Speaker 1: Hey, fam I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the
Speaker 1: Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the
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Speaker 1: on Apple podcasts on this Red Table Talk. This happens
Speaker 1: to be a topic that is very close to home.
Speaker 1: Help for millions struggling with addiction during the coronavirus crisis
Speaker 1: gave me was a heroin attic. The quarantine actually put
Speaker 1: me back in touch with going to meetings because I
Speaker 1: started to go online. The thing that shocked me was
Speaker 1: when you said that you had overdosed a few times. Wait,
Speaker 1: it's been a long time since I've had a drink,
Speaker 1: but old emotional habits try to creep back in. An
Speaker 1: addiction specialist answers your questions. I literally left rehab and
Speaker 1: that day was when this whole pandemic started to happen,
Speaker 1: and I was not there for that at all. Well
Speaker 1: through some drugs, smoking alcohol to overeating, I'm seeing a
Speaker 1: lot of people having a lot of struggle around absolute food.
Speaker 1: I can feel your anxiety coming through. If you are
Speaker 1: anyone you know needs help, this is an important Red
Speaker 1: Table Talk God grant me the serenity to accept the
Speaker 1: things I cannot change the current to change of things
Speaker 1: I can. Here we are, how's everyone doing out there?
Speaker 1: I know this is our quarantine time, and it's tough.
Speaker 1: We've decided to come to the table today to talk
Speaker 1: about addiction and how to deal with addictions of all kinds.
Speaker 1: Doing the time, this is the pandemic. Yeah, and doing
Speaker 1: this quarantine, which is super tough. It happens to be
Speaker 1: a topic that is very close to home for us.
Speaker 1: As some of you may know, gave me was a
Speaker 1: heroin attic. Gam has been in recovery now for how
Speaker 1: long twenty nine years? So I'm actually years. I celebrated
Speaker 1: twenty nine years in December, so I'm in my thirtieth year.
Speaker 1: You're in your year. It's been a long time since
Speaker 1: I've had to rely on going to meetings daily. The quarantine,
Speaker 1: believe it or not. Putting me back in touch with
Speaker 1: going to meet my sponsor called me and let me
Speaker 1: know that there were meetings online, and I actually went
Speaker 1: to my old home group back in Baltimore, and I'm
Speaker 1: telling you it was such such a good feeling. You
Speaker 1: kind of forget the importance of one attic helping another, right,
Speaker 1: I mean it was like being back home, right, you know.
Speaker 1: It was just such a good feeling to connect with
Speaker 1: people like me that understood what was going on, sharing
Speaker 1: the same feelings and experiences. It's just so important people
Speaker 1: are struggling out here. Here's the thing that shocked me
Speaker 1: this morning was when you said you had overdosed a
Speaker 1: few times. Wait, so you like, we mean, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: like overdosed a few times. Yeah, that's part of being
Speaker 1: a drug addict. I can remember getting out of treatment
Speaker 1: and them wanting to put me on some kind of
Speaker 1: drug that was going to block the effects of the
Speaker 1: heroine and if I tried to go over to get
Speaker 1: past that block that, you know, I would potentially o
Speaker 1: d And I was like, you think that's gonna stop me? Like,
Speaker 1: that's that's not going to stop me from doing anything
Speaker 1: odd a couple of times, so that was not a
Speaker 1: big deal to me. I knew in my heart that
Speaker 1: I had to want to change my life, that there
Speaker 1: wasn't a drug that was gonna stop me. I had
Speaker 1: to stop me, like I got to get this on
Speaker 1: my own. When you say overdose, because when I think
Speaker 1: of overdose, I think you're you can't, you're not responsib
Speaker 1: to bring you around. Somebody has to bring you around.
Speaker 1: So that's what happened to you. So how did they
Speaker 1: bring you around? One time they like put me in
Speaker 1: a tub of cold water. One time they put a
Speaker 1: lighter to my finger and just burn my finger to
Speaker 1: try to bring me around. Sometimes you come out of it,
Speaker 1: and sometimes you don't. Well, all I can say is
Speaker 1: holloween for twenty nine years exactly because when you carry,
Speaker 1: when you're caught up, you don't you don't think of
Speaker 1: you don't You're not thinking about all that. You're just
Speaker 1: trying to get high. Willow. I'm really proud of you
Speaker 1: as well because you have decided to curb your excessive
Speaker 1: weed smoking exactly. Hallelu hallelu I mean you always were
Speaker 1: telling me. You would be like, I gotta stop that smoking.
Speaker 1: You would always think only because as your mother I
Speaker 1: could see the effects of it that you couldn't exactly
Speaker 1: and now and for me it was like with the
Speaker 1: history that we have in our family, don't drive me.
Speaker 1: It was driving me crazy because all we could think
Speaker 1: about is that it's a gate to something else. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have haven't been smoking marijuana for three months. Specifically,
Speaker 1: when I stopped smoking, it was a really big like
Speaker 1: eye opener because I was like, there are so many people,
Speaker 1: like people that I called friends in my life who
Speaker 1: just kind of like you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: I was like, really made me think, like this is
Speaker 1: really interesting. You know, there's a lot of social it's
Speaker 1: very social. I mean for me it was. For me,
Speaker 1: it was it was like you know when you're young
Speaker 1: and you're with your friends and it's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, it's like you don't think
Speaker 1: anything of it, and I know it sounds so cheesy,
Speaker 1: but it's like around the time I stopped smoking, I
Speaker 1: started doing a lot of yoga and I just excelled
Speaker 1: because I was putting all of my energy into that,
Speaker 1: like I wasn't doing anything else. And I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: what if I was doing this with everything, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? And then it really made me think,
Speaker 1: like what have I been missing? What have I been
Speaker 1: um not putting my all into or not putting like
Speaker 1: all of my brain power into For everyone, it's different,
Speaker 1: like for some people marijuana doesn't affect them like now
Speaker 1: I see it affected me, and even like like I had.
Speaker 1: How do you see how it affected you though? When
Speaker 1: you when you look at yourself today and then you
Speaker 1: look at you then when you were I'll say smoking
Speaker 1: excessively because I do think that that plant can be helpful.
Speaker 1: It is a medicine for a lot of people, definitely,
Speaker 1: and it raises quality of life for a lot of people. Sure, um,
Speaker 1: but when it's not something that is like you need
Speaker 1: it medically and you're just using it like for me,
Speaker 1: like maybe like you know once every two weeks or
Speaker 1: whatever is a vibe, but like for me it was like,
Speaker 1: yes it was, but like anything else, if you abuse it, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not helpful exactly right. And I feel like people
Speaker 1: think because it comes out of the ground, you can't
Speaker 1: abuse it. Yeah, heroin comes out. Heroin comes out of
Speaker 1: the ground too. So what have you seen that's different?
Speaker 1: Less anxious? Which is anxious? Who would have thought that's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I never understood that smoking would actually make me more anxious.
Speaker 1: You feel like you're more productive one when I was bored,
Speaker 1: I would just smoke. Now because of this quarantine board
Speaker 1: all the time, but I'm putting my energy into different things.
Speaker 1: So when you're ready to stop using you've got to
Speaker 1: be ready for a whole new lifestyle exactly and knowing
Speaker 1: exactly why that you're doing that, because for me, I
Speaker 1: realized it's the um oral fixation. Like it's not even
Speaker 1: really the getting high, it's the like oral fixation of
Speaker 1: like just smoking that I really enjoyed. So now starting
Speaker 1: to like figure out, Okay, like utilizing CBD in different ways,
Speaker 1: it's not psychoactive, but because I've been working out so
Speaker 1: much helps your muscles, it helps all these other different things.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, maybe I can just saciate that in
Speaker 1: different ways that aren't psychoactive, that are like dumbing me down. Basically,
Speaker 1: did it help at all? When I just kept going, hey,
Speaker 1: I need you to see this, I mean, or did
Speaker 1: it make you go you don't know what you're talking about?
Speaker 1: This is the thing. It's not that it didn't make
Speaker 1: sense because now I see what you were saying. But
Speaker 1: before I was like, because my biggest thing was like
Speaker 1: I would understand if I was like not productive, not productive,
Speaker 1: if I wasn't working, and if I wasn't like making
Speaker 1: an effort in supporting yourself exactly, then I could see
Speaker 1: how it would be like But that was my um.
Speaker 1: That was my justification of being like, oh, like, I'm
Speaker 1: doing all this so at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: as a parent, you did what you were supposed exactly
Speaker 1: because in the law rung it does she is going
Speaker 1: to remember that. I think that the more aggressive you are,
Speaker 1: the more the kid's going to go. But if you
Speaker 1: think that a parent tries to talk to their child
Speaker 1: in a way of like, hey, this is what I see,
Speaker 1: I know you have to make decisions for yourself. I'm afraid,
Speaker 1: you know, because I look at this as one day,
Speaker 1: this isn't gonna be enough. But by going to something heavy,
Speaker 1: to me, that sounds like because this is the thing.
Speaker 1: I might be a little immature, but I'm not like
Speaker 1: off the wagon. No, But I'm not trying to hurt myself,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. We don't have to think
Speaker 1: we're trying to hurt ourselves and we're just trying to
Speaker 1: have me either, trying to have a good time. Yep,
Speaker 1: that's all I was trying to do was have a
Speaker 1: good time, you know. And I'm just trying to have
Speaker 1: a good time. I know what bloodline you come from,
Speaker 1: so I was just in there deep. I would just
Speaker 1: say to you, Hey, you're losing your shine. You're losing
Speaker 1: your glows. Like you could be doing even more than
Speaker 1: what you're doing now, you know, you could be doing
Speaker 1: more of the things that you really want to do.
Speaker 1: What would be your suggestion for young people that are
Speaker 1: quarantined at this time that are serious smokers, right, who
Speaker 1: might decide, Wow, I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 1: I just really think about, like what is the first
Speaker 1: thought in your head before you smoke? Like, what is
Speaker 1: your first thought? And if and if that's like a
Speaker 1: thought of like stress or I thought of using it
Speaker 1: as a crutch in any way, try to think about
Speaker 1: that and if that comes from a negative place, examine
Speaker 1: that because if it comes from a negative place, if
Speaker 1: you're trying to run from something, that could just snowball.
Speaker 1: And just think about what are some other things that
Speaker 1: you could utilize that aren't physically or mentally dampening. Like
Speaker 1: how did you how did you know? No? No, how
Speaker 1: how did you start stopping? Yeah, start stopping your excessive smoking? Um,
Speaker 1: I got rid of all of everything, Like I got
Speaker 1: rid of everything that I could smoke with okay, and
Speaker 1: smoke after that, it was like okay, Like now if
Speaker 1: I want to smoke, I'm going to have to make
Speaker 1: an effort, you know what I mean, And then making
Speaker 1: that effort is going to make me feel like this
Speaker 1: is kind of going to make exactly So that would
Speaker 1: be my first thing, second thing for my health, and
Speaker 1: especially now because COVID is a respiratory thing. I'm really
Speaker 1: glad that um I stopped when I did, because it
Speaker 1: does make you more vulnerable. You would explain it to
Speaker 1: me also that you have a routine. When you wake up,
Speaker 1: you know what you're doing, especially now when we got
Speaker 1: to stay in our house. I wake up, I do
Speaker 1: my hour and thirty minutes of yoga. I've been trying
Speaker 1: to get fluent in Spanish, so take a shower after that,
Speaker 1: I'm like doing my Spanish work. You have to fill
Speaker 1: your days with things that I'm meaningful to think that
Speaker 1: I'm angry to you that like occupy your mind. I
Speaker 1: remember when I was first getting clean too, which happened
Speaker 1: many times. I was like a revolving door over for
Speaker 1: a while. But a routine was really important and I
Speaker 1: had to have a plan for my day. I'm still
Speaker 1: very routine. I still have to have a plan for
Speaker 1: my day. If I don't have a plan, and I
Speaker 1: feel a little Yeah exactly, I'm not that spontaneous and
Speaker 1: people need to know where I am and what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I could not have free time to myself and just
Speaker 1: be rolling and just be rolling. No, because if I'm rolling,
Speaker 1: you don't know where I'm going. I'm going over here,
Speaker 1: I'm going there. In popular growth, I don't need you,
Speaker 1: don't need somebody to help you stay accountable. Yes, And
Speaker 1: I think that that's what I would share with people
Speaker 1: out here when they can't get to a meeting. It's
Speaker 1: about being connected to people, because just because you can't
Speaker 1: physically be near people, you can still be connected to people.
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you these online meetings are extremely helpful
Speaker 1: because you can opt to see people or not. You
Speaker 1: can have the video on or not, so you feel
Speaker 1: like you're at a meeting. That's great. That it is
Speaker 1: just as powerful. It's just as powerful. I will say
Speaker 1: that as your mother, I see that you are far
Speaker 1: more emotionally balanced. Definitely, and you remain a more constant
Speaker 1: good place or I feel like when you were smoking,
Speaker 1: you were on a complete up and down the Yeah. Definitely, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So kudos to you. I'm so proud of you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. I'm really proud. So joining us
Speaker 1: is Dr Mike dow. He is a family therapist and
Speaker 1: psychotherapist specializing in addictions of all kinds. We know a
Speaker 1: lot of people are out there struggling, whether it's with food, alcohol,
Speaker 1: or drugs during this particular time. Yeah, peop are really
Speaker 1: starting to feel the effects. Is because this is a
Speaker 1: hard time. You know, when you have the disease of
Speaker 1: addiction present. Um, what's at stake is their life, right,
Speaker 1: and you have something like a severe stressor like this pandemic,
Speaker 1: you're gonna see that this this this disease is really
Speaker 1: going to surface and come out in full force. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have to agree because even I mean with me,
Speaker 1: it's it's been a long time since I've had a
Speaker 1: drink or anything. But it's so funny because old emotional
Speaker 1: habits try to creep back in and that's been a
Speaker 1: trip because I haven't had to deal with that in
Speaker 1: a long time. But like you know, old emotional habits
Speaker 1: that you would use to justify. Let me just get
Speaker 1: out of bottle of wine and just kicking you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, just knowing that oh no, not you,
Speaker 1: because you know that one bottle will turn into two
Speaker 1: and then you'll be back to three. So Andrew and
Speaker 1: Long Island, New York, has a question. What's going on? Andrew?
Speaker 1: My name is Andrew. Obviously um dirty years old. I've
Speaker 1: been dealing with heroin and opiate addiction since I was
Speaker 1: twenty three. As of today, I'm thirty four days clean.
Speaker 1: I literally left UM graduation. I left rehab and that
Speaker 1: day was like when this whole pandemic started to happen,
Speaker 1: and I was not prepared for that at all. But
Speaker 1: you know, I overdose twice in the same day before
Speaker 1: I went to rehab. And I have a good planet everything,
Speaker 1: but with being really sober um, the one thing I'm
Speaker 1: really struggling with is without like that personal connection with
Speaker 1: in person conversations, meeting people, stuff like that. So I
Speaker 1: just want to ask, like, what advice would you give to,
Speaker 1: you know, fill that void that I feel like I'm lacking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel you. You know, there's something to be said,
Speaker 1: whether you're in the rooms or you know, in I
Speaker 1: know in my office, I'm missing that person to person connection.
Speaker 1: My advice for you is to just live through the
Speaker 1: serenity prayer right now. You could not control the fact
Speaker 1: that the pandemic was going to hit just at the
Speaker 1: time that you were getting out of rehab. But there
Speaker 1: are so many things that you have control over. You
Speaker 1: are missing connection, as I think so many people are
Speaker 1: right now. So you know, in whatever way you can
Speaker 1: get that right now, get it, whether that's a Zoom meeting,
Speaker 1: video conferencing. I'm using like an encrypted video conferencing service
Speaker 1: for for my patients to do one on therapy, face
Speaker 1: timing friends, you know, setting up time to like have
Speaker 1: dinner with them over FaceTime, whatever it is that you
Speaker 1: can do for right now until that time passes. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you have a sponsor, Andrew, but I
Speaker 1: would encourage you to try to get a sponsor and
Speaker 1: this time if you possibly can. Um and really, the
Speaker 1: the online meetings through Zoom are absolutely great. Have you
Speaker 1: tried that yet? Yeah, I've been going to that. I've
Speaker 1: been sharing, but for some reason, I can't get into
Speaker 1: the online meetings. You know, I'm not gonna say I
Speaker 1: love them. It's just tough for me. I feel you.
Speaker 1: I understand that it's difficult and challenging for you, but
Speaker 1: just know that this two shall pass. It will it
Speaker 1: will pass. And this is just what you need to
Speaker 1: do to maintain yourself until you're able to get back
Speaker 1: into the meetings. And you know, it's something that you
Speaker 1: just don't have any control over, so you just have
Speaker 1: to try to stay connected however you can, and your
Speaker 1: phone and your computer right now is gonna be your
Speaker 1: best friend. Just so that you know, Andrew, to just
Speaker 1: give you a little context, my mother gave me here.
Speaker 1: She's she's twenty nine years clean, my heroin addiction. Heroin
Speaker 1: was my drug of Joyce sues. I definitely feel you, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you can also look at this is that it's
Speaker 1: maybe a good time for you too, because now you're
Speaker 1: confined to the house and so you can't even get
Speaker 1: out there to like sneak out and go No, that's
Speaker 1: exactly like you know, I've been walking five six miles
Speaker 1: a day. I have a routine things that I do
Speaker 1: and meditate a lot of stuff. That's the hardest part was,
Speaker 1: like you know, dealing with your own emotions, especially nearly clean.
Speaker 1: It's funny, the one thing I'm missing the most is
Speaker 1: seeing people in person. As far as what you said
Speaker 1: getting a sponsor, You're right, and I just did in
Speaker 1: the past. But I'm ready and you're doing it, Andrew.
Speaker 1: You're doing it, you know what I mean, You're actually
Speaker 1: doing it. So just focus on the things that you're
Speaker 1: doing right now. And once again, this too shall pay
Speaker 1: as you're on the right path, you know. You keep trying. Yeah, temporary,
Speaker 1: and you're right, we have no control over it, right,
Speaker 1: and tell yourself your own story, remember what you came from,
Speaker 1: and know that you don't want to go back there.
Speaker 1: My mom saved my life. She walked in. I wasn't
Speaker 1: even breathing. I told her you gave birth to me,
Speaker 1: and then you read birth to me when you say
Speaker 1: my life, because I've been clean since then, and I
Speaker 1: have a totally difficult look and I thank her for that.
Speaker 1: You know. Every day, you know what, Andrew, we are
Speaker 1: sending you love and strength and we're gonna be praying
Speaker 1: for you on this side, absolutely, but we're really happy
Speaker 1: for you to be where you are right now. Of course,
Speaker 1: day by day, I really yeah, one day at the time, Andrew,
Speaker 1: one day at the time. Thank you, Andrew. It's powerful,
Speaker 1: it is. I'm really concerned about the newcomers, especially those
Speaker 1: ones that I mean when I'm online, I'm hearing people
Speaker 1: that have twenty seven days, nine days, twenty four hours. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so if you're newly sober right now, it's really tricky.
Speaker 1: But you can go back to the basics. You can
Speaker 1: do what a lot of addicts will do in the
Speaker 1: beginning of their sobriety, which is ninety meetings and ninety days.
Speaker 1: It can't be in person, you know, you may have
Speaker 1: to do those ninety meetings in zoom. You can find
Speaker 1: a sponsor. You can find a new individual therapist online
Speaker 1: and do weekly or even daily sessions if you need
Speaker 1: you right now. And one thing I want to say
Speaker 1: to for for a lot of people, it was the
Speaker 1: meeting after the meeting. You know, you go to the meeting,
Speaker 1: but then it was all the socializing and the connections
Speaker 1: and the camaraderie that you developed and relationships that you
Speaker 1: developed with people after the meeting. And there's still a
Speaker 1: way to do that. Your phone is going to be
Speaker 1: your best friend around this time, and you just really
Speaker 1: have got to go the full length to stay connected
Speaker 1: with people. And so I wouldn't get to really lean
Speaker 1: on your sponsor, yeah, big time. And if don't feel
Speaker 1: like if you don't have one. You can't get one
Speaker 1: because was on a meeting last night when there was
Speaker 1: a young lady that was looking for a sponsor, and
Speaker 1: the person that was running the meeting was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: anybody who can help this young lady, please put your
Speaker 1: information in the chat so that she can reach out. People,
Speaker 1: put your phone numbers in. I mean, it's still run
Speaker 1: like a traditional meeting. All right, Next question, Aloha Jada.
Speaker 1: My name is Ruchelle and I'm from Eva Beach, Hawaii.
Speaker 1: I was on track to lose weight, but then the
Speaker 1: pandemic hit and now I can't go to the gym.
Speaker 1: How can I stay on track and fight off my
Speaker 1: cravings to want to sit at home? This is a
Speaker 1: hard one. I'm seeing a lot of people having a
Speaker 1: lot of struggle around absolutely food. Yeah. I have a
Speaker 1: girlfriend that is going through the exact same thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're sitting home and you're just there's a bunch
Speaker 1: of junk and your board and you're eating out of boredom.
Speaker 1: Help us, Dr Mike Ye. And it's sort of crazy
Speaker 1: that health professional and and all the things you see
Speaker 1: send the news always say to avoid processed food. And
Speaker 1: now you know all of the recommendations are, hey, stock
Speaker 1: up on all that food, and of course those processed
Speaker 1: foods are the ones that are highly addictive, and of
Speaker 1: course food is the most socially acceptable drug of choice.
Speaker 1: And you know, neuropally speaking, sugar releases dopamine in the
Speaker 1: brain just like cocaine does, so you know, you can
Speaker 1: see how all of these processed foods, especially UH can
Speaker 1: be so addictive in the brain. You know, I think
Speaker 1: a couple of strategies work. First, having a plan. You know,
Speaker 1: we see in research that just the act of taking
Speaker 1: your food out of the container, putting it on a
Speaker 1: real plate, and sitting at a table works wonders at
Speaker 1: helping people to actually eat less because you know what
Speaker 1: happens we eat mindlessly. Research looking at other countries versus Americans,
Speaker 1: Americans don't listen to their internal cues for satiety. We
Speaker 1: tend to watch the TV as we're eating, so we
Speaker 1: don't even realize that we're full. But when we actually
Speaker 1: sit down at a table, we're forced to turn to
Speaker 1: those internal cues. And by the way, now is not
Speaker 1: the time you need to like rush through your meal
Speaker 1: and get drive through. You know, you have the time
Speaker 1: to like prepare the meal, you could actually sit down
Speaker 1: as a family. Just like you said, Dr Mike, that
Speaker 1: is one addiction that is super socially accepted, and we
Speaker 1: can build all kinds of justifications around why we should
Speaker 1: be allowed to eat whatever we want at this time.
Speaker 1: Because food is not available in certain areas, you've got
Speaker 1: to get what you can. That's a hard course, and
Speaker 1: especially for food addicts, you know, because again again wouldn't
Speaker 1: sit at home with a bunch of heroin, but food
Speaker 1: addicts and people with eating disorders, they have to have
Speaker 1: food in their cabinets and theirs, so it's especially hard
Speaker 1: for them. Food addicts should be able to find programs
Speaker 1: online as well. When you spoke about putting the food
Speaker 1: that you're planning to eat on a plate, taking it
Speaker 1: to the table, so that if you have issues with
Speaker 1: food addictions, that has to be part of the routine, right,
Speaker 1: that to bring yourself into a level of mindfulness that
Speaker 1: you got to put those cheetos on a plate good, right,
Speaker 1: or those barbecue Tata chips and you gotta put it
Speaker 1: on the plate and sit at the table and actually
Speaker 1: eat it. And then you look at it and go,
Speaker 1: should I really be eating this? Right now, right, because
Speaker 1: it definitely puts in a certain mind perspective. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's a really helpful tip, even for me. Yes,
Speaker 1: I have to remember that when I want a cookie,
Speaker 1: I have to check my plate and put my cookie on,
Speaker 1: you know, because for me is barbaracue, potato chips, so um,
Speaker 1: and French fris and pizza. Next question, Hey, ladies, my
Speaker 1: name is Brittany and I'm from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. So
Speaker 1: being home all day long because the quarantine is driving
Speaker 1: me a bit nuts. I'm used to waiting until at
Speaker 1: least five pm for some wine, but now that my
Speaker 1: old friends and I are having a virtual cocktail party,
Speaker 1: I'm noticing my drinking starting earlier and earlier in the day.
Speaker 1: Do you think this is okay given the circumstances, or
Speaker 1: do you think I should be cutting back? Well, the
Speaker 1: fact that you're asking is early indication that maybe you
Speaker 1: do have a problem. You know, in healthcare, the four
Speaker 1: questions we ask are have you ever felt that you
Speaker 1: needed to cut back on your drinking? Have you ever
Speaker 1: gotten annoyed that somebody else suggested it? Have you ever
Speaker 1: felt guilty? Um? And have you ever needed an eye
Speaker 1: opener in the morning, and you know, if you answer
Speaker 1: yes to one of those questions and you may have
Speaker 1: a problem with drinking. So you know, it's just a
Speaker 1: great time to change our relationship to foods, devices and
Speaker 1: to replace. Then one of the things that I love
Speaker 1: Willow was talking about is using a lot of replacement therapy,
Speaker 1: so focusing not so much on what we're taking away
Speaker 1: from our lives, you know, less for twenty but actually
Speaker 1: focusing more on what we're adding, like more yoga. And
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, what could I add to my life?
Speaker 1: Not what am I taking away? Because when we focus
Speaker 1: on what we add, it's it's coming at life from
Speaker 1: this place of abundance as opposed to a place of lack,
Speaker 1: and human beings do a lot better when we when
Speaker 1: we come at it from like a what can I
Speaker 1: add to my day rather than what do I have
Speaker 1: to take away? I love that adding because really most
Speaker 1: of the time it's like we're thinking to ourselves like,
Speaker 1: oh man, like I already feel like I don't have enough.
Speaker 1: So if this is taken away, like what I am
Speaker 1: I going to do with changing that perspective, No, what
Speaker 1: can I add? So that maybe I won't even have
Speaker 1: time for this part, right, all right, So next question
Speaker 1: him table. My name is Marvin. I'm from Washington, d C.
Speaker 1: And unfortunately I am with smoker. But I have been
Speaker 1: trying to quit because I do hear that COVID nineteen
Speaker 1: does kill smokers at a faster rate than non smokers.
Speaker 1: But I just can't seem to stop. Please help me.
Speaker 1: That's a great question because it is so important for
Speaker 1: us all to quit. Urges don't actually last long. So
Speaker 1: if you can buy yourself five minutes, those addictive urges
Speaker 1: have a chance just sort of passed through. I really
Speaker 1: like diafragmatic breathing, So one thing that you can do
Speaker 1: is just place one hand up here and another on
Speaker 1: your belly. When we move into fight or flight, your
Speaker 1: breathing tends to be up here by your chest. When
Speaker 1: we're in that opposite state the rest and digest, your
Speaker 1: breathing tends to be down in your belly. So all
Speaker 1: you have to do is only move the hand that
Speaker 1: is on your belly and keep the hand at your
Speaker 1: chest completely still. That actually tricks the brain into thinking
Speaker 1: that danger has passed. And if you just do this,
Speaker 1: really deep belly breathing for five minutes, You'll actually notice
Speaker 1: that blood pressure can come down, You're gonna feel more
Speaker 1: physically calm, and all of those things can allow that urged.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. So next question, Hijida. My name is Tara.
Speaker 1: I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and I cannot stop worrying about
Speaker 1: COVID nineteen. I'm someone who already has a lot of anxiety,
Speaker 1: so times like this are really rough for me, and
Speaker 1: I'm also affecting friends and family. If you have any advice,
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: can relate to this, and I've seen o c D
Speaker 1: like symptoms in most of the country. Now, we can't
Speaker 1: confuse the possible with the probable. We have to just
Speaker 1: continue to do what we can to keep safe. The
Speaker 1: one fear that I have is that all of the
Speaker 1: people with anxiety disorders and o c D, that this
Speaker 1: is going to be the undoing of them, because I've
Speaker 1: worked with them so hard to help them to realize
Speaker 1: that the world is actually a pretty safe place, and
Speaker 1: now they're gonna say, see, I told you the world
Speaker 1: wasn't safe. But that thinking is it's sort of this
Speaker 1: black or white, thinking that if if this time was unsafe,
Speaker 1: therefore the whole world is unsafe and it will always
Speaker 1: be unsafe. And we have to realize that this is
Speaker 1: not how it will always be, and we have to
Speaker 1: realize that yes, in this time right now, we are
Speaker 1: doing things that are unique, and that this time will pass.
Speaker 1: And more we focus on the things that we can control,
Speaker 1: I think, the more piece we will all feel with
Speaker 1: the things that we can't control. I eat the coronavirus
Speaker 1: pandemic right now. It's so funny that you that you're
Speaker 1: talking about this because as you can see, we have
Speaker 1: no shoes on. Because he was just talking about this
Speaker 1: before we came in here. I was saying, okay, everybody
Speaker 1: take their shoes all we can, you know, nowhere shoes
Speaker 1: anywhere in the house. Any shoe that's ever been outside,
Speaker 1: don't wear it in the house, because we heard that
Speaker 1: the virus might live on the bottom of your shoes.
Speaker 1: And then Willow was just like, you know what, at
Speaker 1: some point, you just gotta chill and let go, you know,
Speaker 1: And so I'm really working on my my chill and
Speaker 1: let go because yeah, yeah, yeah, because it is so
Speaker 1: easy to just try to someone like me, who's you know,
Speaker 1: always trying to control everything? And I just realized in
Speaker 1: this particular circumstance, I'm really learning in a in a
Speaker 1: hardcore where when I'm actually not in control of at all.
Speaker 1: We have Marlene and Flint Michigan has a question. Hi,
Speaker 1: ja don will dammy Hey. I have been a recovering
Speaker 1: alcoholic for four years now, okay, and I used alcohol
Speaker 1: to self medicaid from when I was younger because I
Speaker 1: had a very traumatic childhood. And now I'm in isolation,
Speaker 1: which means I have a lot of idle time, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to go back there. I really don't. Marlin,
Speaker 1: do you go on to any a A meetings online? No,
Speaker 1: I don't go to a meetings online. I had really
Speaker 1: bad drink and had it at twelve, and I didn't
Speaker 1: realize what it was until I got older, and I
Speaker 1: kind of skipped the A A because they made me
Speaker 1: realize what it was that made me drink was my past.
Speaker 1: It's just a it's really hard for me to go
Speaker 1: back into it too far because that kind of suck
Speaker 1: it out. Yeah, and that's your brain protecting you. I
Speaker 1: believe that you have not gone to the root of
Speaker 1: your trauma. My gut is telling me that you still
Speaker 1: have unprocessed trauma or undertreated trauma. Is that right? Unprocessed
Speaker 1: trauma is one of the biggest triggers in my experience
Speaker 1: for addiction. And if we could successfully process your trauma,
Speaker 1: I believe that you would notice a decrease in your
Speaker 1: urges to drink. Right. So, it's sort of like the dominoes.
Speaker 1: It's like you're sort of focusing on the eighth domino.
Speaker 1: We need to go back to the first domino. You know,
Speaker 1: why do those urges here in the first place? I
Speaker 1: would say right now, avia zoom. But when this coronavirus
Speaker 1: isolation is over, you know, look for a practitioner in
Speaker 1: your area. He's trained to treat trauma. Well. Thank you, Marlene.
Speaker 1: You I'm really hoping that you can find a support
Speaker 1: group to at least get you through this time of
Speaker 1: isolation in regards to keeping on the path of not drinking.
Speaker 1: So we are sending you just love and strength. Thank you,
Speaker 1: you and I thank you. Guys are so beautiful. Thank you.
Speaker 1: We have one of Willow's friends named Jesse, and the
Speaker 1: reason why I'm excited to have Jesse speak with us
Speaker 1: today is because Jesse's got a year clean as of
Speaker 1: two days ago. Jes Jessey, Jesse, congratulations, gratulates. We heard
Speaker 1: that you have a question for Dr Mike here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so things around I live in a treatment center and
Speaker 1: things have been like a bit wild around here. Uh.
Speaker 1: And the fact is that I have a year and
Speaker 1: that's like a lot longer than some people have around here.
Speaker 1: So how do I like shepherd people through the darkness?
Speaker 1: Right now? We're like, I can't even really see myself. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's real. That's a great question, Jesse. What I always
Speaker 1: tell people is get specific. You know, Hey, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: face time you or you know, you and I let's
Speaker 1: sit down and do a big book meeting like Thursday,
Speaker 1: you and me, you know. And the more specific you
Speaker 1: can get, especially if you see people are struggling with
Speaker 1: that request or that that offer at the better. So
Speaker 1: so good work, Jesse, and thanks for being a like
Speaker 1: for others. I would say to Jesse to try to
Speaker 1: get people to stay in the now, and that people
Speaker 1: should not spend a lot of time looking towards tomorrow,
Speaker 1: like try to stay in the present, like what's happening
Speaker 1: right now today? And sometimes you have to do it
Speaker 1: minute by minute, hour by hour, you know, to just
Speaker 1: get through. But that's how we do it. One day
Speaker 1: at a time. Everything is one day at a time.
Speaker 1: And if you start looking down the road to next
Speaker 1: Thursday or Friday, sometimes even tomorrow, it gets to be overwhelming.
Speaker 1: So you want to try to keep people focused on
Speaker 1: the present. What's happening right now? What are you doing
Speaker 1: right now? We're right now, you're talking to me. You know,
Speaker 1: we're having a conversation. You know, maybe there is a
Speaker 1: meeting that you can law going to in ten minutes
Speaker 1: or whatever. You know what I mean. So just try
Speaker 1: to keep people kind of focused on the now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's scary. Uh. I have a lot of
Speaker 1: friends who because of this, they decided to like leave
Speaker 1: the treatment center and they're now all like out And
Speaker 1: like one of my first left. The first day he left,
Speaker 1: he overdosed onufen and all managed to be He's like okay,
Speaker 1: but I said to him, I was like, dude, like,
Speaker 1: if you keep this up, you're gonna die. And we
Speaker 1: both lost a friend like two weeks ago. This is
Speaker 1: it's so serious around here. It's scary. Yeah. One of
Speaker 1: my first days one of my best friends. Here's something
Speaker 1: to me that's stuck in my head, and that's uh.
Speaker 1: Rehab is where you meet people have the most intimate
Speaker 1: friendships you've ever had, the strongest relationships you'll ever to make,
Speaker 1: and then some of those people are going to die.
Speaker 1: There you go. Everybody's not gonna make it, and make
Speaker 1: it well. Thank you, Jesse. I really appreciate your desire
Speaker 1: to help others through the darkness during this time, and
Speaker 1: we're proud of you over here and we are flowing
Speaker 1: you a lot of other strength. Take care of yourself, Jesse,
Speaker 1: I want to say to you, do have to be
Speaker 1: careful trying to help other people, and just recognize that
Speaker 1: you are the most important one. Right these are the
Speaker 1: times where everybody is so vulnerable. You really got to
Speaker 1: make sure you're taking care of yourself first. I was
Speaker 1: talking to Karen the other day and with your sister
Speaker 1: who also has how many years you have thirty That
Speaker 1: means she probably has probably is going into for Okay,
Speaker 1: we were just talking about people are talking about being bored.
Speaker 1: I see this whole time as an opportunity for the
Speaker 1: world to kind of hit the reset button and to
Speaker 1: really start going in side, thinking about who you are
Speaker 1: as a person, what's really important to you, think about
Speaker 1: how you've been living your life, and what changes you
Speaker 1: need to make for yourself, just for yourself. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like an opportunity to clean up and clean out, right,
Speaker 1: I definitely believe that. So what do we do to
Speaker 1: try to keep people on a positive path to be
Speaker 1: in a more positive frame of mind while this is happening,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking's what the doctor was saying, instead of thinking
Speaker 1: about having to get rid of things and putting you know,
Speaker 1: it's more about what can I add versus what's being
Speaker 1: taken away? And I don't want to get foofie fufi.
Speaker 1: But also just like what helps me is just like
Speaker 1: listing things that like I'm grateful for things that that
Speaker 1: I took for granted before and now really like every
Speaker 1: single aspect of everything, you know, really just you know,
Speaker 1: right now health like as of right now we're healthy,
Speaker 1: you know, and just going thank you, you know, any
Speaker 1: other time. I'm not even really thinking about that. For addicts,
Speaker 1: being grateful and that the attitude of gratitude is paramount
Speaker 1: to our recovery process. The old thing is a grateful
Speaker 1: attic will never use you know, if you're staying grounded
Speaker 1: in gratitude, thinking about where you came from and where
Speaker 1: you are now, just tell yourself your own story. You
Speaker 1: don't have to hear anybody else's story. I don't need
Speaker 1: to hear anybody else's story really, if I remember my own. Okay,
Speaker 1: so a grateful attic, We'll not use you. Gotta do
Speaker 1: what what's necessary to stay in a place of gratitude.
Speaker 1: That works for all of us right now, to stay
Speaker 1: in a place of gratitude. I just wanna thank everyone
Speaker 1: who shared their testimony with us today, and just know
Speaker 1: we are really sending love and strength to all those
Speaker 1: out there who are struggling with addictions of all kind.
Speaker 1: And even if you can't do it for yourself right now,
Speaker 1: find something or someone to do it for because we're
Speaker 1: not always in the space where we can do it
Speaker 1: for ourselves. But I'll tell you what, in my times
Speaker 1: of trial, my kids, Yeah, my kids just find that
Speaker 1: thing and at some point in time, the light bulb
Speaker 1: will go on and you'll be doing it for you exactly.
Speaker 1: And that's real. And when the universe knows that it's
Speaker 1: something you really want, doors open, yeah, and that's true too.
Speaker 1: When the student is ready to teach, you will appear. Well,
Speaker 1: let's end in the serenity prayer. Damn, you know the
Speaker 1: serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the
Speaker 1: things I cannot change, change the curs the change of
Speaker 1: things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Speaker 1: There it is, there, it is. I wish I could
Speaker 1: give you guys a hug right now, but I can't. Yam,
Speaker 1: thank you you always come through with the games wisdom.
Speaker 1: That's all I gotta say. To join the Red Table
Speaker 1: Talk family and become a part of the conversation, follow
Speaker 1: us at facebook dot com slash red table talk. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening to this episode of Red Table Talk podcast
Speaker 1: produced by Facebook Watch, Westbrook Audio, and I Heart Radio.