1 00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:25,116 Speaker 1: Pushkin ry. Hey Amy, how's it going good? 2 00:00:25,196 --> 00:00:26,156 Speaker 2: How are you guys doing? 3 00:00:26,596 --> 00:00:28,116 Speaker 3: If you told me when I was a kid that 4 00:00:28,116 --> 00:00:30,596 Speaker 3: I would one day be making free video calls to 5 00:00:30,676 --> 00:00:33,796 Speaker 3: friends and colleagues all over the planet, I'd probably have 6 00:00:33,876 --> 00:00:36,276 Speaker 3: said that you'd seen Star Wars one too many times. 7 00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,316 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for taking the time for this. 8 00:00:38,596 --> 00:00:40,796 Speaker 2: So happy to join you guys. This is exciting. 9 00:00:41,276 --> 00:00:44,076 Speaker 3: But today, in twenty twenty four, we use video calls 10 00:00:44,116 --> 00:00:46,676 Speaker 3: and so many other amazing technologies all the time. 11 00:00:47,116 --> 00:00:48,636 Speaker 1: We totally take them for granted. 12 00:00:48,996 --> 00:00:50,876 Speaker 2: How is the audio sounding? Are we good? 13 00:00:51,036 --> 00:00:51,436 Speaker 1: I think so? 14 00:00:51,916 --> 00:00:54,516 Speaker 3: I mean I can share my photos instantly with hundreds 15 00:00:54,516 --> 00:00:57,876 Speaker 3: of relatives. I can find any existing recipe or song 16 00:00:57,956 --> 00:01:01,116 Speaker 3: lyric and seconds and yes, I can now even watch. 17 00:01:00,876 --> 00:01:02,196 Speaker 1: Star Wars on my phone. 18 00:01:02,676 --> 00:01:03,756 Speaker 2: Sounds great, awesome? 19 00:01:03,916 --> 00:01:05,556 Speaker 1: Your recording is so you have headphones? 20 00:01:05,596 --> 00:01:05,956 Speaker 2: Thank you? 21 00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:07,876 Speaker 1: And are you able to record your side? 22 00:01:08,036 --> 00:01:11,756 Speaker 3: Modern technology is amazing, but it does have a downside. 23 00:01:12,236 --> 00:01:15,236 Speaker 3: Research shows that our screens and apps and devices are 24 00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:18,796 Speaker 3: making us less social, less present, and even less happy. 25 00:01:19,356 --> 00:01:22,116 Speaker 3: And that's why I'm jumping on zoom with Amy Blankson. 26 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:26,356 Speaker 4: I am the chief evangelist for the Digital Wellness Institute Masa, 27 00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:29,436 Speaker 4: the best selling author of the Future of Happiness and 28 00:01:29,636 --> 00:01:30,876 Speaker 4: I Am thrilled to be here. 29 00:01:31,076 --> 00:01:33,556 Speaker 3: Amy is at the forefront of a new holiday known 30 00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:37,236 Speaker 3: as Digital Wellness Day, which falls on May third. In 31 00:01:37,276 --> 00:01:39,876 Speaker 3: honor of Digital Wellness Day, I've asked Amy to share 32 00:01:39,916 --> 00:01:42,116 Speaker 3: her favorite ten tips that we can all use to 33 00:01:42,116 --> 00:01:45,236 Speaker 3: bring more balance to the way we use our devices well. 34 00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:46,356 Speaker 1: First off, what is. 35 00:01:46,316 --> 00:01:47,316 Speaker 2: Digital Wellness Day? 36 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:47,796 Speaker 3: So? 37 00:01:47,956 --> 00:01:51,916 Speaker 4: Digital Wellness Day is a global holiday where we literally 38 00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:55,716 Speaker 4: just pause to think about how we interact with our technology. 39 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,236 Speaker 2: When, where, why? 40 00:01:57,556 --> 00:01:57,876 Speaker 1: How? 41 00:01:58,116 --> 00:02:01,436 Speaker 4: We know that some individuals really need that quiet space 42 00:02:01,436 --> 00:02:03,996 Speaker 4: in the morning to be mindful. Others need to get 43 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:06,276 Speaker 4: through the slog of the day and then have time 44 00:02:06,316 --> 00:02:08,596 Speaker 4: at the end of the day to reflect on their habits. 45 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:11,156 Speaker 4: But wherever you're coming from, there's an opportunity to learn 46 00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:14,556 Speaker 4: more about the ways that we interact with our technology. 47 00:02:14,636 --> 00:02:17,396 Speaker 4: Because it has become such a dominant force in our lives. 48 00:02:17,916 --> 00:02:20,036 Speaker 3: Why is this something we need to get intentional about. 49 00:02:20,076 --> 00:02:22,596 Speaker 3: What's the problem with our digital technologies and why it's 50 00:02:22,596 --> 00:02:24,076 Speaker 3: negatively affecting our happiness? 51 00:02:24,516 --> 00:02:28,916 Speaker 4: So I would say that technology is not necessarily negatively 52 00:02:28,956 --> 00:02:32,196 Speaker 4: impacting our happiness. That was actually my assumption when I 53 00:02:32,196 --> 00:02:34,276 Speaker 4: started my book and as I got into the research, 54 00:02:34,596 --> 00:02:37,596 Speaker 4: that was actually not the case. The big differentiation here 55 00:02:37,676 --> 00:02:40,596 Speaker 4: is that it's the way that we're using our technology, 56 00:02:40,796 --> 00:02:43,036 Speaker 4: and the truth is that when we're not mindful about 57 00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:46,076 Speaker 4: how we're interacting, we wind up falling prey to the 58 00:02:46,156 --> 00:02:49,276 Speaker 4: snowball effect, which is that the snowball starts at the 59 00:02:49,276 --> 00:02:52,316 Speaker 4: top of a mountain very slowly and gain steam and 60 00:02:52,436 --> 00:02:53,316 Speaker 4: by the end it's. 61 00:02:53,196 --> 00:02:55,556 Speaker 2: Going such a velocity that it's hard to keep up with. 62 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:59,196 Speaker 4: We know that with our digital technology that fifty percent 63 00:02:59,236 --> 00:03:01,996 Speaker 4: of the time we pick up our phone, nobody's actually 64 00:03:02,076 --> 00:03:05,596 Speaker 4: called or messaged us. We're picking it up because the 65 00:03:05,676 --> 00:03:09,676 Speaker 4: need to be needed is actually highly addictive. And follow 66 00:03:09,716 --> 00:03:12,036 Speaker 4: that up by the fact that the second time you 67 00:03:12,076 --> 00:03:14,676 Speaker 4: reach for your phone, fifty percent of the time, it's 68 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:17,036 Speaker 4: within two minutes of picking it up the first time. 69 00:03:17,316 --> 00:03:19,836 Speaker 4: So as the day rolls on, we are literally reaching 70 00:03:19,836 --> 00:03:23,196 Speaker 4: for our devices constantly, and the downside of that is 71 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,436 Speaker 4: that we're a little bit less connected with other people 72 00:03:25,476 --> 00:03:28,956 Speaker 4: in our lives. We're less productive, we're making more errors, 73 00:03:29,036 --> 00:03:31,676 Speaker 4: we're feeling less happy about the way that we interact 74 00:03:31,676 --> 00:03:33,596 Speaker 4: with the world around us, and how tuned in we 75 00:03:33,636 --> 00:03:36,716 Speaker 4: are to ourselves and other people as well, and so 76 00:03:36,756 --> 00:03:39,116 Speaker 4: we know that has ripple effects and to burn out 77 00:03:39,156 --> 00:03:42,676 Speaker 4: mental health issues as well as physical problems like our backs, 78 00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:46,956 Speaker 4: our eyes, our necks. And so without really contemplating the 79 00:03:46,996 --> 00:03:49,996 Speaker 4: importance of this topic, I think it's hard to make 80 00:03:50,036 --> 00:03:52,476 Speaker 4: a difference in it change until you can actually see it. 81 00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:56,476 Speaker 3: And so this year, the particular theme of Digital Wellness 82 00:03:56,556 --> 00:04:00,036 Speaker 3: Day is digital balance. What is digital balance and why 83 00:04:00,076 --> 00:04:01,356 Speaker 3: is it so important to achieve? 84 00:04:02,036 --> 00:04:04,836 Speaker 4: So digital balance is really finding that sweet spot we 85 00:04:04,876 --> 00:04:08,116 Speaker 4: call it a spot of digital flourishing where it's not 86 00:04:08,196 --> 00:04:10,596 Speaker 4: that you are a dicted to technology and it's not 87 00:04:10,676 --> 00:04:12,796 Speaker 4: that you're swearing it off either. It's really that you're 88 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:16,196 Speaker 4: finding that happy medium where technology is working for you, 89 00:04:16,676 --> 00:04:19,356 Speaker 4: not the other way around. And so the idea of 90 00:04:19,396 --> 00:04:22,276 Speaker 4: digital balance is that each one of us has the 91 00:04:22,316 --> 00:04:25,036 Speaker 4: capacity to find a better sense of balance, no matter 92 00:04:25,076 --> 00:04:27,596 Speaker 4: where your baseline is today, we all can do a 93 00:04:27,596 --> 00:04:31,556 Speaker 4: better job of being more thoughtful and really getting control 94 00:04:31,636 --> 00:04:33,476 Speaker 4: of the way that we're interacting with our technology. 95 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:36,116 Speaker 3: And so today we're going to walk through some of 96 00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:39,716 Speaker 3: your top ten tips for achieving digital balance in the 97 00:04:39,756 --> 00:04:42,476 Speaker 3: complicated spot we find ourselves in in twenty twenty four 98 00:04:42,556 --> 00:04:44,596 Speaker 3: right now. And one of the tips that you talk 99 00:04:44,636 --> 00:04:46,516 Speaker 3: about a lot, which I think is really relevant for 100 00:04:46,556 --> 00:04:49,676 Speaker 3: finding digital balance in our home lives, is finding ways 101 00:04:49,676 --> 00:04:53,076 Speaker 3: that we could become more intentional with our technology. Why 102 00:04:53,116 --> 00:04:54,916 Speaker 3: is kind of our intent so important there? 103 00:04:55,236 --> 00:04:59,036 Speaker 4: So our intent is important because when you set your intention, 104 00:04:59,236 --> 00:05:02,676 Speaker 4: you are forty percent more likely to follow through on actions. 105 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:06,596 Speaker 4: So intent, for me actually starts with data. It starts 106 00:05:06,636 --> 00:05:09,396 Speaker 4: with being able to get a real gauge of what 107 00:05:09,436 --> 00:05:12,276 Speaker 4: are your behaviors today, and then you can set an 108 00:05:12,316 --> 00:05:15,756 Speaker 4: intention so that moving forward you have an idea of 109 00:05:15,836 --> 00:05:17,716 Speaker 4: exactly what you'd like to see. 110 00:05:17,676 --> 00:05:18,596 Speaker 2: Change in your life. 111 00:05:18,636 --> 00:05:20,476 Speaker 4: I'm a bit of a data geek, so maybe that 112 00:05:20,516 --> 00:05:23,236 Speaker 4: doesn't work for everyone, but I do find that that 113 00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:26,356 Speaker 4: moment where I have people in an audience pull out 114 00:05:26,396 --> 00:05:29,116 Speaker 4: their phone and look at their screen time is always 115 00:05:29,116 --> 00:05:31,996 Speaker 4: an AHA moment, even if you've done it before. I 116 00:05:31,996 --> 00:05:34,436 Speaker 4: think these numbers sneak up on us, and when we 117 00:05:34,476 --> 00:05:36,636 Speaker 4: bring our awareness back to the numbers, then we can 118 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:37,996 Speaker 4: set an intention to go forward. 119 00:05:38,436 --> 00:05:40,156 Speaker 3: And so one of the ways we can get intentional 120 00:05:40,196 --> 00:05:42,076 Speaker 3: is to really learn about those numbers. Do you have 121 00:05:42,116 --> 00:05:44,796 Speaker 3: particular techniques that you suggest to the people you work 122 00:05:44,836 --> 00:05:46,076 Speaker 3: with for how to do that better. 123 00:05:46,516 --> 00:05:50,116 Speaker 4: I do so when I have people go look into 124 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,916 Speaker 4: their phones before they ever touch their phone, I want 125 00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:55,356 Speaker 4: them to think in their minds about how much time 126 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,876 Speaker 4: they think they're spending online and what are the top 127 00:05:57,956 --> 00:06:01,036 Speaker 4: three apps they think they're using. And I want them 128 00:06:01,076 --> 00:06:03,356 Speaker 4: to think about what are their top three values in 129 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:07,076 Speaker 4: their life? Is it success? Is it fame? Is it fortune? 130 00:06:07,156 --> 00:06:09,476 Speaker 4: Is it family? Is it friends? Is it faith? Whatever 131 00:06:09,516 --> 00:06:12,356 Speaker 4: it is for you, those things should be the anchoring 132 00:06:12,396 --> 00:06:15,316 Speaker 4: things that determine how you use your time. Then I 133 00:06:15,356 --> 00:06:18,356 Speaker 4: have people guesstimate how long they're think that they're spending 134 00:06:18,396 --> 00:06:20,716 Speaker 4: on those three apps, and then we go look and 135 00:06:20,716 --> 00:06:23,596 Speaker 4: we get the real gut check in that moment of 136 00:06:23,636 --> 00:06:26,796 Speaker 4: how accurate were you? And I would say about ten 137 00:06:26,956 --> 00:06:29,916 Speaker 4: percent of the time people are accurate and ninety percent 138 00:06:29,916 --> 00:06:31,916 Speaker 4: of the time you hear a few guesps in the 139 00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:35,276 Speaker 4: audience as they realize, oh my gosh, I had no idea, 140 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:38,076 Speaker 4: could this even be possible? And it's that moment, it's 141 00:06:38,156 --> 00:06:40,996 Speaker 4: that light bulb moment that suddenly people are inspired to 142 00:06:41,036 --> 00:06:43,676 Speaker 4: create change. And you know this as well, Doctor Santos, 143 00:06:43,716 --> 00:06:46,636 Speaker 4: that with all of the behavioral of modifications that we 144 00:06:46,716 --> 00:06:50,756 Speaker 4: are trying to create through positive psychology. That awareness is 145 00:06:50,756 --> 00:06:54,396 Speaker 4: that first step, and then comes the recognition that you 146 00:06:54,436 --> 00:06:56,076 Speaker 4: need to do something on the back end. 147 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,516 Speaker 3: And one of the things you suggests that people do 148 00:06:58,796 --> 00:07:00,556 Speaker 3: is it kind of little hack that I really like, 149 00:07:00,956 --> 00:07:02,836 Speaker 3: which is you call it a really rule? 150 00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,556 Speaker 1: What's the really rule? And how can that make us 151 00:07:05,556 --> 00:07:06,316 Speaker 1: more intentional? 152 00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:10,916 Speaker 4: The really rule comes from my brother when he was 153 00:07:11,036 --> 00:07:15,036 Speaker 4: helping me downsize my house and we were about to move, 154 00:07:15,236 --> 00:07:17,756 Speaker 4: and as he walked around the house with me, he 155 00:07:17,836 --> 00:07:20,236 Speaker 4: literally was following me around, going, Amy, do. 156 00:07:20,196 --> 00:07:21,676 Speaker 2: You really need this? Come on? 157 00:07:21,996 --> 00:07:24,476 Speaker 4: Like we had our sorting piles, and we had our 158 00:07:24,716 --> 00:07:28,436 Speaker 4: giving away piles and selling piles and literally everything he 159 00:07:28,436 --> 00:07:31,356 Speaker 4: would say really, but his voice got. 160 00:07:31,196 --> 00:07:33,876 Speaker 2: In my head. And so now when I'm thinking about my. 161 00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:37,396 Speaker 4: Digital habits, I use what's called the really rule. Thank 162 00:07:37,436 --> 00:07:40,756 Speaker 4: you Shanni Koor for that, which is that moment where 163 00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:44,276 Speaker 4: you can think about how necessary it is to pick 164 00:07:44,356 --> 00:07:47,236 Speaker 4: up your phone to use that app, to play that game, 165 00:07:47,476 --> 00:07:50,356 Speaker 4: to read that extra book when you have other things 166 00:07:50,356 --> 00:07:52,276 Speaker 4: you might need to be doing. Because we all have 167 00:07:52,516 --> 00:07:55,036 Speaker 4: some distractions that are good for us, right that are 168 00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:58,636 Speaker 4: actually helpful. One cat video can be fantastic for boosting 169 00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:01,036 Speaker 4: your mood. Twenty cat videos is when you start to 170 00:08:01,036 --> 00:08:03,316 Speaker 4: have an issue, right, and so there's that point of 171 00:08:03,476 --> 00:08:04,956 Speaker 4: maximum utility and then a. 172 00:08:04,916 --> 00:08:06,076 Speaker 2: Steep drop off point. 173 00:08:06,356 --> 00:08:08,276 Speaker 4: We want to be able to be so mindful and 174 00:08:08,316 --> 00:08:11,956 Speaker 4: aware thoughtful that we can say, really, do I really 175 00:08:12,036 --> 00:08:14,756 Speaker 4: need to watch another cat video? Or is this enough 176 00:08:14,756 --> 00:08:17,276 Speaker 4: for today? And that gut check is very helpful. 177 00:08:17,756 --> 00:08:19,836 Speaker 3: I love this rule because it can really allow you 178 00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:22,796 Speaker 3: to say no, no right now. Actually that engagement with 179 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,876 Speaker 3: my technology feels fun. Like I've been in this period 180 00:08:25,876 --> 00:08:27,876 Speaker 3: where I've been traveling a lot, so I find myself 181 00:08:28,076 --> 00:08:31,116 Speaker 3: spending a lot more time than usual in like airport 182 00:08:31,156 --> 00:08:34,236 Speaker 3: waiting lounges and just kind of sitting around. And sometimes 183 00:08:34,276 --> 00:08:35,956 Speaker 3: when I use the really rule, it's like, you know, 184 00:08:35,956 --> 00:08:37,916 Speaker 3: should I really be checking my email or looking at 185 00:08:37,996 --> 00:08:40,116 Speaker 3: you know, goofy things on Reddit? And it's like, I've 186 00:08:40,116 --> 00:08:41,956 Speaker 3: got four minutes to get on this plane. I'm just 187 00:08:42,036 --> 00:08:44,676 Speaker 3: killing time. Yeah, this makes sense. But then sometimes I 188 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:47,716 Speaker 3: realize like, oh, actually, is there something else I could 189 00:08:47,756 --> 00:08:48,116 Speaker 3: be doing? 190 00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:49,796 Speaker 1: Is this really the best use of my time? 191 00:08:49,876 --> 00:08:51,916 Speaker 3: And then I'll think back to all the research on 192 00:08:51,956 --> 00:08:53,596 Speaker 3: social connection and say, oh, maybe I should talk to 193 00:08:53,596 --> 00:08:55,756 Speaker 3: the person sitting next to me, or maybe I should 194 00:08:55,756 --> 00:08:56,716 Speaker 3: you know, text a friend. 195 00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:58,996 Speaker 1: And so it was a really useful rule when I 196 00:08:59,076 --> 00:08:59,996 Speaker 1: heard you talk about. 197 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,196 Speaker 3: It, because it was like, it's just like kind of 198 00:09:01,476 --> 00:09:03,276 Speaker 3: a gut check or like a reminder of like is 199 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,196 Speaker 3: this is this the best use of my time right now? 200 00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:05,556 Speaker 1: Really? 201 00:09:05,596 --> 00:09:07,676 Speaker 3: And it was really powerful for me. No, no, no 202 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:12,076 Speaker 3: pun intended. I guess another great tip you give is 203 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:15,356 Speaker 3: the power of finding a stopping queue. What do you 204 00:09:15,356 --> 00:09:17,356 Speaker 3: mean by a stopping queue? And how can we build 205 00:09:17,396 --> 00:09:20,236 Speaker 3: more of those into our kind of digital activities online? 206 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:24,196 Speaker 4: So stopping cues are those moments where you have something 207 00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:28,276 Speaker 4: that helps queue you visually or even an auditory signal 208 00:09:28,396 --> 00:09:31,716 Speaker 4: that says this is a moment that maybe is a 209 00:09:31,756 --> 00:09:34,196 Speaker 4: time to step back or pause. For some people who 210 00:09:34,196 --> 00:09:38,036 Speaker 4: are familiar with the Pomodoro technique. There's some fantastic apps 211 00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,836 Speaker 4: online and yes I'm talking about using fire to fight 212 00:09:40,876 --> 00:09:43,156 Speaker 4: fire here, but I like to use one called the 213 00:09:43,196 --> 00:09:46,316 Speaker 4: Insight timer, and it is literally a timer that counts 214 00:09:46,356 --> 00:09:48,956 Speaker 4: down and then it dings at the end. So what 215 00:09:48,996 --> 00:09:51,316 Speaker 4: that's doing is number one is giving me a visual 216 00:09:51,396 --> 00:09:54,356 Speaker 4: cue Amy, it's time to focus, and it's only going 217 00:09:54,396 --> 00:09:57,516 Speaker 4: to be twenty minutes. And then the sound cueue reminds 218 00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,556 Speaker 4: me to come back out of that and say, Okay, 219 00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:00,116 Speaker 4: you've been. 220 00:09:59,996 --> 00:10:02,356 Speaker 2: Working for a good, deep chunk of time. 221 00:10:02,556 --> 00:10:04,676 Speaker 4: Now it's time to take a moment to stand up 222 00:10:05,036 --> 00:10:07,236 Speaker 4: and take a breather. And as long as the science 223 00:10:07,236 --> 00:10:10,396 Speaker 4: of distraction has been emerging since the early seventies, this 224 00:10:10,436 --> 00:10:14,556 Speaker 4: has been a very helpful strategy to help to signal 225 00:10:14,596 --> 00:10:17,876 Speaker 4: our brains this is deep work, this is a little 226 00:10:17,876 --> 00:10:19,916 Speaker 4: bit lighter work. And when you can bounce back and 227 00:10:19,956 --> 00:10:22,316 Speaker 4: forth between the two of them, you actually boost your 228 00:10:22,316 --> 00:10:26,316 Speaker 4: productivity by giving your brain many breaks and deeper focus breaks. 229 00:10:26,556 --> 00:10:29,036 Speaker 3: But I found the stopping cues even more relevant for like, 230 00:10:29,356 --> 00:10:31,516 Speaker 3: I'm just scrolling through Reddit, and my brain, I'm just 231 00:10:31,516 --> 00:10:33,356 Speaker 3: going to do that for like two seconds. I'm just 232 00:10:33,396 --> 00:10:36,036 Speaker 3: going to go through a couple TikTok videos, But without 233 00:10:36,076 --> 00:10:38,796 Speaker 3: the stopping cue, I could be there for much more 234 00:10:38,796 --> 00:10:41,636 Speaker 3: time than, you know, a couple minutes, sadly, embarrassingly, So, 235 00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:44,716 Speaker 3: how can we use these stopping queues kind of for 236 00:10:45,116 --> 00:10:46,756 Speaker 3: leisure that we might want to get a little kind 237 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:49,116 Speaker 3: of digital distraction in, but not to get stuck there. 238 00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:51,516 Speaker 4: So and this is such a great call out there 239 00:10:51,596 --> 00:10:54,756 Speaker 4: as well, because the way that our technology is designed 240 00:10:54,836 --> 00:10:58,196 Speaker 4: is actually based on certain techniques that are designed to 241 00:10:58,316 --> 00:11:01,716 Speaker 4: keep our brains interacting and highly attuned to the content. 242 00:11:01,916 --> 00:11:04,716 Speaker 4: And so what the stopping technique does in that sense 243 00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:07,436 Speaker 4: is it takes what's been designed in an app as 244 00:11:07,516 --> 00:11:10,436 Speaker 4: what's called the bottomless bowl, meaning that if you scroll 245 00:11:10,476 --> 00:11:13,076 Speaker 4: on TikTok, you will scroll and scroll and scroll, and 246 00:11:13,116 --> 00:11:14,836 Speaker 4: you will never reach the bottom. 247 00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:16,876 Speaker 2: And so there is no signal to you saying it's 248 00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:17,516 Speaker 2: time to stop. 249 00:11:17,916 --> 00:11:21,716 Speaker 4: More apps that are being focused on human centered design 250 00:11:21,836 --> 00:11:26,396 Speaker 4: are starting to create a limit the number of videos 251 00:11:26,396 --> 00:11:29,076 Speaker 4: that they post at a given time because it's a 252 00:11:29,076 --> 00:11:32,356 Speaker 4: healthier way to consume content. So if you look on Pinterest, 253 00:11:32,436 --> 00:11:34,916 Speaker 4: or if you look on some of the news media apps, 254 00:11:34,956 --> 00:11:38,476 Speaker 4: you'll scroll down maybe for a couple minutes, and then 255 00:11:38,516 --> 00:11:41,196 Speaker 4: it will stop. It's not that the content stops, it's 256 00:11:41,316 --> 00:11:44,356 Speaker 4: just design feature that helps you to know, okay, time 257 00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:46,956 Speaker 4: to stop. When you don't have that in an app. 258 00:11:47,076 --> 00:11:49,276 Speaker 4: Those are the apps that are the most dangerous for us, 259 00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:51,196 Speaker 4: the ones that suck us in the most, and the 260 00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:54,316 Speaker 4: ones that require us as individuals to be stronger and 261 00:11:54,356 --> 00:11:58,116 Speaker 4: more intentional about setting boundaries for ourselves so that we 262 00:11:58,156 --> 00:11:58,916 Speaker 4: don't get sucked in. 263 00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:00,636 Speaker 3: And so these are some ways that we can be 264 00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:03,236 Speaker 3: a little bit more intentional about our technology use. But 265 00:12:03,436 --> 00:12:04,916 Speaker 3: the next tip that you give us is that we 266 00:12:04,956 --> 00:12:08,116 Speaker 3: also have to manage our technological distraction. You know, how 267 00:12:08,196 --> 00:12:11,356 Speaker 3: does technologies steal our attention away? And how are even 268 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,076 Speaker 3: simple things like the technology we have around us messing 269 00:12:14,156 --> 00:12:15,356 Speaker 3: with what we get to think about. 270 00:12:15,756 --> 00:12:18,716 Speaker 4: So if you want to experience this firsthand, one of 271 00:12:18,756 --> 00:12:22,236 Speaker 4: the most interesting ways to see exactly how technology is 272 00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:26,156 Speaker 4: arresting our attention is by switching your phone into grayscale mode. 273 00:12:26,396 --> 00:12:27,796 Speaker 4: So if you don't know how to do this, just 274 00:12:27,836 --> 00:12:30,516 Speaker 4: google how do I turn my phone into grayscale. It's 275 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:33,996 Speaker 4: a very simple three or four step process. But essentially 276 00:12:34,076 --> 00:12:36,236 Speaker 4: what it does is it takes all of the color 277 00:12:36,276 --> 00:12:38,996 Speaker 4: off of your screen, all the flashing lights, and sometimes 278 00:12:38,996 --> 00:12:40,556 Speaker 4: you can even turn off all the sounds. 279 00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:44,196 Speaker 2: You get this very blank canvas. And I've had people. 280 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:46,396 Speaker 4: Who've been able to do the gray scale for maybe 281 00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:48,596 Speaker 4: a day, two days, three days, and then it will 282 00:12:48,676 --> 00:12:50,836 Speaker 4: drive you nuts because it's so boring. 283 00:12:51,156 --> 00:12:52,636 Speaker 2: You don't want to look at it anymore. 284 00:12:52,716 --> 00:12:55,476 Speaker 4: So that just shows you just how much the interplay 285 00:12:55,556 --> 00:13:00,436 Speaker 4: of color, light, sound flashing does to stimulate our visual 286 00:13:00,476 --> 00:13:03,836 Speaker 4: cortex and how effective it is at keeping our attention 287 00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:06,036 Speaker 4: focused on whatever is put in front of us. And 288 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,956 Speaker 4: that's why pop ups are so effective, is because they 289 00:13:09,196 --> 00:13:12,036 Speaker 4: literally come into your space and they take your attention 290 00:13:12,156 --> 00:13:14,956 Speaker 4: away from what you were doing before, and so this 291 00:13:14,996 --> 00:13:18,076 Speaker 4: is not by accident. Tristan Harris, who's the former Google 292 00:13:18,116 --> 00:13:21,916 Speaker 4: design ethicist, will often talk about how our phones were 293 00:13:22,196 --> 00:13:25,436 Speaker 4: designed like slot machines and that they were designed to 294 00:13:25,516 --> 00:13:29,316 Speaker 4: hijack our attention. And I love that message, but I 295 00:13:29,356 --> 00:13:31,916 Speaker 4: also want to call out that I think we as 296 00:13:31,996 --> 00:13:36,476 Speaker 4: human beings are stronger than these companies are designing for. 297 00:13:36,676 --> 00:13:39,636 Speaker 4: I think that we have the power to control our minds. 298 00:13:39,756 --> 00:13:41,556 Speaker 4: We just have to set our attention that this is 299 00:13:41,596 --> 00:13:43,396 Speaker 4: something that we care about, that we want to do, 300 00:13:43,636 --> 00:13:45,996 Speaker 4: and that we're going to get better at because our 301 00:13:45,996 --> 00:13:48,636 Speaker 4: attention is so important and so vital to our life. 302 00:13:48,956 --> 00:13:51,356 Speaker 3: So it's simple. Just use a bit of willpower and 303 00:13:51,396 --> 00:13:52,876 Speaker 3: you can resist the urge to pick. 304 00:13:52,796 --> 00:13:56,076 Speaker 1: Up your phone so often. Well as you might have guessed, 305 00:13:56,196 --> 00:13:57,556 Speaker 1: it's not really that easy. 306 00:13:58,076 --> 00:14:01,036 Speaker 3: You'll hear why when the happiness lad returns in a moment. 307 00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:10,996 Speaker 3: Author in digital wellness evangelist Amy Blankson already shared some 308 00:14:11,076 --> 00:14:13,716 Speaker 3: quick strategies we can use to prevent our screens from 309 00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:17,156 Speaker 3: taking over our limited attention, simple things like switching our 310 00:14:17,196 --> 00:14:20,596 Speaker 3: phones to grayscale or asking the question do I really 311 00:14:20,636 --> 00:14:23,156 Speaker 3: need to be checking this AUP right now? But she 312 00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:25,796 Speaker 3: also thinks we need to think a bit more radically. 313 00:14:26,236 --> 00:14:29,156 Speaker 4: So there was a study called the Mirror Present Study 314 00:14:29,196 --> 00:14:32,276 Speaker 4: that found that the simply having your phone in your 315 00:14:32,276 --> 00:14:36,836 Speaker 4: line of sight decreases your attention, your focus, your connection 316 00:14:37,156 --> 00:14:39,516 Speaker 4: to the person or the task at hand, and that 317 00:14:39,596 --> 00:14:43,356 Speaker 4: by simply hiding your phone you can actually reclaim ten 318 00:14:43,396 --> 00:14:46,196 Speaker 4: percent of your brain power. So what this means to 319 00:14:46,196 --> 00:14:48,996 Speaker 4: me is that literally, when I'm working, I'll tuck my 320 00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:52,396 Speaker 4: phone behind my laptop or desktop screen, or I'll put 321 00:14:52,436 --> 00:14:54,356 Speaker 4: it in my back pocket, or I'll put it in 322 00:14:54,396 --> 00:14:56,476 Speaker 4: a bag. So it's not that it's not there. I'm 323 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:59,276 Speaker 4: not walking away from it because sometimes people are uncomfortable 324 00:14:59,276 --> 00:15:01,356 Speaker 4: with that. All I'm doing is getting out of my 325 00:15:01,396 --> 00:15:03,676 Speaker 4: line of site. And the reason why this works is 326 00:15:03,716 --> 00:15:06,236 Speaker 4: because of that factor that the need to be needed 327 00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:09,356 Speaker 4: is so strong that our eyes are actually flickering back 328 00:15:09,396 --> 00:15:11,996 Speaker 4: and forth between our screen and our task or the 329 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:12,716 Speaker 4: person we're. 330 00:15:12,596 --> 00:15:14,276 Speaker 2: With because we might be needed. 331 00:15:14,596 --> 00:15:18,316 Speaker 4: And that leads to another factor that I am on 332 00:15:18,396 --> 00:15:22,156 Speaker 4: a soapbox lately about the importance of not fubbing our 333 00:15:22,196 --> 00:15:24,756 Speaker 4: friends and fubbing. For those of you who've never heard 334 00:15:24,756 --> 00:15:27,876 Speaker 4: of this term, I apologize in advance for introducing you 335 00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:31,236 Speaker 4: to it because you might hate me later. But fubbing 336 00:15:31,356 --> 00:15:34,036 Speaker 4: is phone snubbing, and it is that moment where you're 337 00:15:34,036 --> 00:15:36,836 Speaker 4: having an awesome conversation with someone when all of a 338 00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:39,076 Speaker 4: sudden they get a notification. 339 00:15:38,636 --> 00:15:39,316 Speaker 2: On their phone. 340 00:15:39,436 --> 00:15:42,516 Speaker 4: They look down, and it's not that notification that gets them, 341 00:15:42,556 --> 00:15:44,676 Speaker 4: it's the one that pops up after that that they're 342 00:15:44,716 --> 00:15:47,116 Speaker 4: suddenly lost. And then by the time they come back 343 00:15:47,116 --> 00:15:48,956 Speaker 4: to you, they say, oh, I'm so sorry about that. 344 00:15:49,196 --> 00:15:51,796 Speaker 2: What were we talking about again? That's fubbing. 345 00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:54,196 Speaker 4: You are now going to see it everywhere, and I 346 00:15:54,196 --> 00:15:56,516 Speaker 4: think that that is the kind of impact that we're 347 00:15:56,516 --> 00:16:00,076 Speaker 4: trying to eliminate when we're focusing on the mere presence 348 00:16:00,196 --> 00:16:02,036 Speaker 4: of a device on our line of site. By having 349 00:16:02,156 --> 00:16:04,916 Speaker 4: out of our line of site, there's nothing to go check, 350 00:16:04,956 --> 00:16:08,156 Speaker 4: there's nothing to interrupt us. And that's us taking control 351 00:16:08,276 --> 00:16:10,836 Speaker 4: of our physical space as well as our mental space 352 00:16:10,876 --> 00:16:11,356 Speaker 4: there as well. 353 00:16:11,716 --> 00:16:14,196 Speaker 3: So this is a nice transition to your third tip 354 00:16:14,236 --> 00:16:15,876 Speaker 3: that we need to engage with if we want to 355 00:16:15,876 --> 00:16:18,196 Speaker 3: find more digital balance, which is that we need to 356 00:16:18,236 --> 00:16:21,716 Speaker 3: be protecting our in real life social connections from digital 357 00:16:21,756 --> 00:16:25,396 Speaker 3: distraction and so many kind of digital challenges. You know, 358 00:16:25,476 --> 00:16:27,596 Speaker 3: I know that we've talked a lot on this podcast 359 00:16:27,596 --> 00:16:31,396 Speaker 3: about the importance of social relationships, but talk about how technology, 360 00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:34,476 Speaker 3: beyond just fubbing, can kind of mess with our kind 361 00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:36,716 Speaker 3: of social connection that we experience in real life. 362 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:40,276 Speaker 4: Well, we've certainly seen the rise of mental health concerns, 363 00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:42,796 Speaker 4: not just in the United States but across the globe, 364 00:16:42,796 --> 00:16:46,076 Speaker 4: and especially for our young people. And it's no accident 365 00:16:46,196 --> 00:16:48,356 Speaker 4: that this is a topic that comes back time and 366 00:16:48,396 --> 00:16:50,676 Speaker 4: time again to not just social. 367 00:16:50,396 --> 00:16:51,956 Speaker 2: Media, but also our devices. 368 00:16:52,076 --> 00:16:54,916 Speaker 4: We see it with gaming, we see it with getting 369 00:16:54,956 --> 00:16:57,916 Speaker 4: lost in work for some of our hyper responsible young people. 370 00:16:57,996 --> 00:17:00,476 Speaker 4: We see it and the ways that we interact with 371 00:17:00,516 --> 00:17:03,796 Speaker 4: one another and feel less connected because we're not making. 372 00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:04,756 Speaker 2: As much eye contact. 373 00:17:05,076 --> 00:17:07,916 Speaker 4: We know that the brain has what's called mirror neurons, 374 00:17:07,996 --> 00:17:11,636 Speaker 4: which means that there's an emotional contagion effect that happens 375 00:17:11,676 --> 00:17:12,836 Speaker 4: between individuals. 376 00:17:12,996 --> 00:17:13,956 Speaker 2: You see this all the time. 377 00:17:13,996 --> 00:17:17,436 Speaker 4: When one person yawns, the next person yawns, Well, imagine 378 00:17:17,476 --> 00:17:20,196 Speaker 4: if they can't see each other, you don't get that connection. 379 00:17:20,676 --> 00:17:23,316 Speaker 4: The same thing happens not just with yawning, but also 380 00:17:23,636 --> 00:17:27,116 Speaker 4: with positive mood effect as well as negative affect. So 381 00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:30,556 Speaker 4: if we're not seeing one another, we literally can't have 382 00:17:30,636 --> 00:17:34,076 Speaker 4: that hardwired connection that we've had for all of human 383 00:17:34,116 --> 00:17:35,196 Speaker 4: existence before now. 384 00:17:35,636 --> 00:17:36,836 Speaker 2: And so by getting the. 385 00:17:36,796 --> 00:17:40,716 Speaker 4: Devices out of our way, by reconnecting with our eyes, 386 00:17:40,756 --> 00:17:43,356 Speaker 4: with our bodies, with our attention, that's what really helps 387 00:17:43,436 --> 00:17:46,476 Speaker 4: us to form those bonds. And that's so important, as 388 00:17:46,476 --> 00:17:49,756 Speaker 4: we know, to social capital and bridging and bonding as well. 389 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:52,036 Speaker 3: Another one of those strategies you suggest for how we 390 00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:54,156 Speaker 3: can kind of get back to kind of engaging with 391 00:17:54,196 --> 00:17:56,916 Speaker 3: each other socially away from our technology is to find 392 00:17:56,956 --> 00:18:00,436 Speaker 3: some screen free activities. I love this because I feel 393 00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:03,956 Speaker 3: like so much of my social connection unfortunately involves screens. 394 00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:05,316 Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna hang out with my husband, but we're 395 00:18:05,316 --> 00:18:08,236 Speaker 3: going to watch a movie together, watch Netflix, or you know, 396 00:18:08,236 --> 00:18:10,476 Speaker 3: we're gonna kind of get together with friends, but we 397 00:18:10,516 --> 00:18:12,796 Speaker 3: all have our phones, right beside us, and whenever that 398 00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:15,796 Speaker 3: lull in the conversation comes, we pull them out. What 399 00:18:15,836 --> 00:18:19,116 Speaker 3: are some good ideas for non screen social activities that 400 00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:20,796 Speaker 3: we can engage in, and what are some rules that 401 00:18:20,796 --> 00:18:23,356 Speaker 3: we can put in place around our technology when we're 402 00:18:23,356 --> 00:18:24,876 Speaker 3: engaging in those new activities. 403 00:18:25,196 --> 00:18:28,676 Speaker 4: I like that question, and I think that it is 404 00:18:29,196 --> 00:18:33,876 Speaker 4: interesting because there are so many activities that exist that 405 00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:36,316 Speaker 4: we have done for years and years, but we're beginning 406 00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:38,556 Speaker 4: to kind of forget what the options are get. 407 00:18:38,636 --> 00:18:40,516 Speaker 3: I know, it's like so sad, right, Like it's like, well, 408 00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:42,436 Speaker 3: what can we do tonight? Like I guess we'll do 409 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,636 Speaker 3: something with the screen because we just like aren't creative 410 00:18:44,716 --> 00:18:46,196 Speaker 3: enough to come up with these other ideas. 411 00:18:46,236 --> 00:18:49,356 Speaker 4: Right is our creativity leaving us because of a lack 412 00:18:49,436 --> 00:18:51,836 Speaker 4: of use. It's like a muscle that we're forgetting. But 413 00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:55,036 Speaker 4: there's all sorts of activities from playing games outside playing 414 00:18:55,076 --> 00:18:58,516 Speaker 4: board games, from playing games, like for my children, they 415 00:18:58,556 --> 00:19:02,316 Speaker 4: still love Hide and go Seek, or there's art, there's music, 416 00:19:02,436 --> 00:19:05,796 Speaker 4: there's just sitting and being still and noticing the world 417 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:08,596 Speaker 4: around you, just trying new foods and cooking. I really 418 00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:11,596 Speaker 4: liked it encourage people when they're trying to think of 419 00:19:11,676 --> 00:19:14,396 Speaker 4: this list is to actually write it down somewhere so 420 00:19:14,476 --> 00:19:18,276 Speaker 4: that when you hit that moment of what should I do? Now, 421 00:19:18,476 --> 00:19:20,596 Speaker 4: you have a go to list of all the other 422 00:19:20,716 --> 00:19:23,356 Speaker 4: things that you also enjoy that you can pick something 423 00:19:23,356 --> 00:19:23,956 Speaker 4: off the list. 424 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,436 Speaker 2: And we see this some people. 425 00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:27,596 Speaker 4: Have like a little jar of popsicle so you randomly 426 00:19:27,636 --> 00:19:29,916 Speaker 4: pull out a popsicle stick that has an idea for 427 00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:32,676 Speaker 4: something to do. But what's essentially happening here is you're 428 00:19:32,676 --> 00:19:36,156 Speaker 4: creating a different opportunity. Cost right, you could do this, 429 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,436 Speaker 4: but you also get a lot of joy out of that. 430 00:19:38,556 --> 00:19:40,476 Speaker 4: So we're going to try to balance and as you 431 00:19:40,476 --> 00:19:42,716 Speaker 4: said earlier, it's not an either or, it's an and 432 00:19:42,956 --> 00:19:45,676 Speaker 4: it's an opportunity that you can have time to watch 433 00:19:45,716 --> 00:19:48,236 Speaker 4: a movie and really enjoy that, and we can do 434 00:19:48,316 --> 00:19:50,596 Speaker 4: some other things to balance out that time as well. 435 00:19:51,236 --> 00:19:52,636 Speaker 3: And so those are some ways that we can kind 436 00:19:52,636 --> 00:19:54,716 Speaker 3: of boost up our in real life social connection. But 437 00:19:54,756 --> 00:19:56,516 Speaker 3: there's a second in real life thing we need to 438 00:19:56,516 --> 00:19:58,956 Speaker 3: pay attention to it if we're trying to achieve digital balance, 439 00:19:58,996 --> 00:20:01,676 Speaker 3: which is like our bodies and how they're affected by 440 00:20:01,996 --> 00:20:04,676 Speaker 3: our digital world. And so I think this is something 441 00:20:04,676 --> 00:20:06,556 Speaker 3: we often forget when it comes to kind of thinking 442 00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:09,316 Speaker 3: about how our technology can make us happier. But tell 443 00:20:09,356 --> 00:20:11,436 Speaker 3: me a little bit about the challenges that our bodies 444 00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:14,676 Speaker 3: face as we become more digital natives and interact with 445 00:20:14,716 --> 00:20:15,836 Speaker 3: screens more often. 446 00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:19,836 Speaker 4: The physical challenge that we experience with being on screens 447 00:20:19,916 --> 00:20:24,156 Speaker 4: more is obviously the sedentary nature of sitting in front 448 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:27,196 Speaker 4: of a screen creates less activity in our bodies, which 449 00:20:27,276 --> 00:20:28,276 Speaker 4: makes it harder to. 450 00:20:28,236 --> 00:20:29,636 Speaker 2: Regulate our metabolism. 451 00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:32,876 Speaker 4: It changes our sleep habits, and it also makes us 452 00:20:32,916 --> 00:20:36,276 Speaker 4: even sometimes forget to eat or to mindlessly eat because 453 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:38,876 Speaker 4: you're so busy watching something. So we know the mind 454 00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:42,076 Speaker 4: body connection here is really strong, and it's something that 455 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,196 Speaker 4: we could be paying more attention to you. This is 456 00:20:44,236 --> 00:20:46,156 Speaker 4: another one of those moments, though, where I think that 457 00:20:46,196 --> 00:20:48,796 Speaker 4: we can fight fire with fire. We know fitbits have 458 00:20:48,876 --> 00:20:51,796 Speaker 4: been amazing or the Apple Watch has been incredible for 459 00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:56,196 Speaker 4: helping motivate individuals with data to change their behavior or 460 00:20:56,276 --> 00:20:59,196 Speaker 4: track their behaviors, been known to raise your mindfulness. So 461 00:20:59,436 --> 00:21:01,636 Speaker 4: I wouldn't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater, 462 00:21:01,756 --> 00:21:03,796 Speaker 4: but I do think that there is a balance. 463 00:21:03,956 --> 00:21:06,316 Speaker 2: We also hear a lot of individuals who. 464 00:21:06,436 --> 00:21:10,196 Speaker 4: Get lost in tracking data. They are so concerned about 465 00:21:10,196 --> 00:21:13,116 Speaker 4: their streaks, that they lose track of the fact that 466 00:21:13,156 --> 00:21:17,396 Speaker 4: the whole purpose was to do other things besides being online. 467 00:21:17,516 --> 00:21:19,796 Speaker 4: And so again we come back to this place of 468 00:21:19,956 --> 00:21:22,836 Speaker 4: let's make technology work for us, not us work for 469 00:21:22,876 --> 00:21:24,916 Speaker 4: our technology, and any other. 470 00:21:24,796 --> 00:21:27,116 Speaker 3: Tips for how we can use technology a bit more 471 00:21:27,196 --> 00:21:30,436 Speaker 3: ergonomically in ways that really support our posture and the 472 00:21:30,516 --> 00:21:32,196 Speaker 3: kinds of ways we want to hold our body. 473 00:21:32,516 --> 00:21:33,716 Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely so. 474 00:21:34,036 --> 00:21:36,596 Speaker 4: Having a screen that is at your line of sight 475 00:21:36,876 --> 00:21:39,076 Speaker 4: is so important for those of you out there who 476 00:21:39,116 --> 00:21:42,036 Speaker 4: have been spending a lot of time on a laptop. 477 00:21:42,196 --> 00:21:45,356 Speaker 4: Because the screens are smaller, we tend to hunch down 478 00:21:45,396 --> 00:21:48,156 Speaker 4: because the table height is not set out a line 479 00:21:48,156 --> 00:21:50,476 Speaker 4: of sight for a laptop, and so the idea might 480 00:21:50,516 --> 00:21:53,116 Speaker 4: be to either put your laptop higher on a stack 481 00:21:53,156 --> 00:21:55,876 Speaker 4: of books, or it might be to have a desk 482 00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:59,036 Speaker 4: that raises some lowers depending on where you're looking into 483 00:21:59,076 --> 00:22:01,516 Speaker 4: your camera. You would not believe they kind of impact 484 00:22:01,516 --> 00:22:04,876 Speaker 4: this makes on back pain, on neck pain and posture 485 00:22:04,916 --> 00:22:07,836 Speaker 4: as well. It took me writing a book about digital 486 00:22:07,876 --> 00:22:10,516 Speaker 4: wellness to pay attention to the factor, and once I did, 487 00:22:10,716 --> 00:22:13,356 Speaker 4: I wasn't visiting the chiropractor all the time. I was 488 00:22:13,436 --> 00:22:15,956 Speaker 4: able to go through a day and not feel like 489 00:22:15,996 --> 00:22:18,676 Speaker 4: my whole body hurt just from sitting at work, and 490 00:22:18,756 --> 00:22:19,676 Speaker 4: it's really important. 491 00:22:19,716 --> 00:22:21,996 Speaker 3: Another thing that's really important, which gets us to tip 492 00:22:22,076 --> 00:22:24,716 Speaker 3: number five, is that we need to kind of navigate 493 00:22:24,716 --> 00:22:27,516 Speaker 3: our technology use in the bedroom in order to protect 494 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:31,356 Speaker 3: our sleep. How has technology been affecting sleep and what 495 00:22:31,396 --> 00:22:34,596 Speaker 3: are some best practices we can do to allow ourselves 496 00:22:34,636 --> 00:22:37,316 Speaker 3: to protect our sleep while still enjoying the screens that 497 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,436 Speaker 3: we enjoy so much. 498 00:22:38,916 --> 00:22:40,916 Speaker 2: So there is some debate on this topic. 499 00:22:40,956 --> 00:22:44,236 Speaker 4: Actually, we've heard a lot about the importance of keeping 500 00:22:44,276 --> 00:22:47,636 Speaker 4: your phone out of the bedroom, and that specifically because 501 00:22:47,836 --> 00:22:50,476 Speaker 4: the blue light that's emitted from your screen has been 502 00:22:50,516 --> 00:22:54,516 Speaker 4: known to mess with your circadian rhythms, which makes it 503 00:22:54,556 --> 00:22:56,676 Speaker 4: harder for you to fall asleep, makes it harder for 504 00:22:56,716 --> 00:22:58,396 Speaker 4: you to have good sleep and then wake up at 505 00:22:58,396 --> 00:23:01,316 Speaker 4: it at a decent hour. And the second reason why 506 00:23:01,436 --> 00:23:03,476 Speaker 4: it's advised to keep your phone out of the bedroom 507 00:23:03,556 --> 00:23:06,876 Speaker 4: is because it's really tempting to check that email right 508 00:23:06,916 --> 00:23:10,436 Speaker 4: before bed, or to stay up watching something on your screen, 509 00:23:10,596 --> 00:23:12,836 Speaker 4: or to mess around, you know, playing a game or whatever. 510 00:23:13,076 --> 00:23:16,036 Speaker 4: And so the temptation is so high, I will tell 511 00:23:16,116 --> 00:23:18,956 Speaker 4: you truthfully, and I think it's important as a digital 512 00:23:18,956 --> 00:23:21,996 Speaker 4: wellness expert to be as authentic as possible. I do 513 00:23:22,036 --> 00:23:24,396 Speaker 4: sleep with my phone right beside my bed, and there's 514 00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:27,956 Speaker 4: two reasons why. Number one is because there's now the 515 00:23:27,956 --> 00:23:30,396 Speaker 4: ability to change the amount of blue light emitted on 516 00:23:30,436 --> 00:23:32,956 Speaker 4: your phone, so you can actually decrease the brightness if 517 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:35,836 Speaker 4: it's not as impactful. Too, is I still use it 518 00:23:35,876 --> 00:23:38,916 Speaker 4: as my alarm calendar. That helps me feel more at peace, 519 00:23:39,036 --> 00:23:40,676 Speaker 4: and so if we're just going to be really real 520 00:23:40,716 --> 00:23:43,476 Speaker 4: here right now, that's important for me. The third reason 521 00:23:43,516 --> 00:23:45,756 Speaker 4: is I actually like to read myself to sleep, and 522 00:23:46,036 --> 00:23:48,116 Speaker 4: I find that is the number one thing that helps 523 00:23:48,156 --> 00:23:50,276 Speaker 4: me to naturally wind my brain down at the end 524 00:23:50,276 --> 00:23:52,156 Speaker 4: of the day. And so if I can have the 525 00:23:52,196 --> 00:23:55,516 Speaker 4: self control enough to not check that email right before bed, 526 00:23:55,636 --> 00:23:58,276 Speaker 4: then it works. If we don't have that self control, 527 00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,956 Speaker 4: then it can become a problem. And so it comes 528 00:24:00,996 --> 00:24:04,596 Speaker 4: back to evaluating for yourself, what are your triggers, what 529 00:24:04,636 --> 00:24:07,556 Speaker 4: are your boundaries, what works for you, And if there's 530 00:24:07,556 --> 00:24:09,876 Speaker 4: a way that you can keep your phone great, if 531 00:24:09,876 --> 00:24:12,236 Speaker 4: it feels better or you think that it will help 532 00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:14,316 Speaker 4: you to reach your goals by keeping it out of 533 00:24:14,316 --> 00:24:15,836 Speaker 4: the bedroom, that I highly suggest it. 534 00:24:16,196 --> 00:24:18,636 Speaker 3: Another strategy you've mentioned, which I think is a nice 535 00:24:18,636 --> 00:24:21,316 Speaker 3: balance when maybe keeping your phone there but not kind 536 00:24:21,316 --> 00:24:23,716 Speaker 3: of going to it as much, is this idea of 537 00:24:23,756 --> 00:24:27,316 Speaker 3: a screen free morning practice, so that your first moments 538 00:24:27,316 --> 00:24:31,276 Speaker 3: of wakefulness aren't interacting with that screen. Any good ideas 539 00:24:31,316 --> 00:24:33,796 Speaker 3: for how to engage with that screen free morning practice. 540 00:24:33,836 --> 00:24:36,276 Speaker 4: I'm a huge advocate of the screen free morning practice, 541 00:24:36,316 --> 00:24:39,396 Speaker 4: and I'm still working on this practice myself, but I 542 00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:43,196 Speaker 4: think starting with baby steps is really important and understanding 543 00:24:43,236 --> 00:24:45,396 Speaker 4: the rationale for why would you not look at your 544 00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,516 Speaker 4: phone first thing in the morning, And the reason is 545 00:24:47,796 --> 00:24:51,196 Speaker 4: that when we open our phone, we have I think 546 00:24:51,276 --> 00:24:54,236 Speaker 4: the average number of notifications per day is three hundred 547 00:24:54,316 --> 00:24:57,556 Speaker 4: and twenty three notifications that are pinging at us throughout 548 00:24:57,556 --> 00:25:00,156 Speaker 4: the day my gosh, right, so including I'm sure a 549 00:25:00,196 --> 00:25:00,876 Speaker 4: bunch at night. 550 00:25:01,036 --> 00:25:02,756 Speaker 3: So as soon as you wake up, there's like a 551 00:25:02,796 --> 00:25:04,196 Speaker 3: whole host of them just sitting there. 552 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:06,396 Speaker 4: They are all waiting for you, and they will be 553 00:25:06,476 --> 00:25:08,916 Speaker 4: there still even a little bit later in the morning. 554 00:25:09,316 --> 00:25:12,036 Speaker 4: So the thought is that rather than wake up to 555 00:25:12,196 --> 00:25:15,396 Speaker 4: the tyranny of the urgent, why not give yourself that 556 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:18,996 Speaker 4: headspace where you control the course of your day where 557 00:25:19,076 --> 00:25:22,116 Speaker 4: you allow other people's thoughts and when you're ready. Most 558 00:25:22,116 --> 00:25:25,076 Speaker 4: of us don't want to wake up to a fire alarm. 559 00:25:25,156 --> 00:25:27,796 Speaker 4: And that's the equivalent of what's happening when we open 560 00:25:27,796 --> 00:25:30,236 Speaker 4: our phone and you think, Oh, this bill needs to 561 00:25:30,276 --> 00:25:32,156 Speaker 4: get paid, Oh, this person needs to go there, the 562 00:25:32,196 --> 00:25:34,956 Speaker 4: dog needs to get groomed. This project you forgot, you 563 00:25:34,996 --> 00:25:37,996 Speaker 4: didn't do ten tasks yesterday. Oh my gosh, my stress 564 00:25:38,076 --> 00:25:41,596 Speaker 4: levels rising. Right, So do yourself a solid keep that 565 00:25:41,716 --> 00:25:43,756 Speaker 4: for as long as you can to have that morning 566 00:25:43,796 --> 00:25:46,396 Speaker 4: mindfulness space, and even if it's five minutes for the 567 00:25:46,396 --> 00:25:48,636 Speaker 4: start of the day, that's a great place to start. 568 00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:50,996 Speaker 3: And if you are using your phone even in the 569 00:25:51,036 --> 00:25:54,276 Speaker 3: mornings or however, one other tip, tip number six is 570 00:25:54,316 --> 00:25:56,596 Speaker 3: to find ways to use your technology to make sure 571 00:25:56,636 --> 00:25:59,276 Speaker 3: you're doing the kinds of happiness hacks that you've heard 572 00:25:59,316 --> 00:26:02,796 Speaker 3: about on this podcast and elsewhere. When I think about 573 00:26:02,796 --> 00:26:05,076 Speaker 3: my morning's screen practice, one of the things I like 574 00:26:05,116 --> 00:26:07,316 Speaker 3: to do is to kind of quickly scribble in a 575 00:26:07,356 --> 00:26:10,356 Speaker 3: gratitude journal or maybe to open up a screen, maybe 576 00:26:10,356 --> 00:26:13,596 Speaker 3: my laptop, and do a quick journaling practice. How can 577 00:26:13,676 --> 00:26:17,116 Speaker 3: we kind of maybe incorporate more technology into the healthier 578 00:26:17,276 --> 00:26:20,436 Speaker 3: side of practices and maybe what are some other examples 579 00:26:20,436 --> 00:26:22,596 Speaker 3: that people could think about in their own lives. 580 00:26:23,076 --> 00:26:24,756 Speaker 4: So one of the things that I love to talk 581 00:26:24,796 --> 00:26:27,076 Speaker 4: to audiences about is what's called the J game. And 582 00:26:27,116 --> 00:26:30,756 Speaker 4: these are the five most well researched habits, positive habits 583 00:26:30,796 --> 00:26:33,436 Speaker 4: that can help raise your baseline for happiness. You know 584 00:26:33,476 --> 00:26:36,516 Speaker 4: these well, Doctor Santos, But these would be J for journaling, 585 00:26:36,676 --> 00:26:40,156 Speaker 4: G for gratitude, A for acts of kindness, IN for meditation, 586 00:26:40,436 --> 00:26:43,676 Speaker 4: and E for exercise. And while these are all potentially 587 00:26:43,716 --> 00:26:46,076 Speaker 4: offline habits, I think there's also a way to do 588 00:26:46,196 --> 00:26:49,076 Speaker 4: all five of them online. For instance, I know that 589 00:26:49,156 --> 00:26:51,716 Speaker 4: iPhone now has a new journal app and it'll ping 590 00:26:51,796 --> 00:26:54,036 Speaker 4: you at the evening to remind you, Hey, write down 591 00:26:54,076 --> 00:26:56,236 Speaker 4: two or three things that happened today so you didn't forget. 592 00:26:56,316 --> 00:26:59,156 Speaker 4: There's a gratitude app I love. It's called Gratitude, and 593 00:26:59,196 --> 00:27:01,636 Speaker 4: it just gives you three blinks to write your gratitudes 594 00:27:01,636 --> 00:27:03,596 Speaker 4: and it keeps tracks so you can look back at. 595 00:27:03,476 --> 00:27:04,156 Speaker 2: Them over time. 596 00:27:04,436 --> 00:27:06,636 Speaker 4: For acts of kindness, I like to send a text 597 00:27:06,716 --> 00:27:09,916 Speaker 4: message once a day to somebody in my social support 598 00:27:09,956 --> 00:27:12,716 Speaker 4: network just saying hey, I'm thinking about you or thanks 599 00:27:12,716 --> 00:27:15,476 Speaker 4: for something you did meditation, Check out. 600 00:27:15,316 --> 00:27:16,876 Speaker 2: Headspace, check out YouTube. 601 00:27:16,956 --> 00:27:20,396 Speaker 4: Lots of great resources and of course, exercise tying in 602 00:27:20,436 --> 00:27:22,236 Speaker 4: some of the ways that we can be inspired to 603 00:27:22,316 --> 00:27:25,036 Speaker 4: keep track of our health and fitness. These are always 604 00:27:25,076 --> 00:27:27,956 Speaker 4: that if you have an intention to raise your happiness, 605 00:27:28,396 --> 00:27:31,676 Speaker 4: you can use technology to do it or not. Either way, 606 00:27:31,956 --> 00:27:34,436 Speaker 4: but whatever works best for you, you will need to 607 00:27:34,436 --> 00:27:36,756 Speaker 4: find that so that you can stick with it over time. 608 00:27:37,596 --> 00:27:40,836 Speaker 3: Finding digital balance during your leisure time is hugely important, 609 00:27:41,356 --> 00:27:43,396 Speaker 3: but many of us spend the majority of our waking 610 00:27:43,396 --> 00:27:46,116 Speaker 3: hours at work. How do we make sure our phones 611 00:27:46,156 --> 00:27:49,636 Speaker 3: and screens don't boss us around there? The Happiness Lab 612 00:27:49,716 --> 00:28:00,196 Speaker 3: will be back in a moment. All my good intentions 613 00:28:00,196 --> 00:28:02,996 Speaker 3: about finding a healthy digital balance fall by the wayside 614 00:28:02,996 --> 00:28:05,236 Speaker 3: when it comes to work. I know I should be 615 00:28:05,236 --> 00:28:07,996 Speaker 3: avoiding screens and Reddit rabbit holes in my free time, 616 00:28:08,396 --> 00:28:11,516 Speaker 3: but as a profession with so many responsibilities, shouldn't I 617 00:28:11,596 --> 00:28:14,636 Speaker 3: be responding to email at all hours or checking social 618 00:28:14,676 --> 00:28:17,876 Speaker 3: media for the latest psychology news. It kind of feels 619 00:28:17,956 --> 00:28:21,836 Speaker 3: like my duty. Author and digital wellness expert Amy Blankson 620 00:28:22,036 --> 00:28:22,756 Speaker 3: isn't so sure. 621 00:28:23,356 --> 00:28:26,556 Speaker 4: The greatest challenge in the workplace for finding digital balance 622 00:28:26,716 --> 00:28:29,196 Speaker 4: is being able to carve out digital boundaries in a 623 00:28:29,236 --> 00:28:33,756 Speaker 4: way that you feel will be seen and respected, especially 624 00:28:33,916 --> 00:28:36,076 Speaker 4: by those who are more senior to you. I talk 625 00:28:36,156 --> 00:28:38,596 Speaker 4: to employees all the time who are worried that if 626 00:28:38,636 --> 00:28:40,956 Speaker 4: they don't respond to that email at eleven PM and 627 00:28:41,076 --> 00:28:43,356 Speaker 4: all of their colleagues do, that they'll be seen as 628 00:28:43,476 --> 00:28:46,716 Speaker 4: non responsive and this creates sort of a slippery slope 629 00:28:46,796 --> 00:28:50,636 Speaker 4: of negative habits and round the clock, always on connectivity. 630 00:28:50,676 --> 00:28:52,076 Speaker 2: That's not helping anyone. 631 00:28:52,436 --> 00:28:56,556 Speaker 4: So really beginning to have those conversations at work is 632 00:28:56,596 --> 00:28:59,836 Speaker 4: an important next step in terms of figuring out what 633 00:29:00,116 --> 00:29:02,276 Speaker 4: is allowed, what kind of latitude do you have to 634 00:29:02,316 --> 00:29:05,676 Speaker 4: make choices? And then for those who are junior to you, 635 00:29:06,116 --> 00:29:08,796 Speaker 4: how can you impact their lives with what power you 636 00:29:08,836 --> 00:29:12,316 Speaker 4: do have to set some policies or set some behaviors 637 00:29:12,716 --> 00:29:15,116 Speaker 4: or even just social scripts in the workplace that help 638 00:29:15,196 --> 00:29:18,716 Speaker 4: reinforce positive digital balance and a more positive digital culture. 639 00:29:19,196 --> 00:29:20,876 Speaker 3: And so that was sort of tips umber seven how 640 00:29:20,876 --> 00:29:24,076 Speaker 3: we can fight our hyperconnectivity. Your tip number eight is 641 00:29:24,076 --> 00:29:26,916 Speaker 3: that we should think more about screen fatigue and how 642 00:29:26,916 --> 00:29:27,636 Speaker 3: to deal with it. 643 00:29:27,756 --> 00:29:29,836 Speaker 1: I think I know very very well what this is, 644 00:29:29,876 --> 00:29:30,436 Speaker 1: but I want. 645 00:29:30,276 --> 00:29:32,916 Speaker 3: To hear your definition of screen fatigue and I definitely 646 00:29:32,956 --> 00:29:34,556 Speaker 3: want to hear all your tips that we can use 647 00:29:34,596 --> 00:29:36,516 Speaker 3: to kind of deal with it and make it better. 648 00:29:36,756 --> 00:29:40,796 Speaker 4: Screen fatigue is essentially when you get tired of looking 649 00:29:40,876 --> 00:29:43,276 Speaker 4: at screens. A lot of times it is prompted by 650 00:29:43,436 --> 00:29:46,876 Speaker 4: zoom fatigue, or team's fatigue, or even slack fatigue, but 651 00:29:47,316 --> 00:29:51,116 Speaker 4: there is a general sense of malaise and even irritability 652 00:29:51,156 --> 00:29:53,276 Speaker 4: that emerges when you're on a screen for too long. 653 00:29:53,436 --> 00:29:55,516 Speaker 4: It could show up physically, like your eyes start to 654 00:29:55,596 --> 00:29:57,716 Speaker 4: dry out or you start to get headaches, but for 655 00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:00,036 Speaker 4: a lot of people, it's a lot more subtle than that. 656 00:30:00,196 --> 00:30:04,316 Speaker 4: It's just that general sense of unrest that you're frustrated 657 00:30:04,356 --> 00:30:06,956 Speaker 4: and you don't know why that comes from a screen fatigue. 658 00:30:07,036 --> 00:30:10,316 Speaker 4: And we've had some interesting studies emerge now since the 659 00:30:10,316 --> 00:30:14,476 Speaker 4: pandemic around why this happens specifically with zoom fatigue, and 660 00:30:14,516 --> 00:30:17,356 Speaker 4: it's often called the Brady Bunch effect. And the idea is, 661 00:30:17,476 --> 00:30:19,516 Speaker 4: like the Brady Bunch, you have all these different small 662 00:30:19,556 --> 00:30:22,796 Speaker 4: screens and pictures of individuals that might be on the 663 00:30:22,836 --> 00:30:25,716 Speaker 4: call with you, and your brain is spending so much 664 00:30:25,836 --> 00:30:29,156 Speaker 4: energy flickering between all the other faces on the screen 665 00:30:29,356 --> 00:30:32,796 Speaker 4: the chat. What you're looking like you're managing for your background, 666 00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:36,796 Speaker 4: and so the amount of mental energy that it takes 667 00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:39,756 Speaker 4: to manage all of that actually drains you way faster 668 00:30:39,996 --> 00:30:42,796 Speaker 4: than an in person interaction would. And so as we 669 00:30:42,836 --> 00:30:45,996 Speaker 4: are adults and professionals being mindful of our screen fatigue, 670 00:30:46,036 --> 00:30:49,556 Speaker 4: it's really important to both plan for short breaks in 671 00:30:49,596 --> 00:30:53,796 Speaker 4: between different screen activities and to give others that same 672 00:30:53,836 --> 00:30:56,796 Speaker 4: sort of break when we're planning and scheduling activities. Because 673 00:30:56,796 --> 00:30:59,596 Speaker 4: we know that this plays an important factor in burnout. 674 00:30:59,716 --> 00:31:01,276 Speaker 3: It also seems that we just need to be a 675 00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:03,676 Speaker 3: little bit more intentional about noticing it. I loved your 676 00:31:03,716 --> 00:31:06,676 Speaker 3: comment about sometimes the screen fatigue isn't that I've developed 677 00:31:06,716 --> 00:31:08,676 Speaker 3: some sort of mind grade or a headache. It's really 678 00:31:08,716 --> 00:31:11,956 Speaker 3: just that, like, I'm incredibly frustrated on my last nerve, 679 00:31:11,996 --> 00:31:13,836 Speaker 3: but that actually comes from the fact that I'm kind 680 00:31:13,836 --> 00:31:16,036 Speaker 3: of a little bit more depleted because I've been on 681 00:31:16,156 --> 00:31:19,076 Speaker 3: zoom calls all day. So any kind of tips for 682 00:31:19,156 --> 00:31:22,196 Speaker 3: kind of noticing that and allowing it to I. 683 00:31:22,076 --> 00:31:24,476 Speaker 4: Think that you'll notice it. Now that you've heard it, 684 00:31:24,516 --> 00:31:27,036 Speaker 4: you think about it, you'll notice it more often. The 685 00:31:27,156 --> 00:31:29,156 Speaker 4: harder question is what do you do on the back end? 686 00:31:29,196 --> 00:31:31,556 Speaker 4: Once you notice it and you're required to be on 687 00:31:31,676 --> 00:31:32,996 Speaker 4: Zoom all day for work. 688 00:31:33,156 --> 00:31:35,756 Speaker 2: And there are a few hacks that I'm finding. 689 00:31:35,876 --> 00:31:38,756 Speaker 4: My number one most favorite hack so far as that 690 00:31:39,116 --> 00:31:41,516 Speaker 4: when people book meetings with me on my calendar, I 691 00:31:41,676 --> 00:31:44,796 Speaker 4: made a new option that's called the walk and talk option, 692 00:31:45,036 --> 00:31:46,716 Speaker 4: So you can meet with me. They're thirty minutes or 693 00:31:46,716 --> 00:31:49,476 Speaker 4: an hour, or you could have a walk and talk 694 00:31:49,516 --> 00:31:51,276 Speaker 4: and we could put on tennis shoes and walk in 695 00:31:51,316 --> 00:31:53,836 Speaker 4: the sunshine and be aware that there might be when 696 00:31:53,956 --> 00:31:55,996 Speaker 4: there might be noise, but we're both just going to 697 00:31:56,036 --> 00:31:58,396 Speaker 4: embrace it and love the fact that we can get 698 00:31:58,436 --> 00:32:00,756 Speaker 4: away from the desk for a little bit. People have 699 00:32:00,996 --> 00:32:04,236 Speaker 4: been loving this option, so I think there's some ways 700 00:32:04,236 --> 00:32:07,236 Speaker 4: that we can reclaim that. I also really recommend that 701 00:32:07,716 --> 00:32:12,276 Speaker 4: when you feel like that frustration rising up within yourself 702 00:32:12,316 --> 00:32:15,836 Speaker 4: with screen fatigue, is to step away, step away from 703 00:32:15,876 --> 00:32:18,756 Speaker 4: the computer, and then do something really manual. So if 704 00:32:18,796 --> 00:32:21,316 Speaker 4: you happen to have the luxury to work from home, 705 00:32:21,476 --> 00:32:24,236 Speaker 4: maybe it's washing dishes or folding laundry. If you're in 706 00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,436 Speaker 4: the office, maybe it's going to take a walk, could 707 00:32:27,476 --> 00:32:29,396 Speaker 4: be talking to a colleague for a minute or two. 708 00:32:29,756 --> 00:32:31,996 Speaker 4: It could mean taking a trip to the bathroom just 709 00:32:32,036 --> 00:32:33,956 Speaker 4: to have a change of scenery for a minute. But 710 00:32:34,036 --> 00:32:37,396 Speaker 4: whatever it is, having that break is absolutely essential so 711 00:32:37,436 --> 00:32:40,596 Speaker 4: that you don't send yourself into a mental decline over 712 00:32:40,636 --> 00:32:41,236 Speaker 4: a frustration. 713 00:32:41,796 --> 00:32:44,236 Speaker 3: I love exactly this tip because I literally just did 714 00:32:44,236 --> 00:32:46,876 Speaker 3: this just before we're having this conversation, not in a 715 00:32:46,916 --> 00:32:49,556 Speaker 3: studio together, but over Zoom, as many of my podcast 716 00:32:49,636 --> 00:32:53,196 Speaker 3: interviews are, and I was on Zoom a bunch today 717 00:32:53,276 --> 00:32:56,076 Speaker 3: and I just took time to just go do some laundry. 718 00:32:56,116 --> 00:32:58,556 Speaker 3: Not necessarily because there was like an urgent laundry need, 719 00:32:58,596 --> 00:33:01,276 Speaker 3: but just because like I needed something physical to do. 720 00:33:01,356 --> 00:33:03,636 Speaker 1: I needed something that was like away from the screens. 721 00:33:03,676 --> 00:33:06,116 Speaker 1: And I think it did help right just to kind 722 00:33:06,116 --> 00:33:07,196 Speaker 1: of get that time away. 723 00:33:08,036 --> 00:33:11,036 Speaker 3: But the laundry the idea sort of fits with your 724 00:33:11,116 --> 00:33:13,716 Speaker 3: tip number nine of how to kind of get digital 725 00:33:13,716 --> 00:33:16,836 Speaker 3: balance at work, especially when we're working remotely, which is 726 00:33:16,836 --> 00:33:19,316 Speaker 3: to think really critically about the spaces that we're working 727 00:33:19,356 --> 00:33:22,236 Speaker 3: from and how we can set up some separations between 728 00:33:22,276 --> 00:33:24,756 Speaker 3: the digital world and the in real life world. You've 729 00:33:24,756 --> 00:33:27,676 Speaker 3: talked about this idea of an invisible fence. What is 730 00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:30,116 Speaker 3: that and how can it impact our home office? 731 00:33:30,436 --> 00:33:33,876 Speaker 4: So an invisible fence is literally just a digital boundary 732 00:33:33,956 --> 00:33:36,356 Speaker 4: that you set for yourself. But a lot of times 733 00:33:36,356 --> 00:33:39,156 Speaker 4: what happens is that when we set a boundary, say okay, 734 00:33:39,236 --> 00:33:41,476 Speaker 4: I don't want to have phones at the dinner table. 735 00:33:41,716 --> 00:33:45,756 Speaker 4: If you don't ever tell anybody that is your invisible fence, 736 00:33:45,796 --> 00:33:48,076 Speaker 4: they will literally cross over it all the time. But 737 00:33:48,116 --> 00:33:50,476 Speaker 4: there are ways that we can set up boundaries for 738 00:33:50,516 --> 00:33:54,036 Speaker 4: ourselves and communicate them or post them that help others 739 00:33:54,076 --> 00:33:57,156 Speaker 4: to help us to keep those boundaries together. The idea 740 00:33:57,156 --> 00:34:00,076 Speaker 4: of the invisible fence initially came from trying to train 741 00:34:00,196 --> 00:34:03,716 Speaker 4: my dog to stay in my yard in Virginia, so 742 00:34:03,716 --> 00:34:05,436 Speaker 4: the first house I'd ever lived in where there were 743 00:34:05,476 --> 00:34:08,276 Speaker 4: no fences, and I discovered that it wasn't just that 744 00:34:08,316 --> 00:34:11,836 Speaker 4: all Virginia were so well behaved, all the houses had 745 00:34:11,956 --> 00:34:15,436 Speaker 4: invisible fences. And what was even more amazing is that 746 00:34:15,516 --> 00:34:18,556 Speaker 4: when we got consultation for our invisible fence for our dog, 747 00:34:18,636 --> 00:34:21,076 Speaker 4: we learned that eighty percent of the fences are not 748 00:34:21,236 --> 00:34:24,036 Speaker 4: turned on, that the dogs learn the boundaries and once 749 00:34:24,076 --> 00:34:26,476 Speaker 4: they learn them, they don't cross over them again. And 750 00:34:26,516 --> 00:34:30,356 Speaker 4: so it really is about a training process. And while 751 00:34:30,356 --> 00:34:32,556 Speaker 4: we're not dogs, I do think there's certain ways that 752 00:34:32,596 --> 00:34:35,836 Speaker 4: we as humans can train ourselves, but it starts with 753 00:34:35,996 --> 00:34:38,476 Speaker 4: a recognizing this is a boundary I want to have, 754 00:34:38,596 --> 00:34:41,476 Speaker 4: and then be working with people around us to respect 755 00:34:41,556 --> 00:34:44,796 Speaker 4: those boundaries so that they're not unconsciously tripping over them 756 00:34:44,876 --> 00:34:47,196 Speaker 4: and the pandemic. For me, this was a moment where 757 00:34:47,276 --> 00:34:49,276 Speaker 4: I had to put a sign on my office door 758 00:34:49,276 --> 00:34:52,116 Speaker 4: for my children that said I am in a podcast, 759 00:34:52,236 --> 00:34:52,796 Speaker 4: or I am. 760 00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:55,116 Speaker 2: Recording, or I am doing deep work right now. 761 00:34:55,316 --> 00:34:59,356 Speaker 4: And beyond that, it wasn't just about posting the note. 762 00:34:59,436 --> 00:35:00,836 Speaker 2: It was about telling them. 763 00:35:00,916 --> 00:35:03,836 Speaker 4: When I was going to be available again, because they 764 00:35:03,876 --> 00:35:07,396 Speaker 4: didn't actually want to know what my schedule was. They 765 00:35:07,476 --> 00:35:09,076 Speaker 4: just wanted to know when they could have my attention. 766 00:35:09,476 --> 00:35:12,356 Speaker 4: And a lot of times that happens with colleagues with emails. 767 00:35:12,476 --> 00:35:15,036 Speaker 4: They don't necessarily need your response right now, They just 768 00:35:15,076 --> 00:35:17,236 Speaker 4: want to know when they're going to get your response. 769 00:35:17,436 --> 00:35:19,556 Speaker 4: And so when you put a footer in your email 770 00:35:19,596 --> 00:35:22,716 Speaker 4: that says I do not respond to messages on the weekend, 771 00:35:22,716 --> 00:35:24,676 Speaker 4: but I look forward to getting back to you on Monday, 772 00:35:24,876 --> 00:35:26,636 Speaker 4: it gives them a sense of calm that they know 773 00:35:26,636 --> 00:35:28,396 Speaker 4: where they're going to hear from you, and it gives 774 00:35:28,436 --> 00:35:31,676 Speaker 4: you that digital space to be able to flourish yourself. 775 00:35:31,636 --> 00:35:33,916 Speaker 3: And so any other good examples of kind of invisible 776 00:35:33,996 --> 00:35:35,796 Speaker 3: fences that you've set up in your home to kind 777 00:35:35,796 --> 00:35:38,356 Speaker 3: of protect your remote work or maybe to protect your 778 00:35:38,396 --> 00:35:39,156 Speaker 3: home life from. 779 00:35:39,036 --> 00:35:41,236 Speaker 1: The remote work seeping into your home life. 780 00:35:41,476 --> 00:35:44,996 Speaker 4: Yes, I mean one of the most familiar invisible fences 781 00:35:45,036 --> 00:35:47,876 Speaker 4: that many people use is some sort of filter. If 782 00:35:47,876 --> 00:35:50,036 Speaker 4: you're a parent, it's a filter for your children on 783 00:35:50,076 --> 00:35:51,316 Speaker 4: what they can see on the internet. 784 00:35:51,396 --> 00:35:53,476 Speaker 2: We can have them as adults as well. We can 785 00:35:53,516 --> 00:35:54,236 Speaker 2: also have them. 786 00:35:54,556 --> 00:35:56,676 Speaker 4: I know my husband is a gamer, and so he 787 00:35:56,756 --> 00:35:59,836 Speaker 4: will put screen limits for himself so that when he's 788 00:35:59,876 --> 00:36:01,716 Speaker 4: been on the screen for too long, it'll have a 789 00:36:01,716 --> 00:36:04,236 Speaker 4: message say, hey, it's time for a break. That's an 790 00:36:04,276 --> 00:36:08,076 Speaker 4: invisible fence he set up for himself. I think for 791 00:36:08,196 --> 00:36:11,716 Speaker 4: my children, one of the invisible fences that I'm trying 792 00:36:11,756 --> 00:36:15,236 Speaker 4: to create is a mantra in their head. It's literally like, 793 00:36:15,476 --> 00:36:17,836 Speaker 4: I want to be more mindful, I want to be 794 00:36:17,956 --> 00:36:18,596 Speaker 4: more digitally. 795 00:36:18,636 --> 00:36:19,716 Speaker 2: Well, this is a good thing. 796 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:22,956 Speaker 4: So we can even use our own mental game as 797 00:36:22,996 --> 00:36:25,396 Speaker 4: an invisible fence to help us to stay on task. 798 00:36:26,116 --> 00:36:28,196 Speaker 3: And so that's some ways we can set better boundaries 799 00:36:28,276 --> 00:36:30,676 Speaker 3: using these invisible fences. But now we're going to get 800 00:36:30,716 --> 00:36:32,756 Speaker 3: to the tenth and final tip that I think is 801 00:36:32,796 --> 00:36:35,716 Speaker 3: specifically about digital balance at work, which is how we 802 00:36:35,756 --> 00:36:38,676 Speaker 3: can get some in real life social connection at work, 803 00:36:38,956 --> 00:36:41,476 Speaker 3: even given the fact that we might be working remotely. 804 00:36:41,996 --> 00:36:44,316 Speaker 3: I know that there's so many studies that have shown 805 00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,796 Speaker 3: that belonging at work and having friends at work is 806 00:36:46,836 --> 00:36:49,476 Speaker 3: so important for our happiness at work, but that can 807 00:36:49,516 --> 00:36:52,276 Speaker 3: be so tricky when we're engaged in remote work, and 808 00:36:52,316 --> 00:36:54,436 Speaker 3: so any specific tips for how we can kind of 809 00:36:54,516 --> 00:36:57,996 Speaker 3: be better about connecting socially even if we're connecting on 810 00:36:58,116 --> 00:36:59,516 Speaker 3: Zoom or Slack and the like. 811 00:37:00,236 --> 00:37:03,956 Speaker 4: So I actually watched Mark McConnell, who is a senior 812 00:37:04,116 --> 00:37:08,316 Speaker 4: wellness specialist at ATV Financial, literally give up masterclass on 813 00:37:08,356 --> 00:37:10,716 Speaker 4: how to do this. My jaw was just dropped as 814 00:37:10,716 --> 00:37:12,956 Speaker 4: I watched him lead a session and it was a 815 00:37:13,036 --> 00:37:16,796 Speaker 4: forty five minute webinar, and he packed so much social 816 00:37:16,796 --> 00:37:19,916 Speaker 4: connection into this forty five minutes. He started off with 817 00:37:20,036 --> 00:37:23,396 Speaker 4: three minutes of chat and get to know you, Then 818 00:37:23,436 --> 00:37:27,196 Speaker 4: he led one minute meditation where he brought people together, 819 00:37:27,756 --> 00:37:30,596 Speaker 4: one minute of reflection, got right into the task, and 820 00:37:30,716 --> 00:37:32,276 Speaker 4: all through the webinar. 821 00:37:32,476 --> 00:37:34,196 Speaker 2: There was opportunity for. 822 00:37:34,196 --> 00:37:36,836 Speaker 4: Both chat where he would call out people's names in 823 00:37:36,876 --> 00:37:39,036 Speaker 4: the chat so that he could have some back and 824 00:37:39,076 --> 00:37:41,596 Speaker 4: forth with colleagues, and there's some banter, and there's some 825 00:37:41,636 --> 00:37:44,916 Speaker 4: official work, and then of course the emoticons and emojis 826 00:37:45,396 --> 00:37:48,316 Speaker 4: when we're virtually connecting, and then at the end wrapping 827 00:37:48,396 --> 00:37:51,716 Speaker 4: up by talking about gratitudes. So what he was essentially 828 00:37:51,756 --> 00:37:54,556 Speaker 4: doing is weaving together some of the best practices that 829 00:37:54,596 --> 00:37:58,836 Speaker 4: we've seen in terms of recognition of gratitude and meditation. 830 00:37:59,156 --> 00:38:02,716 Speaker 4: But he was so focused and timely about it and personable. 831 00:38:02,876 --> 00:38:04,796 Speaker 4: And what I like about that, and when I think 832 00:38:04,796 --> 00:38:06,716 Speaker 4: we can pull from it, even if you're not at 833 00:38:06,716 --> 00:38:10,156 Speaker 4: ATB is to recreate a little bit of that in 834 00:38:10,196 --> 00:38:12,676 Speaker 4: our sessions. I think sometimes we think, oh, we got 835 00:38:12,716 --> 00:38:15,156 Speaker 4: to get straight to work, or this is a business meeting, 836 00:38:15,236 --> 00:38:17,876 Speaker 4: so we need to jump right into the tasks and 837 00:38:17,916 --> 00:38:21,596 Speaker 4: be very official. And I've seen a massive shift in 838 00:38:21,636 --> 00:38:24,676 Speaker 4: what's happened in the workplace since the pandemic. Less and 839 00:38:24,756 --> 00:38:27,236 Speaker 4: less are we focus so much on task and more 840 00:38:27,436 --> 00:38:31,796 Speaker 4: about this cross between personal and work at the same time, 841 00:38:32,036 --> 00:38:34,476 Speaker 4: and more interest in one another's lives. So I want 842 00:38:34,476 --> 00:38:37,596 Speaker 4: to encourage individuals. If you haven't been doing that, it's okay. 843 00:38:37,716 --> 00:38:40,076 Speaker 4: It's okay to ask how your colleagues are doing. It's 844 00:38:40,116 --> 00:38:42,836 Speaker 4: okay to take a minute to play around as long 845 00:38:42,876 --> 00:38:45,236 Speaker 4: as you work hard and play hard. And it's also 846 00:38:45,316 --> 00:38:49,516 Speaker 4: a great opportunity to really tune in and ask questions 847 00:38:49,556 --> 00:38:52,596 Speaker 4: about people's lives, to send them an encouraging message, to 848 00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:54,716 Speaker 4: say thank you for something they've done. These are the 849 00:38:54,716 --> 00:38:57,916 Speaker 4: little things that actually deeply matter. Whether you're in person 850 00:38:58,036 --> 00:39:00,516 Speaker 4: or virtual, we can still find ways to connect together. 851 00:39:01,116 --> 00:39:02,316 Speaker 1: Work hard, play hard. 852 00:39:02,996 --> 00:39:06,276 Speaker 3: I really love Amy's message about Digital Wellness Day because 853 00:39:06,276 --> 00:39:08,116 Speaker 3: she's not telling us to break up with our phones 854 00:39:08,196 --> 00:39:10,996 Speaker 3: or delete all our apps. Yes, May Third's new holiday 855 00:39:11,156 --> 00:39:14,836 Speaker 3: is all about finding balance. It's about embracing the digital good, 856 00:39:15,116 --> 00:39:17,596 Speaker 3: but also noticing what we might be missing out. 857 00:39:17,396 --> 00:39:18,996 Speaker 1: On in real life. 858 00:39:19,036 --> 00:39:21,516 Speaker 3: Whatever you do on Digital Wellness Day, I hope these 859 00:39:21,516 --> 00:39:24,396 Speaker 3: strategies will help you find a bit more balance, and 860 00:39:24,436 --> 00:39:26,556 Speaker 3: I hope you'll join us again for the next episode 861 00:39:26,596 --> 00:39:31,636 Speaker 3: of the Happiness Lab with me Doctor Laurie Santos