WEBVTT - Bring Your Authentic Self to Work (How-To Monday) 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.800 Ba Fam, we have another how to throw back for you, 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:06.640 of course we do all month. We're looking back at 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.799 some of our favorite episodes from days past, for memorable 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:13.800 guests to unforgettable moments. There's still so much to learn 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:14.240 from the. 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:23.720 Be A Vault. Take a listen, will you all right? 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:26.760 Hey, hey, ba Fam, It's Mandy. I'm back with another 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:34.160 very special guest with Brown Ambition. Today we have the amazing, incredible, intelligent, 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:43.400 charismatic snowboarding podcasting writing, TED Talking queen Jody An Beury. 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:46.760 Jody Anne is as I just said, I don't even 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.640 there's not enough hyphens for Jody Ann. But where I 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:53.200 discover Jody Anne was through her incredible TED talk, which 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:54.760 you can check out. We'll put a link in the 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:58.080 show notes called the myth of bringing your full authentic 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:02.440 self to work. And through her work, Jodyanne says she 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:05.679 is on a mission to disrupt business as usual to 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:09.080 achieve social change, and she's doing that in a couple 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.560 of different ways, and especially in the way that she's 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.200 approached her career. So we're going to talk to Jodyan 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:17.400 about the TED talk about the myth of Black women 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:20.840 bringing their full authentic self to work also her podcast. 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:24.320 She has an amazing podcast called Black Cancer, which we're 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:26.840 going to talk about where she explores the lives of 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:30.520 people of color through their cancer journeys. I cannot wait 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:35.000 to get into this conversation. So, without further ado, Hello Jodyann. 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:36.319 Thanks for joining VA. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:38.720 Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having me. 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:40.119 That was the best introduction ever. 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:41.280 Oh you're welcome. 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:43.760 I want women and you know what. 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:46.119 I used to do it off air on my own, 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:48.680 but then I was like, I know it's uncomfortable to 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:51.440 hear your own bio, but I also want here listen 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:54.080 to your bio, you know, listen to what you have done. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.680 So for those in the BA fam who may not 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:59.640 be aware of your work, where did you get your 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:02.120 start in your career and how did you end up 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:03.760 on that Ted Talk stage? Walk me through it? 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:05.360 So in nineteen eighty six. 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:10.640 Now, when two people love each other, unnots exactly exactly. 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.520 There are two ways to think about this, Right, Normally 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:16.799 I would say, oh, I'm a classic millennial and that 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:20.160 I'm like on my sixth or seventh career at this point, right, 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:22.840 And then the other side of the coin is what 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:26.960 happens to your career path when you graduate college with 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.520 this promise of if you go to a fancy school, 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:32.519 you get a fancy job and live a fancy life. 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:36.480 In two thousand and eight, in the Great Recession, you 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.760 know what happens to your career path when you're just 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:42.880 trying to make do? And then what also happens to 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:46.720 your career path when you're a black woman in predominantly 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:51.799 white spaces trying to carve out space for how you 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:57.520 work right, your authenticity, your values, your ambitions. And so 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:00.520 I think on that second half of it, between the 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.280 recession and what is it like to navigate work as 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:07.640 a black woman. Yeah, you'll see people changing jobs every 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:11.400 couple of years or changing industries every couple of years. 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:14.560 And so I think that this path of the topic 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:18.160 of my TED talk authenticity, that I've kind of always 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:22.440 been on that path in some shape or form, trying 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:26.640 to understand who I am in these spaces, who I 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:30.120 am as a person who's born in Jamaica but moved 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:34.080 to the US within my first year of life, navigating 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.760 those two cultures within blackness, Navigating what it's like to 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:40.760 try to succeed and understand yourself in the context of 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:46.040 predominantly white institutions and predominantly white workspaces. I've always been 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:51.560 trying to understand what is truly my authentic core and 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:55.240 what have I had to adapt as part of who 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:59.280 I am in the process of code switching for know 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:03.080 now twenty plus years of my life, right, And so 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:06.320 I think I've always kind of been building through my 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:11.960 own experiences personally, my professional path, and just my scholarship 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:17.360 of kind of authenticity in these types of contentious environments 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:22.000 or environments that have high stakes, because who you are 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:27.080 in your authenticity with your friendships isn't tied to your 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:32.360 livelihood or your health insurance. Yeah, so there's a lot 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.760 of risk in that space. So I think I've always 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:40.160 been building content wise. But as far as the TED stage, 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:42.560 and I know you talked about the podcast and to 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:46.240 make that linkage here, four years ago around this time 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:49.120 I had my surgery. I'm sure we'll get more into that, 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:53.159 But as a part of going through that process of 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:59.000 the prediagnosis depression that I was experiencing, the post diagnosis 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:02.800 depression I was experience and saying, just like, how traumatic 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:06.000 that health crisis was when you're in a situation when 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:09.719 you have to really grapple with your own mortality. There 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:13.360 was a period of time that I couldn't see myself 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:16.680 in the future, Like I really just like, all right, 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:19.200 let's just make it through the end of today, maybe 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:21.920 we make it tomorrow. But I really could not see 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:27.000 or imagine my life beyond like the immediate crisis that 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:31.080 I was in. And so the moment that I had 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:35.200 the thought that oh, I'm going to apply for tedex 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:39.760 Seattle became the moment where I'm like, wait, are you 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:46.280 seeing yourself in the future? Yeah, do you see a vision? 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.960 Do you see a path for? You know? Your life? 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:54.600 What you can contribute? And I think, most critically what 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:58.000 I want to leave behind? What do I have to 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:04.919 say that can outlast me and kind of reach way 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.680 beyond I could in my little corner of the world. 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.120 And so that's kind of how I got to the 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:14.120 TED stage. Like both content wise, life experience wise, but 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:19.279 also what makes you take that leap was this desire 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:25.120 to leave something behind. It's interesting because you think about 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:28.080 leaving things behind, but I don't think I really fully 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:31.880 grappled with or thought of what being on the TED 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:34.880 stage would create a head for me. 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:39.120 You know what do you mean by that the opportunities 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.280 that came with it, the spotlight, the exposure. 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:43.920 Yeah, there are a lot of good things that come 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.920 with that. I will say taking that TED stage during 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:51.800 the pandemic it was in twenty twenty has radically transformed 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:57.080 the trajectory of my life, just objectively, but also as 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.840 I was trying to grapple with like who I was 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:03.800 with this, like planning for my life, Like why it 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:05.840 was so critical for me to even start having the 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:09.120 thought of TED. Once you reach and I'm sure you've 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:12.520 experienced this but I don't want to project, but you 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:16.040 get this public sense of who you are. You know, 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.600 who you are on social media, who you are on 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:21.600 the TED stage, what people think about you kind of 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:26.080 through these mediated platforms, and then who you actually are. 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.600 Let's talk about your health scare, not even a health scare, 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:34.320 your traumatic health event you were at, what happened? How 0:07:34.360 --> 0:07:37.640 old were you? Because I mean, this is I can't 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.880 even fathom being you were probably in your mid twenties. 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:42.800 No, thirty two when I got that. 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:46.760 Thirty two, early thirty Okay, So tell us, yeah, so 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:51.160 so talk about this, this this experience, and how did 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:53.440 that sort of change your outlook on your career and everything. 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:59.800 Yeah, so I think I've been struggling with different health ailments, 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:04.400 very benign like, ah, my elbow hurts, you know, like 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:09.080 my wrisk, like very very tiny, tiny things for about 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.960 three years. And so that took me in and out 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:16.800 of different doctors' offices doing MRIs and X rays and 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:21.520 trying braces and exercises and creams, and the work of 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:26.520 that is mentally exhausting, physically exhausting, and it's expensive. The 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:30.280 first MRI that I had cost four hundred dollars and 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.200 I have eld insurance. Okay, so it's like it was 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.160 just it was a lot, and I was getting very 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.400 tired of that, especially in a lot of these in 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:43.880 and out of new doctors' offices, being met with racism 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:48.840 and different bias, which shows up as I mean, are 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:52.679 you really in a lot of pain? I had one 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.920 doctor tell me that a lot of what I was 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.960 experiencing was a result of having having a sedentary lifestyle, 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.000 and I'm like, well, how do you know that, because 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:07.439 I snowboard, I surf, I run, I lift weights. I 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:11.040 was on a competitive dragon boating team. So he's looking 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:13.120 at me like, oh, why didn't you tell me, well, 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:16.240 why did you assume looking at me? I don't know 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.480 if it was colored my skin shape, with my body 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.160 that you assumed that I was sitting at home watch 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.640 TV all day, which is also fine for people who 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:26.160 do that, not trying to judge on people's lifestyles, right, 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:31.679 And so just kind of deal with like the back 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:35.760 and forth of that and the it was just draining. 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:40.320 I cannot describe like the level of pain, but you're 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:43.080 just like it's whatever you push through, you go to work. 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:46.320 I still did all my physical activities and I was 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:48.600 hurting the whole time, which is a whole other thing 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:52.800 of why do we normalize being in pain like that? 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.880 Wasn't okay. At some point I was describing all of 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.880 this to my sister and she just interrupted me and 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:03.440 she's like, Joe, so you were not Serena Williams. And 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:04.959 I'm like, first of all, you don't have to come 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.440 for me like that. I know that I know that 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:09.960 I'm not Serena Williams, Like what is your point here? 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.280 But the point she was making was that I'm just 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.960 a regular active person. You know, Serena Williams is an 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:21.840 elite athlete, right, being a regular active person should not 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.760 create the amount of ailments that I was having, right, 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.560 that the fact that I was in pain was not 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:31.200 normal or should be warranted for the types of activities 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:33.079 that I was doing, because again it's not like I'm 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:37.319 I'm doing a lot, but I'm not an elite level competitive, 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:40.400 greatest in the world athlete, and so that kind of 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:45.240 snapped to me that this is actually not okay, and 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:49.080 so I kind of grited down, barried it. I gave 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:53.920 myself four months to do every single test that they 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:58.079 could do, unrelenting, right, that I would just give myself 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:01.160 that amount to really do the investigat work, which is 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.880 itself a massive privilege to be able to take the 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:08.000 time off, to be able to have the health insurance 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.280 or the finances to cover that, or or even the 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:15.520 mental capacity to invest in your health in your in 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.880 yourself that way. And so I was like, I have 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:19.800 all these things lined up for me. I'm just going 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.079 to commit for the next couple of months to figure 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.360 it out. Literally, the next test that I did, which 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:30.880 was an MRI, my cervical spine, found a massive tumor 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:34.000 inside of my spinal cord. So the way it was 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:39.280 explained to me was if I did nothing, I would 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:43.080 be completely paralyzed from the neck down in a year. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:46.040 So I should have surgery and should have it within 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:48.400 the week, which I pushed back because I was already 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:51.520 scheduled to go snowboarding in Europe. So I was like, yeah, 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:53.079 I'm going to Europe first and then i'll. 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:53.720 Be back after that. 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:55.000 Wait. 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:01.640 Wait, you were snowboarding, sir fing, all this stuff and 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:06.520 you had a massive spinal tumor massive. Doing nothing would 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.400 have made you paralyzed. And you said, uh huh, I 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:13.760 hear you. But the flight is booked and the hotels 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:19.360 were really fundable. So BRB, you didn't tell your mom, 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:20.480 did you? 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:20.640 No? 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:22.599 Are you kidding? My mom never would have let me. 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:24.960 I was gonna say, Mama never knew that you were 0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:27.040 getting on that flight with a smile tour. 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.679 No, that was not information we were sharing the public. 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:32.760 Oh my god. 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:35.800 So this was going through my head because he told 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:40.920 me that the surgery itself carried the same risks, right, 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:45.280 that the surgery itself could paralyze me if. 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:47.160 Something with you when you were getting this news. 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:52.880 No, So like, okay, if that's what I'm facing, if 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:57.880 I'm facing potential complete paralysis from the neck down this week. 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:03.440 I'm going to Europe right because it could be the 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:08.559 last time I was ever able to travel independently or 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:12.280 to snowboard and to like have that experience. I didn't 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.199 know what was ahead of me, and so I start bargaining. 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.960 I'm like, can I push it back a month? And 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:20.319 he's like, you have a ticking time bomb in your neck. 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:24.280 I cannot make you better than you are from when 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:27.640 you go into surgery, and so you could be compromising. 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:29.840 You know the best thing that you have going for 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:33.120 you right now, which is the fact that you're healthy 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:36.200 right like you have a lot of mobility. He actually 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:39.200 said to me that when he saw my scans, he 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:42.160 didn't he didn't expect someone who could walk to come 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:46.080 into his office, like that's that's where we were. And 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:48.920 so after the deliberation, I was like, I have to 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.840 go to Europe, like I have to do this trip 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:55.800 like this to be my last opportunity for anything like this, 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:59.360 And so kind of went through that whole process, had 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.400 the surgery, had a lot of rehab to. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.680 Go to Europe. Had an amazing trip. 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:10.680 I hope it was phenomenal. The best snowboarding on my life. 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.720 The powder was fresh. I don't know snowboarding technology, but 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:17.640 I mean terminology. But there was snow and you boarded it. 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:19.840 Okay, there was snow and I boarded it. It was 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:22.720 it was it was great. I mean I cried for 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:26.440 a lot of it, just trying to like really take 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.840 it in. Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know. I 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:33.880 didn't know if I could die. You know, surgeries are serious, right, 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:36.280 I didn't know if I would be paralyzed. I didn't 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:39.640 know anything. You know, my family and I my sister's 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:45.200 in military. They planned that if I ended up severely 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:50.360 like paralyzed, that she would adopt me as her child 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:52.640 so I can get health insurance through the military and 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:54.720 I wouldn't have to bankrupt my entire family for the 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:57.280 rest of my life, you know. Like so there were 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:03.360 a lot of what if head and I just needed 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:06.400 to focus on there. Now I'm going to Europe. I'm 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.040 going to have surgeram. We'll see what happens after that. 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:11.960 When I came back to work from that, And one 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.200 thing you know, at the intersections with work here that 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:17.480 I want to emphasize is that when you have a 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:20.200 health crisis, or someone in your household or someone that 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:24.720 you take care of has a major health crisis. You 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:30.400 have to decide what is likely an inevitability that you 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:35.720 have to tell somebody at work, and not all workplaces 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:41.880 know how to handle the real humanness that comes with 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:49.560 when a health crisis is in play. Whatever meetings I had, 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:56.640 whatever deadlines I was working on, did not matter as 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.360 soon as I got that news. And thankfully, whereas working 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.800 at the time, they're like, you do what you have 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:06.440 to do, all the paperwork, all the PTO, all the 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:09.680 disability whatever, we will handle that on the back end. 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:13.160 I did not have to worry about anything when it 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:17.000 came to my job. In fact, after surgery, I was 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:20.880 on disability leave for four months and they created a 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:26.440 policy at my organization. This is a very small organization, nonprofit, 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:30.840 so I don't even know if those large companies do this, 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:35.320 but they created a policy where you could donate your 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:38.680 PTO to someone else. And so in the creation of 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:42.960 that policy, I was able to extend my leave an 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.840 additional month because I was still I mean, I couldn't 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:48.800 even type after surgery, right, I had to relearn how 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:52.120 to do everything that I could extend my leave and 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:56.000 still get my full paycheck. It's it was probably the 0:16:56.040 --> 0:17:01.040 greatest gift to not have to worry about my livelihood, 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:02.920 how I was going to be paying for all these bills, 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.160 what I would have to do work wise. They took 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:10.120 every single thing off my plane. Not everybody has that experience, 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:13.679 even when it's you who've been diagnosed with cancer or 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.919 you have this. We're seeing this now with COVID, how 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:21.000 sensitive companies are with giving space for that or understanding 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:25.320 the role of caregivers. You know, my sister's job was 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:28.199 very supportive of her because she was the one who 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.240 was primarily caring for me after I got discharged, And 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:34.159 so I just wanted to emphasize that because if we 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:37.240 talk about this in authenticity language like this is genuinely 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:39.320 what I was dealing with, what I was going through, 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:43.919 and my work environment had the ability to hold that 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.440 to support me as I was trying to, like fright 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:51.320 for my life. Right. Not all places have that. It's 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.359 like are you going to be well or are you 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:55.800 going to work here? And we prefer that you work 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:59.760 here regardless of what physical, mental or emotional damage that 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:02.840 does to you. I think, you know, just to land 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:06.560 the plane here. But after going through that experience, it 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:13.520 became very clear to me that difference between like how 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:16.000 different my experience could have been if I was working 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:20.159 somewhere else, and so that division of what is me 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.760 and what is this organization, what is the environment, what 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:27.320 is the individual, and what is the institution? Right, so 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:31.960 that became super clear for me. But also, and I've 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:33.600 talked to a lot of people on the podcast who 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:39.240 go through this, but the capacity for bullshit is like 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.560 almost eliminated after you go through something like that. And 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:48.040 so my decision making after that was very clear. Right 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:52.680 at a job that I loved, it was absolute nonsense 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:55.120 to me, and I quit right. I wanted to kind 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.280 of create my life in this way. I'm not handwringing 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:00.760 and like I don't know what should you do? Should 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:03.480 I do this? Maybe I could wait? No, wait for what? 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:07.119 And so I still live my life that way with 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:09.480 people who want to plan stuff for me, like months 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.760 in advance or you know, I've had people ask me like, oh, 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.480 what are you working on or what goals do you have? 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:18.480 And I tell them the same thing, like I don't 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:21.560 plan my life more than two weeks out right, Like 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:25.200 I just because you don't know. And I think that 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:29.199 kind of trauma response also gives me a sense of 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:34.880 urgency and a way where I don't negotiate with what 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:38.160 keeps me healthy, what keeps me sane, and what keeps 0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:43.159 me happy, Like that's non negotiable, and so I always 0:19:43.160 --> 0:19:44.640 try to take care of myself. 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:48.520 Or clarity, I mean what I mean. It was trauma, 0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:51.639 but it was like the positive, the silver lining is 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:56.880 that fast track to clarity, fast track to being unbothered, oh, 0:19:57.080 --> 0:20:01.159 being focused and understanding what's import You know, when you 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:04.800 say you get stripped down to like family, your health, 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:08.080 you know what's in front of you. Nothing else matters. 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:14.040 And I am I don't want every Obviously not everyone 0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:17.800 needs a spinal tumor. I don't let it be a 0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:20.639 spinal tumor. The client that I was talking to this morning, 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:22.800 when I tell you, and it's so serendipitous that I'm 0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:24.639 sitting with you now because I think back to my 0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:27.720 I hate the word client makes it sound so transactional. 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:30.280 But this woman who has been working with me for 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:32.119 a couple of months now, and I looked at her 0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:34.040 and I was like, you've realized I need you to 0:20:34.080 --> 0:20:36.840 act more like your your house is on fire right now, 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:40.240 like you're having an emergency. We need to call nine 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:44.400 one one, and their responses. Quit the responses. It's time 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:47.200 for you to walk away and take six months off. 0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:50.600 But and it was like she was waiting for something 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:55.199 big enough, the catastrophe, the tumor on a scan, you 0:20:55.240 --> 0:20:58.920 know what I mean, And the fact that and it's 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:02.400 really difficult kind of get people to a place where 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:04.400 they can see their own health and their own well 0:21:04.400 --> 0:21:08.600 being as that emergency like it actually is in jeopardy. Wow, 0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:11.159 all right, ba fam, Let's take a quick break and 0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:15.240 we'll be right back with more of my illuminating conversation 0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:20.880 with Jody Ambury. This is brown ambition, All right, ba fam, 0:21:20.960 --> 0:21:23.840 we are back. Let's dive right back into my conversation 0:21:23.960 --> 0:21:30.200 with Jody Ambury. The surgery, the physical rehabilitation. How long 0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:31.240 did all of that take? 0:21:31.359 --> 0:21:32.040 You said it was. 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:34.280 Four months of recovery, five months. 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:39.560 Relearning of not working. So I was in hospital for 0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:43.920 about a month, and that like can you walk, can 0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:47.360 you write? Can you pick up a really small thing 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:49.600 and put it to the other side of the table, 0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:54.040 Like that process was so I don't want to say 0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:58.080 humbling because it makes it sound like it was a 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:00.840 fun process. 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:04.720 No humbling usually means it was hard as shit and 0:22:04.760 --> 0:22:06.840 I thought you were big tough shit before, and now 0:22:06.840 --> 0:22:08.000 you need to pick up a pencil. 0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:11.600 And it's kind of like, you know, like it's kind 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:14.159 of like that like inspiration porn that we do with 0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:18.240 people who have disabilities. So you can have someone who 0:22:18.240 --> 0:22:22.480 has a physical disability and they're just playing basketball and 0:22:22.520 --> 0:22:26.040 then all the comments will be like, now you have 0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:29.800 no excuse to chase your dreams, And I'm like, here's 0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:33.080 a kid who's just like playing basketball. No one asked 0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:37.919 you to project like your shit onto that situation. And 0:22:37.960 --> 0:22:40.760 so there's this sense of like when you go through 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:44.480 something really difficult, that if you get on the quote 0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:48.000 unquote other side of it, that the process itself was 0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:52.560 worth it. Right. I would strongly prefer to not have 0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:55.840 had a spinal tumor or to be currently living with 0:22:55.960 --> 0:23:00.960 a spinal cord injury and all the disability and challenges 0:23:01.000 --> 0:23:03.200 and chronic pain that come from that. Like, I would 0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:06.280 absolutely rather not have gone through that. The experience when 0:23:06.320 --> 0:23:12.280 I was in hospital was traumatizing and very very isolating, 0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:14.840 And this is pre COVID, right, so I had people 0:23:15.000 --> 0:23:19.719 visiting me every day, but it's really challenging. And I 0:23:19.720 --> 0:23:23.520 remember this one instance where they took me to the 0:23:23.560 --> 0:23:26.200 bottom of a staircase and she was like, all right, 0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:29.480 you know, for pta today, we're gonna walk up the stairs. 0:23:30.080 --> 0:23:32.600 And I was so irritated because I'm like, I'm that 0:23:33.000 --> 0:23:35.959 memorial Sloan kettering like this is like the creme day 0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:40.919 la Creme of cancer centers in the world, and what 0:23:41.040 --> 0:23:45.720 we're doing today is walking up these dingy back staircase 0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:48.520 Like give me the bells and whistles, like I want 0:23:48.560 --> 0:23:51.879