Speaker 1: Maybe that's Lisa, and we're just two girls that want
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with you. Dear sixteen year old Andrea,
Speaker 1: Hey gorgeous, Dear younger Lauren. Each episode is stories from people.
Speaker 1: I would deprive myself by myself obsessively because I was
Speaker 1: eating healthy. I couldn't understand that I had a problem
Speaker 1: with food. Losing my period scared me the most. My
Speaker 1: story starts when I was around seven. That's when I
Speaker 1: started to hate my body. Body image is like our
Speaker 1: inner picture of our outer self. Healthy behaviors have a
Speaker 1: much bigger role at all health than the actual number
Speaker 1: on the scales. Internal dialogue can be so powerful and
Speaker 1: often it's super negative and critical in a way that
Speaker 1: we wouldn't talk to other people that we care about.
Speaker 1: When you start to share your story, that gives other
Speaker 1: people the courage to share theirs. I know you would
Speaker 1: be proud now of how far you have come in
Speaker 1: your relationship to food, exercise, and to yourself. I felt freedom,
Speaker 1: I've gained relationships. I've found my true sense of self worth.
Speaker 1: There's one thing I need you to take away. You're
Speaker 1: going to be okay, okay, I'm smiling ear to ear
Speaker 1: as we start this because Lisa and I are here,
Speaker 1: I'm Amy. In case you're new, well this is this
Speaker 1: is a brand new podcast, but sort of not. And
Speaker 1: then Lisa is Lisa Engage you're new, but we are
Speaker 1: beyond excited to say that Outweigh is now its own podcast.
Speaker 1: So Outweighed started as a four part series and my
Speaker 1: other podcasts that I do called Four Things with Amy
Speaker 1: Brown and Lisa has been a guest on their multiple times.
Speaker 1: Then we co hosted out Way together and we wouldn't
Speaker 1: you know, now we've got our own podcast. So there's
Speaker 1: going to be a new episode every Saturday that you
Speaker 1: have to look forward to. We were originally planning on
Speaker 1: doing season two, and then the feedback we received and
Speaker 1: just a couple of other amazing things that all came
Speaker 1: together and happened allowed us to produce this podcast. And
Speaker 1: now we're going to be giving you content on Saturdays
Speaker 1: which will include either just Lisa and I talking about
Speaker 1: something that hopefully will be encouraging and inspiring and help
Speaker 1: you not feel alone with whatever you're going through when
Speaker 1: it comes to food or exercise or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: And then we'll also have guests on and sometimes I
Speaker 1: might be just interviewing the guest, sometimes Lisa maybe the
Speaker 1: only with the guest, or sometimes will be together. We're
Speaker 1: really a team. This is a passion project of ours
Speaker 1: and we're just gonna do whatever we have to do
Speaker 1: to make it happen. Yeah, I mean, I'm also ear
Speaker 1: to ear right now. And it has been so cool
Speaker 1: to learn and meet the Outweigh fam on Instagram, because
Speaker 1: there's no person that listened to one episode of Outweigh
Speaker 1: like you were either have no idea what Outweigh is
Speaker 1: or you were in it to win it with our
Speaker 1: four jam packed with information episodes, so that is what
Speaker 1: propelled us back here for what we thought would be
Speaker 1: season two, but what we planned to be an ongoing
Speaker 1: weekly resource for you to continue to learn that a
Speaker 1: life without needing disorder or disordered eating outweighs everything else.
Speaker 1: So welcome back you guys. That's the tagline, A life
Speaker 1: without disordered eating outweighs everything, and we truly believe that.
Speaker 1: But just know that we're two girls on the journey
Speaker 1: with you, and I think even for this first episode,
Speaker 1: we kind of wanted to get into that and even
Speaker 1: some of my story and where I was when we
Speaker 1: recorded this in March of depending on when you're listening
Speaker 1: to this now, that's when we recorded Outweigh for the
Speaker 1: Four Things podcast, and then it aired in April, and
Speaker 1: I was fresh off of my Fitness Pal, like literally
Speaker 1: probably right before we recorded, and I almost used the
Speaker 1: recording as a Okay, I'm about to start co hosting
Speaker 1: a special series on disordered eating. And I didn't realize
Speaker 1: that using my Fitness Pal was a disordered behavior. I
Speaker 1: thought it was helping me because I no longer was
Speaker 1: binging and I no longer was purging, So why is
Speaker 1: it that big of a deal that I was having
Speaker 1: the tool that was helped giving me structure to my day?
Speaker 1: But what I didn't realize is how into it I
Speaker 1: was and how dependent I was on it, and how
Speaker 1: I would spend twenty minutes trying to enter in the
Speaker 1: waffle that I made from scratch. There was four servings
Speaker 1: and I only ate one. So really, was that an
Speaker 1: eighth of an egg or a whole egg or how many?
Speaker 1: You know? Because my fitness Pal is very detailed, and
Speaker 1: my friend and I were on a walk the other
Speaker 1: day talking about it, and she said, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: used to enter in the sprinkle of salt that I
Speaker 1: would have because she was tracking her sodium. And I
Speaker 1: get it if you have certain things going on with
Speaker 1: your body where you may need to actually track your sodium.
Speaker 1: That's not what we're saying. We're speaking to people like
Speaker 1: myself who were doing it just to control every single
Speaker 1: little thing that went in my body so that I
Speaker 1: did not exceed X amount of protein and X amount
Speaker 1: of calories for the day. But what it was doing
Speaker 1: is it was such a mind suck like it was
Speaker 1: sucking and an energy suck like. It was taking up
Speaker 1: so much space in my mind. It was taking up
Speaker 1: so much time in my day, and Outweigh helped me
Speaker 1: get rid of it. But it didn't just happen like that.
Speaker 1: And I think Lisa and you can speak to this too.
Speaker 1: We would encourage you, if you haven't listened to that
Speaker 1: first four part series to go back and do it,
Speaker 1: or if you have listened to it and things didn't
Speaker 1: just boom change right away for you. Everyone is on
Speaker 1: their own journey and it is going to take time,
Speaker 1: and it's going to take work. And if you slide
Speaker 1: into different patterns that you later realize are healthy for you,
Speaker 1: that's Okay, I was all over the place, but it
Speaker 1: was part of my journey to get me to where
Speaker 1: I am today. Yeah, And if you're listening and you're like,
Speaker 1: why is my fitness pell bad or why is it
Speaker 1: considered disordered or calorie counting? Essentially why it's classified under
Speaker 1: that category of disordered is because you are not allowing
Speaker 1: your body to lead. You are living with external rules
Speaker 1: about what, how much, and maybe even when to eat.
Speaker 1: So whenever we are silencing the body's desires and holding
Speaker 1: onto these external crutches in terms of quantity and so forth,
Speaker 1: that is where things can get a little bit messy. Now,
Speaker 1: perhaps not everybody who uses my fitness Pal falls in
Speaker 1: the disordered eating category, but given Amy's history and you know,
Speaker 1: I certainly by the let me actually say this, this
Speaker 1: might be kind of interesting for you guys. When I
Speaker 1: was in grad school, we were taught to use my
Speaker 1: fitness Pal to help people make informed choices. So, like,
Speaker 1: take a moment to kind of let that seep in
Speaker 1: as to how normalized this behavior is. I didn't go
Speaker 1: to grad school to learn how to enable people to
Speaker 1: be disordered with food. I went to grad school to
Speaker 1: learn about nutrition and how to empower people. But so
Speaker 1: many of the behaviors that we've been partaking in have
Speaker 1: been normalized for a long time, so much so that
Speaker 1: my education continued to drill it in me that humans
Speaker 1: can't be trusted around food. Therefore they need to be
Speaker 1: meticulous with their counting and tracking if they want to
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And so I think that it's only
Speaker 1: when you realize that the body is magnificent in helping
Speaker 1: guide us into what, how much, etcetera, does that really
Speaker 1: shift and you realize how kind of silly the things
Speaker 1: we do are, not because they're silly themselves, but because,
Speaker 1: like Amy, like you said, like your life was just
Speaker 1: eaten up by figuring out how to get one eighth
Speaker 1: of an egg into my fitness Pal. And what that
Speaker 1: does is it keeps you small, It occupies your brain.
Speaker 1: It takes away from you know, being the best mom
Speaker 1: to Stevenston ins to share. Maybe I'm just using that
Speaker 1: as an example. I know for me, it took away
Speaker 1: from being a present girlfriend at the time or a
Speaker 1: friend to anybody else, because I was kind of just
Speaker 1: obsessed with whatever was going on in my world and
Speaker 1: nothing else mattered other than figuring out how much I
Speaker 1: ate that day, because that was my perceived sense of
Speaker 1: control and all. Second, what you said, Lisad not doesn't
Speaker 1: mean if you're listening to this right now and if
Speaker 1: you're getting defensive of your use of whatever tool it
Speaker 1: is that you use, I would take a second to
Speaker 1: do some reflection on what role does it play in
Speaker 1: your life? Maybe you have an okay relationship with that.
Speaker 1: I did not so, and that was something I thought
Speaker 1: I did, and I thought because I wasn't partaking in
Speaker 1: other disordered habits or eating disordered behaviors that I had
Speaker 1: done in the past, it was fine. And so for me,
Speaker 1: it took a while for it to show up as
Speaker 1: a problem for me, and then letting go of it
Speaker 1: was extremely difficult. And that's when I knew how much
Speaker 1: power it had on me. Was the weeks after I
Speaker 1: had let it go, how I would still lay in
Speaker 1: bed at night or wake up in the morning freaking
Speaker 1: out about how was I going to know what I
Speaker 1: was supposed to eat? And I would text Lisa, are
Speaker 1: you sure I can't just enter something in today because
Speaker 1: it would really help me know because I'm only supposed
Speaker 1: to have this much protein or I need to have.
Speaker 1: I need to have this much protein, more protein than
Speaker 1: I've ever consumed in my life. But I wanted to
Speaker 1: make sure I was lifting weights and that I was
Speaker 1: going to look a certain way. But it helps you
Speaker 1: let go of all of that, and I had to
Speaker 1: let go with Yeah, I'm not going to be as
Speaker 1: tight as I was because of this, but that's okay.
Speaker 1: I would rather have softness and more brain space and
Speaker 1: more time for things in life that matter than have
Speaker 1: whatever I was after. You know, we're all about tools
Speaker 1: and helping you use tools. And I just heard three
Speaker 1: words you said that I think we can all flag
Speaker 1: as checking with our self. Words like not necessarily there
Speaker 1: no no three you're catching them yourself, but for the
Speaker 1: listener and even for myself, like it's we're we need
Speaker 1: to all always be checking in with ourselves, never getting
Speaker 1: too comfortable, and always saying, oh, what's that about? What's
Speaker 1: that about? What's really underlying that? So the three words
Speaker 1: that you said our need like I need to be
Speaker 1: doing that or a certain way, I need to look
Speaker 1: a certain way, or I'm supposed to be doing like
Speaker 1: these are just words that we made up and they
Speaker 1: don't exist. So whenever we say oh, I need to
Speaker 1: do this, or to look a certain way, or I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be eating this. Like let's all outweigh fam Like,
Speaker 1: let's flag those words and use them not to say,
Speaker 1: you know, hit your wrist and say shame on you.
Speaker 1: That's that's not the approach that I ever take with
Speaker 1: any sort of self work, but rather let that light
Speaker 1: bulb go off as to something inside is really desperate
Speaker 1: for a sense of control, and peel that back and say,
Speaker 1: why why do I feel like I need this pretend
Speaker 1: fake control? Because that's that's what it is. It's not
Speaker 1: actual control. Because you know, Amy, when you were on
Speaker 1: my fitness Pal and you're again trying to calculate that egg,
Speaker 1: like that sounds like captivity, not control. Right, I would
Speaker 1: say I wasn't as shackled as I was with my
Speaker 1: other habits, but I had moved maybe too just for
Speaker 1: a visual like shackles on both my hands and both
Speaker 1: my legs for so long. Um, maybe I just had
Speaker 1: moved to maybe the shackles are off my feet, but
Speaker 1: I still had one hand shack that's really powerful actually,
Speaker 1: and the behaviors themselves are not as dangerous or harmful, right,
Speaker 1: you know, We know that Amy had a history of
Speaker 1: you know, purging and some other things. And I think
Speaker 1: that I see this a lot. By the way, people
Speaker 1: who have had eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia find
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put in quotes here freedom and please if
Speaker 1: you're in this stage, like know that that is a
Speaker 1: beautiful place to be as long as we continue to grow.
Speaker 1: They find quote unquote freedom when they find a diet
Speaker 1: plan that gives that one shackle, you know, because then
Speaker 1: they're eating. Right, you were eating with with the macro tracking,
Speaker 1: but you were mental consumed by it, but you were
Speaker 1: eating and you weren't purging, and so in the absence
Speaker 1: of purging, right, like, are you fine? And that's the
Speaker 1: question to really ask, am I find now that I'm
Speaker 1: not doing this obvious you know, dangerous for my health,
Speaker 1: mental well being, behavior? And it's okay to take off
Speaker 1: one shackle at a time as long as you continue
Speaker 1: to acknowledge that there is one shackle and each day
Speaker 1: you put work into unlock that a little bit. Does
Speaker 1: that make a little sense, It totally does. I think
Speaker 1: our goal with since this is are intro to this
Speaker 1: new podcast, is when you listen to this, hopefully you
Speaker 1: will find the encouragement to remove the shackle. Now, not
Speaker 1: every episode will relate to you, not every guest may
Speaker 1: relate to you, but I encourage you to listen to
Speaker 1: as much as possible, or find other similar things. You
Speaker 1: can listen to, books, you can read, Instagram accounts you
Speaker 1: can follow that are going to be a constant re
Speaker 1: all of this conversation. Because when you're following other accounts,
Speaker 1: or reading other books, or maybe even following a diet
Speaker 1: plan that are feeding you opposing information, You're going to
Speaker 1: feel stuck. And I'm not saying Lisa and I are
Speaker 1: the end. I'll be all you need to listen to
Speaker 1: every episode of this podcast, not at all, but I'm
Speaker 1: saying we hope to be a safe space where you
Speaker 1: won't feel triggered. We're trying to be very mindful of that.
Speaker 1: And also, just with that said, some episodes or all
Speaker 1: of them maybe a trigger warning. I mean, Lisa, you
Speaker 1: can probably speak to that a little bit more, and
Speaker 1: I want you to. I think what's a little bit
Speaker 1: different than us versus a you know, eating disorder Recovery
Speaker 1: podcast is that we want people to tell their stories
Speaker 1: so that somebody who thinks that they're alone in this
Speaker 1: situation can find some hope. So we're a going to
Speaker 1: put trigger warnings on, but we're not gonna, you know,
Speaker 1: filter people from telling their stories. That being said, you know,
Speaker 1: the show notes will be a place where we tell
Speaker 1: you what the episode is about as well as put
Speaker 1: important content warnings on. But I know that from you all,
Speaker 1: we have had amazing feedback as to what you want,
Speaker 1: and the guests that we have lined up so far
Speaker 1: feed into that, from how to feed your child so
Speaker 1: and and developed children and kids that have healthy relationships
Speaker 1: to food, to going through pregnancy and changing bodies too.
Speaker 1: I actually don't look like you Lisa and Amy and
Speaker 1: I have an eating disorder or disordered eating. Can you
Speaker 1: have people on that tell that side that eating disorders
Speaker 1: don't just live in you know, traditionally thin bodies. From
Speaker 1: everything that you've told us, we are taking back and
Speaker 1: turning it into a guest or an expert, and we
Speaker 1: hope to continue to hear from you as to what
Speaker 1: you want to hear. So I do want to let
Speaker 1: you know we have a new email address and it's
Speaker 1: hello at Outweighed podcast dot com, and that can be
Speaker 1: the place where you let us know what's going on,
Speaker 1: who you want to hear from, what type of guests,
Speaker 1: And we're doing this for the Outweigh family, and so
Speaker 1: it's dependent on your needs completely, And I would say
Speaker 1: to sending those types of emails are wonderful, But if
Speaker 1: you want to send in your story or you feel
Speaker 1: like you're ready to share your story with the Outweigh family,
Speaker 1: we have an opportunity to give you that. Now, that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean every single email we get is going to
Speaker 1: be featured on the podcast, just to make that clear.
Speaker 1: But you know, maybe you're ready to share your story
Speaker 1: and maybe it ends up being here, or maybe it
Speaker 1: ends up being in your circle of friends or you
Speaker 1: have in your nook of the world. How can you
Speaker 1: make a difference with your story? And we want to
Speaker 1: hear from you because I think there's power in everyday
Speaker 1: people having a voice and sharing what they've been through
Speaker 1: and then people hearing everyday people and be like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: likely she said. We don't want you to feel alone.
Speaker 1: And so there's all kinds of people going through this.
Speaker 1: We plan on having diverse guests at least to just
Speaker 1: speak to privilege quickly to of where you and I
Speaker 1: are coming from that. It's not lost on us, and
Speaker 1: we just want to make sure everybody feels included here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean, I think you're referring to just like
Speaker 1: our thin bodies and our thin privilege. Despite what we've
Speaker 1: gone through with eating disorders and disordered eating, we still
Speaker 1: live and occupy bodies that are very socially accepted. And
Speaker 1: we don't just want to have guests on that look
Speaker 1: like us. We want to have guests on that look
Speaker 1: like everybody who lives in I'll just say our country
Speaker 1: or this world, this planet, because the more we hear
Speaker 1: about the human experience, the less alone we feel, the
Speaker 1: more we can help each other, and the more we
Speaker 1: can stop to no longer normalize so many behaviors that
Speaker 1: have been normalized in the pursuit of looking one way.
Speaker 1: There's no one way to look, there's no one way
Speaker 1: to be healthy, and it's so important that everybody finds
Speaker 1: their own empowerment and strength from within. And I'll say
Speaker 1: society has told us that there is one way to look,
Speaker 1: and I have fallen captive to that, and especially depending
Speaker 1: on maybe what you do for a living, or who
Speaker 1: you surround yourselves with or pressures you have on you.
Speaker 1: They can come from all different places the pressure, but
Speaker 1: society as a whole says, and it's said for for
Speaker 1: years and years and years, this is what you should
Speaker 1: try to look like. And that's what we want to
Speaker 1: undo here as well. We want to be part of
Speaker 1: that conversation of no, actually you don't have to look
Speaker 1: like that, and whoever's telling you you you should, let's
Speaker 1: start silencing that. And it's hard because again, when it's
Speaker 1: society telling you that, I go back to I think
Speaker 1: I even mentioned this that way, but I always hear
Speaker 1: Demi Lovado in my head talking about her pressure from
Speaker 1: her her She's in a world and I'm not even
Speaker 1: the biggest Demi Lavado fan that this is such a
Speaker 1: go to for me. It just hit me when one
Speaker 1: day she said, I mean, why am I killing myself
Speaker 1: at the gym three times a day? She's going to
Speaker 1: the gym three times a day and doing other unhealthy
Speaker 1: habits all to be in a leotard on stage, to
Speaker 1: look a certain way, because that is what society, id
Speaker 1: or her world was saying. You need to look like
Speaker 1: this pop star. This is how pop pop stars look like,
Speaker 1: and you should be in this tiny lids heart and
Speaker 1: it's like, no, who says that? And then if she
Speaker 1: wants to be in a lidschard and she doesn't look
Speaker 1: like x y Z pop stars, who cares? That's her body?
Speaker 1: All of our bodies are built so differently, and that's
Speaker 1: what we need to I love this. Normalize has been
Speaker 1: a new word for me in and we need to
Speaker 1: normalize that. It's okay we all look different. That bodies change, right,
Speaker 1: Like so many people are kind of stuck on going
Speaker 1: back to their high school weight, or their college wade,
Speaker 1: or their early twenties or even their early thirties depending
Speaker 1: you know. I know, we get all all types of
Speaker 1: listeners here. And the best way to continue to be healthy,
Speaker 1: to support our bodies and give them what they need
Speaker 1: is to recognize that body shapes and sizes change over
Speaker 1: time over the life cycle, especially as women whose bodies
Speaker 1: you know, go through different things in order to carry life,
Speaker 1: and again, in order to continue to nourish them and
Speaker 1: show up for them and give them what we need,
Speaker 1: we need to understand that they do fluctuate and they're
Speaker 1: not static. And Amy, you said something that I thought
Speaker 1: was really beautiful just about like your body being softer
Speaker 1: a few moments ago. Yes, so I struggle with mental health.
Speaker 1: It's always an ongoing fight. It's been a good couple
Speaker 1: of years, for sure, and I'm really grateful for that.
Speaker 1: But for whatever reason, mornings are really tough for me.
Speaker 1: I just wake up and I even if it's the
Speaker 1: best day, like we're about to record and I have
Speaker 1: so many amazing things planned, I just struggle. I struggle
Speaker 1: to get out of bed. And what I've been doing
Speaker 1: these last few days, and this was actually a follower
Speaker 1: recommended that I do. This is she said. She puts
Speaker 1: her hand on her chest, on her heart and says,
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you, I love you, and
Speaker 1: she says it softens her. And so I've been putting
Speaker 1: my right hand on my heart and my left hand
Speaker 1: on my belly and noticing that my belly feels softer,
Speaker 1: and that the first thing that I don't do when
Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning is run to the
Speaker 1: mirror to check if my exercise regiment is working hard
Speaker 1: enough and my abs are there, and you know, pulling
Speaker 1: out whatever is there, as I did in my early twenties.
Speaker 1: It's been a really nice way to wake up, really
Speaker 1: softly and send a little message to myself. So I
Speaker 1: encourage everybody to lean into the places of their body
Speaker 1: that they think are so quote unquote awful or unlovable,
Speaker 1: whether it's your legs, your arms, your neck, your belly,
Speaker 1: and place your hands there and send some of your
Speaker 1: own love inward, even even big, big, big, even here
Speaker 1: if it feels forced right now and it feels uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to share that little tip of
Speaker 1: anybody else struggles or is just looking for a nice
Speaker 1: way to get out of bed in the morning. Awesome.
Speaker 1: I think that's a great place to leave people with
Speaker 1: our first episode and just kind of what you can
Speaker 1: expect from this podcast. And thank you Lisa for sharing that.
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, it may seem forced at first,
Speaker 1: but it could evolve into something that your body really
Speaker 1: appreciates in your mind and will just become second nature.
Speaker 1: We all need to be loving all the parts all
Speaker 1: the time, and I think that we know that our
Speaker 1: mind is so powerful, and when that becomes your mantra
Speaker 1: of I love you arms, I love you legs. Thank
Speaker 1: you for giving me the ability to walk and move
Speaker 1: when I need to, and thank you stomach for carrying
Speaker 1: my two children. Thank you arms for allowing me to
Speaker 1: hug people when there's not coronavirus. Okay, well, thank you
Speaker 1: stomach for helping me digest food, and arms for helping
Speaker 1: me grab a pencil. And you know, even the most
Speaker 1: basic of things. Our bodies do for us. And I
Speaker 1: think when we love ourselves, so we don't that's not
Speaker 1: the end goal. The end goal is we we love others,
Speaker 1: were able to open our hearts to others when we're
Speaker 1: more able to open our hearts to ourselves, and that
Speaker 1: enriches life. I'm not going to say it's the ticket
Speaker 1: to happiness, because you know, happiness, what is happiness, But
Speaker 1: our lives can be enriched by small interactions with ourselves
Speaker 1: and others, and those little bits of life improvements are
Speaker 1: what make living worth it awesome. Well, thank you listeners
Speaker 1: for joining us. If you're here for episode one, you're
Speaker 1: probably already part of the Otway fam. If you are
Speaker 1: brand new, welcome, and Lisa shared with you our email.
Speaker 1: We would love to hear from you hello at Outweigh
Speaker 1: podcast dot com. So we look forward to this journey,
Speaker 1: this podcast and seeing wherever it takes us. See you guys,
Speaker 1: soon