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Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from last

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Speaker 1: Comic Standing Mark Normand and Arden Myron June twelfth through

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Speaker 1: the fourteenth. Tickets are available at Parlor Live dot com

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Speaker 1: or call four two five two eight nine seven thousand

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Speaker 1: twenty five. Hello. Hey is this Brian? Hey Brian, how

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Speaker 1: are you? Um? I know this, well, we don't know

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Speaker 1: each other. I got your number for one of your neighbors,

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Speaker 1: and I hope you don't mind me calling. I'm the

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Speaker 1: guy that accidentally hit your car a few days ago. Um, okay,

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Speaker 1: did it occur to you maybe to leave a note

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Speaker 1: on my car? I get it. I know obviously you

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Speaker 1: don't because you don't even know you hit my car, man,

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Speaker 1: and you don't even note, And I had no idea

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Speaker 1: who broke that cy view mirror. That's why I'm calling, right, Well,

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Speaker 1: that's right, Yeah, I get it. But that's like three

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Speaker 1: days after the fact. Right, Well, I don't hit a

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Speaker 1: car and you and you leave it that you guys

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Speaker 1: to leave a note. Well, the point is I'm on

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Speaker 1: the phone now, Yeah, I get it, right, I get it,

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Speaker 1: But you're all a sudden You're calling three days after

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Speaker 1: like all? Sorry, you think that makes it better. Well, listen,

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Speaker 1: I hope you have two hundred and thirty seven dollars

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Speaker 1: just to buy the part you want money from? You

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Speaker 1: want money from me? Are you on drugs? Dude? Why

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Speaker 1: won money my car? Bro? I had to pay for it?

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Speaker 1: Of course I want money, you'd have to pay for it.

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Speaker 1: I was just calling you to say sorry, and now

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Speaker 1: you're hitting me up for money. That's kind of rude.

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Speaker 1: Don't you think? I don't even know you? Why would

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Speaker 1: I give you money? Sorry? Hold on, I mean are

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Speaker 1: you with me? You know? I don't think Wait on, no, wait,

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Speaker 1: you said it's rude to ask for money after you

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Speaker 1: hit my car? Is that what you're saying? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: don't even know you. Like if we were buddies, I

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Speaker 1: might be like, sure, I'll let you borrow two hundred

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Speaker 1: and thirty bucks or whatever you said it was. But

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Speaker 1: we don't even know each other. I just on my block.

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Speaker 1: Are you that? Are you live on my block? Are

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Speaker 1: you that? New guys? I'm gonna up. What's wrong with you?

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Speaker 1: You sound really upset, like you've been combative this whole time. Well,

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Speaker 1: you're hitting my car three days ago and you're calling

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Speaker 1: me three days after to tell me you're sorry, and

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Speaker 1: then you say that it's root for me to ask

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Speaker 1: you for money to fix the cards I already fixed.

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Speaker 1: If I loan your money, what do you want it for?

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Speaker 1: Because I want to make sure you're gonna use it

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Speaker 1: for something good. I'm gonna find out who you're on

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Speaker 1: mone off you up, and I'm gonna take that money.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take more than your mine. I'm gonna take

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Speaker 1: your dignity. You're dune. Okay. Look, I wasn't gonna say anything,

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Speaker 1: but I called to apologize, and now you're being a

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Speaker 1: You're being a total and I called to apologize. I

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Speaker 1: called to apologize to you. Listen, I'm gonna get off

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Speaker 1: the phone. Rain at dude. I just funt you to

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Speaker 1: know that I am looking for you. You understand that

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Speaker 1: I'm being root for ask to ask for money. You

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Speaker 1: are on drugs. I can't wait to get ahold of you.

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Speaker 1: Look all right, fine, cake, you want money? Right? Think

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Speaker 1: about that for a second. Just think of that for

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Speaker 1: a second. Do I want money? What do you think? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you want some money, I can give you the money. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just waiting. I'm waiting for something to dunk out

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Speaker 1: of your mouth. Why would you think something dum's gonna

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Speaker 1: come out of my mouth? Because that's all you've been

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Speaker 1: saying for the fast three minutes. I'm trying to work

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Speaker 1: with you. You're not trying to do anything, but you're

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Speaker 1: pulling my leg right now, and you know and funny

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Speaker 1: and be arrogant. Go ahead, keep going. Okay, I will

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Speaker 1: give you the money, but we got to discuss the

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Speaker 1: loan first. I'll pay you the two hundred and thirty

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Speaker 1: seven dollars you want at eight percent. Do you want

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Speaker 1: you're alan? I said for damage you did to my

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Speaker 1: car's wrong with you? Do you want to pay that

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Speaker 1: off in like a monthly fee or how do you

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Speaker 1: want to go about it? Because I can do like

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Speaker 1: fifty bucks a month if you want. It's so fun,

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Speaker 1: it's so easy, right to hide behind your phone and

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Speaker 1: call me and talk to be Yeah, yeah about a loan.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it's easy. Right, It is all in my

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Speaker 1: house and tell me exactly the same thing you're gonna do.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to go to your house. Yeah, come over,

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Speaker 1: all right, come over my house bringing your loan? What's

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Speaker 1: your alan? With you? Man? I can't wait to get

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Speaker 1: a loan from you. Okay, honestly, I'm scared to come

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Speaker 1: to your house. Oh you shouldn't be. Why you sho

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Speaker 1: to hold me money? If I meet your wife, I'm

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Speaker 1: scared that she might fall in love with me and

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Speaker 1: you don't want that. I mean I already wrecked your car.

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Speaker 1: You don't want me taking your wife too? You know

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Speaker 1: what I might get off the phone. I'm gonna go

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Speaker 1: ask you every never who who are you little? Because

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Speaker 1: your wife? Because your wife, Sarah wanted me to call you?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean? What? What? I don't want what?

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Speaker 1: Because this is my wife asked you to call me,

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Speaker 1: because this is actually Jewel from brook and Jewel. In

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Speaker 1: the morning, I'm moving ninety two point five doing a

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Speaker 1: phone tap on you. Your wife Sarah said you up. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm like really about to punch my steering wheel right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm in my car. Really, you sound so calm? Listen.

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Speaker 1: If you still want that loan, we can work that out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: thank you. I gotta go into my shirt and sweating

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Speaker 1: right now. I'm so angry. Wake up every morning with

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Speaker 1: jubil funk tabs weekday mornings on the twenties, Holy On

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Speaker 1: removing ninety two point five