WEBVTT - Kendra Wilkinson is The Girl Next Door No More 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:17.720 Welcome everybody to I Do Part two. We're just a 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.240 few of your hosts here on the podcast is Amy 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:24.319 Robock and TJ. Holmes, and today we have a very 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.680 special guest. You have known her for years, and we 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:30.080 actually had to double check the date because. 0:00:29.840 --> 0:00:30.680 We can't believe. 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:35.240 She made her debut, her television debut on The Girls 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.240 next Door all the way back in two thousand and five. 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:42.400 So yeah, that was twenty years ago. And since then, 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.720 she's had her own reality shows. She's a realtor. Of course, 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:49.080 she is a mom, and like everyone that we've had 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:53.160 on this show and present parties included, she's gone through 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.720 a very public divorce and we're going to talk about 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:59.280 it all today and well, we just want Kendra Wilkinson 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:02.000 to know that she is in good company and in 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:05.920 a very safe, soft place here with us on this podcast, 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:08.720 because yes, we've all been through something similar. 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:11.400 Kendra, Thank you for being here, Thank you for having me. 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:13.520 It's so good to be here with you guys. And 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:17.560 if there's two people, I trust it to you guys. 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:19.560 You guys are as real as it can get. And 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:22.320 I'm all about real. I've always been real. That's why 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:26.080 I've lasted twenty years in reality TV because people see 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:27.840 it in the eyes. They know that I'm real, So 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:30.800 you know, real, real me, It's real. Here we go. 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:31.959 You know. 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:34.560 I always say that certain folks find each other. You 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:37.880 can tell immediately when you find your tribe. And yes, 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.319 it takes sometimes people going through something and sometimes of 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:43.959 public flogging unfortunately, but it is really cool to have 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.280 you all these things you've gone through and we seem 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:50.160 like we've watched you grow up, become an adult, get married, 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:52.720 get all these things. Is there some part all these 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.320 things are so personal? Is there some of it that 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:58.680 you think maybe shouldn't be done in the public eye? 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:01.720 Yeah? Yeah, I mean, you know, there's two there's a 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:06.120 many different like ways to look at this. There's there's Playboy, 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:10.400 there's show business, there's a media attention. There's like so 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:14.280 many different ways of looking at what I've done, you know, 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.080 And a lot of people focus a lot on like, 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:19.960 oh you did Playboy, Playboy, Playboy, but no one really 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:23.120 focuses and on like what it took to actually shoot 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:26.200 a reality TV show and what it does? What it what? 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:29.520 How much it takes to shoot a reality TV show? 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:32.400 And it took every ounce of my soul. Like that's 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:34.200 why they call it sell the soul and the devil. 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:37.280 Like I sell, I sold. I sold the god damn devil. 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:40.720 And and yeah, there's a price to pay with that. 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:43.240 There's a major price to pay with that. I have 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:44.760 a lot of regrets when it comes to that. I 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:47.240 don't have regrets with Playboy and all that, but I 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.960 have regrets on like, you know, where things went with 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:55.120 show business. So yeah, I mean, you know, there's we 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:57.720 made choice. We make choices, and we reap what we sew. 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:00.840 It is what it is. But you know, like and 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:04.160 I take full responsibility for my choices and my actions 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:06.600 and everything like that. But you know, like there was 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.240 a lot of pressure on me. There was a lot 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:15.079 of pressure, like shows called Kendra Kendra Sells, Hollywood, Kendra 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:19.960 Kendra on Top Kendra Kendra Kendra. Like you know, like 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:24.640 there's a major pressure on my shoulders to entertain and 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:28.240 to give the audience what they want and to get 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:31.240 you know, and to draw blood and to you know, 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:35.640 make people laugh, make people cry, make people you know, relate, 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:39.160 you know, And I sold a lot of my soul 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.960 that way, and you know, you can't get it back. 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:45.400 So like, you know, I always thought, like, oh, sharing 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:48.480 the realists and the rawest part of me would would 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:51.480 would would be the best way to go, you know, 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:54.800 with storytelling. And I did that, but you know, it 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.400 came with consequences. It came with a lot of media 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:01.960 attention and you know of a lot of people, you know, 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:05.920 not respect, like a lot of hate, a lot of criticizing. 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:09.320 So you know, and I can't I'm only one person. 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:11.680 I can't take on the world like that. So it 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.920 definitely hit me hard, what you know, It hit me 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.800 hard at one point and it and I crumbled and 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:20.880 I fell to my knees begging for mercy. And that's 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:24.039 you know, and that's that's kind of how things played out, 0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:26.240 you know, over the course of twenty years. 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.360 And yeah, over the course of twenty years. Kendrick. 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:32.600 Yeah, as we said, you started on that show in 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:36.279 two thousand and five, if my calculations are correct, because 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:38.280 you are still thirty nine years old. You were a 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:43.839 teenager when you started in this not just the television business, 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:48.040 but this was a highly sexualized, some would say over sexualized. 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:49.760 Yeah, part of. 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.440 Television, not just the magazine. But now you're one of 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:55.560 Hugh Hefner's girlfriends one of three, I think initially at 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:58.760 the time. But you again, you were nineteen. So I 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.400 hear you saying, I take for responsibility for my actions, 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.479 I take responsibility for my decisions. 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.680 But you were just a baby. I'm sorry, but you 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:09.480 were a baby. How did you get in that position 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:10.320 to begin with? 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:15.520 You know, like I, I was a horrible teenager, Like 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.799 I was horrible, Like I was a runaway. I sold 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:22.080 cocaine at the age of fifteen, Like I was more 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.920 like a runaway from home. I never really, you know, 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:32.080 had a stable life, and so I went looking for 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:34.880 the wrong things. I went looking for dark things, I 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:38.840 went looking for fun. And and now I'm not saying 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.360 that everything I did was dark and wrong. I'm saying that, like, 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:45.039 you know, it was easy to take that one way 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.560 ticket to LA into the Playboy mansion, where how vulnerable 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:53.279 I was, And you know, I also regret, you know, not, 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.520 you know, fighting at a young age to go to college. 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:59.200 You know, like I felt like I always had to 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:03.200 fight for my self and my life in certain ways. 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:07.159 So like it, you know, it just kind of I 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:09.680 took the easy route. I took an easy road out. 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:12.359 But you know, like who has the money to go 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:14.279 to college? Like I never had the money to go 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:17.200 to college. So like, you know, I mean it's easy 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:20.520 for people like me to wander and to you know, 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.680 wander into the gates of a playboy mansion. So that's 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:26.159 what I did. I wandered in there at eighteen years old. 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:33.320 And you know, now I'm saying that I can honestly 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:36.000 look back and say that I was safer at the 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:39.320 Playwood Mansion than I was at fifteen years old dealing drugs. 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:40.120 Wow. 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:44.200 So in that case, like I was safe. I was 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:48.160 in a safe environment. I was healthy, eating salads every day, 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:51.960 working out every day, no drugs every day. Like, so 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:54.320 I was in a safe environment at the Playwood Mansion. 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:58.719 But was I sexualized? Absolutely? Did that cause me problems 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:02.839 later in life? Absolutely? So you know, like you know, 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:06.320 choices become their consequences for every choice you make. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:11.120 How did that have an impact that environment on a Again, 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:13.680 you're a teenager. You hadn't been necessarily exposed to healthy 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:15.920 relationships at that point in your life, but it puts 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:17.800 you on a certain path. Of course, we'll get into 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:20.640 your marriage and divorce in a second, But what did 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:24.440 that do to you in shape what you thought a 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:28.320 relationship was should be and the type of person even 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:29.680 you were interested in. 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:33.920 Yeah. Look, I struggle still to this day with my 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:38.240 relationships and my my views on sex, and I kind of, 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:39.920 you know, I had to go through a lot of therapy, 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:42.440 like and you know, they looked at me and they're like, 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:44.560 this is the first time I'm admitting this. But they're like, 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:46.720 you might have like a little bit of a sex problem, 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.000 Like you have a little bit of a problem when 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:50.240 it comes to thinking of sex. 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:52.440 What kind of a sex problem, Kendra? What did they 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:54.040 What were you referring to specifically? 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.240 You know, it's just unhealthy thoughts, like just like not 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:02.680 really settling for like, you know, a marriage and stuff 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:04.960 like that, which is not I wouldn't say unhealthy. I'm 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.880 saying that, you know, everyone has their choices and some 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:09.680 people want to be single, some people want to be 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:12.480 married some people and I'm just you know, and I 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:15.720 and I'm more of a fun, idea type of person, 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:21.000 you know. So, but you know, my marriage, you know, 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.680 my marriage was at was my happiest days of my 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.680 entire life. My marriage were I mean, I'm telling you 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.960 those days were the happiest days of my life. And 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:36.080 so when those days came to an end, I crumbled 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:41.440 so hard and it almost killed me. It almost killed me. Wow, 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:44.400 I can say that I managed to. You know, I 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:48.520 left the playwek mansion at age twenty three, got pregnant, 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:52.840 got married at the age of twenty three, then started 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:55.240 my life as a as a wife and a mother, 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.120 and it was the golden years of my life. And 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:00.680 you know, I went from the play with me all 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:04.680 like all of a sudden too like this this this 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:07.880 this like marriage life in a blink of an eye, 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:11.280 and and it was the right timing. You know. I 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:15.199 I found myself just you know, so bored at the 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:18.120 playroom mansion. I was just like, I'm ready to leave 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:20.920 this place. I'm ready to start a family. I'm ready 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:24.520 for the I'm ready for like Calabasas lifestyle. You know, 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:27.160 my kids go to a great school. You know, I'm 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:30.000 a soccer mom, I'm a softball mom, like I'm a 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:33.400 basketball mom, like you know, like I was like ready 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:36.800 for that, and so it all came. I manifested it 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:38.960 and it came to me and I met the perfect man, 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.719 the man of my dreams, and he's still even though 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:45.000 we're divorced. He's the father of my kids, and he's 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:47.720 the most amazing father to my kids. And I know 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.360 I chose right with him, you know, even to this day. 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:54.040 Help you got to help help us and help other 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:57.000 people who will hear that the man of my dreams. 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:59.560 I was the happiest I'd ever been. He is a 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:04.800 great father to these kids. Why is that relationship not 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:10.120 still solid or even worth fighting for? Listening to you now, 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:12.480 it sounds like it's still something there. 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:16.040 Yeah, yeah there. Look, you know, like I'm one person 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:19.199 that can kind of you know, we're human, We're human. 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:22.880 We all have mistakes, We've all made mistakes, and you know, 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:26.720 we just made I think that Hank and I being young, 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:29.240 like we just made too many of them. And I 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:33.200 think that it was it wasn't repairable at a certain point. 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:37.200 So like we just decided to like cheers, like over 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:39.960 over a drink and be like, hey, let's call it 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:43.360 a day. Let's raise these kids, right, you know, let's 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:47.640 not you know, let's not chase like this this fantasy, 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:52.560 this fantasy, you know, and who knows, maybe later, you know, 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:57.199 I want I want that again. But let me tell 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.680 you something. I have not found it yet. I have 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:04.400 not found that thing again. So it's it's going to 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.840 be a hard This dating life is brutal, it's gross, 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:12.840 it's it's it's hard in it. And I'm not finding 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:15.760 I'm not finding a marriage number two just yet. 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:17.640 Well, Kendra, I'm just curious. 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:21.840 And for people who don't know you and your husband, Hank, 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.160 you divorced in twenty nineteen, but you stood by him 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:29.800 after a pretty big cheating scandal and uh, we don't 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:31.400 have to get into all of the details, but it 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:34.160 was very public and I can only imagine how that 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.440 must have felt. It must have felt humiliating for both 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:38.680 of you, with all the details that came. And it 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.480 was a he said, she said whatever, But you forgave 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:42.960 him for that. 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:47.360 They did, you took him back. So it seemed like, 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:48.960 my god, you guys got through. 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:49.880 That, we did. 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:52.520 Why couldn't you get through what was next? 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:56.120 What happened next that made it so it was not okay, 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:57.680 so that it was intolerable. 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:02.560 I honestly, there's a you know, it takes two people 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.560 to be in a relationship, and when one person has 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:10.280 when one person changes their minds on love and marriage, 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.200 that's how easy it is for it to fall apart. 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:22.520 So I will always always want my family back together. 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:26.200 I will always want that, so till the day I die, 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:28.480 I don't know, like if I have another chance at 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:31.520 marriage with that man or not, Like I will always 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:36.040 want my kids to have these two parents together. But 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:39.120 unfortunately that's a fantasy, you know. So I have to 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:41.840 march in the reality of things, and I have to 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:45.640 be in this disgusting scum dating. 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:51.280 Oh, Kendra, Kendra, it sounds it sounds like you're still 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.120 in love with Hank. 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:55.120 I will always be in love with Hank. I will 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:57.520 always be in love. And you know, mistakes are mistakes, 0:12:57.520 --> 0:13:00.480 like we all make mistakes. I've made my mistakes, like 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:04.040 you know. And and but love will never go away. 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.360 And and if it's real love, you're you're gonna put 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:09.480 your pride aside and want the best for the other person. 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:11.680 And I and I want the best for the other 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:15.480 person so badly. I'm you know, I'm willing to be 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:18.280 you know, friends with him. I'm willing to like there's 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.559 no need for bitterness and there's no need for toxicity. 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:26.560 So I've through these last six years, I have done 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.840 so much therapy. I've gone even to the hospital for 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:35.520 seven days to just reprogram my thinking, and I did 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:38.640 that and it really works. So I'm now living in 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:41.280 the state of peace of mind. You know, I'm on 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:43.880 good meds. You know, I'm just in a really good 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:47.079 place right now. And you know, taking up but taking 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:50.040 up this uh, taking up this new venture and real 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:54.360 estate has really has really you know, got me to 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:58.840 focus in on that and not like so much you know, 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:02.839 like the past and you know, regrets and stuff like that. 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:07.200 So I'm like so focused on building my real estate 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:11.160 career that nothing is like, nothing is entering my my 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:14.680 world right now other than friends and fun and good stuff. 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:27.600 Kindred at this point, would you consider it almost a 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:30.720 setback to all the work you've done. If Hank approached 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:34.480 you sincerely and said, I want to talk about us 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.920 being together again. It sounds like certainly you haven't closed 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:40.440 the door necessarily completely your mind. But would that be 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.440 a bad thing for you to have to go back 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:44.880 to and start thinking about again. 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:49.040 I think that we would both have to be healed properly, 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:51.840 And I don't know that other person's healing. I'm not 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:55.200 that person, So you know, I think it just has 0:14:55.280 --> 0:15:00.840 to do with like timing and heal, like healing and 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:04.200 and the wanting to be in a relationship, and some 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:06.920 people don't want to be if it's not with my 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:10.640 ex husband Hank, Like, I wouldn't want to. I don't. 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:14.560 I don't find it fun to want to settle for someone. 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.160 I don't find it. I'm kind of in a fun 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:19.760 zone right now. I'm about to sturt party in June, 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:24.280 so I have like fun ideas more than just like 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.640 settling for. Like there's like a couple guys in my 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.880 life and I'm like that one just send me flowers, 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.400 you know, And I'm just like, what is this for? 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:36.560 What is you know? Like I like, what what did 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:39.600 I do? Like, Like what what does he want? Like 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:44.120 I overthink everything, you know, And I'm just like I'm 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:48.600 not the type to probably settle down just yet with anybody. Now. 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:50.480 If my ex came to me and be like, let's 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.040 let's like have a family again, I'm. 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:56.320 Like, yeah. But other than that, it's going to have 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.240 to be Prince Darmans is He's gonna have to be 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:00.880 pretty wonderful too to catch you. 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:03.400 We had a great relationship we used to, you know, 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.280 I hold on to only happy memories. So we used 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.800 to go, like, you have a trailer, and we used to, 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:12.600 you know, take the trailer out all over the world, 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.320 all over the country, and and we used to like 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:19.320 go go to the lake, and like we had amazing summers. 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.520 We used to go back to his hometown for his 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:25.800 small hometown, and you know, for for for the holidays, 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.280 and we just I just hold on to happy memories. 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.600 And you know, I guess I have a problem with 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:34.040 trying to duplicate that so that someone doesn't come into 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.800 my life with like a you know, with with a 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:39.240 with a forward truck with a trailer on the back, 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:42.600 like let's go cam, Like I don't want it, you know, 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.320 it's like it's so weird. So if someone sends me flowers, 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.000 I'm like, I want to I want a trailer on 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.040 the back of a pickup truck, not a not a 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:53.600 not some flowers. Right now, it's. 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:55.320 Good to know what you want. That's very good to 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:55.960 know what you want. 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.560 Maybe we should introduce her. We're going to be talking 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.680 to the new guys from the show Former Wants a Wife. 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:03.520 We're gonna we're gonna be talking. 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:05.800 They have a lot of pickups and a lot of cowboys, 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:07.480 a lot of trailers among these guys. 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:08.600 So maybe well, there we. 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:11.880 Go, tell them about me. Please tell us, all. 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.040 Right, we will love us. That's a great idea to 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:14.480 j No. 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.520 But Kender, I've been seeing you putting out on social media. 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:22.600 You're working out, You're proud of what you look like 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.879 as you near forty, and you know what you do 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:30.000 look amazing. But you talked about in your Instagram post haters, 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:35.280 you're actually getting hate out there for being you and 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:36.560 being your amazing self. 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:41.280 It's just it's just so weird. You know. I feel 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:45.640 like I think I you know, I started Reality TV 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:49.080 and Playboy eighteen nineteen years old, and that's when the 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.000 peak of my fame was, you know, right around there. 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.800 So I think that people hold on to this this 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:58.840 image of me and I you know, I'm not saying everyone. 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:02.600 I'm saying certain people hold on to this image like oh, 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:06.720 you should always be this Playboy girl or whatever. But reality, 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.680 you know, the reality burst and bubble Popps a long 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:13.320 time ago. I'm a forty year old woman. You know, 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:16.520 I have love handles now, I have a bush like 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:20.359 you know, like it's it's it's it's not playboy anymore, Okay, 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:23.600 And it's it's not it's not cute, but it's you know, 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:25.200 it's going to be for the right man. 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:28.440 Is that going to help your dating prospects? And put 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:31.200 that out there? They come on, we're trying to help, 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:32.000 I know. 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:35.399 But that guy's gonna have to accept all of you know, 0:18:35.960 --> 0:18:38.720 I love that though we're really getting older and that 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:40.639 and whoever is going to be with me is going 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:43.479 to love all of me for forever, like, not just 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.800 a part of me for a temporary so you know that. 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:49.399 So that person has to buckle up and ride that 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:52.960 rodeo all the way because it's it's not cute, it's 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:56.720 not playboy, it's it's nasty, as you know, can be 0:18:56.880 --> 0:19:00.960 a lot of the times. I'm kind of a mess kender. 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:02.120 Is that empowering though? 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:05.760 Because I imagine being someone and we both you said it 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:09.639 to You were sexualized, you were coveted, you were drop 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:12.560 dead and you still are. But obviously at eighteen, it's 0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:16.520 you can't ever be that again, this drop dead, gorgeous 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:17.639 playboy model. 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:19.600 A lot of. 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:23.560 Women in your position would create, and understandably so, all 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:25.760 their value in how they look. And then when you 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:29.439 start aging, it starts unraveling. How have you managed that? 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:30.560 Where that was the thing? 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:33.080 You know, people are like, Oh, she's so gorgeous, she's 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:36.479 a playboy model, she's perfect. How do you handle that 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:41.560 when now you are forty and dating again and there's 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:44.280 this image of you out there and maybe you even 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:46.920 hold it or at one point held it within yourself. 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:48.159 How do you manage that? 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:54.320 Yeah, look, I just take I'm one personally, this is 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:57.200 my journey. I'm on. I'm not. This isn't to preach 0:19:57.280 --> 0:20:00.399 to anyone or to like everyone can live under their 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:03.919 own standards or their own lives. But for me, personally, 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.600 I'm on this road of just like like, even though 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:09.600 my boots are fake and I got a tummy tuck 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:12.399 one and I have a little botox in my face, Like, 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:15.560 I want to live in a pretty authentic life. So 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.040 like you know, and and with age, you know, I'm 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:21.480 all about law of attraction and stuff like that. So 0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:25.200 I don't I don't feel like you know how Pam 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:29.400 Anderson is going makeup free and everything like that. I'm 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:32.359 this very similar. I have a very similar outlook on 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:36.360 life at the moment. So I've been sexualized for so much, 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:39.320 just like she was, you know, and we went through 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:44.720 similar things, and I'm kind of over chasing this fake thing. 0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:50.720 I'm over I'm over chasing this thing. So in the meantime, like, 0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:54.360 will I get boat talks again? Absolutely? You know, will 0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:58.399 I work out, will I diet? Absolutely? But you know, 0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:01.160 I'm just going to ride through life the way it's 0:21:01.160 --> 0:21:04.160 supposed to go. And you know, if if a guy 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:06.920 doesn't like me because oh I just went on this date, 0:21:07.280 --> 0:21:10.760 my dumb ass, my dumb ass, I go to this 0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:13.560 I go on this date to Hawaii. This guy's like, 0:21:13.640 --> 0:21:15.560 you're gonna go to Hawaii? And I'm like, yeah, He's like, 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:19.240 I don't date anyone over thirty. I'm like, whose problems that? 0:21:19.440 --> 0:21:22.399 You know? That's not mine? You know that's not mine. 0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:26.080 So I'm I'm not gonna sit here and like transform 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:30.399 myself to fit other people's needs anymore. I used to 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:33.119 do that, and Playboy, I used to like, you know, 0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:36.920 need to look a certain way or need to feel 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:40.399 a certain way. But look, as long as I'm working 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:44.280 out at least three days a week, if I'm cooking 0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:48.320 and cooking for me and my kids, I'm on the 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:52.639