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Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, what's up man?

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Speaker 2: What's up? While?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it says here that your name is dubious. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what's up, Dubious?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Not much, just hanging out after a long day

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Speaker 3: of work.

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Speaker 1: What's happening with you?

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty years old, and like I started being a

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Speaker 3: jugular when I was sixteen, I'm not anymore. I have

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Speaker 3: a family and stuff now, and it was just sometimes

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Speaker 3: it's hard for me to accept the transition that has

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Speaker 3: been made in my life, like the calmness of it,

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Speaker 3: the I don't have to feel like somebody's gonna come

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Speaker 3: around the corner and mess me up or something like that.

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Speaker 3: I don't have to feel like I'm gonna be pulled

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Speaker 3: over and get some to prison immediately. Ten years ago,

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Speaker 3: I was still in prison. And then now I'm a

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Speaker 3: father of three and I don't do much anymore, just

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Speaker 3: working home and that's it.

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Speaker 1: How long were you in the game.

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Speaker 3: For Let's see. I I used to sell drugs for

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Speaker 3: my dad when I was a kid, but whenever I

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Speaker 3: started doing it myself, I was sixteen years old, and

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Speaker 3: I did it steadily until I was nineteen, until I

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Speaker 3: went to prison.

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Speaker 1: You sold them for your dad, yes, my.

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Speaker 3: Dad used to tell booker sugar and he thought that

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Speaker 3: it was easier for people to get a bag from

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Speaker 3: a kid then it would be from an adult. That

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Speaker 3: was it was less conspicuous, I guess for him. So

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Speaker 3: he would send me in the room and lay money

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Speaker 3: out and go, this is what the money that you'll

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Speaker 3: get will look like. If it doesn't look like any

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Speaker 3: of these, don't give them back and come back inside.

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Speaker 1: But were were you ever in any danger doing that?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Uh?

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Speaker 3: One time I was almost kidnapped by somebody. CPS was

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Speaker 3: called a bunch of times, so I was. There's a

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Speaker 3: bunch of times where I sat in a in the

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Speaker 3: backseat of a car while my dad's house was being

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Speaker 3: raided and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Do you still what's your relationship like with

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Speaker 1: your dad these days?

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Speaker 3: He died last year, but I mean previously that it

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Speaker 3: wasn't It wasn't very good. It was never really a

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Speaker 3: good relationship. It was he was I mean other than

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Speaker 3: the drugs, than selling, than having your kids sell drugs

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Speaker 3: or you was.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't the best.

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Speaker 3: Dad.

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Speaker 1: What's going on with your mom? Uh?

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Speaker 3: She passed away when I was fourteen. M She did

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Speaker 3: not like it, but I guess she felt like she

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Speaker 3: was stuck with him. She died too young for me.

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Speaker 3: I was too young for me to like ask her

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Speaker 3: what was going on, what she thought and things like that.

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Speaker 1: Hmm hm. And uh, did you ever get into any

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Speaker 1: like legal trouble? Did you ever have to go to

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Speaker 1: prison or jail or anything?

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Speaker 3: Yes, I spent two years in state jail for I

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Speaker 3: got caught with two pounds a week on the interstate

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Speaker 3: going from Colorado to Texas. And uh, yeah, I gave

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Speaker 3: them a fake name. I was on the run already

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Speaker 3: for two years for some other things that I had

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Speaker 3: done previous to that. And uh that just that was

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Speaker 3: the last domino, I guess, or this all that broke

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Speaker 3: the camel's back and everything's just pretty much collapsed underneath

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Speaker 3: me at that point.

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Speaker 1: Now, is there? Have you like served your time already

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Speaker 1: for for everything?

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Speaker 2: Are you?

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Speaker 1: Are you worried at all about any parts of your

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Speaker 1: past life kind of coming back to you?

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Speaker 3: Maybe the only part that I'd be a little worried

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Speaker 3: about would be the thing that I told you in

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Speaker 3: the text message. But other than that, I served my

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Speaker 3: time for what I went to jail for. And as

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Speaker 3: far as the legalities the other things go. I think

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Speaker 3: that there's been enough time that I'm okay to speak

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Speaker 3: about some of these things.

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Speaker 1: Okay, mm hm.

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Speaker 3: Hmmm.

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Speaker 1: What was I gonna say? I don't know why I

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Speaker 1: keep this is stupid, but I'm thinking I've just played

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Speaker 1: Red Dead Redemption, which is about a guy who used

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Speaker 1: to like be in a gang, but he's like turning

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Speaker 1: his life around.

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Speaker 3: I just finished that game myself too. It's a good game.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, you kind of remind me of John Marston.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 1: Well, anyway, what uh what was it like in prison? Man?

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Speaker 3: Did it was? I mean, like you hear stories and shit,

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Speaker 3: and then m I first went in and then I

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Speaker 3: talked to people. The first week was okay, and then

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Speaker 3: after the first month I saw my first stabbing, and

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Speaker 3: then my first month and a half, I saw a

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Speaker 3: grown man's bahole they'd taken away from him unwillingly, pretty

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Speaker 3: in pretty close vicinity. So that was that was one

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Speaker 3: of those moments where I was like, you you ever

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Speaker 3: see those movies where people go to prison and there's

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Speaker 3: always that one guy that's crying and he's.

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Speaker 4: Like, I don't belong here.

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Speaker 3: M hm. Totally felt like that after I saw that happen.

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Speaker 3: I was like, bro, just selling drugs, Dude, I was

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Speaker 3: just selling weed. I don't belong here. I don't feel

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Speaker 3: like I should be in here with you people.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, do you.

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Speaker 1: Ever find it crazy when you go into like a

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Speaker 1: weed shop in Denver or California and it's like a

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Speaker 1: fucking apple store and you can pay for it with

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Speaker 1: a credit card, and you're like, fuck, man, I went

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Speaker 1: to prison for something that's like you combie with a

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Speaker 1: fucking credit card a store at this place.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's still wild. I live in a legal state now,

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Speaker 3: so it's it's definitely crazy, and it's a wild thought

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Speaker 3: to think that I went to prison for two years

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Speaker 3: for that and now I can just go literally buy

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Speaker 3: what I went to prison for and bring it home

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Speaker 3: and just be totally fine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fucking crazy. I feel like I interrupted you.

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Speaker 1: There was something else you were going to say about prison.

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Speaker 3: Let's see, Other than that, it was just, uh, you

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Speaker 3: go about your business and stuff. It was racially divided.

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Speaker 3: So not only was it racially divided, it was your race.

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Speaker 3: Would walk up to you and they'd ask you what

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Speaker 3: part of the state you're from, and then they would

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Speaker 3: point you to the direction of people that are from

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Speaker 3: that area, and then you go hang out with those people,

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Speaker 3: and those are the people that you stick with until

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Speaker 3: you leave or until or unless you decide to do

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Speaker 3: like your thing, like it's not always so much of

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Speaker 3: a protection thing, but just like you're not they they

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Speaker 3: don't really want you to associate with other races.

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Speaker 1: Did you was was there pressure ever to like fight

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Speaker 1: with with the other races or else have your gang

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Speaker 1: like beat you up.

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Speaker 3: Yes, there was one instance where I was at lunch

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Speaker 3: and somebody took my fruit off my train and the guys,

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Speaker 3: the guy that ticket was like, uh, this is mine

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Speaker 3: and that's it right, and I was like, no, man,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna need you to put that back. Then three

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Speaker 3: other gentlemen walked up behind him and he's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't think that's gonna happen, and I I just

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Speaker 3: shut up and I let them walk away. And then

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Speaker 3: after that, another gentleman walked up and sat next to me.

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Speaker 3: He's like, hey, brouh, actually just happened in front of everybody.

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Speaker 3: You can't let that slide. You're gonna have to You're

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Speaker 3: gonna have to handle that. And I didn't know what

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Speaker 3: to do. I was like, I don't know what to do, bro,

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Speaker 3: Like do I beat him up? Or was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm just I'm new here. And he scoffed at me

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Speaker 3: and went fucking you guys and just got up and

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Speaker 3: walked away. And I was like, I don't I don't

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Speaker 3: really know what that means, man, like I'm fucking you here.

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Speaker 3: Like I took that as like you're supposed to know

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Speaker 3: what's going on here already and shit like that, and

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Speaker 3: I was I'm like still a new guy and shit.

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Speaker 3: And someone sold me a knife for protection and then

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Speaker 3: he told me to go he use that on him

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Speaker 3: and things would be okay for me. I didn't use

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Speaker 3: it on him, but I did end up fighting him.

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Speaker 3: I got beat up severely and I went to the

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Speaker 3: hospital in prison for that like maybe like a month

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Speaker 3: and a half because I got jumped by him and

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Speaker 3: his buddies. But I was okay with my people, and

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Speaker 3: I was okay with his people because I guess I

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Speaker 3: had stepped up to him and it was it was

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Speaker 3: what they call a heart check. They just needed to

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Speaker 3: see where I was and if I was going to

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Speaker 3: be a welcome mat to everybody in the prison, or

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Speaker 3: if I was going to be a person that was like,

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Speaker 3: not so much that you had to watch out for,

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Speaker 3: but someone that you're just like, yeah, yeah, I don't

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Speaker 3: mess with him. He's all right, he minds his own.

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Speaker 1: You know, somebody gave you a knife to use on him.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I had to buy that knife. I bought that knife,

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Speaker 3: and after the guy scoffed at me and called me

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Speaker 3: a new guy, someone else walked up and they're like, hey, man,

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Speaker 3: I got what you need. Follow me. Followed him up

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Speaker 3: to his cell and he was like, here's this knife.

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Speaker 3: You owe me this much for it. I think it

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Speaker 3: goes like thirty forty bucks. And yeah, he's like, I

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Speaker 3: use this and go fuck him up. But make sure

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Speaker 3: that it's in front of everybody, so everybody knows that

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Speaker 3: you're handling what happened today.

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Speaker 1: And now that how does that conflict with like, I

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Speaker 1: assume that if you're beating people up in prisoner stabbing people,

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Speaker 1: do they add that on to your sentence? Does that?

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Speaker 2: It depends.

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Speaker 3: It depends on the severity of it. If it was

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Speaker 3: just a fight, you get tossed in the hole and

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Speaker 3: you get maybe another two weeks or a month added

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Speaker 3: to your time, but it was two for one for me,

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Speaker 3: So like every two days it is worth or was it? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: every two days would be one day, or everyone every

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Speaker 3: one day is worth two days, is what they were

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Speaker 3: told me.

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Speaker 1: Every one day is worth two days.

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Speaker 3: Yes, But I either way, I still did two years

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Speaker 3: time because that's that's what I was said into, sentenced

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Speaker 3: to and sentenced to in court. So that's that's what

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Speaker 3: I ended up doing.

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Speaker 1: And did anyone else ever try to fuck with you

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Speaker 1: after that? Or did you eventually kind of get into

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Speaker 1: your own.

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Speaker 3: You know, everything Just it's moved out after that, and

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Speaker 3: I spent the rest of my time there hanging out

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Speaker 3: with people, learning how to draw. I did a couple

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Speaker 3: of drugs in there, but then once you find out

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Speaker 3: how those drugs come in there, you're like, I don't

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Speaker 3: really want to do that stuff no more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, in in people's ass holes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for the most part, Yeah, what kind of drugs?

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Speaker 3: I smoked weed, but there's there was a lot of

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Speaker 3: drugs in there. There's a lot of drugs, but it's

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Speaker 3: just like being in the streets, but just in a

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Speaker 3: confined space.

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Speaker 1: How old were you when you got out?

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Speaker 3: I was twenty one.

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Speaker 1: Wow, So you got in when you were nineteen. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's fucking tough, man.

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Speaker 3: Hm, it was. It was wild.

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Speaker 1: And did the did did the dealing cease when you

225
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Speaker 1: got out or did you go back for more?

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Speaker 3: I didn't deal as hard as I used to, but

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Speaker 3: I still deal because it was something that I was

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Speaker 3: used to doing. It was a like a quick buck,

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Speaker 3: I guess for me, it was just an easy way

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Speaker 3: to get money, so I didn't really have to worry

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Speaker 3: about a job until I started having kids, and then

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Speaker 3: that started to change. Even though it was just sweed,

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Speaker 3: I still didn't want to I didn't want to sell anymore.

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Speaker 3: Like there was times where I would get home from

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Speaker 3: work and then have to back up stuff and go sell,

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Speaker 3: and my son would be like, let's hang out, let's

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Speaker 3: play or something, and I'd be like, oh buddy, I'll

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Speaker 3: be right back. I got to do something real quick,

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Speaker 3: and I just it butt me out to hear that

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Speaker 3: from him, and I felt like I was being my father.

241
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Speaker 3: So I just I felt like it was better for

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Speaker 3: me to stop.

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Speaker 1: How long ago did you stop?

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Speaker 3: Let's see, it's been six years now, so I stop

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Speaker 3: when I was twenty four.

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Speaker 1: When did you give your kid.

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Speaker 3: Shoot, my first kid I had when I was sixteen,

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Speaker 3: my second kid I had when I was twenty three,

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Speaker 3: and then I'm on my third kid now that we'll

250
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Speaker 3: be doing November.

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Speaker 1: Wow, what was up with your kid while you were

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Speaker 1: in jail?

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Speaker 3: My youngest one I do not have the best relationship with.

254
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Speaker 3: He thinks that I left because I didn't love him,

255
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Speaker 3: so like, I'm trying my best to fix that as

256
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Speaker 3: much as I can, but it was it's the way

257
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Speaker 3: he felt growing up with me not being there or

258
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Speaker 3: me being in and out of his life. And his

259
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Speaker 3: mom's not a huge fan of me. So there's always

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Speaker 3: that too. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna ask that too.

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Speaker 3: Not the best question ever.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna ask that too. What do you still

264
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Speaker 1: have a relationship at all with the woman that you

265
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Speaker 1: had the kid with at sixteen?

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Speaker 3: No, I have more relationship with my son now than

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Speaker 3: I do with her. Every time we and her talk,

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Speaker 3: it's always a fight. No matter how much I feel

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Speaker 3: like I have grown as an adult. I try to

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Speaker 3: look at the conversation in so many different ways and

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Speaker 3: try to see how I could say things differently. That

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Speaker 3: she's not offender or anything like that. But there's still

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Speaker 3: some feelings there, and I feel like she still sees

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Speaker 3: me as a fifteen year old kid that got her

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Speaker 3: pregnant all those years ago.

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Speaker 1: Now, what about the two other kids?

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Speaker 3: My youngest son's mom, we're okay, We're okay. It took

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Speaker 3: some time, but we're okay. We co apparent. He comes

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Speaker 3: out and hings out every weekend, and he stays longer

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Speaker 3: on breaks and stuff like that on school. We live

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00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,160
Speaker 3: five minutes away from each other, so it's not that bad.

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Speaker 3: I go see him sometimes during the week. My oldest

283
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Speaker 3: kid lives in Texas and I currently stay in Missouri.

284
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Speaker 3: That's that's a bit more of a travel I try

285
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Speaker 3: to use my vacation in the summertime they go see him.

286
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Speaker 3: And as for my third kid, I'm with her. We're

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Speaker 3: together and we plan on keeping it that way.

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Speaker 1: Is it the same woman the second and the third kid?

289
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Speaker 1: Are they with the same woman?

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00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,560
Speaker 3: Nope? Uh? Three women all together?

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00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,400
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Okay the second kid, Uh, how's how's your

292
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,400
Speaker 1: relationship with that woman?

293
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Speaker 3: It's all right, it's all right. It took some time,

294
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Speaker 3: but we're okay.

295
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Speaker 1: Okay. And are you married down or have a girlfriend.

296
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:30,040
Speaker 1: We're engaged fantastic. Congratulations man, thank you. Are you happy

297
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Speaker 1: or you excited about life?

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Speaker 2: I am.

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Speaker 3: It's very different when I when I think back on

300
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,160
Speaker 3: how much things have changed from being a teenager now

301
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,200
Speaker 3: now calm things are, it's very nice.

302
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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. What do you do for work now?

303
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 3: I'll work at a dog I work at a factory

304
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,160
Speaker 3: that makes flavering for dogging cats. Who I'm our house

305
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:53,640
Speaker 3: guy there?

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00:15:55,200 --> 00:16:00,680
Speaker 1: M hmm. Do you ever like I? No, no, I

307
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,440
Speaker 1: don't know if this is a thing. But do you

308
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:06,400
Speaker 1: do you? I assume that some of the drug dealing

309
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:11,280
Speaker 1: there was like a sense of I don't know, adrenaline there.

310
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Speaker 1: Do you do you miss that or have anything in

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Speaker 1: your life that kind of fulfills that?

312
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 3: Yeah? I know there's there's definitely some times where I

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Speaker 3: miss the fun. Sometimes I tell my fiance that it

314
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,720
Speaker 3: sucks being a healthy adult. Sometimes I just want to

315
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,880
Speaker 3: I want us to have a fight and just like

316
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 3: say horrible mean things to each other and ship for

317
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,800
Speaker 3: once instead of just being like, hey, I understand that

318
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 3: you don't feel very well right now. Whenever you have

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00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,120
Speaker 3: a moment, let's talk about this. I mean, I don't

320
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 3: miss it as much, but there are sometimes that I

321
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 3: do miss it. As for finding something that takes up

322
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:54,240
Speaker 3: that void or that feeling, it's probably just video games

323
00:16:54,280 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 3: and hiking and trying to do like regular people. I guess.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a different perspective or or have you

325
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,400
Speaker 1: developed any kind of thoughts about your relationship with your

326
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:18,119
Speaker 1: dad since having kids? And you know, I think so

327
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 1: if you're thirty, your kid is like, you know, fifteen,

328
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 1: and you know about the age that you were when

329
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,560
Speaker 1: your dad was asking you to deal drugs and stuff like, Yeah,

330
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:30,960
Speaker 1: tell me those thoughts that you have.

331
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Speaker 3: I would never do that. I would never ask my

332
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 3: son to do that. I would never put any of

333
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,640
Speaker 3: my kids in any of the situation my dad ever

334
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,960
Speaker 3: put me through. It's as wild as fuck to think

335
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 3: what was going on through my dad's mind during that.

336
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 3: I've always thought that maybe maybe he was too traumatized

337
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 3: by whatever happened in his childhood that he could cope

338
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 3: or just like stopped carrying at some point, because I mean,

339
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,400
Speaker 3: he had seventeen kids. I was the last kid. Wow,

340
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 3: Like another part of me, like another part of me

341
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,600
Speaker 3: is like he's probably just like done with it and

342
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 3: just like did a very bare minimum them was like ah,

343
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 3: you know what, here's an extra thing for you to

344
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:10,440
Speaker 3: do in your life.

345
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 1: Mm hm m hmm. Do you talk to any do

346
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 1: you have any Do you talk to any of your

347
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 1: brothers and sisters?

348
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they're all they're all older than me. They're

349
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,440
Speaker 3: all like in their fifties, late fifties. Yeah, it's a

350
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,160
Speaker 3: it's weird having conversations with him. I get along more

351
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 3: with my nieces and nephews than I.

352
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,200
Speaker 4: Do with them.

353
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 1: Do you get to see them very often?

354
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:35,639
Speaker 3: Not as much as I'd like to?

355
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 1: Hm hm hmm. Do you do you have any friends?

356
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,959
Speaker 3: Yeah?

357
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, Where are those friends from?

358
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 3: They're from I've lived here in Missouri now, so they're

359
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 3: from Missouri. I still have some friends in Texas. I

360
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,879
Speaker 3: have friends that I've made and I guess in the

361
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 3: games that are kind of spread out through the states

362
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 3: and stuff, and a couple of Mexico m hmm.

363
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 1: What's your like? I was gonna say dream in life,

364
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 1: but I guess, you know, how are you thinking about

365
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 1: life moving forward?

366
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 3: Like?

367
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,719
Speaker 1: What are your goals? What do you wanna? What are

368
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 1: you thinking about all day when you're thinking about the future.

369
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 3: Before, I guess, before I had kids, I used to

370
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 3: think that I picked early because of all the vast

371
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 3: amounts of money that I used to make. I mean,

372
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 3: I guess, like to me, it was a lot of money,

373
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,400
Speaker 3: but others it's probably like, yeah, that's not that bad.

374
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 3: But to me, I was making a lot of money

375
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,439
Speaker 3: at that point, and I used to think that I

376
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,679
Speaker 3: peaked at that time. And now that I have kids, Uh,

377
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,439
Speaker 3: my dream now is to just be a good a

378
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,439
Speaker 3: good father. I just I want to be involved in

379
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,920
Speaker 3: my kid's life and I just want to be there

380
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,199
Speaker 3: as much as I can and to show them that

381
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 3: I love them.

382
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 2: Uh.

383
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,879
Speaker 3: That's it. That's it really. I mean, I feel like

384
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,960
Speaker 3: my dreams are over. I mean, not that they're necessarily

385
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,199
Speaker 3: over because I have kids, but like I've done a

386
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 3: lot of fun things in my life that I don't

387
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 3: feel like there's a lot more for me to do,

388
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,679
Speaker 3: and it's I feel like I'd rather put that energy

389
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 3: into my kids and my family and my regular life. Now.

390
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 1: I guess that's great. Man. How'd you meet your wife.

391
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 3: On a dating app? Actually?

392
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 1: Which one?

393
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 3: It was called? Okay? Okay Cupid?

394
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 1: Okay Cupid? Yeah, yeah, I was on Cupid back in college.

395
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. It was supposed to be a one

396
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 3: night stand that ended up being something really great.

397
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 1: That's wonderful.

398
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 2: Man.

399
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 1: What's uh, what's her deal? What's her life like?

400
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 3: She grew up very differently than I did. She's five

401
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:55,639
Speaker 3: years younger than I am. We kind of didn't have

402
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 3: the best of the childhoods. So I guess we we

403
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 3: bond in that. But I mean, we're very We're totally opposite,

404
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,399
Speaker 3: and it's it's weird that we even have been together

405
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 3: this long, but we we fit perfectly mm hmm.

406
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 1: Opposite And what what kind of way.

407
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 3: Opposite? And the way in the way that we think

408
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 3: opposite and the way that we grew up and things

409
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 3: like that. Like my thought, boss is different to hers.

410
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 3: Her childhood, even though we're even though it was both

411
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 3: dramatica is very different than mine. I I at one

412
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,439
Speaker 3: point wasn't a gang and she was never in a gang.

413
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 3: I sometimes joked that I'm the ghettoest thing that's ever

414
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 3: happened to her.

415
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 1: Bro You're literally John Marston.

416
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much. Hmmm.

417
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: Well, I'm I'm very happy for you, man. I'm very

418
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: happy that it sounds like you've been through a fucking

419
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 1: hell of a lot and it sounds like you sound

420
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,199
Speaker 1: very just not even just your life circumstances, but just

421
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 1: as I'm talking to you in this conversation, you sound

422
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: like you have a very mature outlook on life and

423
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 1: on relationships, and things sound very steady and stable for you.

424
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,119
Speaker 3: I appreciate that.

425
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: All of course, Man, you ever have the chance to

426
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 1: talk about any of this stuff in real therapy?

427
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,880
Speaker 3: Uh No, it's always been too expensive. I've always used

428
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 3: mushrooms is a good way for me to work on

429
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 3: my inner self. I usually just take a really big dose,

430
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 3: and then I understand that the first few hours of

431
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 3: the fun stuff or just strictly for fun, but then

432
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 3: after that it's it's some time for dubious to find

433
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 3: out how dubious works and why he works the way

434
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 3: he works.

435
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: How about how what's a big dose for you.

436
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 3: Today? The biggest does I've taken is fifteen grams.

437
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: Fifteen grams Jesus Christ, Yes, sir, that's I don't think

438
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 1: I've done any more than like three.

439
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 3: I'd like to venture out there.

440
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: Huh. Are you still a pot guy?

441
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: Were you?

442
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: Were you ever like a big pot smoker?

443
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 4: Yeah?

444
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,719
Speaker 3: Always, always, always so am I'm very high right now

445
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 3: while I'm talking to you.

446
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 1: It is it is really. I know we said all right,

447
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: but it is so crazy that people were locked up,

448
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: and I think, are I don't know anything about this

449
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, but are people still locked up for weed?

450
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 3: Uh? And in the states that have legalized it. I

451
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 3: don't think so anymore. I think they're getting out, and

452
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 3: I think they're working on getting those things expunged up

453
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:52,679
Speaker 3: the record.

454
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 1: Let's say you could go back right now and talk

455
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: to your sixteen year old old self, or if there's

456
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: anybody listening to this that maybe was in a similar

457
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 1: is in a similar situation or anything, what would you

458
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 1: say to them.

459
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 3: I would say to maybe change up what you're doing

460
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 3: because it's not going to be nice and long run.

461
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 3: Or I would just go, you're gonna end up being

462
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 3: a great person, bro, keep keep it up. You're doing great.

463
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,159
Speaker 3: M At some sometimes I think about that, and sometimes

464
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 3: I feel like sixture year old me would want to

465
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 3: beat up thirt year old me and think, why are

466
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 3: we such a bitch? What happened along the way? Why

467
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 3: are we like this? Another part of me would just

468
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 3: think that it would work out and here to go,

469
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 3: Holy shit, you're a lot different I like this.

470
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,919
Speaker 1: You what do you think has been the most difficult

471
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: thing in this process of maturation that you've gone through?

472
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 3: The hardest thing was letting go of bad things that

473
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 3: happened to me. I used to always blame the world

474
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 3: for everything else going on, and I realized now that

475
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 3: it was a lot of it was my fault. I

476
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 3: put myself in a lot of bad situations, and I

477
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 3: wouldn't feel the way or be the way that I

478
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 3: am now if I just not put myself in those situations.

479
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 1: This might be a tough one. And and I hope

480
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: it's not out of place to ask or anything like that,

481
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: But do you have you ever or do you think

482
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: you would ever get to a place where you would

483
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,400
Speaker 1: forgive your father for any of the stuff he's put

484
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: you through.

485
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 3: I'm trying to That's what I'm looking on right now.

486
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 3: I'm trying to work on letting go of that. That

487
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 3: one down is by far the biggest one I have.

488
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: Do you talk to your siblings about him at all

489
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: and get their perspective on it? And if you do,

490
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: is that helpful?

491
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 3: Yeah? I do get the perspective. As far as it

492
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 3: being helpful, No, Because my dad was an asshole to

493
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 3: all of us. So we're all in our feelings about

494
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,360
Speaker 3: it up to a certain extent, and all of us

495
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 3: only see it a certain way. And even though they're

496
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 3: older than me, I still see that they're very bothered

497
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 3: by the pain that he calls to them. So even

498
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 3: though I feel like I'm working through mind, I can't

499
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 3: really expect him to work through theirs. They see how

500
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 3: they see it. My dad sold one of my brothers,

501
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 3: and he thinks that he would have had a better

502
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 3: life with my dad instead of being sold and having

503
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 3: a good life with the parents that he grew up with.

504
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 1: W I'm so sorry you said your brother thinks he

505
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: would have had a better life. Your brother would have

506
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 1: had a better life staying with your dad instead of

507
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: being sold.

508
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 3: Yes, And the rest of us are like, no, no,

509
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 3: we all would have wanted to get sold rather than

510
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 3: stay home with him.

511
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 1: M Well, man, it's such a it's such a cool

512
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:18,160
Speaker 1: thing that you're you're at a place right now where

513
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 1: you have healthy relationships with people and you have the

514
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: opportunity as a father to be a good dad, you know,

515
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: to like be the kind of dad that your dad wasn't.

516
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're really there to make the

517
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 1: most out of that opportunity. And I find that very

518
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: admirable because there's a lot of people who unfortunately get

519
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,959
Speaker 1: trapped in like that cycle, right of, like, you know,

520
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,199
Speaker 1: my life was shitty and so I'm gonna make my

521
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 1: kids life shitty and so on and so forth, And

522
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 1: I know it must take a lot of time and

523
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 1: energy and thoughtfulness to break that and to become the

524
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 1: kind of person that you are today. So fucking good

525
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: on you, sir.

526
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 3: Thanks man. It's really hard. It's really hard. It's hard

527
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 3: to be a good yet or whenever you didn't have one.

528
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 3: Sometimes my son will ask me why I'm such a

529
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 3: good dad, and it's weird because I'll be like, I

530
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 3: don't know, man, I've never had a good one. The

531
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 3: only reason I know how to be a good one

532
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 3: is because I talk a bunch of TV dads and ship.

533
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 3: I feel like you.

534
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: Learned how to read dad at who's your favorite TV.

535
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 2: Dad by far?

536
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 3: Probably Uncle Phil?

537
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: Mm. Yeah, and he's not even a dad, he's an uncle.

538
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 3: Well I mean, yeah, yeah, but what he did for

539
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 3: was really awesome. He was there him a lot more

540
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 3: than his actual dad was.

541
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: And yeah, mhm, what's your name again, Dubious?

542
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 3: Yeah?

543
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 1: Have you always gone by Dubious?

544
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 3: Uh no, No, it's just a game with my Xbox name,

545
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 3: So I just it's a nice name. I just I

546
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 3: go by that whenever I can.

547
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 1: What do you play on Xbox?

548
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 3: Mainly Call of Duty? I play Wars on the lot.

549
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: Do you ever play Grand Theft Auto?

550
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 3: I do ye?

551
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: Do the do the Do the drug dealers in Grand

552
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: Theft Auto talk anything like real drug dealers?

553
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 3: No? Uh? Sometimes like online Gerald, that guy he kind

554
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 3: of talks like a real dealer, but the other one's

555
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 3: kind of a little different. I guess maybe because Jerald

556
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 3: the way the only kind of dealer that I kind

557
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 3: of dealt with, like even whenever I would go into

558
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 3: Mexico and stuff to go get things. Uh, there was

559
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 3: one guy that I always spoke very well English there

560
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 3: while the other ones did the one mm.

561
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 1: Hmmm, Dubious, Man, is there any other Like? First of all,

562
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 1: thanks so much for coming on here and talking to

563
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 1: me about all this stuff. I hope it was like

564
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: a good experience for you. I don't know how much

565
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: you like.

566
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 3: Okay, it was. Man, I'm a huge fan. I'm a

567
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 3: huge fan Oh yeah. OK.

568
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 1: Is there any other aspect of any of this that

569
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: you would want to talk about or anything else you

570
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: want to say?

571
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 3: Hmmm? Probably that drug dealing isn't all that it's looking

572
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 3: up to be. All that I'm left now is I

573
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 3: don't have anything to show for it besides a bunch

574
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 3: of half ass stories that people probably don't even believe.

575
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: What's your favorite half assed story that people don't believe.

576
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 3: Let's see, one time I went to go pick up

577
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 3: and I believe there was like one hundred pounds of

578
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 3: Mexican brickweed, and to me at that time was I

579
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 3: was like, this is really fucking cool. This is dope

580
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 3: for me. And the guy that I picked it up

581
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 3: from was like, Hey, I'm just gonna put these in

582
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 3: your trunk and I was like, whoa, bro, I got

583
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 3: to go back to the border with this. He was like,

584
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: it's totally fine. Before you called me to the call

585
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 3: before you get to the border, call me and I'll

586
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 3: let you know what lane to get into. And he

587
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 3: I called him. He told me the lane to go

588
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 3: to and the guy just passing by, he walked up

589
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 3: to my window and he said, are you so and so?

590
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,479
Speaker 3: And I was like, yes, I am. He's like, are

591
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 3: you so and so his friend? I was like, I

592
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 3: am so and so it's friend and he's like all right,

593
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 3: go ahead. And then I passed with one hundred pounds

594
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: of Mexican brickweed in my trunk and I felt like

595
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,959
Speaker 3: the biggest thing ever with that. I was like, this

596
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 3: is so cool.

597
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: Holy shit. Wait this was to a border agent guy.

598
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, shit.

599
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was probably be paid off or threatened to

600
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 1: buy cartels or some shit.

601
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I don't I don't know. I don't know

602
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 3: if any of the people that I got from work cartoons.

603
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 3: But I knew that it was a good discount. I

604
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 3: was paying ten dollars for one pound of weed.

605
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: Is that that sounds like a that sounds like a

606
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: pretty good discount.

607
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 3: Indeed it is. I guess back then one pound was

608
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 3: going for five hundred dollars in my area, so for

609
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 3: me to drive out there and get it for ten

610
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 3: dollars was a steal.

611
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 1: Do you ever talk about any of this stuff? Would

612
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: you ever do? Like, uh, I don't know, I don't know.

613
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

614
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: How often do you get to like talk about this

615
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 1: stuff or or or shot stories?

616
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 3: Not that much? Not that much. I talk about it

617
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 3: with my friends every time that they ask and stuff.

618
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 3: But no, not really.

619
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: For uh oh go ahead, no, you go ahead. I

620
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: was just gonna say thanks again for for coming on

621
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: and talking and you know, when when you you you you,

622
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: I want you to enjoy getting high, being a father,

623
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: and playing video games and exactly that art. Take care

624
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: of dubius. Thanks for calling.

625
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 3: Them YouTube man, stick you out?

626
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, what's up? Man?

627
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 4: My god?

628
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 2: Is this lyld?

629
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 4: That's crazy?

630
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 1: Yeah? What's up?

631
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 2: Is this? Nick?

632
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 4: This is Yeah? This is Nick here.

633
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 1: Nick. You texted me and you said my name is Nick.

634
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five. I want to talk about sacrificing my

635
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: childhood for rock and roll. What does that mean? Right?

636
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 2: Man?

637
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 4: Well, I grew up starting like pretty young, playing music

638
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 4: and kind of did that my whole childhood instead of

639
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 4: doing like the normal thing, having friends and doing that

640
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 4: kind of shit.

641
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 1: So I guess you were playing Betterham Rock while everyone

642
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 1: else was playing Call of Duty Zombies.

643
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's right.

644
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 4: I mean we played a little zombies in there too

645
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 4: before practice. But yeah, our practice schedule was pretty rigorous.

646
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 4: We would do about like five days a week, and

647
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,879
Speaker 4: with our first guitarist that actually got to the point

648
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 4: where he left the band because he felt I think

649
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 4: he felt maybe he was losing a bit. Is that

650
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 4: that feeling from childhood, like actually getting to hang out

651
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 4: with people and do stuff after school with your friends

652
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 4: instead of just get done to school, go practice for

653
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 4: three or four hours, and then go home, do your homework,

654
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 4: and then do it all again the next day.

655
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 1: And this is throughout middle school and high school.

656
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, we started this band, and I'll just keep the

657
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,879
Speaker 4: name under wraps and whatnot, but we started this band

658
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 4: in like elementary it was probably fifth or sixth grade,

659
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 4: and we kept that band going all the way through

660
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 4: high school. But it was a couple of different guitarists

661
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 4: throughout that time. But we had a couple really amazing

662
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 4: experiences that we got to do. We got to open

663
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 4: up for some some big name groups and you know,

664
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 4: play all over a couple of summers. We were just

665
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 4: lined up every weekend with gigs and that was just

666
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 4: a cool feeling. Instead of going to I don't know,

667
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 4: parties and shit, we just we played at the parties.

668
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 4: I guess.

669
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

670
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: It's fun though, man, that really is, because I think

671
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: there's something at least in my personal life. I always

672
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: felt like there's something about combining your work or no

673
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 1: I'm not not even like work, but like any kind

674
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 1: of like active creation or pursuit with your social life.

675
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: So like I assume after you played at these parties,

676
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: you then went and enjoyed the party, and the party

677
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: was now was now better for you because you were

678
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: the cool guitar guy up front.

679
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 4: You know, that was that was always the thing you

680
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 4: kind of hoped for.

681
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 3: But I feel like.

682
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 4: Because I never really hung out with a lot of people,

683
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:29,280
Speaker 4: my social like my feeling of wanting to be social

684
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 4: with people wasn't as as out there. So when the

685
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 4: gig was done, I just kind of enjoyed packing up,

686
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 4: you know, getting paid, and then heading home because we

687
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 4: had to probably wake up early for school the next

688
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,359
Speaker 4: day or get ready for practice or another gig. And

689
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 4: so it wasn't really the whole the nine yards of

690
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,760
Speaker 4: like the sex, drugs and rock and roll, because we're

691
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 4: just kids at that time, and I mean we're pretty

692
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 4: I don't want to say like goodie two shoes or anything,

693
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 4: but we just didn't get too crazy in the drugs

694
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 4: or anything like that, which I'm grateful for.

695
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 1: Do you really feel like you missed out on your childhood?

696
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: What specifically do you feel like you missed out on.

697
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 5: I feel like I really missed out on just making

698
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 5: connections with people. Say when you go and see a band,

699
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 5: or you're at a party and you're hanging out with

700
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 5: people listening to the music. I was instead the person

701
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 5: on stage, and so I didn't really make those connections

702
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 5: where I thought I could have. And then as well

703
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 5: as just how often we practice, you know, I had.

704
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 4: The close friend as our guitarist and then the bassist,

705
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 4: but beyond that, it was just kind of I didn't

706
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 4: really hang out with anybody. And I don't necessarily blame

707
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 4: rock and roll, but I feel like I did sacrifice

708
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 4: it for the rock and roll in a sense. It

709
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 4: was just a path that I chose to take.

710
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,439
Speaker 1: Were you close friends with the other people in the band?

711
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Oh yeah, we were very tight. I mean

712
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:09,959
Speaker 4: we still are to this day too.

713
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: So look, man, I don't know, I mean it's very

714
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: there's a funny thing where there's a tradition. There's this

715
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: idea of what a traditional college or high school experience

716
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: looks like, right, Like it's some kind of John Hughes

717
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: movie where everyone's getting laid all the time and getting

718
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: high and has this big group of friends and whatnot.

719
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: And I don't know if that exists. I think everyone well,

720
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't exist by nature, because there's no

721
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 1: true collective experience. You just have what you Everyone just

722
00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 1: has individually whatever happened to them and for you. At

723
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: least from my perspective, it sounds like it sounds to

724
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: me like you did what, in my opinion, is the

725
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 1: best coolest thing to do, which is to go fuck

726
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:18,720
Speaker 1: all of that, Fuck the theater club, fuck the football games.

727
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna carve out my own personal lane and I'm

728
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 1: gonna do my thing and better. Yet, you know, it's

729
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: not like you're, I mean, dude, you know, doing this

730
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: with your best friends. It's like, I'm gonna do my

731
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: thing with my friends, and that's the best thing you

732
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 1: could do. That that's a little bit like I feel

733
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 1: like what I did. You know, I was doing stand

734
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 1: up as a kid when I was like sixteen, and

735
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: my friends and I were making movies and I didn't

736
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: go to clubs or like big crazy parties or whatever.

737
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: I had my friends and I had my own world,

738
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: my own lane. Yeah, and it sounds like, you know,

739
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:01,720
Speaker 1: it's like that's what you had.

740
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, And like, now that I'm really thinking about it,

741
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 4: I think there may have been some sort of as

742
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 4: a child, at least, some sort of expectations that I

743
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 4: felt like I needed to have for a childhood. You know,

744
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 4: there's an expectation that I was hoping to meet, maybe

745
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 4: in terms of some social goals, you know, having a

746
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 4: circle of friends or whatnot. But then when I really

747
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 4: look at it, I had my circle. It was just

748
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 4: a lot smaller than maybe I intended it to be

749
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 4: as a kid. And so it's a really solid point

750
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 4: to where, oh man, very few like I was. I

751
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 4: kind of knew everybody, of course because I was in

752
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 4: the band. Everybody knew me as a guy that was

753
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 4: in the band, But I didn't really fuck with anybody

754
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 4: because I just didn't fit in where I grew up necessarily.

755
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 4: And so I had probably the two guys in the

756
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 4: band with me, and then outside that maybe two three

757
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 4: people that I could consider friends.

758
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 1: It's a blessing. I mean, friendship is not about quantity.

759
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: Have you ever thought about it? You ever go to

760
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 1: I do this all the time. I'll go to if

761
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 1: you want to feel better about your life, go on

762
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: and reddit and go to r slash forever alone. You

763
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: ever do that?

764
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 2: I don't know if I've been on that one.

765
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: No, it's I mean, it's it's macabre. But you go

766
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: on there and you're like, oh shit, it's sick having

767
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: three friends. Some people have no some people have no

768
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: for like literally, eazy.

769
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 4: That's a great point. You need to be grateful for

770
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 4: what you have, no matter what it is.

771
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 1: M M, what do you do now?

772
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 2: Right now?

773
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:45,800
Speaker 4: I'm like a server, bartender, cook kind.

774
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 2: Of the works.

775
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 1: Are you still playing music?

776
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I do a lot of.

777
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 4: My own, like like on the side kind of music

778
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 4: production where I make my own songs and put them

779
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 4: out under a certain name.

780
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: I have to ask our are you withholding them? And

781
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 1: you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to,

782
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 1: but are you withholding the name of the band? Because

783
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: it's a prominent band, like when people know what the

784
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 1: band is.

785
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 4: At least in the area.

786
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were. We played around quite a bit, like I.

787
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 4: Don't know just all in the area that we did play.

788
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 4: We played a lot, and so people kind of knew

789
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 4: us as that band and I'm not trying to dock

790
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 4: myself as well. I just especially with like when it

791
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 4: comes to my own music I put out today, it's

792
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 4: not really about trying to get big or trying to

793
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 4: really make money off of it or get people to

794
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 4: know my name. It's more so I just really enjoy

795
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 4: the creative aspect of it, the emotional release aspect of it,

796
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 4: just kind of getting those feelings out through a different

797
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 4: medium of art. And it's something that's just like really

798
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 4: personal to me, but not in a way that I

799
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 4: don't want people to hear it. But you know, there's

800
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 4: a time and a place, and I just don't think

801
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 4: I'm ready for like a large following. I feel like

802
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:04,879
Speaker 4: I need to get some more emotional and mental shit

803
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,280
Speaker 4: unlock before I start to get a following on anything.

804
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 1: That's a very emotionally intelligent move, because you could just

805
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 1: be completely hungry for money and fame and have it

806
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: destroy your general life sense of well being. You could

807
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: how's your general life sense of well being?

808
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 4: I think it's pretty good. I mean, like define that question.

809
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 4: I get maybe I'm not understanding though.

810
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: How you doing?

811
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 2: Oh I'm doing good, man.

812
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 4: I got out of a relationship pretty recently, and that

813
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 4: was a weight off the chest, to say the least.

814
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 4: You know, and two people just armade for each other

815
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 4: and you choose to stay together, it goes downhill. And

816
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,720
Speaker 4: so I got myself out of that situation and moved

817
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 4: moved away from that area because I did move away

818
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 4: from my home for a little bit.

819
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 2: But now I'm.

820
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 4: Back in that area somewhat and I'm living life having

821
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 4: a good time doing it.

822
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 1: Do you still play with your friends that you played

823
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 1: within in elementary school?

824
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 4: No, I really wish we did, but we've just kind

825
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:30,280
Speaker 4: of gone our separate ways since then, I think about

826
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:34,399
Speaker 4: I don't want to say, probably like three years ago

827
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 4: we stopped playing just because distance issues and whatnot.

828
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,800
Speaker 1: Are they still playing music?

829
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 4: As far as I know one of them is. He

830
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 4: also puts out music kind of on his own, just

831
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 4: as for the same reason that I do. And then

832
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 4: the other one, I don't think he plays music as

833
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 4: much anymore. Job is pretty demanding for what he does,

834
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 4: so he just doesn't have the time.

835
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: Do you have well, Okay, so in high school and

836
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 1: college you said you didn't have that many friends aside

837
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 1: from your bandmates, But do you feel like you have

838
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: friends now.

839
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 4: Sort of. Yeah, there's a it's funny this, you know,

840
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 4: A couple of those people from back then. It's those

841
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 4: are the same people that I still consider friends, and

842
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 4: I think to this day, I still have a little

843
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 4: bit of a hard time just getting out there and

844
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,359
Speaker 4: making friends, meeting new people or just I don't know,

845
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 4: I do find comfort in being by myself at this

846
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 4: point in life. And I mean I'm not even that old,

847
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 4: of course, but I don't know, I definitely just store

848
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 4: that that social battery when I'm I'm by myself. You know,

849
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 4: I'm around too many people for too long, I just

850
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 4: get really worn out. I guess I don't really try

851
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 4: to meet new people anymore.

852
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 1: Hmm. Yeah, it's difficult. It's difficult. That's one of the

853
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 1: cool things. I mean, that's one of the cool things

854
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: I feel like about having a hobby like music, where

855
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 1: you know, like we were talking about, your work can

856
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 1: also be a social thing. I don't know if you.

857
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 2: Gig anymore, but oh I wish.

858
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, you ever thought about doing that.

859
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:17,919
Speaker 2: I have.

860
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've considered it, thinking like I just need to

861
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 4: get a certain amount of songs and I could just

862
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 4: go do some opening shows for some people or something

863
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 4: like that, and that would be really fun, or even

864
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 4: just an open mic or something. Shit, I don't even

865
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 4: need a full set.

866
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,280
Speaker 1: What do you make music about? These days?

867
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 4: I try to write music about whatever I'm kind of

868
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 4: feeling in the moment.

869
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 2: You know.

870
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:46,240
Speaker 4: I've got some music that is, you know, really happy

871
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 4: summer vibes, kind of like put you in the mood

872
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 4: to have a good time, be on the beach and shit.

873
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 4: And then I got some stuff that just gives you

874
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 4: the stank face, like some underground wrap and just kind

875
00:46:56,160 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 4: of like some bars, you know. So it's really big

876
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 4: variety of types of music that I write about.

877
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 1: What do you rap about?

878
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 2: Oh man?

879
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 4: My first song that I ever put out was a

880
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 4: rap song, and I refused to put it out on

881
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 4: like real platforms anymore, but just because it was a

882
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 4: it was a mean song. It was a rap Like

883
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 4: I I got in a in a relationship at a

884
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 4: young age and thought that this would be a good

885
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 4: expression of that. And like Taylor Swiss Vibes, No No Hate.

886
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 1: Oh you did you did a disrap against the.

887
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 3: X I did?

888
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 2: It was?

889
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 4: It was really mean and immature of me, and so

890
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 4: at that point I was writing about like it was

891
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 4: like a journal that I was putting out into the

892
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 4: world with a beat. But then after that I just

893
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 4: started writing about like this, I don't know, just happy ship,

894
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,919
Speaker 4: seeing this looking at the sun.

895
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: That's that's nice if you it's fine, it's nice of

896
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: you to look back on it and go like you know,

897
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 1: it's as if you'll look back on it and go like, ah,

898
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 1: that was kind of you know, maybe I shouldn't have

899
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: written such a yeah, because when you think about Taylor

900
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 1: Swift and Olivia Rodrigo, they don't do that at all.

901
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 1: They're like, fuck this guy, and I want literally one

902
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 1: billion people to know it.

903
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:20,799
Speaker 3: Yeah.

904
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 2: I don't know. I just can't feel that.

905
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 4: I don't I don't like putting people in the spotlight

906
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 4: because I know I don't.

907
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 2: Like being in the spotlight as much.

908
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 4: Sure, as weird as that is coming from from being

909
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 4: in this on the stage and whatnot.

910
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 1: Hmm, what's next for you? What's your name again? Nick?

911
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:38,239
Speaker 3: My name is Nick.

912
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what's next, man.

913
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 4: I've just been enjoying life, being being independent, trying to

914
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 4: gain that independence back and find myself again, you know,

915
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 4: just trying to only be better than the person that

916
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 4: I was yesterday. If I can do that, I'm having

917
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:56,439
Speaker 4: a pretty good day.

918
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: I like that, can I Before we go? Do you

919
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 1: have any bars that you could spit for us?

920
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:13,759
Speaker 4: No, it's one of those. I'm very shitty at freestyle too,

921
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 4: and that's one of those one of those things I

922
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 4: really want to get better at, because in a time

923
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 4: like this, how cool would that be if I dismissed

924
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 4: some ship and you're like, okay.

925
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,760
Speaker 1: I you know I kind of I kind of knew

926
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: before I asked you that it would it would be

927
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: a no from you. But I did have to drunk.

928
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, you kind of you got that feeling. But yeah,

929
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 4: one of these days, you're gonna You're gonna know the

930
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,839
Speaker 4: name someday and then I'll hit you up and say, hey,

931
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 4: you remember that time that you had the call with

932
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,919
Speaker 4: the dude named Nick? And then you're gonna say, yeah,

933
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 4: of course I remember that exact Nick.

934
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 1: I would love to get a voice message from I

935
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 1: would love to get a voice memo from you in

936
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 1: the DMS being like, hey man, I've come to redeem

937
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,480
Speaker 1: myself and then you just send me like a minute

938
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: of fantastic freestyle rap.

939
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 2: Do that get to that point, send it to you. You

940
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,160
Speaker 2: can put it on whatever the heck you want, or

941
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 2: just be for you and me. Either way that'd make

942
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 2: me happy.

943
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: Nick, Is there anything else you want to say to

944
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 1: the people the computer before we go?

945
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 2: Oh? Man, fuck the computer. But I love the people. Man,

946
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 2: take care, dude, take care. I love you.

947
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 1: Get nick Nick? Nick? I liked what he ended with,

948
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 1: fuck the computer. I don't like the computer. I don't

949
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:31,360
Speaker 1: like being on the computer. I know I'm on the

950
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 1: computer right now, but I was thinking about that, Like,

951
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: you know, it must have been so fun being like

952
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 1: like a music rock and roll touring person back in

953
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 1: the eighties or something like that, where you didn't there

954
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 1: was no Instagram posting whatever the fuck thing. I mean,

955
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 1: these tools they are double edged swords because on one hand,

956
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: the computer has enabled lots of people to pursue things

957
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: they wouldn't be able to pursue otherwise, such as being

958
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: a therapy gecko. But the other hand, oh my god,

959
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 1: why am I scrolling through Facebook at three pm? I

960
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 1: need to go look at some trees. Hey guys, it's

961
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: Lyle here. I'm about to do some ad reads. But

962
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:25,359
Speaker 1: if you're a premium member of the podcast, you will

963
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 1: not hear them. Premium members, or gek Legends, as I

964
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 1: like to call them, get access to every episode of

965
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 1: this podcast ad free. They also get bonus episodes, recordings

966
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 1: for my live shows, members only streams, and they support

967
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 1: my ability to keep doing this show for a long time,

968
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 1: do it in cooler, more interesting places, and also eat food,

969
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 1: which is important. If any of that sounds cool to you,

970
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 1: you can go to Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com

971
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 1: to become a gek Legend, or find the link in

972
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: the episode description. All right, let's do some ads. Call

973
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:11,959
Speaker 1: from Big Dog Concrete and Landscaping. Hello, Hey, Hey, how's

974
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 1: it going.

975
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 6: It's going pretty okay. How's you're doing?

976
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: I'm hanging in there. What's your name?

977
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 4: My name's Nick.

978
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: Nick. What's happening? Nick?

979
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 3: What?

980
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 2: Uh?

981
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 1: Let's see your caller ID. I don't usually read caller ID,

982
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 1: but I mean it says. It says that you're a

983
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 1: landscaping company. You called me from the Big Dog Concrete

984
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 1: and Landscaping Company phone line.

985
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's I got a new number recently and the

986
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 6: call ID hasn't changed, so everyone sees I'm actually a

987
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 6: Big Dog Nick.

988
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 1: Now, wait, so you are not. You don't own a

989
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 1: landscaping company.

990
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 6: No, No, I don't. That's just the name that came

991
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 6: with my caller ID. I don't know why it hasn't

992
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 6: changed over. I got the number through MIT Mobile like

993
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,760
Speaker 6: months ago. It just still shows it for some reason.

994
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 1: Well, that's cool. You got a new phone number and

995
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 1: a landscaping company. That's a good Well what's up? Nick?

996
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:20,760
Speaker 1: Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about today?

997
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 6: Not too much. I'm taking a new medicine today, so

998
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 6: I'm like, I feel I'm strange, Shay, getting new perspective,

999
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 6: starting school back again.

1000
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: What are you doing in school?

1001
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 6: I did never finish high school. I ended up dropping

1002
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 6: out when I was seventeen. I think because I grew

1003
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 6: up in a bad household. And it's been years and

1004
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 6: I'm finally getting back to it.

1005
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 1: You doing like a ged.

1006
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 6: No, I'm doing a high school credit recovery because I

1007
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 6: learned only had three credits left when I left. It

1008
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 6: was during COVID, so I didn't know if they pushed

1009
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 6: me through the classes, which turned out they did, or

1010
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 6: I was going to graduate early. But I know any

1011
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 6: of that. All I did we were online. So you're

1012
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 6: doing it through the computer, and I just stopped showing

1013
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 6: up during them when I moved and then uh, one

1014
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 6: of my family members went and dropped off the computer.

1015
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 1: So you're kind of pulling a Billy Madison.

1016
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, a little bit.

1017
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 1: Are you are you? Do you go to a high

1018
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: school and you're like with a bunch of high school

1019
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: kids or is it like you're with a bunch of

1020
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 1: other adults who are doing the same program.

1021
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 6: No, it's adult ed and it's online, So I'm at

1022
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 6: home with a computer that they issue out.

1023
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: Basically, do you get to play games on the computer

1024
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 1: or is it just school?

1025
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 3: Just school?

1026
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 6: But I have a computer for that anyway.

1027
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 1: How old are you now?

1028
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 6: I'm twenty one?

1029
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 1: Okay? Nice? What do you do sort of around that?

1030
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: Do you have any anything else going on?

1031
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 6: I make art and stuff, but like I said, take

1032
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 6: a new medicine. Say so, I haven't been motivated to

1033
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 6: do anything, so I've been trying to get back into

1034
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 6: that because I do digital art. I do a little

1035
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 6: bit of mixed media, and I have a violin. I've

1036
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 6: played it for years, but I just haven't felt like

1037
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,399
Speaker 6: picking it up and actually playing music again.

1038
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm. Have you made any friends in these high

1039
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 1: school classes?

1040
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 6: Not yet?

1041
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 2: Not yet.

1042
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 1: What do you hope to do after you're done with

1043
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 1: these classes?

1044
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 6: Well, I'm hoping to go to art school or go

1045
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 6: to school for something that can be useful. I haven't

1046
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 6: thought about college too much. I know I have a

1047
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 6: couple of friends that went to art school, and a

1048
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 6: lot of people have mixed views on it if it's

1049
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 6: something that you can use afterwards, but it's just something

1050
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 6: I enjoy doing.

1051
00:55:58,280 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 1: Well. I don't know how much you've listened to me

1052
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 1: talk gone here, but I I are you. Would you

1053
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:04,319
Speaker 1: take out debt to go there?

1054
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 4: Well?

1055
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 6: With the student aid we have, I only grew up

1056
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 6: with one parent, and uh, they'd cover a lot of it,

1057
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,799
Speaker 6: but I'd feel bad. I'd say if I use my

1058
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 6: one chance to go with relatively less debt on something

1059
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 6: like art college. So it's been way a little bit.

1060
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,279
Speaker 1: How much debt is relatively less debt? This is not

1061
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 1: a financial podcast, but I do enjoy having these conversations.

1062
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 1: How much debt is not a lot of debt?

1063
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,799
Speaker 6: I'd say five thousand under I know I could get

1064
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:46,799
Speaker 6: that and about like a small short of short range.

1065
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 6: But if it's way way up there then it'd be

1066
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,320
Speaker 6: too much. I know, like probably less than ten thousand.

1067
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 6: Actually it doesn't.

1068
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 1: Right, it would car maybe all right, so it would

1069
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 1: be about ten thousand dollars, like for all four years

1070
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars, yeah, or for.

1071
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 6: Like two years bachelors or associates, whichever I.

1072
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 4: End up doing.

1073
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean that's not terrible. What's your ultimate goal

1074
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 1: with with art?

1075
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 6: Well, I thought about doing graphic design some and then

1076
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 6: I've thought about doing animation, and I've also thought about

1077
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 6: doing like character design.

1078
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean, I'm I'm severe. I'm very anti college

1079
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 1: when it comes to things where you don't need to

1080
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 1: go to school for them. If you if they're paying

1081
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 1: off like one hundred percent of your college and you

1082
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 1: could get a scholarship, then I think that would be sick.

1083
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:44,040
Speaker 1: But with ten thousand dollars, I mean, you can get

1084
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 1: and you can get the full Adobe suites, you can

1085
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 1: go to I think it's I want to say it's

1086
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 1: Lydia dot com or something like that where you can

1087
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 1: go get all these very comprehensive Adobe tutorials. You don't

1088
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 1: even you don't even need to you don't even need

1089
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 1: to like buy a class or anything. Is everything you

1090
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: would ever need to know about how to use those

1091
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 1: programs is on YouTube. And then on the way to that,

1092
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 1: you can create a digital portfolio on the internet and

1093
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 1: then through that start getting you know, commissions for work

1094
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:24,440
Speaker 1: and whatnot. So I just when it comes to these things,

1095
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 1: I'm a big proponent of trying to do it on

1096
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 1: your own as opposed to institutionally. Everyone is different, and

1097
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 1: you know, look, I didn't go to art school. I

1098
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: didn't you know, do any of these things. I've only done,

1099
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 1: you know what I do, So I don't have the

1100
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 1: full scope of it. But just when when I think

1101
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 1: about taking out like ten thousand dollars in debt, I'm like,

1102
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's so many things that you can

1103
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: do with that money. And the thing about college is

1104
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 1: that it's just it's appealing because it's like what everyone does. Yeah,

1105
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:03,400
Speaker 1: and it's a very very like classic next step. But

1106
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 1: the universe has changed so much drastically. Yeah.

1107
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that's what stopt me from getting back to

1108
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 6: school and stuff. So I'm like, I feel the same

1109
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 6: way kind of. I'm like, I it's something I'd like

1110
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 6: to do, but at the same time, I'm like, I

1111
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 6: could probably get a degree where like something, I see

1112
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 6: what it's called. It's it was sometimes technician I was

1113
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 6: thinking about in like medical. I'm like, I can try that.

1114
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 6: But that's what I've been doing lately with I'm mostly

1115
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 6: self taught. I've learned most of what I've known through

1116
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 6: other animators on YouTube and stuff, or other people on

1117
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 6: Twitch who do art and stuff.

1118
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 1: Right, so, I don't know, it's your life. I don't

1119
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 1: want to tell you what to do, but I think

1120
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 1: I think today it's probably the best idea to learn

1121
00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 1: that stuff on the internet. And then I mean, well

1122
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,480
Speaker 1: a medical technician. That's different because if you want to

1123
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 1: ever do that, you have to go to school, which

1124
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: is good.

1125
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 4: You know.

1126
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm a big I've always said this. I think you

1127
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 1: can learn anything on YouTube. I would definitely hire an

1128
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: artist who learned how to make really good art on YouTube.

1129
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: I don't know yet if I would hire the YouTube doctor.

1130
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 1: I'm sure you could.

1131
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:18,479
Speaker 3: You could.

1132
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 1: Probably you probably could learn how to do heart surgery

1133
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 1: on YouTube. I don't know right now. One day information

1134
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 1: will be so free and accessible that you will be

1135
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 1: able to learn how to do heart surgery on YouTube.

1136
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 1: But for now, I prefer if I were doing, if

1137
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,160
Speaker 1: I were going under for heart surgery, that my heart

1138
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 1: surgeon have gone to an accredited university. So, you know,

1139
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: but good, good, good for you. I'm glad to hear

1140
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 1: that you got out of whatever shitty thing was going

1141
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 1: on in your childhood and you're trying to you know,

1142
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 1: improve your life. That's a that's a wonderful thing.

1143
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you. It's taken a lot to get to

1144
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 6: the point where I am thankful for the opportunities I'm

1145
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 6: coming across.

1146
01:00:58,080 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you wanted to say or talk

1147
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:00,560
Speaker 1: about before we go?

1148
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 6: H I appreciate you missing your podcast. I've watched it

1149
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 6: for like a couple like two years now, I think,

1150
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 6: and it's got me through some tough times last year.

1151
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, thank you, Nick. I'm glad. I'm always wondering

1152
01:01:13,280 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 1: if anyone's listening to this fucking thing. So I appreciate it,

1153
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you again, maybe never, but it

1154
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 1: was good talking to you in this one particular moment.

1155
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's good talking to you too. Have a great

1156
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:26,840
Speaker 6: gust to your day.

1157
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:32,280
Speaker 1: Gek YouTube, Nick, Thank you, all right, goodbye, Hello folks,

1158
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 1: it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But

1159
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 1: get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right,

1160
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:46,200
Speaker 1: a bonus episode, an entire extra hour of the podcast

1161
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 1: that you can listen to. By becoming a premium member

1162
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:54,760
Speaker 1: of Therapy Gecko over at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com.

1163
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 1: Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes, They get a

1164
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 1: completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show, they

1165
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 1: get recordings from my live shows, members only streams, access

1166
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: to the exclusive Gek Legends discord, and they help support

1167
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 1: my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a

1168
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 1: clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

1169
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:20,840
Speaker 7: I've been having an issue lately. I started a new

1170
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:23,320
Speaker 7: job this year, and the problem I'm having is I'm

1171
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 7: meeting a lot of new people and I kind of

1172
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 7: know that I'm not going to like really hang out

1173
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 7: with these people beyond the work life, and so I

1174
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,880
Speaker 7: don't really know how to talk to them. I'm having

1175
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:39,520
Speaker 7: a hard time like socializing properly. I think I think

1176
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:42,400
Speaker 7: people think maybe I'm like weird or too focused on

1177
01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 7: work because I don't really know what else to start

1178
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:47,840
Speaker 7: up conversations about do.

1179
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,080
Speaker 1: You feel like your curiosity and other people has like

1180
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 1: uh waned as you've gotten older.

1181
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 7: It has waned pretty far.

1182
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:57,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1183
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 1: If you want to hear this full conversation, you can

1184
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:02,760
Speaker 1: sign up to become a premium member at Therapy Gecko

1185
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 1: dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the

1186
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: episode description. That's Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,

1187
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:17,520
Speaker 1: I have nothing else to say. There goes on the line,

1188
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 1: taking your phone calls every night, therapy can goes to

1189
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:24,960
Speaker 1: a ride. He's teaching you aloud every life, but he's

1190
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 1: not really an expert.