WEBVTT - Chris Williamson - The World Needs More Babies

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to The Buck Sexton Show podcast, make sure

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<v Speaker 1>you subscribe to the podcast on the iHeartRadio app or

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<v Speaker 1>wherever you get your podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, everybody, Welcome to the Buck Sexton Show. On this

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<v Speaker 2>edition we have Chris Williamson with us. He is the

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<v Speaker 2>host of the very excellent Modern Wisdom podcast, which you

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<v Speaker 2>can get wherever you get your podcast, Spotify, et cetera. Chris,

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<v Speaker 2>first time of the program, Sir, thank you for joining us.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, mister Sexton. How are we?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm you know, pretty good man, pretty good. I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to give you just the floor for a minute here

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<v Speaker 2>to tell everybody. Generally, we have people, so a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of this is going to be people from the Clay

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<v Speaker 2>and Buck audience who subscribe to our podcast and they

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<v Speaker 2>hear this and they usually know our folks from radio

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<v Speaker 2>world or conservative media world more broadly. But you're a

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<v Speaker 2>You're just like a real deal podcast or a guy.

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<v Speaker 2>You're a jack of many trades. You're a guy who

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<v Speaker 2>crosses all boundaries and back rounds in terms of the

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<v Speaker 2>kind of people who listen. So just tell everybody who

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<v Speaker 2>is Chris Williams. Where'd this guy come from? With the

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<v Speaker 2>cool accent.

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<v Speaker 1>So born in the northeast of the UK, spent fifteen

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<v Speaker 1>years running one of the biggest events companies in the UK.

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<v Speaker 1>One thousand Club Nights stood on the front door of

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<v Speaker 1>Cold Northeast Evenings. I met about a million people, did

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<v Speaker 1>a bunch of reality TV, got a blue tick on Twitter,

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<v Speaker 1>and free charcoal, toothpaste and all of the big wins,

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<v Speaker 1>and then kind of got toward the end of my

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<v Speaker 1>twenties and thought, is this really all that I've got

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<v Speaker 1>to offer the world? Started a podcast, really enjoyed it.

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<v Speaker 1>Podcast kicked off, did very very well, and a year

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<v Speaker 1>and a bit ago I made the choice to become

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<v Speaker 1>an immigrant to your great nation. Survived my first July fourth,

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<v Speaker 1>very difficult day for me, and I've done two Thanksgivings

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<v Speaker 1>now and I think that pretty much means that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>here to stay.

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<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic. I was going to say, the first step

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<v Speaker 2>is getting you to become an American, which is obviously

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<v Speaker 2>the best decision anybody can make from the UK to

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<v Speaker 2>anywhere else. But then it would be to get you

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<v Speaker 2>to a wonderful red state in America. But I believe

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<v Speaker 2>you already inhabit one in Texas. Right on that way.

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<v Speaker 2>You know the Florida Texas You know how there's like

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<v Speaker 2>Yankees Red Sox, and there's these rivalries, the Florida Texas

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<v Speaker 2>red state rivalry, which is a friendly but increasingly fierce

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<v Speaker 2>one because you know, Texas was the heart of conservatism

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<v Speaker 2>in America for a while, certainly for the last few decades,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was actually California a little bit before that,

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<v Speaker 2>which people forget. But that's a whole other conversation if

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<v Speaker 2>you go way way back to the you know, the eighties.

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<v Speaker 2>But now you have Florida up in its game in

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<v Speaker 2>a big way. Maybe we'll get to that a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit later. Let's start with this. You do a podcast

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<v Speaker 2>which allows you to find out the most interesting things

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<v Speaker 2>from people who are trying to find out the most

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<v Speaker 2>important things in their discipline, their area. Well, what's just

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<v Speaker 2>when someone says to you, like, what do you get

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<v Speaker 2>from modern wisdom? Like? What am I going to learn about?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I actually I think it's interesting. I know

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<v Speaker 2>this is like becoming a podcast about your podcast, But

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<v Speaker 2>what are some of the things that you've learned from

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<v Speaker 2>talking to these people? These whatever thought leaders, gurus, intellectuals.

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<v Speaker 2>All you have all kinds of folks. What do you learn?

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<v Speaker 1>So I've had about six hundred episodes now one hundred

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<v Speaker 1>plus New York Times bestsellers. People like John Peterson, Andrew Human,

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<v Speaker 1>David Goggins, Jocko Willink, et cetera, et cetera. You'll learn

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<v Speaker 1>awful lot. My curiosity is pretty big. One of the

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<v Speaker 1>common themes between everybody recently, I think has been a

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<v Speaker 1>concern about fragility for the new generation that's coming through.

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<v Speaker 1>I think everyone is un impressed by the work ethic

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<v Speaker 1>and the resilience of people that are coming through.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder why that's the case. I don't disagree with them.

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<v Speaker 1>That's been something that I've been very interested in recently.

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<v Speaker 1>Declining birth rates has been something else I've been very

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<v Speaker 1>interested in recently. But the show for me is mostly

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<v Speaker 1>about finding out about myself and the world around me,

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<v Speaker 1>a stunning human nature. Why I am the way I am.

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<v Speaker 2>Really, Let's talk about gen z thing for a second, right,

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<v Speaker 2>because I you know, when I do on the podcasting

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<v Speaker 2>side and then uh TV, I feel like I generally

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm speaking to people who are on the younger end,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you know, Twitter and social media is probably

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<v Speaker 2>the youngest end of what conservative media people are, how

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<v Speaker 2>they're interacting with audience. And then you know, terrestrial radio,

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<v Speaker 2>old school radio, you tend to have an older audience.

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<v Speaker 2>And I hear from them, right, I hear from the

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<v Speaker 2>boomer boomer squad. I love them, a lot of boomers

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<v Speaker 2>who listen. I hear from them that the generations below

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<v Speaker 2>them are, you know, not not showing up, not doing

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<v Speaker 2>the hard work, all that kind of stuff. What I

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<v Speaker 2>think is interesting, though, is that I'm a millennial, believe

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<v Speaker 2>it or not, and I'm I'm as old a millennial

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<v Speaker 2>as you can possibly be. And I look at gen

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<v Speaker 2>Z and my interaction with them, and I actually think

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<v Speaker 2>we're not separated like I would expect boomers to be

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<v Speaker 2>surprised by a lot of things about gen Z. I

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<v Speaker 2>think gen Z is crazy, So I'm wondering, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think they're in for a really hard world and a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of trouble ahead of them. Am I just telling

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<v Speaker 2>them to get off my lawn a few decades before expected?

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<v Speaker 2>Or is there data? Is there something to back up

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<v Speaker 2>that gen Z is in for a rough ride.

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<v Speaker 1>I do always wonder whether every generation considers the one

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<v Speaker 1>coming after them to just be a complete nightmare, and

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<v Speaker 1>whether we are now slowly turning into the boomers that

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<v Speaker 1>we've been criticized by for a long time. But there

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<v Speaker 1>was a recent study that came out from that it's

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<v Speaker 1>called the GSS study. There's a ten percentage points gap

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<v Speaker 1>between the share of conservatives versus liberals who report being

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<v Speaker 1>very happy, and this is in pretty much every iteration

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<v Speaker 1>of the study since nineteen seventy two. Conservatives do not

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<v Speaker 1>just report high levels of happiness, they' also report higher

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<v Speaker 1>levels of meaning in their lives. There's a positive association

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<v Speaker 1>between conservative ideology and happiness that is very rarely reversed.

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<v Speaker 1>And liberals are only happier than conservatives in five out

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<v Speaker 1>of ninety two countries and never in the United States.

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<v Speaker 1>So there is something going on, I think with the

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<v Speaker 1>trendiness perhaps amongst young people for a very almost aggressively empathetic,

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<v Speaker 1>overly performative viewpoint with regards.

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<v Speaker 2>To I believe. I believe that leftism is a pathway

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<v Speaker 2>to misery in any society in any point in history.

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<v Speaker 2>And I know people say, what does leftism even mean?

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<v Speaker 2>And we can get into all the definitional debates over

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<v Speaker 2>what that, but effectively in the we can speak about it,

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<v Speaker 2>I think with some specificity in the American context, the

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<v Speaker 2>rejection of all traditionalism, the rejection of traditional gender roles,

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<v Speaker 2>traditional sense of patriotism and connection to country and community,

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<v Speaker 2>traditional religion. I'm not sure you've said that yet, but

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<v Speaker 2>obviously that would be there's all of this rejection, and

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<v Speaker 2>it seems like ultimately there is the replacement of it

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<v Speaker 2>with I mean you said either the performative politics of it,

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<v Speaker 2>but the replacement of it with the worship of the self.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean a sollipsism right, the center of the universe

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<v Speaker 2>idea for people, And I think that there are people

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<v Speaker 2>that are able to very. They're able to want monetize it,

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<v Speaker 2>which means as a market for it, but also politically,

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<v Speaker 2>by making people the center of their own world, I

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<v Speaker 2>think it actually makes them easier to control. And I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just throwing some ideas out to you. I mean, how

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<v Speaker 2>do you make sense of why people are so miserable

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<v Speaker 2>the more left wing they are? So consistently this is

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<v Speaker 2>the case in all these different polls, data, everything we

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<v Speaker 2>can see.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that if everything is a perceived injustice, you

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<v Speaker 1>have a combination in the digital age, right, you are

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<v Speaker 1>constantly exposed to new outrages. Just everybody is. All of

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<v Speaker 1>us are because of the amount of extra information that

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<v Speaker 1>we have that's coming in. But cultural elites who constantly

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<v Speaker 1>create new outrages out there. Nothing has skyrocketed number of

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<v Speaker 1>things that we can be concerned by. And if you

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<v Speaker 1>are praised if the particular background that you come from

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<v Speaker 1>upholds performative empathy, if it says that standing up for

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<v Speaker 1>the little guy, that being very very attuned with injustices,

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<v Speaker 1>that means in a world prickling with provocations, your sensibility

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<v Speaker 1>is just roam free, and you allow yourself to be

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<v Speaker 1>goaded by every visible indignation, You're endlessly distracted from your goals.

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<v Speaker 1>You're easily controlled by emotional manipulation from trolls, disinformation agents,

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<v Speaker 1>anybody that you want. I think that it is a

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<v Speaker 1>perfect cocktail of performative empathy which leads to real vulnerability.

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<v Speaker 1>And the line between what I was doing to look

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<v Speaker 1>good and what I genuinely feel is very quickly blood,

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<v Speaker 1>which can cause people to be quite quite easy to manipulate.

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<v Speaker 2>And on the problems that gen z young women particularly face,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean that's you know that There are not that

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<v Speaker 2>many times when I'll read statistics or polling or anything

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<v Speaker 2>that that's rooted in data and have to read it

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<v Speaker 2>a few times just to make sure that I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>missing something or there's some some variable that I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>taking into account. That makes the numbers seem a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit more digestible, right, I mean, there's at some level

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<v Speaker 2>you read something it's hard to process if it really

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<v Speaker 2>defies your preconceived notions of what's possible. The number of

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<v Speaker 2>the percentage i should say, of young women who have

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<v Speaker 2>thought about suicide and also engaged in and or engaged

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<v Speaker 2>in self harm already seems like it's a pandemic of

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<v Speaker 2>its own, not one that's talked about very much. What

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<v Speaker 2>is the data tell you about it? And why is

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<v Speaker 2>that happening?

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<v Speaker 1>Sixty percent of US girls reported persistent sadness and hopelessness.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the current state of I think it's under sixteens

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<v Speaker 1>in the US at the moment. That's you know, if

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<v Speaker 1>you had a disease, let's say that was able to

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<v Speaker 1>come in and afflict people with some kind of mental malady,

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<v Speaker 1>and that the effect would be one in two more

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<v Speaker 1>than one in two of them would suffer with persistent

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<v Speaker 1>sadness and hopelessness. This would be seen as one of

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<v Speaker 1>the biggest pandemics that we've ever seen. You know, forget

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<v Speaker 1>a one to two percent mortality rate. This is making

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<v Speaker 1>life essentially close to not worth living persistent sadness and hopelessness.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that there's a lot of things going on.

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<v Speaker 1>I think social media has an awful lot to answer for.

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<v Speaker 1>You are comparing yourself with the greatest lives that you

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<v Speaker 1>can see online, whilst you see yourself bumble from working

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<v Speaker 1>class home to lift to school to whatever it is

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<v Speaker 1>that's going on. You're not as thin, or as attractive

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<v Speaker 1>or as rich as you feel like you should be,

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<v Speaker 1>and the gap between the life that you could lead

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<v Speaker 1>and the life that you are leading has never been

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<v Speaker 1>more present out in front. I think that there's concerns

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<v Speaker 1>to do with hormonal birth control. The more that I

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<v Speaker 1>learn about the psychological impact of that on especially young girls' minds,

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<v Speaker 1>it is really really concerning. There's an amazing book called

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<v Speaker 1>This is Your Brain on birth control by doctor Sarah

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<v Speaker 1>Hill that needs to be factored in too, and all

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<v Speaker 1>of Jonathan Height's work as well. With the cuddling of

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<v Speaker 1>the American mind snowplow parenting and whatnot.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell tell me more about this, because I I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like when I was, you know, high school and college age,

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<v Speaker 2>there was this birth control was was prescribed so broadly

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<v Speaker 2>for women that and it was always under this context

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<v Speaker 2>of oh, it's just it's just like a thing that

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<v Speaker 2>you should do in the background. It's not even about

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<v Speaker 2>being sexually active. It'll regulate your period, it'll clear up

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<v Speaker 2>your skin. Birth control became and I mean I really

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<v Speaker 2>remember this something that you know, it was almost like, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>we're just like gonna start adding into the water for

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<v Speaker 2>young women. So they just it really became super wild.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd spread. And it's only been in recent years that

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<v Speaker 2>I've started to hear and come across women who would say,

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<v Speaker 2>I won't touch the stuff, I don't want to go

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<v Speaker 2>near it, and they have all these concerns about it.

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<v Speaker 2>What do we know about the concerns or the risks

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<v Speaker 2>the challenges of it as established, and then what about

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<v Speaker 2>things that maybe are still need more study. But there

0:12:33.217 --> 0:12:36.017
<v Speaker 2>are some real experts out there, like the doctor that

0:12:36.137 --> 0:12:38.937
<v Speaker 2>you mentioned, who have concerns that this is actually a

0:12:39.017 --> 0:12:40.337
<v Speaker 2>much bigger issue in other ways.

0:12:41.097 --> 0:12:42.897
<v Speaker 1>If anybody wants to check out a full hour and

0:12:42.937 --> 0:12:44.977
<v Speaker 1>a half conversation with me and doctor Hill. They can

0:12:45.017 --> 0:12:47.577
<v Speaker 1>just search doctor Sarah Hill Chris Williamson on YouTube and

0:12:47.577 --> 0:12:49.457
<v Speaker 1>they'll come up, or it'll be on Spotify and Apple

0:12:49.497 --> 0:12:53.577
<v Speaker 1>podcasts and stuff. But there are a whole suite of

0:12:53.697 --> 0:12:58.377
<v Speaker 1>things that occur beyond simply suppressing your ovulation. There is

0:12:58.657 --> 0:13:03.457
<v Speaker 1>increases in depression and anxiety. Particularly. What's concerning is that

0:13:03.497 --> 0:13:07.777
<v Speaker 1>there is a potential if you take birth control during

0:13:07.817 --> 0:13:11.457
<v Speaker 1>the formative years i e. Your teenagers, when your brain

0:13:11.537 --> 0:13:14.857
<v Speaker 1>is still forming, it can lock in a particular type

0:13:14.857 --> 0:13:19.057
<v Speaker 1>of folding within the brain which makes these tendencies towards

0:13:19.137 --> 0:13:23.297
<v Speaker 1>depression and anxiety irreversible. That you are creating a lifelong

0:13:23.337 --> 0:13:27.617
<v Speaker 1>susceptibility to these kinds of concerns. There is some pretty

0:13:27.657 --> 0:13:31.377
<v Speaker 1>strong evidence that suggests that women on birth control optimize

0:13:31.377 --> 0:13:34.497
<v Speaker 1>for different types of partners. They seem to optimize for

0:13:34.577 --> 0:13:37.977
<v Speaker 1>partners that are providers rather than protectors, so they will

0:13:38.097 --> 0:13:41.977
<v Speaker 1>optimize for objective metrics of success, stuff like their earning capacity,

0:13:42.017 --> 0:13:45.177
<v Speaker 1>their education. Now, in a world where two women for

0:13:45.217 --> 0:13:47.337
<v Speaker 1>every one man is completing a four year US college

0:13:47.337 --> 0:13:50.377
<v Speaker 1>degree by twenty thirty, this is going to worsen an

0:13:50.457 --> 0:13:55.057
<v Speaker 1>already imbalanced education market because the guy that might be

0:13:55.137 --> 0:13:58.177
<v Speaker 1>a blue collar worker but really handsome and rugged and

0:13:58.217 --> 0:14:00.577
<v Speaker 1>a fantastic sort of masculine man is going to be

0:14:00.577 --> 0:14:02.857
<v Speaker 1>overlooked by a woman that's on birth control. The problem

0:14:02.897 --> 0:14:05.217
<v Speaker 1>and the kicker is that when that woman comes off

0:14:05.217 --> 0:14:09.177
<v Speaker 1>birth control, all of these women, statistically, on average, have

0:14:09.417 --> 0:14:12.537
<v Speaker 1>a much a much lower level of sexual satisfaction with

0:14:12.537 --> 0:14:16.497
<v Speaker 1>the partner. So women can select a partner whilst on

0:14:16.537 --> 0:14:19.777
<v Speaker 1>birth control, which when they come off birth control, they

0:14:19.777 --> 0:14:22.057
<v Speaker 1>find themselves no longer attracted to. And this is something

0:14:22.097 --> 0:14:24.417
<v Speaker 1>that's important for both men and women to know. If

0:14:24.457 --> 0:14:26.697
<v Speaker 1>you have been in a relationship for two or three

0:14:26.817 --> 0:14:28.137
<v Speaker 1>or four years and you think right now is the

0:14:28.137 --> 0:14:30.457
<v Speaker 1>time to get engaged and get married, but she's never

0:14:30.457 --> 0:14:32.897
<v Speaker 1>come off birth control while she's still with you, that

0:14:33.057 --> 0:14:35.697
<v Speaker 1>is something that I think everybody should do, because both

0:14:35.737 --> 0:14:39.217
<v Speaker 1>the woman and the man could find that maybe they're

0:14:39.217 --> 0:14:43.377
<v Speaker 1>not quite so compatible when this hormone induced stupa gets lifted.

0:14:44.057 --> 0:14:47.177
<v Speaker 2>I assume you've probably talked to a Professor Galloway on

0:14:47.177 --> 0:14:49.777
<v Speaker 2>your show. I mean you've done six hundred episode indeed, Yeah, yeah,

0:14:49.937 --> 0:14:52.497
<v Speaker 2>I figured you would have. I've seen some of his staff,

0:14:52.497 --> 0:14:56.217
<v Speaker 2>and I to say, having lived I'm recently married, but

0:14:56.297 --> 0:14:59.337
<v Speaker 2>having lived my life as a single man in New

0:14:59.417 --> 0:15:02.537
<v Speaker 2>York City for a couple of decades, I was certainly

0:15:02.617 --> 0:15:07.097
<v Speaker 2>exposed to my fair share of dating rituals and the

0:15:07.337 --> 0:15:11.777
<v Speaker 2>dating marketplace. And I see this as tying in really

0:15:11.777 --> 0:15:16.577
<v Speaker 2>with social media. I'm I'm amazed I come across you know,

0:15:16.617 --> 0:15:20.697
<v Speaker 2>the old was that the old Greek in Greek mythology,

0:15:21.177 --> 0:15:24.017
<v Speaker 2>narcissist right looking at himself in the it was in

0:15:24.337 --> 0:15:26.457
<v Speaker 2>the pond, right, or you know, the body of water

0:15:26.777 --> 0:15:30.217
<v Speaker 2>reflecting pool, and it became in love with himself nothing

0:15:30.257 --> 0:15:32.497
<v Speaker 2>better than, nothing better than what he could see back

0:15:32.537 --> 0:15:34.937
<v Speaker 2>in his own reflection. So this idea has been around

0:15:34.937 --> 0:15:38.377
<v Speaker 2>for a long time, right, obviously gives us the term narcissism.

0:15:38.617 --> 0:15:40.777
<v Speaker 2>I am amazed at how many women I come across

0:15:40.817 --> 0:15:43.737
<v Speaker 2>who and I have known and seen and been around,

0:15:44.017 --> 0:15:48.377
<v Speaker 2>who seem to think that the purpose of being beautiful,

0:15:49.097 --> 0:15:53.577
<v Speaker 2>you know, being attractive to men is for attention and

0:15:53.737 --> 0:15:56.857
<v Speaker 2>likes on Instagram, and they give very little thought. And

0:15:56.897 --> 0:15:58.737
<v Speaker 2>of course, you know, going out on dates and having

0:15:58.737 --> 0:16:00.817
<v Speaker 2>men fly them around the world and things like that too.

0:16:01.297 --> 0:16:05.017
<v Speaker 2>But very little time spent thinking about who should I

0:16:05.097 --> 0:16:06.777
<v Speaker 2>marry and who is going to be the father of

0:16:06.817 --> 0:16:10.737
<v Speaker 2>my children? And they start thinking about that it thirty

0:16:10.777 --> 0:16:13.217
<v Speaker 2>five and it's a shock to them when they find

0:16:13.217 --> 0:16:16.537
<v Speaker 2>out that's not a smart timeline. Am I Am I

0:16:17.097 --> 0:16:19.217
<v Speaker 2>man explaining here? Or is there any route for this

0:16:19.297 --> 0:16:23.297
<v Speaker 2>in any basis for this in an objective data and expertise?

0:16:24.057 --> 0:16:27.017
<v Speaker 1>I think whatever you do is man'splaining. But with regards

0:16:27.457 --> 0:16:29.457
<v Speaker 1>with regards to the data, I'm not too sure. In

0:16:29.497 --> 0:16:31.657
<v Speaker 1>my personal experience, I've met an awful lot of girls

0:16:31.657 --> 0:16:33.377
<v Speaker 1>in nightlife, and a awful lot of them have been

0:16:33.497 --> 0:16:36.817
<v Speaker 1>very good looking, Thankfully, not many of them have had

0:16:36.977 --> 0:16:39.737
<v Speaker 1>that particular mentality that maybe in New York, thing a

0:16:39.777 --> 0:16:42.857
<v Speaker 1>cosmopolitan city with more wealth, more ceilings that you could

0:16:42.857 --> 0:16:45.417
<v Speaker 1>break up through. I'm not too sure working class from

0:16:45.417 --> 0:16:47.297
<v Speaker 1>the northeast of the UK, that hasn't been something that

0:16:47.337 --> 0:16:49.577
<v Speaker 1>I've encountered personally. One of the things that I can

0:16:49.657 --> 0:16:52.897
<v Speaker 1>tell you, though, is that eight out of ten women

0:16:53.257 --> 0:16:57.457
<v Speaker 1>who are childless didn't intend to be childless. They didn't

0:16:57.497 --> 0:16:58.737
<v Speaker 1>intend to not have children.

0:16:59.177 --> 0:17:00.017
<v Speaker 2>Something's going on.

0:17:00.737 --> 0:17:03.257
<v Speaker 1>This is a massive, massive meta analysis by someone called

0:17:03.257 --> 0:17:08.697
<v Speaker 1>Professor Rinska Kaiser, and this looked at what women who

0:17:08.777 --> 0:17:11.497
<v Speaker 1>have broken through the fertility when and not had kids

0:17:11.817 --> 0:17:14.697
<v Speaker 1>had to say about their choices in life and why

0:17:14.737 --> 0:17:17.417
<v Speaker 1>they occurred. Around about one in ten women is physiologically

0:17:17.417 --> 0:17:20.017
<v Speaker 1>incapable of having children very unfortunately, due to a variety

0:17:20.097 --> 0:17:23.177
<v Speaker 1>of factors. Around about one intend said that they always

0:17:23.217 --> 0:17:26.457
<v Speaker 1>intended to not have children, and this is planned, which

0:17:26.537 --> 0:17:30.137
<v Speaker 1>leaves a whopping four out of five non mother women

0:17:30.457 --> 0:17:33.897
<v Speaker 1>who no longer can have children who didn't intend to

0:17:33.937 --> 0:17:37.457
<v Speaker 1>not be mothers. It's called involuntary child listeners. And the

0:17:37.497 --> 0:17:41.097
<v Speaker 1>most common reason for this is that they didn't life circumstances,

0:17:41.137 --> 0:17:43.377
<v Speaker 1>as it's called, and the most common life circumstances not

0:17:43.617 --> 0:17:46.097
<v Speaker 1>meeting the right partners sufficiently early before they break through

0:17:46.137 --> 0:17:49.537
<v Speaker 1>the fertility window, which could be facilitated by perhaps not

0:17:50.737 --> 0:17:54.017
<v Speaker 1>thinking about things sufficiently seriously. I do think it's important

0:17:54.017 --> 0:17:56.217
<v Speaker 1>to not necessarily lay this at the feet of women.

0:17:56.937 --> 0:17:59.697
<v Speaker 1>When you have finally had the opportunity to go to university,

0:18:00.097 --> 0:18:02.177
<v Speaker 1>and then after you come out of university, you know

0:18:02.537 --> 0:18:05.577
<v Speaker 1>your mother and your grandmother basically didn't you for the

0:18:05.577 --> 0:18:07.977
<v Speaker 1>first time, has had the opportunity you go to university

0:18:08.017 --> 0:18:10.137
<v Speaker 1>you come out, you're twenty four or twenty five, you

0:18:10.137 --> 0:18:14.217
<v Speaker 1>spend five years in a job, and now you're thirty,

0:18:14.857 --> 0:18:18.577
<v Speaker 1>and now you've barely had adult life in the working world.

0:18:18.857 --> 0:18:21.657
<v Speaker 1>But oh my god, I have to really really rush along.

0:18:21.697 --> 0:18:25.377
<v Speaker 1>So I do think that women's fertility has become squeezed

0:18:25.457 --> 0:18:28.897
<v Speaker 1>by their increasing opportunities in education and employment. This doesn't

0:18:28.897 --> 0:18:30.377
<v Speaker 1>mean at all that we should draw it back. It

0:18:30.377 --> 0:18:32.777
<v Speaker 1>does mean that we probably should say to girls, look

0:18:32.897 --> 0:18:35.657
<v Speaker 1>like you know, the clock is ticking. An IVF is

0:18:35.657 --> 0:18:39.257
<v Speaker 1>not a miracle wondered drug. It's not going to fix

0:18:39.377 --> 0:18:42.137
<v Speaker 1>everything it is. There are limitations to what you can

0:18:42.137 --> 0:18:45.137
<v Speaker 1>do biologically. And you know, these women, eight out of

0:18:45.177 --> 0:18:47.657
<v Speaker 1>ten they grieve for families that they've never had. There

0:18:47.657 --> 0:18:49.817
<v Speaker 1>are support groups around the world for these women, and

0:18:50.657 --> 0:18:52.657
<v Speaker 1>you know, for the people that say.

0:18:52.897 --> 0:18:56.817
<v Speaker 2>But I'm sorry, is it possible that women are being

0:18:57.697 --> 0:18:59.617
<v Speaker 2>and this is of course in the aggregate, and there's

0:18:59.657 --> 0:19:02.377
<v Speaker 2>all kinds of things we could say, provisos and exceptions

0:19:02.417 --> 0:19:05.857
<v Speaker 2>and everything else. Women are being lied to about how

0:19:05.897 --> 0:19:09.777
<v Speaker 2>they should approach their life path. I mean I say

0:19:09.777 --> 0:19:12.977
<v Speaker 2>lied to, I mean by society now by and large,

0:19:12.977 --> 0:19:15.777
<v Speaker 2>I mean you're again laying out the numbers, there's something

0:19:15.817 --> 0:19:19.777
<v Speaker 2>that's going very wrong here. And I would also, you know,

0:19:19.777 --> 0:19:21.337
<v Speaker 2>I think that the problem is whenever you start to

0:19:21.377 --> 0:19:23.577
<v Speaker 2>say here's a problem that faces women, especially if you're

0:19:23.577 --> 0:19:25.377
<v Speaker 2>a guy, I mean maybe not for you, because you

0:19:25.417 --> 0:19:28.977
<v Speaker 2>seem very like in touch with people and sensitive and empathetic,

0:19:28.977 --> 0:19:30.497
<v Speaker 2>you know, maybe a little more of the man splenning

0:19:30.537 --> 0:19:33.377
<v Speaker 2>over here. But nonetheless, you know you're a guy, so

0:19:33.457 --> 0:19:35.537
<v Speaker 2>there's always this oh, it's not about a battle of

0:19:35.537 --> 0:19:37.137
<v Speaker 2>the sexist thing. I mean I could also sit here

0:19:37.137 --> 0:19:40.137
<v Speaker 2>and talk about how men with options have just become

0:19:41.017 --> 0:19:47.057
<v Speaker 2>just like disgustingly, uh you know, just it's all about swipe, swipe, swipe.

0:19:47.377 --> 0:19:49.777
<v Speaker 2>You know, you know, it's it's all so casual and

0:19:49.777 --> 0:19:51.617
<v Speaker 2>they got tons of time and they don't really care.

0:19:51.697 --> 0:19:53.857
<v Speaker 2>And you know that comes with consequence, as it comes

0:19:53.897 --> 0:19:57.297
<v Speaker 2>with certainly emotional and time consequences for the women involved

0:19:57.857 --> 0:19:59.337
<v Speaker 2>over the long term. I would argue too, for a

0:19:59.377 --> 0:20:01.337
<v Speaker 2>lot of guys, they realize, you know, I don't even

0:20:01.337 --> 0:20:02.657
<v Speaker 2>realize what was that even all about.

0:20:02.737 --> 0:20:04.617
<v Speaker 1>You know, that's not good either. No, I think that

0:20:04.697 --> 0:20:06.857
<v Speaker 1>a wealth of opportunities for guys that are very high

0:20:06.897 --> 0:20:08.737
<v Speaker 1>status with a ton of different women that they could

0:20:08.737 --> 0:20:10.497
<v Speaker 1>sleep with every night. It's like a child that can

0:20:10.537 --> 0:20:12.377
<v Speaker 1>eat ice cream. It might be what it wants, but

0:20:12.417 --> 0:20:14.897
<v Speaker 1>it's not necessarily good for it. And yeah, you know,

0:20:15.337 --> 0:20:20.177
<v Speaker 1>I if there is somebody that feels icky about two

0:20:20.177 --> 0:20:23.097
<v Speaker 1>guys talking about women's issues, well would you rather just

0:20:23.257 --> 0:20:25.617
<v Speaker 1>not care? I'm not trying to drag women out of

0:20:25.657 --> 0:20:27.617
<v Speaker 1>the boardroom and put them back into the kitchen or

0:20:27.617 --> 0:20:30.337
<v Speaker 1>the bedroom. What I'm saying is that eight out of

0:20:30.417 --> 0:20:33.977
<v Speaker 1>ten women who don't have children didn't intend to not

0:20:34.057 --> 0:20:36.897
<v Speaker 1>have children after their fertility window breaks. How is that

0:20:37.057 --> 0:20:40.537
<v Speaker 1>anything shy of just straight up empathy. You say that

0:20:40.577 --> 0:20:43.217
<v Speaker 1>you want men to talk about women's problems, to care

0:20:43.257 --> 0:20:46.377
<v Speaker 1>about the issues that women have. There are very few

0:20:46.377 --> 0:20:48.537
<v Speaker 1>issues that are going to affect women more emotionally than this.

0:20:48.897 --> 0:20:50.217
<v Speaker 2>Well, I want to come back in a second here

0:20:50.257 --> 0:20:53.777
<v Speaker 2>and ask you what are the the solutions Maybe too

0:20:53.817 --> 0:20:55.977
<v Speaker 2>strong a word, but what are the ways to address

0:20:56.017 --> 0:20:59.657
<v Speaker 2>this in a positive way that are being raised? But

0:20:59.697 --> 0:21:02.417
<v Speaker 2>we'll get to that a second, because I want to

0:21:02.417 --> 0:21:05.097
<v Speaker 2>set everybody up who's watching this spring to have their

0:21:05.097 --> 0:21:06.697
<v Speaker 2>full energy. You want to be like Chris. You want

0:21:06.697 --> 0:21:09.057
<v Speaker 2>to be a guy who's full of energy, vitality you know,

0:21:09.617 --> 0:21:11.257
<v Speaker 2>is getting out there. I don't even This guy probably

0:21:11.257 --> 0:21:14.057
<v Speaker 2>deadlifts four hundred pounds look at him. But with the

0:21:14.097 --> 0:21:16.897
<v Speaker 2>news being what it is, you know you got to

0:21:16.937 --> 0:21:20.017
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0:21:20.457 --> 0:21:23.257
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0:21:23.337 --> 0:21:26.737
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0:21:26.817 --> 0:21:29.817
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0:21:29.857 --> 0:21:32.977
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0:21:39.737 --> 0:21:42.057
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0:22:10.657 --> 0:22:12.897
<v Speaker 2>I do want to let's ask abou addressing the female

0:22:12.937 --> 0:22:17.297
<v Speaker 2>issue of the childlessness, but also masculinity, sir, since we're

0:22:17.337 --> 0:22:21.457
<v Speaker 2>just talking about testosterone and the decline thereof which is

0:22:21.457 --> 0:22:23.537
<v Speaker 2>also I know, a scientific fact in reality. We'll get

0:22:23.537 --> 0:22:25.057
<v Speaker 2>to that in a second. But all right, so the

0:22:25.097 --> 0:22:27.617
<v Speaker 2>people see. My concern is that when when we sit

0:22:27.657 --> 0:22:31.617
<v Speaker 2>here we talk about women are child without child, and

0:22:31.737 --> 0:22:34.217
<v Speaker 2>usually that means without in many cases I should say,

0:22:34.217 --> 0:22:36.937
<v Speaker 2>I mean without a family of their own as well. Right,

0:22:36.977 --> 0:22:39.017
<v Speaker 2>those things tend to go together, not always. Some women

0:22:39.057 --> 0:22:40.417
<v Speaker 2>get married and don't have kids, but a lot of

0:22:40.457 --> 0:22:43.857
<v Speaker 2>women end up not getting married and not having children.

0:22:43.937 --> 0:22:46.617
<v Speaker 2>I have my ideas for how this could be solved

0:22:46.657 --> 0:22:49.057
<v Speaker 2>for a little bit, but I want to know what

0:22:49.097 --> 0:22:50.937
<v Speaker 2>do what do the experts, I mean, you sit down

0:22:50.977 --> 0:22:53.497
<v Speaker 2>with experts in fields like this, what do they think

0:22:53.537 --> 0:22:54.537
<v Speaker 2>can be done about this?

0:22:55.457 --> 0:22:58.057
<v Speaker 1>One of the problems is that it's a multivariate problem,

0:22:58.097 --> 0:23:00.297
<v Speaker 1>which means that there is no single silver bullets to

0:23:00.297 --> 0:23:02.657
<v Speaker 1>fix it. Some of the suggestions that I think that

0:23:02.657 --> 0:23:06.017
<v Speaker 1>would be fruitful would be encouraging in person dating. Again,

0:23:06.297 --> 0:23:09.497
<v Speaker 1>so since the advent of me too, which was a

0:23:09.777 --> 0:23:13.297
<v Speaker 1>much needed pushback against men that were using their positions

0:23:13.337 --> 0:23:15.897
<v Speaker 1>of power to manipulate women into sex, which is not

0:23:15.977 --> 0:23:18.737
<v Speaker 1>something that anybody, man or woman should want. However, it

0:23:19.177 --> 0:23:22.257
<v Speaker 1>can overcorrect and take it to the situation where women

0:23:22.297 --> 0:23:24.017
<v Speaker 1>are terrified to be approached by men and men are

0:23:24.057 --> 0:23:26.977
<v Speaker 1>terrified to do the approaching, which means that you've seen

0:23:26.977 --> 0:23:30.657
<v Speaker 1>these jim TikTok videos of guys that will go over

0:23:30.697 --> 0:23:34.537
<v Speaker 1>and ask if the girl needs help unloading her blue bridge, deadlift,

0:23:34.577 --> 0:23:37.497
<v Speaker 1>workout or whatever, and then now on TikTok to a

0:23:37.497 --> 0:23:40.537
<v Speaker 1>few million people being called a creep. That sets a

0:23:40.617 --> 0:23:43.497
<v Speaker 1>very worrying precedent because eighty six percent of women say

0:23:43.497 --> 0:23:45.057
<v Speaker 1>that they want a man to make the first move,

0:23:45.257 --> 0:23:47.417
<v Speaker 1>but eighty percent of men say that they will not

0:23:47.577 --> 0:23:49.777
<v Speaker 1>approach a woman for fear of being seen as creepy.

0:23:50.817 --> 0:23:53.217
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, to tell people, you know my dad, I

0:23:53.217 --> 0:23:56.937
<v Speaker 2>will tell you he was always he was always. You know,

0:23:57.017 --> 0:23:59.337
<v Speaker 2>you gotta you gotta, you gotta ask, you know, you

0:23:59.417 --> 0:24:02.177
<v Speaker 2>gotta ask for for the number, you've gotta get it.

0:24:02.217 --> 0:24:04.257
<v Speaker 2>And if you get rejected, it's fine. You just take

0:24:04.257 --> 0:24:05.937
<v Speaker 2>it like a man. You say, well, it's nice to

0:24:05.977 --> 0:24:08.577
<v Speaker 2>you know. And this was sort of part of manhood

0:24:08.617 --> 0:24:09.977
<v Speaker 2>training for I think a lot of people, not to

0:24:10.217 --> 0:24:13.337
<v Speaker 2>me or for whatever that's worth. But now I mean

0:24:13.377 --> 0:24:16.057
<v Speaker 2>I think that. I mean you mentioned those videos. There's

0:24:16.097 --> 0:24:18.617
<v Speaker 2>one video where some woman a guy looks in or

0:24:18.777 --> 0:24:20.497
<v Speaker 2>and this one went super viral. You saw this, I'm

0:24:20.497 --> 0:24:24.337
<v Speaker 2>sure too, looked in her general direction and she like

0:24:24.537 --> 0:24:26.337
<v Speaker 2>starts in with him like what are you looking at?

0:24:26.417 --> 0:24:27.777
<v Speaker 2>And he's like, I work here, Like what are you

0:24:27.777 --> 0:24:29.857
<v Speaker 2>even talking about? And I work in a gym, I

0:24:29.897 --> 0:24:34.217
<v Speaker 2>mean work, yeah, right, I occasionally go to I have

0:24:34.337 --> 0:24:37.177
<v Speaker 2>time the elliptical machines in a gym near me, but

0:24:37.217 --> 0:24:39.937
<v Speaker 2>it is in Miami. There are women who have set Oh,

0:24:39.977 --> 0:24:42.537
<v Speaker 2>first of all, they're basically wearing lingerie and second of

0:24:42.537 --> 0:24:44.097
<v Speaker 2>a which is fine, but I mean, you know, you

0:24:44.177 --> 0:24:47.057
<v Speaker 2>are wearing very very very little to work out. I

0:24:47.057 --> 0:24:50.017
<v Speaker 2>mean there are levels here, but they're setting up cameras

0:24:50.577 --> 0:24:53.817
<v Speaker 2>in the lingerie in the public gym to videotape themselves

0:24:53.897 --> 0:24:55.297
<v Speaker 2>working out. I'm sure you've seen this too.

0:24:56.097 --> 0:24:57.097
<v Speaker 1>The tripod squad.

0:24:57.257 --> 0:24:59.497
<v Speaker 2>Yep. We oh wow, there's a term for it. I

0:24:59.537 --> 0:25:01.657
<v Speaker 2>don't even know there's a there's a term for everything.

0:25:01.657 --> 0:25:06.017
<v Speaker 1>There's a meme for everything. But yeah, I'm very I

0:25:06.017 --> 0:25:09.377
<v Speaker 1>think that that trend is very quickly being reversed. I

0:25:09.417 --> 0:25:14.417
<v Speaker 1>think that and understand that everybody pushed back against those videos, right,

0:25:14.497 --> 0:25:16.377
<v Speaker 1>Everyone has pushed back against them because it was seen

0:25:16.377 --> 0:25:19.217
<v Speaker 1>as ridiculous. But yeah, man, eighty six percent of women

0:25:19.257 --> 0:25:20.697
<v Speaker 1>said they want a man to make the first move

0:25:20.697 --> 0:25:22.777
<v Speaker 1>in eighty percent of men say they're terrified of approaching

0:25:22.777 --> 0:25:26.097
<v Speaker 1>a woman for being seen as creepy. In a world

0:25:26.217 --> 0:25:30.257
<v Speaker 1>where one in three men hasn't had sex in the

0:25:30.297 --> 0:25:32.817
<v Speaker 1>last year aged eighteen to thirty, that tripled from eight

0:25:32.857 --> 0:25:34.617
<v Speaker 1>to twenty eight percent from two thousand and eight to

0:25:34.657 --> 0:25:37.537
<v Speaker 1>twenty eighteen. In a world with that, we need to

0:25:37.537 --> 0:25:42.097
<v Speaker 1>be doing things to foster more of these kind of relationships.

0:25:42.137 --> 0:25:43.937
<v Speaker 1>And I know that you were going to talk about masculinity.

0:25:44.257 --> 0:25:46.417
<v Speaker 1>One very probably the most shocking stat that I've learned

0:25:46.457 --> 0:25:48.977
<v Speaker 1>over the last year is that fifty percent of men

0:25:49.057 --> 0:25:51.057
<v Speaker 1>said that they are not looking for casual or long

0:25:51.137 --> 0:25:54.017
<v Speaker 1>term relationships aged eighteen to thirty sixty one percent in

0:25:54.057 --> 0:25:57.057
<v Speaker 1>twenty nineteen, it's down fifty percent. Now, both you and

0:25:57.097 --> 0:25:59.617
<v Speaker 1>me have been through the ages of eighteen to thirty

0:25:59.617 --> 0:26:03.497
<v Speaker 1>and understand the reality bending torment of the male sex

0:26:03.577 --> 0:26:06.417
<v Speaker 1>drive during those ages. If you can imagine that one

0:26:06.457 --> 0:26:08.857
<v Speaker 1>in two men is saying they are not looking for

0:26:08.977 --> 0:26:13.537
<v Speaker 1>either casual relationationships or long term relationships. That's very worrying.

0:26:14.057 --> 0:26:16.777
<v Speaker 2>How much of a of a role you know that

0:26:16.857 --> 0:26:20.457
<v Speaker 2>there's these there's these groups that have gonna say groups,

0:26:20.457 --> 0:26:22.977
<v Speaker 2>you know, these ideas, memes, you know whatever. You know,

0:26:23.017 --> 0:26:26.097
<v Speaker 2>you'll hear this. But I think actually in the UK,

0:26:26.257 --> 0:26:28.377
<v Speaker 2>wasn't there wasn't there per where there was a whole

0:26:28.417 --> 0:26:32.217
<v Speaker 2>like no wanking was a thing. These groups say no fat,

0:26:32.257 --> 0:26:35.577
<v Speaker 2>thank you, sorry, sorry close, I was close, No fat exactly.

0:26:35.577 --> 0:26:36.897
<v Speaker 2>This is a real thing for people to think that

0:26:36.937 --> 0:26:40.537
<v Speaker 2>I'm being crazy, and but I've seen others who are

0:26:40.537 --> 0:26:42.737
<v Speaker 2>making this and it always ties in really to I mean,

0:26:42.737 --> 0:26:47.177
<v Speaker 2>that's a little more specific, but the proliferation of pornography.

0:26:48.497 --> 0:26:51.377
<v Speaker 2>I mean, ever, everyone always talking about this. You know technology. Obviously,

0:26:51.377 --> 0:26:53.577
<v Speaker 2>technology comes with great things, there's downsides. We're of all

0:26:53.617 --> 0:26:55.777
<v Speaker 2>figuring this out. Hopefully Chris and I aren't both gonna

0:26:56.177 --> 0:26:58.657
<v Speaker 2>end up being replaced by AI machines in the next

0:26:58.657 --> 0:27:03.257
<v Speaker 2>few years. But it seems to me that the proliferation

0:27:03.457 --> 0:27:09.617
<v Speaker 2>of pornography online is something that humanity wasn't really prepared for,

0:27:09.657 --> 0:27:13.257
<v Speaker 2>and it's just starting to figure out how bad it

0:27:13.377 --> 0:27:15.497
<v Speaker 2>is for these Like I mean I tell people is

0:27:15.577 --> 0:27:18.817
<v Speaker 2>like I made a gosh going on like fifteen years ago.

0:27:18.857 --> 0:27:21.257
<v Speaker 2>I was just like, noborn done. I don't want to

0:27:21.297 --> 0:27:22.657
<v Speaker 2>see it. I don't want to look at it. I

0:27:22.657 --> 0:27:26.657
<v Speaker 2>don't you know, And I found it was both freeing

0:27:26.817 --> 0:27:29.137
<v Speaker 2>and helpful as a guide just be like I just

0:27:29.217 --> 0:27:29.977
<v Speaker 2>don't do that.

0:27:31.217 --> 0:27:33.977
<v Speaker 1>There are a few supernormal stimuli in the modern world,

0:27:34.057 --> 0:27:36.977
<v Speaker 1>so French fries would be one of them. The saltiness,

0:27:37.017 --> 0:27:40.577
<v Speaker 1>the crunchiness, the fluffiness is a food that we would

0:27:40.657 --> 0:27:43.097
<v Speaker 1>have not been evolved to being able to deal with.

0:27:43.257 --> 0:27:45.937
<v Speaker 1>And you were able to see now within twenty minutes

0:27:46.097 --> 0:27:48.617
<v Speaker 1>on a single iPhone more women than you would be

0:27:48.657 --> 0:27:51.657
<v Speaker 1>exposed to in your entire life ancessrally, So it is

0:27:51.777 --> 0:27:56.497
<v Speaker 1>absolutely something that's a supernormal stimuli. One slight white pill

0:27:56.777 --> 0:28:01.097
<v Speaker 1>that should push back against too much concern is that

0:28:01.137 --> 0:28:03.537
<v Speaker 1>the story you tell yourself around your porn news seems

0:28:03.577 --> 0:28:07.297
<v Speaker 1>to be very, very instrumental in how it affects you.

0:28:07.697 --> 0:28:10.857
<v Speaker 1>That porn is not quite neutral, porn use is not

0:28:10.897 --> 0:28:15.097
<v Speaker 1>quite neutral. But if you have a relatively healthy relationship

0:28:15.257 --> 0:28:17.457
<v Speaker 1>with it, and if you do have a partner, if

0:28:17.457 --> 0:28:19.697
<v Speaker 1>you're not hiding your use from your partner, and if

0:28:19.697 --> 0:28:22.977
<v Speaker 1>you don't feel ashamed after you use it, that is

0:28:23.297 --> 0:28:25.537
<v Speaker 1>a pretty good market. Those people seem to be able

0:28:25.537 --> 0:28:27.737
<v Speaker 1>to kind of continue to move through life. Now, one

0:28:27.737 --> 0:28:28.497
<v Speaker 1>of the problems.

0:28:28.217 --> 0:28:34.097
<v Speaker 2>You're using it on an instruction basis, perhaps DIY feel

0:28:34.177 --> 0:28:34.457
<v Speaker 2>to it.

0:28:34.537 --> 0:28:37.577
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it seems that way, yes, but as you said,

0:28:37.817 --> 0:28:42.297
<v Speaker 1>you almost anybody that realizes that they don't like what

0:28:42.417 --> 0:28:45.137
<v Speaker 1>porn does in the world is probably not going to

0:28:45.137 --> 0:28:47.457
<v Speaker 1>feel particularly good if they use it themselves. Now, the

0:28:47.497 --> 0:28:49.497
<v Speaker 1>problem comes if you have someone like that who doesn't

0:28:49.497 --> 0:28:52.497
<v Speaker 1>do what you did and recount use of porn and say,

0:28:52.497 --> 0:28:54.577
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to bother using this anymore. If you

0:28:54.617 --> 0:28:57.297
<v Speaker 1>have someone who doesn't like it but continues to use it,

0:28:57.897 --> 0:29:02.177
<v Speaker 1>that is a recipe for bad relationships, for reduced sex drive.

0:29:02.457 --> 0:29:05.617
<v Speaker 1>It seems to have a downstream a pretty big host

0:29:05.617 --> 0:29:08.057
<v Speaker 1>of stuff. Couple that with social media and video games,

0:29:08.137 --> 0:29:11.537
<v Speaker 1>and you have muted a lot of men's goal seeking

0:29:11.577 --> 0:29:13.257
<v Speaker 1>and reproductive chasing behavior.

0:29:14.537 --> 0:29:18.297
<v Speaker 2>I want to ask about how society is also suppressing

0:29:19.057 --> 0:29:21.737
<v Speaker 2>what I would argue are masculine virtues and what you've

0:29:21.737 --> 0:29:24.857
<v Speaker 2>come across from your conversations, both your own research and

0:29:24.857 --> 0:29:26.617
<v Speaker 2>conversations with experts about that. We'll get to that in

0:29:26.657 --> 0:29:28.977
<v Speaker 2>just a second, but it makes all kinds of sense

0:29:29.017 --> 0:29:31.177
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0:29:31.217 --> 0:29:33.057
<v Speaker 2>on you to be there for them. You want to

0:29:33.057 --> 0:29:35.857
<v Speaker 2>have life insurance just in case. Right, I got married

0:29:35.897 --> 0:29:38.817
<v Speaker 2>earlier this year, so life insurance is something that I

0:29:38.937 --> 0:29:40.897
<v Speaker 2>have now, and you've got to have it too. The

0:29:40.977 --> 0:29:43.137
<v Speaker 2>right insurance plan gives you peace of mind because if

0:29:43.137 --> 0:29:45.537
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0:29:45.537 --> 0:29:48.057
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0:29:48.057 --> 0:29:50.537
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0:29:50.537 --> 0:29:52.297
<v Speaker 2>insurance provided by the job you have, it may not

0:29:52.377 --> 0:29:54.817
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0:29:54.897 --> 0:29:59.337
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0:29:59.337 --> 0:30:02.457
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0:30:38.457 --> 0:30:41.697
<v Speaker 2>So I'm speaking to Chris Williamson here life genius. This

0:30:41.777 --> 0:30:44.017
<v Speaker 2>guy knows all kinds of things about how to lead

0:30:44.577 --> 0:30:47.697
<v Speaker 2>a life rooted in modern wisdom. Also the name of

0:30:47.857 --> 0:30:51.897
<v Speaker 2>his of his podcast, and that's where I can also

0:30:51.937 --> 0:30:56.137
<v Speaker 2>now take the conversation two. It feels like what would

0:30:56.137 --> 0:30:58.417
<v Speaker 2>have been described as a we how old are you?

0:30:58.657 --> 0:31:00.097
<v Speaker 2>I can't. I don't even know how old you are?

0:31:00.657 --> 0:31:01.217
<v Speaker 1>Thirty five?

0:31:01.577 --> 0:31:03.697
<v Speaker 2>Thirty five? All right, so we're I mean, I'm forty one,

0:31:03.777 --> 0:31:05.697
<v Speaker 2>so I'm a little bit, you know, just wait to

0:31:05.697 --> 0:31:07.617
<v Speaker 2>get to be my age. Your shoulders start to hurt

0:31:07.657 --> 0:31:10.937
<v Speaker 2>for no reason. Your knees already book. You probably do

0:31:10.937 --> 0:31:12.977
<v Speaker 2>a lot of yoga and stuff though here anyway, But

0:31:12.977 --> 0:31:16.057
<v Speaker 2>you got like five or six years. But what what

0:31:16.057 --> 0:31:20.937
<v Speaker 2>what we grew up with as the masculine virtues. It

0:31:21.017 --> 0:31:24.857
<v Speaker 2>seems increasingly there really, there really is a broad societal

0:31:24.857 --> 0:31:28.057
<v Speaker 2>effort to make that stuff. I mean, toxic masculinity is

0:31:28.097 --> 0:31:31.497
<v Speaker 2>the obvious phrase that's used, but to suppress it. And

0:31:31.537 --> 0:31:33.417
<v Speaker 2>starting also at a very young age, you know, for

0:31:33.497 --> 0:31:35.577
<v Speaker 2>young men, you know they're uh, you know, I mean

0:31:35.617 --> 0:31:39.617
<v Speaker 2>your boys, even they're a rambunctiousness there the things that

0:31:39.617 --> 0:31:41.457
<v Speaker 2>we would associate with boys will be boys and they

0:31:41.457 --> 0:31:43.017
<v Speaker 2>get older and this is what a man should be.

0:31:43.617 --> 0:31:45.297
<v Speaker 2>Feels like society is trying to turn all that on

0:31:45.377 --> 0:31:47.097
<v Speaker 2>its head. How much of that is real? And how

0:31:47.137 --> 0:31:48.537
<v Speaker 2>bad is it if it is real?

0:31:49.737 --> 0:31:52.377
<v Speaker 1>I think that there are some real concerns to do

0:31:52.457 --> 0:31:54.977
<v Speaker 1>with how society sees boys in masculinity. At the moment

0:31:55.177 --> 0:31:58.777
<v Speaker 1>you spoke about toxic masculinity. I actually found recently, for

0:31:58.817 --> 0:32:00.577
<v Speaker 1>a debate that I did out in Qatar, a bunch

0:32:00.577 --> 0:32:05.537
<v Speaker 1>of different headlines that were accused of being toxic masculinity

0:32:05.537 --> 0:32:09.337
<v Speaker 1>that come through in the mainstream media recently, Brexit toxic masculinity,

0:32:09.337 --> 0:32:12.257
<v Speaker 1>the election of Donald Trump, not wearing a mask, eating meat,

0:32:12.657 --> 0:32:17.137
<v Speaker 1>physical fitness toxic masculinity, hip hop, smelling of axe body

0:32:17.177 --> 0:32:20.337
<v Speaker 1>spray was toxic masculinity being interested.

0:32:22.217 --> 0:32:26.297
<v Speaker 2>To be fair, I don't, I'm not a fan, keep going.

0:32:26.537 --> 0:32:29.177
<v Speaker 1>Pretty oppressive, playing board games, being interested in cars and

0:32:29.217 --> 0:32:31.897
<v Speaker 1>saying hello or have a nice day. So there are

0:32:33.817 --> 0:32:38.417
<v Speaker 1>what used to be simply unpleasant or perhaps slightly distasteful

0:32:38.457 --> 0:32:41.297
<v Speaker 1>behavior by men has now become pathologized. And if you

0:32:41.377 --> 0:32:45.057
<v Speaker 1>want to guarantee men not engaging in a conversation, you

0:32:45.097 --> 0:32:47.857
<v Speaker 1>want to pathologize them. You want to basically make it

0:32:47.897 --> 0:32:49.777
<v Speaker 1>out that there is something inside of them that needs

0:32:49.817 --> 0:32:53.177
<v Speaker 1>to be exhumed or exercised. Right like original sin, you

0:32:53.217 --> 0:32:56.217
<v Speaker 1>are broken. You are Ultimately it is your fault. And

0:32:56.257 --> 0:32:59.057
<v Speaker 1>when we come to parts of masculinity that we probably

0:32:59.057 --> 0:33:03.577
<v Speaker 1>should keep a hold of. The twenty twelve shooting in Aurora, Colorado,

0:33:03.977 --> 0:33:07.577
<v Speaker 1>the Dark Knight movie premiere. So the shooter is a

0:33:07.617 --> 0:33:10.457
<v Speaker 1>twenty four year old male and in the midst of

0:33:10.457 --> 0:33:14.457
<v Speaker 1>the onslaught there's three men twenty four, twenty six, and

0:33:14.497 --> 0:33:17.897
<v Speaker 1>twenty seven who threw themselves on top of their girlfriends

0:33:17.897 --> 0:33:20.857
<v Speaker 1>as these bullets are shot into the crowd. All three

0:33:20.897 --> 0:33:25.497
<v Speaker 1>men died, all three women survived. That is precisely the

0:33:25.577 --> 0:33:28.897
<v Speaker 1>kind of masculinity that will be gotten rid of if

0:33:28.897 --> 0:33:31.657
<v Speaker 1>you want to throw baby, bathwater, and bath out altogether.

0:33:33.137 --> 0:33:36.697
<v Speaker 2>Yes, And it seems that unfortunately this is also playing

0:33:36.697 --> 0:33:38.817
<v Speaker 2>out of me and I just had I had a

0:33:38.897 --> 0:33:42.217
<v Speaker 2>lot of people with military and special operations backgrounds on

0:33:42.377 --> 0:33:45.137
<v Speaker 2>both radio for many many years now, and then even

0:33:45.177 --> 0:33:52.097
<v Speaker 2>on the podcast, we had a Kiowa female Kiowa combat

0:33:52.177 --> 0:33:55.337
<v Speaker 2>pilot multiple tours overseas, you know, flying one of those

0:33:55.337 --> 0:33:58.377
<v Speaker 2>helicopters that's got rocket pods on it and machine guns

0:33:58.377 --> 0:34:00.137
<v Speaker 2>and was doing all the stuff that one does in

0:34:00.177 --> 0:34:03.097
<v Speaker 2>a combat zone. And she said that the military is

0:34:03.137 --> 0:34:07.417
<v Speaker 2>now being toyed with, and there's a social engineering that's

0:34:07.417 --> 0:34:10.977
<v Speaker 2>going on that's meant to undermine the base ethos of

0:34:11.577 --> 0:34:14.297
<v Speaker 2>people that have to be willing to put their lives online,

0:34:14.417 --> 0:34:17.177
<v Speaker 2>not necessarily in the same context as what you just mentioned,

0:34:17.177 --> 0:34:20.257
<v Speaker 2>but for their country as well as you know, for

0:34:20.337 --> 0:34:23.217
<v Speaker 2>their their comrades and arms. So I do think something's

0:34:23.297 --> 0:34:27.017
<v Speaker 2>going on there all. But but switching gears for a second,

0:34:27.577 --> 0:34:29.417
<v Speaker 2>you know, one of the things, I mean, I came

0:34:29.457 --> 0:34:31.977
<v Speaker 2>across your work. I've seen it on on the TikTok

0:34:32.057 --> 0:34:35.257
<v Speaker 2>and some other places, and there are moments I think

0:34:35.257 --> 0:34:40.497
<v Speaker 2>there are distill there are distilled moments of insight from

0:34:40.737 --> 0:34:43.817
<v Speaker 2>from the work that you're doing that are particularly pointing

0:34:43.857 --> 0:34:46.697
<v Speaker 2>in that very memorable for people. What's something though, that

0:34:46.737 --> 0:34:51.497
<v Speaker 2>you've come away from one of your conversations that you

0:34:51.577 --> 0:34:55.857
<v Speaker 2>say to yourself is a difficult truth that people need

0:34:55.857 --> 0:34:59.337
<v Speaker 2>to hear that you just you know, you want to

0:34:59.377 --> 0:35:01.097
<v Speaker 2>spread the word about it, but you know people don't.

0:35:01.337 --> 0:35:03.977
<v Speaker 2>What is a difficult truth that people think? I want

0:35:03.977 --> 0:35:05.777
<v Speaker 2>to find a way around that I want to argue

0:35:05.817 --> 0:35:07.417
<v Speaker 2>with Chris on that you're like, no, this is the

0:35:07.457 --> 0:35:07.897
<v Speaker 2>way it is.

0:35:09.657 --> 0:35:12.097
<v Speaker 1>So two what would come to mind. One is that

0:35:12.737 --> 0:35:15.657
<v Speaker 1>regrets are inevitable in life, that they're not a bug

0:35:15.857 --> 0:35:17.937
<v Speaker 1>of life, They're a feature. You are going to have

0:35:17.977 --> 0:35:21.177
<v Speaker 1>regrets in life. And when it comes to choosing between

0:35:21.217 --> 0:35:24.897
<v Speaker 1>different things, a much smarter question to ask yourself would

0:35:24.937 --> 0:35:27.497
<v Speaker 1>be which regret can I live with? As opposed to

0:35:27.577 --> 0:35:30.577
<v Speaker 1>which thing do I want to do? Because what you

0:35:30.657 --> 0:35:33.617
<v Speaker 1>realize is over time you're going to accumulate regrets and

0:35:33.697 --> 0:35:35.737
<v Speaker 1>those are the things that are going to hurt a lot.

0:35:36.057 --> 0:35:38.577
<v Speaker 1>So if you do end up being faced with a

0:35:38.577 --> 0:35:41.257
<v Speaker 1>difficult challenge, one that is risky but is going to

0:35:41.257 --> 0:35:43.257
<v Speaker 1>be fulfilling and will close a loop and will mean

0:35:43.257 --> 0:35:44.737
<v Speaker 1>that for the rest of your life you don't ever

0:35:44.817 --> 0:35:46.497
<v Speaker 1>have to wonder about whether or not you could have

0:35:46.497 --> 0:35:49.537
<v Speaker 1>what should have done that thing. That's something that's very good.

0:35:49.817 --> 0:35:51.537
<v Speaker 1>The other thing, and this is a good question that

0:35:51.577 --> 0:35:53.777
<v Speaker 1>I love to ask friends at dinner parties, is what

0:35:53.897 --> 0:35:56.617
<v Speaker 1>is currently being ignored by the media, but in future

0:35:56.657 --> 0:35:59.937
<v Speaker 1>will be studied by historians. And it's my belief that

0:36:00.097 --> 0:36:03.017
<v Speaker 1>the birth rate decline at the moment is something which

0:36:03.297 --> 0:36:06.897
<v Speaker 1>nobody is paying attention to. Climate change is the current

0:36:07.017 --> 0:36:10.177
<v Speaker 1>existential crisis that is given an awful lot of focus,

0:36:10.897 --> 0:36:14.137
<v Speaker 1>and in thirty or forty years, you are going to

0:36:14.177 --> 0:36:17.297
<v Speaker 1>have huge, huge cities all around the world with no

0:36:17.337 --> 0:36:17.817
<v Speaker 1>one in them.

0:36:17.937 --> 0:36:20.257
<v Speaker 2>Let's come back and dive into that in one second.

0:36:20.377 --> 0:36:24.777
<v Speaker 2>Let's talk about the declining birth rate globally, because my friends,

0:36:24.897 --> 0:36:26.937
<v Speaker 2>I got a good buddy who used to hate shaving,

0:36:27.297 --> 0:36:29.537
<v Speaker 2>and as you can see, I actually just started recently.

0:36:29.577 --> 0:36:31.017
<v Speaker 2>I got rid of the beard after god, I don't

0:36:31.017 --> 0:36:34.177
<v Speaker 2>know five or six years, but I'm one of those

0:36:34.217 --> 0:36:36.017
<v Speaker 2>guys now who wants to make sure that I'm getting

0:36:36.017 --> 0:36:38.937
<v Speaker 2>the best shave I possibly can, and I don't want

0:36:38.977 --> 0:36:41.497
<v Speaker 2>irritation and ingrown facial hair, all that kind of stuff.

0:36:41.977 --> 0:36:44.377
<v Speaker 2>So that's why you got to check out one blade shave.

0:36:44.977 --> 0:36:47.537
<v Speaker 2>It's all you need for a clean, comfortable shave, leaving

0:36:47.577 --> 0:36:50.737
<v Speaker 2>your face feeling great. One blade. Big razor companies have

0:36:50.777 --> 0:36:53.257
<v Speaker 2>been lined to you for decades saying more blades better.

0:36:53.297 --> 0:36:56.017
<v Speaker 2>That's because the blades are crap. They're low quality. You

0:36:56.097 --> 0:36:58.577
<v Speaker 2>want one blade that is super high quality because it

0:36:58.617 --> 0:37:01.057
<v Speaker 2>is better for your face, better for your skin. One

0:37:01.097 --> 0:37:03.657
<v Speaker 2>blade state of the Art award winning razor design makes

0:37:03.737 --> 0:37:07.337
<v Speaker 2>single edge shaving completely natural and effortless. These razors have

0:37:07.377 --> 0:37:09.937
<v Speaker 2>a patented pivoted head that hugs the skin and ensures

0:37:09.937 --> 0:37:12.617
<v Speaker 2>the blade is always at the correct angle. And one

0:37:12.657 --> 0:37:15.097
<v Speaker 2>Blade's handle is metal. It's not plastic. It's not some

0:37:15.217 --> 0:37:17.617
<v Speaker 2>cheap crap that comes from overseas. This stuff is weighty

0:37:17.657 --> 0:37:21.057
<v Speaker 2>and substantial and worthy of your face. To elevate your

0:37:21.057 --> 0:37:24.337
<v Speaker 2>shaving experience, get twenty percent off your one blade order

0:37:24.377 --> 0:37:28.337
<v Speaker 2>when you go right now to one bladeshave dot com

0:37:28.337 --> 0:37:33.097
<v Speaker 2>slash buck that's one spelled out o any one bladeshave

0:37:33.297 --> 0:37:35.377
<v Speaker 2>dot com slash buck. You'll get twenty percent off your

0:37:35.377 --> 0:37:38.337
<v Speaker 2>first order. There's the best raises you'll get absolutely anywhere, phenomenal.

0:37:38.337 --> 0:37:39.777
<v Speaker 2>I've had them for years and I'm now starting to

0:37:39.817 --> 0:37:42.537
<v Speaker 2>use them again now that I'm actually clean shaven, which

0:37:43.057 --> 0:37:46.177
<v Speaker 2>I had to get approval from the wife. Chris. Okay,

0:37:46.337 --> 0:37:49.257
<v Speaker 2>Actually funny story. We had a woman named Phyllis who

0:37:49.257 --> 0:37:51.977
<v Speaker 2>wrote into the radio show and she went on this

0:37:52.057 --> 0:37:54.697
<v Speaker 2>like little tirade about how I was much handsomer before

0:37:54.697 --> 0:37:58.337
<v Speaker 2>I had a beard, and I just everyone started laughing

0:37:58.337 --> 0:37:59.697
<v Speaker 2>at me on the crew and the radio show and

0:37:59.697 --> 0:38:01.817
<v Speaker 2>everything else. I was like, you know what, if the

0:38:01.817 --> 0:38:04.297
<v Speaker 2>wife says it, I'm We're gonna give Phyllis what she wants.

0:38:04.297 --> 0:38:06.297
<v Speaker 2>So now I'm a clean shaven man and some.

0:38:06.537 --> 0:38:09.337
<v Speaker 1>Your wife has veto power over your facial hah.

0:38:09.257 --> 0:38:11.137
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she has veta power of it, because come on,

0:38:11.177 --> 0:38:12.537
<v Speaker 2>I mean, who else is really you know what I

0:38:12.577 --> 0:38:15.937
<v Speaker 2>means is at four? Yeah? Yeah, exactly. It's like it's

0:38:15.937 --> 0:38:18.457
<v Speaker 2>all really matters, all right. So we were talking about

0:38:19.377 --> 0:38:22.777
<v Speaker 2>declining birth rates and I remember, I'm sure you've read it.

0:38:22.817 --> 0:38:27.017
<v Speaker 2>There was the Mark Stein book America Alone, I think

0:38:27.057 --> 0:38:30.417
<v Speaker 2>it was maybe came out fifteen years ago, and just

0:38:30.497 --> 0:38:33.617
<v Speaker 2>crunching the numbers, and it was basically, the West is

0:38:33.737 --> 0:38:36.577
<v Speaker 2>done over a long enough time frame, just based on

0:38:36.617 --> 0:38:40.977
<v Speaker 2>the declining birth rate except America, but now America is

0:38:40.977 --> 0:38:43.097
<v Speaker 2>actually heading the lawn trajectory too. Tell me what's going

0:38:43.137 --> 0:38:45.137
<v Speaker 2>on here with declining birth rates. We can start globally,

0:38:45.177 --> 0:38:47.377
<v Speaker 2>think would bring it home to the US.

0:38:47.057 --> 0:38:51.297
<v Speaker 1>Of a So seventy percent of people around the world

0:38:51.337 --> 0:38:53.017
<v Speaker 1>to live in a country which is below the birthrate

0:38:53.057 --> 0:38:56.657
<v Speaker 1>tipping point, which is two point one children per woman.

0:38:57.817 --> 0:39:01.217
<v Speaker 1>I don't know whether this is a something to be

0:39:01.337 --> 0:39:04.297
<v Speaker 1>happy about or not, but the worst places in the

0:39:04.297 --> 0:39:07.297
<v Speaker 1>world are currently in the East. So Korea. South Korea's

0:39:07.297 --> 0:39:10.777
<v Speaker 1>birthrate is not zero point eight point eight, which is

0:39:10.897 --> 0:39:15.217
<v Speaker 1>absolutely insane. Japan arod just over one one point two.

0:39:15.977 --> 0:39:18.897
<v Speaker 1>So let's say Japan's got aboute hundred and twenty million

0:39:19.057 --> 0:39:21.217
<v Speaker 1>people in it or so by twenty fifty that's going

0:39:21.257 --> 0:39:23.657
<v Speaker 1>to be sixty million, China one point two billion by

0:39:23.697 --> 0:39:27.137
<v Speaker 1>twenty fifty six hundred and fifty million. So it is

0:39:27.177 --> 0:39:30.777
<v Speaker 1>a precipitous decline, very very aggressive. When you get across

0:39:30.777 --> 0:39:33.777
<v Speaker 1>to the US, I think it's in the high ones

0:39:33.817 --> 0:39:36.217
<v Speaker 1>one point seven ish one point six, one point seven

0:39:36.257 --> 0:39:40.977
<v Speaker 1>one point eight. Not great. Now you can fix this

0:39:41.057 --> 0:39:47.537
<v Speaker 1>problem to a degree with immigration, but not massively because

0:39:47.617 --> 0:39:50.377
<v Speaker 1>even South American countries are having declining birth rates. So overall,

0:39:50.417 --> 0:39:52.497
<v Speaker 1>you can move bits of the pie around on the

0:39:52.497 --> 0:39:54.977
<v Speaker 1>world as much as you want, but the pie is

0:39:55.137 --> 0:39:59.217
<v Speaker 1>still continuing to get smaller. And it is very, very concerning.

0:39:59.417 --> 0:40:02.697
<v Speaker 2>Why aren't people having more babies in developed countries? And

0:40:02.777 --> 0:40:04.417
<v Speaker 2>you know, obviously we know in the third world that's

0:40:04.497 --> 0:40:04.937
<v Speaker 2>very different.

0:40:05.977 --> 0:40:08.897
<v Speaker 1>In the third world, they're declining as well, by one

0:40:09.497 --> 0:40:11.777
<v Speaker 1>child per every fifteen years. So let's say you go

0:40:11.777 --> 0:40:13.777
<v Speaker 1>to Ghana, you go to Chad somewhere like that, eight

0:40:14.097 --> 0:40:15.857
<v Speaker 1>and it's seven, then it's six, then it's five each

0:40:15.897 --> 0:40:18.657
<v Speaker 1>fifteen years. It's going down. It seems like as soon

0:40:18.817 --> 0:40:23.057
<v Speaker 1>as you industrialize country and you educate the women and

0:40:23.057 --> 0:40:26.377
<v Speaker 1>give them the opportunity to do other things, those other

0:40:26.537 --> 0:40:29.857
<v Speaker 1>life paths begin to compete with family life. And it's

0:40:29.977 --> 0:40:32.657
<v Speaker 1>not the interesting stat The most interesting stat around this

0:40:32.777 --> 0:40:36.897
<v Speaker 1>is the average number of children per mother hasn't changed.

0:40:37.337 --> 0:40:40.697
<v Speaker 1>It's the number of motherless women or childless women that

0:40:40.737 --> 0:40:43.337
<v Speaker 1>has increased. So if you have your first, it's likely

0:40:43.377 --> 0:40:44.897
<v Speaker 1>that you will go on to have a second, and

0:40:44.937 --> 0:40:47.297
<v Speaker 1>a third and so on and so forth. The large

0:40:47.337 --> 0:40:49.777
<v Speaker 1>difference is in the number of women who never starts

0:40:49.857 --> 0:40:55.257
<v Speaker 1>to have the first go ahead, go ahead, just that

0:40:55.257 --> 0:40:59.737
<v Speaker 1>that's that is the highest point of leverage. And it

0:40:59.817 --> 0:41:01.697
<v Speaker 1>seems that the most common reason, as we said before,

0:41:01.737 --> 0:41:04.177
<v Speaker 1>eight out of ten women broke through that fertility window

0:41:04.177 --> 0:41:06.377
<v Speaker 1>didn't intend to not have children. Most common reason is

0:41:06.737 --> 0:41:09.817
<v Speaker 1>life circumstance. Didn't find a partner within time because that

0:41:09.857 --> 0:41:14.777
<v Speaker 1>for windows been squeezed by a combination of education, employment,

0:41:14.897 --> 0:41:17.057
<v Speaker 1>and you could say, raising living costs, all that stuff

0:41:17.097 --> 0:41:18.617
<v Speaker 1>you know, might be getting in the way people feel

0:41:18.617 --> 0:41:22.497
<v Speaker 1>like they need a two income household. Absolutely potential, but.

0:41:23.977 --> 0:41:28.177
<v Speaker 2>O good. What do the numbers tell us about female

0:41:29.257 --> 0:41:33.777
<v Speaker 2>life satisfaction when it comes to pursuing family as the

0:41:33.777 --> 0:41:37.257
<v Speaker 2>first priority versus a career.

0:41:38.897 --> 0:41:43.497
<v Speaker 1>The current longest study of happiness is the Harvard Study

0:41:43.497 --> 0:41:45.817
<v Speaker 1>of Adult Development. It's been going for decades and decades

0:41:45.857 --> 0:41:47.657
<v Speaker 1>and decades, and they've studied the same people, and then

0:41:47.657 --> 0:41:52.177
<v Speaker 1>they've studied the children of these people. The strongest predictor

0:41:52.377 --> 0:41:55.097
<v Speaker 1>of your health outcomes in life, of your happiness, of

0:41:55.137 --> 0:41:59.657
<v Speaker 1>your resilience are your number of family, friend, and romantic partners.

0:42:00.137 --> 0:42:03.817
<v Speaker 1>That's it. It's relationships all the way down. Friends, family,

0:42:04.097 --> 0:42:08.257
<v Speaker 1>and romantic partner. That's what is the best predictor for everything,

0:42:08.337 --> 0:42:10.017
<v Speaker 1>every health outcome that you care to care about.

0:42:10.697 --> 0:42:13.937
<v Speaker 2>So that actually pivots us nicely into what I wanted

0:42:13.937 --> 0:42:15.337
<v Speaker 2>to ask you about as well, because I know that

0:42:15.497 --> 0:42:19.897
<v Speaker 2>one of the things you've done on Modern Wisdom podcasts

0:42:19.897 --> 0:42:23.617
<v Speaker 2>for everyone to check out is you've sat down with

0:42:23.657 --> 0:42:25.297
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people who are super high achievers and

0:42:25.337 --> 0:42:27.617
<v Speaker 2>also people who study super high achievers. And I listened

0:42:27.617 --> 0:42:30.337
<v Speaker 2>to your episode with David Senra Is that right? Isn't

0:42:30.337 --> 0:42:34.057
<v Speaker 2>my Getting his Name Right? Podcast? Yeah, founder's podcast I've

0:42:34.097 --> 0:42:35.817
<v Speaker 2>listened to, and I listened to you talk to him,

0:42:35.817 --> 0:42:38.617
<v Speaker 2>and then I listened to a number of Cenra's episodes.

0:42:38.657 --> 0:42:42.617
<v Speaker 2>I love the Enzo Ferrari and Yeah, but one thing,

0:42:42.817 --> 0:42:44.457
<v Speaker 2>and I know you've touched on this, and I just

0:42:44.537 --> 0:42:46.737
<v Speaker 2>wanted your your take, and I know you've discussed this

0:42:46.777 --> 0:42:49.777
<v Speaker 2>in on other forums, But because I think about this

0:42:49.817 --> 0:42:51.337
<v Speaker 2>all the time, and I think about this in the

0:42:51.337 --> 0:42:53.417
<v Speaker 2>people that I see around me. I mean, growing up

0:42:53.417 --> 0:42:56.337
<v Speaker 2>in New York City, I certainly saw and was around

0:42:56.337 --> 0:43:01.297
<v Speaker 2>people who were at that level of success where they

0:43:01.337 --> 0:43:04.617
<v Speaker 2>are famous, rich and powerful beyond the wildest dreams of

0:43:04.657 --> 0:43:06.457
<v Speaker 2>you know, ninety nine point nine nine nine percent of

0:43:06.457 --> 0:43:09.457
<v Speaker 2>the population, and some of them were deeply miserable with

0:43:09.737 --> 0:43:12.977
<v Speaker 2>her fit personal lives. And I was close enough to it.

0:43:12.977 --> 0:43:14.537
<v Speaker 2>I mean I would sometimes be in the you know,

0:43:14.537 --> 0:43:16.337
<v Speaker 2>I was like friends with the kids or the grandkids,

0:43:16.417 --> 0:43:18.537
<v Speaker 2>right Like I would be in the house with and

0:43:18.577 --> 0:43:22.457
<v Speaker 2>I'd say, Okay, well you got you know, you got

0:43:22.497 --> 0:43:25.057
<v Speaker 2>fifteen billion or whatever, and you've got a lot of properties,

0:43:25.097 --> 0:43:27.897
<v Speaker 2>but you're also on wife number four. Your kids hate

0:43:27.937 --> 0:43:31.497
<v Speaker 2>your guts, and you know you and you look like

0:43:31.577 --> 0:43:34.177
<v Speaker 2>you could keel over at any moment. You're only in

0:43:34.217 --> 0:43:36.697
<v Speaker 2>like your sixties or fifties or whatever. You get the idea,

0:43:37.657 --> 0:43:43.577
<v Speaker 2>is extreme excellence worth the trade off for most people. No.

0:43:44.457 --> 0:43:46.977
<v Speaker 1>In short, no, I don't think so. I think that

0:43:47.617 --> 0:43:49.817
<v Speaker 1>if you were to see the inner texture of most

0:43:49.857 --> 0:43:52.897
<v Speaker 1>of the people that you admire as minds, you would

0:43:52.977 --> 0:43:56.497
<v Speaker 1>feel far more pity than envy for them. That the

0:43:56.577 --> 0:44:00.137
<v Speaker 1>price that most people pay to be absolute top peak

0:44:00.217 --> 0:44:06.577
<v Speaker 1>flight achievers, it's unbearable. It's an unbelievably high cost. And

0:44:06.617 --> 0:44:09.377
<v Speaker 1>there was this really interesting study where they looked at

0:44:09.657 --> 0:44:14.817
<v Speaker 1>the the most common qualities that elite achievers had the

0:44:14.857 --> 0:44:19.057
<v Speaker 1>most successful people. What they had three things superiority complex,

0:44:19.857 --> 0:44:25.017
<v Speaker 1>crippling insecurity, and impulse control. Superiority complex you believe that

0:44:25.017 --> 0:44:27.457
<v Speaker 1>you can do more than other people. Crippling insecurity it

0:44:27.577 --> 0:44:30.217
<v Speaker 1>drives you to prove people wrong. And impulse control you

0:44:30.217 --> 0:44:32.417
<v Speaker 1>can focus yourself and move yourself forward. So what does

0:44:32.457 --> 0:44:34.497
<v Speaker 1>it mean that the people who we admire the most,

0:44:34.577 --> 0:44:37.177
<v Speaker 1>that society says are the most successful are the ones

0:44:37.217 --> 0:44:41.097
<v Speaker 1>who have the least admirable internal states? Probably means that

0:44:41.177 --> 0:44:42.857
<v Speaker 1>you need to work out from first principles what you

0:44:42.857 --> 0:44:44.897
<v Speaker 1>care about in life, and you need to go after

0:44:44.937 --> 0:44:47.497
<v Speaker 1>that as opposed to doing what you think other people

0:44:47.697 --> 0:44:50.977
<v Speaker 1>do for success, because the people that are the most successful,

0:44:51.017 --> 0:44:54.297
<v Speaker 1>I think, on average, are more miserable than the normal person.

0:44:55.377 --> 0:44:58.097
<v Speaker 2>Does seem that what was it the Greeks had? The concept?

0:44:58.177 --> 0:45:02.097
<v Speaker 2>Was it Metron? Like balance in all things? Yeah? Am

0:45:02.137 --> 0:45:04.177
<v Speaker 2>I crazy on that one? I don't know. I might

0:45:04.497 --> 0:45:05.417
<v Speaker 2>have paid something up.

0:45:06.057 --> 0:45:08.177
<v Speaker 1>Metron sounds like a sci fi show, but I'm down

0:45:08.177 --> 0:45:09.857
<v Speaker 1>for it. If you say it's legit.

0:45:10.217 --> 0:45:15.657
<v Speaker 2>I might have totally mean I might have just yeah, well,

0:45:15.697 --> 0:45:19.137
<v Speaker 2>hold on a moderation and good measure pan Metron addistan?

0:45:19.337 --> 0:45:22.297
<v Speaker 2>Is that right? There? We go? Yeah? All right, yeah,

0:45:22.337 --> 0:45:23.697
<v Speaker 2>so I was like kind of I was like in

0:45:23.737 --> 0:45:25.857
<v Speaker 2>the I was in the realm of this is what

0:45:25.937 --> 0:45:27.577
<v Speaker 2>have you? A podcast? You just say stuff out loud

0:45:27.617 --> 0:45:30.017
<v Speaker 2>as it comes into your brain. Right. It was like

0:45:30.097 --> 0:45:33.097
<v Speaker 2>part of the phrase which is balance in all things

0:45:33.177 --> 0:45:35.817
<v Speaker 2>or you know, everything in moderation metron iris on everything

0:45:35.817 --> 0:45:39.017
<v Speaker 2>in moderation. Okay, there we go. Now, I'm it did

0:45:39.097 --> 0:45:39.537
<v Speaker 2>sound like.

0:45:39.497 --> 0:45:42.697
<v Speaker 3>I had like a you know, a laser cannon instead

0:45:42.737 --> 0:45:44.217
<v Speaker 3>of a hen and I was like, you know, doing

0:45:44.257 --> 0:45:47.217
<v Speaker 3>somersaults around and shooting wizard people or something, but you know,

0:45:48.377 --> 0:45:49.657
<v Speaker 3>the same basic idea.

0:45:50.377 --> 0:45:52.257
<v Speaker 2>All right, man, Chris, I really appreciate you making the time.

0:45:52.257 --> 0:45:53.737
<v Speaker 2>I know you're super busy. Just I wanted to give

0:45:53.777 --> 0:45:56.417
<v Speaker 2>you this before you go. Everyone check out Modern Wizard podcast. Obviously,

0:45:56.457 --> 0:45:57.857
<v Speaker 2>as you can tell, I've listened to a whole bunch

0:45:57.897 --> 0:45:59.977
<v Speaker 2>of episodes myself. That's why I want to have Chris

0:46:00.057 --> 0:46:03.857
<v Speaker 2>on and what is you know, we've talked about some

0:46:03.937 --> 0:46:05.697
<v Speaker 2>things that are a little little bit of of a bummer,

0:46:05.977 --> 0:46:09.097
<v Speaker 2>you could say, like the decline and possible collapse of

0:46:09.097 --> 0:46:11.977
<v Speaker 2>the human specie, the destruction of masculinity, a bunch of

0:46:12.057 --> 0:46:14.577
<v Speaker 2>things female mental health, Like there are some look when

0:46:14.657 --> 0:46:16.417
<v Speaker 2>you spend time thinking about things, it should be about

0:46:16.497 --> 0:46:18.497
<v Speaker 2>challenges and whereas you can fix it, which we've done

0:46:18.497 --> 0:46:21.817
<v Speaker 2>a little bit of. What is though the most if

0:46:21.857 --> 0:46:23.777
<v Speaker 2>you're just trying to tell people about something that you

0:46:23.777 --> 0:46:26.857
<v Speaker 2>have found from your work or from your reflection on

0:46:27.257 --> 0:46:31.057
<v Speaker 2>all things recently, that makes you hopeful.

0:46:32.377 --> 0:46:35.977
<v Speaker 1>Pretty much everybody that's listening to this has spent time

0:46:36.217 --> 0:46:41.777
<v Speaker 1>imagining just how catastrophic some scenario could occur right laid

0:46:41.777 --> 0:46:45.497
<v Speaker 1>awake at night, worrying, neurotic thought loops, unable to sleep,

0:46:45.697 --> 0:46:48.337
<v Speaker 1>unable to relax. And yet every single person that is

0:46:48.377 --> 0:46:50.737
<v Speaker 1>sat here listening to us right now has got through

0:46:50.817 --> 0:46:53.537
<v Speaker 1>whatever challenge they faced. As far as I can see,

0:46:54.257 --> 0:46:57.897
<v Speaker 1>everybody is way, way, way more capable, infinitely more capable

0:46:57.897 --> 0:46:59.777
<v Speaker 1>of dealing whatever life can throw at them than their

0:46:59.817 --> 0:47:02.257
<v Speaker 1>mind predicts that they can be. And yet each time

0:47:02.257 --> 0:47:04.497
<v Speaker 1>that we face a challenge, we believe that we're not

0:47:04.497 --> 0:47:06.057
<v Speaker 1>going to be able to overcome it. You think we'll

0:47:06.097 --> 0:47:08.657
<v Speaker 1>hang in a second. I have a stack of undeniable

0:47:08.697 --> 0:47:11.937
<v Speaker 1>proof behind me, every single thing that I've come up against.

0:47:11.977 --> 0:47:14.257
<v Speaker 1>I'm here, I virtue of being here. I've got through it.

0:47:14.897 --> 0:47:19.257
<v Speaker 1>So I think that resilience is proved one day at

0:47:19.257 --> 0:47:21.457
<v Speaker 1>a time, and every single person that is sat here

0:47:21.497 --> 0:47:24.297
<v Speaker 1>listening to this has that resilience. They have a stack

0:47:24.297 --> 0:47:26.457
<v Speaker 1>of undeniable proof that they can get through whatever the

0:47:26.457 --> 0:47:28.417
<v Speaker 1>world faces and throws at them.

0:47:28.497 --> 0:47:33.377
<v Speaker 2>So there reason why everybody to read Shackleton Endurance, which

0:47:33.417 --> 0:47:35.457
<v Speaker 2>is my favorite book that has been for a long time.

0:47:35.577 --> 0:47:40.017
<v Speaker 1>Alfred, Oh my god, dude, phenomenal. Let me give you

0:47:40.097 --> 0:47:41.097
<v Speaker 1>a suggestion before I go.

0:47:41.377 --> 0:47:41.577
<v Speaker 2>Sure.

0:47:41.657 --> 0:47:47.697
<v Speaker 1>The Forgotten Highlander by Alistair Urkhart Gentlemen is kidnapped by

0:47:47.777 --> 0:47:50.497
<v Speaker 1>the Japanese in World War Two in Singapore, tortured for

0:47:50.537 --> 0:47:52.617
<v Speaker 1>five years, builds the bridge over the river Quai, gets

0:47:52.657 --> 0:47:55.257
<v Speaker 1>knocked off his feet by the bomb blast from Nagasaki,

0:47:55.417 --> 0:47:57.897
<v Speaker 1>survives it all and then stays silent for fifty years

0:47:57.937 --> 0:48:00.417
<v Speaker 1>because of the British government, and writes a memoir calling

0:48:00.457 --> 0:48:03.937
<v Speaker 1>the Japanese to account. The Forgotten Highlander. Alistair Urkhart amazing

0:48:03.977 --> 0:48:04.217
<v Speaker 1>by it.

0:48:04.257 --> 0:48:06.537
<v Speaker 2>As soon as we're done, Chris Williamson, man, thank you

0:48:06.577 --> 0:48:09.297
<v Speaker 2>so much, and please come on. We have a radio

0:48:09.337 --> 0:48:11.057
<v Speaker 2>show that you should have. I mean, this is the podcast.

0:48:11.057 --> 0:48:13.457
<v Speaker 2>The radio show is about five hundred stations, so it's

0:48:13.577 --> 0:48:15.857
<v Speaker 2>technically the biggest radio show in the country. We would

0:48:15.857 --> 0:48:17.697
<v Speaker 2>love to have you on. So just let us know

0:48:18.177 --> 0:48:20.017
<v Speaker 2>a play in Buck. We'll get it going. Man, A

0:48:20.017 --> 0:48:22.537
<v Speaker 2>lot of interesting stuff I want. I want the conservative

0:48:22.577 --> 0:48:24.017
<v Speaker 2>audience to hear more of your I know a lot

0:48:24.017 --> 0:48:25.257
<v Speaker 2>of them listen to you, but you know I want

0:48:25.697 --> 0:48:27.617
<v Speaker 2>even more of them too. So thank you so much, man,

0:48:27.657 --> 0:48:28.537
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for making the time.

0:48:29.137 --> 0:48:30.417
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate you. Thank you, man.