WEBVTT - This is What I Think about Men 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:09.240 That this is your host and you're listening to exactly 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:13.840 a lot of production of my Heart Radios sols, and 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.720 I can see I am here with my co host. 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:21.440 It's stary known as well. We have a good one 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:26.720 for you guys today. Okay, let's talk about Lawsomber. It's 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:29.760 all I love it. Well, I mean that ladies, listen up. 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:34.040 Do we really know what men want? Some boys, not 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:36.960 men don't know how to communicate very well and think 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:41.400 that you're just supposed to like automatically know what they're thinking. 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:45.040 But do we because I surely don't. That's why I'm 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:47.560 still single, trying to figure it out. So let's break 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:50.440 it down. Let's break down the stereotypes of how men 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:55.080 behave Stevie. Let's start with and sex song I want 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:59.560 and sex creak or stro so because me that movies, 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.760 TV and pop culture paint this picture that all men 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:05.800 just want sex all the time and their hormones me 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:10.560 and I wanted to be out of control. I'll say, 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.200 here's what I'm trying to save men. I have been 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:15.720 trying to communicate to women for the longest time what 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:19.160 they want out of women and women we continue to 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:22.520 think that we know what men want, and we do 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:26.000 what we think that we are expected to do as women. 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:29.319 But do we really know what men are looking for 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:32.319 in a woman? For example? Um, you know that there's 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:36.240 this stereotype that men always want sex. Is it true 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.040 that men really always just want sex? Or do men 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.880 also have the different type of needs divine not like? Well, 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:45.800 I think sex is very important. I think that as 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:49.760 a man, sex is a big part of the relationship 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:53.440 because you know, you keep me happy and just like 0:01:53.680 --> 0:02:01.400 a woman, happy wife, happy life, and you're good. I 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.680 feel like there's a lot of women that are unaware 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:05.880 of women want and they feel that we also are 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:08.680 so busy trying to compete with one another, started competing 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:12.160 between women. Okay, that's maybe not what men really want. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.600 For the hand blow, I've heard it many times in 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:17.440 many occasions. Gay, I only don't care if you wear 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:20.240 tons of makeup and we're over here splashing our whole 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:21.960 faces for the makeup. They can trying to look good, 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:24.000 But who are we looking good for? I mean, obviously 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:25.840 we're trying to look good for ourselves, but are we 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.640 trying to look good for the other women or for ourselves? 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:35.120 Some men know, whatever you have stretch marks or whatever, 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:38.920 and that maybe just us being so conscious, but we 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:41.440 think that this is what men want. While we posted 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:44.560 on exactly amount of the questions fired to this episode, 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.280 and a lot of the men were saying what they 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:49.119 want women to do is kind of let them play 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:51.280 their games when they're playing the games, and just don't 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:54.359 interrupt them when they're playing their PlayStation and stuff like that, 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:56.160 and I feel like it does get over a women. 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:59.239 Men do need their man cave, men do need their 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:02.520 spaces as well as woman. But a lot of women 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:04.960 be like I, it's more like he he plays with 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:06.680 that thing more than he plays with me, you know. 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.600 But sometimes guys don't know how to have that balance, 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:11.640 like when you come home from work and you've been 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:15.920 out all day that you love me, that you can 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:18.880 lie to me, but don't just come home and then 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.880 be stuck playing Lintendo video games whatever it is that 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:24.920 you guys play. Now. So I get that part, I 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.160 mean I totally get that part. But is that stereo 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:29.560 type that men just want sex? Is that really like 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:32.560 a thing? Like do men want more sex and women 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.000 or have the roles changed already? And women are very 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:38.920 like sexual A man sees a woman and the attraction 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:41.920 is there is isn't it an attraction first? And you 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:44.960 see this person? I think it does have a lot 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:48.840 to do with sex and now, being attracted to someone 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.800 and sex are two different things. Yes, you can be 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:53.920 attracted to someone, but it doesn't mean that you want 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.040 to be that. The moment you wake up. You could 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:59.640 be not attracted to someone and put a bag over 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.160 their head and pass that to them. Still, why don't 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:04.480 I get it? We have sexually? I think the women 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:08.080 have different drives. Battle I did it. Well, let's happen 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:10.720 exactly about a moment? Where do you think men want? 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:12.480 But No, I don't know. I'm still trying to figure 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:14.280 it out. That's what I'm still single. I don't know. 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.880 I feel that men want. This is gonna sound terrible, 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:18.880 but I almost feel like men want a mom. They 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:22.160 want another version of their mom that's attractive and someone 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:24.839 they can smash. You want it to be nurturing, caring 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:27.560 and get go seeing it to a cook, to do this, 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:30.560 to be your nerves, to fix your clothes, to fixture 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.720 it all. You want them to do anything, and those 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:34.720 that to be freaking with you too. That's what it 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:37.720 sounds like to me, I think that men want they 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.400 have very high expectations of what they wanted a woman, 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:42.520 not a woman that they want a girlfriend like as 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.039 a girlfriend, or a woman that they want to smash, 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:46.560 a woman that they want as their wife, or someone 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:48.039 that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:51.320 I think that they just have different expectations for those women. 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:54.280 But Mecca just wants to spend time together, like, just 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.359 have that time with each other because a lot of 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.719 and I don't know, I think that woman want to 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:02.080 spent a lot of time with men. I think that 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:04.320 men are Okay, we're not spending that much time with 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:06.960 a woman. I don't understand. What do you mean? Okay, 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:11.400 So making time for your significant other, you know, making 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.320 time for your significant other. A lot of times, it's 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:15.279 the small things that count. A lot of times we 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:18.400 think it's spectacular, like the diamonds and the rubies, But 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:21.919 how about just spending simple time with each other, getting 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.480 to know each other, getting to know one another First 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.480 of all, I believe that you don't fall in love 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:30.000 so easily. You gotta find It takes a while to 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.880 find that love, Like I really love you, So you 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:35.520 gotta take that you have to building to build it 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:38.240 and to really get to know one another. So maybe 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:40.440 that's what a woman wants it, that's what a man wants. 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:43.480 They want that time together. Like a lot of guys 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.320 are not. They're greedy, they don't want to share their 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:48.600 well do you believe it? It's also true that men 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.120 just want to Netflix and chill, Like is that is 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:55.000 that something to sit back, watch TV, be lazy and 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.880 just you know, and then whatever happens during the Netflix 0:05:57.920 --> 0:05:59.880 and share it happens. So what is it the men 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:02.719 are looking for? You're looking for a homeboy, like a girl, 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:05.080 there's a homeboy you can smash, Like, how does this work? Like, 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:07.200 I'm just trying to figure out. Is it a combination 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:10.920 of a homeboy with your mama put together with a 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:12.920 woman that's attractive and it's gonna give it to you? 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:15.800 Because you want someone that's gonna let you be, let 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.240 you be yourself. You want someone that's gonna let your 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:21.440 Netflix and chill. You want to have your loane time 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:23.320 because you don't want to be bothered with you know, 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:25.760 whatever your girlfriend or boyfriend maybe going through. You want 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:28.560 your own space and I get that part. Supposedly, you can. 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:32.320 You always want sex. So it's like, are the requirements 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:35.280 to hide these days to have a you know, an 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:40.880 established relationship or two? Men want too much out of women? Wow, 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:44.080 you know, let's let's for you brought up a good point. 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:47.360 I feel like a lot of men that you know, 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:50.760 didn't have a mother figure, or a lot of women 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:53.599 that didn't really have a father figure, is like, that's 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.160 what they're looking Have you ever been a relationship that 0:06:56.279 --> 0:07:00.640 the parties of your father are in the man you're dating, 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.600 And you'd be like, but it really depends. And that's 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:05.320 a really good point. It really depends because what about 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:07.320 the girls that didn't have a father figure? So what 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:09.320 are we? What do we look up to? We just 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.400 get whatever's left. Wow, that sounds terrible, but it's true. 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:14.960 I don't know if we're looking for daddy because you 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:17.080 can never you can't miss something you've never had. And 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:19.520 I'm only speaking from a girl that comes from a 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:22.080 single mother, Like I never had that father figure. I 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.520 never had someone who showed me you know, this is 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:26.120 how a man is supposed to treat you. This is 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:27.880 what a man is supposed to do. I never had that. 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:29.560 I have to figure that out on my own. So 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:33.480 therefore I can understand how women like myself may still 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:36.280 have some type of traumas in which we end up 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.720 picking men that are in need of other things where 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:42.680 that may not be the best catch, right, So I 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.400 get it, you know. But I'll say this much. And 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.280 I only realized this not too long ago when I 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.440 was like self healing and trying to figure out what 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:51.760 the hell is going on in my mind. But I 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:53.880 can't say that I've been with men that are exactly 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.360 like my father or have similarities. But I will say 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.360 that I usually look for men that don't want me. 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:02.640 Is that weird? Like I can have all the men 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:05.600 in the world again, and I want that one man 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.080 that don't want me. And maybe that can also come 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.120 from not having my father around the fact that my 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:13.360 father wasn't in the picture and I was always seeking 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:16.720 for that. Maybe I seek that same validation from a man, 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.320 and that took me a really long time to really 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:22.200 get into that deep thought. I don't I'm out of 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.520 like I beg to the Sometimes we just need a 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:27.240 little bit of Trinthian they counseling therapy in or mine. 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:29.560 I think that's a beautiful that I think that's the problem. 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.240 Like a lot of people have approached me as a 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:36.640 public figure, like you know, and said, oh, I'm not 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:40.600 into the Stevie Noonaz, I'm into the Stephen Noonaz, Like 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:45.920 I don't want that person, or I don't want I 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.400 want to know who a Mada is. And I feel 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:52.360 like that's just game. You're spending game. I've heard that 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.840 for so long it gets old. It sounds like a 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:59.040 broken record, Like, no, have you had that before because 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.719 I said always said tims to think like that. And 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:04.040 then because you're saying, oh, I want a man that 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.800 doesn't want me, I think that that's the I think 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.480 you shouldn't say that. No no, no, no no, But 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:10.439 I don't. I don't think that you're you're understanding the 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.400 points it's about you understand now. I think I think 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:16.319 you missed it. What I meant is is about the chase, 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:19.720 but having to conquer the having to conquer and chase 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:21.959 and have to figure those things out. But that's another 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:24.560 that's another topic. I'm not in that place right now, 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:26.959 but I can speak as a mature woman and say 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:33.280 you're telling us, okay, familiaries. I also feel that men 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:35.520 throw a lot of common. Indeed, act does, and they 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.960 talk about their feelings in a way that is indirect. 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:40.880 I don't know if you know what I'm saying. Um, 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.680 they'll say and express how they feel. And that's another 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:45.880 thing that women we have to learn how to understand 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:48.080 and how to process that information. A lot of men 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:50.600 are not good at communicating their feelings and how they feel, 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:54.280 so you have to kind of understand the codes when 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.840 they're trying to express something. And it's hard because there's 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:59.880 no guide book into love. There's no guide book into 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.240 out to have a you know, a good relationship. But 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.800 men a lot of times express and say how they 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.760 feel about you through their actions, through certain things that 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:11.120 they do. Even if they don't communicate it, we will 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:14.040 be right back with more exactly amount of and we're bad. 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:16.320 We're talking about do women really know what men want? 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:24.240 I think how most we worked so hard trying to 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:27.559 figure out how to become and be the perfect woman 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:30.120 for a man and we still can't figure it out. 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:32.440 And I was talking about you know how men sometimes 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:35.080 give indeed at does. Yes, it is true a lot 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:40.120 i men are not good at communicating. And here's another thing, Latina, 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.240 it happens in many occasions in the Latin culture that 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.880 we feel or we teach our men are little boys 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:51.559 not to cry, don't cry, suck it up. If you 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:53.920 have any emotions, suck it up. We don't want to hear, 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:55.840 we don't want to talk about it, and keep it pushing. 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.559 Has that also affected the way that men communicate in 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:03.160 a relay reationship because they're taught not to cry, not 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.880 to express themselves. Does that does? Does a man crying 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.840 makes them less of a man? I don't think it does. 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:12.319 I think that a lot of women do get upset 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:15.520 at men because they don't express themselves, like you're not cleo, 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.160 You're not gonna just assume what is wrong with the 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:22.160 person or that something is wrong unless you are expressing 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:26.280 your feelings now. But doesn't make but doesn't make them no? No? 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:28.360 But does it make them no? But? But does it 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:30.959 make them less of a man if they cry? Like 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:33.880 if they express how they feel and they cry because 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:38.280 I know much will be like, stop crying or you're 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:41.679 acting like a little bit or whatever, instead of understanding 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.360 and knowing them. Men also have emotions and have feelings, 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:50.160 and especially black men and a Latin, especially black men 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:53.080 in this In this world, they're taught to be strong, 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:56.520 you know, keep it together. You're not supposed to express 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.239 your feelings, So how do we expect them to communicate 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.480 and express their is when they're in a relationship. A 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.840 real man does cry. But to a lot of women 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:05.520 is a turn off to see. Why is it a 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:07.840 turn off? Why? Because it's like you're whining and as 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:10.319 a man, you're not supposed to be whining? Who said that? 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:14.719 But why are you living? Okay? I? Why no? I 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.040 forget that? Like that? Just that's a turn off. You 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:19.800 want a man that's a macho and I think, but 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:23.559 I think that having a man that expresses his feelings 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:26.679 and that cries makes him a real man because he 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:30.959 wasn't scared to express. Okay, so here's another question, but 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:36.320 you can intend. Why is it so hard for guys 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:40.240 to express how they feel about too? Why don't you talk? 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.360 Tell me, tell me that you like me, tell me 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:45.280 that you me, tell me that you miss me. Why 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:47.079 is this so hard if you don't like something that 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:50.200 I did? Why do you get frustrated instead of communicating? 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:53.240 Do men really not know how to communicate? Why don't 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:58.319 they express their feelings? Because they're scared of rejection, you know, 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:02.040 But a minute, No, men are a customed men have 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:06.079 a vulnerable moment. But a lot of women in society 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:09.920 have taught us that men that are vulnerable or just 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.480 don't know men are no, no, no, no no. Men 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:16.319 are accustomed to getting rejected, rejected by women. They go 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.880 through it their whole life. Nobody wants to be rejected, 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.920 but more men are accustomed to getting rejected than women are. 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:26.440 Because women, we got the power between the legs. We're 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:29.400 gonna find someone who's gonna be approaching us. Is not 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.320 exactly the same with men. Men are the chasers. They're 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:34.360 the ones that look so to me, it's like, I 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:37.680 get it. Battle. If you don't communicate, if you don't 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:40.480 express your feelings, how are we supposed to establish as 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:46.400 Oh my god, Um it depends if I'm into the person, 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:51.360 and depends I think it best. And that's their way 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.520 of expressing how they can feel about me, and I 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:56.920 like you, yes, do whatever it is better let me know, 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:00.840 and they think about don't last because like I'm being 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:03.640 a prideful personally, I'm a very prideful person. And it's 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.160 been one of the most damaging things for me um 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:09.280 in relationship or whatever, because I'm like I could be 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.360 dying inside. I'm gonna keep it together, like I don't 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:14.480 give a funk, I don't care this and that, and 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:16.440 that's not the way to be about it. And that's 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:20.080 how you can, you know, break a real loving relationship. 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.960 And by having no communication but not expressing that. So 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:26.640 I know you're a sensitive man. It's not you being 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:35.160 sensitive expressing your feelings. It's equivalent to being sensitive candy whole. 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:39.640 It's so I disagree, And that's the problem. That's the 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.479 problem with society right now. And that's the problem with relationships. 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:47.720 But relationships the lasting a couple of months, one or 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:49.920 two or three years. If you've lasted five years with 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:53.440 someone these days, that's a life accomplishment that doesn't happen 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:55.760 because people the moment there's a problem, you're ready to 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:58.800 just move to the next relationship, next, next, next, next. 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.960 There's just way too many opts and no one is 0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.680 trying to fight for the relationship. No one is trying 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.400 to communicate, like baby meet up. I don't want to 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.440 to I don't want to have to guess. I don't 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:12.440 want the indirect jobs. Tell me what you want, tell 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:15.040 me what you need, tell me how you feel out 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:16.880 lack To me, it's not about the way that you 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.360 express what don't if you're violent. If you're violent, that's 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:22.960 gonna turn me off, you know, because some people don't 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.840 know how to express themselves and they just get frustrated 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.560 and save all of it, and then they just react 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:29.360 in a way that later on they end up regretting it. 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.600 For sure. It's not bat Let's sit down, let's talk, 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:35.800 Let's have wine, let's talk at nighttime, Let's have a 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.080 walk in the park. Um, send me a text message 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.760 meeting for for example me, I'm not good at talking 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:43.360 face to face or expressing it. I'd rather text it. 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.760 It's the best way that I can, like vent, even 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:47.600 if it takes me all day to write a message, 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:50.480 but write it down, write a letter, write a song. 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.360 Guess say, Joe, I don't freaking know. Should it be 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:59.120 something that needs to be tryed as a child, Yes, yes, 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:05.080 I definitely think that that immediately latin That happens a 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.160 lot in our culture. And as much as I love 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:09.960 being Dominican and proud, as much as I love being Latina, 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.160 I do know and understand that men are taught and 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:16.600 little boys that they're supposed to be real tough. They're 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:18.880 not supposed to have any feelings. If you feel some 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:21.120 type of way, stop crying or I'm gonna beat you 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.560 if you cry, suck it up, all these things, and 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:25.480 it's like, yes, I understand that you're trying to teach 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:28.280 them that life is tough. Collado. Teach them that, but 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.480 also teach them that it's okay to have feelings. It's 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:34.000 okay to be human. It's okay to express how you feel. 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.760 It's okay to feel pain, to feel sorrow, to feel 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:39.360 heartbroken and the girl breaks up with you. It's okay 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.560 to have all these emotions. So yes, it's important that 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:46.240 as parents we teach our little boys and girls it's 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.560 okay for you to express how you feel. Afterwards, you 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:50.960 have to suck it up. Yeah, you have to let 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:54.240 let go of that, let it out, lato express it. 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:56.520 Then you have to pick yourself back up and keep 0:16:56.560 --> 0:17:00.520 it moving. Fiddles, do you teach that to your children? Yes? 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.840 I think we should normalize fathers teaching their son how 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.440 to express their feelings. And how do you do that? 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:08.280 How do you teach your child not you know to 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:10.800 be free. Well, he's one years old right now. But 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:14.440 if I when the time comes, okay, when the time comes, 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:16.199 I'm gonna be like. You do need to express if 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:18.639 you don't like something. They teach you at very early age, 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:22.200 you know, child development. You have to use your words 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.800 if you don't like something that someone is doing or 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:26.880 what a woman is doing to you, before you become 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.400 a battered husband, you need to express that you don't 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:31.760 like that. That no, you're not taking all my money. Okay, 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:33.680 I'm doing all of this what I'll be knowing it. 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:37.280 That's right, I'll be good like you gotta be a 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:39.560 man at that point, you're right if you don't express, 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.560 you know, the more we go along in the episode, 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.720 you start bringing like she starts knocking some sentence to Stevin, 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:49.359 nonaz is that I do come from that? You know, 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:53.040 those generational what I would call curses of men and 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:55.879 how it should be, you know, or how we should 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.280 do things. I didn't have a father to tell me 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:00.359 how to express my feelings. But I didn't have a vocal, 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.919 bronx woman that was like always expressing her feelings. Right, 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.800 So if we don't have to always because you know, 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:10.280 let's keep it real. Statistic shows that that in our 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:14.160 culture there's not a fathers are not present all the time. 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.320 So it's okay, I get that I didn't have my garments, 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:19.480 but I didn't get that from my father. I got 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.440 that from my mother from the bronx that if she 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:24.560 didn't like something, ship but like, no, I don't like that, 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:27.040 and that's why I am the way I am. But 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:29.879 does everybody like that? No, because when you're too real 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:32.639 and too aggressive, everyone doesn't like that. That's what it 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:35.080 is with men, is that men don't know how to 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:39.000 express their feelings. The question is do women really know 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:42.200 what men want? Do they really know? Well, I want 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:44.600 to know what you guys think. Go to Exactly a 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:47.320 Matta on Twitter, Instagram and go check us out on 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:50.280 our YouTube channel. We're gonna take a quick pause, but 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:53.920 we will be right back, all right, and we're back 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:57.280 with more Exactly a Mada. We're trying to find out 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:01.040 do women really know what men want? This has been 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:03.879 met out. We've been trying to break the code for 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:07.000 years now. We've been trying to figure out how to 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:09.280 be the best woman for a man. How to do 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.520 this our bodies, our minds, how to behave, how to cook, 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:14.280 how to do We've been trying to figure out how 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:16.080 to be this perfect woman for a man. But I 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:18.320 don't even think that we know ourselves. What do men 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:20.800 really want? And that's why I really want to know. 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:25.800 This commitment come in like at what AIGs do men 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:28.320 really want to commit? Like? Is there a specific time 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:31.320 that men men really want to commit? Do they really want? Well, 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:32.959 first is do they even want to commit? But then 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:34.920 I also want to know is there like a specific age, 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.560 like after a certain period of time they have been 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:41.120 fucking and dancing and flippering around in life that they're like, Yeah, 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:42.639 I want to settle down and I want to commit 0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:50.520 to you. I don't know that. I think it has 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:52.919 to do with something that happens in your life, ye 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:55.440 to your commitment, Like when you're committed not to catch 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:57.840 STD and then you catch you STD. Oh my god, 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:01.280 you say I am committed to lever. Has that STD again? 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:04.639