Speaker 1: Pushkin ry. Hey Amy, how's it going good?
Speaker 2: How are you guys doing?
Speaker 3: If you told me when I was a kid that
Speaker 3: I would one day be making free video calls to
Speaker 3: friends and colleagues all over the planet, I'd probably have
Speaker 3: said that you'd seen Star Wars one too many times.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for taking the time for this.
Speaker 2: So happy to join you guys. This is exciting.
Speaker 3: But today, in twenty twenty four, we use video calls
Speaker 3: and so many other amazing technologies all the time.
Speaker 1: We totally take them for granted.
Speaker 2: How is the audio sounding? Are we good?
Speaker 1: I think so?
Speaker 3: I mean I can share my photos instantly with hundreds
Speaker 3: of relatives. I can find any existing recipe or song
Speaker 3: lyric and seconds and yes, I can now even watch.
Speaker 1: Star Wars on my phone.
Speaker 2: Sounds great, awesome?
Speaker 1: Your recording is so you have headphones?
Speaker 2: Thank you?
Speaker 1: And are you able to record your side?
Speaker 3: Modern technology is amazing, but it does have a downside.
Speaker 3: Research shows that our screens and apps and devices are
Speaker 3: making us less social, less present, and even less happy.
Speaker 3: And that's why I'm jumping on zoom with Amy Blankson.
Speaker 4: I am the chief evangelist for the Digital Wellness Institute Masa,
Speaker 4: the best selling author of the Future of Happiness and
Speaker 4: I Am thrilled to be here.
Speaker 3: Amy is at the forefront of a new holiday known
Speaker 3: as Digital Wellness Day, which falls on May third. In
Speaker 3: honor of Digital Wellness Day, I've asked Amy to share
Speaker 3: her favorite ten tips that we can all use to
Speaker 3: bring more balance to the way we use our devices well.
Speaker 1: First off, what is.
Speaker 2: Digital Wellness Day?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 4: Digital Wellness Day is a global holiday where we literally
Speaker 4: just pause to think about how we interact with our technology.
Speaker 2: When, where, why?
Speaker 1: How?
Speaker 4: We know that some individuals really need that quiet space
Speaker 4: in the morning to be mindful. Others need to get
Speaker 4: through the slog of the day and then have time
Speaker 4: at the end of the day to reflect on their habits.
Speaker 4: But wherever you're coming from, there's an opportunity to learn
Speaker 4: more about the ways that we interact with our technology.
Speaker 4: Because it has become such a dominant force in our lives.
Speaker 3: Why is this something we need to get intentional about.
Speaker 3: What's the problem with our digital technologies and why it's
Speaker 3: negatively affecting our happiness?
Speaker 4: So I would say that technology is not necessarily negatively
Speaker 4: impacting our happiness. That was actually my assumption when I
Speaker 4: started my book and as I got into the research,
Speaker 4: that was actually not the case. The big differentiation here
Speaker 4: is that it's the way that we're using our technology,
Speaker 4: and the truth is that when we're not mindful about
Speaker 4: how we're interacting, we wind up falling prey to the
Speaker 4: snowball effect, which is that the snowball starts at the
Speaker 4: top of a mountain very slowly and gain steam and
Speaker 4: by the end it's.
Speaker 2: Going such a velocity that it's hard to keep up with.
Speaker 4: We know that with our digital technology that fifty percent
Speaker 4: of the time we pick up our phone, nobody's actually
Speaker 4: called or messaged us. We're picking it up because the
Speaker 4: need to be needed is actually highly addictive. And follow
Speaker 4: that up by the fact that the second time you
Speaker 4: reach for your phone, fifty percent of the time, it's
Speaker 4: within two minutes of picking it up the first time.
Speaker 4: So as the day rolls on, we are literally reaching
Speaker 4: for our devices constantly, and the downside of that is
Speaker 4: that we're a little bit less connected with other people
Speaker 4: in our lives. We're less productive, we're making more errors,
Speaker 4: we're feeling less happy about the way that we interact
Speaker 4: with the world around us, and how tuned in we
Speaker 4: are to ourselves and other people as well, and so
Speaker 4: we know that has ripple effects and to burn out
Speaker 4: mental health issues as well as physical problems like our backs,
Speaker 4: our eyes, our necks. And so without really contemplating the
Speaker 4: importance of this topic, I think it's hard to make
Speaker 4: a difference in it change until you can actually see it.
Speaker 3: And so this year, the particular theme of Digital Wellness
Speaker 3: Day is digital balance. What is digital balance and why
Speaker 3: is it so important to achieve?
Speaker 4: So digital balance is really finding that sweet spot we
Speaker 4: call it a spot of digital flourishing where it's not
Speaker 4: that you are a dicted to technology and it's not
Speaker 4: that you're swearing it off either. It's really that you're
Speaker 4: finding that happy medium where technology is working for you,
Speaker 4: not the other way around. And so the idea of
Speaker 4: digital balance is that each one of us has the
Speaker 4: capacity to find a better sense of balance, no matter
Speaker 4: where your baseline is today, we all can do a
Speaker 4: better job of being more thoughtful and really getting control
Speaker 4: of the way that we're interacting with our technology.
Speaker 3: And so today we're going to walk through some of
Speaker 3: your top ten tips for achieving digital balance in the
Speaker 3: complicated spot we find ourselves in in twenty twenty four
Speaker 3: right now. And one of the tips that you talk
Speaker 3: about a lot, which I think is really relevant for
Speaker 3: finding digital balance in our home lives, is finding ways
Speaker 3: that we could become more intentional with our technology. Why
Speaker 3: is kind of our intent so important there?
Speaker 4: So our intent is important because when you set your intention,
Speaker 4: you are forty percent more likely to follow through on actions.
Speaker 4: So intent, for me actually starts with data. It starts
Speaker 4: with being able to get a real gauge of what
Speaker 4: are your behaviors today, and then you can set an
Speaker 4: intention so that moving forward you have an idea of
Speaker 4: exactly what you'd like to see.
Speaker 2: Change in your life.
Speaker 4: I'm a bit of a data geek, so maybe that
Speaker 4: doesn't work for everyone, but I do find that that
Speaker 4: moment where I have people in an audience pull out
Speaker 4: their phone and look at their screen time is always
Speaker 4: an AHA moment, even if you've done it before. I
Speaker 4: think these numbers sneak up on us, and when we
Speaker 4: bring our awareness back to the numbers, then we can
Speaker 4: set an intention to go forward.
Speaker 3: And so one of the ways we can get intentional
Speaker 3: is to really learn about those numbers. Do you have
Speaker 3: particular techniques that you suggest to the people you work
Speaker 3: with for how to do that better.
Speaker 4: I do so when I have people go look into
Speaker 4: their phones before they ever touch their phone, I want
Speaker 4: them to think in their minds about how much time
Speaker 4: they think they're spending online and what are the top
Speaker 4: three apps they think they're using. And I want them
Speaker 4: to think about what are their top three values in
Speaker 4: their life? Is it success? Is it fame? Is it fortune?
Speaker 4: Is it family? Is it friends? Is it faith? Whatever
Speaker 4: it is for you, those things should be the anchoring
Speaker 4: things that determine how you use your time. Then I
Speaker 4: have people guesstimate how long they're think that they're spending
Speaker 4: on those three apps, and then we go look and
Speaker 4: we get the real gut check in that moment of
Speaker 4: how accurate were you? And I would say about ten
Speaker 4: percent of the time people are accurate and ninety percent
Speaker 4: of the time you hear a few guesps in the
Speaker 4: audience as they realize, oh my gosh, I had no idea,
Speaker 4: could this even be possible? And it's that moment, it's
Speaker 4: that light bulb moment that suddenly people are inspired to
Speaker 4: create change. And you know this as well, Doctor Santos,
Speaker 4: that with all of the behavioral of modifications that we
Speaker 4: are trying to create through positive psychology. That awareness is
Speaker 4: that first step, and then comes the recognition that you
Speaker 4: need to do something on the back end.
Speaker 3: And one of the things you suggests that people do
Speaker 3: is it kind of little hack that I really like,
Speaker 3: which is you call it a really rule?
Speaker 1: What's the really rule? And how can that make us
Speaker 1: more intentional?
Speaker 4: The really rule comes from my brother when he was
Speaker 4: helping me downsize my house and we were about to move,
Speaker 4: and as he walked around the house with me, he
Speaker 4: literally was following me around, going, Amy, do.
Speaker 2: You really need this? Come on?
Speaker 4: Like we had our sorting piles, and we had our
Speaker 4: giving away piles and selling piles and literally everything he
Speaker 4: would say really, but his voice got.
Speaker 2: In my head. And so now when I'm thinking about my.
Speaker 4: Digital habits, I use what's called the really rule. Thank
Speaker 4: you Shanni Koor for that, which is that moment where
Speaker 4: you can think about how necessary it is to pick
Speaker 4: up your phone to use that app, to play that game,
Speaker 4: to read that extra book when you have other things
Speaker 4: you might need to be doing. Because we all have
Speaker 4: some distractions that are good for us, right that are
Speaker 4: actually helpful. One cat video can be fantastic for boosting
Speaker 4: your mood. Twenty cat videos is when you start to
Speaker 4: have an issue, right, and so there's that point of
Speaker 4: maximum utility and then a.
Speaker 2: Steep drop off point.
Speaker 4: We want to be able to be so mindful and
Speaker 4: aware thoughtful that we can say, really, do I really
Speaker 4: need to watch another cat video? Or is this enough
Speaker 4: for today? And that gut check is very helpful.
Speaker 3: I love this rule because it can really allow you
Speaker 3: to say no, no right now. Actually that engagement with
Speaker 3: my technology feels fun. Like I've been in this period
Speaker 3: where I've been traveling a lot, so I find myself
Speaker 3: spending a lot more time than usual in like airport
Speaker 3: waiting lounges and just kind of sitting around. And sometimes
Speaker 3: when I use the really rule, it's like, you know,
Speaker 3: should I really be checking my email or looking at
Speaker 3: you know, goofy things on Reddit? And it's like, I've
Speaker 3: got four minutes to get on this plane. I'm just
Speaker 3: killing time. Yeah, this makes sense. But then sometimes I
Speaker 3: realize like, oh, actually, is there something else I could
Speaker 3: be doing?
Speaker 1: Is this really the best use of my time?
Speaker 3: And then I'll think back to all the research on
Speaker 3: social connection and say, oh, maybe I should talk to
Speaker 3: the person sitting next to me, or maybe I should
Speaker 3: you know, text a friend.
Speaker 1: And so it was a really useful rule when I
Speaker 1: heard you talk about.
Speaker 3: It, because it was like, it's just like kind of
Speaker 3: a gut check or like a reminder of like is
Speaker 3: this is this the best use of my time right now?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 3: And it was really powerful for me. No, no, no
Speaker 3: pun intended. I guess another great tip you give is
Speaker 3: the power of finding a stopping queue. What do you
Speaker 3: mean by a stopping queue? And how can we build
Speaker 3: more of those into our kind of digital activities online?
Speaker 4: So stopping cues are those moments where you have something
Speaker 4: that helps queue you visually or even an auditory signal
Speaker 4: that says this is a moment that maybe is a
Speaker 4: time to step back or pause. For some people who
Speaker 4: are familiar with the Pomodoro technique. There's some fantastic apps
Speaker 4: online and yes I'm talking about using fire to fight
Speaker 4: fire here, but I like to use one called the
Speaker 4: Insight timer, and it is literally a timer that counts
Speaker 4: down and then it dings at the end. So what
Speaker 4: that's doing is number one is giving me a visual
Speaker 4: cue Amy, it's time to focus, and it's only going
Speaker 4: to be twenty minutes. And then the sound cueue reminds
Speaker 4: me to come back out of that and say, Okay,
Speaker 4: you've been.
Speaker 2: Working for a good, deep chunk of time.
Speaker 4: Now it's time to take a moment to stand up
Speaker 4: and take a breather. And as long as the science
Speaker 4: of distraction has been emerging since the early seventies, this
Speaker 4: has been a very helpful strategy to help to signal
Speaker 4: our brains this is deep work, this is a little
Speaker 4: bit lighter work. And when you can bounce back and
Speaker 4: forth between the two of them, you actually boost your
Speaker 4: productivity by giving your brain many breaks and deeper focus breaks.
Speaker 3: But I found the stopping cues even more relevant for like,
Speaker 3: I'm just scrolling through Reddit, and my brain, I'm just
Speaker 3: going to do that for like two seconds. I'm just
Speaker 3: going to go through a couple TikTok videos, But without
Speaker 3: the stopping cue, I could be there for much more
Speaker 3: time than, you know, a couple minutes, sadly, embarrassingly, So,
Speaker 3: how can we use these stopping queues kind of for
Speaker 3: leisure that we might want to get a little kind
Speaker 3: of digital distraction in, but not to get stuck there.
Speaker 4: So and this is such a great call out there
Speaker 4: as well, because the way that our technology is designed
Speaker 4: is actually based on certain techniques that are designed to
Speaker 4: keep our brains interacting and highly attuned to the content.
Speaker 4: And so what the stopping technique does in that sense
Speaker 4: is it takes what's been designed in an app as
Speaker 4: what's called the bottomless bowl, meaning that if you scroll
Speaker 4: on TikTok, you will scroll and scroll and scroll, and
Speaker 4: you will never reach the bottom.
Speaker 2: And so there is no signal to you saying it's
Speaker 2: time to stop.
Speaker 4: More apps that are being focused on human centered design
Speaker 4: are starting to create a limit the number of videos
Speaker 4: that they post at a given time because it's a
Speaker 4: healthier way to consume content. So if you look on Pinterest,
Speaker 4: or if you look on some of the news media apps,
Speaker 4: you'll scroll down maybe for a couple minutes, and then
Speaker 4: it will stop. It's not that the content stops, it's
Speaker 4: just design feature that helps you to know, okay, time
Speaker 4: to stop. When you don't have that in an app.
Speaker 4: Those are the apps that are the most dangerous for us,
Speaker 4: the ones that suck us in the most, and the
Speaker 4: ones that require us as individuals to be stronger and
Speaker 4: more intentional about setting boundaries for ourselves so that we
Speaker 4: don't get sucked in.
Speaker 3: And so these are some ways that we can be
Speaker 3: a little bit more intentional about our technology use. But
Speaker 3: the next tip that you give us is that we
Speaker 3: also have to manage our technological distraction. You know, how
Speaker 3: does technologies steal our attention away? And how are even
Speaker 3: simple things like the technology we have around us messing
Speaker 3: with what we get to think about.
Speaker 4: So if you want to experience this firsthand, one of
Speaker 4: the most interesting ways to see exactly how technology is
Speaker 4: arresting our attention is by switching your phone into grayscale mode.
Speaker 4: So if you don't know how to do this, just
Speaker 4: google how do I turn my phone into grayscale. It's
Speaker 4: a very simple three or four step process. But essentially
Speaker 4: what it does is it takes all of the color
Speaker 4: off of your screen, all the flashing lights, and sometimes
Speaker 4: you can even turn off all the sounds.
Speaker 2: You get this very blank canvas. And I've had people.
Speaker 4: Who've been able to do the gray scale for maybe
Speaker 4: a day, two days, three days, and then it will
Speaker 4: drive you nuts because it's so boring.
Speaker 2: You don't want to look at it anymore.
Speaker 4: So that just shows you just how much the interplay
Speaker 4: of color, light, sound flashing does to stimulate our visual
Speaker 4: cortex and how effective it is at keeping our attention
Speaker 4: focused on whatever is put in front of us. And
Speaker 4: that's why pop ups are so effective, is because they
Speaker 4: literally come into your space and they take your attention
Speaker 4: away from what you were doing before, and so this
Speaker 4: is not by accident. Tristan Harris, who's the former Google
Speaker 4: design ethicist, will often talk about how our phones were
Speaker 4: designed like slot machines and that they were designed to
Speaker 4: hijack our attention. And I love that message, but I
Speaker 4: also want to call out that I think we as
Speaker 4: human beings are stronger than these companies are designing for.
Speaker 4: I think that we have the power to control our minds.
Speaker 4: We just have to set our attention that this is
Speaker 4: something that we care about, that we want to do,
Speaker 4: and that we're going to get better at because our
Speaker 4: attention is so important and so vital to our life.
Speaker 3: So it's simple. Just use a bit of willpower and
Speaker 3: you can resist the urge to pick.
Speaker 1: Up your phone so often. Well as you might have guessed,
Speaker 1: it's not really that easy.
Speaker 3: You'll hear why when the happiness lad returns in a moment.
Speaker 3: Author in digital wellness evangelist Amy Blankson already shared some
Speaker 3: quick strategies we can use to prevent our screens from
Speaker 3: taking over our limited attention, simple things like switching our
Speaker 3: phones to grayscale or asking the question do I really
Speaker 3: need to be checking this AUP right now? But she
Speaker 3: also thinks we need to think a bit more radically.
Speaker 4: So there was a study called the Mirror Present Study
Speaker 4: that found that the simply having your phone in your
Speaker 4: line of sight decreases your attention, your focus, your connection
Speaker 4: to the person or the task at hand, and that
Speaker 4: by simply hiding your phone you can actually reclaim ten
Speaker 4: percent of your brain power. So what this means to
Speaker 4: me is that literally, when I'm working, I'll tuck my
Speaker 4: phone behind my laptop or desktop screen, or I'll put
Speaker 4: it in my back pocket, or I'll put it in
Speaker 4: a bag. So it's not that it's not there. I'm
Speaker 4: not walking away from it because sometimes people are uncomfortable
Speaker 4: with that. All I'm doing is getting out of my
Speaker 4: line of site. And the reason why this works is
Speaker 4: because of that factor that the need to be needed
Speaker 4: is so strong that our eyes are actually flickering back
Speaker 4: and forth between our screen and our task or the
Speaker 4: person we're.
Speaker 2: With because we might be needed.
Speaker 4: And that leads to another factor that I am on
Speaker 4: a soapbox lately about the importance of not fubbing our
Speaker 4: friends and fubbing. For those of you who've never heard
Speaker 4: of this term, I apologize in advance for introducing you
Speaker 4: to it because you might hate me later. But fubbing
Speaker 4: is phone snubbing, and it is that moment where you're
Speaker 4: having an awesome conversation with someone when all of a
Speaker 4: sudden they get a notification.
Speaker 2: On their phone.
Speaker 4: They look down, and it's not that notification that gets them,
Speaker 4: it's the one that pops up after that that they're
Speaker 4: suddenly lost. And then by the time they come back
Speaker 4: to you, they say, oh, I'm so sorry about that.
Speaker 2: What were we talking about again? That's fubbing.
Speaker 4: You are now going to see it everywhere, and I
Speaker 4: think that that is the kind of impact that we're
Speaker 4: trying to eliminate when we're focusing on the mere presence
Speaker 4: of a device on our line of site. By having
Speaker 4: out of our line of site, there's nothing to go check,
Speaker 4: there's nothing to interrupt us. And that's us taking control
Speaker 4: of our physical space as well as our mental space
Speaker 4: there as well.
Speaker 3: So this is a nice transition to your third tip
Speaker 3: that we need to engage with if we want to
Speaker 3: find more digital balance, which is that we need to
Speaker 3: be protecting our in real life social connections from digital
Speaker 3: distraction and so many kind of digital challenges. You know,
Speaker 3: I know that we've talked a lot on this podcast
Speaker 3: about the importance of social relationships, but talk about how technology,
Speaker 3: beyond just fubbing, can kind of mess with our kind
Speaker 3: of social connection that we experience in real life.
Speaker 4: Well, we've certainly seen the rise of mental health concerns,
Speaker 4: not just in the United States but across the globe,
Speaker 4: and especially for our young people. And it's no accident
Speaker 4: that this is a topic that comes back time and
Speaker 4: time again to not just social.
Speaker 2: Media, but also our devices.
Speaker 4: We see it with gaming, we see it with getting
Speaker 4: lost in work for some of our hyper responsible young people.
Speaker 4: We see it and the ways that we interact with
Speaker 4: one another and feel less connected because we're not making.
Speaker 2: As much eye contact.
Speaker 4: We know that the brain has what's called mirror neurons,
Speaker 4: which means that there's an emotional contagion effect that happens
Speaker 4: between individuals.
Speaker 2: You see this all the time.
Speaker 4: When one person yawns, the next person yawns, Well, imagine
Speaker 4: if they can't see each other, you don't get that connection.
Speaker 4: The same thing happens not just with yawning, but also
Speaker 4: with positive mood effect as well as negative affect. So
Speaker 4: if we're not seeing one another, we literally can't have
Speaker 4: that hardwired connection that we've had for all of human
Speaker 4: existence before now.
Speaker 2: And so by getting the.
Speaker 4: Devices out of our way, by reconnecting with our eyes,
Speaker 4: with our bodies, with our attention, that's what really helps
Speaker 4: us to form those bonds. And that's so important, as
Speaker 4: we know, to social capital and bridging and bonding as well.
Speaker 3: Another one of those strategies you suggest for how we
Speaker 3: can kind of get back to kind of engaging with
Speaker 3: each other socially away from our technology is to find
Speaker 3: some screen free activities. I love this because I feel
Speaker 3: like so much of my social connection unfortunately involves screens.
Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna hang out with my husband, but we're
Speaker 3: going to watch a movie together, watch Netflix, or you know,
Speaker 3: we're gonna kind of get together with friends, but we
Speaker 3: all have our phones, right beside us, and whenever that
Speaker 3: lull in the conversation comes, we pull them out. What
Speaker 3: are some good ideas for non screen social activities that
Speaker 3: we can engage in, and what are some rules that
Speaker 3: we can put in place around our technology when we're
Speaker 3: engaging in those new activities.
Speaker 4: I like that question, and I think that it is
Speaker 4: interesting because there are so many activities that exist that
Speaker 4: we have done for years and years, but we're beginning
Speaker 4: to kind of forget what the options are get.
Speaker 3: I know, it's like so sad, right, Like it's like, well,
Speaker 3: what can we do tonight? Like I guess we'll do
Speaker 3: something with the screen because we just like aren't creative
Speaker 3: enough to come up with these other ideas.
Speaker 4: Right is our creativity leaving us because of a lack
Speaker 4: of use. It's like a muscle that we're forgetting. But
Speaker 4: there's all sorts of activities from playing games outside playing
Speaker 4: board games, from playing games, like for my children, they
Speaker 4: still love Hide and go Seek, or there's art, there's music,
Speaker 4: there's just sitting and being still and noticing the world
Speaker 4: around you, just trying new foods and cooking. I really
Speaker 4: liked it encourage people when they're trying to think of
Speaker 4: this list is to actually write it down somewhere so
Speaker 4: that when you hit that moment of what should I do? Now,
Speaker 4: you have a go to list of all the other
Speaker 4: things that you also enjoy that you can pick something
Speaker 4: off the list.
Speaker 2: And we see this some people.
Speaker 4: Have like a little jar of popsicle so you randomly
Speaker 4: pull out a popsicle stick that has an idea for
Speaker 4: something to do. But what's essentially happening here is you're
Speaker 4: creating a different opportunity. Cost right, you could do this,
Speaker 4: but you also get a lot of joy out of that.
Speaker 4: So we're going to try to balance and as you
Speaker 4: said earlier, it's not an either or, it's an and
Speaker 4: it's an opportunity that you can have time to watch
Speaker 4: a movie and really enjoy that, and we can do
Speaker 4: some other things to balance out that time as well.
Speaker 3: And so those are some ways that we can kind
Speaker 3: of boost up our in real life social connection. But
Speaker 3: there's a second in real life thing we need to
Speaker 3: pay attention to it if we're trying to achieve digital balance,
Speaker 3: which is like our bodies and how they're affected by
Speaker 3: our digital world. And so I think this is something
Speaker 3: we often forget when it comes to kind of thinking
Speaker 3: about how our technology can make us happier. But tell
Speaker 3: me a little bit about the challenges that our bodies
Speaker 3: face as we become more digital natives and interact with
Speaker 3: screens more often.
Speaker 4: The physical challenge that we experience with being on screens
Speaker 4: more is obviously the sedentary nature of sitting in front
Speaker 4: of a screen creates less activity in our bodies, which
Speaker 4: makes it harder to.
Speaker 2: Regulate our metabolism.
Speaker 4: It changes our sleep habits, and it also makes us
Speaker 4: even sometimes forget to eat or to mindlessly eat because
Speaker 4: you're so busy watching something. So we know the mind
Speaker 4: body connection here is really strong, and it's something that
Speaker 4: we could be paying more attention to you. This is
Speaker 4: another one of those moments, though, where I think that
Speaker 4: we can fight fire with fire. We know fitbits have
Speaker 4: been amazing or the Apple Watch has been incredible for
Speaker 4: helping motivate individuals with data to change their behavior or
Speaker 4: track their behaviors, been known to raise your mindfulness. So
Speaker 4: I wouldn't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater,
Speaker 4: but I do think that there is a balance.
Speaker 2: We also hear a lot of individuals who.
Speaker 4: Get lost in tracking data. They are so concerned about
Speaker 4: their streaks, that they lose track of the fact that
Speaker 4: the whole purpose was to do other things besides being online.
Speaker 4: And so again we come back to this place of
Speaker 4: let's make technology work for us, not us work for
Speaker 4: our technology, and any other.
Speaker 3: Tips for how we can use technology a bit more
Speaker 3: ergonomically in ways that really support our posture and the
Speaker 3: kinds of ways we want to hold our body.
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely so.
Speaker 4: Having a screen that is at your line of sight
Speaker 4: is so important for those of you out there who
Speaker 4: have been spending a lot of time on a laptop.
Speaker 4: Because the screens are smaller, we tend to hunch down
Speaker 4: because the table height is not set out a line
Speaker 4: of sight for a laptop, and so the idea might
Speaker 4: be to either put your laptop higher on a stack
Speaker 4: of books, or it might be to have a desk
Speaker 4: that raises some lowers depending on where you're looking into
Speaker 4: your camera. You would not believe they kind of impact
Speaker 4: this makes on back pain, on neck pain and posture
Speaker 4: as well. It took me writing a book about digital
Speaker 4: wellness to pay attention to the factor, and once I did,
Speaker 4: I wasn't visiting the chiropractor all the time. I was
Speaker 4: able to go through a day and not feel like
Speaker 4: my whole body hurt just from sitting at work, and
Speaker 4: it's really important.
Speaker 3: Another thing that's really important, which gets us to tip
Speaker 3: number five, is that we need to kind of navigate
Speaker 3: our technology use in the bedroom in order to protect
Speaker 3: our sleep. How has technology been affecting sleep and what
Speaker 3: are some best practices we can do to allow ourselves
Speaker 3: to protect our sleep while still enjoying the screens that
Speaker 3: we enjoy so much.
Speaker 2: So there is some debate on this topic.
Speaker 4: Actually, we've heard a lot about the importance of keeping
Speaker 4: your phone out of the bedroom, and that specifically because
Speaker 4: the blue light that's emitted from your screen has been
Speaker 4: known to mess with your circadian rhythms, which makes it
Speaker 4: harder for you to fall asleep, makes it harder for
Speaker 4: you to have good sleep and then wake up at
Speaker 4: it at a decent hour. And the second reason why
Speaker 4: it's advised to keep your phone out of the bedroom
Speaker 4: is because it's really tempting to check that email right
Speaker 4: before bed, or to stay up watching something on your screen,
Speaker 4: or to mess around, you know, playing a game or whatever.
Speaker 4: And so the temptation is so high, I will tell
Speaker 4: you truthfully, and I think it's important as a digital
Speaker 4: wellness expert to be as authentic as possible. I do
Speaker 4: sleep with my phone right beside my bed, and there's
Speaker 4: two reasons why. Number one is because there's now the
Speaker 4: ability to change the amount of blue light emitted on
Speaker 4: your phone, so you can actually decrease the brightness if
Speaker 4: it's not as impactful. Too, is I still use it
Speaker 4: as my alarm calendar. That helps me feel more at peace,
Speaker 4: and so if we're just going to be really real
Speaker 4: here right now, that's important for me. The third reason
Speaker 4: is I actually like to read myself to sleep, and
Speaker 4: I find that is the number one thing that helps
Speaker 4: me to naturally wind my brain down at the end
Speaker 4: of the day. And so if I can have the
Speaker 4: self control enough to not check that email right before bed,
Speaker 4: then it works. If we don't have that self control,
Speaker 4: then it can become a problem. And so it comes
Speaker 4: back to evaluating for yourself, what are your triggers, what
Speaker 4: are your boundaries, what works for you, And if there's
Speaker 4: a way that you can keep your phone great, if
Speaker 4: it feels better or you think that it will help
Speaker 4: you to reach your goals by keeping it out of
Speaker 4: the bedroom, that I highly suggest it.
Speaker 3: Another strategy you've mentioned, which I think is a nice
Speaker 3: balance when maybe keeping your phone there but not kind
Speaker 3: of going to it as much, is this idea of
Speaker 3: a screen free morning practice, so that your first moments
Speaker 3: of wakefulness aren't interacting with that screen. Any good ideas
Speaker 3: for how to engage with that screen free morning practice.
Speaker 4: I'm a huge advocate of the screen free morning practice,
Speaker 4: and I'm still working on this practice myself, but I
Speaker 4: think starting with baby steps is really important and understanding
Speaker 4: the rationale for why would you not look at your
Speaker 4: phone first thing in the morning, And the reason is
Speaker 4: that when we open our phone, we have I think
Speaker 4: the average number of notifications per day is three hundred
Speaker 4: and twenty three notifications that are pinging at us throughout
Speaker 4: the day my gosh, right, so including I'm sure a
Speaker 4: bunch at night.
Speaker 3: So as soon as you wake up, there's like a
Speaker 3: whole host of them just sitting there.
Speaker 4: They are all waiting for you, and they will be
Speaker 4: there still even a little bit later in the morning.
Speaker 4: So the thought is that rather than wake up to
Speaker 4: the tyranny of the urgent, why not give yourself that
Speaker 4: headspace where you control the course of your day where
Speaker 4: you allow other people's thoughts and when you're ready. Most
Speaker 4: of us don't want to wake up to a fire alarm.
Speaker 4: And that's the equivalent of what's happening when we open
Speaker 4: our phone and you think, Oh, this bill needs to
Speaker 4: get paid, Oh, this person needs to go there, the
Speaker 4: dog needs to get groomed. This project you forgot, you
Speaker 4: didn't do ten tasks yesterday. Oh my gosh, my stress
Speaker 4: levels rising. Right, So do yourself a solid keep that
Speaker 4: for as long as you can to have that morning
Speaker 4: mindfulness space, and even if it's five minutes for the
Speaker 4: start of the day, that's a great place to start.
Speaker 3: And if you are using your phone even in the
Speaker 3: mornings or however, one other tip, tip number six is
Speaker 3: to find ways to use your technology to make sure
Speaker 3: you're doing the kinds of happiness hacks that you've heard
Speaker 3: about on this podcast and elsewhere. When I think about
Speaker 3: my morning's screen practice, one of the things I like
Speaker 3: to do is to kind of quickly scribble in a
Speaker 3: gratitude journal or maybe to open up a screen, maybe
Speaker 3: my laptop, and do a quick journaling practice. How can
Speaker 3: we kind of maybe incorporate more technology into the healthier
Speaker 3: side of practices and maybe what are some other examples
Speaker 3: that people could think about in their own lives.
Speaker 4: So one of the things that I love to talk
Speaker 4: to audiences about is what's called the J game. And
Speaker 4: these are the five most well researched habits, positive habits
Speaker 4: that can help raise your baseline for happiness. You know
Speaker 4: these well, Doctor Santos, But these would be J for journaling,
Speaker 4: G for gratitude, A for acts of kindness, IN for meditation,
Speaker 4: and E for exercise. And while these are all potentially
Speaker 4: offline habits, I think there's also a way to do
Speaker 4: all five of them online. For instance, I know that
Speaker 4: iPhone now has a new journal app and it'll ping
Speaker 4: you at the evening to remind you, Hey, write down
Speaker 4: two or three things that happened today so you didn't forget.
Speaker 4: There's a gratitude app I love. It's called Gratitude, and
Speaker 4: it just gives you three blinks to write your gratitudes
Speaker 4: and it keeps tracks so you can look back at.
Speaker 2: Them over time.
Speaker 4: For acts of kindness, I like to send a text
Speaker 4: message once a day to somebody in my social support
Speaker 4: network just saying hey, I'm thinking about you or thanks
Speaker 4: for something you did meditation, Check out.
Speaker 2: Headspace, check out YouTube.
Speaker 4: Lots of great resources and of course, exercise tying in
Speaker 4: some of the ways that we can be inspired to
Speaker 4: keep track of our health and fitness. These are always
Speaker 4: that if you have an intention to raise your happiness,
Speaker 4: you can use technology to do it or not. Either way,
Speaker 4: but whatever works best for you, you will need to
Speaker 4: find that so that you can stick with it over time.
Speaker 3: Finding digital balance during your leisure time is hugely important,
Speaker 3: but many of us spend the majority of our waking
Speaker 3: hours at work. How do we make sure our phones
Speaker 3: and screens don't boss us around there? The Happiness Lab
Speaker 3: will be back in a moment. All my good intentions
Speaker 3: about finding a healthy digital balance fall by the wayside
Speaker 3: when it comes to work. I know I should be
Speaker 3: avoiding screens and Reddit rabbit holes in my free time,
Speaker 3: but as a profession with so many responsibilities, shouldn't I
Speaker 3: be responding to email at all hours or checking social
Speaker 3: media for the latest psychology news. It kind of feels
Speaker 3: like my duty. Author and digital wellness expert Amy Blankson
Speaker 3: isn't so sure.
Speaker 4: The greatest challenge in the workplace for finding digital balance
Speaker 4: is being able to carve out digital boundaries in a
Speaker 4: way that you feel will be seen and respected, especially
Speaker 4: by those who are more senior to you. I talk
Speaker 4: to employees all the time who are worried that if
Speaker 4: they don't respond to that email at eleven PM and
Speaker 4: all of their colleagues do, that they'll be seen as
Speaker 4: non responsive and this creates sort of a slippery slope
Speaker 4: of negative habits and round the clock, always on connectivity.
Speaker 2: That's not helping anyone.
Speaker 4: So really beginning to have those conversations at work is
Speaker 4: an important next step in terms of figuring out what
Speaker 4: is allowed, what kind of latitude do you have to
Speaker 4: make choices? And then for those who are junior to you,
Speaker 4: how can you impact their lives with what power you
Speaker 4: do have to set some policies or set some behaviors
Speaker 4: or even just social scripts in the workplace that help
Speaker 4: reinforce positive digital balance and a more positive digital culture.
Speaker 3: And so that was sort of tips umber seven how
Speaker 3: we can fight our hyperconnectivity. Your tip number eight is
Speaker 3: that we should think more about screen fatigue and how
Speaker 3: to deal with it.
Speaker 1: I think I know very very well what this is,
Speaker 1: but I want.
Speaker 3: To hear your definition of screen fatigue and I definitely
Speaker 3: want to hear all your tips that we can use
Speaker 3: to kind of deal with it and make it better.
Speaker 4: Screen fatigue is essentially when you get tired of looking
Speaker 4: at screens. A lot of times it is prompted by
Speaker 4: zoom fatigue, or team's fatigue, or even slack fatigue, but
Speaker 4: there is a general sense of malaise and even irritability
Speaker 4: that emerges when you're on a screen for too long.
Speaker 4: It could show up physically, like your eyes start to
Speaker 4: dry out or you start to get headaches, but for
Speaker 4: a lot of people, it's a lot more subtle than that.
Speaker 4: It's just that general sense of unrest that you're frustrated
Speaker 4: and you don't know why that comes from a screen fatigue.
Speaker 4: And we've had some interesting studies emerge now since the
Speaker 4: pandemic around why this happens specifically with zoom fatigue, and
Speaker 4: it's often called the Brady Bunch effect. And the idea is,
Speaker 4: like the Brady Bunch, you have all these different small
Speaker 4: screens and pictures of individuals that might be on the
Speaker 4: call with you, and your brain is spending so much
Speaker 4: energy flickering between all the other faces on the screen
Speaker 4: the chat. What you're looking like you're managing for your background,
Speaker 4: and so the amount of mental energy that it takes
Speaker 4: to manage all of that actually drains you way faster
Speaker 4: than an in person interaction would. And so as we
Speaker 4: are adults and professionals being mindful of our screen fatigue,
Speaker 4: it's really important to both plan for short breaks in
Speaker 4: between different screen activities and to give others that same
Speaker 4: sort of break when we're planning and scheduling activities. Because
Speaker 4: we know that this plays an important factor in burnout.
Speaker 3: It also seems that we just need to be a
Speaker 3: little bit more intentional about noticing it. I loved your
Speaker 3: comment about sometimes the screen fatigue isn't that I've developed
Speaker 3: some sort of mind grade or a headache. It's really
Speaker 3: just that, like, I'm incredibly frustrated on my last nerve,
Speaker 3: but that actually comes from the fact that I'm kind
Speaker 3: of a little bit more depleted because I've been on
Speaker 3: zoom calls all day. So any kind of tips for
Speaker 3: kind of noticing that and allowing it to I.
Speaker 4: Think that you'll notice it. Now that you've heard it,
Speaker 4: you think about it, you'll notice it more often. The
Speaker 4: harder question is what do you do on the back end?
Speaker 4: Once you notice it and you're required to be on
Speaker 4: Zoom all day for work.
Speaker 2: And there are a few hacks that I'm finding.
Speaker 4: My number one most favorite hack so far as that
Speaker 4: when people book meetings with me on my calendar, I
Speaker 4: made a new option that's called the walk and talk option,
Speaker 4: So you can meet with me. They're thirty minutes or
Speaker 4: an hour, or you could have a walk and talk
Speaker 4: and we could put on tennis shoes and walk in
Speaker 4: the sunshine and be aware that there might be when
Speaker 4: there might be noise, but we're both just going to
Speaker 4: embrace it and love the fact that we can get
Speaker 4: away from the desk for a little bit. People have
Speaker 4: been loving this option, so I think there's some ways
Speaker 4: that we can reclaim that. I also really recommend that
Speaker 4: when you feel like that frustration rising up within yourself
Speaker 4: with screen fatigue, is to step away, step away from
Speaker 4: the computer, and then do something really manual. So if
Speaker 4: you happen to have the luxury to work from home,
Speaker 4: maybe it's washing dishes or folding laundry. If you're in
Speaker 4: the office, maybe it's going to take a walk, could
Speaker 4: be talking to a colleague for a minute or two.
Speaker 4: It could mean taking a trip to the bathroom just
Speaker 4: to have a change of scenery for a minute. But
Speaker 4: whatever it is, having that break is absolutely essential so
Speaker 4: that you don't send yourself into a mental decline over
Speaker 4: a frustration.
Speaker 3: I love exactly this tip because I literally just did
Speaker 3: this just before we're having this conversation, not in a
Speaker 3: studio together, but over Zoom, as many of my podcast
Speaker 3: interviews are, and I was on Zoom a bunch today
Speaker 3: and I just took time to just go do some laundry.
Speaker 3: Not necessarily because there was like an urgent laundry need,
Speaker 3: but just because like I needed something physical to do.
Speaker 1: I needed something that was like away from the screens.
Speaker 1: And I think it did help right just to kind
Speaker 1: of get that time away.
Speaker 3: But the laundry the idea sort of fits with your
Speaker 3: tip number nine of how to kind of get digital
Speaker 3: balance at work, especially when we're working remotely, which is
Speaker 3: to think really critically about the spaces that we're working
Speaker 3: from and how we can set up some separations between
Speaker 3: the digital world and the in real life world. You've
Speaker 3: talked about this idea of an invisible fence. What is
Speaker 3: that and how can it impact our home office?
Speaker 4: So an invisible fence is literally just a digital boundary
Speaker 4: that you set for yourself. But a lot of times
Speaker 4: what happens is that when we set a boundary, say okay,
Speaker 4: I don't want to have phones at the dinner table.
Speaker 4: If you don't ever tell anybody that is your invisible fence,
Speaker 4: they will literally cross over it all the time. But
Speaker 4: there are ways that we can set up boundaries for
Speaker 4: ourselves and communicate them or post them that help others
Speaker 4: to help us to keep those boundaries together. The idea
Speaker 4: of the invisible fence initially came from trying to train
Speaker 4: my dog to stay in my yard in Virginia, so
Speaker 4: the first house I'd ever lived in where there were
Speaker 4: no fences, and I discovered that it wasn't just that
Speaker 4: all Virginia were so well behaved, all the houses had
Speaker 4: invisible fences. And what was even more amazing is that
Speaker 4: when we got consultation for our invisible fence for our dog,
Speaker 4: we learned that eighty percent of the fences are not
Speaker 4: turned on, that the dogs learn the boundaries and once
Speaker 4: they learn them, they don't cross over them again. And
Speaker 4: so it really is about a training process. And while
Speaker 4: we're not dogs, I do think there's certain ways that
Speaker 4: we as humans can train ourselves, but it starts with
Speaker 4: a recognizing this is a boundary I want to have,
Speaker 4: and then be working with people around us to respect
Speaker 4: those boundaries so that they're not unconsciously tripping over them
Speaker 4: and the pandemic. For me, this was a moment where
Speaker 4: I had to put a sign on my office door
Speaker 4: for my children that said I am in a podcast,
Speaker 4: or I am.
Speaker 2: Recording, or I am doing deep work right now.
Speaker 4: And beyond that, it wasn't just about posting the note.
Speaker 2: It was about telling them.
Speaker 4: When I was going to be available again, because they
Speaker 4: didn't actually want to know what my schedule was. They
Speaker 4: just wanted to know when they could have my attention.
Speaker 4: And a lot of times that happens with colleagues with emails.
Speaker 4: They don't necessarily need your response right now, They just
Speaker 4: want to know when they're going to get your response.
Speaker 4: And so when you put a footer in your email
Speaker 4: that says I do not respond to messages on the weekend,
Speaker 4: but I look forward to getting back to you on Monday,
Speaker 4: it gives them a sense of calm that they know
Speaker 4: where they're going to hear from you, and it gives
Speaker 4: you that digital space to be able to flourish yourself.
Speaker 3: And so any other good examples of kind of invisible
Speaker 3: fences that you've set up in your home to kind
Speaker 3: of protect your remote work or maybe to protect your
Speaker 3: home life from.
Speaker 1: The remote work seeping into your home life.
Speaker 4: Yes, I mean one of the most familiar invisible fences
Speaker 4: that many people use is some sort of filter. If
Speaker 4: you're a parent, it's a filter for your children on
Speaker 4: what they can see on the internet.
Speaker 2: We can have them as adults as well. We can
Speaker 2: also have them.
Speaker 4: I know my husband is a gamer, and so he
Speaker 4: will put screen limits for himself so that when he's
Speaker 4: been on the screen for too long, it'll have a
Speaker 4: message say, hey, it's time for a break. That's an
Speaker 4: invisible fence he set up for himself. I think for
Speaker 4: my children, one of the invisible fences that I'm trying
Speaker 4: to create is a mantra in their head. It's literally like,
Speaker 4: I want to be more mindful, I want to be
Speaker 4: more digitally.
Speaker 2: Well, this is a good thing.
Speaker 4: So we can even use our own mental game as
Speaker 4: an invisible fence to help us to stay on task.
Speaker 3: And so that's some ways we can set better boundaries
Speaker 3: using these invisible fences. But now we're going to get
Speaker 3: to the tenth and final tip that I think is
Speaker 3: specifically about digital balance at work, which is how we
Speaker 3: can get some in real life social connection at work,
Speaker 3: even given the fact that we might be working remotely.
Speaker 3: I know that there's so many studies that have shown
Speaker 3: that belonging at work and having friends at work is
Speaker 3: so important for our happiness at work, but that can
Speaker 3: be so tricky when we're engaged in remote work, and
Speaker 3: so any specific tips for how we can kind of
Speaker 3: be better about connecting socially even if we're connecting on
Speaker 3: Zoom or Slack and the like.
Speaker 4: So I actually watched Mark McConnell, who is a senior
Speaker 4: wellness specialist at ATV Financial, literally give up masterclass on
Speaker 4: how to do this. My jaw was just dropped as
Speaker 4: I watched him lead a session and it was a
Speaker 4: forty five minute webinar, and he packed so much social
Speaker 4: connection into this forty five minutes. He started off with
Speaker 4: three minutes of chat and get to know you, Then
Speaker 4: he led one minute meditation where he brought people together,
Speaker 4: one minute of reflection, got right into the task, and
Speaker 4: all through the webinar.
Speaker 2: There was opportunity for.
Speaker 4: Both chat where he would call out people's names in
Speaker 4: the chat so that he could have some back and
Speaker 4: forth with colleagues, and there's some banter, and there's some
Speaker 4: official work, and then of course the emoticons and emojis
Speaker 4: when we're virtually connecting, and then at the end wrapping
Speaker 4: up by talking about gratitudes. So what he was essentially
Speaker 4: doing is weaving together some of the best practices that
Speaker 4: we've seen in terms of recognition of gratitude and meditation.
Speaker 4: But he was so focused and timely about it and personable.
Speaker 4: And what I like about that, and when I think
Speaker 4: we can pull from it, even if you're not at
Speaker 4: ATB is to recreate a little bit of that in
Speaker 4: our sessions. I think sometimes we think, oh, we got
Speaker 4: to get straight to work, or this is a business meeting,
Speaker 4: so we need to jump right into the tasks and
Speaker 4: be very official. And I've seen a massive shift in
Speaker 4: what's happened in the workplace since the pandemic. Less and
Speaker 4: less are we focus so much on task and more
Speaker 4: about this cross between personal and work at the same time,
Speaker 4: and more interest in one another's lives. So I want
Speaker 4: to encourage individuals. If you haven't been doing that, it's okay.
Speaker 4: It's okay to ask how your colleagues are doing. It's
Speaker 4: okay to take a minute to play around as long
Speaker 4: as you work hard and play hard. And it's also
Speaker 4: a great opportunity to really tune in and ask questions
Speaker 4: about people's lives, to send them an encouraging message, to
Speaker 4: say thank you for something they've done. These are the
Speaker 4: little things that actually deeply matter. Whether you're in person
Speaker 4: or virtual, we can still find ways to connect together.
Speaker 1: Work hard, play hard.
Speaker 3: I really love Amy's message about Digital Wellness Day because
Speaker 3: she's not telling us to break up with our phones
Speaker 3: or delete all our apps. Yes, May Third's new holiday
Speaker 3: is all about finding balance. It's about embracing the digital good,
Speaker 3: but also noticing what we might be missing out.
Speaker 1: On in real life.
Speaker 3: Whatever you do on Digital Wellness Day, I hope these
Speaker 3: strategies will help you find a bit more balance, and
Speaker 3: I hope you'll join us again for the next episode
Speaker 3: of the Happiness Lab with me Doctor Laurie Santos