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Speaker 1: Friends, Romans, countrymen. Welcome to gek mail. For those who

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Speaker 1: don't know, gek mail is a version of this podcast

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Speaker 1: where instead of talking to callers on the phone and

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Speaker 1: having a dialogue as in a conversation between two people,

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Speaker 1: gek mail is where I read emails and have a

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Speaker 1: monologue with myself like an insane person. And it's fun

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Speaker 1: and I just get to make words come out of

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Speaker 1: my mouth and you listen to them, and I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You can pay attention, or you can just put this

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Speaker 1: on in the background while you're doing something else. I

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Speaker 1: won't bother you. I want to ask you what you're

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Speaker 1: doing unless you want me to. But that would involve

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Speaker 1: like making a clone of myself that can come out

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Speaker 1: of the TV or the phone or the computer or

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Speaker 1: whatever this is on and be with you. I think

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Speaker 1: that's where we're heading as a society, is you're going

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Speaker 1: to be able to make an AI version of your

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about that today. It freaks me out,

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Speaker 1: freaks me out, new subject. I'm sick. So that's good.

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Speaker 1: And this is boring. I'm gonna stop being boring and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get into some emails. Let's start with this one.

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Speaker 1: It says trauma, mommy issues, and a man who won't

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Speaker 1: move out. Dear therapy Gecko, please keep me anonymous, Call

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Speaker 1: me Nigella. I'm writing to you at a bit of

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Speaker 1: a loss. I'm conflicted, confused, and conscious of wasting time

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Speaker 1: for context. I split up with my partner of ten

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Speaker 1: years last year, after years of physical and emotional abuse.

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Speaker 1: I plucked up the courage to walk away. It took

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Speaker 1: every fiber of strength out of me and left me broken.

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Speaker 1: Not because I was mourning his loss, but because I

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Speaker 1: had to mend every shard of glass he left in me.

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Speaker 1: Every harsh word still lingers, every thump still stings, and

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Speaker 1: every memory fills me with pain. Anyway, I had a

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Speaker 1: good few dates. Shout out to Hank for taking me

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Speaker 1: out last Valentine's Day. What a guy? Wait? Hold on,

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Speaker 1: are we talking about fucking Hank from the podcast? Please

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Speaker 1: respond to this and wait, Oh my god, you're talking

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Speaker 1: about Hank from the podcast. Wait you went out on

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Speaker 1: a date with Hank from the podcast? What the fuck?

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Speaker 1: The fart guy? Hank is the name of the fart

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Speaker 1: fetish guy. You guys know, I don't remember the names

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Speaker 1: of a lot of people I remember stories, I just

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Speaker 1: don't remember names. Hank I remember because he was such

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Speaker 1: a character, a British, beautiful guy. Oh wait, this is

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Speaker 1: from a UK email. Okay, this person went on a

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Speaker 1: date with our boy, Hank, the fart fetish guy from

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Speaker 1: a few episodes ago. Wait did you guys meet from

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Speaker 1: the podcast? What the fuck? Okay, Nigella, hold on, I'm sorry, Nigela.

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Speaker 1: I want to finish reading the rest of your email,

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Speaker 1: and I will, but let me know if you met

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Speaker 1: because of the podcast or what the hell happened. I'm

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Speaker 1: so curious. Holy shit. Okay, all right, one second, all right,

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Speaker 1: let's see here. Where was I? Okay? Shout out to

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Speaker 1: Hank for taking me out last Valentine's Day. What a guy.

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Speaker 1: I met, A genuinely lovely man, and we've been together

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Speaker 1: for under a year. He's got a heart of gold

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Speaker 1: and is so kind and honest with me. He's far

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Speaker 1: too attached to his mother, who is quite frankly questionable,

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Speaker 1: but we can come back to this. He's stuck with

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Speaker 1: me when said ex partner assaulted me. He's stuck by

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Speaker 1: my flashbacks, and he's kind to me in ways I

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Speaker 1: haven't seen before. However, I'm not sure how I feel.

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Speaker 1: I'm someone used to turmoil and stress, so I currently

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Speaker 1: feel stagnant. He doesn't want to move out of his

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Speaker 1: mom's house for two years. Parentheses he's well over thirty.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying I am intelligent, but we're definitely on

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Speaker 1: two different playing fields. I very much want to pursue

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Speaker 1: a doctorate, be a researcher, and keep progressing in life.

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Speaker 1: He's happy with his job, in no rush to move out,

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Speaker 1: and although he tries to listen, he doesn't really understand

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Speaker 1: what I'm going through. His mother said to him, I

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Speaker 1: asked for it because I went in my ex partner's

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Speaker 1: house willingly, and he repeated those words back to me.

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Speaker 1: I just have this gut feeling something isn't sitting right,

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Speaker 1: and I can't pinpoint what do I feel stagnant in

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Speaker 1: my career? Am I concerned about the direction of my relationship?

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Speaker 1: Or do I need to sit with this normality? Or

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Speaker 1: should I just go fart on Hank. You should totally

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Speaker 1: just go fart on Hank. I can't believe you went

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Speaker 1: out with Hank. Dude. Please let me know if you

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Speaker 1: guys met from the I mean it says that you

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Speaker 1: went out with him last Valentine's Day, which is way

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Speaker 1: before we did the episode. So I'm gonna guess you

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Speaker 1: didn't meet him through the podcast. But dude, let me

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Speaker 1: know what's up with you and Hank. That's so crazy.

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Speaker 1: I'm okay, I feel okay. I just know something isn't right.

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Speaker 1: Any advice is truly welcome. Best Witches, Nigella, Okay, let

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Speaker 1: me read this back to you. I met a genuinely

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Speaker 1: lovely man. We've been together for under a year. He

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Speaker 1: has a heart of gold and is so kind and

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Speaker 1: honest with me. He's far too attached to his mother,

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Speaker 1: who is quite frankly questionable. Nigella, Nigella, Nigella, Oh, Nigella, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I am neutral Gecko man, but this time I

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Speaker 1: am feeling as though I have a strong opinion about

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Speaker 1: Nigella's situation. So, Nigella, Nigella, you're a kind soul. You've

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Speaker 1: been through a lot of fucking shit in the past

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Speaker 1: ten years, and so I think because you've been through

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Speaker 1: it would make sense to me that because you've been

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Speaker 1: through a bunch of shit in the last ten years,

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Speaker 1: and because you had a shitty ex boyfriend, it seems

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Speaker 1: like your standards are naturally lower because you've spent so

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Speaker 1: much time with like this, this bad guy, and so

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Speaker 1: it would make sense to me. You said that you

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Speaker 1: broke up with the other guy last year, and you've

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Speaker 1: been dating this guy for a new a year, so

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Speaker 1: it seems like you moved on and got into a

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Speaker 1: new relationship fairly fast. And it would make sense to

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Speaker 1: me that as you were going doing your thing, dating

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Speaker 1: or whatever, it would make sense to me if you

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Speaker 1: just met a dude who was nice and sweet and

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Speaker 1: you were like, oh my god, I can be in

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Speaker 1: a relationship with a nice sweet man. Holy shit, Yes,

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Speaker 1: of course, of course, let's do this. Why would I

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Speaker 1: not do this? He's a nice sweet man. And I

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Speaker 1: think that this guy could very well be a nice

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Speaker 1: sweet man. But he doesn't sound like he has his

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Speaker 1: shit together, No shade to him. We're all trying to

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Speaker 1: get our shit together out in this crazy world. But

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Speaker 1: you're fucking pursuing a doctorate. You want to be a researcher,

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Speaker 1: You want to keep going in life, you want to

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Speaker 1: pursue goals. We all know that there's and there's no

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Speaker 1: right or wrong to this. There's some people who are

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Speaker 1: pery complacent with the life that they live, and there's

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Speaker 1: some people who want to keep progressing and keep going

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Speaker 1: and keep doing things. And you know, I I used

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Speaker 1: to think that I wanted to be with someone who

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Speaker 1: had an equal amount of ambition as me. And I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I think it's okay sometimes if you have

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Speaker 1: a little bit, if you have a lot of ambition,

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it's okay if your partner is a bit more

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Speaker 1: of a cheerleader than a co pilot. My friend, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if my friend was quoting someone, but my

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Speaker 1: friend told me about that concept of the cheerleader versus

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Speaker 1: the co pilot and some if you know, if you're

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Speaker 1: okay having just a partner who's a cheerleader and as

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Speaker 1: you're pursuing your doctorate and being a researcher, he's kind

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Speaker 1: of supporting you as the main protagonist, one could say,

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Speaker 1: and he's just kind of chilling, being a sweet boy

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Speaker 1: doing his thing. But the way that you're talking about this,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you're that's not cool with you. And

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Speaker 1: then also like his mom saying this crazy shit to

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Speaker 1: him and then repeating it back to you, and then

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Speaker 1: him having this like dude, here's the thing. If you're

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Speaker 1: over thirty years old and you're like, it's good to

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Speaker 1: have a good relationship with your parents, but if your

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Speaker 1: girlfriend would describe you as too attached to your mother,

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Speaker 1: that that's a red flag. That's an undeniable red flag. Uh,

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Speaker 1: living with your parents over the age of thirty. I know,

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Speaker 1: Listen again, I true, I would never I would never,

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Speaker 1: ever ever throw shade to somebody living with their parents

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Speaker 1: over thirty. I really wouldn't, I swear my life, But

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Speaker 1: it sounds like that's not the kind of person that

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Speaker 1: you you feel aligned with, especially considering he seems not

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Speaker 1: only like it'd be one thing if he was like

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Speaker 1: trying really fucking hard to get out of there, but

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Speaker 1: saying that he's not in a rush and he's kind

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Speaker 1: of just okay with like living with his mom and

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Speaker 1: not doing anything. You know, God bless him if that's

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Speaker 1: the life he wants to live. But doesn't sound like

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Speaker 1: that's the life that you want to live. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: like this guy seems like he's nice, but you want

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Speaker 1: more for yourself, and that's okay. I mean, Jesus christ Man,

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Speaker 1: going from going from like, well, not only having an

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Speaker 1: even if your partner, like wasn't abusive, right, even if

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Speaker 1: it was just a ten year relationship, Like, still, dude,

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Speaker 1: you gotta take like, yeah, take a second. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like you didn't take a second. If I were you,

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Speaker 1: I'd take a second after ten years, you know, take

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Speaker 1: a second. Go fart on, Hank, go you know, fucking

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Speaker 1: date a bunch of fucking dudes or don't or or

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Speaker 1: date yourself. But like, you don't have to be with

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Speaker 1: this guy just because he's nice. It's nice of him

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Speaker 1: to like, just because this guy is nice and listens

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Speaker 1: to you, you should want a guy who's nice and

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Speaker 1: listen to you. But that's not like enough on its own.

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Speaker 1: And that's what you're saying in this email. So that's

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Speaker 1: my ponder for you. Nigella. Dude, how did you meet Hank?

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Speaker 1: Please respond? Please respond in this thread if you hear this. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is from Anthony. My speech impediment is ruining my life. Hello, Gek,

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Speaker 1: I have been watching you for about four years and

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Speaker 1: how and have always wanted to call in, but could

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Speaker 1: never build up the courage to do so because I

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Speaker 1: stutter severely. I have had said stutter since I was

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Speaker 1: a little kid. My family's told me that is most

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Speaker 1: that it is most likely caused from childhood trauma when

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Speaker 1: I used to live with my mom. I've gone to

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Speaker 1: doctors and speech therapists in the past, but none have helped,

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Speaker 1: and they always said it'll go away when I get older,

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Speaker 1: but it clearly hasn't. Now that I'm twenty, I feel

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Speaker 1: like it is ruining my life. I avoid talking to

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Speaker 1: people due to the fear of being perceived as weird

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Speaker 1: because I got bullied a lot in high school. I

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Speaker 1: have no friends, I've never been in a relationship, I

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Speaker 1: rarely talk to my own family, and my self confidence

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Speaker 1: is at an all time low. Now all isn't bad.

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Speaker 1: I have a job and I've been able to save

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Speaker 1: up some money living with my grandma, hoping to get

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Speaker 1: a place of my own soon, and have been into

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Speaker 1: the gym weightlifting Hellia, which I very much enjoy doing.

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Speaker 1: But I know I can't keep living my life like this,

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Speaker 1: being a mute with no social life or skills, and

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Speaker 1: it haunts me. I often cry a lot, wishing I

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Speaker 1: was normal, but that just isn't the case, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it ever will be. I'm not looking

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Speaker 1: for advice. I just wanted to get this off my chest.

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Speaker 1: Love your show man, Keep getting Anthony. You're not looking

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Speaker 1: for advice, but I'm gonna ponder for a second. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna ponder with you because, actually, to be honest with you,

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Speaker 1: I read this email last night, just like coming home

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Speaker 1: from on the train, and I was touched by it.

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Speaker 1: I was really trying to fucking think about this because

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Speaker 1: this isn't related to you at all. I know that

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Speaker 1: not everyone with a stutter is the same. But there's

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Speaker 1: a comedian. His name is Donnie Sengstack. We did comment

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Speaker 1: together in Baltimore back when I was fucking sixteen years

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Speaker 1: old and handsome dude, a good comedian. Fucking I remember

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Speaker 1: looking at his Facebook catching up. He opened for me

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Speaker 1: again in Nashville at some point, like ten years later,

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Speaker 1: and I remember going to his Facebook and it's like

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Speaker 1: he graduated from UMD and got a girlfriend and like

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Speaker 1: did all this. He's living a great life. So you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a shout out another one of my friends, Benny Feldman.

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Speaker 1: He's a comedian, he has he has Turett's. Uh. He's

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Speaker 1: doing great. He's living a pretty normal life. He's you know,

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Speaker 1: dating girls and hanging out and living life. I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying you need to get into stand up comedy, but

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Speaker 1: I guess I just bring those people up because, like,

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Speaker 1: I want you to know that there are plenty of

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Speaker 1: examples of people out there who have uh, speech impediments

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Speaker 1: of some kind, and they they live normal life and

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Speaker 1: they have they have friends, and they get into relationships

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Speaker 1: and they date and they do all these things. So

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Speaker 1: it obvious, so listen. Obviously the speech impediment is not

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Speaker 1: fucking helping, of course, but it sounds like it's like

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Speaker 1: a general self confidence issue. And when you like already

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Speaker 1: have that self confidence issue and then the speech impediment

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Speaker 1: on top of it, it's like a cocktail for for

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Speaker 1: a lot of fuckery. So so do me a favor,

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna like, I've talked about this shit before,

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Speaker 1: and I really do believe in it, Like uh, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe in like manifestation in like a wu

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Speaker 1: wu sense, Like I don't believe in manifest I don't

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Speaker 1: believe that you like send signals out to like a

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Speaker 1: force of the universe outside of yourself. I think that's

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Speaker 1: kind of bullshit. But I do believe in manifestation in

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Speaker 1: the sense that, like, what you tell yourself about yourself,

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Speaker 1: like logically makes sense that that affects your actions and

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Speaker 1: what you do, and your actions and what you do,

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Speaker 1: it logically makes sense that they affect your genuine external reality.

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Speaker 1: So I do believe in manifestation you can logically say

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Speaker 1: that what you like write about yourself mentally becomes your

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Speaker 1: external reality. I believe that in some sense. So you

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Speaker 1: need to develop some form of belief that you can,

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Speaker 1: despite your life, have some semblance of a social life

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Speaker 1: that you're proud of, right, because if you go around

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Speaker 1: thinking like, oh, fuck, everyone's gonna think I'm fucking weird.

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Speaker 1: Everyone is gonna think I'm fucking uh annoying this and

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Speaker 1: that and the other thing. And by the way, brother,

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Speaker 1: it's an I dude, it's an uphill battle. Like that's

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Speaker 1: actually that's what I want you to actually, Anthony, that's

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Speaker 1: what I want you to know. That's what I really

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Speaker 1: want you to know, is that it's not the it's

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Speaker 1: probably not the speech impediment itself. I mean, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: it fucks with you a lot, but it sounds like

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Speaker 1: your mom was shitty and then you got bullied a lot,

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Speaker 1: and it just sounds like you've had like all these

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Speaker 1: like previous experiences with people being like assholes to you,

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Speaker 1: that you've internalized these other people's perceptions of you to

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Speaker 1: be your narrative truth, and so you walk around thinking

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Speaker 1: that everyone is like annoyed with you or like thinks

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Speaker 1: you're weird because you have a speech impediment. Like so

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Speaker 1: it's less so so listen, I'm not a fucking doctor.

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you if you can cure your speech impediment,

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Speaker 1: but I do believe over time what you can cure

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Speaker 1: is this narrative that you have built up in your

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Speaker 1: head about who you are and how other people perceive you,

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Speaker 1: and so that can be cured how, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Do I believe in faking it till you make it?

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Speaker 1: I just believe. I don't know. I don't know like

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Speaker 1: how you neurologically do this, but you do have to

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Speaker 1: believe that you can have a good life. Also, dude,

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Speaker 1: I also like I'm not even like saying this to

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Speaker 1: like gass you up, but like you're you're fucking awesome, dude,

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Speaker 1: Like you're like okay. For example, the previous emailer talked

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Speaker 1: about a guy and no shade to him, but also whatever,

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Speaker 1: like the previous emailer talked about a dude living in

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Speaker 1: his mom's house over the age of thirty and not

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Speaker 1: really giving a fuck about whether or not he's getting

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Speaker 1: out of there, right, Okay, compared to you, bro, you're

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Speaker 1: ten years younger and you're trying actively to save up

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Speaker 1: money to get your own place so you don't have

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Speaker 1: to live with your grandma like you have. And you're

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Speaker 1: doing that, and you're lifting weights, You're trying to improve yourself,

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Speaker 1: like Anthony, Like you just you have the sauce. Anthony,

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Speaker 1: you have the sauce. I can tell from this email

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Speaker 1: that you have the sauce. Fuck do you have the sauce?

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Speaker 1: You have the sauce, Antheony, You're so close. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: you're living with your mom or grandma. You're living with

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Speaker 1: your grandma, and you're like, oh, this kind of sucks

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Speaker 1: living with my grandma. You know, I'm twenty, I'm I

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Speaker 1: have a goal to save up money to get my

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Speaker 1: own place. You're looking at your body, You're like, oh, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I'm too skinny, I'm too fat. Whatever, Okay, I got

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Speaker 1: a goal. I'm gonna go to the gym, try to

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Speaker 1: improve so the way I want. So, like you should

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Speaker 1: look at your own brain in the same way where

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Speaker 1: like you look at your brain and you're like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I have this terrible image of myself. It's not my fault,

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Speaker 1: Like I just fucking the external world just gave me

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Speaker 1: these like difficult circumstances. And I'm not again, I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying you can like cure yourself of the speech impediment,

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Speaker 1: but you just you just gotta shift your narrative around,

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Speaker 1: like you're doing a lot already to like prove to

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Speaker 1: yourself that you can make your own active changes in

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Speaker 1: your life by trying to save money and trying to

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Speaker 1: go to the gym, and so just fucking just keep

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Speaker 1: that train going, dude, Just keep that fucking train going,

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Speaker 1: and eventually, if you just keep trying, you'll find yourself

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Speaker 1: in some version of life that you like. I just

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Speaker 1: believe that. I don't think you should. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you should cry wish him that you're normal. Man, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I get it. It's really painful. I get it. I

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Speaker 1: get it, like the pain of like being like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I wish I didn't have to fucking deal with this

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Speaker 1: like that sucks. Like I get like it, Like it's

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Speaker 1: a form of grief when you're crying like that, I

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Speaker 1: get it. But there're but there's life beyond grief, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like there's a there's a life

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Speaker 1: for you beyond this grief. You just have to like

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Speaker 1: believe that yourself. You know. I don't know if any

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Speaker 1: of that was helpful, but that's my that's my ponder

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Speaker 1: on you, Anthony. Bro. The other guy's like thirty something

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Speaker 1: and he's not even trying. The other guy's thirty something,

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Speaker 1: He's not even trying. That's the thing, Like if you're

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Speaker 1: trying to get out of your your own place and

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Speaker 1: all that, if you're trying to have your own life

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Speaker 1: and you're just getting beat down by the economy in

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Speaker 1: the world, Like I respect to you, but like homie's

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00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 1: not even trying. You're trying, Anthony, just don't get I

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Speaker 1: I fuck man, I hate I hate saying this ship

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Speaker 1: where because I'm not. I'm not like a motivational speaker.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be. I'm not. That's not what

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Speaker 1: I try to be. I don't like that, but I

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Speaker 1: do fucking believe it. I strongly do believe in like

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Speaker 1: just don't give up, you know, like I really do

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Speaker 1: believe that. Fuck do you're too young to give up?

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Speaker 1: Like it's okay if you got to cry wishing that

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Speaker 1: you didn't have the speech impediment, like do that, Like

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Speaker 1: do your grief, dude, But like there's just just just

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Speaker 1: just believe that there is life beyond your grief, dude.

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Speaker 1: So that's that's that's what I got. Uh, props to you, Anthony. Okay,

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Speaker 1: uh oh, what the shit? All right? Um? This is

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Speaker 1: from Christopher. Subject line. Our friend was murdered and the

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00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 1: killer is still out there. Alright, Grek mail has gotten

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00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 1: a little too serious, all right, all right, all right,

356
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Speaker 1: hey Gek. In twenty twenty four, a young man in

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Speaker 1: my town of gay Lord, Michigan. This absolutely better be

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00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: a real email hold on Gaylord, Michigan. Let me look

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00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: this up. All right, it's real, all right. In twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty four, a young man in my town of Gaylord,

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Speaker 1: Michigan was shot and killed in his home. His name

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Speaker 1: is Dean Pagant. The local police have done nothing to

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Speaker 1: find his killer. I know this is a bit out

364
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 1: of your wheelhouse, but I'm hoping you can read this

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00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: on the show. In hopes that someone who knows something

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00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: might come forward and help bring closure to his family.

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Speaker 1: In our community, there have been protests at the courthouse,

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Speaker 1: all sorts of social media posting, but no leads yet.

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00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 1: I know it's a long shot, but we don't want

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00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: to give up. I'll link a news story below so

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00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 1: you know I'm not fucking with you, Okay, sent me

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Speaker 1: a link Unsolved the murder of Dean Pagant, found shot

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Speaker 1: and killed in his home in twenty twenty four. Wow,

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00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 1: holy shit. Umm well yeah, I'm sorry, man, that's fucked up.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I have no idea, all right, yeah, all right.

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Speaker 1: If you have any information about who may have killed Dean,

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00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: contact Michigan State Police at nine eight nine seven three

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Speaker 1: two two seven seven eight. I don't know if I

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00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope. Hey, listen, I'm I'm really sorry

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Speaker 1: to hear that, Christopher. That fucking sucks. I I hope, uh,

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Speaker 1: I hope. I hope this can help in in some way,

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Speaker 1: shape or form. I appreciate you tell me about it,

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00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: and I don't think you're fucking with me. When I

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Speaker 1: saw gay Lord Maryland, I thought of gay Lord Michigan.

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00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: I did think a little bit that you were fucking

386
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Speaker 1: with me. But this, no, this is this is legit. Dude. Wait,

387
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 1: what's going what's going on in Gaylord, Michigan? Wait? It

388
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 1: looks kind of cool? Hold on, sorry, I know this

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00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with the email, but yo, the

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00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 1: Call of the Wild Museum. That looks awesome. Wait? Why

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00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 1: does gay Lord, Michigan look like a sick place? What

392
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: else we go? Okay? Things to do in Gaylord, Michigan. Ah,

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00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: ooh the Gaylord City Elk Park. You can go there

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00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: and you can look at you can observe elks. It's

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00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: kind of exciting. Ooh, look at all these elks. Well,

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00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 1: this is the most quaint town I've ever seen. I've

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00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: ever seen Espen Park. What's the weather like in Gaylord

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00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 1: right now? Weather, Gaylord, Michigan twenty four degrees. That's still

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00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: pretty cold. It's not as cold as New York, I

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00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: don't think. Oh no, it's colder than New York. Never mind, Sorry, okay,

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00:26:50,640 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 1: let's see. Thank you, Christopher. This is from Lucy. Uh.

402
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: My girlfriend thinks I'm cringe and I think she is judgmental. Hey, ghek,

403
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,959
Speaker 1: what's up? I'm writing today because my girlfriend is super judgmental,

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00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: and it's beginning to weigh on me. I pride myself

405
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: on being a very open minded individual, and I try

406
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 1: to be receptive and open to the world around me.

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00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 1: Just because I don't understand or I dislike something doesn't

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00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: mean it's bad, and I just let other people live.

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00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: Who cares, it's their life, not mine. My girlfriend and

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00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:38,239
Speaker 1: I started going out where both girls btw. She's very

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00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: chronically online, and she's constantly sticking her nose up at

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00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: anyone who isn't into the most niche subcultures. Ever, she

413
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: finds all sorts of things to judge people about, and

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00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 1: it's beginning to make me feel like I can't share

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00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: any of my interests or joys with her. I feel

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00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: like I have to hide so much of myself. She

417
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 1: knows she's judgmental, and she owns it. It just sucks

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00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 1: because the core of my values in my being is

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Speaker 1: to have an open mind and heart, and she's very

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00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: much the opposite. I'm very I'm not very online, so

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00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 1: maybe I am cringe and I just don't know it.

422
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: But also, who fucking cares? I don't know. Any advice

423
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: is appreciated. PS. We talked at your live show in Albany.

424
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 1: I'm the one who talked about witchcraft and cursing someone

425
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: by pooping in a jar. I know exactly who you are.

426
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 1: You do not remember the details of that story, but

427
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: I absolutely remember somebody in Albany talking about witchcraft and

428
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: cursing people by pooping in a jar. What is up?

429
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: How's it goinge uh okay? You know. Keeping on the

430
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: theme of not being neutral, Gecko, Lucy, I think your

431
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: girlfriend sucks. I think your girlfriend sucks. I have a

432
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: very clear idea in my mind of what your girlfriend

433
00:28:56,320 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: is like, and I think she sucks. I don't really

434
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: say I don't like saying that. I don't I don't

435
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 1: like saying that about people. But I think your girlfriend

436
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: fucking sucks. Dude. That's the thing, is like, that's what

437
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: being chronically online teaches you to do. We all know this.

438
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: That's what being online teaches you to do because and

439
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna explain, like, the most viral content is content

440
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: that gathers engagement, and the thing that causes people to

441
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: engage the most are things that beckon people to comment

442
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: things like, Oh this person sucks, this person's an idiot,

443
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: Oh this person's cringe. This person's lame, this and that

444
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: and the other thing. So when you're chronically online, you're

445
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: just being exposed to things that were like engineered to

446
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: make you more judgmental. I mean, your girlfriend's a victim

447
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: of of the internet. But yeah, I mean she sounds

448
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: like she sucks if that's your thing. And I remember

449
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 1: meeting you a little bit, and I remember the kind

450
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: of person that you are who talks about witchcraft and

451
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: cursing people by by pooping in jars. So I'm not

452
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: shocked that being open minded is a core value of you. So, yeah,

453
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: you're not gonna be able to share anything with this person.

454
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 1: You're not gonna feel safe being around them. You're if

455
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 1: you're spending a whole lot of time with this person,

456
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 1: she's gonna poison your worldview. You're gonna start feeling like

457
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: it's normal to fucking judge everything and criticize everything. And

458
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: I God, I hate people who are judgmental, like the

459
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 1: way you said, like she knows she's judgmental and she

460
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 1: owns it. I fucking hate when people are like that.

461
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 1: It's really like not something to take a lot of

462
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: pride in, you know what I mean? Just being like

463
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm close minded about the world and I know everything

464
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: and I and I double down on that. That just

465
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: is so lame. Yeah, your girlfriend sucks, man, sho did

466
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: you break up with her? I mean, I'm not gonna

467
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: tell you what to do, but like this is not

468
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 1: gonna last for that long, right, You're just gonna feel

469
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: shitty all the time? Why do you you've I mean, look,

470
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: this is the point of the email, So you didn't

471
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 1: include anything about why you actually like this girl. But

472
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: judging from the email, it I don't know. I don't

473
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: know why do you like this person? Like what's the

474
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: balancing at because you don't seem like you feel very

475
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: safe around her. You don't seem like you can Like

476
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. One of the things that I really

477
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: makes me really fall in love with the person is

478
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: like I like I can tell them anything. I feel

479
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: like I can be whatever version of myself that I

480
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: am around them. I feel like they're just safe to

481
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: talk to and to be around and to you know,

482
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 1: if I'm like I have a litmus test on like

483
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: a date or something like that, Like if I'm in

484
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: New York and there's just like a like I like,

485
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: I like when you. I don't know. When you're walking

486
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 1: around the city, there's like stuff happening always, you know,

487
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: And sometimes there'll be like a building and it's got

488
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: a light on and there's some noise coming through it.

489
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: Not in like a weird alleyway, but in like, oh,

490
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: there's something going on in this place kind of way.

491
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: Like if I'm gonna walk with someone and I go,

492
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: you want to see what's going on in this thing?

493
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 1: If they go the litmus test. This is not a

494
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: practical litmus test. This is a mental litmus test. But

495
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: I want somebody who if we're walking buy something, We'll

496
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: go like, yeah, let's go check it out. Let's see

497
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 1: what that is. Uh. I don't want someone who's like,

498
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: why would we do that? Oh, I don't know. It

499
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: seems like there's a lot of like hipster like weirdo

500
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: people in there. I don't know. This place seems like

501
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: it attracts, like, you know, people who are like trying

502
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: to be cool. You know. I don't want to go

503
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: in there, like, oh my god, that's a nightmare. Holy

504
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: fucking shit, that sounds awful. Anyway, that's my that's my opinion.

505
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: That's my opinion on that look at this I'm not

506
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: very online, so maybe I am cringe and I don't

507
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 1: know it. No, break up with this girl. This sucks, dude.

508
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: She's slowly convincing you that you this girl sucks, and

509
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: she's slowly convincing you that you suck. Get out of

510
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 1: there before you've convinced yourself that you suck. You're a

511
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: fucking witch, and you curse people by pooping in jars.

512
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: You're insane. You're you're, you're, you're, You're so much. You're

513
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: so much, Lucy, Go be everything that you are. Go

514
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: be everything that you are. Go meet another insane person,

515
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: and then both of you can be the most anything

516
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 1: either of you have ever been together. It'll be fucking insane. Yeah,

517
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 1: please bring up with this girl's girl sucks? All right,

518
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 1: let's keep going. All right? This is from ben subject

519
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: line I'm trapped in my own body and I let

520
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 1: opportunities pass by me. Hey Lyle. A few days ago,

521
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: I was on a bus. I was happy, and a

522
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: piece a girl came on and I thought she was

523
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 1: really pretty, but thought nothing of it. So I kept

524
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 1: listening to my podcast and looking out the window. Then

525
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 1: I subconsciously looked back at her and saw her looking

526
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: at me, and I smiled at her. A few bus

527
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:07,240
Speaker 1: stops later, the guy next to me stood up and left,

528
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 1: so she came over and sat next to me. I

529
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: was then suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, and I felt like

530
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 1: I became a statue. My podcast was still on, but

531
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: I couldn't hear it, and I kept looking out the

532
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: window but I couldn't see. Suddenly, I was fixated on

533
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 1: every movement and breath I made. A part of me

534
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 1: wanted to say something to her, and another part of

535
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 1: me tried convincing me that I don't actually want to

536
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 1: talk to her because it would be too uncomfortable for

537
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: me and that it wasn't worth the effort. So I

538
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: said nothing, went home and went on with my day.

539
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 1: But everything I did just felt dull. So now I'm

540
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: just mad at myself that I didn't say anything. I'm

541
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 1: not mad at myself because I didn't get to know her.

542
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 1: I'm mad at myself because I didn't even try. This

543
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: isn't the first time something like that has happened, and

544
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: I know it won't be the last, and I hate

545
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 1: myself for it. Whoa brother? Okay, hold on, And every

546
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,439
Speaker 1: time I tell myself things will be different. I feel

547
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: like I can't change. But other than that, everything in

548
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,839
Speaker 1: my life is going well. I'm more disciplined and hard

549
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 1: working than I ever thought I could be. Everything is

550
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: getting better and better by day, which I didn't even

551
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 1: think was possible. And I've become someone I would have

552
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 1: looked up to as a kid, and I'm proud of myself. Also,

553
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: if it gets on the podcast, and even if it doesn't,

554
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,399
Speaker 1: and I see her again, I will try to say

555
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 1: hi or something. Also, sorry if this was hard to read.

556
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 1: English is my second language and I can barely speak

557
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: or write in my main language. Okay, I have a

558
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: lot of thoughts. One is that stop hating your just

559
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: stop hating yourself. By the way, Ben, I've I've been

560
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 1: in this situation before. I've been in this situation before

561
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,719
Speaker 1: a lot where like I was at a party, or

562
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 1: I was at a cafe, or I was at a

563
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck thing, and I saw someone that I

564
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to, and I convinced myself a billion

565
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: reasons to not talk to them, because it why. I

566
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 1: convinced myself reasons not just reasons not to talk to them.

567
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: But no, Ben, I've been in this situation a billion times.

568
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 1: I've convinced myself that I don't even want to because

569
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with this uncomfortable thing of

570
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: like I want to do something, but I'm too nervous too.

571
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:27,399
Speaker 1: And you know, shout out my friend David Feinberg. He

572
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: is a comedian. He opened for me when I was

573
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 1: in Europe a year ago. If you went to any

574
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: of those shows you saw on so one time. So

575
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: Feinberg was opening for me in Berlin and he went

576
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: to the venue a little early and it was closed,

577
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: and he was gonna like ring the doorbell, but he

578
00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 1: got kind of nervous and then he just like like

579
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:02,880
Speaker 1: walked away and he was like, I don't know if

580
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: I should ring the doorbell. I don't know if they're

581
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: gonna get like all weird, like I'm here before you

582
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: know you are, and all this stuff like that. And

583
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 1: then he's walking and then he goes, wait, what, who

584
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 1: gives a fucking shit? Who cares? I'm fucking I'm gonna

585
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 1: go and ring the doorbell. And then he uh, he

586
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 1: goes and he rings the doorbell. They let him in. U.

587
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: I tell that's I tell that little thing because Uh,

588
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:28,959
Speaker 1: he and I have, like he told me that story,

589
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 1: and so now there's a thing. So now we refer

590
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 1: to it as ringing the doorbell. You know, like you

591
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: have a thing that you kind of feel like you

592
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: want to do, but you're kind of like, I don't

593
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,919
Speaker 1: know if I should doing this is one of is weird,

594
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: it's and it's like just ring the fucking doorbell. Just

595
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 1: ring the doorbell. Sometimes you just got to ring the doorbell. Uh.

596
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: I've had many a moment where I've wanted to ring

597
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: the doorbell and I convinced myself, Oh, I'll do it

598
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 1: next time. Oh, I'll do it when I feel more

599
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 1: confident I'll do in this situation. That's just and then

600
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, you kind of beat you beat yourself

601
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 1: up about it. So don't don't beat yourself up about it,

602
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 1: but you know, try to live by the modo to

603
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: always ring the doorbell. And by the way, let me

604
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: here's another also, like especially like on the subject of

605
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: like talking to like a girl that you think is

606
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: pretty in public, what you should do is like if

607
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 1: you're in a situation like that, right, like this girl,

608
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,919
Speaker 1: like I don't know if she smiled at you and

609
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: she was looking at you and you smiled at her.

610
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: Here's what you do. Okay, this is very classic. If

611
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: there is something about her that that you can like

612
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 1: that's not like, you know, don't be like, hey, you're

613
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 1: pretty like if she's like reading a book or something

614
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: on her shirt looks cool, like, just ask a question

615
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 1: about like you can just ask like a question about it,

616
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: and then you can tell immediately from like body language,

617
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 1: from how she responds whatever, if she is open to talking,

618
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: and if she is, maybe ask another question. And then

619
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 1: if she starts asking you questions back, you're you're in

620
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: the clear. You can keep having a conversation. If you

621
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 1: notice that she is not asking you questions back, then

622
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: you'd be like alright, and you put your headphones back on,

623
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: and then you'd be like, all right, I, you know,

624
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: try to interact with another human being. You know I

625
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 1: was respectful, was you know, I gave it a shot.

626
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,839
Speaker 1: Could have worked out, but you know, you'll feel good.

627
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: You'll feel like, Okay, I attempted to connect with this

628
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:59,479
Speaker 1: person that I wanted to connect with and it didn't

629
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: work out, But you feel good. You put your you're

630
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: putting in the reps of training yourself to become the

631
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: kind of person that rings the doorbell. So you know,

632
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,280
Speaker 1: I've I've been in plenty of situations like that. I'm I,

633
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: I You're not. It's not something to be ashamed of.

634
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: But you know, just try to next next time, just like,

635
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: don't cause you're you're getting like you're putting too much

636
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: pressure on it, you know, like just say something, Just

637
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 1: say oh whatever, thing. Forget about the beginning. People people

638
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,360
Speaker 1: fixate too much about how to begin conversations. But it

639
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,359
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. The first thing you say to a person

640
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,959
Speaker 1: that you want to talk to doesn't matter. It's the

641
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 1: middle of the conversation that's the easy part. The beginnings

642
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: and endings of conversations are really hard. Like I don't

643
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 1: know how to start talking to someone, and then there's

644
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 1: a lot of times I don't know how to stop

645
00:41:55,840 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: talking to someone after I have been talking to them already,

646
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 1: you know. Oh. Sometimes I'll be like, uh, talking to

647
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 1: someone in line at something, and they'll be saying stuff

648
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: to me and I'll be chatting with them and I'm like,

649
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: when should I stop talking? Do you get what I'm saying?

650
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 1: Like this guy was behind me in line the other day,

651
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 1: Hershey's chocolate thing bag and he started talking to me

652
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, where'd you get? What'd you

653
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 1: get at Hershey's World? And he was like, oh, I

654
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: got a shirt. I was like, oh cool. Then he

655
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 1: started talking and then I was just like when do what?

656
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: Whin is? We still have to stand next to each

657
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 1: other for the duration of the time that we're in

658
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 1: line for this thing? So do we talk? Are we

659
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: supposed to talk the entire time? Are we supposed to? Like?

660
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 1: What's what's appropriate? I was on the subway a guy.

661
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: I was playing my Nintendo switch. This guy looks at me,

662
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 1: I can tell you once, I can tell you. He's

663
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 1: like looking at my Nintendo and I'm like, all right,

664
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: I can tell you once to talk to me. So

665
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 1: I took my headphones off and he immediately goes, is

666
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 1: that what is that? And I'm like it's the Nintendo

667
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:07,760
Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, cool man, I used to play

668
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 1: fucking Space Invaders and stuff. And I'm like, oh cool man,

669
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: Like do you what else? Do you play? Assassin's Creed?

670
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I love Assassins Creed. Yeah, cool man.

671
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,879
Speaker 1: You know we're talking. Immediately in my head, I'm like, fuck,

672
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: how long, nice guy, but immediately in my head, I'm like,

673
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: when does this When am I supposed to end this conversation?

674
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: Thank god he was that he was the next stop,

675
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: because if he was multiple stops, I would have just

676
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 1: felt awkward just standing next to him. Anyway, this I

677
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: don't know why I got on this tangent, but yeah,

678
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: next time ring the doorbell, just ask a question, make

679
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: a statement, and then like, be perceptive as to whether

680
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: or not the person wants to continue talking to you,

681
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 1: and you know, try to build that uh confidence of

682
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 1: of of to try to build confidence of a your

683
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 1: own ability to be perceptive and tell whether or not

684
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 1: somebody actually wants to talk to you, and then be

685
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 1: your ability to ring the doorbell. Good luck, Benjamin, all right,

686
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 1: let's keep going here. This one is fighting a sickness. Sickness,

687
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: fighting a sickness. Hey, Lyle, I love your show. I've

688
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 1: been listening to it on and off for a couple

689
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 1: months now. I have a crazy busy life between work

690
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: volunteering in my community. I've been married for thirteen years

691
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: and now my wife and I carry on a relationship

692
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: with another married couple in a sort of polyamorous Shenanagan.

693
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 1: I've been having a hard time juggling the polyamory stuff.

694
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 1: The other married couple are quirky, much like my wife

695
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: and I, so there's always some sort of dispute. I'm

696
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:03,439
Speaker 1: the only only man in the relationship, which is complicated.

697
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 1: It usually means that I don't hang out with them

698
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 1: as much as they hang on in general, because there's

699
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 1: a lot of anger and frustration towards men from someone

700
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: in the group. Wait so you're wait a minute, a minute,

701
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 1: you're telling me. You're telling me that you're in a

702
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: polyamorous swinger's relationship with a lesbian couple. That's what you're

703
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 1: telling me right now. Okay, Oh okay, okay, oh okay.

704
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 1: I'm the only man in the relationship, which is complicated.

705
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: It means I don't hang out with them as much

706
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 1: as they hang out in general, because there's a lot

707
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: of anger and frustration towards men from someone in the group.

708
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 1: My wife does her best to keep everyone together and

709
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:04,480
Speaker 1: happy and stable, and sometimes I feel like the person

710
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 1: who is fucking things up for everyone. At the end

711
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 1: of the day, the highs are super high and the

712
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 1: lows can get pretty low. When we are visiting I'm

713
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: a kid in a candy store. Well, the even the

714
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: lead up is fun because he usually involves showers and

715
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 1: just sort of getting into the headspace, making sure devices

716
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,799
Speaker 1: are charged, drinks are topped off, that sort of thing.

717
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: Are you just here to brag? Emailer? The lows get

718
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: pretty low because everyone has trauma and bullshit from their

719
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 1: past that makes them unique. Okay. One is a war veteran,

720
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: another is an assault survivor, and another one has BPD. Okay,

721
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:52,720
Speaker 1: I'm commonly referred to as a berry picker by everyone

722
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: in the group because I'm not a typically masculine man.

723
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 1: I have small hands. I do most of the cleaning

724
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: and chores in my house because my wife works long

725
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: hours and I don't build cars or fix things. I

726
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: work on computers and I collect and build miniatures. One

727
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 1: of my girlfriends says that the thing she likes the

728
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: most about me is that I am a barry picker,

729
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: not a macho man. It feels a little insulting, but

730
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 1: I usually get over it pretty fast, considering I have

731
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:28,879
Speaker 1: the love of all these different people in my life.

732
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 1: Polyamory is really not something I've heard you talk about

733
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: much on your show, So if you ever want to

734
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:40,479
Speaker 1: have a chat about it, look me up. Just call

735
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: me Barry Picker. This guy famous Barry Picker. Okay, there's

736
00:47:53,320 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: a real there's Barry Picker Picker and Allburger CPAs. Okay, Scott,

737
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: I don't understand what he means by pick him up.

738
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: There's nothing that comes up when I search Barry Picker.

739
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 1: But anyway, but also, we've talked about polyamory all the time. Brother,

740
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 1: you've been listening for two months. All right, we've been,

741
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: you know, we've been. I'm sure that this podcast has

742
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 1: uh spawned some gecko polycule stuff or whatever. We've covered

743
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: polyamory a ton on here. What do I have to

744
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 1: say about this? Brother? Dude? You have three girlfriends? You

745
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: have three girlfriends. Man, Dude, if I have three girlfriends,

746
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: they can say whatever they want to me. You have

747
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 1: three girlfriends. Man, Let a few things slide, my brother,

748
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 1: Let a couple things slide, you know, let him call

749
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 1: you a Barry Picker. Let it slide, my friend. You

750
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: have three girls? Friend, what do you what do you want?

751
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 1: You want to have three girlfriends that are also nice

752
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: to you all the time? That come on? How much

753
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 1: can you possibly need out? Of life. If you have

754
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 1: three girlfriends, also they hang out without you. Let your

755
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: three girlfriends hang out without you. Please let your three

756
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 1: girlfriends five three girlfriends. I'm like, go, here's a thousand dollars.

757
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: Go do what like, dude, you let them do their thing?

758
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: You know what are you doing? Barry Picker, Barry Picker,

759
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 1: Just enjoy your life, man, You're don't question this. You

760
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 1: have three girlfriends, man, don't question it. Just just live

761
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 1: your life. Brother. You know, my wife does her best

762
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: to keep everyone together. Sometimes I feel like the person

763
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 1: who is fucking things up for everybody. You're not fucking

764
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 1: anything up, Barry, You're living your life. Just you know

765
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: your thing, man, Just just enjoy Barry, Barry, you're somehow

766
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:19,919
Speaker 1: you have three You're somehow, Barry. You strike me as

767
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:24,919
Speaker 1: a neurotic man. You strike me as a very neurotic man.

768
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 1: You have found a way to make having three girlfriends

769
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 1: like something to be anxious about. And I get it.

770
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 1: I get it. I have a neurotic brain too. I'd

771
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 1: probably do the same exact thing. I'd probably find a

772
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 1: way to be anxious about it. But sometimes you gotta

773
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:50,359
Speaker 1: just like just just let life be good to you. Man,

774
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 1: Let life be good to you, Barry. Let life be

775
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: good to you. You do most of the cleaning and

776
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 1: chores in your house. You work on computers, you collect miniatures.

777
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,760
Speaker 1: You've been a nice boy. You've been a nice man, Barry.

778
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 1: You've been a nice man in your life. You've tried

779
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: to be helpful. Okay. You've tried to be a good guy.

780
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 1: You've tried to supported your wife okay, and I have

781
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 1: three girlfriends. So just just enjoy it, don't don't don't

782
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: question it too much, man, Just enjoy your life. Why

783
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,440
Speaker 1: did you say fighting a sickness? Why is that the

784
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: name of the email? Okay, I'm gonna let I'm gonna

785
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you go, all right. This is from

786
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: uh Macie, Hey gek. I have a stress habit of

787
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 1: picking my eyelashes. When I am stressed, I pinch my

788
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 1: eyelashes with my fingers and pull them off. I've been

789
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: doing this for as long as I can recall, even

790
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: as a kid. I'm twenty five now and still do

791
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 1: it today. Something about the tension and release is satisfying.

792
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 1: I've desensitized my eyelids to the pain, so now it

793
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:16,359
Speaker 1: feels good. I've been so stressed sometimes that I pull

794
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: off every eyelash on both eyes. It makes me look uglier,

795
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 1: and I'm already pretty chopped. I don't know why this

796
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: is what I do when I'm stressed. I've been doing

797
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 1: it for years, and in months, my eyelashes grow back

798
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 1: to be picked again. I don't know if it'll ever stop,

799
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 1: even though my mom scolded me many times and expressed

800
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 1: her disgust. I guess it is gross, but it feels good.

801
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 1: And then I look in the mirror and I always

802
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: feel disappointed with my lack of self control. Life makes

803
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 1: us do weird things. We are weird things. Thanks for

804
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 1: your time, Macy, dude, I do this. Listen, Macy bummer.

805
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,479
Speaker 1: I empathize with you because it's a bummer that your

806
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 1: thing happens to be on a very noticeable part of

807
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 1: your body. I bite the fucking shit out of my

808
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 1: my fingernails. I'm always picking up my toenails. I'll like

809
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: pluck my own beard hairs. Luckily I have enough of them,

810
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 1: like you can't really tell. But sometimes my beard just

811
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: gets patchy because I'm plucking all that shit. I like,

812
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 1: one of my mustache gets really long. I'll fucking take

813
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 1: one of my mustache hairs and I'll pluck it out

814
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:28,439
Speaker 1: with my own like teeth, you know what I mean.

815
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,839
Speaker 1: So I'm with you. You just had the bad luck

816
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 1: of having it be like your eyelashes, because your eyelashes

817
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 1: are like kind of front and center. You don't have

818
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 1: a lot of them compared to like a beard hair,

819
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: and you know you can't just like put them off

820
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 1: to the side like can like your fingernails. So yeah, bro,

821
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 1: I've been doing this shit since I was a little kid,

822
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:55,399
Speaker 1: and I'm twenty eight now, and it's it's uh, it's

823
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 1: not it's I don't. I think I'm gonna probably end

824
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 1: up doing this forever. You are correct me. I see,

825
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,760
Speaker 1: life makes us do weird things, and we are weird things.

826
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 1: I can't help you any further than that. All right,

827
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: This is from Google. Your Google account was successfully recovered.

828
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 1: If you suspect you were locked out of your account

829
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: because of changes made by somebody else, you should review

830
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:24,399
Speaker 1: and protect your account. Okay, thanks Google. This is from Wacabellum.

831
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 1: Subject line Marty Supreme fucking sucks. Hi lizard. I'm listening

832
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 1: to your newest episode right now, and you mentioned how

833
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,840
Speaker 1: much you liked the movie Marty Supreme. I feel strongly

834
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 1: about how much I dislike this movie. That shit sucked.

835
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 1: Everyone has been hyping it up to be this generational

836
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,800
Speaker 1: work of art, but it's not. Bro I don't consider

837
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 1: myself a movie snob at all. Okay, this is gonna

838
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 1: be really boring for anyone who hasn't seen this movie.

839
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 1: But I fucking loved this movie, and so I'm gonna

840
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:56,280
Speaker 1: keep uh, I'm gonna keep going. Okay, I don't consider

841
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: myself a movie snop at all. I don't watch a

842
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 1: lot of TV in general, but but I've always loved

843
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 1: movies that portray character development and strong emotional themes. The

844
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 1: movie Hustle is my favorite movie ever. Go watch it

845
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 1: if you haven't. It's fucking amazing. Anyway, in the movie,

846
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: Marty spends the entire movie. Okay, there might be some

847
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: spoilers in this movie. I'm not reading this year, so

848
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:20,440
Speaker 1: if yeah, if you haven't seen Marty Supreme, skip ahead

849
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 1: a little bit. Anyway, in the movie, Marty spends the

850
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 1: entire movie being a horrible person to his taxi driver friend,

851
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: to the people who invested in him, and basically everyone

852
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 1: in general. But mostly the mother of his child. He

853
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 1: did not give a fuck about her and treated her

854
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 1: like shit the entire movie. And he spent every ounce

855
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 1: of his life, time and money to make it to

856
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 1: Japan and battle someone in ping pong and had nothing

857
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 1: to show for it, Not to mention, he beat the

858
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 1: Japanese guy in a fucking exhibition game, not even a

859
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 1: real tournament. Oh my god, this person, fucking this person

860
00:55:56,719 --> 00:56:03,799
Speaker 1: did not fuck dude, wakaballa, wacabellum. I'm sorry, but you

861
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 1: just did not understand this movie at all. I know

862
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 1: this conversation is gonna gonna be interesting to the ninety

863
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 1: percent of I don't know how many people listening to

864
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 1: this podcast watch this movie. But dude, a hold, I

865
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 1: let me. I haven't even finished reading your email, but

866
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 1: you just I just can't already tell you did not

867
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 1: understand this movie. Okay. He burned all his bridges, lost

868
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 1: every dollar he had, ruined the most important relationships he

869
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 1: had to win a ping pong game that did absolutely

870
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 1: nothing for him and didn't even mean anything in the

871
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,800
Speaker 1: actual world of competitive table tennis. And then the movie

872
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 1: suddenly ends when he goes home to see his newborn child.

873
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,960
Speaker 1: He didn't mention his baby mama was shot while in childbirth,

874
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 1: and he dipped to fly across the world to play

875
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 1: Ping pong, and he cries when he sees his kid.

876
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,439
Speaker 1: What kind of ending is that he realized what every

877
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 1: normal human who has empathy feels. That movie sucked ass,

878
00:56:52,640 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 1: since here the walka okay, First of all, the movie,

879
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: the movie was extremely compelling. The reason why it was

880
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 1: such a good movie is there's a lot of reasons

881
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:08,319
Speaker 1: why it was such a good movie, but it was

882
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 1: very compelling. Like you just keep like things just keep happening.

883
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: Sometimes you see a movie that's like, Okay, this happens,

884
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 1: and then this happens, and this happens, and you're like,

885
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 1: why the fuck am I watching this thing? This movie

886
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: like something is always happening. There is constant motion and

887
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 1: and you're watching this guy fuck up his life and

888
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: fuck with everybody, and like whether or not, like the

889
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 1: moral judgment of the character is not like, like I

890
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 1: don't need every I don't need the main character of

891
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 1: the movie to like be such a good guy. Like

892
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to watch a movie about like a

893
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 1: guy being really nice to everyone. You know, that's not

894
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 1: really compelling. You know, the whole everything you're saying is

895
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 1: the whole point, and everything that's everything you're saying is

896
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 1: the whole point. Like the fact that he beats the

897
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 1: guy in the exhibition game and not a real tournament,

898
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 1: and he's so happy about it, and you're like, what

899
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 1: the fuck, Like that's the point, that's the character development.

900
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 1: All he wanted was to feel was to just prove

901
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 1: to himself that he was the best. Dude. That was

902
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 1: my favorite part of the movie. All he wanted was

903
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: to prove to himself that he was so good at

904
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 1: the game. And then he and then and then after

905
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 1: he beats the Japanese guy, every he just sheds everything.

906
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: It's this weird thing. He's like an asshole, insane person

907
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 1: in pursuit of this one goal. And then and the

908
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 1: goal isn't even to win a tournament. The goal is

909
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 1: just to prove to everyone that he's the best. And

910
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 1: then he does it, and then he immediately sheds everything.

911
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,760
Speaker 1: It's this weird thing to watch, and dude, the my

912
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 1: favorite part of the movie is he beats the guy

913
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 1: in the ping pong. Immediately he goes up to him,

914
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 1: gives him a huge hug and goes and he says,

915
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 1: I have so much respect for you. You're so good

916
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 1: at the game, and I hope you win the tournament.

917
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 1: He just he just starts to be filled with all

918
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 1: this love that he wouldn't like let himself feel until

919
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 1: he accomplished this goal. And he fucked up a bunch

920
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 1: of shit in the uh on his way there. And

921
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 1: I don't think it's like I don't like. That's the

922
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 1: whole that's all point of the movie. That's the whole

923
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: point of like this shit and uncut Gems is like

924
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 1: you're just watching a person's descent. They decided to give

925
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 1: him a happy ending, which I thought was nice. I

926
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: thought it was nice they decided to give him a

927
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 1: happy ending. If they continue, if that movie, if you

928
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 1: follow that movie to where the narrative would logically lead afterwards,

929
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:47,280
Speaker 1: the ending is probably not so happy because all the

930
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 1: people he fucked up and fucked over would come back

931
00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 1: for him and he probably wouldn't live that happy life.

932
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 1: But in ending it right there, we gave you kind

933
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:59,680
Speaker 1: of a feel good thing and there was strong character

934
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 1: develop mens. That's the whole point is he's just is

935
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 1: you just see him like he really kind of doesn't. Actually,

936
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 1: you're right, he really doesn't develop or changes character at

937
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,440
Speaker 1: all until he wins. And then you see him win

938
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 1: and then he like just switches up immediately. It's interesting

939
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 1: to see. I really liked that movie because he kept

940
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 1: getting denied, you know what I mean, like like in

941
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 1: the in those in those asshole I hate them Jerry

942
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 1: Bruckheimer fucking movies like the F one movie. I fucking

943
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 1: hated the F one movie. I hated it so much

944
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:42,320
Speaker 1: because in it, it's like this is I don't know

945
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 1: if this is not interesting to anyway. All Right, I'm

946
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 1: gonna go on this rant, and I'm I'll read a

947
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 1: couple more emails. But okay, in the F one movie,

948
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,160
Speaker 1: h Brad Pitt, he's these washed up did I already

949
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 1: go on this rant? F one movie Brad Pitt, washed

950
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 1: up fucking race car driver joins the F one team,

951
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 1: thinks he's the best. It's like same deal, like thinks

952
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: he's awesome, thinks he's awesome, fucking has a huge ego whatever,

953
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 1: and then what happens to him? He wins the tournament

954
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 1: because like everything, like he wins the tournament because he's

955
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 1: of course he does and like everything that he thinks

956
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 1: should happen to him just happens to him. But Marty's

957
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 1: Supreme is different because he just keeps getting denied. He

958
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:31,440
Speaker 1: thinks he's gonna win, he doesn't. He thinks that because

959
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: he flew to Japan, they'll let him in the tournament,

960
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 1: and he doesn't. And he just keeps getting fucking like denied,

961
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:41,760
Speaker 1: and he keeps getting like things like don't go well

962
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 1: for him the entire movie, and he keeps getting denied

963
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 1: and he doesn't win in the end. He that's the

964
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 1: point is he doesn't even fucking win. He wins this

965
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 1: shitty exhibition and then he like settles for a life

966
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 1: that actually matters, where he like raises this kid and

967
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 1: accepts responsibility at the end. And it was kind of beautiful.

968
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 1: It was very emotional. Whether or not you think he's

969
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:11,040
Speaker 1: deserving of that after the way he acted throughout the

970
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 1: movie is a point of debate, for sure, but it

971
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,840
Speaker 1: was a good movie anyway. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for

972
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 1: going on that rant. Uh, Okay, let's for a couple more.

973
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:28,400
Speaker 1: This is from Phoenix. Hell, this is from Phoenix. My

974
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 1: grandma is a Christian Nazi and we are playing a

975
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 1: hot potato. Okay, Hi Gecko. My name is Phoenix and

976
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:41,920
Speaker 1: I've been a listener since twenty twenty three. Your show

977
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 1: helps my days go by faster and often provides a

978
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:48,680
Speaker 1: much needed perspective on my own life. I am thirty five,

979
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 1: I work full time, and I'm currently pursuing a college

980
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 1: degree in business. My only daughter will be graduating in

981
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 1: twenty twenty seven and going to college soon after. I

982
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:02,720
Speaker 1: couldn't be more proud. Life is going well. However, I'm

983
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:06,439
Speaker 1: writing because I'm facing a difficult family situation and could

984
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:11,800
Speaker 1: use some advice. My eighty six year old grandmother needs

985
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 1: home care soon, but she's currently embroiled in a volatile

986
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 1: situation with her neighbors and landlord. There is a dispute

987
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: over property lines and water access. Recently, a neighbor has

988
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 1: been turning off her water Maine, forcing her to call

989
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 1: a plumber. While I want to help, my grandmother is

990
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 1: extremely combative, judgmental, and mentally abusive. She has a history

991
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:40,120
Speaker 1: of driving family away with emotional manipulation and religious control.

992
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 1: There has even been a time when someone a neighbor,

993
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:47,320
Speaker 1: chased her with a stick to inflict harm upon her.

994
01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 1: What the fuck that neighbor has since moved, but she

995
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:54,160
Speaker 1: still finds a way to make conflict where she lives always.

996
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 1: She has lived in a mobile park home for forty years.

997
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 1: My mother and other relatives are unwilling to take her

998
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:04,439
Speaker 1: in due to her abuse. I am a single mother

999
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 1: to a sixteen year old, and I have worked incredibly

1000
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 1: hard to achieve stability and peace after experiencing homelessness in

1001
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two due to a living situation where we

1002
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 1: lost our place. Even though it was for a short

1003
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 1: period of time, it was still hard to get on

1004
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:22,800
Speaker 1: my feet. My lifestyle is the opposite of my upbringing,

1005
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 1: with her supporting the LGBTQ community, practicing astrology, and my

1006
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:33,600
Speaker 1: general beliefs directly conflict with her rigid views. I feel

1007
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:36,720
Speaker 1: immense pressure from my family to step up and plan

1008
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:40,919
Speaker 1: because we are traditional, but I am terrified of sacrificing

1009
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,960
Speaker 1: the peaceful life I've built to care for someone abusive

1010
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 1: who needs help. All I can think about is how

1011
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,439
Speaker 1: bitter I may become and end up like her. Wait,

1012
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 1: there's more hold on. Okay, your mom and everyone else

1013
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 1: is unwilling to take her in, So how the fuck

1014
01:04:57,080 --> 01:04:58,920
Speaker 1: do you have to take her in? I feel pressure

1015
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 1: from my family to step up. Wait, I don't understand

1016
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:07,760
Speaker 1: you all. I don't understand your whole family won't take

1017
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:13,480
Speaker 1: her in. Your whole family won't take her in, but

1018
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:19,120
Speaker 1: they're pressuring you too. That's fucking stupid. I feel like

1019
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:22,439
Speaker 1: a shithead for not wanting the responsibility. No, you're not yet.

1020
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:24,680
Speaker 1: I wonder this may be a sign from the universe

1021
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:29,400
Speaker 1: to show mercy. Okay, everyone else has reached their limit

1022
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:31,160
Speaker 1: with her, and now I feel the pressure is on me.

1023
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 1: I was asked by my aunt to look into taking

1024
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 1: her in or speak to my brother and mother about

1025
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 1: how we can move her out. Why the what? But

1026
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:44,320
Speaker 1: what the why the fuck? What's your aunt fucking doing?

1027
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,120
Speaker 1: You have your own fucking life. Why is your aunt

1028
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:51,320
Speaker 1: bothering you about this? We have tried herrity in the past,

1029
01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,360
Speaker 1: but she always backs out due to us not submitting

1030
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 1: to her ways. Well, then, fucking she's eighty six years old.

1031
01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 1: My aunt lives out of the country and cannot cross

1032
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 1: over to come live with their either. Okay, so what

1033
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 1: you're saying is your aunt has a life. Wait, my

1034
01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 1: aunt lives out of the county, not even the country,

1035
01:06:07,760 --> 01:06:12,280
Speaker 1: the county. Okay, all right, You're okay, I'm getting worked up.

1036
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:14,280
Speaker 1: I'm getting too worked up about this. Myn lives out

1037
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:16,200
Speaker 1: of the county and cannot cross over to come over

1038
01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:17,760
Speaker 1: with her either. What do I do? How do I

1039
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:19,480
Speaker 1: balance the guilt of not helping with the need to

1040
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 1: protect my own peace and my daughter's environment? What should

1041
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 1: I do? Thanks for reading? Okay, I have multiple things

1042
01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:28,120
Speaker 1: to say. First of all, dude, I'm sorry. Your family's insane.

1043
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:31,360
Speaker 1: Why the fuck is your aunt? Why is everyone telling

1044
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:32,960
Speaker 1: you to do a thing and being like, oh, well

1045
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:36,280
Speaker 1: I can't. It's like, bruh, You're thirty five years old,

1046
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:38,840
Speaker 1: you work full time, you're pursuing a college degree, You're

1047
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 1: raising a fucking daughter after being homeless, Like, you have

1048
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:46,640
Speaker 1: your own fucking life, and your aunt is like, oh well,

1049
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 1: I can't take care of her because I have my

1050
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:52,520
Speaker 1: own life. But like you know, I'm not gonna inconvenience

1051
01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:54,920
Speaker 1: myself in my life. I'll make you inconvenience yourself in

1052
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:56,360
Speaker 1: your life, and I'll make it feel bad about it.

1053
01:06:56,360 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 1: That's fucking stupid. That's fucking stupid. At this point, I

1054
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 1: feel fuck dude, your grandma's doomed. She had eighty six

1055
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:18,200
Speaker 1: years to figure it out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoenix.

1056
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You probably love her, she's your family. I'm sorry, dude,

1057
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:23,240
Speaker 1: but she had so much time to figure it out.

1058
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about eighty six year olds. Man,

1059
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,919
Speaker 1: whenever I see an eighty six year old like being

1060
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:31,080
Speaker 1: an ass, Like when I see an eighty six year

1061
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,400
Speaker 1: old like like, Okay, if you're at the fucking grocery

1062
01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 1: store and you see an eighty six year old woman

1063
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:38,920
Speaker 1: and she's like yelling at the grocery store worker about

1064
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:44,120
Speaker 1: like a coupon, It's like, Bro, you're about to be

1065
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:51,480
Speaker 1: in oblivion for eternity. You're about to be an oblivion

1066
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:56,640
Speaker 1: for eternity any day now. I'm gonna say it again.

1067
01:07:57,040 --> 01:08:02,920
Speaker 1: You're about to be an oblivion for eternity. Not just

1068
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:06,640
Speaker 1: in the future, You're about to be an oblivion for

1069
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:14,960
Speaker 1: eternity any day. Now. What the fuck do you care

1070
01:08:15,240 --> 01:08:20,200
Speaker 1: about this fucking coupon or this fucking who's gay? Or

1071
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:23,639
Speaker 1: what the fuck do you fucking get You're it's just insane.

1072
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 1: It's like the most insane thing to me, these like

1073
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:32,840
Speaker 1: abusive old people. Dude, Phoenix, your grandma she had time

1074
01:08:32,880 --> 01:08:34,880
Speaker 1: to figure it out. She had time to figure it

1075
01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:38,680
Speaker 1: out and listen. God bless seriously, God bless her. I

1076
01:08:38,840 --> 01:08:41,160
Speaker 1: feel bad for her. I really do. I have a

1077
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 1: deterministic belief in life a little bit. I'm like half

1078
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:50,080
Speaker 1: agency half. I'm a half agency half deterministic, and the

1079
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:52,519
Speaker 1: deterministic half is like, I don't know what the fuck

1080
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:55,240
Speaker 1: it is about the way that your grandmother lived. She

1081
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,840
Speaker 1: she when she was thirty five. The world was much

1082
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 1: different than when you were thirty five. I don't know

1083
01:09:00,520 --> 01:09:03,400
Speaker 1: what happened in her childhood when she was exposed to

1084
01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:06,720
Speaker 1: you have the internet, you like. There's a lot of

1085
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:10,599
Speaker 1: reasons why one could say that she thinks an accent

1086
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:14,920
Speaker 1: does and whatever the fuck she is, and you are

1087
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:21,680
Speaker 1: who you are, and that sucks for her. But this

1088
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:24,280
Speaker 1: is not your problem. This is not your problem, Phoenix.

1089
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:29,680
Speaker 1: This is not a problem. You're a single mom to

1090
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:35,640
Speaker 1: seventeen year old who needs you, and you have a

1091
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 1: finite amount of time, energy, and money and research. You

1092
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 1: just have a finite amount of your self and you're

1093
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:49,840
Speaker 1: giving it to work, You're giving it to school, you're

1094
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:52,680
Speaker 1: giving miss your fucking daughter, You're giving it to yourself.

1095
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:57,640
Speaker 1: Don't feel guilty. You're doing plenty. You're doing plenty to

1096
01:09:58,760 --> 01:10:04,120
Speaker 1: extend your time and energy and humanhood outside of yourself

1097
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:08,080
Speaker 1: by raising a daughter and putting her through college. That's

1098
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:12,559
Speaker 1: you're giving a lot of your personhood to externally by

1099
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:15,360
Speaker 1: doing that. Uh. And also by the way, you're even

1100
01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:18,000
Speaker 1: giving into your even you're a you're also a person,

1101
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:22,759
Speaker 1: so you deserve to give to yourself too. It sucks

1102
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:26,479
Speaker 1: that your grandma is in this situation, and that all

1103
01:10:26,520 --> 01:10:29,240
Speaker 1: of your and your family stop letting your fucking family

1104
01:10:29,280 --> 01:10:33,320
Speaker 1: make you feel guilty when they won't because everyone's gonna

1105
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:35,320
Speaker 1: have a reason why they don't want to fuck up

1106
01:10:35,439 --> 01:10:39,200
Speaker 1: their life to take care of your grandma. And and

1107
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:45,680
Speaker 1: it's obnoxious of them to demand that you fuck up

1108
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:49,759
Speaker 1: your life because they think that their life is less worthy,

1109
01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:55,000
Speaker 1: Like she can't cross county lines, Like what the fuck?

1110
01:10:56,120 --> 01:11:02,439
Speaker 1: That's bullshit. So so please, Phoenix, if you listen to this,

1111
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:08,280
Speaker 1: I implore you to continue to live your own life

1112
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:11,000
Speaker 1: to the fullest and keep all of you and and

1113
01:11:11,120 --> 01:11:14,240
Speaker 1: like I like I'm telling like, relieve yourself of the guilt.

1114
01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:17,360
Speaker 1: Relieve you have nothing to be fucking guilty about. You

1115
01:11:17,479 --> 01:11:20,800
Speaker 1: raised a fucking kid. You're what You're contributing to society.

1116
01:11:21,240 --> 01:11:23,560
Speaker 1: You're being like a normal human. Like you say, you

1117
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:30,640
Speaker 1: have nothing to feel guilty about, Phoenix, so like like

1118
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:33,759
Speaker 1: to stop feeling stop feeling guilty, because that takes energy

1119
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:36,599
Speaker 1: that you even get your your grandma's not even like

1120
01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:40,040
Speaker 1: in the same fucking room as you, Your family's not

1121
01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:42,560
Speaker 1: in the same room as you, and they're already extracting

1122
01:11:42,600 --> 01:11:46,439
Speaker 1: your energy and time. Because if guilt takes a lot

1123
01:11:46,439 --> 01:11:48,479
Speaker 1: of energy and time, and this is this is not

1124
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:52,240
Speaker 1: this is not real guilt. This is just like some

1125
01:11:52,360 --> 01:11:57,400
Speaker 1: bullshit that people are enforcing upon you because they couldn't

1126
01:11:57,400 --> 01:11:59,479
Speaker 1: get a handle of their own life. And that's a

1127
01:11:59,520 --> 01:12:01,280
Speaker 1: bummer for then. But you got you gotta handle on

1128
01:12:01,280 --> 01:12:03,519
Speaker 1: your own life. You got shit to do. Stop feeling

1129
01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:05,800
Speaker 1: guilty and start taking the energy and putting it into

1130
01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:07,960
Speaker 1: your daughter and putting it into yourself, because that's what

1131
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:15,679
Speaker 1: you uh, that's what you deserve. All right. Well that's it.

1132
01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:18,439
Speaker 1: I think that was gek Mail. I think we did it.

1133
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:22,800
Speaker 1: We ranted about a lot of different stuff. That's exciting.

1134
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:30,439
Speaker 1: My name is Lyle, I'm a gecko. I'm going on tour.

1135
01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:36,000
Speaker 1: Please come see my shows therapy geckotour dot com for

1136
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:39,320
Speaker 1: a list of dates I'm doing like thirty one cities

1137
01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:42,599
Speaker 1: this year. I have some stuff, I have some stories

1138
01:12:42,640 --> 01:12:46,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell I am gonna do some therapy, of course,

1139
01:12:46,920 --> 01:12:51,559
Speaker 1: and it'll be a fun good time and you will

1140
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:53,880
Speaker 1: have a fun good time. So go to therapy geckotour

1141
01:12:53,960 --> 01:13:00,320
Speaker 1: dot com. Yeah, go to therapy gecko Tour dot com

1142
01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:04,040
Speaker 1: and buy tickets. Or by the way, you have to

1143
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,960
Speaker 1: put the but you have to put the url therapy

1144
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:12,920
Speaker 1: geckotour dot com in like as a complete you don't

1145
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:17,000
Speaker 1: google therapy Gecko Tour. Put therapy gecko tour dot com

1146
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:18,680
Speaker 1: or you can or I think the link is in

1147
01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:23,639
Speaker 1: the description too for this, so you can click there too.

1148
01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:27,320
Speaker 1: But if you want to send me an email, you

1149
01:13:27,360 --> 01:13:32,400
Speaker 1: can send an email to therapy geckomail at gmail dot com.

1150
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:34,519
Speaker 1: If you want to call into the show, I don't.

1151
01:13:34,560 --> 01:13:39,600
Speaker 1: I don't really stream anymore, but I do post the

1152
01:13:39,640 --> 01:13:43,680
Speaker 1: phone number on my Instagram randomly, which is now how

1153
01:13:43,720 --> 01:13:48,240
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. So follow me on Instagram at lyle

1154
01:13:48,600 --> 01:13:52,599
Speaker 1: the number four ever, or if you just search therapy geto,

1155
01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:56,520
Speaker 1: it'll come up and uh follow me on there, and

1156
01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:59,080
Speaker 1: you know, if you see my story in time, maybe

1157
01:13:59,080 --> 01:14:05,679
Speaker 1: I'll maybe maybe we can talk. That's it. Thank you guys.

1158
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:10,800
Speaker 1: Bye Bye goes on the line, taking your phone calls

1159
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:14,400
Speaker 1: every night. Never Pink goes doing his eye. He's teaching

1160
01:14:14,439 --> 01:14:17,559
Speaker 1: you cloud to liver your life, but he's not really

1161
01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:18,479
Speaker 1: an expert.