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Speaker 1: School of Humans.

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Speaker 2: This is Queer Chronicles.

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Speaker 3: This is my personal entry Queer.

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Speaker 4: This is Queer Chronicles. My community is the people in

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Speaker 4: my real life and the people that are deeply important

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Speaker 4: to me online that are almost majority queer, just because

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Speaker 4: those are the people that I talk to.

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Speaker 1: Safe spaces. You may have heard the term nowadays. They're

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Speaker 1: mentioned casually, almost like a joke by some, but safety,

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Speaker 1: especially for lgbtquth is something that often has to be

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Speaker 1: demanded or at the very least curated, because the rest

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Speaker 1: of the world isn't always as affirming as it should be.

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Speaker 2: I meditate a lot, and I have a lot of

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Speaker 2: like protective crystals all over my room, and they just

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Speaker 2: make me feel like grounded and calm.

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Speaker 1: That safety we're talking about often dovetails with another buzzy word,

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Speaker 1: self care, And yet again, we deserve outlets to freely

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Speaker 1: and fully express our ideas, desires, and fears. This safety

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Speaker 1: thing isn't some special privilege. It's essential.

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Speaker 3: No. I feel really safe in these spaces and with

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Speaker 3: these people because they affirm me, they support me, and

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Speaker 3: they love it, and they're always looking out for me

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Speaker 3: and the other trans people in their community. And I

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Speaker 3: think that's just really beautiful.

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Speaker 1: From School of Humans, The Outspoken Podcast Network, and iHeart Podcasts.

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Speaker 1: This is Queer Chronicle, a show where queer folks document

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Speaker 1: their personal lives and experiences in their own words, and

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Raquel Willis. This season, a group of

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Speaker 1: teenagers are sharing their perspectives on growing up as queer,

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Speaker 1: entrance and gender non conforming while living in mostly red states.

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Speaker 1: In this episode, we're exploring what safety means for our teens.

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Speaker 1: If you were a teen of the early aughts and

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Speaker 1: you had access to a computer, there's a chance that

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Speaker 1: you're no stranger to online chat rooms. The digital world

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Speaker 1: was still kind of new, a wilderness just waiting for

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Speaker 1: folks to make sense of it. I remember those days vividly.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes as soon as I made it home from school,

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Speaker 1: I'd hop online with the slew of faceless strangers from

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Speaker 1: around the world. Conversations flew at lightning speed, with the

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Speaker 1: dizzying mix of acronyms and emoticons. Of course, asl anyone,

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Speaker 1: it was chaotic, but welcoming, a place where I could

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Speaker 1: escape and find other queer youth who were yearning for

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Speaker 1: connection that they couldn't find. Irol Nowadays, in the era

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Speaker 1: of TikTok ig and other platforms, young people are continuing

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Speaker 1: the trend that started nearly two decades ago.

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Speaker 4: Beginning of the year in like January, I joined like

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Speaker 4: a discord server.

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Speaker 1: There's it again, one of the teens you've been hearing

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Speaker 1: from this season.

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Speaker 4: And over time in that discord server, me and a

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Speaker 4: few other people, three other people, we ended up making

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Speaker 4: a separate server that was just us four and I

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Speaker 4: feel safe talking to them, and I feel like I

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Speaker 4: could tell them pretty much anything.

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Speaker 1: I did a similar thing when I was a teen too,

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Speaker 1: but I was on Yahoo and the Aol chat rooms,

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Speaker 1: and if you remember, these platforms were complicated. On one hand,

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Speaker 1: you could share your most intimate thoughts with folks who

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Speaker 1: had similar interests, but it also could get dicey, especially

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Speaker 1: when you didn't know if people actually were who they

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Speaker 1: said they were. Similarly, for it, online spaces were both

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Speaker 1: revelatory and risky.

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Speaker 4: The queer community online has been like very bumpy because

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Speaker 4: I was given, like you know, unrestricted access to the

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Speaker 4: Internet at the age eleven, and I was raised in

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Speaker 4: a household that was more leaning towards like like a bigoted,

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Speaker 4: like fairly bigoted in a lot of ways, and then

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Speaker 4: as time went on, I kind of fell them all

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Speaker 4: right pipeline online.

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Speaker 1: Well here we are. You may have heard the phrase before,

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Speaker 1: but the quote unquote al right pipeline basically describes being

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Speaker 1: indoctrinated with extremists right wing views. This comes after consuming

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Speaker 1: a string of content that is white supremacists, anti feminists,

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Speaker 1: and just xenophobic altogether. Many platforms serve as breeding grounds

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Speaker 1: for these ideas, including blogs, social media forums, and famously,

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Speaker 1: YouTube videos. The pipeline can be especially alluring if you're

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Speaker 1: feeling emotionally isolated or searching for a sense of identity.

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Speaker 1: For it, this slice of the Internet seemed like an

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Speaker 1: escape and an avenue for connection. Even worse, it was

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Speaker 1: hearing some of the same hateful things at home.

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Speaker 4: At the time. When I was like eleven and twelve,

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Speaker 4: I was in like anti SJW spaces and those were

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Speaker 4: shared with anti theist spaces. I was watching these YouTubers

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Speaker 4: and then I started getting like really obsessive with these YouTubers.

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Speaker 4: I was watching them, Like I said, in school, I

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Speaker 4: was in the library the whole day pretty much doing

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Speaker 4: my school work, and none of it was actually being done.

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Speaker 1: So here's a little more context for why it was

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Speaker 1: in such a vulnerable place. Its parents had just split up,

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Speaker 1: it had moved across the country with its dad to Pennsylvania,

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Speaker 1: then it returned to Arizona to live with its mom,

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Speaker 1: and in short, there was just a lot of instability

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Speaker 1: and emotional turmoil surrounding its family.

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Speaker 4: I was in the deepest depression I probably ever ever

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Speaker 4: rid of my life. So I was really susceptible to

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Speaker 4: all these things. And the reason that I got out

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Speaker 4: of it was selfish. It was because I realized I

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Speaker 4: was trans. That was the reason that I got out

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Speaker 4: of it.

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Speaker 1: The realization that it was transliberated it from all right spaces,

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Speaker 1: and with that it began to take stock of its

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Speaker 1: life away from the digital screen.

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Speaker 4: The online communities I found myself in were conflicting with

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Speaker 4: the real life communities HAS found myself in. I was

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Speaker 4: meeting people with these identities that I had this opinion on,

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Speaker 4: and they were normal people and they were talking to

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Speaker 4: me like normal people. That's where I started seeking out

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Speaker 4: like actual, like affirming communities online when I was like

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Speaker 4: fifteen and sixteen, and I kind of did that thing

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Speaker 4: where like when you change your opinion, did you do

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Speaker 4: like a full one to eighty like hard in the

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Speaker 4: other direction.

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Speaker 1: Finding community IRL unlocked new levels of affirmation for it,

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Speaker 1: and it was able to go back to the Internet

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Speaker 1: with this fresh perspective, seeking out digital spaces that matched

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Speaker 1: that energy.

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Speaker 4: The queer spaces that I agent online now tend to be.

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Speaker 4: I only really use Discord now, and I gravitated specifically

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Speaker 4: towards like two people in it, and then we ended

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Speaker 4: up making our own separate server with like three people

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Speaker 4: and me. And now these are like the closest friends

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Speaker 4: I have in my life, the closest online friends I've

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Speaker 4: ever had that I feel healthy in that relationship, and

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Speaker 4: they're like some of the like people that I trust

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Speaker 4: the most. But I do think it's still important to

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Speaker 4: try to find community in your area that you are

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Speaker 4: able to talk to online, because that's still useful even

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Speaker 4: if you don't meet each other in real life. Talking

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Speaker 4: to someone who understands your community's issues online is super important.

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Speaker 1: Its story feels relatable and unfamiliar all at once. Look,

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Speaker 1: I've never been caught in the al right pipeline, but

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Speaker 1: I've been on the receiving end of hate that has

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Speaker 1: come from that space. And for so long people have

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Speaker 1: said what happens online or on social media isn't real,

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Speaker 1: or that it shouldn't be taken too seriously. But our

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Speaker 1: digital spaces are real and do have a real impact

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Speaker 1: on our emotional, social, and spiritual health. And I'm so

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Speaker 1: glad it has carved out an online space where it

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Speaker 1: can feel fulfilled and connected to the world around it

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Speaker 1: in a safe way.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is like the way that, like the simple,

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Speaker 2: quick way that I learned how to do it.

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Speaker 5: So just.

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Speaker 1: You might remember Libby. She's thirteen and from Texas. Libby's

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Speaker 1: safe space. It's all in the cards. If you can't tell,

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Speaker 1: Libby does Taro, And for the uninformed, Taro uses a

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Speaker 1: particular deck of cards meant to answer your most burning

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Speaker 1: life questions. Now before you dismiss it as to woo

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Speaker 1: woo cards have been used for centuries, and Libby is

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Speaker 1: simply one of the youngest folks to try her hand

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Speaker 1: at figuring out what the universe wants her to know.

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Speaker 2: I started to get into it, all of that kind

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Speaker 2: of stuff when I was in like maybe fourth grade,

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Speaker 2: Like I started really into like crystals, and then I

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Speaker 2: discovered Tourot cards, and I was like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: these are so pretty. I just thought that they were

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Speaker 2: like cool. And I love seeing like all different types

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Speaker 2: of Touro decks with different art And that's one of

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Speaker 2: my favorite things about them, is like the art on

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Speaker 2: the cards. And I have this one deck and like

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Speaker 2: each card has like a different artist's work on it,

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Speaker 2: and I really love that. And they're all queer artists.

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Speaker 1: Libby even let us sit in on a tarot reading

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Speaker 1: she gave to her friends.

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Speaker 4: Oh read, it's so cute.

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Speaker 2: I like it. Yeah, I kind of suck it shuffling. Okay,

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Speaker 2: who wants to go first? Pick a card?

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Speaker 6: Any card?

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Speaker 3: I'll pick this one?

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Speaker 1: Oof?

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Speaker 3: What is mine?

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Speaker 1: The Moon? I lay the moon.

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Speaker 2: The moon has a dark and deep energy that is powerful.

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Speaker 2: It's eerie yet magical beings subtly edged their way through

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Speaker 2: the dark of night as they light your path. But

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Speaker 2: there are fears and doubts inside you that you are

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Speaker 2: holding in place.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate Libby's way of finding connection, and to be honest,

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Speaker 1: I'm no stranger to the ways of the tarot either.

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Speaker 1: The first time I encountered the cards was in college

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Speaker 1: with a group of friends who also loved comparing our

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Speaker 1: birth charts for zodiac insights. I think these tools can

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Speaker 1: help us think differently about a confusing problem in our lives,

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Speaker 1: our relationship, and simply our life trajectory. But aside from Tara,

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Speaker 1: Libby also uses her crystals to help her feel ground it.

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Speaker 2: I meditate a lot, and I have a lot of

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Speaker 2: protective crystals all over my room. And when I meditate,

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Speaker 2: I normally hold palmstones in my hands. I have a

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Speaker 2: lot of Selenite. I love Selenite. I really like Onyx.

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Speaker 2: Onyx is like one of those like protective crystals like

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Speaker 2: to scatter around your room and stuff. They just they

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Speaker 2: make me feel like everything's be okay and stuff, Like

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Speaker 2: after like a long day, like I'll like sit down

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Speaker 2: on my bed and like hold like a crystal in

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Speaker 2: my hands. And when I'm like going to the capital

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Speaker 2: and stuff, I ask my mom to bring little bitty

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Speaker 2: bitty like crystals this big and pass them out to

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Speaker 2: people who are like having a hard time or something.

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Speaker 1: Yet again, Libby's interests in crystals isn't uncommon. They have

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Speaker 1: been used even longer than Taro to explore a divine

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Speaker 1: connection for health and protection or for manifesting dreams. These

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Speaker 1: pockets of joy and safety have been useful for Libby

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Speaker 1: and her mom, especially while they're standing up for LGBTQ

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Speaker 1: rights at her state's capital.

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Speaker 2: A lot of the time, I don't feel safe when

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Speaker 2: there's legislators earned a ton of people yelling hateful things

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Speaker 2: at me, videoing me.

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Speaker 1: There's one place in the Capitol where Libby knows she

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Speaker 1: can always go to recharge.

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Speaker 2: I feel safe a Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett's office. When there

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Speaker 2: were people yelling at us and saying hateful things and

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Speaker 2: recording me and my friends. She offered her personal office

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Speaker 2: as a sanctuary for us. And that's like our sanctuary

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Speaker 2: at the art Texas Capital.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to Congresswoman Crockett. She models the type of

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Speaker 1: leadership our teens deserve to see an experience in their

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Speaker 1: everyday lives. Now, go charge those crystals and we'll be

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Speaker 1: right back after the break.

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Speaker 7: To my others, my lovers, civic sisters and brothers, the

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Speaker 7: SKilda world made for us too.

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Speaker 1: Those cherubic voices are them Youth Ensemble and all transquire

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Speaker 1: in Arizona. Their singers range in age anywhere from thirteen

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Speaker 1: to twenty four years old, and one of our teens

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Speaker 1: is a member.

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Speaker 3: I really wanted to be like a professional singer when

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Speaker 3: I was younger.

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Speaker 1: That's Daniel, a sixteen year old and Tucson, and joining

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Speaker 1: them youth ensemble was a dream he's had for a while.

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Speaker 3: My mom saw the person who runs the music ensemble.

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Speaker 3: My mom was like, oh my god, Nikki, my kid

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Speaker 3: loves to sing. He should join the choir. And he

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Speaker 3: was like, oh, I love that, but we have to

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Speaker 3: wait till he's thirteen, and so then four years go by.

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Speaker 3: In it's seventh grade. My mom was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: it's your thirteenth birthday. You can join the Muthic Ensemble now.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh mg, you're right. And then I

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Speaker 3: have my first like practice, but it was over zoomed

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Speaker 3: because it was during the pandemic or during I guess

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Speaker 3: lockdown I should say, and yeah, that's how I got

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Speaker 3: into it.

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Speaker 1: Daniel's been involved in the choir ever since, singing and

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Speaker 1: playing guitar, bass and drums, and he really connects with

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Speaker 1: the messages of the music. They sing a mix of

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Speaker 1: covers and original songs written by members.

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Speaker 3: It's really cool because all the songs we sing are

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Speaker 3: about like empowerment or how we need to be protecting

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Speaker 3: the land we live on, you know, and finding euphoria

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Speaker 3: like or what's the term being like euphoric and your

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Speaker 3: own self you know, self love.

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Speaker 4: This is a story about the land. It's a story

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Speaker 4: about the land and the people and the things that

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Speaker 4: are grained and are closer to touching the sky than

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Speaker 4: any of us will ever be.

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Speaker 1: What you just heard was thirteen year old Daniel narrating

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Speaker 1: a poem for a Them Youth Ensemble music video. Daniel

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Speaker 1: really found more than just a place to sing. He

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Speaker 1: found a group of people that understand and embrace him

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Speaker 1: for who he is.

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Speaker 3: So we were able to kind of like lean on

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Speaker 3: each other for support while also being able to like

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Speaker 3: connect artistically. You know. Also just think that having like

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Speaker 3: even if you're not always talking about it, by having

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Speaker 3: like the silent understanding, I think that's my two main

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Speaker 3: reasons for why it feels like a safe space. I

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Speaker 3: silent understand and that you're with a group.

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Speaker 4: That gets you.

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Speaker 1: I can totally relate to this. Having a group of

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Speaker 1: people who just get you without explanation is one of

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Speaker 1: the most comforting and empowering things. Much like Daniel, I

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Speaker 1: had my own support crew during my college days, and

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Speaker 1: I found my unapologetic self expression in the LGBTQ Student

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Speaker 1: Center and through drag performance. A lot of the time,

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Speaker 1: I was the only black person in those spaces, but

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Speaker 1: those connections played a huge role in helping me grow

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Speaker 1: and understand myself better. Looking back, if I hadn't been

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Speaker 1: part of those communities, especially during college, I might not

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Speaker 1: have started my transition when I did. Meeting other trans

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Speaker 1: folks was a certified game changer. Those spaces gave me

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Speaker 1: a sense of purpose and unbridled joy, and I'm thrilled

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Speaker 1: that Daniel has found something similar, a place he not

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Speaker 1: only has made lasting friendships, but where he can unwind

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Speaker 1: and make his voice heard.

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Speaker 3: A lot of representation in media is most of the

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Speaker 3: time these sad stories of trans people who aren't accepted

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Speaker 3: in their homes, who aren't supported by their friends. And

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Speaker 3: as much as those stories are true and people live

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Speaker 3: through them, I really feel like it's important for people

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Speaker 3: to see that that's not how it has to be. Like,

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Speaker 3: if you are a trans that's not how it's always

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Speaker 3: going to be. That there will be people who live

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Speaker 3: and support you that you can live a joyous life,

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Speaker 3: that you can live a very full life. And I

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Speaker 3: think that's my main thing. I want people to know.

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Speaker 3: I want people I mean, I want people to see

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Speaker 3: me being happy and having fun and to understand that

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Speaker 3: I'm just a kid who has dreams and aspirations and

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Speaker 3: hobbies and interests like any other kid.

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Speaker 6: I guess my own safe place is myself, because I

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Speaker 6: know that no matter where I'll go, I'll be a

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Speaker 6: whole person, and I will know that I can make

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Speaker 6: myself happy if I try.

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Speaker 7: To my hardest.

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Speaker 1: There's a reality for queer and trance people, especially young people,

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Speaker 1: that I want to leave with you today, and it's

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Speaker 1: that sometimes this idea of a safe space just doesn't

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Speaker 1: actually exist, or at the very least, it's not as

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Speaker 1: straightforward as a hobby or a physical location.

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Speaker 5: The past two months have taught me that nothing is

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Speaker 5: permanent board But through the past two months, I've learned

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Speaker 5: to be able to call myself my own home and

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Speaker 5: my own safe spot. In my own safe place.

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Speaker 1: That's Sully. He's nineteen years old and you might remember

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Speaker 1: him from our first episode. He lives on a reservation

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Speaker 1: in Montana and identifies as two spirits. Some of his

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Speaker 1: ten years have been consumed by financially supporting his family

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Speaker 1: while attending high school. That means buying growth series, paying bills,

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Speaker 1: and just a ton of responsibility.

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Speaker 6: I never really had parents to depend on. It's more

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Speaker 6: of my parents depended on me.

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Speaker 8: I've always had to grow up faster and take care

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Speaker 8: of people around me and have a stable income so

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Speaker 8: the people around me could have a sustainable life.

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Speaker 1: Since we started this show, Sully's living situation has only

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Speaker 1: become more complicated. After an altercation between his boyfriend and stepfather,

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Speaker 1: he was essentially kicked out. This led him to CouchSurfing

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Speaker 1: at other relatives homes and having stints of living out

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Speaker 1: of his car.

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Speaker 6: I felt like crying in that moviment because I felt

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Speaker 6: like just the regular mathing was just yanked, you know,

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Speaker 6: and my support system that I knew I was going

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Speaker 6: to have till I graduate and go to college was

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Speaker 6: gone in that liver of a moment.

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Speaker 1: Housing, healthcare, and financial stability are things that so so

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Speaker 1: many queer and trans youth across the country go without.

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Speaker 1: And we can't talk about safe spaces without acknowledging that truth.

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Speaker 1: Adequate housing and care is safety, and when Sully was

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Speaker 1: kicked out of his home, he felt the impact of

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Speaker 1: losing something so many people take for granted. After Sully

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Speaker 1: and his boyfriend landed at his aunt's house, going back

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Speaker 1: to school the next week was disorienting.

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Speaker 6: It still is a shell shock. It was weird to

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Speaker 6: go to school and see everyone just look happy normal.

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Speaker 6: They didn't have to worry about whether they're going to

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Speaker 6: sleep in the couch or in their car. But it

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Speaker 6: felt weird to go to school and pretend like nothing

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Speaker 6: ever happened.

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Speaker 1: While dealing with the turmoil of his personal life, Sully

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Speaker 1: started to fall behind in school. He considered dropping out,

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Speaker 1: but his school's administration started working to accommodate him, and

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Speaker 1: he set to graduate high school in the spring of

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Ali has to be independent from a

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Speaker 1: really young age, but now he's getting better at building

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Speaker 1: solace for himself.

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Speaker 6: I always knew that I'm the only person that can

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Speaker 6: fix my own problems and make my own solutions, and

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Speaker 6: from that, I always knew that I only will always

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Speaker 6: have my own safe space, but other people can always

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Speaker 6: be there for me as well. I do have moments

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Speaker 6: that I see my situation, and I'm realizing that I

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Speaker 6: can find my own interface as long as I have

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Speaker 6: that quiet time that I always had before, and that

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Speaker 6: I have my calmness. But knowing that I can just

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Speaker 6: go to a quiet place in the house, or.

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Speaker 7: Go on a walk or even for a simple drive

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Speaker 7: and just think to myself that everything will be okay,

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Speaker 7: That's when I know my interview is fine and that

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Speaker 7: I'll be okay.

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Speaker 1: Queer Chronicles is a production of School of Humans, The

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Speaker 1: Outspoken Podcast Network and iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Raquel Willis.

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Speaker 1: You can find a list of resources in the show notes,

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Speaker 1: including trans Lifeline and the Trevor Project. This show was

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Speaker 1: written by Jordan Bailey, Eedialise Perez, Aaron Edwards, and me.

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Speaker 1: Our story editors are Aaron Edwards and Julia Furlan, Produced

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Speaker 1: by Jordan Bailey, Julia Farlan and Edalis Perez. Our senior

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Speaker 1: producer is Amelia Brock, directed by ediis Perez, Sound design

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Speaker 1: and mixed by m b al Raheem. Theme song composed

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Speaker 1: by Jesse Niswanger. Special thanks to Nicky Manlove and them

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Speaker 1: Youth Ensemble for providing the track and will be free

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Speaker 1: casting by Jordan Bailey and Julia Furlan, fact checking by

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Speaker 1: Savannah Hugley. Our production manager is Daisy Church. Executive producers

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Speaker 1: include Jay Brunson and Me from The Outspoken Podcast Network,

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Speaker 1: Michael Alder June and Noel Brown from iHeart Podcasts, Virginia Prescott,

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Speaker 1: Brandon Barr and Elsie Crowley from School of Humans and

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Speaker 1: The Cats Company. If you're enjoying the show, please share

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Speaker 1: it with friends and family, and don't forget to rate

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Speaker 1: and review in your favorite podcast app. Tune in again

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Speaker 1: next week