WEBVTT - Hurricane Milton - Emergency Pod

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<v Speaker 1>Casha.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey guys, it's me Dan Tosh and this sadly is

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<v Speaker 2>a true emergency pod. Eddie hit the sirens. The sirens

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<v Speaker 2>should sound more like like an alarm to get to

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<v Speaker 2>higher ground or something.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's pretty good. It's not like the last part.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not.

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<v Speaker 2>When you can't change the alarm sound mid alarm, then

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<v Speaker 2>it sounds like an old car alarm from the early nineties.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's what we're doing, guys. It's Wednesday, October ninth, ninth ninth.

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<v Speaker 2>It is the day before Hurricane Milton destroys my family.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man, if ever on a emergency pod was actually necessary.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing this so that all the people that are

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<v Speaker 2>reaching out to me can just watch this. Uh, instead

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<v Speaker 2>of me replying to everyone, will my family evacuate? My

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<v Speaker 2>in laws have all evacuated. They live over in Sarasota.

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<v Speaker 2>Now my family, they all live on Merritt Island. They

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<v Speaker 2>would they would never evacuate. You're not gonna call my

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<v Speaker 2>parents pussies. No, there there couldn't be a storm surge

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<v Speaker 2>big enough to get them out, as you were called

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<v Speaker 2>the last time. Uh, they had a storm surge there.

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<v Speaker 2>They lost their peer and my sister was was out

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<v Speaker 2>in the in the waters trying to save her peer,

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<v Speaker 2>and then they rebuilt it by hand, my father who's

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<v Speaker 2>way too old to be doing it. Uh, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>no permits or experience in building a peer. They rebuilt

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<v Speaker 2>their entire pier. So I'm sure they're they're terrified that

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<v Speaker 2>they're gonna lose their peer again.

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<v Speaker 1>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>And fairness to my folks, you know, their explanation is

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<v Speaker 2>logical of why they never like to evacuate, because what

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<v Speaker 2>happens is the storm is bad, but it's only bad

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<v Speaker 2>for a bit. Then getting back to your place, a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of times roads are closed and you can't get

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<v Speaker 2>back for days, and that's when a lot of the

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<v Speaker 2>damage happens. So that's their mentality is well, if I

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<v Speaker 2>was there, I could pick things up and it wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>get destroyed, you know, like sitting water now, I you know,

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<v Speaker 2>grew up in a family that never evacuated. And also

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<v Speaker 2>the coverage has changed. Now are you watching the weather channel?

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<v Speaker 2>Is this only interesting to me the storms or do

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<v Speaker 2>you guys tune into it?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm watching too.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, Eddie's got family in the area. Did your folks evacuate, Eddies?

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<v Speaker 3>They did. They went to dustin, Florida.

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<v Speaker 2>They went to Dustin, Okay. So your family's a bunch

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<v Speaker 2>of cowards too. So I'm watching the Weather Channel. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>I keep it on. I like the bad graphics. It

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<v Speaker 2>reminds me, honestly of Tosh point zero when I see

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<v Speaker 2>them standing there on the green screen with the fakeness

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<v Speaker 2>all around that. A lot of people know this about

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<v Speaker 2>Byron Allen, a comedian. He bought the Weather Channel I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, fifty years ago for seven dollars. Who knew

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<v Speaker 2>at the time other than Byron Allen that climate change,

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<v Speaker 2>which would make storms more fierce, would now be such

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<v Speaker 2>a hot commodity because I go to the Weather Channel

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<v Speaker 2>almost exclusively for my information when it comes to tracking hurricanes.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's my problem with the Weather Channel. You don't know

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<v Speaker 2>when a storm's coming, right, So all those ad dollars

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<v Speaker 2>are sold throughout the year. Then a storm comes all

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<v Speaker 2>of a sudden, people start watching the Weather Channel. But

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<v Speaker 2>guess what, they still got the horrible ads, the cheap

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<v Speaker 2>ads running. It's like there needs to be premium ads.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh there's a hurricane, people are gonna start watching this channel. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>let's have real companies advertised, because the ads that are

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<v Speaker 2>on there right now are just horribly embarrassing.

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<v Speaker 1>You got your sleep apnea stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Sure, there's actually a commercial I've been seeing on the

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<v Speaker 2>Weather Channel right now. It's a boner pill for teenagers. Literally, like,

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<v Speaker 2>what is this? I couldn't think of a medication less needed.

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<v Speaker 2>My point is, I think they need to come up with, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>there's a storm. Okay, all of your ads get booted,

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<v Speaker 2>and now let's have some real sponsors come in.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's the thing with the coverage on the Weather Channel.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, with a hurricane, you know, they make a

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<v Speaker 2>meal out of it. As soon as a little low

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<v Speaker 2>pressure starts to form, it turns into a tropical storm. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>here we go, let's name it. And then she jumps

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<v Speaker 2>up to a Cat five. Oh jackpot, that's a Ratians bonanza.

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<v Speaker 2>But meanwhile, in California, the last earthquake we had a

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<v Speaker 2>few weeks ago, in the middle of it, my phone

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<v Speaker 2>gave me a warning halfway through. I'm like, oh, that's helpful.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no money in earthquakes. People always say, oh, you're California,

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna fall into the ocean. I've been hearing that

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<v Speaker 2>since I was five years old. Guess what still here?

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<v Speaker 2>What's gonna happen?

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<v Speaker 1>First?

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<v Speaker 2>Is California gonna fall into the ocean? Or is Florida

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be underwater? These are things I've been here in

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<v Speaker 2>my whole life and they haven't happened yet. So why

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<v Speaker 2>not live there and enjoy it? And if it happens

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<v Speaker 2>to fall in the ocean, hopefully I'm on the road.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hm. You know, I'll miss my wife, but damn it,

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<v Speaker 1>she can be replaced. You gotta move on, you have to.

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<v Speaker 1>She would want me.

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<v Speaker 2>To find happiness with someone younger and more attractive. You

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<v Speaker 2>know what, though, I do need to check in. I

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<v Speaker 2>need to check in to make sure that that my

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<v Speaker 2>mother is safe and that their peer is intact. Let's see,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm got a real report here. Yeah, unbelievable. Well, I

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<v Speaker 2>hate to do this, but it's an emergency pod. So

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<v Speaker 2>I think my father would understand.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, tell mom to pick up her phone.

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<v Speaker 3>Pick up your phone? Okay, that all?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'll call right back.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm working on a puzzle.

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<v Speaker 2>I have unbelievable I'm worried sick about you guys. I

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<v Speaker 2>need to get a full port. What's the current wind speed?

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<v Speaker 1>There. I don't know is it is it blowing?

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<v Speaker 3>It's raining, it's raining.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you worried about a storm surge?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 1>I heard you could expect up to puzzle.

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<v Speaker 2>I heard you could expect up to three to five

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<v Speaker 2>feet in your area for the storm surge.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh please, we're not on the ocean. That's that's Tampa.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, Tampa. Can I expect nine to fifteen feet?

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<v Speaker 3>They don't know? We'll see.

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<v Speaker 1>Nah. Are you worried about your peer?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 1>Would you?

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's it's stronger now than it was before.

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<v Speaker 2>Would you rebuild it again if you lost it?

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<v Speaker 3>Mike said he's going to work tomorrow. He go on

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<v Speaker 3>his Grandpa out there fixing the doc tomorrow. It'll be fine.

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<v Speaker 3>I do feel bad for people that are alone. If

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<v Speaker 3>I were by myself, I would pray not like that?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you guys? Do you and Dad want to fly

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<v Speaker 1>out here?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 3>No, we kept Missy right here in the next not

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<v Speaker 3>with us.

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<v Speaker 2>But I know I get it. Well, how many how

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<v Speaker 2>many piece puzzle are you working on?

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<v Speaker 3>You know this is only three hundred because I don't

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<v Speaker 3>have room for a five hundred. And now Dad's trying

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<v Speaker 3>to eat a bowl of soup, and he's pushing my

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<v Speaker 3>puzzle pieces all around.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, have you have you already got the outline done?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, I'm on the inside.

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<v Speaker 1>Nice. All right, Well send me a photo of that.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll show it to you. Yeah, all right, I like

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<v Speaker 3>to do puzzles.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, that's good information. I'll get you a puzzle.

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<v Speaker 1>All right. Well, enjoy your storm.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, we're waiting. Okay, bye bye.

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<v Speaker 1>You shouldn't say I love you back. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>How in the world my mom not going to answer

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<v Speaker 2>the phone because she's working on a puzzle.

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<v Speaker 1>It's almost like it's not even it's not even a

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<v Speaker 1>hurricane there for.

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<v Speaker 2>That couldn't care less about a storm. That's interesting's working

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<v Speaker 2>on now, you say, Daniel, can't you put your parents

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<v Speaker 2>up in a place where they have enough space to

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<v Speaker 2>do a five hundred piece puzzle? No, my parents, they

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<v Speaker 2>live and I'm pretty sure it's three hundred square foot

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<v Speaker 2>little guest house on my sister's property, and they just

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't be happier. Just oh, we have a tiny little table,

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<v Speaker 2>Dan's eating soup. Can't can't get a bigger puzzle. It's

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<v Speaker 2>just nice knowing that their life is exactly what I

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<v Speaker 2>always think it's gonna be.

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<v Speaker 1>All right.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I you know, I hope, I hope they're right.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope the storm spares most people. And for those

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<v Speaker 2>people that are alone out there in the storm, head

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<v Speaker 2>on over to my parents' house. They'll they'll, they'll invite

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<v Speaker 2>you in. They'll do the Christian thing.

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<v Speaker 3>M m.

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<v Speaker 1>H eddie hit the sirens.

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<v Speaker 3>Now what now.

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<v Speaker 1>That sounds like I'm like, you're starting to change something.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like a return to normal life.

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<v Speaker 1>What's that's awful?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we'll put some we'll put some different ones over that,

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<v Speaker 2>so it sounds like you did something good, all right.

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<v Speaker 1>See