I realize, after having
Speaker 4: watched it, while when this woman's hut caught on fire,
Speaker 4: they had an establishing shot, like there's a camera crew there. Yeah,
Speaker 4: they just aren't giving you candy bars right right, or
Speaker 4: a jacket or anything.
Speaker 1: People were really starving. You could see their bodies changing,
Speaker 1: literally naked and afraid.
Speaker 5: I worked on a clip show, of course, and one
Speaker 5: of the things was Naked and Afraid, and I remember
Speaker 5: having to watch it. I was trying to write jokes
Speaker 5: while this woman was literally starving and laying naked in
Speaker 5: like a lean to that they had made where she's
Speaker 5: so afraid of snakes. But she's laying there and she's like,
Speaker 5: my editor, it's so bad, and I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 5: not sure what's funny about this. I don't understand like
Speaker 5: what I can understand, like the the value of kind
Speaker 5: of like I can't believe they're doing this, and I
Speaker 5: can't believe they're naked doing it. But other than that,
Speaker 5: it's just watching people suffer and get bitten by things.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't watch any of those shit. I don't
Speaker 6: watch anything survivalists, but I have heard that alone is
Speaker 6: like different and it is. Yeah, but yeah, we Lisa
Speaker 6: and I went on a podcast together where the question
Speaker 6: was who which one of you would be better at Survivor?
Speaker 6: And immediately I was like, oh, Lisa, she's watched like
Speaker 6: forty seasons of that. And Lisa immediately was like me,
Speaker 6: here's why Kara would be bad on Survivor.
Speaker 1: I was like, you could just say what's good about you?
Speaker 1: I said, you too? Yeah, yeah, it's funny. After watching
Speaker 1: that show, I did learn a lot.
Speaker 4: I feel like maybe I would last a couple more
Speaker 4: days because I watched that whole season. But I am
Speaker 4: nervous because my refrigerator, the thermostat or something broke the
Speaker 4: other day and I'm starting to smell my food. It
Speaker 4: is time to get a new refrigerator. I've been shopping, looking,
Speaker 4: browsing online, but I'm in a bit of a panic.
Speaker 6: So I can relate to Marketplace and stuff because sometimes
Speaker 6: people move into places and then they buy a refrigerator
Speaker 6: and then they got to move again. But their new
Speaker 6: place at the bridge check out Marketplace don't buy me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I want a wine red retro looking one
Speaker 4: that looks like an old catile.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna grow my mustache out type.
Speaker 5: I can't just like rebuilding this entire apartment and it's
Speaker 5: like you're going to have to move out one day
Speaker 5: and you're not gonna be able to.
Speaker 1: I know, have beautiful thing. You build it, I know,
Speaker 1: you build him. I have to have a refrigerator, though,
Speaker 1: so I figured i'd get because those are also smaller.
Speaker 1: They're not dorm room small, but I could if.
Speaker 5: I ever have a garage a three quarter fridge, like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: that's all you have. And when you come to LA,
Speaker 5: you're like, look at these enormous fridges like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, mine's too big. It's too big. That's the
Speaker 1: main reason that in it. Not keeping food cold? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's those are the two that's main job.
Speaker 4: Right when I grocery shop, I got three hundred dollars
Speaker 4: in groceries, right when I brought them home, you got
Speaker 4: so I get it.
Speaker 1: I know what it's like to eat a squirrel.
Speaker 5: Up in the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was your only way from melty cheese.
Speaker 4: Isn't that sad that this this bearded, tough guy with
Speaker 4: long dreads was like crying because he killed a squirrel
Speaker 4: and he's like, this squirrel had trust in me, and
Speaker 4: I just filled it and he started crying and I
Speaker 4: that was one of the things that just took me
Speaker 4: over the edge.
Speaker 6: I was like, I went to summer camp, so I
Speaker 6: know how to do like I know how to build
Speaker 6: a fire, and I know two constellations, and I know
Speaker 6: how to do a slipknot.
Speaker 1: Do you think I'd survived and you could cover?
Speaker 5: You can sing slip knot songs slipknots, so you've got
Speaker 5: it all. You've truly got it all. Yeah, And I
Speaker 5: learned I learned canoeing skills. That's like really what I
Speaker 5: focused on at camp.
Speaker 6: So like, if anything about my survivalism, if they provide
Speaker 6: me a canoe, I.
Speaker 1: Can do some pretty pretty like nice things with the canoe.
Speaker 1: But that's like there's the big difference aim towards the
Speaker 1: big Yeah. Yeah, you got to navigate sing the stars.
Speaker 1: I just didn't.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't really emerge from camp as like a
Speaker 6: full knolls like trailblazer, But you know, I can build
Speaker 6: a fire.
Speaker 5: I mean my dad has a wood burning stove in
Speaker 5: the front room, which is great because like on cold nights.
Speaker 5: It really puts out in a bunch of heat, but
Speaker 5: he won't let you touch it.
Speaker 1: Like it's been years. I've had to prove that I
Speaker 1: know how to build a fire, because he'll get get
Speaker 1: out of the way. Like it's so fun to earn
Speaker 1: that squirrel's trust. I had.
Speaker 5: Had to earn my dad's squirrel trust to build it,
Speaker 5: and so I truly know where it's like, you've got
Speaker 5: to leave this much room to get the oxygen going,
Speaker 5: but then you light the newspaper, you get the tinder
Speaker 5: going underneath and that hole like all the because he
Speaker 5: will give you maybe four minutes, and if you start
Speaker 5: with the pank fire, he's just like it clear. The
Speaker 5: area gets so mad.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The woman that that, oh, she would have won
Speaker 1: if they hadn't said hey, you're starving, you have to
Speaker 1: get off the show. And then the other guy won.
Speaker 1: But she her cabin she made. Everyone else had a
Speaker 1: tarp held up by sticks. She made a wall that
Speaker 1: was two rows of logs that she cut with a.
Speaker 4: Sharp rock and insulated it with pine tree and under
Speaker 4: her bed would put warm stones.
Speaker 1: She made a cabin.
Speaker 4: She made it that would totally withstand what hundreds of
Speaker 4: pounds of snow. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, wait, Chris,
Speaker 4: can I ask you what they win?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 4: And it was almost an insult. Just give them a
Speaker 4: million dollars. It was five hundred thousand dollars. It's like,
Speaker 4: just give them a million.
Speaker 1: Which they're going to spend all at the hospital because
Speaker 1: they have to get all. I guarantee you exactly. One
Speaker 1: guy was going bald.
Speaker 4: This woman was like, they said, your heart is being affected,
Speaker 4: and she's like, no, I just give me a few
Speaker 4: more weeks.
Speaker 1: She didn't want to leave, like they the cabin lady.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Granted they weren't social butterflies.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 4: This other woman that was like seriously, like I don't
Speaker 4: need to eat. I'm fine with like she was. But
Speaker 4: they were all there and calm and positive. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 4: I gotta quit complaining.
Speaker 5: About Well, it's easy to be calm when your heart
Speaker 5: is barely beating. Yeah right, there's no food that what
Speaker 5: like being zen like you cheach like navy seals teach
Speaker 5: themselves how to lower their.
Speaker 1: Heart rate, like this woman is like halfway there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were all doing things like that. It was the
Speaker 1: calm people.
Speaker 4: It was the people that were like had their minds
Speaker 4: running that were maybe thoughtful that right away were like,
Speaker 4: I can't. I there's a million reasons to quit right now.
Speaker 4: And then there's these other survivalist robots that and the
Speaker 4: women were the most badass on it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you guys have I mean, any guy that's like
Speaker 5: the squirrel trusted me and I earned his trust is
Speaker 5: like and did it have a name and was it
Speaker 5: speaking to you?
Speaker 1: Like the squirrel just got tricked? That's all? Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: that's Survival of the Fittest? What your romantic? How close
Speaker 1: to the tanks got to that volleyball?
Speaker 7: Though?
Speaker 5: They all they Wilson out, Well, do you have anything
Speaker 5: any like additional things you want to plug besides what's been.
Speaker 1: Plugged for you? Side a hit podcast?
Speaker 6: Just yeah, no, listen to That's Messed Up and that's
Speaker 6: for you podcasts And if you're interested in my stand up,
Speaker 6: I have an album on iTunes called Undefeated.
Speaker 1: But that's all for me. Nice and yeah, you're going
Speaker 1: to be addicted. You got to go to Apple podcast
Speaker 1: look at the top charts and every time you put
Speaker 1: out an episode, that's what I do. I look and
Speaker 1: make sure that it's in that at least top two hundred.
Speaker 1: Oh have we been We were up there right, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: we always It makes me feel great. Yeah, we're always
Speaker 1: good fifty. Yeah, we're killing it, Karen Nor great. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean, guys, if you're listening right now, rate, review
Speaker 5: and subscribe any podcast that you like, because it really
Speaker 5: affects the ratings.
Speaker 1: That is true. Yeah, we haven't said that for a while,
Speaker 1: and do that right away. Take Karas podcast. We'll say
Speaker 1: for Karas and we'll say it for this one as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's messed up. As currently number ten on the True
Speaker 1: Crime I.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know. I didn't know. I saw that
Speaker 1: we were like thirty eight of all podcasts. I didn't
Speaker 1: see that we were ten of True Ground. That's so exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta look up episodic as well.
Speaker 6: And I saw I actually read a review today on
Speaker 6: our Apple podcast that was really funny that said, so
Speaker 6: excited to listen to this one star.
Speaker 5: So just make sure that you is actually corresponding to
Speaker 5: the number of stars that you're getting. I get that,
Speaker 5: I get that, you know phones are slippery, but come on, yeah, no, that.
Speaker 1: Was someone like a golfer that thinks the lower the score,
Speaker 1: the better. Yeah, that's the car. That's why I gave
Speaker 1: it one. It's so funny. One star. That's hilarious. Awesome. Well, congratulations,
Speaker 1: you know you're in the game. Thank you, thanks for
Speaker 1: lost of us. Welcome to the family, Cara, thank you,
Speaker 1: Welcome to I was trying to do a Mafia voice,
Speaker 1: but it came out differently. It came out it came
Speaker 1: out as an alone with you guys in real life.
Speaker 4: Soon, yes, all high, but I will hug all of
Speaker 4: you uncomfortably uh comfortably long.
Speaker 1: We'll have our own Magiano's party.
Speaker 5: Yes, I'm wrap to go to a back room of
Speaker 5: Magianos and I'm making every comic to.
Speaker 1: A set with a tiny lap mic. Shit we have
Speaker 1: and you have to introduce. Everybody has to.
Speaker 5: Introduce the comic that's after that, so you always have
Speaker 5: to hand the mic to the next comic.
Speaker 1: I have to show you this mon that's been my time.
Speaker 1: But you know what coming up right after me. You're
Speaker 1: gonna love Africa. We have tiny we'll have tiny laceol
Speaker 1: wipes and we'll wipe it off here. We have comics.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's essentially the size that it where it
Speaker 1: is that size but there we.
Speaker 4: Get to a mic pack, so I have to hold
Speaker 4: that in my others Okay, sorry, I had to leap across.
Speaker 1: I had to pull a muscle in my leg to
Speaker 1: grab my tiny microphone. Thank you for being on.
Speaker 5: Keep it on for the Magiano's showcase night that will
Speaker 5: I would say early fall of twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1: Maggiano's doing a showcase.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 5: It's gonna be called tiny mic Oh.
Speaker 1: This was fun, guys, Thank you so much. I thank
Speaker 1: you for the whole time. Even though I'm in a garage. Nice,
Speaker 1: I'm a garage to the outside, like that's the outside.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, wow, carport. Someone has an unused power
Speaker 1: peralta skateboard to your Hey, that's money. That is money, baby,
Speaker 1: I guess yeah right away, Biggin's house. I knew exactly
Speaker 1: the brand. That's what a nerd I am. That's a
Speaker 1: skateboard nerd for you.
Speaker 6: Thanks well, Sally, Thank you for doing this and at
Speaker 6: five o'clock so that I could missped time.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna roll right into dinner over. I'm gonna yes
Speaker 1: my own thing, go drink a bunch of wine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks a lot for being on. You've been listening. Do
Speaker 1: you need a ride? Do you yann? Are I leave you?
Speaker 1: Wanta way back? Either want to be there?
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim to give us.
Speaker 2: Time and a terminol and gay we.
Speaker 3: Want to send you off in style. Do you want
Speaker 3: to welcome you back home? Tell us all about ity scared?
Speaker 1: He was it fine?
Speaker 3: Malborn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: To ride?
Speaker 7: Do you need
Speaker 1: With Karen and Chress