Speaker 1: The Nicky Gliser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Nick Glasers Nicky, Hello here I am. It's Nicky Glazer podcast.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the show. I'm in Saint Louis with my dogs, dawgs,
Speaker 2: actually my dog's dogs, and my dog Big. Taylor is here. Taylor,
Speaker 2: welcome to the show in studio with me.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: She was over here organizing my She was unpacking for
Speaker 2: me after my two months gone.
Speaker 3: It's only two months.
Speaker 2: Those two months. How many luggages? Three bags? Three and
Speaker 2: then half of another one, So three and a half
Speaker 2: three point five bags. Yeah, a lot. That's not bad.
Speaker 2: She had a lot to sift through. And there's another
Speaker 2: shipment coming. Because the thing that I was filming, I
Speaker 2: got to keep all of the dresses filming the show. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I've been doing this show for many moons and I
Speaker 2: never let me keep anything. This time I got to
Speaker 2: keep everything. Yeah, and so I have lots of dresses
Speaker 2: to wear the weddings, nice mostly and tour clubs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna wear stuff on tour. I'm very excited. But
Speaker 2: it's nothing I can wear my normal life, because I don't.
Speaker 2: I just can't dress like the way I wish I
Speaker 2: could dress. Oh, Anya and Brian and Noah are all
Speaker 2: here as well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I just wish I.
Speaker 2: Could wear like a linen law, like like dress like
Speaker 2: a girl in Beverly Hills that just wears like a
Speaker 2: long linen dress and like some fresh sneakers, and like
Speaker 2: just a simple necklace, Like if I put that on,
Speaker 2: I feel like I was doing cosplay or something. I
Speaker 2: just I have to. I always picture like the people
Speaker 2: like I always picture my I almost said sister in law.
Speaker 2: But if I marry Chris, she will be. She's Chris's
Speaker 2: brother's wife, and she always dresses so impeccably, even when
Speaker 2: she's wearing like Lulu Lemon, like she could wear something
Speaker 2: that I'm wearing, but it just looks like nice on her,
Speaker 2: Like she just wears things and it all fits nice.
Speaker 3: She's not stay clean, No she is.
Speaker 2: Yeah she's not. I think I think you said she's
Speaker 2: not sane. I was like, no, she's very sane. She
Speaker 2: just yees, she's not stained like I was picturing. I
Speaker 2: was like, if she dressed like me, if she was
Speaker 2: wearing this I'm stained fit, what would it look like
Speaker 2: on her? And it would just look different. I just
Speaker 2: carry things differently.
Speaker 4: I think you have your thing though you don't know
Speaker 4: like you have changed. I've known you for a decade
Speaker 4: or more now, and there are so many days that
Speaker 4: I just look at you and I'm like, God, she
Speaker 4: is the it girl and she has no idea. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and I can't even tell you because I've been forbidding.
Speaker 2: Girl, because my hair looks like no.
Speaker 4: No, you just have like you don't even realize it.
Speaker 4: Sometimes when you're just like you throw something on, I'm like,
Speaker 4: how did she do that? Like there was this one
Speaker 4: day on the European tour where you just like showed
Speaker 4: up like fucking pissed or so no, like grumbling in
Speaker 4: the green room, and I was just like, look at
Speaker 4: this bitch in her pleather cool black shorts like some
Speaker 4: weird cute crop top jacket.
Speaker 2: This was to me. I hated that it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: It was all less to me. I didn't pick it out,
Speaker 2: But it does matter. That's my own devices. It would
Speaker 2: not be left to my own devices. I wear tailor
Speaker 2: swift shirts that don't fit and then not put on
Speaker 2: shorts that are also really old from old Navy. Like
Speaker 2: all of my clothes are old.
Speaker 3: They look good on you. You have like you have
Speaker 3: like the grace of a prized pawny. That's so like
Speaker 3: stride when you stride, like I just I am first
Speaker 3: one hunchback cashi. But every time I see you, you
Speaker 3: stride into a room and your clothes is like, hang
Speaker 3: off you. That's really like a mantis with sexy closes.
Speaker 2: I didn't mean for this to be like give me compliments,
Speaker 2: but it does feel really good. Thank you so much, Tailor.
Speaker 4: My girl calling him mantis is such a high earlier and.
Speaker 3: She felt like a like.
Speaker 2: As soon as you saw me? And I was like,
Speaker 2: is she just saying this because she knows on the
Speaker 2: girl's chet that I was crying about being fat.
Speaker 3: I've been on it.
Speaker 2: Really.
Speaker 3: I was telling them I'm kicked off.
Speaker 2: Oh well that actually makes everything better because I go,
Speaker 2: oh my god. She just like I rounded the corner
Speaker 2: and she immediately was like you are little or something,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh god, she's just really saying
Speaker 2: exactly what I want to hear because she knows I
Speaker 2: was sobbing about things I saw in a dressing room
Speaker 2: the other day. I'm not kidding you. This is my
Speaker 2: thought I had that I think is actually really funny.
Speaker 3: In a mirror.
Speaker 2: I know this is really grim, but it's really funny
Speaker 2: to me. I just saw Joe List Special, so maybe
Speaker 2: it's getting in my head. Joe List has a joke
Speaker 2: on a special where he's like, sometimes he sees a
Speaker 2: picture of himself and he's like, I just should just
Speaker 2: kill myself to like, for the betterment of society, Like
Speaker 2: I'm so disgusting looking, And I really related to that.
Speaker 2: And for some reason, Joe can say that everyone laughs
Speaker 2: and doesn't go, no, Joe, you're beautiful, But when a
Speaker 2: woman says that, everyone has to go no, Nikki, you're beautiful.
Speaker 2: And let me just say what I'm about to say
Speaker 2: trigger warning, I'm about to be I'm a skinny woman
Speaker 2: talking about feeling fat. Okay, I am aware that I
Speaker 2: am a thinner woman and that I have thin privilege,
Speaker 2: and that I am talking about how I perceive my body.
Speaker 2: It does not mean that if I see you at
Speaker 2: a meet and greet and you're bigger than me, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be like, she's disgusting and doesn't deserve to live.
Speaker 2: This is a me thing. It's the way we see
Speaker 2: ourselves is different than the way we see others. And
Speaker 2: I know I said last week on the show that
Speaker 2: my mom, the way she talked about her body would
Speaker 2: make me really upset because my mom was so much
Speaker 2: tinier than me, yet she would say she was big,
Speaker 2: and then I would be like, well, what do you
Speaker 2: think about me? So I know I'm being a hypocrite
Speaker 2: and saying that right now, but I will just say
Speaker 2: I struggled last week. I went into a dressing room,
Speaker 2: like knowing I'm bigger, Like I was fine with it,
Speaker 2: Like I know I'm bigger than I was six months ago,
Speaker 2: Like I just know the pants aren't fitting the same way.
Speaker 2: I accept it. I'm fine with it. I just went through.
Speaker 2: I just filmed a bunch of shit, and I was
Speaker 2: like trying to get into I was wanting to be
Speaker 2: a lot thinner than I was for all this, but
Speaker 2: I wasn't. And it's fine, and it's just the way
Speaker 2: it is. And I accepted it. And I really felt
Speaker 2: ready to go in a dressing room, even though I
Speaker 2: never go in dressing rooms ever. I always buy things
Speaker 2: at the store and I take them home and then
Speaker 2: I cry there and like all that abercromy stuff that
Speaker 2: I had you return. I bought that online. It's all
Speaker 2: doesn't fit me. I can't even get it past my neck.
Speaker 2: Like some of the things won't even go on Myercon.
Speaker 3: Base for children though, But I think no, Actually a
Speaker 3: lot of that I saw it was from Abercrombie Children. No,
Speaker 3: it wasn't. That was Happy Kids, And I.
Speaker 2: Was like, no way, okay, that makes me feel better.
Speaker 4: Then I've always run from two thousand and two only
Speaker 4: dress me in Abercrombie Kids.
Speaker 3: Oh baby, what really?
Speaker 4: Yes, you can always be like, let's go to this store.
Speaker 4: It's so fun.
Speaker 2: I was to get like size medium or lar you
Speaker 2: are like Anya has. Sometimes if you're on your lower
Speaker 2: end of your way, you.
Speaker 4: Want in a red T shirt for a ten year
Speaker 4: old with a dog on it. I will show you
Speaker 4: the photo if we wanted to.
Speaker 3: Delia really wanted me was.
Speaker 2: I want to say that Delia's was not sexy, And
Speaker 2: that's what I kind of liked about it. Delia's wasn't sexy.
Speaker 2: It was making girls feel like empowered about being like
Speaker 2: a little tomboyish. And I was remembering Delia's because my
Speaker 2: friends and I were talking about it and one of
Speaker 2: them said, like, it was like or I think, I said,
Speaker 2: I was like they were like sexy babies, and they're like, no,
Speaker 2: they weren't. They were. They weren't wearing. There was no cleavage,
Speaker 2: there was no crop, there was no tummies hanging out.
Speaker 2: It was like col girl.
Speaker 3: They were cash you on purpose. They always had.
Speaker 2: Like like a hard side or they'd be like wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: They were always like screaming or like taking their legs
Speaker 2: like average. Yeah they were. So they were jumping a lot, yes,
Speaker 2: And they were always just like leaning against a wall
Speaker 2: like kind of being like I don't care, like chewing,
Speaker 2: like loitering, constantly loitering at a ball.
Speaker 3: They had to get picked up by the cats.
Speaker 2: So I went into this dressing room at a store
Speaker 2: called and Other Stories, which by the way, I needed
Speaker 2: to return something to it.
Speaker 3: If it starts with and you know, it's not and
Speaker 3: it's Amber Sand like you know.
Speaker 2: So Chris we were we were going there the other
Speaker 2: day and he was like, where are we going? And
Speaker 2: he put it in the ways and I go, it's
Speaker 2: it's called and Other Stories. It's Amber Sand Other Stories.
Speaker 2: So he when we got there, he goes, I typed
Speaker 2: an Ambers other Stories.
Speaker 3: I would like that better.
Speaker 2: So I went to and Other Stories to return something
Speaker 2: like just I was there months ago in Beverly Hills
Speaker 2: game my hair done and I just was really cold.
Speaker 2: So I went into and other stories just to get
Speaker 2: a fucking sweater for dinner, and I picked up a
Speaker 2: couple other things. They were all like yippie skippy hi,
Speaker 2: like people don't know what that means. But when we
Speaker 2: were kids, and there would be like pants that were
Speaker 2: too like short, and they looked like like flooded, you know,
Speaker 2: like they were just flooding. Kirsten and I and I
Speaker 2: think you we would call them yippie skippy kippy Egan
Speaker 2: because my parents have a friend named Kip Egan, and
Speaker 2: so we made we were like, I don't know how
Speaker 2: we got to call them yippy skippy Kippy Egan, but anyway,
Speaker 2: so they were yippy skippy and so I had to
Speaker 2: return them. I went there the other day with Chris
Speaker 2: to return them, and they gave me a store credit
Speaker 2: because I didn't have the receipt. They go, I go,
Speaker 2: can you just get my credit card and like find
Speaker 2: it in the system, which every story's been able to
Speaker 2: do that since the nineties, But they go, sorry, we
Speaker 2: only do you know physical receipts and I go, oh no.
Speaker 2: She goes, no, we can't do we can't look it
Speaker 2: up from your credit card. I go, oh, well, I'll
Speaker 2: just look it up. You probably emailed it to me
Speaker 2: and they go, we only do physical receipts. And I go,
Speaker 2: isn't that convenient? And I said sarcastically and she goes,
Speaker 2: I know right, like she like was like thought I
Speaker 2: was being helpful, but I was being sarcastic, not to
Speaker 2: her to be like, I wasn't being rude, but I
Speaker 2: was like, well, isn't that convenient? Like you know for
Speaker 2: the corporation and other stories?
Speaker 5: I want to tell you what do you think the
Speaker 5: reasoning behind this name and other stories?
Speaker 6: Where do they go for there?
Speaker 2: I think it's whimsical, Yeah, whimsy.
Speaker 4: One time I was at Rag and Bone and I
Speaker 4: bought an outfit and the guy helping me goes, I
Speaker 4: love this.
Speaker 2: This tells a story.
Speaker 4: So maybe it's like accessory, like and other stories.
Speaker 3: Tell the story about Rag and Bone, because that's not whimsical.
Speaker 3: That's dark. It's like what is found on a corpse rag?
Speaker 2: But you know what shows that name to be It's
Speaker 2: like when you call something like they called a restaurant
Speaker 2: eggs or they call it like dirty water for like
Speaker 2: a bar or something like. They just names are like
Speaker 2: challenging you to like, Like the rag and Bone is
Speaker 2: definitely one of the stories reminds me of like things remembered,
Speaker 2: Remember that story from them all things remember.
Speaker 5: Yes, it's not like it's not like evocative, like oh,
Speaker 5: I have to look at that now because what is that?
Speaker 6: It's like just a bullshit name.
Speaker 2: Yes, totally. The font is like written like it's like
Speaker 2: scribbled quickly. Yeah, Like they didn't even spend time on that,
Speaker 2: Like they just were like, let me get my grandmother
Speaker 2: to like just fight this and then that's gonna be
Speaker 2: the story. That's gonna be the end. Other story I
Speaker 2: tell about this business.
Speaker 5: This is what happens when we tell everyone they can
Speaker 5: be entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, and our stories has some decent stuff. I
Speaker 2: have to say. I do like the store, but I
Speaker 2: don't like so I went into the fitting room. I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, I'll just use the store credit I
Speaker 2: got and I was like, I'll just spend it now.
Speaker 2: I like when you get store credit, it's just a
Speaker 2: gift certificate that you get from yourself, like you it
Speaker 2: feels like free money, but it's from.
Speaker 3: Its immediately though I can't hold.
Speaker 2: Because Christmas, like, you can just get some stuff online
Speaker 2: and I was like, I will lose this card. I'm
Speaker 2: spending it now. So he went up the street to
Speaker 2: James Purse and I stayed there and I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna try on some stuff I never try
Speaker 2: and stuff. But I was also like, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to return this if I don't try it on because
Speaker 2: I have to get money. Yeah, I won't get money
Speaker 2: and Taylor will have to like track down the return
Speaker 2: address and it will just be it'll be hell. So
Speaker 2: I was like, I'll turn try it on. I grab
Speaker 2: two pairs of jeans, one in the size that I
Speaker 2: don't want to be and one in the size I
Speaker 2: do want to be. You know, we all have those sizes,
Speaker 2: the one that we used to be in and the
Speaker 2: one that we're gonna get back to and the one
Speaker 2: that we're probably in and we don't want to be.
Speaker 2: And guess what I tried on. I grabbed the one
Speaker 2: that I used to be and I'll put these on first.
Speaker 2: And they're like kind, they're pretty snug, but I'm like
Speaker 2: they're all like they are not acceptable and I will
Speaker 2: not ever be seen wearing them, but I'm not. I'm
Speaker 2: spilling them on and I had to go like I
Speaker 2: had to do a yippy skippy dance where I'm like
Speaker 2: pushing my legs out to get them on. It was
Speaker 2: a struggle. It was embarrassing. And then I go, well,
Speaker 2: that's fine because these are the these are the old ones,
Speaker 2: these are my old size, the the the young nikki.
Speaker 2: And then I took them off and I grabbed the
Speaker 2: other ones and I realized they were actually the ones
Speaker 2: that were supposed to be too big and they were
Speaker 2: so tight. So then I go, I am, I will
Speaker 2: be damned if I don't try on these tinier ones
Speaker 2: and just see where I'm at. And I tried on
Speaker 2: the tinier ones and they were more of a struggle,
Speaker 2: but not that more of a struggle. So then that
Speaker 2: made me question all the sizing altogether all day. They
Speaker 2: were actually longer than the other ones that were a
Speaker 2: bigger size. So anyway, but then as I was taking
Speaker 2: them off and I was feeling okay about that, I'm
Speaker 2: just like, okay, so I'm bigger than I thought I was,
Speaker 2: but I'm still like, I don't look in the mirror
Speaker 2: and like despise myself. But that was until I saw
Speaker 2: a different mirror and it was a mirror behind me.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that was showing. And this reminds me of
Speaker 2: a David Spade joke where he catches a glimpse of
Speaker 2: himself in a dressing room mirror and he sees the
Speaker 2: side of himself and he's like, you ever seen the
Speaker 2: side of yourself? And You're like, well, no one can
Speaker 2: ever see that again. So he goes to the bar
Speaker 2: that night and he only beats women and he walks
Speaker 2: like a crab so that they can never see him.
Speaker 2: From that, I do, and that's my pavoke. It's so funny,
Speaker 2: and it reminded me of that. But I saw in
Speaker 2: that mirror the ass of a woman. I've I don't
Speaker 2: know this woman. I don't recon I would never recognize
Speaker 2: in a line up the ass that I saw it was.
Speaker 2: I just was like, I I can I have to
Speaker 2: do everything I can to keep Chris because no one
Speaker 2: will ever Okay, love me again. I know he's seen
Speaker 2: this because I've been walking around nude. I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: let him see it anymore. I thought it looked way
Speaker 2: better back there.
Speaker 3: He didn't see it in like bright hellish lights and
Speaker 3: like ye a box with like a bad color.
Speaker 2: No, I have a ring light next to our bed
Speaker 2: that's on fluorescent mode. It everyone can say the lighting,
Speaker 2: everyone can say the mirrors, everyone can say whatever it is.
Speaker 2: The fact of the matter is it wasn't about the lighting.
Speaker 2: It was the shape in the like it wasn't the
Speaker 2: It wasn't the skin tone or the celly light, although
Speaker 2: that was a problem, but I like, I don't mind
Speaker 2: the saggyness and the skin tone because I know that
Speaker 2: is lighting, and I know that I can't help that.
Speaker 2: It was the size and the shape. It was what's
Speaker 2: that movie called the Shape of the something? It was
Speaker 2: that movie and stores and other stories, and so I
Speaker 2: was so depressed, much bigger, like why like this is
Speaker 2: stiffler at third grade? It was, No, it's it's going.
Speaker 2: It's going wide. This is wide screen. See Oppenheimer on
Speaker 2: my ass. It is, it's going, it's branching out, it's
Speaker 2: really fighting itself, but it's just going. It's getting to
Speaker 2: an old woman's ass. And then I saw Chris and
Speaker 2: I just looked shell shocked, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: can't really function right now, Like I'm not gonna be
Speaker 2: I need to cry, and there's nowhere to cry in
Speaker 2: Beverly Hills.
Speaker 3: In the dressing room. That's what I've done.
Speaker 2: Title because they needed that dressing room. There was like
Speaker 2: a long line, and so I just and I didn't
Speaker 2: want to be in there anymore. I was if I you.
Speaker 3: Know, and other bitches inline to cry.
Speaker 2: So I just bought my shirts, my big shirts and Christmas,
Speaker 2: like what'd you get? And I go a bunch of
Speaker 2: shirts for fat girls. That was being such a bitch
Speaker 2: and not that there's anything wrong with being a fat girl,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I think that's just that's what's
Speaker 2: going on. I was like a bunch of shirts that
Speaker 2: are like oversized skater girls shirts, like giant shirts, like yeah, Adelia's.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I can't buy any bottoms anymore.
Speaker 2: That's just not my life right now. And we went
Speaker 2: into a store with him and he was like, so
Speaker 2: what do you think about this? And I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm right now catatonic mode, like I can't think about
Speaker 2: anything else but my body. I'm obsessed right now. We
Speaker 2: have to go see Oppenheimer in an hour. I need
Speaker 2: to get I'm so glad we're going to see Oppenheimer
Speaker 2: because I need to get this out of my head. Like,
Speaker 2: do you ever like where you see?
Speaker 3: Yeah, out of my head?
Speaker 7: Do you ever.
Speaker 2: See why do we obsess over our bodies like this?
Speaker 2: Like I was totally happy before this. I went to lunch,
Speaker 2: we went to go to a shelter to look at dogs.
Speaker 2: I was having a great day and then I went
Speaker 2: and looked in a mirror and my day was hijacked.
Speaker 2: September eleventh, shout out, Oh my god. I don't know
Speaker 2: like he doing shout outs to nine eleven. I don't
Speaker 2: mean that nine to eleven shout out, but I just
Speaker 2: my brain was hijacked, and I was like, this is
Speaker 2: the sickness. It's not like what it's not even about
Speaker 2: what's going on in my body. It's about what's going
Speaker 2: on in my head.
Speaker 4: I have a theory we're human beings, but we're probably
Speaker 4: not supposed like we are spiritual. This is probably just
Speaker 4: evidence that we really do have a spirit because we're
Speaker 4: it's like this cognitive dissonance. When we see our body,
Speaker 4: we're like, that's not me, but it is you, and
Speaker 4: it keeps changing, so it's probably just kind of it's traumatic.
Speaker 4: We've all had this moment. I'm sure men even have it,
Speaker 4: right Brian, where you're just like.
Speaker 2: H, that's need.
Speaker 4: It could be about your hands, it could be about
Speaker 4: too when I should have a video of himself at
Speaker 4: the Porsche thing.
Speaker 2: He was like, you showed me a video the other
Speaker 2: day that I like was a little bit shook by
Speaker 2: seeing that angle myself, So like, yeah, it happens to men, Brian.
Speaker 5: I've never thought, yeah, of course, I've never actually seen
Speaker 5: myself in a mirror, so I'm looking right.
Speaker 4: Now to.
Speaker 3: Mirror.
Speaker 2: I always with the fact that people like I just
Speaker 2: all of a sudden get really embarrassed. It's almost like,
Speaker 2: if you listen to our secret podcast that we did
Speaker 2: for big money players what do they called the Power
Speaker 2: Players or Diamond Yeah, shot out Element Diamond Players Network,
Speaker 2: you get a free episode and if you listen to
Speaker 2: that one, you'll hear about a really embarrassing moment of
Speaker 2: my life. And it was almost like that, like what's
Speaker 2: embarrassing about being When you're embarrassed, it's because other people
Speaker 2: witness it, right, Like if you trip and fall in
Speaker 2: your own home, you're not like what an embarrassment, You're
Speaker 2: just like, oh, that sucks, you know, But embarrassment relies
Speaker 2: on other people witnessing it. So for me, it was like,
Speaker 2: I can't believe I've been walking around like this thinking
Speaker 2: I'm thin. That's what I'm thin person confidence and no,
Speaker 2: everyone's knows that this is like not the way and
Speaker 2: by the way, please no, don't write to me and say, Nikki,
Speaker 2: this is all true. Like it can be triggering to you.
Speaker 2: I know it's triggering to some people. This triggers me
Speaker 2: sometimes when then people talk about feeling fat. I promise
Speaker 2: you this is my own issue. I don't think you're fat.
Speaker 2: I think fat is beautiful. I don't think it's a problem.
Speaker 2: I just I have a lot of you know, trauma
Speaker 2: from the growing up in the nineties, in early two
Speaker 2: thousands when we all thought Britney Spears of the VMAs
Speaker 2: was fat, like these kind of things where it's like,
Speaker 2: I'm just I need to rewire my brain. I'm just
Speaker 2: sharing my truth and has nothing to do with you,
Speaker 2: And I'm sorry if it hurts anyone's feelings that I'm
Speaker 2: saying this. I love all of you. I don't think
Speaker 2: if you're fat that means you're wrong or anything. And
Speaker 2: I don't know why I think I'm wrong if I'm
Speaker 2: fat for some reason, but that's just the way it is.
Speaker 2: So please don't take this personally. I love you all,
Speaker 2: and we have to go to break, but I want
Speaker 2: to hear your thoughts about how you guys get through this,
Speaker 2: because I was able to get through it, and I
Speaker 2: want to hear what you guys do. All right, we'll
Speaker 2: talk about that when you get right back after this.
Speaker 2: All right, we're back. What do you guys do when
Speaker 2: you have been like overwhelmingly depressed about something, whether it's
Speaker 2: like whether it's a physical thing you see about yourself,
Speaker 2: whether it's something you you some critique, you get back
Speaker 2: on your work, or like you just realize all of
Speaker 2: a sudden, like what you thought was not what it seems.
Speaker 2: You get cheated on, like like where your reality is
Speaker 2: like not what you thought it was. What do you do?
Speaker 5: I enter into a fugue state where I endlessly work
Speaker 5: to try to change what happened.
Speaker 6: That's not a healthy way.
Speaker 3: That's it's useful, but I think.
Speaker 5: It's sometimes it is for work and stuff. If I
Speaker 5: get like bad notes on a script or something then
Speaker 5: I will. I will sit in a chair for two
Speaker 5: straight weeks trying to learn why I was inadequate and
Speaker 5: fix it.
Speaker 6: And then usually I come.
Speaker 2: Out and ask it's flat from sitting in there, Then
Speaker 2: you gotta fix it.
Speaker 3: It's wow wow.
Speaker 5: Usually I come out on the other side with with
Speaker 5: something better say, yeah, same thing happened when I got
Speaker 5: cheated on. You know, I decided, Well, I went and
Speaker 5: tried to figure out why and which that doesn't work.
Speaker 5: But then I went and I went on a million dates.
Speaker 5: And that's usually I Usually, some for some reason, falsely
Speaker 5: believe that I have the power to change my position.
Speaker 5: And sometimes that's wrong and you're just punching a wall
Speaker 5: or hitting your head against a wall that will never give.
Speaker 5: And sometimes it works and you actually do mold the
Speaker 5: universe into how you want it. But most of the
Speaker 5: time it's not.
Speaker 2: A bad idea. Well, I was talking to Chris last
Speaker 2: night about we were talking about sports we'll get into
Speaker 2: in a second. We were watching football, and he was
Speaker 2: he was kind of reliving his days of when he
Speaker 2: was a budding athlete, and he's he wishes that someone,
Speaker 2: he wishes he would have worked harder at football in
Speaker 2: high school and trained off the field and outside of
Speaker 2: practices to become even better. But he said something to
Speaker 2: me that I really really resonated with me, which is,
Speaker 2: when you're young, you don't think that hard work is
Speaker 2: going to change anything. You like, you know about hard work,
Speaker 2: you hear about it, but you kind of just feel.
Speaker 2: And we talked about this before, that you either got
Speaker 2: it or you don't, and that hard work like when
Speaker 2: you're in high school, you're just like, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I'll just like I'm not gonna like persevere past this
Speaker 2: block possible. Yeah, you made like a really mean father
Speaker 2: to push you to do that, or like a coach,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like you can't do it
Speaker 2: on your own. But like I think as adults, I
Speaker 2: just have a better idea of that now that I
Speaker 2: can I can do anything except you know, be president
Speaker 2: or fly. But like I can do or understand football,
Speaker 2: I can or understand, uh, what is going on in
Speaker 2: the movie The Big Short. We'll also get to that
Speaker 2: in a second. I can't do pretty much anything if
Speaker 2: I if I, if I try hard enough, And yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that that is exactly what I decided to
Speaker 2: do about this. I was like Okay, my body is
Speaker 2: not what I want it to be, right now, what
Speaker 2: can I do? And so I'm like, okay, without like
Speaker 2: killing myself, I'm just being more mindful and I'm just
Speaker 2: like like being more uh you know, disciplined, I guess
Speaker 2: is the word, and like feeling like I'm gonna And
Speaker 2: now that I live with Chris, it's kind of nice
Speaker 2: because before when I would like eat better or get
Speaker 2: on an exercise regimen, there's like no one to see it,
Speaker 2: you know, And like I do everything for like a
Speaker 2: for someone going like you're actually doing good, you know,
Speaker 2: like that's I don't do everything for that, but like
Speaker 2: it really helps to have someone go, wow, you're like
Speaker 2: putting in the work, You're actually doing it. And so
Speaker 2: I think it like it helps to live with someone
Speaker 2: for that regard. And it's been one day of doing
Speaker 2: things extra.
Speaker 5: People post Instagram stories of like look at me, I'm
Speaker 5: working out here, I lost this weight. It helps and
Speaker 5: people don't hate you as much if you just show
Speaker 5: up with a glow up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't mind if you post stuff about working out.
Speaker 2: I've been clear about this before, but don't pretend like
Speaker 2: you're trying to motivate me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my call.
Speaker 2: Bullshit. If you can say, hey, I want to post
Speaker 2: this because I'm proud of myself, go for it. That's
Speaker 2: the reason. That's why you're doing it. Anyway. I'm proud
Speaker 2: of myself. I want attention for this, but don't try
Speaker 2: to trick me into being like, you can do this too.
Speaker 2: You don't want me to do it because you are
Speaker 2: trying to be hotter than me, and you don't want
Speaker 2: me doing that too.
Speaker 5: You post just maybe Nikki Glaser podcast Instagram of you
Speaker 5: playing guitar because you want to improve playing in front
Speaker 5: of people, and then that's a good way to do it.
Speaker 5: I kind of want to do that too with piano,
Speaker 5: but I haven't yet built up the courage.
Speaker 2: Go live. You can go live on nick Glazer Pod
Speaker 2: anytime you want to practice your instrument. It's space to go.
Speaker 2: You can always go in there because it's always people
Speaker 2: that are going to be encouraging. They know what they're
Speaker 2: getting into. That's what I do sometimes, in case you
Speaker 2: didn't know, on the Nikki Glazer Pod Instagram, I go
Speaker 2: live and I just play guitar and sing and I
Speaker 2: say countless times I don't think I'm good. This isn't
Speaker 2: for entertainment. This is for you to be witnessed to
Speaker 2: me practicing because it's the only way I can ever
Speaker 2: practice this. If someone is like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's to struggle.
Speaker 2: And people have been encouraged to pick up guitar or
Speaker 2: pick up singing or do something that they didn't you
Speaker 2: know that they think they're too old to do. So
Speaker 2: I have encouraged people. Is that why I'm doing it? No,
Speaker 2: it's not. Because I'm being honest with you. I'm not
Speaker 2: about there are some things in my life that I
Speaker 2: do that are meant to like help others and make
Speaker 2: it so girls have an easier time in life and
Speaker 2: young boys. I think my stand up is more motivated by, like,
Speaker 2: I want people to have information that I didn't have
Speaker 2: back then. But am I playing guitar to inspire others? Fuck? No,
Speaker 2: I'm doing it so I can get good.
Speaker 4: I like this thing you're bringing up. It's really like
Speaker 4: activating my brain a lot about like what do you
Speaker 4: guys do when you're traumatized? How do you make it through?
Speaker 4: I think that helps people too, Just to hear that
Speaker 4: other people, even successful celebrities, can have these like I
Speaker 4: would love to hear am I Rabatowski talk about like
Speaker 4: has she had a dressing room moment. I had this,
Speaker 4: and I'm a very very thin woman. I had this
Speaker 4: a year ago. I remember the day I was in
Speaker 4: Baja California in a hotel, different lighting, bright.
Speaker 3: Fresh bathroom.
Speaker 2: On your yeah, but the.
Speaker 4: Light caught my I was in a bikini and the
Speaker 4: light caught me and I was in a new mirror,
Speaker 4: new room. I was just like, what this cannot be right.
Speaker 4: And it was a huge mirror and the sun it
Speaker 4: was like morning, bright bright sun, and I just couldn't
Speaker 4: believe my eyes. It was cellulate from my like my everywhere,
Speaker 4: like all over my stomach, all the way down my leg.
Speaker 4: And I was just kind of marveling at first, like wow,
Speaker 4: this is incredible. And then the breeze started going and
Speaker 4: like it was just like myne I was in my
Speaker 4: hotel room. And then I started like moving my skin
Speaker 4: around and I was shocked at the lack of muscle tone,
Speaker 4: and I was just like, my leg is flapping in
Speaker 4: the wind like a flag, and.
Speaker 3: I it was so triggered.
Speaker 2: It really looks like it looks like.
Speaker 3: Just fabric a mirror. Ever again, do you want to
Speaker 3: know my process?
Speaker 2: So did you hold it up and give it to
Speaker 2: I never to touch the ground?
Speaker 4: I did what I would Okay, here's how I've grown
Speaker 4: because in the past I would just like skip right
Speaker 4: to action, like what do I do to fix this?
Speaker 4: But what I think is really helpful is like, sit
Speaker 4: with the feelings. Do not take a shortcut around to action,
Speaker 4: because action should be like step three. The first thing
Speaker 4: I did was just be like, wow, okay, I'm just
Speaker 4: going to sit with all the feelings I'm having anything
Speaker 4: it can be like this is disgusting. I don't accept myself.
Speaker 4: I can't believe I'm aging this way. Holy shit. And
Speaker 4: then like the most important thing for me to realize
Speaker 4: is my eyes are not accurately seeing shit. Also, this
Speaker 4: is a two dimensional thing. This is not four dimensions.
Speaker 4: So whatever I'm seeing right now is actually the baby,
Speaker 4: but maybe three D. I don't I don't know what D.
Speaker 4: But you know nothing, but it's not accurate. Like I
Speaker 4: cannot be a good, tried and true, trusted resource.
Speaker 2: How true is that? Because anytime I see my friends,
Speaker 2: think they look like shit. I mean, there's sometimes where
Speaker 2: you're like you're kind of spot on. There's sometimes where
Speaker 2: you go just go, yeah, okay, I can see what
Speaker 2: you're saying. But I would say ninety percent of the
Speaker 2: time I don't see what they're talking about, and not
Speaker 2: in a way that's like I love you and I
Speaker 2: only see you in a beautiful way. I truly can't
Speaker 2: grasp what they're fucking saying.
Speaker 3: I think still are fully and completely tripping all the time.
Speaker 2: Well we is, Annie, you have a good point, like
Speaker 2: your eyes are fucking we just see ourselves so differently.
Speaker 6: That's the thing.
Speaker 5: You like, you are in your own head and so
Speaker 5: you don't get to see yourself like everyone else in
Speaker 5: the world sees, you know, And then to double down
Speaker 5: on that, when you look into a mirror, it's a
Speaker 5: reflection of you.
Speaker 6: It's not even what your boss.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 4: Yes. So like in cognitive therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, they
Speaker 4: do this. You guys know all about this. You you
Speaker 4: work through stuff, you say you're feeling, You rate the feeling.
Speaker 4: Then you like, how what percent of this feeling is
Speaker 4: accurate and true? And then you list all the facts
Speaker 4: and then what percent is not true, and then list
Speaker 4: all the evidence there and then you have more balanced Thus,
Speaker 4: so I try to get to a more balanced place
Speaker 4: than this triggered state of like I am disgusting this
Speaker 4: as an emergency and then.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was what was happening to me. I was
Speaker 2: code ready, I was, but this is the thought that
Speaker 2: I had that was funny that I want to share that,
Speaker 2: I promise you is not how I really feel, but
Speaker 2: it was in the moment. I wanted to kill myself. Okay,
Speaker 2: I wanted to jump off a bridge. Not really because
Speaker 2: that's not how I would go if I ever did it.
Speaker 2: I said on Ander Tantino's podcast recently, I was like,
Speaker 2: I have suicidal thoughts. We were talking about it because
Speaker 2: that's what I talk about on every podcast that I
Speaker 2: guess not and and he goes, how would you do it?
Speaker 2: And I go, I don't want to ruin this rise
Speaker 2: and people people's I was really sad for you until
Speaker 2: you said that it made me laugh. So but I
Speaker 2: would never jump off a bridge, but there was like
Speaker 2: something in me that was just like, I need to
Speaker 2: end this right now. And then I go, but I
Speaker 2: don't want to because then someone has to do an
Speaker 2: autopsy and they'll see me naked hot corner. I was
Speaker 2: like lifting up the thing and being like you being
Speaker 2: like your ass is there's a dimpling on her ass.
Speaker 3: So from hitting you're actually off the side.
Speaker 6: You request an ugly coroner And like.
Speaker 2: Before I jumped, really did. I recently watched on Theo's podcast.
Speaker 2: It's so interesting he interviewed a coroner and that's why
Speaker 2: that word was. He wasn't hot, but he was cool.
Speaker 2: There was like a hotness to him because he was
Speaker 2: like so empathetic and like sweet. Did you watch it,
Speaker 2: Noah or like or anything? Yeah, yeah, really good. That
Speaker 2: was a really interesting thing. I forget what I gleaned
Speaker 2: from it, but I just wanted to share an interesting fact.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that went out.
Speaker 1: I went out with my girlfriend pull on my yesterday
Speaker 1: and she's doing a program to become a death duela
Speaker 1: or like a death midwife. And this program that she's
Speaker 1: uh going through encourages people to not go through the
Speaker 1: embalming process. And she was telling me how like before
Speaker 1: the Civil War, every household had a death room where
Speaker 1: you would hold funerals and where you would keep the dead.
Speaker 1: And after the Civil War, when all you know, like
Speaker 1: the soldiers were getting killed, the families wanted to bury
Speaker 1: the bodies in their home state or whatever, and it
Speaker 1: took a while to transport. That's when they started doing embombing. Also,
Speaker 1: embombing is not a law. It's just a suggestion.
Speaker 4: Right now, what is it covering you with wast.
Speaker 2: It's like formaldehyde, right, it's suggesting.
Speaker 7: You were.
Speaker 4: I thought they Why does embalmings sound like waxing because
Speaker 4: it's a bomb, like a lit bomb.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you get like, okay, so it's just a suggestion.
Speaker 2: You shouldn't do.
Speaker 1: It, Okay, No, it's you know, choice, but part of
Speaker 1: your death planning. And after the Civil War, those death
Speaker 1: rooms turned into the living room living room from because
Speaker 1: after they embalmed, like once, they decided like that they
Speaker 1: didn't need to have a death room.
Speaker 2: They just were like.
Speaker 3: Just changed it sitting room.
Speaker 1: It changed the funeral industry and people started moving over
Speaker 1: to funeral homes where bodies would be embalmed and stuff
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: Is that way They.
Speaker 4: Call it the living room because it's the opposite of
Speaker 4: the dying room.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the death room, oh my god, And it's a
Speaker 2: room for the living. Oh, Louis is the funniest joke.
Speaker 2: His grandmother or someone donating her body to science and
Speaker 2: He was like, what if you donate your body to
Speaker 2: science and you just like you were given to some
Speaker 2: student who got like an F and they just read
Speaker 2: an F like your head this rejection, Like the kid
Speaker 2: just looks up on Is that a Louis bit?
Speaker 6: Brian.
Speaker 2: I know you're encyclopedic about Louis, but that made me
Speaker 2: laugh so hard because you think you're like giving your
Speaker 2: body to like research, it's gonna like your cancer. But
Speaker 2: it's just like some kid is like poking around and
Speaker 2: like probably is hungover and just shows up and like
Speaker 2: just like scratches your eyeball with something and they're like Nope,
Speaker 2: that's wrong. You ruined this corpse and they're like f
Speaker 2: and just like throw you in a dumpster.
Speaker 3: I got lost at at the school and I found
Speaker 3: the morgue there, but it said gross anatomy and it
Speaker 3: was just like a basement. I was looking for the
Speaker 3: bathroom and it was just that one room with like
Speaker 3: a big chesl door sking in there, clinking clanking of
Speaker 3: like metallic tool.
Speaker 2: Taylor's a professor.
Speaker 3: I like the professor, Yeah, they do, they do.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, what are you teaching?
Speaker 3: Said professor Mcross Psychology at where you don't have to say, Okay,
Speaker 3: they're going to find me or not.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's true. Didn't one of your students find you?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Eye?
Speaker 2: Oh no, my makeup? Oh no, there's no one wearing makeup.
Speaker 2: Now I'm a fraud.
Speaker 5: Did you hear the thing about when there was a
Speaker 5: controversy at least ten years ago or something where a
Speaker 5: lot of the bodies being donated to science were being
Speaker 5: donated to the military and then they were just using
Speaker 5: your body to test weapons on to see how like
Speaker 5: a you that's kind of would react to, like getting
Speaker 5: shot by a bullet that explodes.
Speaker 4: They have to do that though, they have to do
Speaker 4: the right research and throw a body into.
Speaker 5: Like the controversy was like I'm going to donate my
Speaker 5: body to science, and they weren't telling the families that, like,
Speaker 5: this is actually going to be shot by a tank right.
Speaker 2: Over. Remind me, Taylor of this. Oh my god, this
Speaker 2: comes full circle to like the joke that you told
Speaker 2: me about the Simpsons that you said was the funniest
Speaker 2: joke you'd ever heard in your life. I reminded you
Speaker 2: of a couple of years ago. Do you remember it?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: They like they they shot a dead body in a cannon. Noah,
Speaker 2: do you know this? You have been speaking of encyclopedic
Speaker 2: knowledge of Simpsons. They shoot like a grandma and a
Speaker 2: canyon and it said a cannon.
Speaker 6: That's what I meant, jaguar.
Speaker 2: And what does it say on the flag letter rip'n.
Speaker 2: That's so funny And that's that's what they said when
Speaker 2: they shot those people with.
Speaker 6: I mean, let's a great and that's great.
Speaker 2: That's a great one I want on my grave.
Speaker 4: Okay, can I say one more thing about you?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: Please?
Speaker 2: The thing you're talking about, please, Yes, the thing.
Speaker 4: You were saying about trauma. Clearly this is speaking to
Speaker 4: me a lot, but like how people get over breakups
Speaker 4: and stuff like Brian talking also about like you know,
Speaker 4: beating a How can I never repeat this thing? What
Speaker 4: has helped me so much is advice you've given me
Speaker 4: and other people a lot, like with regard to having
Speaker 4: a trauma around a relationship or someone that like sign
Speaker 4: a bridge, someone that like she's on you or can't
Speaker 4: love you the way you thought, and rather than like
Speaker 4: beating myself up for it and like figuring out how
Speaker 4: to never have that happen again, what helps a lot
Speaker 4: is just like the thing you say about it's like
Speaker 4: hugging someone that doesn't have arms, you know, like they
Speaker 4: really can't help it. And it sounds so trite. You know,
Speaker 4: you can't tell someone that and believe it right after
Speaker 4: you found out someone cheated on you. But but so
Speaker 4: often that is the thing, like you really didn't deserve
Speaker 4: that particular trauma, and it is like you just picked
Speaker 4: someone that can can't give it.
Speaker 3: Back to you.
Speaker 4: And it might even have the It's like the same
Speaker 4: thing with a job that goes badly, Like maybe it's
Speaker 4: just not a match.
Speaker 2: I'm going off, no, no, no, I think what I I
Speaker 2: remember the person who gave me this advice first was
Speaker 2: Rachel Feinstein. I was going, I like, liked this guy
Speaker 2: so much and he just wouldn't like me back. And
Speaker 2: it was like, why not? We're perfect for each other,
Speaker 2: like you, I know you like me as like a friend.
Speaker 2: Why couldn't this be romantic? I know you're attracted to me.
Speaker 2: It just doesn't make sense. And she was like, he
Speaker 2: can't love you the way you want to be loved.
Speaker 2: And I'm like why though, she goes, no, you're not
Speaker 2: hearing me. It's not that he can't love you. He
Speaker 2: can't love anyone. Like it's you're asking for something he
Speaker 2: doesn't have to give.
Speaker 3: And people can sense that. It's you can be so hot,
Speaker 3: but they're they're probably like I just can tell they
Speaker 3: want more. People can sense it.
Speaker 8: Bicycle, yeah, exactly, our fish like they just can't do
Speaker 8: it and like and like, I think that's what was
Speaker 8: so incompon about, like my body not being what I
Speaker 8: wanted it to be.
Speaker 2: Was that for an order? For I think we just
Speaker 2: want immediate, We want to take action. We want things
Speaker 2: to change instantly. Someone's mad at me, Stop being mad
Speaker 2: at me right now you're cheating on me. Apologize and
Speaker 2: make everything better and say you won't do it again.
Speaker 2: And sometimes you just don't get that immediate thing that
Speaker 2: you want so much. I mean, I know every bestie
Speaker 2: is like thinking about something. I hope that you're thinking
Speaker 2: of something in your life that you're like, yes, I
Speaker 2: just want this to be like relieved now, Like why
Speaker 2: can't you just give me what I want? And when
Speaker 2: you're dealing with your body stuff, like it's just it's
Speaker 2: impossible to have a quick fix. There isn't one, even
Speaker 2: if you were to get surgery. If you're do to
Speaker 2: do ozembic, those are still things that are gonna take weeks,
Speaker 2: Like I will not I can't fix this right now.
Speaker 2: And that's so frustrating that I just had to go
Speaker 2: see Oppenheimer when really I wanted to go do a
Speaker 2: I wanted to go run twenty miles, like I just
Speaker 2: wanted to get and I had to go to dinner
Speaker 2: that night, and like I'm like I have to eat
Speaker 2: and the meal soon, and like this is what got
Speaker 2: me here, is eating and I have meals that I
Speaker 2: have to go eat, like I can't not eat the
Speaker 2: rest of my life, and like that is really frustrating
Speaker 2: that you just have to keep living your life when
Speaker 2: there is something that seems like so desperately in need
Speaker 2: of change. But then you just think about like I
Speaker 2: just had to go back to like I'm so happy
Speaker 2: I have arms. I'm so happy I have an ass
Speaker 2: that is like bigger than I want it to be.
Speaker 2: It's better than having no ass, which I'd had for
Speaker 2: a really long time. It is hard to sit on
Speaker 2: and really hurt a lot, and you know, like or
Speaker 2: whatever it is, like I just I just all I
Speaker 2: know is that what helps me is that I was
Speaker 2: a weight that I liked not so long ago, and
Speaker 2: if it took me this long to get here, it'll
Speaker 2: take me that long to get back to that. Like,
Speaker 2: I don't have to do anything crazy. I didn't do
Speaker 2: anything crazy to get here. I just ate a little
Speaker 2: bit too much here and there. But it wasn't I
Speaker 2: haven't gone nuts. And maybe you're someone who has gone
Speaker 2: nuts and who was like, well, I've never been the
Speaker 2: weight that I want to be. I don't know what
Speaker 2: to say to you, but for me, I don't have
Speaker 2: a solution there. But I think the solution is just
Speaker 2: is truly just accepting the moment and just being like
Speaker 2: and going back to a thing that I said years
Speaker 2: ago in this podcast, which is like, I don't want
Speaker 2: my ass to look like this. I would have never
Speaker 2: chosen this. It's not my fault. And I could say
Speaker 2: it's my fault because I overate. I was a lazy ass.
Speaker 2: I didn't work out, but if I could have, I
Speaker 2: would have and I didn't. And it's not like I'm
Speaker 2: not a bad person because my ass looks like this.
Speaker 3: I'm not.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I was starting to my therapist yesterday and I was lamenting
Speaker 2: this stuff and I'm like, to me, it equals lazy,
Speaker 2: And to me, laziness triggers everything that my dad didn't
Speaker 2: like about me as a kid or my mom as
Speaker 2: a kid, Like my dad's a go getter, always wants
Speaker 2: to be like, let's go on for a bike ride,
Speaker 2: Let's go, let's go down to the creek, Let's go
Speaker 2: do this, let's go pick up pine cones, come like punks,
Speaker 2: let's come on, let's go do anything. And if we
Speaker 2: didn't want to do with something, if we would have
Speaker 2: preferred to stay in and watch TV, we were lazy.
Speaker 2: And it was kind of like this, no shame on
Speaker 2: my dad because that's just the way he is. He
Speaker 2: was kind of like disgusted with us, like how are
Speaker 2: you even my kids? Like you just want to stay
Speaker 2: Like that's such a waste of life. So I have
Speaker 2: this like association with being lazy as being a wasteful person,
Speaker 2: a bad person. And then to me, having a fat
Speaker 2: ass equals you'd weren't active, you were sitting on the
Speaker 2: couch eating too much equals you're a bad person. You
Speaker 2: chose to do this, but I didn't. I didn't choose
Speaker 2: to have this ass. If anything, I am very upset
Speaker 2: about it. So if you don't like what you have,
Speaker 2: just go back to the reasoning of like you didn't
Speaker 2: do anything to do. You're not a bad person because
Speaker 2: you have it, because no one would choose to have
Speaker 2: something on themselves that they don't like. It just is
Speaker 2: the hand you were dealt and didn't help that. My
Speaker 2: boyfriend then wanted to go into ag jeans that is
Speaker 2: now has a whole section that's by em Rota, and
Speaker 2: Emrota's fucking abs and her dumb little ass that is
Speaker 2: literally the size of my forearm is her waist is
Speaker 2: so fucking tiny, and it's everywhere on these posters. And
Speaker 2: I was just like fucking furious because she doesn't she
Speaker 2: has her own struggles, but she doesn't. She was just
Speaker 2: born with that body. She didn't do anything different than you.
Speaker 2: She doesn't work out more than you do. She doesn't
Speaker 2: like she doesn't. She's just born that way.
Speaker 4: Just like a great tip for being traumatized in these
Speaker 4: moments and fitting room or at home is get away
Speaker 4: from the mirror, go put on something comfortable. Those two
Speaker 4: things have saved my life so many times. That day
Speaker 4: that I was in the bikini in front of the man,
Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, get away from this fucking mirror. You've
Speaker 4: spent twenty minutes just being.
Speaker 3: Like, oh my god.
Speaker 4: What about this angle?
Speaker 3: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: What if I don't have a problem with Like I
Speaker 2: don't dig into it. I see it, and then I.
Speaker 4: Wait and get out of the bikini and put on
Speaker 4: something comfortable, because there's nothing worse than having like super
Speaker 4: tight pants on where you're like, I can't believe these
Speaker 4: don't fit, and then you're in them for hours, just
Speaker 4: like these fucking pants my fucking body.
Speaker 3: It's just do you do.
Speaker 2: The thing though, where I mean we all do it
Speaker 2: where you look at someone who has the body you
Speaker 2: want or has the job you want, and you just
Speaker 2: go like, how could they ever complain about anything when
Speaker 2: their body looks like that? How could they?
Speaker 3: They're they're laundering it? Well would get mad at that?
Speaker 2: Oh, you get like you think they're just they're not
Speaker 2: even appreciating, and.
Speaker 3: Like you don't even your pants just slide right on,
Speaker 3: isn't that great? And then you slide out the door
Speaker 3: and everything's.
Speaker 2: Fine every time. If anything, yeah, there's there, they're sliding. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that thing of like you've never put on pants and
Speaker 2: gone like, oh, they're like, I know people again.
Speaker 3: I can't put this on nothing, fetch, you've never done that.
Speaker 6: I see a.
Speaker 5: Famous person who's got a great bod, or at least
Speaker 5: I used to do this. I would just look up
Speaker 5: what their workout is, Like I did the Huge Jackman
Speaker 5: workout for a couple of years, and I did the
Speaker 5: Chris Evans Captain America workout. I wanted to be like,
Speaker 5: I can do what they do and look like then
Speaker 5: the Huge Jackman workout actually did change my body in action.
Speaker 2: Man, now he has I have.
Speaker 5: Knives coming out of my knuckles now. It was actually surgery,
Speaker 5: not a workout that I say that, the.
Speaker 2: Huge Jackman thing. It's it reminds me of when I
Speaker 2: probably have told this on the podcast before. But it's
Speaker 2: like a famous moment and christ Andized relationship. Is that
Speaker 2: any say christ Andize chriss in mind my relationship. We
Speaker 2: went to go see Avengers one of the fucking X
Speaker 2: Men movies.
Speaker 6: Is that X Men Avengers is Marvel? Uh No, that's like.
Speaker 3: X Men movies.
Speaker 2: We went to see x Men. I'm so sorry, Oh
Speaker 2: my god.
Speaker 5: Truly that is only something that someone truly doesn't know
Speaker 5: that stuff could say like a person who knows, like,
Speaker 5: if you're trying to come up with a.
Speaker 6: Joke anything about it, You're trying to come up with.
Speaker 5: A line of dialogue that someone who doesn't know about
Speaker 5: this stuff would say, you wouldn't be able to do
Speaker 5: it unless you truly didn't know, because that's so But
Speaker 5: mind boy, I wouldn't even think to say that.
Speaker 2: That would be like you saying I don't know that
Speaker 2: that Britney Spears was in clueless, Like you just take
Speaker 2: two cultural phenomenons from the nineties and you like put.
Speaker 6: Them Britney wasn't.
Speaker 3: X Men?
Speaker 2: Okay, right, that's hounds crazy. It is so, yeah, I
Speaker 2: truly don't know about this stuff because and Chris always
Speaker 2: tells me when I don't know about things, because I
Speaker 2: get I get annoyed that I don't know things, Like
Speaker 2: I'm like, how do I not know the X Men,
Speaker 2: Marvel DC, how different? And he says, because you don't care?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, but I but I want to know,
Speaker 2: so don't doesn't that equal car you want to know? Anyway,
Speaker 2: we went to go see I do want to know everything.
Speaker 2: We went to go see X Men years ago and
Speaker 2: Hugh Jackman. There's a scene in the morning where he wakes,
Speaker 2: he gets out of bed. He's like in bed with
Speaker 2: a woman. He gets up in the morning and he
Speaker 2: like goes like he like stretches. He's sitting up in bed.
Speaker 2: You'll know the scene if you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: And his back looks and I logan, logan, Okay, I
Speaker 2: accidentally gasped in admiration of it. I just was like,
Speaker 2: like I but Chris immediately heard it and goes, did
Speaker 2: you just gasp? And I'm like, but I did mean to.
Speaker 2: It wasn't the type of like because I've talked about
Speaker 2: this on stage where there are certain guys and girls
Speaker 2: who will like say little thing. I'm sure you've dated
Speaker 2: some guys like this, or I certainly Anya Noah have
Speaker 2: dated guys like this, or been women that do this
Speaker 2: when you're in a jealous situation in relationship where you
Speaker 2: will make comments about celebrities in front of your partner
Speaker 2: because celebrities feel safe because it's like I'm not going
Speaker 2: to date that person, so they're like safe to comment
Speaker 2: and be like God she looks good or oh my god,
Speaker 2: he's so hot because you're like I'm not gonna actually
Speaker 2: meet him? What are you jealous about?
Speaker 3: John?
Speaker 2: But you do it because you're trying to make your
Speaker 2: partner jealous. It's like this passive aggressive way to get
Speaker 2: away with making them a jealous that you're like, well,
Speaker 2: I can't really ever be.
Speaker 3: With them, but it's a shitty thing to do.
Speaker 2: I would never do that on purpose unless I was
Speaker 2: like a really bad version of myself. But I wasn't
Speaker 2: doing this on purpose. It was truly a gas deep
Speaker 2: from within me that that's like where I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I know I'm not gay, you know, like there's a
Speaker 2: moment like that that comes out of me where I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes I question if I could. I'm probably like,
Speaker 2: I think twenty percent gay, And that confirmed the other
Speaker 2: eighty percent hardcore was that just came out of me.
Speaker 3: The huge jacked man.
Speaker 2: The huge jackman. And have you guys ever dated someone
Speaker 2: who has made like comments about celebrities or like just
Speaker 2: little things that ego are like are so annoying and you're.
Speaker 6: Like, oh, really do you think she's you think she real?
Speaker 3: Everyone likes her?
Speaker 2: Dum anyone.
Speaker 4: No, I'm trying to think I'd like someone who's intentionally
Speaker 4: cruel like that, Like.
Speaker 2: Like, no, they're but they're getting away with it. It's
Speaker 2: such it's such a good move. It's it's someone who's
Speaker 2: very smart about being a piece of shit because they
Speaker 2: have the excuse that it's just she's a beautiful woman,
Speaker 2: she's a model on TV.
Speaker 3: What am I not.
Speaker 2: Supposed to No one should look like that. No one
Speaker 2: does look like that, Babe. I wouldn't expect you. But
Speaker 2: they're just doing it to get you a little bit.
Speaker 3: No, we don't know any You're good looking, so why
Speaker 3: even bother?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I have a joke about it, So I'm
Speaker 2: sorry to share my Djokovic about it. But didn't he
Speaker 2: just win finals? Nah, well here's my Djokovic. Well, because
Speaker 2: this really happened to me. A guy like right after
Speaker 2: we had hooked up, was on his TikTok and was
Speaker 2: going through and he saw j Lo and he goes, God,
Speaker 2: she's how it And I was just like, kid, I
Speaker 2: called him out for it. I was like, that's really
Speaker 2: I go. I What I said was can you not?
Speaker 2: And I'm really apologize if you hear this in my
Speaker 2: act And I'm not trying to tell the story to
Speaker 2: be like give you a little trailer of coming to
Speaker 2: see me live. But this is a joke I do
Speaker 2: in my act, and I'll try to make it more conversational.
Speaker 4: This weekend in Chicago, and yeah, Chicago, Yes, come to
Speaker 4: get tickets.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be so exciting. But I don't even know
Speaker 2: if I'll tell this joke on stage. I'd probably tell
Speaker 2: it one every ten shows.
Speaker 3: But he this is one hundred percent true.
Speaker 2: I had just given him pleasure and to completion, right,
Speaker 2: And I'm cuddling afterwards with him and watching him him
Speaker 2: on his phone and he pulls. J Lo comes up
Speaker 2: and he goes, God, she's hot, like just under his breath,
Speaker 2: almost like I can't help it, kind of thing, like
Speaker 2: the way I did with Q Jackman. But I knew
Speaker 2: that it wasn't just involuntary like sorry, I can't help it, babe,
Speaker 2: she's hot, because it's.
Speaker 3: Different than a sentence for all, even if it was a.
Speaker 2: Gasp, anything that comes from that place of like, man,
Speaker 2: she's hot, that's a horniness, right, Yeah, I had just
Speaker 2: his horniness was inside me. And if you have no
Speaker 2: semen in your balls anymore, you have nothing in you.
Speaker 2: Your body is not sending signals to your brain to
Speaker 2: go to lust after women, men who men who are
Speaker 2: listening after you come. Is there anything in you that
Speaker 2: would be so horny that you couldn't help but say, God,
Speaker 2: she's so hot literally a minute after you come. No,
Speaker 2: it was completely done to be to send a message
Speaker 2: to me please leave and you I don't really like
Speaker 2: you that much. And I said to him, I was like,
Speaker 2: can you please? I really did say this because I
Speaker 2: was trying to practice telling my feelings to men more
Speaker 2: than I usually do, because my whole theory is that
Speaker 2: I don't know. I always think that if you tell
Speaker 2: men how you feel in a relationship and you're like,
Speaker 2: I don't like when you do this, they'll just leave
Speaker 2: you because they'll go, well, that's the way I do it.
Speaker 6: What are you doing?
Speaker 2: So I said to him, can you not say other
Speaker 2: women are hot when your semen is still in my
Speaker 2: upper digestive? And that is literally what I said, And
Speaker 2: I said it in a joky way. Even though I
Speaker 2: stood up for myself, I still was saying like, I
Speaker 2: was still like I have come and me I stuck
Speaker 2: your kick. I'm a little cum baby whore. Like it
Speaker 2: was still like me being like but remember, even though
Speaker 2: I'm confronting you and a little bit mad, I'm still
Speaker 2: a little.
Speaker 3: Come baby, I'm on fire.
Speaker 2: Come come, And so he laughed, and then he truly said,
Speaker 2: no matter where my com is, it's never going to
Speaker 2: change the fact that.
Speaker 3: Jalo is hot.
Speaker 2: She's always going to be hot, no matter where it
Speaker 2: is in the world's never going to be anywhere near her. Yes, well,
Speaker 2: he he had before, and so he was kind of
Speaker 2: that was so nice.
Speaker 4: And though it's like, this is who I am. If
Speaker 4: you want to date me, this is who I am.
Speaker 4: That's what he's doing all met So many men do
Speaker 4: this in the beginning of dating. They just show you
Speaker 4: who they are so that you know, like this is
Speaker 4: the ship. One of my friends was texting with the
Speaker 4: guy early on and it was just like, what are
Speaker 4: you up to And he said something like, well, doing
Speaker 4: my favorite stuff, like so my kids did this and
Speaker 4: watched porn. And I'm like, he's just letting you know right.
Speaker 2: Now so you can't get too mad at him later, right,
Speaker 2: That's so true. And yeah, this guy was telling me
Speaker 2: who he was. And I left shortly after that and
Speaker 2: was just like bye, Like I was. I was proud
Speaker 2: of myself for being like bye and like slammed the door.
Speaker 2: I mean I pursued it for too long after that,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I mean loud and clear.
Speaker 3: But he still hasn't fucked j Lo Hasie.
Speaker 2: Probably not. No, No, there's no fucking chance. All right,
Speaker 2: we're gonna go to break. We're gonna come back after this.
Speaker 2: I want to talk about football, of all things. I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry to the girl in the room that doesn't
Speaker 2: want to hear about football. Okay, we're back. Last night
Speaker 2: was Monday night?
Speaker 3: Was Monday?
Speaker 4: Yeah, shout out to September eleventh.
Speaker 2: Yes, never forget September eleventh. Happy, But today is Thursday. Yes,
Speaker 2: today is September fourteenth, Yes, but we're recording this on
Speaker 2: a Tuesday, So yesterday was Monday Night.
Speaker 6: Football.
Speaker 2: I I think everyone here would know, and probably have
Speaker 2: all my listeners. I don't understand anything about football. I
Speaker 2: don't get it. It's confusing. I can't follow the ball.
Speaker 2: Everyone looks the same. It's too many players on the field.
Speaker 2: I can't. I don't understand literally anything about it. Taylor,
Speaker 2: do you can you follow a football game?
Speaker 3: Pretty well? It almost never even touches a foot the ball.
Speaker 2: There's kicking.
Speaker 3: Oh I never seen that, so I guess I don't
Speaker 3: know anything. Do you like the one.
Speaker 2: Downs and the yard lines and like line of sidage
Speaker 2: and like penalties? Taylor does not know? Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 3: The only time I ever watched it was in high school.
Speaker 2: When you guys watch a football game, what and you
Speaker 2: try to understand it is? Is there anything that you understand?
Speaker 4: Like the first part of that sentence I can't relate to.
Speaker 2: You've never tried to watch a football game. You've never
Speaker 2: been watch high football game.
Speaker 4: I was forced to cheer for football players for a
Speaker 4: year of my life or a season I was.
Speaker 7: I also about Taylor and I were both on the girls,
Speaker 7: so we didn't watch because we were just boys and
Speaker 7: painting our faces and just liked leading cheers.
Speaker 3: And arranging the boys to spell penis with their chests.
Speaker 2: Oh right, yeah, because it was Pioneers Pioneer Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I forgot about that.
Speaker 3: I still have the picture. I think I should find
Speaker 3: and send it to him.
Speaker 2: Okay, but okay, Brian's last night, I was watching with Chris,
Speaker 2: and Brian likes football, and I was kind of inspired
Speaker 2: because last weekend. Last week we went to Brian's house,
Speaker 2: Me and Chris in La and his apartment, his lovely
Speaker 2: apartment with his lovely wife and his adorable dog, Allie
Speaker 2: and Jack, and we watched Thursday Night Football.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah it was NFL Kickoff. Was the first
Speaker 5: game of the.
Speaker 2: Season, NFL Kickoffs.
Speaker 3: And every night it's like.
Speaker 6: No, no, it's not every night.
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, they it is increasing in days just
Speaker 5: to make money, but it is. The big day is
Speaker 5: on Sunday, and then there's Monday Night football, and then
Speaker 5: there's now they added Thursday Night Football, which people aren't
Speaker 5: happy about.
Speaker 6: The players aren't happy.
Speaker 2: How do they differ? Why are the why are the
Speaker 2: players not having.
Speaker 5: Because it's too short of a rest week and more
Speaker 5: people tend to get injured on Thursday night because it's
Speaker 5: they don't only have four days to rest between a
Speaker 5: Sunday game a Thursday game.
Speaker 3: Gotcha, okay about it?
Speaker 2: So we're watching football. So I was inspired by Ali,
Speaker 2: who is Brian's wife, who like understands football, is like
Speaker 2: passionate about it, like they're both excited to watch it together.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, man, I have a boyfriend who's just
Speaker 2: as passionate about football as Brian is. It would be
Speaker 2: nice if like he had an alley in his life
Speaker 2: that could like understand it and like follow along with him.
Speaker 2: And he had it on on I guess Sunday Night,
Speaker 2: and I was I just don't like Chris Collings worst voice.
Speaker 3: It just sounds like he just felt like how it sounds,
Speaker 3: and it's just like it's like he always has like
Speaker 3: a bubble and buff and like a thick neck from
Speaker 3: being a football buff man.
Speaker 2: I don't know was was he. I'm guessing he was
Speaker 2: a football player, Brian, Yeah, player.
Speaker 6: It just sound.
Speaker 2: I can't do it a good impression because it just
Speaker 2: hurts my throat. But his voice doesn't. It's almost comical
Speaker 2: that it bothers me. It doesn't really bother me that much.
Speaker 2: But I love Joe Buck, love, love love Joe Buck.
Speaker 2: He does money.
Speaker 5: That is a controversial statement.
Speaker 2: He's well, you know what, it shouldn't be because I
Speaker 2: know Joe Buck personally and he is one of the
Speaker 2: greatest people I've ever met. He is a friend of mine.
Speaker 2: He is a true friend. He is a good person.
Speaker 2: He is so funny. He's one of the funniest people
Speaker 2: outside of comedy that I've ever met. I originally became
Speaker 2: a fan of his because I had no idea who
Speaker 2: he was.
Speaker 4: I sports related, and he's like an old Jack Buck.
Speaker 6: With his dad.
Speaker 2: Was his dad that did Cardinals announcing, But Joe does
Speaker 2: baseball and football and I'm sure other stuff. But I
Speaker 2: first heard Joe Buck on Howard Stern Show and he
Speaker 2: was doing the commentator, like the commentating for JD one
Speaker 2: of these people on the show eating a cheese steak
Speaker 2: or something, and it was just so funny that he
Speaker 2: was doing the play by play of this guy, the
Speaker 2: sloppy guy, like eating food, and I thought it was
Speaker 2: so funny and I was like, this is the first
Speaker 2: time I've ever been interested in anything sports related. Was
Speaker 2: this Joe Buck guy. He also was getting a hair
Speaker 2: transplant and had was getting when during the hair transplant
Speaker 2: they gave him like a tube down his throat for
Speaker 2: the anesesia during the process, and it damaged his vocal
Speaker 2: cords in such a way that he couldn't speak afterwards,
Speaker 2: like he lost his whole voice. And he is a commentator,
Speaker 2: like he's that his voice is him and so he
Speaker 2: had to go get vocal cord surgery. He was actually
Speaker 2: the one that sent me to my vocal cord surgeon,
Speaker 2: the best in the nation. Who's done? Adele, Who's done?
Speaker 2: John Mayer, Who's done?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: That one guy that sings off Stop Shop, off that top,
Speaker 2: Sam Smith? You know that song. Anyway, He's become such
Speaker 2: a good friend of mine.
Speaker 6: I love him so much.
Speaker 2: So last night I woke up from a nap at
Speaker 2: like seven point thirty and I walk out in the
Speaker 2: kitchen and Chris is watching football, and I go, is
Speaker 2: that Joe Boock Because like, his voice.
Speaker 6: Just is like a sousing.
Speaker 2: I fucking love him. Is a Cardinals He does the Cardinals,
Speaker 2: but he does like I love.
Speaker 3: A Cardinals guy, one of them.
Speaker 2: Really.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I listened to it in the car.
Speaker 2: He has He's just the best guy. I just love
Speaker 2: him so much that you know when you just like
Speaker 2: hear someone you like love and you're just like, my
Speaker 2: friend is like doing this the thing that is watched
Speaker 2: by the most people. My friend is his voice is
Speaker 2: talking the whole time. And so that made me kind
Speaker 2: of want to get involved, because I'm like, I'll watch
Speaker 2: anything Joe Buck does. And so I was like, Chris,
Speaker 2: will you explain football to me? I know, we tried
Speaker 2: this before, let's do it again. And so he got
Speaker 2: out of he pulled up on his iPad like a
Speaker 2: picture of the football field, and we talked about downs,
Speaker 2: and he ran a fake game to be like, okay,
Speaker 2: so what down would it be and what it would be?
Speaker 2: Blank and blank, and I'd be like, okay, it's second
Speaker 2: and three. Okay, now they got a penalty, so they
Speaker 2: lost five yards now and I would be like, okay,
Speaker 2: now it's third and two. And so I think I
Speaker 2: got it. I think I understand. Okay, well, basically first
Speaker 2: and that means it's the first down and you gotta
Speaker 2: get ten.
Speaker 4: Yards, yeah, ten or FirstRand.
Speaker 6: For any sport.
Speaker 5: If you want to understand any sport, just like anything,
Speaker 5: you need the proper motivation and the only motivation.
Speaker 6: There's two ways you can motivate Joe Buck. Two ways
Speaker 6: you can motivate.
Speaker 5: Yourself properly for a sport, and that is pick a
Speaker 5: team that you like and root for them, because then
Speaker 5: you'll be invested in knowing the rules because you want
Speaker 5: them to win. If the ref fucks up and fus
Speaker 5: your team, you'll be like, you didn't know the fucking
Speaker 5: rule ref?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I told Chris, I want to be
Speaker 2: someone that goes like.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 2: To be out of Buffalo wild Wings and go I
Speaker 2: want to do it because I can do it, but
Speaker 2: I'm always a second behind everyone else because I want
Speaker 2: to make sure that I'm doing it on the right time.
Speaker 3: I've done it the wrong time right.
Speaker 2: It sucks when you do it for the wrong team.
Speaker 2: So I want to be able to And then I
Speaker 2: I was also motivated by I saw I send it
Speaker 2: to Noah and Anya a clip of a bunch of
Speaker 2: famous people watching tennis.
Speaker 6: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: It was like Cara Delavine and like Nicole ki Men
Speaker 2: and they're and make the Kaling and they're Amanda Seifred
Speaker 2: and they're going back and forth watching and they they
Speaker 2: all like at the same time, we're like oh, and
Speaker 2: like tennis is easier to understand, like when it's like oh,
Speaker 2: but there's like lots of little rules in there where
Speaker 2: it's like the ball can maybe go on the line
Speaker 2: and that's okay.
Speaker 3: I don't know any of that stuff.
Speaker 2: And I was like, if these bitches can understand this,
Speaker 2: I gotta get in on this, Like there's gotta be
Speaker 2: something fun about this.
Speaker 6: I want to so Brian.
Speaker 2: The thing that I'm a little confounded about, though, is
Speaker 2: I don't care about learning the positions, Like I don't
Speaker 2: care about learning wide receiver. I don't care about learning
Speaker 2: you know, uh, the defensive line, the I don't care
Speaker 2: about the I don't care about that those certain positions.
Speaker 2: What is the position of the guy? What's the guy
Speaker 2: that is the quarterback? And then he tosses it to
Speaker 2: that gap they're running back. I don't care. And I
Speaker 2: also turned to understand why why do they do that
Speaker 2: where they have to talk sit through their legs? What
Speaker 2: a dumb little.
Speaker 3: Gay rule, I see.
Speaker 2: I mean gay in the sense that it's men who
Speaker 2: have sex with each other. I don't.
Speaker 5: Quarterback literally has to stick his fingers in the center's grundle.
Speaker 6: It has to be.
Speaker 2: That when they get right under. Chris told me, the
Speaker 2: running back comes and he's just like sitting.
Speaker 5: Right sitting right under the center's ass ready for the high.
Speaker 5: It's just a what is that called snap behind?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's what What is the point of tossing it
Speaker 2: through your legs?
Speaker 3: Do we know?
Speaker 2: Is there any point to it? Is it just like, well,
Speaker 2: what's the point?
Speaker 5: Well, if I was going to get into the history
Speaker 5: of it. Then there's a lineman that needs to protect
Speaker 5: the quarterback, and you could just hand the ball to
Speaker 5: the quarterbacks that he has the ball, but then he
Speaker 5: would get hit immediately because there's no one protecting him.
Speaker 5: So there has to be a you need that time,
Speaker 5: a big giant guy who's standing up where the ball
Speaker 5: is and he has to throw it back to the
Speaker 5: guy behind him that really needs to have the ball.
Speaker 5: So the big giant guy can protect the guy who
Speaker 5: needs the ball from the other big guy.
Speaker 2: Is helpful. I just want things to make sense, and
Speaker 2: a lot of things don't. Like Chris was talking to
Speaker 2: me about like it's if there if anything but their
Speaker 2: hands touch the ground, it means that it's a fumble.
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, what if they're why wouldn't
Speaker 2: their hands why so why wouldn't you always just lay?
Speaker 2: I couldn't understand the hand thing. He's like, because your
Speaker 2: hand can be used to like propel, you could still
Speaker 2: be going with your hand on all fours like that
Speaker 2: little horse girl.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's what I don't understand. If you understand all just
Speaker 2: oh you've never seen the girl that runs in all
Speaker 2: fours like a horse. No, you know I want to see.
Speaker 2: I know you're off the grid and you just have
Speaker 2: a flip bone. There's so many fucking crazy things happening on.
Speaker 3: You've never seen it either.
Speaker 2: The old that can run like a horse on all fours.
Speaker 2: Have you seen it, Bryan's it's sexy. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: I'll pull it up for you. I'm not trying to
Speaker 2: football or anything. She's like probably in her late teens. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: but she jumps over things too, like a horse like,
Speaker 2: she'll jump over those like little senses. You just made
Speaker 2: a horse sound?
Speaker 3: She eat apples?
Speaker 2: You made?
Speaker 6: You didn't the next generation. You're all trying to be
Speaker 6: little animals.
Speaker 2: But Brian, can I ask you this and we'll close
Speaker 2: up this talk. Final thought, Brian, did someone sit you
Speaker 2: down and tell you these rules? Because I don't know
Speaker 2: how people. I even ask Chris las Night, I go,
Speaker 2: do you think Ali like someone sat her down with
Speaker 2: an iPad? Or like drew a football.
Speaker 6: Just from watching? Well, for me, I played I.
Speaker 3: Could watch it a thousand years and not on the
Speaker 3: stard I.
Speaker 5: Played football video game Madden. And so you learn the
Speaker 5: rules that way, you learn all the players that way.
Speaker 5: But then also you just sit down, you watch, you
Speaker 5: root for your team, and now I gambles, and then
Speaker 5: I know everything about everybody. All those things combined over
Speaker 5: the course of you have to understand over the course
Speaker 5: of what's it now, like twenty years, twenty five years
Speaker 5: I've been watching this, so of course some of that's
Speaker 5: going to sink in over that amount of time.
Speaker 2: No matter what, is there anything that do you remember
Speaker 2: though in your formative years where.
Speaker 6: I just feel like, yeah, maybe other bros.
Speaker 2: Everyone is just born with everything about football in their
Speaker 2: head already, Like do you remember being like, well, dad,
Speaker 2: why did he just get that? Why are they now
Speaker 2: going to the side of the thing, And why is
Speaker 2: the clock still running when there's no action going Like
Speaker 2: questions like that that have confounded me.
Speaker 6: Why does the clock keeping.
Speaker 2: Going on?
Speaker 6: That is confounded.
Speaker 2: Players are all walking around like they're socialized.
Speaker 5: That rule keeps changing, and so I relate to your confoundedness,
Speaker 5: like why is the clock run?
Speaker 2: Does it stop? The guy that runs the clock.
Speaker 5: As sleep and that can make things even more complicated.
Speaker 5: In college football, the rules are different. So if you're
Speaker 5: watching a college football game, it's like, well, now the
Speaker 5: clock doesn't stop that's no, but no, I do have
Speaker 5: so much. There's exciting things that happened in football over
Speaker 5: this weekend that were not game related that I think
Speaker 5: you'd be interested in. So to start off this weekend,
Speaker 5: I'm going to Dallas because every year my high school
Speaker 5: friends go to a Jets away game somewhere in the
Speaker 5: country so they can go to all the different state
Speaker 5: of and see their favorite team, the New York Jets,
Speaker 5: play against another team in an away stadium. This year,
Speaker 5: they're going to Dallas to see the Cowboys play the Jets.
Speaker 6: And so I'm going this weekend. Oh, at NRG Field,
Speaker 6: I guess, So is that what it is? That from
Speaker 6: Taylor Swift knowledge.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I've been to all these football stadiums
Speaker 2: now because of Taylor Swift.
Speaker 6: But yeah, but yeah, so we're going.
Speaker 5: We're going to the Dallas Cowboys stadium this weekend to see. Now,
Speaker 5: the big thing about the Jets is that they got
Speaker 5: a brand new quarterback this year, Aaron Rodgers, who.
Speaker 6: Is a Hall of Famer king he got injured.
Speaker 5: The Packers and the Jets have not won the Super
Speaker 5: Bowl since nineteen sixty nine. So if you're a Jets fan,
Speaker 5: This is like every year is just hell for you. You're
Speaker 5: just watching your team get dominated. And this year was
Speaker 5: the first year ever that they had a quarterback that
Speaker 5: could potentially take them to the super Bowl, and everyone
Speaker 5: was sighted and it was all built up.
Speaker 6: That's not the story though. So okay, So, as you
Speaker 6: may have seen.
Speaker 5: Uh last night Monday Night football, three plays into Aaron Rodgers'
Speaker 5: tenure as a New York Jet, he tears his achilles
Speaker 5: and he's out for the season.
Speaker 6: What yes, I didn't know that to his achilles.
Speaker 5: He's out for This is all the Jets fans, Oh
Speaker 5: my goal. They spent twenty five million dollars in caps
Speaker 5: based on this guy and three plays he's done for
Speaker 5: the season.
Speaker 6: His career is most likely over now.
Speaker 2: And this was the only because he already just because
Speaker 2: is a giant, giant tendon.
Speaker 6: An achilles tear.
Speaker 2: It is. Yeah, he's out at least.
Speaker 5: For three He's out for the year for sure, and
Speaker 5: then he probably will There's football players who get achilles
Speaker 5: tears and they can never come back and play again
Speaker 5: because not only does it takes a devastating injury, but
Speaker 5: also and he wasn't even the only guy who tore
Speaker 5: his achilles this week, and a running back also did
Speaker 5: it too. Usually, if you tear your achilles, you cannot
Speaker 5: come back and play.
Speaker 2: To the remember on pet cemetery when the kid like
Speaker 2: cuts the guy's achilles on the stairs and he just.
Speaker 6: Goes devastating injury, usually you can't.
Speaker 4: Can your team get their money back or at least
Speaker 4: to store credit?
Speaker 5: No, why do you want the team like the players
Speaker 5: should get money? I mean he played, he still tore
Speaker 5: his achilles. You know you gotta give.
Speaker 4: But they spent all this money on him, acquired assurance
Speaker 4: for that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but that's like take. That's like saying that's like take,
Speaker 5: that's taking away money from the worker. Aaron Rodgers is
Speaker 5: the guy doing the work. He put his body on
Speaker 5: the line, he tore his achilles on the job.
Speaker 4: He should still keep the money. But so, why am
Speaker 4: I feeling for the big guy?
Speaker 2: I don't think you're feeling for them. You're just thinking logically,
Speaker 2: like if you spent something on something and it got injured.
Speaker 3: We want some emotion to go into this feminine energy.
Speaker 5: Okay, so this guy's hurt, the Jets fans are devastated,
Speaker 5: and now on top of that, personally, I've got to
Speaker 5: fly to Dallas to watch some backup quarterback get trounced
Speaker 5: by the Cowboys. This is gonna stuck. But here's the
Speaker 5: really interesting thing. There's controversy because the Jets, which I also,
Speaker 5: share the same stadium with the Giants.
Speaker 6: Okay, it's the same stadium. They just switch off there
Speaker 6: Gellette Field or something. I think. So this is where
Speaker 6: you can come in handy watching the game.
Speaker 3: Get do you know how the distance and like all
Speaker 3: the treachery could that's where Taylor Sailors listen.
Speaker 6: I don't know who's winning the game right now.
Speaker 3: I.
Speaker 2: Space. I just know everywhere she sings and I can
Speaker 2: talk about plays that way. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So not only do I have to watch the shitty game,
Speaker 5: but so on this field, the Jets and Giants share
Speaker 5: the field. It's MetLife MetLife Stadium and the field. There's
Speaker 5: controversy because the field is made of turf. It's a
Speaker 5: turf field and a lot of the time, a lot
Speaker 5: of time the fields are made of grass, which are
Speaker 5: harder to maintain. But people have been saying four years
Speaker 5: that the field is horrible to play on. It causes
Speaker 5: injuries all the time, and the players have been begging
Speaker 5: for them to change this field from turf to grass
Speaker 5: and uh. In fact, in twenty twenty six, the World
Speaker 5: Cup is coming to America and for twenty twenty six
Speaker 5: for the fucking soccer players who have demanded it. For
Speaker 5: some reason, they are changing that field from turf to grass.
Speaker 3: They did it on purpose. It's a conspiracy.
Speaker 6: I believe they all.
Speaker 5: Agree that the turf field is bad, but they left
Speaker 5: it there and they're changing it for the soccer players.
Speaker 5: Three hours before the game started, this guy on Twitter
Speaker 5: three hours before, many hours before the game started.
Speaker 2: Sorry, Brian, it was the Monday night game played on
Speaker 2: this field.
Speaker 5: The Monday night game was played on this turf field. Okay,
Speaker 5: thank Everyone's said like this is bad for the players,
Speaker 5: and then it was raining outside.
Speaker 2: How many fields are turf in bands?
Speaker 5: I can't answer that, but they are slow. Like Detroit's
Speaker 5: field changed recently. They are trying to change out the
Speaker 5: fields to not be turf anymore.
Speaker 2: Crazy. They would each have different I know the tennis
Speaker 2: to play on different kinds of quarts, but like, why
Speaker 2: not keep it consistent? That's insane.
Speaker 5: Field manus NFL teams are indoors and some are outdoors
Speaker 5: and like if it's snowing.
Speaker 2: That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a cold night at Lambeau's.
Speaker 6: Yeah is that a well?
Speaker 2: Whenever I would wear this, Chris would make fun of me,
Speaker 2: because when we used to do shoots outside for Not Safe,
Speaker 2: I would wear this gigantic long down jacket that goes
Speaker 2: all the way down to my ankles, like black down,
Speaker 2: and whenever I wear it, he'd say it's a cold
Speaker 2: night because I guess I looked like, I guess they
Speaker 2: wear those jackets down to their legs. Is that down
Speaker 2: to their ankles?
Speaker 6: Yeah, sometimes they do do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so that's how I know it's a cold night.
Speaker 2: A lot again another field, I know, Okay.
Speaker 6: Go on, Oh it's good.
Speaker 2: So this conspiracy on Twitter three hours before the game.
Speaker 5: On Twitter three hours before this random guy, random guy
Speaker 5: whose name happens to be at Daddy Zaslov and his
Speaker 5: Twitter name is David Zaslov, which is just like sposed
Speaker 5: to be funny.
Speaker 2: Wait, Daddy's Aslov is what Tim Dillon calls.
Speaker 5: Uh yeah, maybe he's a Tim Dillon fan.
Speaker 2: I'm sure he is.
Speaker 5: This guy tweets out I quote Aaron Rodgers is going
Speaker 5: to tear his achilles on a rain drenched MetLife turf
Speaker 5: in two and a half hours.
Speaker 3: See it's a spear. I knew it. I can.
Speaker 5: He tweeted that and then two and a half hours
Speaker 5: later to take a fall three.
Speaker 6: Well, that would be why would they do?
Speaker 5: Why would that be a conspiracy like that would be
Speaker 5: horrible for the game.
Speaker 6: It's horrible for the NFL.
Speaker 3: It's hard him to take him Why.
Speaker 6: Why that's kind for the game? That's bad for him
Speaker 6: because a rich.
Speaker 2: Guy. Yeah, what do you think it is? Brian?
Speaker 5: This guy, I think he knew about the turf and
Speaker 5: that it was that and he was just predictably taking
Speaker 5: a shot out of all the millions of people who
Speaker 5: tweeted about the game.
Speaker 6: He just happened to be correct.
Speaker 5: But what I don't understand is you look at that
Speaker 5: same Twitter account today and for some reason, that guy's
Speaker 5: Twitter account has been.
Speaker 3: Banned, no due because it's tweet.
Speaker 6: Has been deleted and he's been banned.
Speaker 4: Why.
Speaker 3: No one knows, because because I don't know.
Speaker 2: And by the way, this is we're all talking about
Speaker 2: x now, right, Twitter is not the way.
Speaker 3: It's not Twitter anymore.
Speaker 6: It's called X.
Speaker 4: It's weird that he said in the hour see exactly
Speaker 4: right on the that's.
Speaker 6: When the game started, so pretty close.
Speaker 4: And it happened right then.
Speaker 6: I mean it happened about three minutes into the game.
Speaker 4: Don't you think that's also a great guess.
Speaker 6: Yes, that's why this tweets viewed millions of years.
Speaker 2: There's probably lots of ones that lots of people probably
Speaker 2: made tweets like that that.
Speaker 6: Didn't want exactly right.
Speaker 5: Aaron Rodgers is going to tear his achilles? He said
Speaker 5: the exact injury he knew before, but then it was banned.
Speaker 2: But does he have a week of achilles? Does he
Speaker 2: have history of any kind of achilles?
Speaker 8: Not at all.
Speaker 3: He didn't really tear his achilles. And it's all part
Speaker 3: of the plot.
Speaker 2: What is the plot for?
Speaker 3: I don't even know what football?
Speaker 6: I'm trying to be interesting.
Speaker 5: Is a conspiracy theory that the NFL is scripted, which
Speaker 5: is totally wrong, but like people, do ye.
Speaker 3: Believe it a script?
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, are you guys going to watch the
Speaker 2: MTV movie or Music Awards tonight? Is there any interest there?
Speaker 2: Because I am so excited about it because Taylor might
Speaker 2: be that I'm watching MTV Music Wards because there's just
Speaker 2: rumors she might be there. And where are these rumors
Speaker 2: on Twitter? Or I mean not on sorry, not on
Speaker 2: X They're on Reddit just in the Taylor Swift sub
Speaker 2: There's no way she's actually gonna go. I was thinking,
Speaker 2: there's probably a million people that are going to watch
Speaker 2: this just for the off chance she does show.
Speaker 3: Does she not go?
Speaker 2: And she's nominated for eleven awards?
Speaker 1: Is will well Nicki Minaj be at the I don't
Speaker 1: think she was listed when I saw the rundown, but
Speaker 1: I could be wrong about that.
Speaker 4: Why because Daddy has a lot of just tweeted it
Speaker 4: she's going.
Speaker 7: To be there.
Speaker 1: There's a rumor that they have a collab going, so
Speaker 1: the Barbs and the Swifties are.
Speaker 2: About to collide into the What the Barbs? Is that
Speaker 2: her fan group?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, I think the Selena's Selena Gomez is people. Their
Speaker 2: group is called the Senators.
Speaker 3: Do you know why? That's a really good Selena Gomez?
Speaker 2: Is this a good one too?
Speaker 4: Have you been watching Only Murders season?
Speaker 2: That's really good?
Speaker 4: Anya, my god, I'm riding the elevator separately from your
Speaker 4: Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, that made me have I know, her voice is
Speaker 2: so soothing. It's pretty good. Okay, So I talked about
Speaker 2: so I think I figured have a grasp on football.
Speaker 2: Chris is gonna keep tutoring me. He got really into it.
Speaker 2: It was really fun to have your boyfriend explain something
Speaker 2: to you. It would be like me getting to explain
Speaker 2: like Taylor Swift stuff to him. More like I'm trying
Speaker 2: to think of when I explained something to him that
Speaker 2: really got me worked up. But a lot of times
Speaker 2: I like, if you want to have a good time
Speaker 2: with your man, ask them to explain something they care
Speaker 2: passionately about and let them like demonstrate it and get
Speaker 2: up and like draw diagrams and things like that. Like
Speaker 2: I think he had a really good time with it.
Speaker 4: And I'm really dumb and surprised, Like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: I really I was dumb.
Speaker 5: But otherwise it gets frustrating.
Speaker 2: Ye know, I got he was a crowday.
Speaker 4: I can see you wild Wings being that girl. I
Speaker 4: could see it.
Speaker 2: I I really do, because I listen. I'm a passionate person.
Speaker 2: I really love to care about things and root for things.
Speaker 2: And I've always felt my whole life that the that
Speaker 2: I don't enjoy sports. There's something missing, like there is
Speaker 2: something fun about root like even though it is fleeting.
Speaker 2: And I really would argue that most people can't even
Speaker 2: remember what happened in a game they really cared about
Speaker 2: four months ago that they were screaming about, like breaking
Speaker 2: things about that.
Speaker 3: It just doesn't matter. I wait to find something I
Speaker 3: love so much that I breaks.
Speaker 2: What is Taylor? What is your thing that you care
Speaker 2: the most about? I recently that we should. I just
Speaker 2: got asked because I'm doing Ellie Kemper's podcast next week
Speaker 2: and it's called Born to Love and it's like we
Speaker 2: talk about things you love on it, and so they
Speaker 2: asked my assistant like or you know, they asked my people, like,
Speaker 2: give us a list of things that she loves, and
Speaker 2: I said Columbine and Taylor Swift and so Ellie Kemper
Speaker 2: reading that made me so laugh to think about her
Speaker 2: getting an email being like she sure that she said
Speaker 2: Columbine very like music. We can't talk about that. You know,
Speaker 2: everyone loves different things like her just being very She's
Speaker 2: such a positive person. But I was struggling to come
Speaker 2: up with, So your your passionate, most passionate thing is
Speaker 2: Joan Benet.
Speaker 3: Uh, yeah, murder psychology stuff.
Speaker 2: When Casey Anthony's verdict? Were you like at Buffalo Wild?
Speaker 3: I mean you can see a lot of good video
Speaker 3: clubs of people.
Speaker 2: Do you remember the O J Verdict?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I do.
Speaker 2: I was in sixth I was in the seventh grade, No,
Speaker 2: sixth grade, and probably in seven Yeah, I remember that
Speaker 2: was a big fucking day. We were in gym class
Speaker 2: and we had the radio playing. We can all listen
Speaker 2: to yeah, to.
Speaker 3: Watch them because the teachers had to and they were.
Speaker 2: Pretend it would need to be help. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I remember all the black kids were happy and all
Speaker 2: the white kids were sad. I was happy because we
Speaker 2: went to the school like we we had a lot
Speaker 2: of kids from yes, uh the city and also you know,
Speaker 2: from the county, but mostly from the city. And I
Speaker 2: remember just how divided it was and it was not
Speaker 2: it was it was such a man. Do you remember
Speaker 2: the ESPN OJ documentary Did you ever see that?
Speaker 3: Probably? Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's so good when that when there was an OJ
Speaker 2: resurgence of like the OJ show, the true American crime
Speaker 2: story that was happening, and then also the ESPN documentary
Speaker 2: Brian you can have an Emmy twenty sevent sixteen seventeen.
Speaker 2: That was the fifteen best time of TV ever. All Right,
Speaker 2: we gotta go. Thank you guys for listening to the podcast.
Speaker 2: Come see me this weekend in Chicago. I cannot wait.
Speaker 2: There are tons of shows.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: San Francisco is being announced. October twentieth added a second show,
Speaker 2: so I'll see you in San Francisco as well. On
Speaker 2: you will be there special guests as well. New I'm
Speaker 2: saying as well, a lot like that girl that was
Speaker 2: like and the maps and I read this well and
Speaker 2: New Merch so excited about that. Thank you for listening
Speaker 2: to the show. Don't be Ka and Digit Johnny