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Speaker 1: period at shopify dot com slash tech all lowercase that's

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Speaker 1: Shopify dot com slash tech.

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Speaker 2: I listen to the Black Guy Who Tips podcast because

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Speaker 2: Rod and Karen or.

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Speaker 3: Huh hey, welcome to another episode of the Blackoutis Podcast.

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Speaker 3: I'm your host, Rod, joined us always by my co

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Speaker 3: host Keimri, and we're live on a Monday, July fifth, Yes,

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Speaker 3: the day after Independence Day, or as I like to

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Speaker 3: call it, you Niggers get back to Work Day.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's that they called it back then. And we

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Speaker 2: have a guest of very special guest.

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Speaker 3: You may know her as the award winning singer Best

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Speaker 3: Female Actor in the Motion Picture in nineteen seventy two,

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Speaker 3: Best Co Supporting Actress twenty sixteen for Fences, along with

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Speaker 3: Viola Davis, Golden Globe winner and future VP candidate for

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty, an author of I'm Telling the Truth but

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Speaker 3: I'm Lying, which is a New York Times bestseller and

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Speaker 3: available for order on Amazon, Barnes and Noble Books, A

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Speaker 3: million indie bound It is My Friend, and an unofficial

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Speaker 3: step here since what's going on?

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Speaker 2: BOSSI?

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Speaker 4: Hi friend? It's been exactly a year?

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Speaker 2: It really, it does feel that. It feels like that.

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Speaker 4: No, it has absolutely been a year. Wow, since I

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Speaker 4: did this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we did.

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Speaker 3: We tried to do the first three episodes of like, uh,

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Speaker 3: this is us or something, which I don't know when

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Speaker 3: that started.

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Speaker 2: Was that was that last year?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we did, like and it was just like I

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Speaker 3: got busy, let's let this, let's let these cookies bake

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Speaker 3: a little longer, and it was just like, you know

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Speaker 3: them cookies, I'm gonna die it.

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Speaker 4: So but we have to do the final season. Though,

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Speaker 4: we have to do the final season.

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Speaker 2: I'll beinge it for you. I got you, okay.

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Speaker 3: I think for those that are this too much, fans

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Speaker 3: that have been uh, you know, hitting us up to

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Speaker 3: be like when is it coming out?

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Speaker 2: Stuff?

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Speaker 3: And now it's just so we weren't gonna review it,

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Speaker 3: and then I don't watch if we're not gonna review,

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Speaker 3: so I like it.

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Speaker 5: To be fresh.

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Speaker 2: I like it. I like to walk like I like

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Speaker 2: to hit stop, walk.

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Speaker 3: Right in here and be like, oh my god, you know,

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Speaker 3: so I gotta beinge it. Shout out to y'all as fans.

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Speaker 3: Though none of you spoiled anything. I am completely clean.

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Speaker 3: Normally when we did the reviews, it was hard as

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Speaker 3: hell because y'all would spoil ship because I like to

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Speaker 3: watch right before and y'all would be live tweeting me

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Speaker 3: on like a Tuesday night, like, oh my god, Randall

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Speaker 3: left bell for some shit, and I'm just like what

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Speaker 3: I was watching the game.

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Speaker 2: So shout out to y'all. Y'all are real MVPs.

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Speaker 3: But the reason BOSSI is here on the main show,

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Speaker 3: the regular show, is to talk about upcoming I don't

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Speaker 3: want to say it's a holiday. It's like a it's

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Speaker 3: more like a day of awareness for mental health. No

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Speaker 3: Shame Day, which is July tenth, right.

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Speaker 4: It's exactly a week from today.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so a week from now it will

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Speaker 3: be No Shame Day, which is July twelfth.

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Speaker 2: So can you tell people about No Shame Day? Yeah?

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Speaker 6: So No Shame Day was an event that I came

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Speaker 6: up with about ten years ago, Jesus, and it's a

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Speaker 6: day where people are able to have It's weird to

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Speaker 6: say now because when I started it, people weren't having

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Speaker 6: conversations about their mental health, right and mental health. But

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Speaker 6: it's the day that people have to just tell their stories,

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Speaker 6: listen to and read other people's stories. I tell people,

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Speaker 6: you know, last year, if you're considering you know, calling

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Speaker 6: and making appument for a therapist or starting medication, then

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Speaker 6: planned for the next year to you know, if you

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Speaker 6: need some support and people to talk to or just

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Speaker 6: to hear, you know, for me success stories of people

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Speaker 6: who are successfully managing their mental health. No Shame Days

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Speaker 6: a day for people to just tell those stories with

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Speaker 6: no shame.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And it's been interesting to watch the landscape change

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Speaker 3: over those ten years, right, which is which is wild

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Speaker 3: because I feel like you must have you must have

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Speaker 3: come up with no Shame Day literally around the time

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Speaker 3: that I discovered like, oh bout the igchpe, so like

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Speaker 3: that was probably the first one. And at the time

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Speaker 3: I must have thought it was like, oh, she's been

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Speaker 3: on is forever, just because it felt like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 3: she's already so ahead of the curve with it. What

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Speaker 3: was the impetus to start it for the first time, Well.

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Speaker 6: I realized that there was. Again it's so weird to

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Speaker 6: say because I feel like I'm living in like this

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Speaker 6: this time capsule, because so much has changed over the

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Speaker 6: last decade.

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Speaker 4: But at the.

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Speaker 6: Time I realized that that there are people who were,

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Speaker 6: you know, quietly dealing with things and also not talking

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Speaker 6: about it, and then not talking about it meant that

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Speaker 6: they also weren't treating it because there was like a disconnect.

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Speaker 6: I felt that you're either open about it and taking

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Speaker 6: care of it, or you're quiet about it and not

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Speaker 6: doing anything about it. So having No Shame Day was

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Speaker 6: a space to sort of, you know, bridge the gap

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Speaker 6: between those who needed the support and needed to get

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Speaker 6: the help but didn't have the the strength or that

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Speaker 6: not of the strength, but just like the opportunity to

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Speaker 6: be public about it. Like I'm an artist and I'm

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Speaker 6: a writer, and I don't have a boss, and I

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Speaker 6: don't have and I have really supportive friends and family,

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Speaker 6: and I know a lot of people don't have that,

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Speaker 6: So for them not to have that and then also

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Speaker 6: on top of that, you know, talk themselves out of it.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to sort of create a place or an

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Speaker 4: opportunity for people.

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Speaker 6: To find the support that they needed or they wouldn't

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Speaker 6: necessarily have, you know, in their private life, and hopefully

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Speaker 6: that would encourage more people to seek treatment and do

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Speaker 6: things to because back then self care didn't the term

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Speaker 6: self care didn't exist. So for the most part, for me,

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Speaker 6: it was like that true self care of like making

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Speaker 6: sure that your emotional and physical health were being taken

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Speaker 6: care of and you're doing everything you possibly could to

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Speaker 6: make sure that you were okay. Yeah, so that's what

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Speaker 6: the day was for. Just just even talking about it

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Speaker 6: feel super dated now, which is why, you know, some

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Speaker 6: stuff is happening behind the scenes.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, so I feel like.

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Speaker 3: Back then too though, like we would when you when

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Speaker 3: you found out someone had a mental health issue, it

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Speaker 3: was always in a quote unquote shameful situation anyway, like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you let this get out of control, and now that

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Speaker 3: we can see it, you have to explain yourself. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: like and this, and to some extent, uh, sometimes it

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Speaker 3: feels like it's still like that with like say Naomi

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Speaker 3: Yosaka when she is basically bowing out of h of

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Speaker 3: ten of tennis. You know, because she's feeling you know,

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Speaker 3: depression and anxiety and stuff that some of it she's

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Speaker 3: always felt and you kind of almost have to tell

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Speaker 3: the world or else we're gonna come down on you, you know,

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Speaker 3: like people were ready to be like, you know, while

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Speaker 3: a lot of people were defending her, there were also

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Speaker 3: another group of people that were like, we're gonna tell

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Speaker 3: her apart, what kind of competitor are you? You know,

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Speaker 3: the sports guys are going to go on TV and

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Speaker 3: be like, you know, she's weak and all this shit,

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Speaker 3: and so you it's like, we're still at a point

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Speaker 3: where I don't think people see mental health as a

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Speaker 3: as a universal thing that includes everybody, and it's still

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Speaker 3: kind of like this happened to you and you alone,

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Speaker 3: and but you know what.

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Speaker 6: You know, what's interesting though, when we're talking about nom

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Speaker 6: Issaka namly Issaka, is that people went to the other

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Speaker 6: extreme too. So it was the your week, what's wrong

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Speaker 6: with you? And then it was the oh she like,

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Speaker 6: I saw an article. I can't where I read it,

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Speaker 6: but where it was saying using her experience to make

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Speaker 6: a larger case for something else. So it took it

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Speaker 6: away from her needing that personal help and personal just

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Speaker 6: explanation for herself. I'm explaining this because I feel like

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Speaker 6: I was misunderstood and then people taking that, grabbing it

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Speaker 6: and then making about everything but what she was going through,

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Speaker 6: which I sometimes feel.

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Speaker 4: Is just as bad.

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Speaker 6: Oticles like oh, this is the this is the cult

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Speaker 6: of ambition and and and people should be allowed to

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Speaker 6: just not do anything.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, Okay, you can't call a world

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Speaker 4: class athlete.

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Speaker 6: Unambitious, unambitious. She's absolutely ambitious. She's absolutely ambitious. He's absolutely

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Speaker 6: a go getter and a fighter, which is probably why

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Speaker 6: this is so much more difficult for her than it

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Speaker 6: would be for me or you, Like, I mean, I'm

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Speaker 6: not going to do Wimbledon, and people are like, all right,

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Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying, Like it's a bigger deal

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Speaker 6: for her because there's something that she has worked towards.

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Speaker 6: So when you when you take something that that is

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Speaker 6: so human about somebody and then you put all these

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Speaker 6: other things good or bad.

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Speaker 4: On top of them, you do humanize them and you

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Speaker 4: make them into a cause and not a person.

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Speaker 6: So I think that's the that's the other extreme of

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Speaker 6: that that I think is contributes to people shame too,

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Speaker 6: because there are people who who don't want to be

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Speaker 6: a cause they just want to be a person, and

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Speaker 6: that gets more and more difficult.

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Speaker 4: It feels like Yeah.

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Speaker 7: And also, I I think that for a lot of

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Speaker 7: people who have never dealt with any form of mental illness,

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Speaker 7: their families never dealt with it, or if they have,

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Speaker 7: they're not open with it. They have a completely misunderstanding

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Speaker 7: of it because a lot of people think if there

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Speaker 7: is a mental illness, they automatically go to you being

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Speaker 7: in a padded room, locked up, like they think, if

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Speaker 7: you have any form of mental illness, you cannot function

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Speaker 7: in society. Dak Like you can't have a job, you

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Speaker 7: can't work, you can't excel, you can't be great at something.

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Speaker 7: It's like once you say that, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 7: that almost strips away everything else from you and you

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Speaker 7: become nothing but that and you can't do anything else

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Speaker 7: around that, because that's their definition of how they perceive

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Speaker 7: it and what they think it is out of their

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Speaker 7: lack of understanding and knowledge of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think yeah, Also because.

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Speaker 3: Because of how we see it as like a thing

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Speaker 3: that happens to you and then you get better and

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Speaker 3: then you're okay and not something.

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Speaker 2: You live with, right.

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Speaker 3: I remember in the NBA playoffs, Paul George last year

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Speaker 3: talked about dealing with depression, but he also was playing

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Speaker 3: really badly at the time.

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Speaker 2: And so after he played badly and.

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Speaker 3: Everybody was like, you know, oh my god, is it

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Speaker 3: because he's depressed. And then the press was like, we

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Speaker 3: need to be careful how we talked about him and

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Speaker 3: all of this stuff. And then I want to say,

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Speaker 3: maybe not even a week. He had like two or

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Speaker 3: three good games in a row, and it was like, cool,

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Speaker 3: he fixed his depression.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and it does not work like I think.

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Speaker 3: She might have hit refreshed. Yeah, give it one second.

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Speaker 3: Oh she acidentally closed herself out.

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Speaker 2: All right, you know what, no problem. It's been a while.

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Speaker 2: She's a little bit rusty. I'm adding her back to this.

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Speaker 5: I was like, she just went away.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, she just didn't want to hear what

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Speaker 2: I had to say. And that's cool. It happens all

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Speaker 2: the time. Now. She needed Oh there you go, I hear.

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Speaker 6: I'm I'm in my office slash the sunroom, and it's

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Speaker 6: my computer starting overheat. So I was like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 6: turn off the video and I'm gonna move to another

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Speaker 6: room and it'll be smooth.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, close video, Oh that's what I want. No, that's.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if you want to hit the camera icon, it'll

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Speaker 3: take you off screen and you can still hear us

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Speaker 3: through the audio and then you can pop back up.

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Speaker 2: No, but yeah, it was it was.

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Speaker 3: It was weird because we really don't know how to

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Speaker 3: talk about our treat mental health in general, because you know,

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Speaker 3: we'll get to those other reasons, but one of the

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Speaker 3: things is it's like, well then he played good. Three

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Speaker 3: days later he's not depressed, and it's like, how does

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Speaker 3: that work? Naomi Osaka? And it bothered me so bad.

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Speaker 3: We talked about on the show and depth, but it

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Speaker 3: really bothered me that her first letter was talking about

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Speaker 3: anxiety and like just a bunch of stuff and people

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Speaker 3: just glossed over that and made it her versus the

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Speaker 3: French open and then we're like cheering, like, yeah, she

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Speaker 3: didn't play. She showed them as opposed to she didn't play.

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Speaker 3: That's good that she's going somewhere to try to take

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Speaker 3: care of her help.

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Speaker 7: Mental because it was never about her mental health in

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Speaker 7: the first place. And I think that it's like a

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Speaker 7: once you get down to very complicated because a lot

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Speaker 7: of people, because they don't know how to handle it,

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Speaker 7: they handle it poorly. And what's funny is that a

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Speaker 7: lot of these same groups so people would call themselves allies,

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Speaker 7: you know, but yeah, the same standard that they put

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Speaker 7: towards white people, towards straight people, you know, towards these

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Speaker 7: other groups when it comes to them and whatever their

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Speaker 7: privileged place is in life, they don't understand that people

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Speaker 7: do fuck up and that you may not understand.

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Speaker 5: You don't have all the answers, you.

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Speaker 7: Know, Sometimes it's better for you to sit down and

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Speaker 7: shut up and be quiet and let the people going

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Speaker 7: through it talk so that they can have a better understanding.

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Speaker 7: But when people come from places of pilpics, they don't

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Speaker 7: never see it from that perspective.

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Speaker 6: Well, I think also is that there are people who

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Speaker 6: say that they understand, and there's people who say that

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Speaker 6: they get it who absolutely don't get it based on

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Speaker 6: the way that they respond. Because even when you think

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Speaker 6: that you're being supportive and I think that's what you mean, Karen,

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Speaker 6: by people who are supposed to be allies, because even

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Speaker 6: when it sound like the words sound as though they're

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Speaker 6: being supportive and they get it, but.

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Speaker 4: The performance of those words right says otherwise, you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean?

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Speaker 6: And I think that to me, over the last couple

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Speaker 6: of years, it's no longer about people not talking about it.

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Speaker 4: People are talking about it.

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Speaker 6: It's what they're saying, why they're saying, What is the

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Speaker 6: result of what they're saying? What do they want from

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Speaker 6: what they're saying? Do you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: So it's like I've seen the conversation shift in really

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Speaker 4: amazing ways where it's like the shame of it has minimized.

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Speaker 5: But then it's.

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Speaker 6: Also categorically more about the response as opposed to your health,

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Speaker 6: you know what I mean, Like like, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say, I think one of the things

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Speaker 3: I wanted to talk to you about was the conversation

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Speaker 3: has been kind of muddied because, uh, mental health is

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Speaker 3: a moneymaker now, right, you know, And we've seen people

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Speaker 3: that you know, kind of seem like they're getting into

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Speaker 3: it for for that that promotion of it, like the

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Speaker 3: self promotion and you know, kind of taking it on

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Speaker 3: to be like Okay, now this is a lane that

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Speaker 3: I can feel and not necessarily having any experiencing and

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Speaker 3: not necessarily being any level of advocate or reading. But

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Speaker 3: just like hey, I go to therapy, I decided to

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Speaker 3: have you know, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 7: And and and and because it is such a hustle

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Speaker 7: and what I'm I'm getting ready to talk about a

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Speaker 7: bar small percentage of people because there's such a hustle

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Speaker 7: behind it, and because of social media and everything around

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Speaker 7: social media about you and your platform and everything that

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Speaker 7: makes you look great and everything that shines. There are

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Speaker 7: a small percentage of people that self diagnose that have

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Speaker 7: not seen anybody, They have not went to anybody, no,

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Speaker 7: no doctor, nobody has told you these things. But yet

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Speaker 7: you put it out there because that's what everybody else

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Speaker 7: is doing. And you may or may not fall into

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Speaker 7: the category that you're claiming, not this something might not

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Speaker 7: be wrong, not that you might not be going through something.

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Speaker 7: But sometimes you throw these words and these phrases and

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Speaker 7: these definitions out there that you don't even understand the

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Speaker 7: meaning of and know and there are people that are

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Speaker 7: really actually going through these things and dealing with these

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Speaker 7: things and have consequences behind these things. But because everything

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Speaker 7: is such a self promotion, you have people just throwing

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Speaker 7: this up and to an extent, some people use an

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Speaker 7: action excuse for their poor and bad behavior when you

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Speaker 7: self diagnosed, which is completely different.

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Speaker 3: Because that's what I was gonna say is the languages

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Speaker 3: become so ubiquitous now that people people are now using

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Speaker 3: it right and not necessarily because of their experience, but

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Speaker 3: because it's.

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Speaker 2: A good catch all.

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Speaker 3: And to me, I feel like it really restigmatizes, uh,

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Speaker 3: mental health, like when it's yeah, I'm this is not

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Speaker 3: necessarily mental health. But this is like an example, right,

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Speaker 3: It's like how dudes with famous dudes, famous rich, normally

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Speaker 3: attractive men for a while, they would get get caught

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Speaker 3: cheating and then be like a sex addiction and it

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Speaker 3: was like all y'all, niggas, all y'all going, was you

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Speaker 3: in sex addiction before this? There is a real thing,

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Speaker 3: Like it's not a coincidence that you just having to

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Speaker 3: get caught cheating on your wife with seven different women.

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Speaker 3: That's that it couldn't possibly be something else that you

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Speaker 3: just really would It feels like that's what's happening a

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Speaker 3: lot of times, you know, people get castigated for bad

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Speaker 3: behavior and then they pop up and go no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: this bad behavior is this mental health thing. But then

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Speaker 3: there's never any addressing of what like trying to work

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Speaker 3: on it, any any therapy, any medication, any regiments, any

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Speaker 3: change behavior.

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Speaker 2: It's just like.

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Speaker 3: Mental health and catch you know, many health, get out

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Speaker 3: of jail, free car, and then move on to the

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Speaker 3: next disaster.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: One thing that I've always said is that your mental

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Speaker 6: health is a reason, not an excuse.

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Speaker 4: And when it's a reason, it's an explanation.

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Speaker 6: This explains why behave like this, This explains why you know,

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Speaker 6: I went to ten whin a two would have been okay, Like,

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Speaker 6: this explains all of that. But once I know that

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Speaker 6: it's and this is where I get in trouble a lot.

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Speaker 6: I don't say it a lot online, but like it's

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Speaker 6: my mental health, my depression, anxiety, hypo mania by or two.

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Speaker 6: All of that is my responsibility.

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Speaker 4: It's up to me to make sure that I am

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Speaker 4: capable of navigating the world in a way that is

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Speaker 4: healthy and safe for me. And it would be great

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Speaker 4: if the entire world could also do that for me.

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Speaker 4: But that's not the case.

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Speaker 6: And because of that, it's still my responsibility. Because I

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Speaker 6: can't make the entire world responsible for me doesn't.

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Speaker 4: Mean I'm like, well fuck it. Then if no one's

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Speaker 4: gonna you know, uh uh.

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Speaker 6: If no one's going to keep all the triggers away

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Speaker 6: from me, then I'm just gonna be triggered.

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Speaker 4: Around with things. That's just not how it works.

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Speaker 6: And I think that that a lot of the people,

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Speaker 6: like you were saying, Karen, a lot of the people

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Speaker 6: who take on these diagnoses based on things they've read

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Speaker 6: or tweeked, the scenes that they identify with, or you know,

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Speaker 6: all these you know, different things. It absolutely restig restigmatizes

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Speaker 6: because there are people who live with these conditions, right,

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Speaker 6: with these health conditions, who are unable to navigate and

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Speaker 6: negotiate the way that you're saying that you can. And

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Speaker 6: you made it that much more difficult because you're saying, well,

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Speaker 6: I can't speak to.

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Speaker 4: People in my office because I have social anxiety. No, Like,

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Speaker 4: that's not what social anxiety.

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Speaker 6: A social anxiety is an actual, you know, uh, a

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Speaker 6: disorder that makes your life very difficult. If you cannot

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Speaker 6: speak to people when you need help, you can't like.

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Speaker 4: There there's a there's a certain there's a certain.

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Speaker 6: Uh gradiation of these things that online everybody's got it

398
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Speaker 6: at ten, when if you had it at ten, you

399
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Speaker 6: would not be able to function, you would not be

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Speaker 6: able to be okay. In this world, you would not

401
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,399
Speaker 6: be okay. So the fact that you've decided you're at ten,

402
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,159
Speaker 6: well maybe you're two. Maybe maybe you get nervous around people,

403
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 6: maybe you have a hard time speaking to to to strangers,

404
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 6: or or or or any number of things on that spectrum.

405
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Speaker 6: But because you have told people decides, the people who

406
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 6: are really out of ten don't know where to go,

407
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Speaker 6: and they don't know where or how to figure.

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Speaker 4: Out how to help themselves.

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Speaker 6: My therapist told me not long ago that she as

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Speaker 6: much as she's glad that people are talking about it

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Speaker 6: and she's getting more people coming to her, she's like

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Speaker 6: they're also coming to her with diagnoses that they have

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Speaker 6: made themselves. And if she tries to say, okay, no,

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Speaker 6: that's not what that is, or I don't think in

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Speaker 6: my expert opinion that you have blah blah blah, they

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Speaker 6: then it's like she's wrong for telling them that the

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Speaker 6: thing they read on Tumblr or whatever isn't what they

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Speaker 6: actually had, and they.

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Speaker 3: Being it, they're hitting their web MD coming in they're like, yo,

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Speaker 3: I got stage three answer, and they're like, bro, I

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00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 3: haven't even done the checkup yet like yeahhi, my name

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Speaker 3: is doctor.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Yeah, And then it was crazy.

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Speaker 3: It is like when people hear something in therapy they

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Speaker 3: don't like or whatever, because a therapist essentially is there

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Speaker 3: to give you tools. And this is one of the

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00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 3: reason now I feel like social media is almost like antagonistic.

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Speaker 3: It's almost the opposite of positive for a lot of

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Speaker 3: people's mental health.

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Speaker 2: Your social media will tell you, will fuel you.

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Speaker 3: Into a spiral or downfall. Is there to validate whatever

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Speaker 3: you're you're going through. God, it will tell you that

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Speaker 3: the whole world is wrong and it shit change and

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Speaker 3: you're the one that's right. And a therapist will sit

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Speaker 3: you down and be like, okay, so this is what

436
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 3: you have in this situation. Here's some here's some things

437
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,199
Speaker 3: we can try. Because you seem like a person that

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00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,879
Speaker 3: would like to catch a plane. If you're having an

439
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 3: anxiety attack every time you get to the airport, then

440
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 3: we're gonna start thinking what are we gonna We're gonna

441
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 3: do some counting, you know we're gonna do We're gonna

442
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 3: look around and try to place ourselves in different places.

443
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 3: And another thing too is people will take that go

444
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 3: back to Twitter or Facebook and be like, can you

445
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 3: believe my told me I just need to count no

446
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 3: airlines need to have twelve feet between everybody.

447
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 2: And it's like, well, I mean, what are you wanting

448
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 2: to tell you?

449
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 4: Right?

450
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 2: You right?

451
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,880
Speaker 3: Dap up, Hey, nothing's gonna change in your life. See

452
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 3: you next week with the same anxiety. Like I think

453
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 3: I think that's the difference because social media is and

454
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 3: I bring this example up all the time.

455
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 2: I'm sure everyone's tired.

456
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:26,719
Speaker 3: Of hearing it, but it is, you know, I may

457
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 3: destroy you at the doctor's office. It is just like, hey,

458
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 3: you know this is a hereditary thing. This could you know?

459
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 3: This is your high blood pressure? Is this could be

460
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: caused by stress. You may need to reduce that. And

461
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 3: it's so on going. How dare you talk to my

462
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 3: friend and tell them that because they're Afro Caribbean they

463
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 3: may be exposed to higher It's like, because I'm a

464
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 3: fucking doctor, it's either this or I just.

465
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 2: Go, hey, whatever, everyone has different.

466
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 3: Types of bodies. Whatever, Hey, look five hundred blood pressure.

467
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: Who gives a fuck, right, go have a stroke like

468
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: they're supposed to do job. And then everybody else seems

469
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 3: like the opposite, like we think protecting you is wrapping

470
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 3: you in bubble tape and then going it's the world's.

471
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 6: Fault and everyone's wrong for not also carrying around bubble

472
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 6: tape for you. I mean, we talk about this all

473
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,360
Speaker 6: the time too, where it's like one person's self care

474
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 6: is another person's you know, uh, harassment or you know

475
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 6: what I mean, like like it's it's it's so it's

476
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 6: devolved into this into a place where everyone knows more

477
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 6: than the people who know, right, everyone knows more than

478
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 6: the people who know everyone. And I think there's a

479
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 6: really valid conversation to be had about medical maltreatment and

480
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 6: malpractice and people who aren't listening and and that's absolutely real.

481
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 4: But it's not it's not I'm gonna say this is

482
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 4: not gonna in trouble. It's disproportionate.

483
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 6: It's disproportionate to what it may appear on on Twitter.

484
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think we run people run to what

485
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 3: makes them feel good a lot of times. And you know,

486
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 3: social media is not in a way, it's in a

487
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 3: large part is not real. So it's a place I

488
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 3: can run to. And it's just my side of the

489
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 3: story too, So like I can just go to you

490
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,919
Speaker 3: and be like, can you believe I walked in the

491
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 3: doctor's office and they said no niggers aloud and you're like,

492
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 3: what the fuck?

493
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 2: I would never go back to the doctor. It's like,

494
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 2: did that happen? Who fucking knows? Is that real? Who knows?

495
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 3: But that's how they made me feel good that everyone

496
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 3: on Twitter told me stopped going And that's that might

497
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 3: be that's.

498
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 5: What I want to Yeah, yeah, that's what I wanted.

499
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 7: And BOSSI for somebody that has been going to therapyfore

500
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 7: in an extensive period of time, because I've never been,

501
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 7: what would you suggest to somebody who's listening right now

502
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 7: that might be considering going to therapy, like like in

503
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 7: there kind of may have anxiety about it and I

504
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 7: know what to do or anything like that, Like what

505
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 7: is their expectations? Because like that's for me. I know

506
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 7: this might sound weird for me. Roger was going to

507
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 7: therapy and own the low key. I was doing his

508
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 7: assignments too, even though they didn't apply to me.

509
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 5: He get a vision bull. I want a vision boy too,

510
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 5: and I.

511
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 7: Finally need to go go on my own separate from him.

512
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 4: It's important. I mean, here's the thing, and I'll say this.

513
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,200
Speaker 6: I have been going to therapy off and on since

514
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 6: I was diagnosed in two thousand and four.

515
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 4: But here's the thing.

516
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 6: I've gone from literally four five times a week because

517
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 6: I was trying to save my life, to once a

518
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 6: week to once every two weeks to once a month,

519
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 6: and now I'm on an I needed basis. Like I

520
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 6: told to my therapist with today's Monday, I spoke to

521
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 6: her on Thursday, and I hadn't spoken term like two

522
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 6: months because I didn't need to, because she has provided

523
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 6: me with the tools necessary to.

524
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,719
Speaker 4: Navigate the things that I needed. I'm out of medical danger,

525
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,679
Speaker 4: I'm out of immediate crisis.

526
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 6: So because of that, there's no need for me to

527
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 6: see her, you know, consistently. Now it's like something came up,

528
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,239
Speaker 6: like something came up, and it's something that you know,

529
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 6: I talked to my friends about, I talked to Rod about,

530
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 6: I've talked to another friend. But I wanted my therapist

531
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 6: perspective because I wanted to make sure that I was

532
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 6: approaching it from a healthy place and not from you know,

533
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 6: because she knows me in a different way than my

534
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 6: friends do. So even though I'd had a conversation with

535
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 6: my friends, and I was like, Okay, I feel like

536
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,479
Speaker 6: I know what I'm talking about. I feel like I'm

537
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 6: solid in this. I'm going to take it to my

538
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 6: therapist because she knows the other conversations, you know, that

539
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 6: might be affecting or coloring the way that I see this,

540
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 6: And so I had a conversation with her about that.

541
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 6: But one of the things that she's done, like recently

542
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 6: is like reinforcing like do you and this is like

543
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 6: the best, Like do you know where you were five

544
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,880
Speaker 6: years ago? You would never have even brought this up

545
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 6: to me. You would not have brought this up, and

546
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 6: let alone bring it up. And while you're talking about it,

547
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 6: realize what you're saying. And then by the end of

548
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,239
Speaker 6: the sentence, you've already you know, gotten to where I

549
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 6: would have stepped in because you have those tools.

550
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 4: We've worked on this.

551
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 6: So for me, that's what is the most helpful, outside

552
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 6: of like being in crisis mode outside and like trying

553
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 6: to save my life actively.

554
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 4: Outside of of.

555
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 6: That, like that that that medical emergency type stuff. For me,

556
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 6: it's about learning how to navigate the world in the

557
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 6: healthiest possible way, learning how to be in this world

558
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 6: in the healthiest manner that I possibly can, knowing that

559
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 6: you know I have I have. I keep saying tools

560
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 6: because Rod said it a bad influence, but like had

561
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,239
Speaker 6: on the tools in your arsenal that says, Okay, this

562
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 6: wasn't as bad as the other thing I learned, but

563
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 6: because it isn't, I still I still know how to

564
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 6: scale it and.

565
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 4: Walk through it.

566
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 6: An example, like back in twenty sixteen, I was like,

567
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 6: in the worst place I've ever been in my life.

568
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 4: I was not going to make it. It was it was.

569
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 6: It was around this time I was done for I

570
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 6: was like, thank y'all, it's been fun.

571
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 4: Shout out to everybody you know like that.

572
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 6: I was there and my therapist knew that she couldn't

573
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 6: go straight into no, you have to stay here because

574
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 6: da Dad. She knew that I couldn't do that, but

575
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 6: she knew how to like push me a little bit

576
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 6: further and further and further until two months later I forgot,

577
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 6: not forgot, but like I, it wasn't as as pressing

578
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 6: as before because she has she has, she had. The

579
00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 6: best therapist doesn't take you anywhere, doesn't tell you you anything.

580
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 4: It helps. They help you get there.

581
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 6: They help you realize they help you understand what's best

582
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 6: for you. Because I know what she says to me

583
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 6: is a therapist is not the same thing she's saying

584
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 6: to her other clients. It's not it's not a one

585
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 6: size fits all type situation. Uh, I didn't talk a

586
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 6: couple of months ago for the American Counseling Association or

587
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 6: they're a kenote And I was, you know, talking about

588
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 6: like my experiences with therapy, and and one thing that

589
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 6: I that I had to bring up is the fact

590
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 6: that I come from an immigrant, a black immigrant family.

591
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 6: My family is super important to me. Any conversation that

592
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 6: starts with you need to stop talking to.

593
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 4: Your family is a non starter for me. We can't

594
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 4: go anywhere else from there because that's not an option

595
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 4: for me. So any therapist that's saying don't ever talk

596
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 4: to your parents, you know, leave and ed up, blah

597
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 4: blah blah. If you are.

598
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 6: Someone who has whose parents and family means a lot

599
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 6: to them, there are ways to like exist in your

600
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 6: family that is healthy for you, that isn't necessarily completely

601
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 6: abandoning everything and just being on your own. And then

602
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 6: now you've got to figure out how to exist on

603
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 6: your own right because it just it's not it's not healthy.

604
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 4: And going back, social media tells you.

605
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 6: All the time, don't talk to your mother, fuck your father,

606
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 6: don't ever pick up the.

607
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 4: Phone again, they don't.

608
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 6: They don't deserve to know why you don't speak to

609
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 6: them like that. That's not realistic, which is really and

610
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 6: it's not healthy.

611
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 2: It's really scary too.

612
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 3: When I see that happen because people will say that

613
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 3: as advice to quote unquote protect yourself, while we really

614
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 3: only know half of a story, right, we just know

615
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 3: what that person told us. But then at the same time,

616
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 3: every person is one tweet away from that entire mob

617
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 3: being like and fuck you too, right, So I'm like,

618
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 3: you never really won't get too reliant on that.

619
00:31:59,200 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 2: It really helped me.

620
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 3: You have friends like you and Nicole my Man justin

621
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 3: like people like that that I can be like, you know,

622
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 3: there's been plenty of times in the last couple of

623
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 3: years where something I would have reacted to and then

624
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 3: the reaction to my reaction would have been like another

625
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 3: dopamine hit. I've just taken to like privately, like, yo,

626
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 3: this person did this weird thing. What do you think

627
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 3: about this? And then you know and because they know

628
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: me and they know my default. They don't just tell

629
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 3: me like the power fantasy of like and then say

630
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 3: fucking Rod and like that.

631
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 4: Like like they walk away in.

632
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, exact video.

633
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 3: It's like and then when I feel bad about that

634
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 3: shit later be like, yeah, you shouldn't have did that.

635
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 2: You know you don't do that, So I think.

636
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 3: And the other thing is you brought up self responsibility earlier,

637
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 3: and I think people it has a bad connotation to it.

638
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 2: For a lot of people, it's like.

639
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 3: Oh, you know, they think of the Republican you know, like,

640
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 3: so why aren't you be respons for yourself? And it's like,

641
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 3: but that's to a certain extent.

642
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: What people I understand is that is the essence.

643
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 3: Of everything you only know. You can't really just depend

644
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 3: on anyone else. You can't depend on the world to.

645
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 2: Change and fix itself for you overnight.

646
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 3: Once you figure out what's going on with you yourself,

647
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 3: you then that it does.

648
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 2: Become about what am I gonna do?

649
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 3: Because, as BOSSI alluded to, you was trying to save

650
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 3: your life so you can It can't be about how

651
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 3: other people feel all the time and what makes them

652
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 3: feel good or what makes them feel bad. Sometimes it

653
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 3: has to be like, well, at the end of the day,

654
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 3: what's gonna keep me here or what's gonna keep me

655
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 3: on the right path and all of that stuff, and

656
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 3: you can find all that out and in Vossi's book,

657
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 3: I'm telling the truth, but I'm lying available part.

658
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 7: Come on, come on, and I'm here to promote the

659
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 7: audio book. I did the audio book, and I'm gonna

660
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 7: tell you right now it was such a I don't

661
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 7: think I have to hell, I don't know if I

662
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 7: told you this directly. It was such a joy because

663
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 7: when it came out, I was like, I don't want

664
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 7: to read it. I want to get the book because

665
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 7: I was like I want to hear her words, like

666
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 7: like I like to hear.

667
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 5: Your voice and listening to it. This is when we

668
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,319
Speaker 5: was in the office. So when we was in the office, I.

669
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 7: Was listening to it, and there were periods of time

670
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 7: while I was sitting at my desk and I was

671
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 7: like I understand, you know, and just crying, And then

672
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 7: there was times of joy.

673
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 5: It's like it was a.

674
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:37,479
Speaker 7: Wonderful emotional rollercoaster that I was glad that I took

675
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 7: with you.

676
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,760
Speaker 2: I think the thing that.

677
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm sorry I mean to interrupt the black love.

678
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:53,720
Speaker 2: I love it. I want you know what I'm dream

679
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: my dream you.

680
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 5: Have black men, dude, one day I'm gonna meet you

681
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,800
Speaker 5: in real life. I really am.

682
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 4: Definitely covid STT the first time.

683
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 5: It won't take it the next time.

684
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 4: So h no, absolutely absolutely.

685
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 3: The thing I was gonna say too about the book

686
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 3: is like the first half to maybe even three fours

687
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: is trying to figure out what's going on with you.

688
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 3: And I think that's the thing that has changed since

689
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 3: twenty eleven, Since two thousand and four, everyone thinks they

690
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 3: already know. Like everyone's just like, I know what this is.

691
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 3: I saw an episode of House and it's just like,

692
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 3: that's that's probably not how that works, you know, And

693
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 3: I mean, but it is. I guess, how do you

694
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 3: feel about there being more awareness and more resources, you know,

695
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 3: just in general, you know, as compared to two thousand

696
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 3: and four.

697
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 4: In general.

698
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 6: I started talking about it openly in two thousand and

699
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 6: four because I felt so alone. I thought that, you know,

700
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 6: number one, what I knew of bipolar from like you know, TV,

701
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 6: like news reports.

702
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 4: Or random shows didn't feel like anything that I had experienced.

703
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 4: I never experienced anything.

704
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 6: I wasn't like, I'm slow to anger, I'm not like

705
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 6: a rage person, and they all seemed like really big rages.

706
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 4: I was like, so that's not me.

707
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 6: And then on top of that, you put a bipolar

708
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 6: two electric googloo on it.

709
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 4: And I really don't know what you're talking about. That

710
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 4: absolutely isn't me.

711
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 6: But when they read the symptoms of bipolar till, I

712
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,760
Speaker 6: was like, crap, that is me. But it still feels

713
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 6: fake and it feels like I'm the only person.

714
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 4: I'm definitely the only black person. So I start speaking

715
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 4: about it and I found, you know, community.

716
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 6: I found other people who were also looking for other

717
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 6: people who share the diagnoses, just so they would, you know,

718
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 6: wouldn't feel alone. And I feel less alone as far

719
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 6: as the diagnoses goes. I will say that over the

720
00:36:55,560 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 6: last couple of years, I feel less in community with

721
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 6: what that diagnosis means. Right, So it's less about oh,

722
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 6: there's no one there like me. It's like, oh, everyone,

723
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 6: there's a lot of people out here like me, but

724
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 6: there are very few people who are handling it the

725
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 6: way that I'm comfortable handling it for myself.

726
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:17,720
Speaker 4: And that's the main difference.

727
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 6: I'm always going to be happier that people are talking

728
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 6: about it than I ever was when people were tooishitting

729
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 6: to talk about it.

730
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,959
Speaker 4: Always that said, I really want for us.

731
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 6: Another thing that my therapist and I worked on for

732
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 6: a long time that I just it's just like a

733
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:40,879
Speaker 6: reflex for me now is mindfulness training, where I take

734
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:46,280
Speaker 6: because so much of bipolar two specifically is about impulse

735
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 6: control and like, you know, not fitting things through and

736
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 6: just like you're in the middle of something before you

737
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 6: realize you even started doing it.

738
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 4: So now everything.

739
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 6: Takes like a like a like a pause before I comment,

740
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 6: a pause before I respond or react or even sometimes

741
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 6: and then that's this is where you come in as

742
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 6: a friend.

743
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 4: I'm like, should I be mad at this? Because I

744
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 4: feel like I shouldn't be, but I don't know. And

745
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,399
Speaker 4: then sometimes you're like, nah, don't worry about it. I'm like, okay, cool.

746
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 6: But that that's mindfulness training, and that's and that's something

747
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 6: that I wish I wish was more supported because I

748
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 6: don't think that happens now. I haven't tweeted in like

749
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 6: like two weeks because I was tweeting things and then

750
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 6: people were like taking it wrong, and.

751
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 4: I was like, first of all, and I was like,

752
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,800
Speaker 4: oh no, that's.

753
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 6: Not healthy for me, That's not how I don't want

754
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:45,280
Speaker 6: to ever respond in a way that I'm I'm finger

755
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 6: flying before I thought it all the way through. So

756
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 6: what I'm just not going to I'm not going to

757
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 6: tweet until I feel like a I can come back

758
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 6: and be, you know, and be mindful of the way

759
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 6: I'm using it. I didn't tweet for six months, and

760
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 6: I can't because I want to talk about snowfall. And

761
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 6: then I stayed and got trapped in the in the

762
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 6: Twitter loop and not.

763
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 4: Using it for what it is.

764
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 6: That was I sinned, enjoyable just having conversations about, you know,

765
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 6: random shit in the world.

766
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 4: So yeah, so so so. I don't remember what your

767
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:15,399
Speaker 4: question was, but I'm gonna answer one.

768
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: You be you've been dropping gyms the whole time.

769
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 4: I think.

770
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 3: Also, the immediacy of social media is in direct conflict

771
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 3: with answer now.

772
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,760
Speaker 7: Everything is I want to see something happens, and everybody

773
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 7: wants an immediate response. This is something that me and

774
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 7: Rogers has kind of been talking about on the show periodically.

775
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 5: When we talk about it, everything is answer now.

776
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 7: It's like an event happens and then somebody with a

777
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 7: microphone and the camera sticks a sticks it in your

778
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 7: face and say.

779
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 5: How do you feel about this? That's not how you feel.

780
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 5: You were like, let me digest it, let me process.

781
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 2: And you might not know what the fuck you're talking about, right,

782
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 2: You might need to learn.

783
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 3: I saw so many people that clearly did not have

784
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 3: the range just speaking on ship, where you're just like,

785
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 3: you know, you found out you know why you're saying

786
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,720
Speaker 3: what you're saying. You're saying it because you saw someone

787
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 3: else says. That's never a good reason to me, you know,

788
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 3: And I think what a lot. The way I view

789
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 3: social media is that so much is content based and

790
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 3: content oriented. What people think are moral imposters are not

791
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,280
Speaker 3: their content driven imposts.

792
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 2: It's for your entertainment. You want to consume these people.

793
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 3: It's why people say stuff like silence is complicity and

794
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 3: then they want to and then a celebrity speaks up

795
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 3: on something, they go, shut the fuck up, who asked you?

796
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 3: It's like, this is all for your interaction one way

797
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 3: or another with these people. And like I said, the

798
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 3: immediacy of social media is at direct odds with mindfulness.

799
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 3: Karen does this and BOSSI does this. Too, where somebody

800
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 3: says some sideways shit to them on social media and

801
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 3: then they'll hit me up like what you think about this?

802
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 3: But it's honestly that that process, even that moment of

803
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 3: like I'm not gonna respond right away to this person right,

804
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 3: a lot of times it can knock shit out, you know,

805
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 3: because everyone so a while people will compliment me on

806
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 3: my like use of social media, I'm like, man, you're

807
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 3: so nice or you so good at people.

808
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's not even that.

809
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 3: I just really just try to have to think of

810
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 3: them as like these motherfuckers that keep making me mad.

811
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 2: I just try to think like, well, what could they

812
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 2: have possibly thought? I meant, how could that have got confused?

813
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 2: You know?

814
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 3: That's how I try to approach it, because that's how

815
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 3: I would approach you. That's how it approach you.

816
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 7: Right, And I think for me, the biggest reason why

817
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 7: I ask you first in certain situations because reading where's

818
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 7: mean things to me?

819
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 5: Where's actually mean thinks to me?

820
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 7: And how I interpret it means I can't read your tone,

821
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 7: like tone is not tone is dead online. So me

822
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 7: hearing you saying, I'd be like, okay, but you're typing it.

823
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 5: Out I'm like, I don't know now, I don't know

824
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 5: how am I.

825
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 7: Supposed to take what you're saying, you know, because it's

826
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 7: been some times where and they are pure fans of

827
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 7: the show, and Roger be like they didn't mean no Harman,

828
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 7: I'd be like, oh, okay, but when.

829
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 5: I'm reading it how I interpret it might not be

830
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 5: the way.

831
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 2: Sometimes people do mean harm, but you don't have to

832
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,879
Speaker 2: let it harm. You agree, you know what I mean?

833
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 4: There you go? Why am I even here? Period? Absolutely?

834
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 5: That's it.

835
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 4: That's that's the that's the black ass bottom line.

836
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 5: That's it.

837
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 4: Like it's it's it's a it's a choice. And I.

838
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 6: When it's funny what you were saying, Karen, because when

839
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 6: I haven't been on Clubhouse in months, but when Clubhouse

840
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 6: was around, I was like, oh, I absolutely can't read

841
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 6: tone and some of y'all are assholes.

842
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 4: Your assholes on tweets and your assholes is your voice.

843
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 5: Come out?

844
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 7: That's that's why I have to separate too, Yes, because

845
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 7: I used to. I used to love going in there

846
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 7: every day with bossing and in the Dragon Slayer room

847
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 7: and stuff.

848
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 5: But I was like, you know what, I might have

849
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 5: to pull away from this whole platform.

850
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is that is straight up.

851
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 3: You just want to tell some people like you sound

852
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 3: just like your tweets.

853
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, you sound just.

854
00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 4: Like something that Ride and I talked all the time.

855
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 4: Is how people like.

856
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 6: The worst possible take, the worst possible way something could

857
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 6: be taken is the way that people will take it.

858
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 6: And then we'll run on that assumption that what they

859
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 6: thought you meant is what you actually meant, and will

860
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:16,720
Speaker 6: argue with you.

861
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,760
Speaker 4: We'll talk shit about you will be in your mentions

862
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 4: and other people's.

863
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 6: Mentions for years to come because they misunderstood your intent

864
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 6: and they don't want to hear it.

865
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 4: They do not want to hear anything.

866
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 6: And I think that's going back to what you were

867
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 6: saying before. It's like when people ask you what do

868
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 6: you think about this thing? Before you had a moment

869
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 6: to digest it, and you have to come up with

870
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 6: a take. It's also pretty. It's also really discouraging because

871
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 6: you can't take it back. You can't change your mind.

872
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 6: You can't say, oh, I have more information now and

873
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,800
Speaker 6: now I don't feel that way anymore. You either have

874
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 6: to say nothing, never bring it up, never admit that

875
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 6: you were wrong, or pretend you don't know this new information,

876
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 6: and keep going because there's something very I hate going

877
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,840
Speaker 6: keep going back to like these you know, private conversations.

878
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 4: Ride and I have.

879
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 6: But like one thing that Rod does that I really

880
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,319
Speaker 6: appreciate is that I'll bring something to him.

881
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 4: I'm like, look at this, I'm about.

882
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 6: To cut this person out, but I'm gonna I'm thinking

883
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 6: about it. And then what he'll do. He'll click on

884
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 6: the on the tweet and then he'll click on that

885
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 6: person's timeline and they're like oh, and then he'll bring

886
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 6: a tweet and they're like, look, this is what this

887
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 6: person thinks about. This person is not okay, Like this

888
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 6: person is upset about some ship that happened last Tuesday.

889
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 4: Get it exactly. Everybody can get it. And I'm like,

890
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,839
Speaker 4: and that's something that I have to learn to start doing,

891
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 4: to see what the entire like as much as I possibly.

892
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 6: Can, how much this person is bringing to a conversation

893
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 6: that they weren't invited to, and I can choose to

894
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 6: like take them up on it and let's go.

895
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,399
Speaker 2: I've been watching you.

896
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 4: I get shoulder.

897
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, I can.

898
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 6: I can choose to go toe to toe or I

899
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 6: can choose to walk away. And I think a lot

900
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 6: of times on Twitter people have this like this thing

901
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 6: that comes with them outside.

902
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 4: Of Twitter, where they don't want to lose. They don't

903
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 4: want to be wrong.

904
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 6: Somebody told them that if they're wrong or if they

905
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 6: lose a fight, then they're horrible and they'll never amount

906
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 6: to anything. So they come to Twitter where they will

907
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 6: spar with any and everybody, any any topic, any situation.

908
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 4: They're flying in to to fight with somebody about it,

909
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:38,959
Speaker 4: and you start to see who those people are.

910
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,239
Speaker 6: You start to see those patterns, Like I'll put on

911
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:45,320
Speaker 6: like a CNN headline and I'll see the same names

912
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 6: who who are under my name, you know, fighting with

913
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 6: me over something. I was like, oh, okay, so this

914
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 6: has nothing to do with me, so I'm not going

915
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 6: to take it on whatever.

916
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,720
Speaker 3: Because if you're not fighting other people, if you're fighting

917
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 3: other people, you're not fighting yourself. And I think a

918
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,919
Speaker 3: lot of folks don't want to sit in that ring

919
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 3: with themselves and box whatever demons they have and whatever

920
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 3: things they come with. Like I used to be like

921
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 3: I would see this a lot on Facebook. There would

922
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 3: be people that consistently are in arguments fights different people's

923
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 3: pages and threads always like with this energy of like

924
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 3: a hornet, you know what I mean? Like, yes, like

925
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 3: I'm here to sting. I don't pollinate plants. I just

926
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:27,880
Speaker 3: log on and I steen people.

927
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,439
Speaker 5: I burn everything down.

928
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 2: And I think that to me, though, is a huge like.

929
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 3: It kind of woke me up to be like, wait,

930
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 3: so what does this m post look like inside of

931
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,240
Speaker 3: me then? Because if it's inside of you and we're

932
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 3: connected because these algorithms be knowing us better than ourselves,

933
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 3: it's telling me like you into this shit too, And

934
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 3: I'm like, I need to get out of this cause

935
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 3: that's not even me in real life, Like I don't

936
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 3: walk around trying to start shit with people, like I

937
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 3: want to be as consistent and even as I am,

938
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 3: you know, in real life as I am with my

939
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:01,280
Speaker 3: Internet presence.

940
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,439
Speaker 2: But I think that that need.

941
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 3: For people to see something, take it the worst way,

942
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 3: and then never relent is this thing where it's like

943
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 3: I have to say that this is true because if

944
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 3: you take it back from me, then I don't have

945
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 3: the content, I don't have the interaction. I don't have

946
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 3: the moral superiority and high ground. Yes, And what's wild

947
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 3: about that is there's still plenty of people saying terrible

948
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 3: things that you don't even have to be ambiguous about.

949
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:35,800
Speaker 2: Like some people are all careful with that, Like if you get.

950
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 3: Mad at BOSSI is so careful with her words and

951
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 3: her thoughts, and she's you know what I'm saying, She's

952
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 3: considering seventeen different fucking angles on like and then someone

953
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 3: would still be like, yeah, but what about this that

954
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 3: that person literally is just looking for a wall to

955
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 3: hit a tennis ball in two right, right, But then

956
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 3: there's also people out there that will kill some celebrities.

957
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 3: Somebody will be like, they just someone voluntar, here's a

958
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 3: horrible take every single day.

959
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 5: Yes, they do.

960
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 3: You could choose that person rather than try to find

961
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,439
Speaker 3: these other folks and to take a one more step

962
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 3: and I'll pass you care. You could also choose to

963
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 3: not engage with those terrible people as well, like.

964
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 2: That's how.

965
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

966
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 2: Like I saw.

967
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 3: Felicia Rashats like what she said on Twitter, and I

968
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,919
Speaker 3: was just like, then that's terrible, Like like like there's

969
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:29,359
Speaker 3: no like.

970
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 2: Hey, Felicia, you need to know, like that's terrible.

971
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 3: You should prey I mean, everybody knows that's terrible. That's

972
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 3: a horrible thing to say, you're gonna end up having

973
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,320
Speaker 3: problems at your job or whatever.

974
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 2: But the need for something.

975
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 3: Inside of me to like show every cause that's really

976
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:48,399
Speaker 3: what I'm doing to quote you, so I can show

977
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 3: everybody else that I'm surprised everybody not okay with a

978
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 3: serial rapist if I need to show everybody how good

979
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 3: a person I am to not like Bill Ksey and

980
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 3: his friends, Like where is that coming from?

981
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 6: But you know what else on that, on that, on that,

982
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,959
Speaker 6: on that note, though, it's like, uh, when people think

983
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 6: that they have the moral upper hand, which means that

984
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 6: they can be as vicious and horrible and and and

985
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 6: come to you every single day to remind you of

986
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 6: something terrible because their thoughts on it are morally superior.

987
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 6: So any any any method they have to convey their

988
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 6: moral superiority is okay. Which I find that's the one

989
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 6: that I you know, I can never.

990
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 4: Wrap my mind around that.

991
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 6: I was like, okay, so how is it okay?

992
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 4: This is wrong? But how was your method not okay?

993
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 2: How is that okay?

994
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 7: About to say yeah, I got yeah, I got seven things,

995
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 7: Go ahead, break it down to piggyback what you were

996
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 7: saying and just because black people come out on certain

997
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 7: things and claim that they are superior, because a lot

998
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 7: of times people always want to put this on white

999
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 7: people and white supremacists. This happens within a lot of

1000
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,360
Speaker 7: black circles too, and I'm talking about me. It happens

1001
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 7: with black women because something that I've realized over the

1002
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 7: years of just dealing with just people across the across

1003
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 7: social media, people will do things for their own glory

1004
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 7: and not for the reasoning that they claimed it.

1005
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 5: They're they're so when a lot of times when people.

1006
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 7: Go black girl, magic, black Girl, rock, black girl, this

1007
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,240
Speaker 7: black girl that a few years ago, everybody was falling

1008
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 7: into those tropes and everybody was.

1009
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 5: Like right rah rah, yeah black girl.

1010
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 7: Some people like me came into it with love, like

1011
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 7: like true love, going okay, if we really about this,

1012
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:52,399
Speaker 7: I love all black women like like across the board

1013
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 7: that I'm not put you in those groups. I'm not

1014
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 7: there's no hickey, I'm not separating you out or anything

1015
00:50:58,080 --> 00:50:58,399
Speaker 7: like that.

1016
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 5: I was really cheering for everybody black.

1017
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 7: But what I've over the years, what I've realized is

1018
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 7: that some people use that as a tool to beat

1019
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 7: in dmean, I just go ahead, oh, Utensel, I'm sorry

1020
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 7: it was you, temp Sol, I'm sorry, like a knife

1021
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,479
Speaker 7: in the fork because what they did, they went around

1022
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 7: and they were just cutting everybody, every black woman that

1023
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 7: didn't agree with them. They didn't bow down to them,

1024
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 7: they didn't fit in their hicky, they didn't look like them,

1025
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,399
Speaker 7: they wasn't in their group. They would literally get rid

1026
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,520
Speaker 7: of you, like you did not exist. And then when

1027
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,439
Speaker 7: they're called out on this behavior, because this behavior becomes

1028
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 7: a pattern, like we said, it becomes a pattern.

1029
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 5: So when people be like.

1030
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 7: Hey, you know, why do you keep blah blah blah

1031
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 7: blah blah blah blah, they turn around, they use these techniques.

1032
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 7: They're mean, they're bitter, they're nasty, they'll put lives out

1033
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 7: there about you. They're like you don't exist. They'll send

1034
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 7: people at you. But you told me we was about

1035
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 7: black girl magic. That's what you told me.

1036
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:05,799
Speaker 2: Well, you kicked out the magic. You're not magic with

1037
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: no more.

1038
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 7: Right, I'm not magical no more. And so it's like

1039
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 7: for me, I'm speaking for myself. For me, it was

1040
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 7: devastating and heartbreaking for me, like for me personally, just

1041
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,839
Speaker 7: for relationships that I've dealt with and I sat down,

1042
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 7: I talked to Roger Goobiden. I cried about that thing

1043
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 7: because I was like, but you told me it was

1044
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 7: black girl magic.

1045
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 5: I'm a black girl.

1046
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 7: So my feelings and my opinions and the things that

1047
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 7: how I feel about this, all of a sudden, they

1048
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 7: don't matter no more.

1049
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 2: Black girl magic for everybody that agrees one hundred percent

1050
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 2: of the time.

1051
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 5: Right, And so for me, that's the.

1052
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 2: Parting quotes I mean in parentheses, right.

1053
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 7: So for me, that's when I got a right. That's

1054
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 7: when I got a better understanding of social media, you know,

1055
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 7: because I'm not big on groups and clicks and all

1056
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:50,399
Speaker 7: that shit. I don't care about what most of y'all

1057
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 7: saying online. I'm not even gonna lie I could give

1058
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 7: a rat says about what most people are talking about.

1059
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 5: I go on post my food picks and my happy.

1060
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 7: Thoughts, and I just check off line and I'm fine

1061
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,240
Speaker 7: with that, like like all the other things.

1062
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 4: You know.

1063
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 5: I talked to Roger about it, and we talk on

1064
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 5: the show about it.

1065
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 7: But I feel like the older I get, the the

1066
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,440
Speaker 7: the It's not that I don't care, because I do

1067
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 7: care about things. I have learned that there are a

1068
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 7: lot of things to raise my blood pressure about. There

1069
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,879
Speaker 7: are a lot of things that I but but they

1070
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,640
Speaker 7: need to be things that are serious. I'm not raising

1071
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 7: my blood pressure about everything that somebody says. O, Lie,

1072
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 7: I'm not gonna have a heart attack and drop dead

1073
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 7: because I'm always angry and I'm always in the flight

1074
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:32,840
Speaker 7: of fight mode.

1075
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 5: And being around a.

1076
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 7: Lot of these women, and like a lot of these

1077
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 7: black I realized they were angry and a lot of

1078
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,240
Speaker 7: the anger was rolling on me, and it was starting

1079
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:42,439
Speaker 7: to make me angry too.

1080
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:48,880
Speaker 4: And before I know, I'm not nodding what you're saying, so.

1081
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 5: And I'm just kiping it.

1082
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:54,719
Speaker 7: I realized my personality started to change, like all of

1083
00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 7: a sudden, the very happy and bubbly person was short.

1084
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:02,839
Speaker 7: I didn't have patience, you know, I wasn't looking at

1085
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 7: people the same.

1086
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 5: Everybody became an end to me.

1087
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 7: I was caring about ship that I didn't give a

1088
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 7: fuck about, and can about celebrities that I could give

1089
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 7: a fuck about, you know, based off of the circles

1090
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:12,880
Speaker 7: that I was.

1091
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 3: I think also, though, uh, it's not just that they're

1092
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 3: angry or whatever I want all So you're looking at

1093
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 3: black women.

1094
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:24,320
Speaker 2: Any group, any hold on, hold on, when finished.

1095
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to I'm just I'm just trying to clarify.

1096
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:31,720
Speaker 2: All these groups.

1097
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 3: Every group we think like, we look at the Internet

1098
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 3: and we go, oh, look what happened to right wing people.

1099
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:42,399
Speaker 3: Look what happened to gamers, Look what happened to people

1100
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 3: who like Zack Snyder's movies, And it's like, what are

1101
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 3: these one What these groups have in common? It's online

1102
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 3: community dynamics, and it creates the anger.

1103
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,439
Speaker 2: People rise to the top.

1104
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 3: The community can center around harassment and uh and uh.

1105
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:01,720
Speaker 3: All the things that you read in the textbook about

1106
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 3: narcissism is what works on such media.

1107
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 5: I was just about to say that, and that's what happens.

1108
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 2: You end up.

1109
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 3: So it's like, are you actually in a group of

1110
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 3: like minded black women and y'all are having great time.

1111
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: It's not like you have a problem with black women

1112
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 2: in real life.

1113
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,479
Speaker 3: It's not like you don't have black family members, black

1114
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 3: women friends. So it's not like there's some inherent thing

1115
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 3: about black women. It's something about the platform of being

1116
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:28,280
Speaker 3: online and the tools that turns everybody into like flying monkeys.

1117
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 3: It's we, Hey, today, we're going at such and such

1118
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,439
Speaker 3: and that's what everyone groups around. So what I think

1119
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 3: is not it's not truly angered. That is the center

1120
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 3: in these communities. It's loneliness. And this is not this

1121
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 3: is our thing to commiserate co miserable to commiserate around.

1122
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 3: This is our thing to be, This is our thing

1123
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,040
Speaker 3: to be together around. And it's whatever the thing of

1124
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 3: the day, and sometimes it's you, it's kicking you out.

1125
00:55:57,239 --> 00:56:00,400
Speaker 3: Is the thing that we're gonna be together? Other on

1126
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,320
Speaker 3: is that we no longer like so and so and

1127
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 3: and it does stuff to be the center of that.

1128
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 4: Yes, And the thing is that that two things.

1129
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:13,399
Speaker 6: The thing is that we tend to have bought into

1130
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 6: this collective understanding.

1131
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 4: And I guess the three of us are in and

1132
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 4: out of that. But like that, there's something more evolved

1133
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 4: around the community based on on on social media or Twitter,

1134
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 4: and at the root of it, it's.

1135
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 6: The same mean girl clickish ship that they find in

1136
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 6: like monkeys and not, you know what I mean, like

1137
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 6: like in like like it's in like animal settings where

1138
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,839
Speaker 6: they're where they find the weakest one they kick them out.

1139
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 6: Same stuff that happens in high school, same stuff that

1140
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 6: happens at the workplace, like all of that stuff, because

1141
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 6: it's human behavior occurs everywhere.

1142
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 4: It's just that online.

1143
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 6: All those people, whether it be two or three people

1144
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:59,359
Speaker 6: at work or two or three people at school, it's

1145
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 6: those two or three people times a million online, right,

1146
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,799
Speaker 6: and they have and they bind together, and it makes

1147
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 6: it seems like there's more of them. And because they

1148
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 6: seem that the more of them, it makes anything they

1149
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 6: say feel more true than anything else.

1150
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 4: But going back to what we're talking.

1151
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 6: About mental health, there are people who have self diagnosed

1152
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 6: themselves as something when exhibiting behavior of something else. So

1153
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:29,880
Speaker 6: they'll call.

1154
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 4: Somebody a narcissist and just list somebody just being annoying

1155
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 4: and being whatever.

1156
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 6: But they won't let go of it, and they'll hold

1157
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 6: on to that, and they're compulsive about it, and they'll

1158
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 6: fixate on it, and they'll center every conversation that's close

1159
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 6: to that back to themselves, which is narcissistic behavior, but

1160
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 6: they're not going to call themselves a narcissist, and it's

1161
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 6: all themselves something else.

1162
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 3: It's almost difficult to not be one our social media

1163
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 3: because it's so god it's like they're funneling us alto

1164
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 3: and things like I remember we had an episode where

1165
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 3: we just read about narcissism and angry and flying monkeys,

1166
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 3: and it's.

1167
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 2: Like, uh, that's just every thing on.

1168
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 3: That's all the tools, the blocking and uting and ostracizing people,

1169
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 3: the harassment that disguise is educating and dragging people, target

1170
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 3: telling people to help you target somebody. You know, there's

1171
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 3: people I watched go for months targeting a person you

1172
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 3: know where you're like, that's fucked up. Like at some point,

1173
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 3: even if even if that person did you wrong, it's

1174
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 3: been seven months, you can move on now, you know

1175
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 3: what I mean.

1176
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 2: And everyone keeping you stuck there is not helping you.

1177
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 3: Like if they had all if that person lived in

1178
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,439
Speaker 3: your house in real life and every day you came

1179
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 3: home and kept talking about that one bitch from work,

1180
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 3: at some time, they're gonna be like, listen, baby, I

1181
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 3: understand you need.

1182
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 2: To get out that department.

1183
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 3: You gotta go to HR, you gotta do something, cause

1184
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,000
Speaker 3: I don't. I'm sick of talking about her, like I

1185
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:03,400
Speaker 3: know you sick of talking about her. So it's that

1186
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:06,439
Speaker 3: type of feeling that I think that part doesn't really

1187
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 3: happen online.

1188
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 2: Most of it is just yeah, get the bitch everything.

1189
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, you've seen you've seen how sometimes I'll tweet and

1190
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 6: then like, be very clear in.

1191
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 4: The tweet, I'm not looking for commiseration. Please, I am wrong.

1192
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 6: I am absolutely wrong in the situation. I'm just telling

1193
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 6: you something that happened. Please, don't come in here telling

1194
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 6: me that I'm correct, Like really trying to be very careful.

1195
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 6: This is not about you or your situation. It's not

1196
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 6: about I'm not right about this. I feel terrible about.

1197
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 4: This, and I get don't feel terrible. They shouldn't have

1198
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 4: They shouldn't they should have thrown their body in front

1199
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 4: of your car.

1200
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 2: I wanted I'm wrong.

1201
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:53,440
Speaker 3: I forgot my mom's birthday. It's like you forgot your

1202
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 3: mom's birthday.

1203
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 4: Good.

1204
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 2: I bet she's a bitch anyway, You're like, no.

1205
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 5: I love her very to remember my mom I love.

1206
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 4: But like I remember, I think I was talking to you.

1207
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 6: When I had this dawning and this realization that I

1208
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 6: had like what thirty five thousand followers on Twitter.

1209
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 4: I got at least thirty thousand of those.

1210
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 6: Followers when I was literally having an emotional breakdown. Yes,

1211
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 6: literally having an emotional breakdown, and people were very like, yes,

1212
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 6: I feel that way too, and that like really just

1213
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 6: like not helping me in any way, not helping me

1214
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 6: in any way, not their responsibility, not their job to

1215
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 6: help me, but also not helping me by by supporting

1216
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:37,440
Speaker 6: every thing.

1217
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 4: That I said, like like just holding on to everything.

1218
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 4: And I see it now and I watch people who

1219
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:45,920
Speaker 4: are like, yes, get them dead, blah blah blah, and

1220
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 4: I'm looking and I'm like this person right now we

1221
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 4: talked about all this time.

1222
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 6: This person is from my vantage point as somebody who

1223
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 6: has had a breakdown on Twitter. This person is having

1224
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 6: a breakdown on Twitter, and people are warning it and

1225
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:04,720
Speaker 6: they are sending them followers and retweets and dah da

1226
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 6: da da until later on when it's no longer entertaining

1227
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:11,160
Speaker 6: or the next more entertaining person comes along, and then

1228
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 6: you're just left with that that thing that you've lost

1229
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 6: control of, and there's nobody there and because.

1230
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 3: And that same that same person the next day can

1231
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 3: get on and be like I put sugar in my grits,

1232
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:29,280
Speaker 3: and it's fucking over for them, you know what I mean?

1233
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 2: Like, that should not be.

1234
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:33,640
Speaker 4: That should not be.

1235
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 3: That cannot be a place that you did that, That

1236
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,600
Speaker 3: platform can't be a place where you go to for

1237
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 3: your soul support like that cannot be. That cannot be

1238
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 3: a place I killed care with that jump, guys. That

1239
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 3: cannot be funny to me. That cannot be a place

1240
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 3: where you go to.

1241
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 2: For your underpinning of your support.

1242
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,920
Speaker 3: It just can't be because it's too fickle and if

1243
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 3: you put too much of your own And I speak

1244
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 3: from experience, like I remember there would be times I'd

1245
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:07,280
Speaker 3: say something on Twitter.

1246
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:10,160
Speaker 2: There'd be a reaction to it, a completely foreseeable.

1247
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 3: Reaction, by the way, not like what, but like, of

1248
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 3: course niggas gonna be mad at this. I just said,

1249
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 3: you know, I just went to like I told Izzi,

1250
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 3: I just went to the hater party and was like,

1251
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 3: do we really gotta be hating or whatever?

1252
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 2: The fuck?

1253
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:27,760
Speaker 3: The DJ stopped the stop the music and then turned

1254
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 3: into like pee wee herming at the bar or whatever.

1255
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 3: So I ended up being like, I just don't need

1256
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 3: to say that. It's not that I don't believe that,

1257
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:38,800
Speaker 3: but what value was there in me saying that? I

1258
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,680
Speaker 3: think this shit a lot too when it comes to

1259
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 3: like the celebrities and the people we call important.

1260
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 2: Do we really give a fuck what Felicia.

1261
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 3: Rashard thinks it doesn't really change anything for my life,

1262
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. If people that are under

1263
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 3: her purview that like really are like, we don't want

1264
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 3: you here at our school or at our job or whatever, that's.

1265
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 2: Her shit to deal with.

1266
01:02:58,360 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 5: Come on.

1267
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:03,080
Speaker 3: But me personally, I'm not gonna internalize what some fucking

1268
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 3: a person that make good music or was a good

1269
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 3: actor said, because now I'm taking on something that's not

1270
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 3: really truly affecting my life and it's making me feel affected.

1271
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:19,560
Speaker 3: And there's something about that. Shout out to Black Being

1272
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:22,920
Speaker 3: Black Angel kilta Williams book, because there was something about

1273
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:25,920
Speaker 3: that where it talks about zen and stuff, but it

1274
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 3: talks about that connection and that what our choice is

1275
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 3: in it and our mindfulness in it, and like, how

1276
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:35,960
Speaker 3: often are we taking on something and it's affecting us

1277
01:03:35,960 --> 01:03:37,920
Speaker 3: and we either deny that it's affecting us, which is

1278
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 3: a big one I used to do.

1279
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 5: For sure.

1280
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 3: I'd be like like I like, out on the outside,

1281
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 3: I'd be like, man, I don't give a fuck what

1282
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 3: these niggas saying. I know what I said and I'm right.

1283
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 3: But on the inside, you trying to make my mom.

1284
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 8: A proud You guys are not doing anything with your life.

1285
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 4: You may not see it, but.

1286
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 8: I'm trying to do I'm trying to accomplish something. You

1287
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,720
Speaker 8: guys are preventing me from that. All youall haters like

1288
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:05,720
Speaker 8: I'm trying to accomplish my dreams. If you don't like me,

1289
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:07,120
Speaker 8: just block me.

1290
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 4: I didn't do anything to you.

1291
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,040
Speaker 2: That's how I was feeling on the inside.

1292
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 3: What is that from one of the little girls that

1293
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 3: used to remember that was about four years ago, maybe two.

1294
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:28,000
Speaker 3: That was Danielle Breaking Only who's a rapper? The white

1295
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 3: girl that baby I don't know, Yeah, bad baby, catch

1296
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 3: me outside?

1297
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 2: How about that? Whatever?

1298
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:37,320
Speaker 3: Other little white girls that people were trying to make

1299
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 3: in the like, look at this little white girl.

1300
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:42,760
Speaker 2: She'd be rapping to hang around black people and stuff too.

1301
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 3: And so this was one of those little white girls

1302
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 3: that you know cusses and they were like super white,

1303
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 3: like they weren't white, and like she wrapped and ship.

1304
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 3: These were just like little white girls that had social

1305
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 3: media platforms. And one of them had made this video

1306
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 3: and I was like, that's hilarious, but.

1307
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 2: That is everybody's inside.

1308
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:07,520
Speaker 3: Boys, like you are a very loud little white girl,

1309
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 3: because that's me. Right after I tweet something like everybody

1310
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 3: can suck my dick on the inside.

1311
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 2: It's really I'm just trying to make my mama proud.

1312
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:19,320
Speaker 2: But I think.

1313
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:20,400
Speaker 5: Everybody goes through that.

1314
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:23,560
Speaker 7: And before before we move on, I think there's two

1315
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 7: things I want to say. Number One, we was talking

1316
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:30,200
Speaker 7: about people not apologizing and saying I'm sorry and things

1317
01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:30,600
Speaker 7: like that.

1318
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 5: I've realized and I know I'm not old, but I

1319
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 5: feel old. I am of the age to where sometimes

1320
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:39,360
Speaker 5: you got to take that al.

1321
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:42,439
Speaker 7: Sometimes you got to be like, you know what, I

1322
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 7: was wrong, my bad some you know, sometimes you took

1323
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:48,800
Speaker 7: it in private, sometimes you took it in public, but

1324
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:51,320
Speaker 7: you just have to be like, you know what, I

1325
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 7: got to hold this l and learn how to live

1326
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 7: with it.

1327
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 5: And the world is not going to end.

1328
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:57,560
Speaker 7: I only even got to defend it. Why do I

1329
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,600
Speaker 7: need to defend my al? Why do I have to

1330
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:03,840
Speaker 7: justify that I was wrong? Like we live in a

1331
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:06,440
Speaker 7: society and that is wrong, and you can't just be wrong.

1332
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 7: You have to justify your wrong actions. You have to

1333
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 7: say I was wrong.

1334
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:14,480
Speaker 6: People won't let you not be People won't let me

1335
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 6: be wrong and apologize and admit that you're wrong like.

1336
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 4: That they won't let you right. They will.

1337
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,920
Speaker 6: You can say I am sorry, I had I didn't

1338
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:28,720
Speaker 6: have enough information. They won't believe that you're sorry. They

1339
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:30,840
Speaker 6: want a time machine so you can go back and

1340
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 6: not do the thing that's your the thing that you

1341
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,919
Speaker 6: got wrong. That time means you can never be right

1342
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:40,000
Speaker 6: ever in your life. Ever in your life.

1343
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 4: You can't ever be right again. Something else. I wanted

1344
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 4: to say the rob buthead, yeah.

1345
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:48,720
Speaker 7: Go ahead, care And so for me, that's why some

1346
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:51,480
Speaker 7: of the best people online and some of the best

1347
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:53,320
Speaker 7: celebrities ignored the fuck.

1348
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:56,320
Speaker 5: Out of them. You have to because you will mentally

1349
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:57,280
Speaker 5: go insane.

1350
01:06:57,440 --> 01:06:58,960
Speaker 7: I'm not trying to feel like you won't all be

1351
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:02,800
Speaker 7: there if you allowed these people to never let you grow,

1352
01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:06,840
Speaker 7: to never let you evolve, and never let you change.

1353
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 5: The my fuck ups are offline.

1354
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:12,200
Speaker 7: If we would have had social media when I was

1355
01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:14,360
Speaker 7: a teenager, all my fuck ups would have been online

1356
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 7: for all the world to see. Either I my generation

1357
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:20,720
Speaker 7: is no better. We judge, we put fingers, and we

1358
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:23,919
Speaker 7: criticized these children when we was doing stupid and dumb shit.

1359
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:26,560
Speaker 5: Also, it's just not recorded.

1360
01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:29,560
Speaker 7: It's not on Snapchat, Twitter and Facebook for me to

1361
01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 7: pull up something I did back in nineteen eighty eight.

1362
01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 4: But you know what you just said, Karen, You know

1363
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 4: what you just said.

1364
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:40,600
Speaker 6: You said, these children are doing stupid and dumb shit

1365
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:43,920
Speaker 6: like we used to do. You're not saying these people

1366
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:48,160
Speaker 6: are doing amazing, sweetie, and you keep on doing that shit.

1367
01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:51,640
Speaker 6: You keep on doing that, Like that's what's happening now

1368
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:52,840
Speaker 6: where people are like trying to.

1369
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:56,040
Speaker 4: Reverse the engineer the dumb shit that we did. It's

1370
01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:57,440
Speaker 4: not just we didn't do it.

1371
01:07:57,800 --> 01:07:59,920
Speaker 6: We didn't do it, but we knew that it was

1372
01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:02,040
Speaker 6: dumb and stupid, and we're acknowledging that it was dumb

1373
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:06,880
Speaker 6: and stupid. But now everything is being repackaged. As I

1374
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 6: see stuff, sometimes we're like, oh, so you didn't murder

1375
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 6: your mom and hide her under the baseboard privilege. No,

1376
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,960
Speaker 6: I didn't do that, Like and if I didn't do that,

1377
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 6: that's terrible, that's terrible, terrible. We can't stay here and

1378
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:24,000
Speaker 6: pretend that shit that's terrible, not terrible because we used

1379
01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:25,600
Speaker 6: to do it, or so I did it before, Like

1380
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 6: it's It's one of the things that Rod was saying before,

1381
01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:34,560
Speaker 6: is like when they take when people take these celebrities

1382
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:38,000
Speaker 6: and public figures their word and like, make them like

1383
01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:41,360
Speaker 6: they said this thing, look at what they said, hold

1384
01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:44,400
Speaker 6: them to this thing that they said. What I hear

1385
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 6: is I want to be that important too. So when

1386
01:08:47,479 --> 01:08:49,840
Speaker 6: I say stuff, I want you to hold it up.

1387
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,040
Speaker 6: I'm always gonna say the right thing.

1388
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 4: Though, don't worry.

1389
01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 6: I'm always gonna say the right thing because I always

1390
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:54,760
Speaker 6: believe all the right things. I've got it, I got

1391
01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 6: it all figured out, I got all the right things.

1392
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:58,760
Speaker 6: But when I say it, you hold it up too,

1393
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:01,559
Speaker 6: because I want I want that level of I won't

1394
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:03,920
Speaker 6: say attentions. I think attention is a little bit simplistic,

1395
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:07,800
Speaker 6: but I want there's something that's missing in my everyday

1396
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:11,640
Speaker 6: life that I'm not getting that I get online and

1397
01:09:11,720 --> 01:09:14,360
Speaker 6: I need that. And in order for me to get that,

1398
01:09:14,439 --> 01:09:17,240
Speaker 6: I also need you to. I need something to juxtapose

1399
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:19,639
Speaker 6: it between. You know what I'm saying like I need

1400
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 6: I need to feel on the same level as this

1401
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:25,200
Speaker 6: and that. So when that's when you see people who

1402
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:32,439
Speaker 6: are like, somebody stole my idea, as if that thing

1403
01:09:32,479 --> 01:09:36,360
Speaker 6: could never have existed outside of your own thoughts. And

1404
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,760
Speaker 6: then when they start rallying around somebody who said that

1405
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:42,960
Speaker 6: somebody else doll and it's like, no, you didn't invent AirPods. Sorry,

1406
01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:46,400
Speaker 6: but they they'll go hard for that person because they

1407
01:09:46,439 --> 01:09:49,760
Speaker 6: want when they say that they invented tide pods, they

1408
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:52,080
Speaker 6: need you become hard to go hard for them too,

1409
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:53,720
Speaker 6: and if you don't, they need to be able to

1410
01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:55,559
Speaker 6: say I went hard for these people.

1411
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:57,640
Speaker 4: I was there, I was I was shooting.

1412
01:09:57,280 --> 01:10:01,679
Speaker 6: With them in the gym, and now they won't even

1413
01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:04,360
Speaker 6: got it.

1414
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:06,479
Speaker 3: I was with you, I was taking up on it.

1415
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,479
Speaker 3: The other thing, too, is like, that's awesome. I think

1416
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:13,000
Speaker 3: what they want is to matter, you know what I mean.

1417
01:10:14,680 --> 01:10:17,720
Speaker 3: In so many areas of life, people don't feel like

1418
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:21,839
Speaker 3: they matter. But then you can get online and you can.

1419
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:22,479
Speaker 2: Matter, you know.

1420
01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:27,240
Speaker 3: And sometimes mattering is quote tweeting Felicierius Shad and saying

1421
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:31,600
Speaker 3: something so savvy that hopefully your thing now takes on

1422
01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:33,760
Speaker 3: the life of its own and it's getting tweeted and

1423
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:36,920
Speaker 3: retweeted and interacting with it, because it can give us

1424
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:40,120
Speaker 3: the illusion of mattering in a way that you know

1425
01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:42,439
Speaker 3: that thing you really do need to do in your

1426
01:10:42,479 --> 01:10:46,000
Speaker 3: own life, whether you know, like that thing that would

1427
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,320
Speaker 3: give you that internal mattering right.

1428
01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:51,360
Speaker 2: That that thing is hard, that thing is fucking hard.

1429
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:52,880
Speaker 2: Tweet is easy.

1430
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:59,639
Speaker 5: It's a lot of hard work. If I tweet.

1431
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:04,320
Speaker 6: My last tweet was like being healthy is annoying because

1432
01:11:04,320 --> 01:11:07,200
Speaker 6: I got to consider every fucking thing I say and

1433
01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:08,320
Speaker 6: every sucking thing I do.

1434
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:09,640
Speaker 4: That's the way it should be.

1435
01:11:10,120 --> 01:11:13,200
Speaker 6: But once you realize that that is reckless and it's

1436
01:11:13,280 --> 01:11:16,479
Speaker 6: not serving you or not making your life better or

1437
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:17,719
Speaker 6: making you a better person.

1438
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,200
Speaker 4: In this world they were in.

1439
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:23,920
Speaker 6: I'm not contributing by tweeting. I'm not me having a

1440
01:11:23,960 --> 01:11:27,160
Speaker 6: hot take is not changing anything. Sometimes I'm like, Okay,

1441
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,920
Speaker 6: this conversation, I feel like I have perspective that I

1442
01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:32,240
Speaker 6: want to add to it, and then I put it

1443
01:11:32,240 --> 01:11:34,160
Speaker 6: out there and people start jumping on it.

1444
01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:35,240
Speaker 2: Delete.

1445
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:37,840
Speaker 4: I'm not married to this. I'm not married to the

1446
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:39,840
Speaker 4: response of this tweet. I don't care how many the

1447
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:41,680
Speaker 4: tweets it's gotten or how many replies it is.

1448
01:11:41,720 --> 01:11:45,160
Speaker 6: God, I will delete it because I do not want

1449
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:48,559
Speaker 6: that to be I don't want to hold myself to

1450
01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:50,719
Speaker 6: that opinion based on what other.

1451
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:53,559
Speaker 4: People think of that opinion that I had. It's no

1452
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:56,400
Speaker 4: longer constructed. After that point, it's no longer constructive.

1453
01:11:56,479 --> 01:12:00,480
Speaker 6: It's not helpful, it's not it's not doing anything to

1454
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:02,599
Speaker 6: to better the world in any way, shape or form.

1455
01:12:02,760 --> 01:12:04,799
Speaker 4: I would write a book, I'll write an essay.

1456
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:08,280
Speaker 6: I'll have a conversation with somebody who actually I have

1457
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:11,360
Speaker 6: conversations like my parents, like older people who aren't online,

1458
01:12:11,640 --> 01:12:13,400
Speaker 6: who they'll say something a little bit off. I'm like,

1459
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:16,000
Speaker 6: hold on, let me, let me explain to you while

1460
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,639
Speaker 6: that's whatever, let's have a conversation about it. It works there,

1461
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:21,519
Speaker 6: but people try to do that on Twitter and it'll

1462
01:12:21,560 --> 01:12:23,280
Speaker 6: never work.

1463
01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:23,519
Speaker 5: One.

1464
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,200
Speaker 2: You know and love your parents too.

1465
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:27,320
Speaker 3: I got a feeling you didn't drag them for pill,

1466
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:29,920
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like just the way that

1467
01:12:29,960 --> 01:12:32,360
Speaker 3: people tend to do this shit other places, it tends

1468
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:37,240
Speaker 3: like and even then it's not even that personal relationship.

1469
01:12:37,280 --> 01:12:40,600
Speaker 3: It's like if if your parents says something in articulate

1470
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:43,920
Speaker 3: and then like a hundred people came to your house,

1471
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:46,280
Speaker 3: half of them will call your parents out their name.

1472
01:12:46,760 --> 01:12:49,120
Speaker 2: Half of them were saying like, let me kindly teach

1473
01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:49,320
Speaker 2: you and.

1474
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:51,240
Speaker 5: Show you're ready to fight everybody in the room.

1475
01:12:51,400 --> 01:12:54,160
Speaker 3: That's so overwhelming of an experience for any human being

1476
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:55,920
Speaker 3: to be in that the eye of that tornado.

1477
01:12:56,720 --> 01:13:00,519
Speaker 7: Right, and something Bossie says that I will agree with

1478
01:13:01,320 --> 01:13:04,519
Speaker 7: caring and loving and I'm not trying to find it.

1479
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 5: Being a kind person.

1480
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,080
Speaker 7: Uh, particularly online sucks and nobody ever wants to say

1481
01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:14,160
Speaker 7: that it actually sucks, you know, because it's literally the

1482
01:13:14,200 --> 01:13:18,519
Speaker 7: opposite of everything online tells you, and it makes they

1483
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:21,960
Speaker 7: make you think that you're crazy for actually caring. They

1484
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:25,200
Speaker 7: make you think that you're crazy for being concerned and

1485
01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:29,840
Speaker 7: not concerned droming literally being concerned, you know, like.

1486
01:13:30,040 --> 01:13:35,040
Speaker 6: Even seeing another point of view right are absolutely like

1487
01:13:35,640 --> 01:13:37,519
Speaker 6: they will throw you in the pit with the person

1488
01:13:37,720 --> 01:13:38,639
Speaker 6: just for seeing the.

1489
01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:40,519
Speaker 4: Other, Like I send you that thing. I was like,

1490
01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:43,679
Speaker 4: I think I think she was talking about the video,

1491
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:46,160
Speaker 4: not talking about this thing. But Twitter doesn't want to

1492
01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:47,920
Speaker 4: hear that. They don't want to hear about it. They

1493
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:50,800
Speaker 4: want to go with me with the one that lets

1494
01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:52,000
Speaker 4: them be angry.

1495
01:13:52,120 --> 01:13:55,040
Speaker 6: And it's what you said about people wanting to matter

1496
01:13:55,160 --> 01:13:56,800
Speaker 6: absolutely But and.

1497
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:59,680
Speaker 3: It's sad because there's always a person that will have

1498
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:02,360
Speaker 3: the fun take. You just need to wait, just wait,

1499
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:06,320
Speaker 3: like five momentutes, it'll come down the timeline. It'll be

1500
01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:09,919
Speaker 3: somebody like y'all niggas need to leave Rachel Niggas alone.

1501
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:12,320
Speaker 2: She doese nothing but good things for you. Blacks, and

1502
01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:16,479
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, Lett's jump in that guy. Shit. Don't like, don't.

1503
01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:19,120
Speaker 3: Jump into guy who's her like best friend or some

1504
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:22,479
Speaker 3: shit or whatever. The person that's like, uh, you know,

1505
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:24,719
Speaker 3: I can understand some of the stuff she was saying,

1506
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:27,680
Speaker 3: like don't that person's probably making And that's the other thing.

1507
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:31,920
Speaker 3: That's where I love having this podcast because I can

1508
01:14:32,360 --> 01:14:35,320
Speaker 3: want to say something, and it is kind of a

1509
01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:37,880
Speaker 3: privilege to have this space, right because I can want

1510
01:14:37,880 --> 01:14:40,840
Speaker 3: to say something that I know won't play well on

1511
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:44,519
Speaker 3: social media but isn't crazy. We can just come here

1512
01:14:44,560 --> 01:14:48,240
Speaker 3: and say it, and then everyone who tunes in that

1513
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:51,960
Speaker 3: hits the download button or the play button. They bought

1514
01:14:51,960 --> 01:14:54,800
Speaker 3: into this, so they're like, I didn't come here to

1515
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:57,599
Speaker 3: just go I fucking hate these guys. Let me listen

1516
01:14:57,680 --> 01:15:01,639
Speaker 3: to episode three thousand. They're like, you know, I want

1517
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:03,800
Speaker 3: them to be right. I want them to have I

1518
01:15:03,960 --> 01:15:07,720
Speaker 3: respect their opinions, and so you can come here like yesterday.

1519
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:10,960
Speaker 2: With me and you and nick Ju were like, we're not.

1520
01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:13,679
Speaker 3: Offending necessarily by what Rachel Nikkos said, because we assume

1521
01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:18,240
Speaker 3: almost all white people feel that way in private. It

1522
01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:20,760
Speaker 3: just sucks that this is at someone's job and these

1523
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:21,639
Speaker 3: are the things that hold.

1524
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:22,679
Speaker 2: Black people back at work.

1525
01:15:22,960 --> 01:15:23,160
Speaker 6: Right.

1526
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,439
Speaker 3: That's too, two points that coincide with each other that

1527
01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:29,679
Speaker 3: you can't make anywhere else, Like, yeah.

1528
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:31,639
Speaker 2: You gotta be like burn, you know what I mean?

1529
01:15:32,479 --> 01:15:35,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, And then there's there's a conversation to be had

1530
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:40,160
Speaker 6: about like the nuance and perspective of any given hot

1531
01:15:40,240 --> 01:15:44,280
Speaker 6: topic of the day. But it's the fact that you

1532
01:15:44,439 --> 01:15:47,880
Speaker 6: have to parse your words and know that you can't

1533
01:15:47,920 --> 01:15:51,759
Speaker 6: even you can't start off with any of the nuance

1534
01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:55,160
Speaker 6: or any of the perspective or even oh or even

1535
01:15:56,520 --> 01:16:00,719
Speaker 6: even saying I understand why somebody would feel that way.

1536
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:03,439
Speaker 6: If that's somebody and the way they feel goes against

1537
01:16:03,439 --> 01:16:04,599
Speaker 6: the grains, don't ever say it.

1538
01:16:05,040 --> 01:16:07,960
Speaker 4: Don't say it. Don't say it. You're not. No, no,

1539
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:12,480
Speaker 4: you're not. Don't say it. Don't say you understand anybody's perspective.

1540
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:15,400
Speaker 6: I didn't say you agreed. You didn't say that you

1541
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:18,200
Speaker 6: too would like to oppress people at work or whatever

1542
01:16:18,680 --> 01:16:21,559
Speaker 6: you just said. I understand how she got to that.

1543
01:16:22,160 --> 01:16:24,559
Speaker 6: I understand how she got there. I understand why this

1544
01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:29,240
Speaker 6: person jumped to this conclusion or or why they.

1545
01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:30,040
Speaker 4: Would be upset.

1546
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:32,880
Speaker 6: That's the thing I understand why this person would be

1547
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:36,000
Speaker 6: upset that they missed out on an opportunity, Why they

1548
01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:39,559
Speaker 6: think they missed out we can argue about, but that

1549
01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:43,679
Speaker 6: feeling is universal. But you're not allowed to have empathy,

1550
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:46,759
Speaker 6: true empathy for people, because.

1551
01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:51,000
Speaker 3: People perform unless the empathy, they're not really impassed.

1552
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:55,960
Speaker 2: When Jakari Richardson had that the thing with the weed,

1553
01:16:56,640 --> 01:16:59,240
Speaker 2: everyone just jumped into like, how do we change the

1554
01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:03,000
Speaker 2: entire world so that weed is legal? And I was thinking, like,

1555
01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:03,720
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1556
01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:07,080
Speaker 3: There's a black girl whose mom died, who had to

1557
01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:08,320
Speaker 3: self medicate that night.

1558
01:17:08,360 --> 01:17:11,520
Speaker 2: She was so shaken knowing that there would be consequences

1559
01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:11,880
Speaker 2: for it.

1560
01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:14,120
Speaker 3: I don't know that we need to be pushing her

1561
01:17:14,160 --> 01:17:16,160
Speaker 3: to just hey man, fuck it, get out there and

1562
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,080
Speaker 3: run because you want her to run.

1563
01:17:18,200 --> 01:17:20,280
Speaker 2: You don't even want her to run for her. You

1564
01:17:20,320 --> 01:17:21,479
Speaker 2: want her to run for you.

1565
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:24,439
Speaker 3: If you want her to run for weed legalization, you

1566
01:17:24,479 --> 01:17:26,519
Speaker 3: wanted to run for black girl magic, you wanted to

1567
01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:29,519
Speaker 3: run for the United States. That's not even about her anymore.

1568
01:17:29,560 --> 01:17:31,240
Speaker 3: You don't actually give a fuck about her. You need

1569
01:17:31,240 --> 01:17:34,120
Speaker 3: her to run so that people respect black women with

1570
01:17:34,240 --> 01:17:36,040
Speaker 3: long nails and bright hair.

1571
01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:38,320
Speaker 2: That's no wronger about her.

1572
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:39,400
Speaker 4: That's exactly it.

1573
01:17:39,640 --> 01:17:42,280
Speaker 6: I remember when I read this thing, I was like, okay,

1574
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:45,560
Speaker 6: So the first thing that came to mind was self sabotage.

1575
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:48,600
Speaker 6: She is going through a lot, and she's under a

1576
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:51,840
Speaker 6: lot of pressure, and she has to deal with that,

1577
01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:54,320
Speaker 6: and she doesn't know how to let y'all down because

1578
01:17:54,479 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 6: y'all put the hopes to the dreams of the slave

1579
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:56,880
Speaker 6: on her.

1580
01:17:56,960 --> 01:17:59,400
Speaker 4: Y'all did that, So she doesn't want to let you

1581
01:17:59,439 --> 01:18:02,680
Speaker 4: guys down. And now she's done something that has effectively

1582
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:05,799
Speaker 4: removed her from that pressure, and you still want.

1583
01:18:05,640 --> 01:18:08,160
Speaker 6: To pressure her and the rest of the world into

1584
01:18:08,200 --> 01:18:10,160
Speaker 6: doing it. Like, how about we sit with the fact

1585
01:18:10,160 --> 01:18:12,200
Speaker 6: that maybe she shouldn't have to go to the Olympics

1586
01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:15,120
Speaker 6: when she's trying to figure out a complicated relationship with

1587
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:18,120
Speaker 6: the death of her mother. Right, Why isn't that part

1588
01:18:18,120 --> 01:18:19,719
Speaker 6: of the conversation Because it doesn't.

1589
01:18:20,240 --> 01:18:20,679
Speaker 4: It doesn't.

1590
01:18:20,880 --> 01:18:25,760
Speaker 6: You can't internalize that, you can't project that onto her.

1591
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:29,040
Speaker 6: You can't project that because it's specifically about this person,

1592
01:18:29,320 --> 01:18:32,040
Speaker 6: and it's no longer about her because you have made

1593
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:33,160
Speaker 6: her a mascot.

1594
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:35,439
Speaker 4: She is no longer a human being. And that's the

1595
01:18:35,479 --> 01:18:37,080
Speaker 4: shit that that that.

1596
01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:40,240
Speaker 3: And brought to you the same people that have argued

1597
01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:43,599
Speaker 3: over her tweets from when she was fifteen, or got

1598
01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:46,800
Speaker 3: upset about her tweet about little nas X, which you know,

1599
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,880
Speaker 3: which is funny because there were people who were like

1600
01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:52,439
Speaker 3: defensive of her tweet about little nas X, which is

1601
01:18:52,479 --> 01:18:54,920
Speaker 3: something like y'all fuck the little nas X, then unfollow

1602
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:57,439
Speaker 3: me or something black me or something, and so people

1603
01:18:57,479 --> 01:19:01,000
Speaker 3: were like, it's not homophobia, it's Christianity. But then I

1604
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,840
Speaker 3: was like, when that shit happened, if anyone that said

1605
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:06,479
Speaker 3: it was Christianity, y'all call homophobic, it was like, like,

1606
01:19:06,560 --> 01:19:09,040
Speaker 3: it's clearly just y'all like her, And so the rules

1607
01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:10,920
Speaker 3: are just different. And I think if we could be

1608
01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:13,759
Speaker 3: honest about that, it probably would go a lot further

1609
01:19:13,840 --> 01:19:16,400
Speaker 3: than trying to act like we're moral police, because the

1610
01:19:16,479 --> 01:19:19,479
Speaker 3: Los Angeles for each of these motherfuckers, if it's like,

1611
01:19:19,720 --> 01:19:22,679
Speaker 3: it's so funny, the moral police works like the police,

1612
01:19:23,479 --> 01:19:26,479
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like the moral justice system

1613
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:29,800
Speaker 3: online works just like the criminal justice system. It's just like, well,

1614
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:31,840
Speaker 3: not this motherfucker, We're not gonna come on now.

1615
01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:32,280
Speaker 5: We like it.

1616
01:19:34,080 --> 01:19:34,200
Speaker 4: You know.

1617
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:36,120
Speaker 6: What made me think of it made me think of

1618
01:19:36,240 --> 01:19:39,680
Speaker 6: like the talent, the brown thing where she was essentially saying, you.

1619
01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:40,400
Speaker 4: Ain't got a man.

1620
01:19:40,720 --> 01:19:41,479
Speaker 5: I got a man.

1621
01:19:42,160 --> 01:19:45,360
Speaker 6: And people were like, that's right, Wendy is lonely and

1622
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:46,479
Speaker 6: sad and miserable.

1623
01:19:46,479 --> 01:19:48,519
Speaker 4: Because she I was like, no, any other person who

1624
01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:50,800
Speaker 4: was coming at it like that and not talking about

1625
01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:58,320
Speaker 4: Wendy would have gotten crucified exactly. Nobody should have gotten

1626
01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:01,080
Speaker 4: you know, that's her life and whatever. That's why it

1627
01:20:01,080 --> 01:20:03,000
Speaker 4: should be all the time. But you the fact that

1628
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,519
Speaker 4: people have rowled around this conversation knowing that it's a

1629
01:20:06,560 --> 01:20:09,439
Speaker 4: pick me conversation that anybody else would have gotten dragged

1630
01:20:09,439 --> 01:20:11,960
Speaker 4: for four days until the next thing happens.

1631
01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:12,519
Speaker 2: And both of.

1632
01:20:12,520 --> 01:20:14,680
Speaker 6: Them, both of them, she was saying, you ain't got no.

1633
01:20:14,680 --> 01:20:17,280
Speaker 3: Man, right, both of them was picked me in because

1634
01:20:17,280 --> 01:20:20,200
Speaker 3: she was like, that's why the man you chose gonna

1635
01:20:20,200 --> 01:20:22,479
Speaker 3: betray you because you let this nigga not work. I

1636
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:26,640
Speaker 3: was like, this is very man for two bread winners

1637
01:20:27,080 --> 01:20:30,960
Speaker 3: in the household. Yeah, but you know, hey, y'all get

1638
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,439
Speaker 3: it how you live. I was here for the church,

1639
01:20:32,479 --> 01:20:35,600
Speaker 3: mother Red really I speak, I love I love me.

1640
01:20:35,640 --> 01:20:37,920
Speaker 3: A passive aggressive Southern Baptist.

1641
01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:39,760
Speaker 5: Just come on with the Martin Luther King fan and

1642
01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:40,280
Speaker 5: they chant.

1643
01:20:40,479 --> 01:20:43,080
Speaker 3: I'm like, she got praying hands, but she is smacking

1644
01:20:43,080 --> 01:20:44,600
Speaker 3: you with them and I'm loving it.

1645
01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:48,759
Speaker 4: Dum. Her eyes her eyes were not her eyes.

1646
01:20:48,960 --> 01:20:51,720
Speaker 3: Her eyes said it's bitch, who you finish? Try but

1647
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:55,040
Speaker 3: her her the smile and the and the words she

1648
01:20:55,160 --> 01:20:56,080
Speaker 3: was choosing.

1649
01:20:56,240 --> 01:20:58,639
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pray for you, Okay.

1650
01:20:59,360 --> 01:21:00,200
Speaker 4: I hope you for that.

1651
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:09,759
Speaker 2: Love ye your man you. I'm like, God, damn, I

1652
01:21:07,560 --> 01:21:11,519
Speaker 2: don you know me and a boy to get to talking.

1653
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:13,479
Speaker 2: I know you've been trying to get I'm good.

1654
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:14,080
Speaker 5: I'm good.

1655
01:21:14,880 --> 01:21:17,280
Speaker 7: One more thing I want to say the piggyback on

1656
01:21:17,280 --> 01:21:19,519
Speaker 7: some of the things we've been talking about. When you

1657
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:22,360
Speaker 7: was talking about how people don't want to fight themselves,

1658
01:21:22,479 --> 01:21:24,679
Speaker 7: I do agree. That's why a lot of people fight

1659
01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:28,840
Speaker 7: so much online because you know what, if they fought themselves,

1660
01:21:29,120 --> 01:21:31,320
Speaker 7: they would have to change. And I am to the

1661
01:21:31,320 --> 01:21:34,719
Speaker 7: conclusion that average person does not want to change.

1662
01:21:34,720 --> 01:21:38,800
Speaker 5: They don't want to evolve like personally internally. They don't

1663
01:21:38,840 --> 01:21:39,599
Speaker 5: want to come to.

1664
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:42,479
Speaker 7: The realization that I might have to look at the

1665
01:21:42,479 --> 01:21:45,200
Speaker 7: people around me and realize that a lot of them

1666
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:47,519
Speaker 7: ain't good for me, and some of them might actually

1667
01:21:47,520 --> 01:21:49,360
Speaker 7: be trashed. Ask people that I need to get rid of.

1668
01:21:49,439 --> 01:21:50,840
Speaker 7: But I don't want to do that because I like

1669
01:21:50,880 --> 01:21:53,599
Speaker 7: actually being here, and people don't want to change their behavior,

1670
01:21:53,640 --> 01:21:56,799
Speaker 7: and I think sometimes people get comfortable and because online

1671
01:21:56,920 --> 01:21:59,280
Speaker 7: is an addiction, people don't want to admit that they're

1672
01:21:59,280 --> 01:22:02,440
Speaker 7: addicted to it. And I didn't realize that I was addicted,

1673
01:22:02,479 --> 01:22:05,120
Speaker 7: because no matter who you are, if you have social

1674
01:22:05,160 --> 01:22:07,040
Speaker 7: media and you use it, even if you use it

1675
01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:10,000
Speaker 7: very small, it's still a form of addiction. Because I

1676
01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:13,160
Speaker 7: remember I had shut my Facebook down maybe three or

1677
01:22:13,160 --> 01:22:17,120
Speaker 7: four days years ago, and Facebook does this thing, well,

1678
01:22:17,160 --> 01:22:19,280
Speaker 7: it literally asks you, like four or five times, are

1679
01:22:19,280 --> 01:22:20,160
Speaker 7: you sure you sure?

1680
01:22:20,160 --> 01:22:20,559
Speaker 5: You're sure?

1681
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,439
Speaker 7: You sure You're sure you're gonna do this?

1682
01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:25,160
Speaker 5: You should like during.

1683
01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:26,799
Speaker 4: The five days two hours.

1684
01:22:26,920 --> 01:22:29,519
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like they really do that, Like they ask you

1685
01:22:29,640 --> 01:22:30,960
Speaker 7: every time you hit the button.

1686
01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:33,280
Speaker 5: They asked you several times.

1687
01:22:33,400 --> 01:22:36,760
Speaker 7: And what was funny was that I started getting anxiety

1688
01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:37,920
Speaker 7: every time they asked me.

1689
01:22:38,720 --> 01:22:41,599
Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, I'm.

1690
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:44,400
Speaker 7: A like like like like that's when my reality of

1691
01:22:44,800 --> 01:22:48,360
Speaker 7: this is an addiction, because why should I have anxiety

1692
01:22:48,920 --> 01:22:54,840
Speaker 7: about something that's just a perspective of me. There's a

1693
01:22:54,880 --> 01:22:57,880
Speaker 7: snapshot of my life online, Like this is not.

1694
01:22:57,760 --> 01:23:01,439
Speaker 3: The real meat it's also telling you how you use

1695
01:23:01,479 --> 01:23:06,240
Speaker 3: it in that moment, right, because if you're feeling anxiety,

1696
01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:09,799
Speaker 3: then it's like I'm losing connections with people. I'm losing

1697
01:23:09,840 --> 01:23:14,800
Speaker 3: community with people. You know, I'm losing my entertainment, you know,

1698
01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:16,000
Speaker 3: like how are you using it?

1699
01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:16,640
Speaker 2: Necessarily?

1700
01:23:16,640 --> 01:23:19,839
Speaker 3: Because I did the same thing around that time. I remember,

1701
01:23:20,080 --> 01:23:22,559
Speaker 3: you know, what we was going through. And the thing

1702
01:23:22,760 --> 01:23:25,080
Speaker 3: is after that, I've never felt that way again about

1703
01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:28,759
Speaker 3: social media either. But it's mostly just because the realization

1704
01:23:28,840 --> 01:23:30,920
Speaker 3: I had was just like this shit is not that real,

1705
01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:35,320
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like I don't have three

1706
01:23:35,400 --> 01:23:39,360
Speaker 3: thousand fearings. I don't have thirty thousand friends. I have

1707
01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:43,800
Speaker 3: like five friends. Okay, like this, like I can't be

1708
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:47,880
Speaker 3: the idea that like, I think about this a lot.

1709
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:52,080
Speaker 3: If you scroll Facebook, right, Sometimes I'll scroll Facebook and

1710
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:53,840
Speaker 3: it's like, you know, here's a picture of me and

1711
01:23:53,880 --> 01:23:54,360
Speaker 3: my wife.

1712
01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:56,360
Speaker 2: Here's a and I'm not talking about me. I'm saying

1713
01:23:56,400 --> 01:23:57,120
Speaker 2: what I'm looking at.

1714
01:23:57,400 --> 01:24:00,880
Speaker 3: Here's a Look, it's me and my son. He's playing soccer.

1715
01:24:00,920 --> 01:24:04,400
Speaker 3: Now I just got married or whatever. It's like, oh,

1716
01:24:04,479 --> 01:24:06,679
Speaker 3: look at it. I just had a baby and then

1717
01:24:07,160 --> 01:24:12,120
Speaker 3: my father just died and uh and it's and it's

1718
01:24:12,200 --> 01:24:13,519
Speaker 3: I used to have it where I would log in

1719
01:24:13,520 --> 01:24:16,360
Speaker 3: it would tell me like, it's this many people's birthday today,

1720
01:24:17,080 --> 01:24:20,160
Speaker 3: and I would feel bad that I couldn't say happy

1721
01:24:20,160 --> 01:24:21,800
Speaker 3: birthday to all of them. So then I would start

1722
01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:26,040
Speaker 3: saying happy birthday to these motherfuckers. I don't know that

1723
01:24:26,520 --> 01:24:28,280
Speaker 3: I would be saying, but but this is how I

1724
01:24:28,360 --> 01:24:29,880
Speaker 3: used to use it, is what I'm saying. So like

1725
01:24:30,680 --> 01:24:34,280
Speaker 3: I just changed my relationship with the platforms, like you know,

1726
01:24:34,600 --> 01:24:37,920
Speaker 3: same thing with Twitter. I just turned off everything, like no,

1727
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:40,720
Speaker 3: I don't want to see I don't want to see

1728
01:24:40,760 --> 01:24:41,880
Speaker 3: what this stranger said.

1729
01:24:41,920 --> 01:24:43,439
Speaker 2: If you don't have an avatar, I don't want to

1730
01:24:43,479 --> 01:24:43,720
Speaker 2: see it.

1731
01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:47,880
Speaker 3: If you uh use a bad word towards me, I

1732
01:24:47,880 --> 01:24:49,840
Speaker 3: don't want to see it. Like it's just it's okay,

1733
01:24:49,840 --> 01:24:51,679
Speaker 3: because I wouldn't want to see that in real life.

1734
01:24:51,720 --> 01:24:55,759
Speaker 3: I can't control how, And once again I just focused

1735
01:24:55,760 --> 01:24:58,200
Speaker 3: on what I can control, So I learned I can

1736
01:24:58,240 --> 01:25:01,320
Speaker 3: control what I talk about, I don't control how anyone

1737
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:04,439
Speaker 3: takes it. And once you relinquish that control is actually

1738
01:25:04,479 --> 01:25:07,280
Speaker 3: freeing because it's like the control, isn't this interesting? You

1739
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:10,439
Speaker 3: chose to take that though completely fucking opposite way, Well,

1740
01:25:10,479 --> 01:25:12,880
Speaker 3: you have a nice day playing with that bone and

1741
01:25:12,960 --> 01:25:13,679
Speaker 3: I'm gonna move.

1742
01:25:14,960 --> 01:25:16,800
Speaker 2: What the fuck does this even have to do with me?

1743
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:17,839
Speaker 5: You know, nothing?

1744
01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:18,799
Speaker 2: So I think.

1745
01:25:18,600 --> 01:25:23,680
Speaker 6: That's yeah, yeah, when when when you get the what

1746
01:25:23,760 --> 01:25:24,920
Speaker 6: does this have to do with me?

1747
01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:25,559
Speaker 3: Moments?

1748
01:25:26,160 --> 01:25:28,880
Speaker 6: Like I got that moment and I was like, this

1749
01:25:29,040 --> 01:25:31,280
Speaker 6: has nothing to do with me and everything to do

1750
01:25:31,400 --> 01:25:34,800
Speaker 6: with you, and you're getting on my nerves. So I

1751
01:25:34,840 --> 01:25:38,000
Speaker 6: want to respond, but I'm just gonna meet you, yep,

1752
01:25:38,120 --> 01:25:39,160
Speaker 6: or I'm gonna block.

1753
01:25:38,920 --> 01:25:41,840
Speaker 2: You, and and and the thing, the thing, Oh go ahead, no,

1754
01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:42,639
Speaker 2: finish your thought.

1755
01:25:43,200 --> 01:25:43,720
Speaker 4: No, No, I'm dead.

1756
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:45,360
Speaker 2: I'm done dead, Okay, I was gonna say.

1757
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:48,400
Speaker 3: And then the thing that that I think takes place

1758
01:25:48,439 --> 01:25:53,720
Speaker 3: there is you you feel you have to look at

1759
01:25:53,840 --> 01:25:55,800
Speaker 3: what it is you're looking for from social media?

1760
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:59,200
Speaker 2: You're looking for validation? Are you looking for comedy? Are

1761
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:00,240
Speaker 2: you just passing time?

1762
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:03,080
Speaker 3: Are you looking for a community proctor?

1763
01:26:03,120 --> 01:26:04,400
Speaker 2: Do you need your ego fed?

1764
01:26:04,760 --> 01:26:04,840
Speaker 6: Like?

1765
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:05,559
Speaker 5: What is it?

1766
01:26:05,680 --> 01:26:08,600
Speaker 2: Because whatever it is, it is probably ugly.

1767
01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:13,439
Speaker 3: Right, It's probably something you don't want to admit to, right, like, damn,

1768
01:26:13,479 --> 01:26:15,600
Speaker 3: I really do want these people to like me or

1769
01:26:15,640 --> 01:26:17,559
Speaker 3: some shit, you know, like it's a shit we don't

1770
01:26:17,560 --> 01:26:20,639
Speaker 3: tell ourselves. I want to feel better about my body

1771
01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:22,840
Speaker 3: or whatever. So that's why I'm making sure I take

1772
01:26:22,920 --> 01:26:26,000
Speaker 3: thirty seven selfies and then post the one so that

1773
01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:28,320
Speaker 3: everybody sees that one or whatever, you know, or.

1774
01:26:30,320 --> 01:26:32,160
Speaker 2: I want everyone to like my opinions.

1775
01:26:32,160 --> 01:26:35,160
Speaker 3: That's why I'm looking through everybody's fucking opinion before I

1776
01:26:35,280 --> 01:26:38,160
Speaker 3: jump in with my You know, yeah, and.

1777
01:26:38,080 --> 01:26:39,559
Speaker 2: It's hot too, you know what I mean?

1778
01:26:39,680 --> 01:26:43,640
Speaker 3: Like that, it's that vibe that I think people you

1779
01:26:43,880 --> 01:26:46,120
Speaker 3: the ugly part that you don't want to answer, you

1780
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:49,280
Speaker 3: can ignore because you're just always as long as you're

1781
01:26:49,320 --> 01:26:52,519
Speaker 3: always churning, you're always swimming in that shark infested lake

1782
01:26:52,680 --> 01:26:53,759
Speaker 3: or water ocean.

1783
01:26:54,080 --> 01:26:55,160
Speaker 2: Ocean is the right one.

1784
01:26:55,520 --> 01:27:01,400
Speaker 3: As long as you're as long as your extreme the scene,

1785
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:02,840
Speaker 3: as long as you're in those.

1786
01:27:02,880 --> 01:27:07,880
Speaker 2: Shark and festic tools, you're gonna you're gonna end up.

1787
01:27:07,880 --> 01:27:10,240
Speaker 3: You're gonna end up feeling like, as long as I'm

1788
01:27:10,240 --> 01:27:11,360
Speaker 3: always swimming, I'm fine.

1789
01:27:11,360 --> 01:27:14,240
Speaker 2: I'm with the sharks. But the second you not.

1790
01:27:14,280 --> 01:27:16,479
Speaker 3: Swimming, the second you fuck up, the second you make

1791
01:27:16,520 --> 01:27:19,200
Speaker 3: a mistake, even if you just check out, I used

1792
01:27:19,240 --> 01:27:21,320
Speaker 3: to have fear of just like if I don't comment

1793
01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:25,519
Speaker 3: on this It's like, so if I don't comment on

1794
01:27:25,880 --> 01:27:28,960
Speaker 3: the seventy fifth man to be accused of sexual assault,

1795
01:27:29,200 --> 01:27:32,559
Speaker 3: is everyone gonna go? I think now Rod switched overnight.

1796
01:27:32,640 --> 01:27:35,120
Speaker 3: He's pro sexual assault. Yeah, I don't know how it happened.

1797
01:27:35,520 --> 01:27:38,599
Speaker 3: You forgot to comment on this one. Or you know,

1798
01:27:38,880 --> 01:27:41,280
Speaker 3: when white people are posting the black Lives Matter black

1799
01:27:41,320 --> 01:27:45,160
Speaker 3: thing on Instagram and then getting chastised for posting the

1800
01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:48,480
Speaker 3: black lif it's like, don't post this and you're a racist?

1801
01:27:48,600 --> 01:27:52,120
Speaker 2: Post it? You steal racist. It's like, what like that?

1802
01:27:52,400 --> 01:27:54,760
Speaker 3: That's not healthy. That's not a healthy place to be.

1803
01:27:55,560 --> 01:27:58,439
Speaker 3: I think about this a lot. So the same people

1804
01:27:58,479 --> 01:28:03,920
Speaker 3: that care about shikari mental health Chloe Bailey's mental health

1805
01:28:05,720 --> 01:28:07,599
Speaker 3: are the same people that admonish them.

1806
01:28:08,120 --> 01:28:08,840
Speaker 5: Yes, I've seen it.

1807
01:28:09,040 --> 01:28:10,200
Speaker 2: You're the same group.

1808
01:28:10,320 --> 01:28:13,000
Speaker 3: You're the same group that go, what about this old

1809
01:28:13,040 --> 01:28:15,880
Speaker 3: tweet when you were fifteen. You're the same group that

1810
01:28:16,680 --> 01:28:20,599
Speaker 3: made Chloe Bailey trend for that twerkuin performance she did.

1811
01:28:21,320 --> 01:28:23,479
Speaker 3: But a week before that, you were like, her mental

1812
01:28:23,520 --> 01:28:26,080
Speaker 3: health is so important as a black girl, why can't

1813
01:28:26,120 --> 01:28:26,920
Speaker 3: we be gentle?

1814
01:28:27,080 --> 01:28:29,479
Speaker 2: Well, you're black people not being gentle to her right now.

1815
01:28:29,640 --> 01:28:32,240
Speaker 3: You could have also chosen to be like whatever was ridiculous,

1816
01:28:32,280 --> 01:28:33,200
Speaker 3: but I ain't gonna say nothing.

1817
01:28:33,520 --> 01:28:35,840
Speaker 2: No, you had to let her know.

1818
01:28:36,360 --> 01:28:38,040
Speaker 5: Yes, they had to choose violence.

1819
01:28:37,800 --> 01:28:40,920
Speaker 3: Right, you woke up and you chose violence every day,

1820
01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:44,360
Speaker 3: the violence that you don't believe in when is.

1821
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:48,479
Speaker 4: Just one of the Chloe Bailey things that no one

1822
01:28:48,520 --> 01:28:48,920
Speaker 4: asks me.

1823
01:28:49,080 --> 01:28:52,519
Speaker 6: But it's like, why can't you say, I like this girl,

1824
01:28:53,360 --> 01:28:56,920
Speaker 6: she's dope and that's ridiculous why she do that? And

1825
01:28:57,120 --> 01:28:59,320
Speaker 6: how that both exist on the same plane, But it's

1826
01:28:59,320 --> 01:29:02,360
Speaker 6: like people want to like it's almost like.

1827
01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:06,200
Speaker 4: I think that people think it's an over correction where.

1828
01:29:06,040 --> 01:29:09,880
Speaker 6: They're like, okay, well, black women, black people have been

1829
01:29:09,880 --> 01:29:13,439
Speaker 6: admonished for these things disproportionately for so long da da

1830
01:29:13,520 --> 01:29:16,920
Speaker 6: da da, that we have to, like, you know, overcompensate

1831
01:29:17,080 --> 01:29:21,599
Speaker 6: for that deficit. But what they've done is not only

1832
01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:24,920
Speaker 6: over compensated with a deficit, but then like spilled into

1833
01:29:24,960 --> 01:29:28,120
Speaker 6: a whole other like untouchable land where it just doesn't

1834
01:29:28,120 --> 01:29:30,960
Speaker 6: even make sense anymore, Like where is it now that

1835
01:29:31,040 --> 01:29:32,960
Speaker 6: we can't even like say, okay, I didn't like that,

1836
01:29:33,080 --> 01:29:34,840
Speaker 6: because if you say you don't like that, you don't

1837
01:29:34,880 --> 01:29:36,400
Speaker 6: like her. If you don't like her, you don't like

1838
01:29:36,520 --> 01:29:39,760
Speaker 6: any black woman ever if you don't like me, so

1839
01:29:39,880 --> 01:29:42,400
Speaker 6: now I'm ready to fight because why don't you like me?

1840
01:29:42,600 --> 01:29:46,759
Speaker 3: It's like, and that's just today, that's just today, because

1841
01:29:46,800 --> 01:29:48,920
Speaker 3: tomorrow she does that terking dance.

1842
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:51,680
Speaker 2: And then it's like, yeah, I don't care what nobody's say.

1843
01:29:51,920 --> 01:29:52,759
Speaker 2: This is stupid.

1844
01:29:52,800 --> 01:29:55,400
Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck this is disrespected the ancestors,

1845
01:29:55,439 --> 01:29:56,799
Speaker 3: and I'm like, how are.

1846
01:29:56,680 --> 01:29:59,200
Speaker 2: You both of these people? That is what's killing me.

1847
01:29:59,240 --> 01:30:03,599
Speaker 3: I'm like, on Monday you would protect all black women's

1848
01:30:03,640 --> 01:30:05,360
Speaker 3: mental health, and on Tuesday you.

1849
01:30:05,479 --> 01:30:08,360
Speaker 2: Was at Chloe Bailey. What the fuck is this? Like?

1850
01:30:08,600 --> 01:30:13,320
Speaker 4: How those dude? Not even Tuesday Monday morning and then

1851
01:30:13,600 --> 01:30:17,160
Speaker 4: by Monday evening not even twelve hours when I was

1852
01:30:17,200 --> 01:30:19,120
Speaker 4: when I was off Twitter for six months, but I

1853
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,760
Speaker 4: was still reading because I like to, you know, just

1854
01:30:20,840 --> 01:30:21,639
Speaker 4: know what was going on.

1855
01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:23,360
Speaker 6: I would see and I told you, I told you

1856
01:30:23,400 --> 01:30:25,679
Speaker 6: about this ron. I would see somebody with the take

1857
01:30:26,080 --> 01:30:29,720
Speaker 6: in the morning, and then by the time LA woke up,

1858
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:34,040
Speaker 6: and then somebody on the West Coast decided, no, wed this.

1859
01:30:34,240 --> 01:30:35,960
Speaker 4: You can see it person there.

1860
01:30:36,200 --> 01:30:40,400
Speaker 6: I completely I see the entire time of of oh

1861
01:30:40,479 --> 01:30:43,519
Speaker 6: that's oh, that's hilarious and silly and non you know,

1862
01:30:43,600 --> 01:30:46,200
Speaker 6: non important to like, this is the most important thing

1863
01:30:46,600 --> 01:30:49,759
Speaker 6: in the entire world to me now, Yes, twelve hours

1864
01:30:49,760 --> 01:30:51,200
Speaker 6: ago it wasn't, but now it is.

1865
01:30:51,320 --> 01:30:53,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, you can see it not trying funny.

1866
01:30:53,120 --> 01:30:54,720
Speaker 7: You could see it go from night shift to day

1867
01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:56,640
Speaker 7: ship like like, I don't know if people realize this,

1868
01:30:57,120 --> 01:30:58,920
Speaker 7: there'll be something that kind of happened in the middle

1869
01:30:58,920 --> 01:31:00,960
Speaker 7: of the night and be like night and third shift

1870
01:31:01,240 --> 01:31:04,320
Speaker 7: and by the time us people wake up the six

1871
01:31:04,360 --> 01:31:07,160
Speaker 7: am East Coast, and then you can see as the

1872
01:31:07,240 --> 01:31:10,720
Speaker 7: hours tick as more people begin to get up, it's like.

1873
01:31:10,680 --> 01:31:13,080
Speaker 3: You can see they need time to process the content.

1874
01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:16,360
Speaker 3: That's all that's happening. It's a content cycle. So the

1875
01:31:16,400 --> 01:31:19,040
Speaker 3: first reaction is pretty much everyone's real reaction. It's like

1876
01:31:19,080 --> 01:31:23,840
Speaker 3: if you were watching TV live or whatever and it's

1877
01:31:23,840 --> 01:31:28,120
Speaker 3: the BT Awards and Little Nazax came out and just

1878
01:31:28,200 --> 01:31:30,719
Speaker 3: like punch one of amigos in the face. The first

1879
01:31:30,800 --> 01:31:33,519
Speaker 3: reaction is the real reaction. It's everyone going oh shit

1880
01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:37,200
Speaker 3: or boy, that was hilarious. By the time people have

1881
01:31:37,280 --> 01:31:39,960
Speaker 3: time to process like how I'm right about this in a.

1882
01:31:39,920 --> 01:31:42,320
Speaker 5: Way that gets okay. I've been like what is happening.

1883
01:31:42,400 --> 01:31:45,120
Speaker 3: Whether it's nighttime where there's daytime. There's just a shift

1884
01:31:45,240 --> 01:31:48,280
Speaker 3: where like twelve hours later, it's like the violence of

1885
01:31:48,320 --> 01:31:51,280
Speaker 3: the community and how Yeah, the think pieces all like

1886
01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:52,240
Speaker 3: how and you know.

1887
01:31:52,600 --> 01:31:54,120
Speaker 2: In this case, we love little Nazax.

1888
01:31:54,120 --> 01:31:57,840
Speaker 3: So it'll probably be something like how it's okay to

1889
01:31:57,920 --> 01:31:59,559
Speaker 3: fight back against your oppresses or something.

1890
01:31:59,560 --> 01:32:01,240
Speaker 2: And it could be nothing to do with that.

1891
01:32:01,320 --> 01:32:03,519
Speaker 3: It could be this nigga stepped on a little naz

1892
01:32:03,640 --> 01:32:05,759
Speaker 3: X shoe and he punched him. It could be that simple.

1893
01:32:05,920 --> 01:32:09,400
Speaker 2: But by that time, twelve hours later, that ship is

1894
01:32:09,400 --> 01:32:11,559
Speaker 2: gonna represent the revolution.

1895
01:32:14,760 --> 01:32:18,360
Speaker 6: Absolutely and long I can say I punched him in

1896
01:32:18,360 --> 01:32:21,120
Speaker 6: the face because he stepped on my shoe, and people

1897
01:32:21,160 --> 01:32:24,840
Speaker 6: would be like, no, because you were invented.

1898
01:32:24,400 --> 01:32:29,600
Speaker 4: By I don't even have the right to my own experience.

1899
01:32:30,400 --> 01:32:31,720
Speaker 4: You have to make it about you.

1900
01:32:32,000 --> 01:32:35,200
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, it was I was. I was reading this thing.

1901
01:32:36,120 --> 01:32:39,680
Speaker 3: I was reading this thing in psychology today and I

1902
01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:42,040
Speaker 3: just thought I saved it for this episode because I

1903
01:32:42,080 --> 01:32:43,840
Speaker 3: was just like, oh God, this is all we be

1904
01:32:43,880 --> 01:32:48,920
Speaker 3: talking about, understanding our online culture, dumpster fire, our online

1905
01:32:48,960 --> 01:32:52,680
Speaker 3: dumpster fire, how group identities contributed dunking harassment and misinformation,

1906
01:32:54,560 --> 01:32:57,880
Speaker 3: And so it was it kind of goes into like

1907
01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:02,439
Speaker 3: some some details and stuff about out different examples of

1908
01:33:03,240 --> 01:33:05,320
Speaker 3: how the internet has changed us and how it can

1909
01:33:05,400 --> 01:33:09,759
Speaker 3: kind of be terrifying sometimes so. Steve Rathi and Jay

1910
01:33:10,160 --> 01:33:13,720
Speaker 3: Van Bavel, co author of this very blog, and Sander

1911
01:33:14,400 --> 01:33:21,400
Speaker 3: Vander Lenden What a Name Examine Sander Vander examine more

1912
01:33:21,439 --> 01:33:24,519
Speaker 3: than eight hundred thousand posts by conservative and liberal media

1913
01:33:24,560 --> 01:33:27,439
Speaker 3: outlets on Twitter and Facebook to see what sort of

1914
01:33:27,479 --> 01:33:29,360
Speaker 3: content was more likely to go viral.

1915
01:33:29,720 --> 01:33:30,240
Speaker 2: Oh.

1916
01:33:30,400 --> 01:33:33,160
Speaker 3: Replicating past research, they found that post was more negative.

1917
01:33:33,200 --> 01:33:36,559
Speaker 3: Emotional words are generally shared and retweeted more frequently, while

1918
01:33:36,600 --> 01:33:40,120
Speaker 3: more positive words were associated with less sharing. More powerful

1919
01:33:40,120 --> 01:33:42,360
Speaker 3: than this, however, was the effect of words related to

1920
01:33:42,360 --> 01:33:47,240
Speaker 3: the political outgroup, so outgroup in this case, if we're liberals,

1921
01:33:47,320 --> 01:33:48,799
Speaker 3: then conservatives that are outgrouped.

1922
01:33:48,800 --> 01:33:52,280
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. Okay, okay, yeah, all right.

1923
01:33:52,680 --> 01:33:57,760
Speaker 3: So basically, the more negative words about the outgroup, the

1924
01:33:57,800 --> 01:34:00,960
Speaker 3: more we would share it. Meaning our impost is to

1925
01:34:01,040 --> 01:34:05,160
Speaker 3: share the negative feeling, right, the anger or whatever. Every

1926
01:34:05,160 --> 01:34:08,880
Speaker 3: word referenced the outgroup in a post. Increase every word

1927
01:34:09,000 --> 01:34:12,200
Speaker 3: referencing the outgroup in a post increased sharing and retweeting

1928
01:34:12,280 --> 01:34:15,200
Speaker 3: by thirty five to fifty seven percent, and this was

1929
01:34:15,240 --> 01:34:18,559
Speaker 3: true of both conservatives who responded enthusiastically the tweets like

1930
01:34:18,880 --> 01:34:21,799
Speaker 3: every American needs to see Joe Biden's latest brain freeze,

1931
01:34:21,840 --> 01:34:24,680
Speaker 3: and liberals who post love posts like Trump is lied

1932
01:34:24,720 --> 01:34:27,479
Speaker 3: more than three thousand times since taking office, but Republicans

1933
01:34:27,520 --> 01:34:28,760
Speaker 3: refuse to say Trump is a liar?

1934
01:34:28,840 --> 01:34:29,519
Speaker 2: What's going on?

1935
01:34:30,280 --> 01:34:33,519
Speaker 3: This kind of harsh rhetoric targeting the outgroup also elicited

1936
01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:36,200
Speaker 3: much anger reactions as people responding.

1937
01:34:35,840 --> 01:34:36,599
Speaker 2: To these posts.

1938
01:34:36,680 --> 01:34:37,759
Speaker 5: I can see that too.

1939
01:34:38,160 --> 01:34:41,439
Speaker 3: So because it is the anger cycle, because then the

1940
01:34:41,479 --> 01:34:44,040
Speaker 3: loneliness is we all have to talk about it, and

1941
01:34:44,120 --> 01:34:47,320
Speaker 3: we're starting from an angry place to start with it.

1942
01:34:47,360 --> 01:34:49,559
Speaker 3: They use politics in this case, but it could literally

1943
01:34:49,560 --> 01:34:53,599
Speaker 3: be anything, you know what I mean. Based on interviews

1944
01:34:53,600 --> 01:34:56,280
Speaker 3: with people who suffer online I'm sorry, did.

1945
01:34:56,160 --> 01:34:57,160
Speaker 2: You want to chime in? Right there?

1946
01:34:58,120 --> 01:34:58,519
Speaker 4: No, no, no.

1947
01:35:00,400 --> 01:35:03,280
Speaker 3: Based on interviews with people who have suffered online harassment

1948
01:35:03,320 --> 01:35:06,719
Speaker 3: and safety workers at social media platforms, Alice Marwick developed

1949
01:35:06,720 --> 01:35:12,400
Speaker 3: a model to explain morally motivated network harassment. She finds

1950
01:35:12,439 --> 01:35:14,120
Speaker 3: that online harassment often.

1951
01:35:13,920 --> 01:35:15,960
Speaker 2: Follows a predictable progression. The cycle is.

1952
01:35:15,880 --> 01:35:18,120
Speaker 3: Triggered when a member of an online community or network

1953
01:35:18,160 --> 01:35:22,200
Speaker 3: accuses someone of violating an important social norm. This trigger

1954
01:35:22,240 --> 01:35:25,160
Speaker 3: is more outrage and others who then send harassing messages

1955
01:35:25,200 --> 01:35:29,320
Speaker 3: to the apparent transgressor, reinforcing the social norm and publicly

1956
01:35:29,360 --> 01:35:33,880
Speaker 3: signaling their social identity to the community. This online harassment

1957
01:35:34,000 --> 01:35:37,439
Speaker 3: often leads to self censorship, both by his victims and

1958
01:35:37,479 --> 01:35:38,080
Speaker 3: the people.

1959
01:35:37,840 --> 01:35:40,880
Speaker 2: Who observed it happening. That's what we've been talking about.

1960
01:35:41,720 --> 01:35:45,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, because when something like that happens, people see, so

1961
01:35:46,800 --> 01:35:49,120
Speaker 7: you have other people then might actually feel the same

1962
01:35:49,120 --> 01:35:49,840
Speaker 7: way as that person.

1963
01:35:49,840 --> 01:35:51,759
Speaker 5: That person actually be right, y'all might be wrong.

1964
01:35:52,120 --> 01:35:54,719
Speaker 7: And it doesn't matter, and a lot of people would

1965
01:35:54,720 --> 01:35:55,840
Speaker 7: just almost lay down.

1966
01:35:56,000 --> 01:36:00,200
Speaker 2: The learned behavior is to not want that to happening.

1967
01:36:00,400 --> 01:36:04,080
Speaker 7: Right, And the average person, even in real life, don't

1968
01:36:04,120 --> 01:36:06,679
Speaker 7: want confrontation. I don't think people realize the average person

1969
01:36:07,080 --> 01:36:09,200
Speaker 7: does not wake up every day and choose violence. You

1970
01:36:09,280 --> 01:36:12,280
Speaker 7: let social media tell you everybody wake up, pull out

1971
01:36:12,280 --> 01:36:14,160
Speaker 7: their butcher knife and stab their whole family.

1972
01:36:14,439 --> 01:36:15,679
Speaker 5: That's not real life.

1973
01:36:15,720 --> 01:36:19,120
Speaker 7: Most people would do everything and they power not to

1974
01:36:19,200 --> 01:36:21,679
Speaker 7: have any unnecessary conflicts in their lives.

1975
01:36:22,000 --> 01:36:24,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you see it.

1976
01:36:24,360 --> 01:36:24,800
Speaker 4: You see it.

1977
01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:30,240
Speaker 6: And people who who have these like really intense reactions

1978
01:36:30,280 --> 01:36:32,640
Speaker 6: to things and oh, if somebody did this to me,

1979
01:36:32,680 --> 01:36:34,240
Speaker 6: I would do that and I would blah blah blah.

1980
01:36:34,560 --> 01:36:37,280
Speaker 6: So but then they'll come back online like two days later,

1981
01:36:37,439 --> 01:36:39,360
Speaker 6: like somebody said hi to me and I feel like

1982
01:36:39,360 --> 01:36:41,720
Speaker 6: it was really aggressive and I have to leave the

1983
01:36:41,760 --> 01:36:44,479
Speaker 6: target because of it, and it's like, how are you

1984
01:36:44,520 --> 01:36:48,200
Speaker 6: the same person? You don't want confrontation? So one of

1985
01:36:48,200 --> 01:36:50,519
Speaker 6: these is a lie, and I believe that the one

1986
01:36:50,520 --> 01:36:52,519
Speaker 6: online is a lie because your true self was the

1987
01:36:52,560 --> 01:36:54,720
Speaker 6: one who was too afraid to say something when they

1988
01:36:54,720 --> 01:36:58,080
Speaker 6: got your order wrong at McDonald's. That's who you actually are,

1989
01:36:58,280 --> 01:37:01,080
Speaker 6: which is fine, nothing wrong with that, Absolutely nothing wrong

1990
01:37:01,120 --> 01:37:01,479
Speaker 6: with that.

1991
01:37:01,640 --> 01:37:05,440
Speaker 4: But to to to to.

1992
01:37:04,320 --> 01:37:07,519
Speaker 6: Say or imply that people who don't come out fighting

1993
01:37:07,640 --> 01:37:11,280
Speaker 6: every single time, every day of their life are somehow

1994
01:37:11,320 --> 01:37:14,440
Speaker 6: wrong because you say that you do when in actuality

1995
01:37:14,479 --> 01:37:17,320
Speaker 6: you don't like there are people like I say, like

1996
01:37:17,439 --> 01:37:19,840
Speaker 6: us who are more balanced, who if they got their

1997
01:37:19,920 --> 01:37:22,800
Speaker 6: order wrong at you know McDonald to be like, my.

1998
01:37:22,880 --> 01:37:25,160
Speaker 4: Order's wrong, Oh thank you.

1999
01:37:24,760 --> 01:37:27,479
Speaker 6: Go about your business, but then don't feel the need

2000
01:37:27,560 --> 01:37:31,680
Speaker 6: to come online and say and choose violence in a

2001
01:37:31,720 --> 01:37:34,880
Speaker 6: way that you wouldn't even realize.

2002
01:37:35,000 --> 01:37:37,519
Speaker 3: I knew, Like, listen, I've driven off without my mat

2003
01:37:37,560 --> 01:37:39,840
Speaker 3: nugga sous too many times to be sitting.

2004
01:37:39,640 --> 01:37:42,479
Speaker 2: Up here, particularly with Tacobaio trying to act like I

2005
01:37:42,520 --> 01:37:43,800
Speaker 2: can't wait to start some shit.

2006
01:37:44,479 --> 01:37:47,120
Speaker 3: And then but the other thing too, is like it's

2007
01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:50,360
Speaker 3: online culture and it's the language, and so to be

2008
01:37:50,479 --> 01:37:52,559
Speaker 3: in the group, you have to, Yes, you have to

2009
01:37:52,600 --> 01:37:54,920
Speaker 3: have these behaviors for a lot of these in the group.

2010
01:37:55,320 --> 01:37:57,400
Speaker 3: And so I think that's why people are starting to

2011
01:37:57,479 --> 01:38:00,120
Speaker 3: create their ownline kind of subcultures. You're looking at what

2012
01:38:00,160 --> 01:38:02,240
Speaker 3: people are doing the COPD and it's not We talk

2013
01:38:02,280 --> 01:38:04,040
Speaker 3: about the NL and social media a lot on this

2014
01:38:04,120 --> 01:38:06,160
Speaker 3: podcast because I love it, you know, I love to

2015
01:38:06,200 --> 01:38:08,200
Speaker 3: talk about it. I love what they talk about what's

2016
01:38:08,200 --> 01:38:12,080
Speaker 3: happening currently to our brains. But everyone I listen to,

2017
01:38:12,760 --> 01:38:16,400
Speaker 3: everyone is now talking about I text stuff, I group chat.

2018
01:38:16,760 --> 01:38:19,120
Speaker 3: Everyone's learning over the course of this ten years of

2019
01:38:19,400 --> 01:38:23,040
Speaker 3: unprecedented social media like this is not healthy or the

2020
01:38:23,040 --> 01:38:25,880
Speaker 3: best place for communication. I need a place where I'm

2021
01:38:25,880 --> 01:38:28,200
Speaker 3: talking to people. If I say the wrong thing, they

2022
01:38:28,200 --> 01:38:30,519
Speaker 3: can say, oh, I know this, this what you meant,

2023
01:38:30,920 --> 01:38:34,200
Speaker 3: or hey have you thought about it this way without

2024
01:38:34,200 --> 01:38:35,000
Speaker 3: it being like.

2025
01:38:34,960 --> 01:38:36,639
Speaker 2: You motherfucking piece of shit.

2026
01:38:36,760 --> 01:38:40,160
Speaker 3: And that's a huge burden of the take on mentally,

2027
01:38:40,720 --> 01:38:44,080
Speaker 3: and once again it leaves the people shutting down conversation.

2028
01:38:45,320 --> 01:38:49,080
Speaker 3: These things were sold to us as places that foment conversation,

2029
01:38:49,280 --> 01:38:52,600
Speaker 3: places that build community. That's not what these places are

2030
01:38:52,640 --> 01:38:54,639
Speaker 3: turning out to be, and it's super important to point

2031
01:38:54,640 --> 01:39:00,719
Speaker 3: that out. Andrea as Peiri, I think this. Pierre Yeah, Pararia,

2032
01:39:01,360 --> 01:39:04,679
Speaker 3: Elizabeth Harris, and Jay ran experiments in which they showed

2033
01:39:04,680 --> 01:39:07,880
Speaker 3: fake news stories about Democrats and Republicans, supporters of both sides.

2034
01:39:08,120 --> 01:39:10,040
Speaker 3: Some of the stories are positive, others were negative, and

2035
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:12,120
Speaker 3: in each case particimus will ask how much they believe

2036
01:39:12,160 --> 01:39:14,639
Speaker 3: the stories to be true. Had Trump enacted the law

2037
01:39:14,720 --> 01:39:17,439
Speaker 3: restricting minorities to have only one child? Had Hillary Clinton

2038
01:39:17,520 --> 01:39:20,479
Speaker 3: really want an ear peace during political debates. The research

2039
01:39:20,560 --> 01:39:23,839
Speaker 3: team found that people were more likely to believe stories

2040
01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:26,960
Speaker 3: about the ND group when they were positive, and more

2041
01:39:27,080 --> 01:39:29,719
Speaker 3: likely to believe stories about the outgroup when they were negative,

2042
01:39:29,920 --> 01:39:32,840
Speaker 3: and these beliefs were associated with a greater desire to

2043
01:39:32,880 --> 01:39:36,400
Speaker 3: share the stories. Remember that they were fake news on

2044
01:39:36,439 --> 01:39:39,080
Speaker 3: social media, so all of them the stories being fake,

2045
01:39:39,880 --> 01:39:43,120
Speaker 3: people are like, well, some fake shit that I would

2046
01:39:43,160 --> 01:39:46,599
Speaker 3: like to believe. These people are possible of doing so

2047
01:39:46,640 --> 01:39:49,439
Speaker 3: I'm sharing it, and that's how the fake news goes viru.

2048
01:39:49,439 --> 01:39:52,799
Speaker 3: It's why Republicans were so ahead of everybody on social

2049
01:39:52,840 --> 01:39:55,519
Speaker 3: media in twenty sixteens, because they were like it, don't

2050
01:39:55,560 --> 01:39:57,519
Speaker 3: we don't have to tell the truth about Hilly Clinton.

2051
01:39:57,800 --> 01:40:00,320
Speaker 2: People will share it. It will become the true.

2052
01:40:00,520 --> 01:40:03,360
Speaker 3: And we've watched it happen to people in real time

2053
01:40:03,360 --> 01:40:07,439
Speaker 3: where people have conflicts. Now with someone interpersonal conflicts, it's

2054
01:40:07,439 --> 01:40:10,320
Speaker 3: who runs to the internet first, Yes, sir, Like, let's

2055
01:40:10,360 --> 01:40:12,800
Speaker 3: get this narrative started. Okay, this first a piece of ship,

2056
01:40:12,880 --> 01:40:13,719
Speaker 3: don't we all agree?

2057
01:40:13,800 --> 01:40:14,040
Speaker 4: Yep?

2058
01:40:14,439 --> 01:40:17,160
Speaker 3: They a piece of shit. It's like cool, Now I've

2059
01:40:17,240 --> 01:40:19,760
Speaker 3: laid the groundwork. Every y'all will do the rest of

2060
01:40:19,800 --> 01:40:22,800
Speaker 3: the harassing for me. Every time this motherfucker breathes news

2061
01:40:22,880 --> 01:40:23,760
Speaker 3: alert yep.

2062
01:40:24,439 --> 01:40:24,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

2063
01:40:25,120 --> 01:40:29,519
Speaker 6: And then and then they'll find something eventually that'll make

2064
01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:30,559
Speaker 6: what they said true.

2065
01:40:31,080 --> 01:40:31,360
Speaker 2: Yep.

2066
01:40:31,439 --> 01:40:34,640
Speaker 6: Because anything any little thing that that leans in the

2067
01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:37,880
Speaker 6: direction that that gives them, that doesn't give them the best,

2068
01:40:38,760 --> 01:40:41,400
Speaker 6: but they'll believe because you've already set that that groundwork.

2069
01:40:41,560 --> 01:40:45,880
Speaker 4: Remember that that tweet a couple of weeks ago or

2070
01:40:46,040 --> 01:40:46,400
Speaker 4: last week.

2071
01:40:46,760 --> 01:40:51,200
Speaker 6: It's time where the person had like the report where

2072
01:40:51,200 --> 01:40:59,080
Speaker 6: it's something like, uh, increased violence linked to something, increased

2073
01:40:59,120 --> 01:41:01,639
Speaker 6: violence linked to Black Lives Matter or something like that,

2074
01:41:01,880 --> 01:41:05,160
Speaker 6: and then like they had a screenshot of like the title.

2075
01:41:05,439 --> 01:41:07,800
Speaker 6: Then they had a screenshot of it where it said

2076
01:41:09,520 --> 01:41:13,160
Speaker 6: results are inconclusive, so basically saying that it's not you

2077
01:41:13,160 --> 01:41:16,160
Speaker 6: remember that, And then the person tweeted it and had

2078
01:41:16,200 --> 01:41:21,040
Speaker 6: an entire conversation as if the first statement was true,

2079
01:41:21,479 --> 01:41:25,200
Speaker 6: even though they'd also supplied the statement where.

2080
01:41:24,560 --> 01:41:28,280
Speaker 4: It absolutely was not true, but it was. It was

2081
01:41:28,320 --> 01:41:32,120
Speaker 4: just that happened so often that it's like I don't

2082
01:41:32,120 --> 01:41:34,280
Speaker 4: even know anymore, don't even know, Like I'm sitting here

2083
01:41:34,320 --> 01:41:36,040
Speaker 4: thinking like why do I even have a Twitter? Still?

2084
01:41:36,320 --> 01:41:41,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's the next phase, because this is

2085
01:41:41,040 --> 01:41:43,920
Speaker 3: how I felt about message boards before I just stopped going.

2086
01:41:44,280 --> 01:41:47,559
Speaker 3: Like it's like, it's like, what would be the point,

2087
01:41:47,760 --> 01:41:51,280
Speaker 3: Like if everything I say is gonna end up being

2088
01:41:51,400 --> 01:41:53,800
Speaker 3: insulted or taken in a way that starts a fight.

2089
01:41:54,600 --> 01:41:56,320
Speaker 3: I actually don't come to this with the spirit I

2090
01:41:56,360 --> 01:41:59,360
Speaker 3: want to fight you, So I don't. Now I'm wasting

2091
01:41:59,400 --> 01:42:01,559
Speaker 3: my time and you can have this fight without me,

2092
01:42:01,640 --> 01:42:04,400
Speaker 3: even if I modrow up, you can demic guy, what

2093
01:42:04,439 --> 01:42:06,240
Speaker 3: I'm saying or who I am without me?

2094
01:42:07,479 --> 01:42:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are many. You know what I hate, No,

2095
01:42:10,640 --> 01:42:13,000
Speaker 2: go ahead, Oh.

2096
01:42:12,880 --> 01:42:13,559
Speaker 4: I hate that.

2097
01:42:13,640 --> 01:42:16,880
Speaker 6: I can spot when when like I'll see a tweet,

2098
01:42:17,160 --> 01:42:20,280
Speaker 6: like a random tweet, and I see it and I'm like, Okay,

2099
01:42:20,320 --> 01:42:23,240
Speaker 6: if this person ever blows up for any reason, someone's

2100
01:42:23,280 --> 01:42:25,599
Speaker 6: going to find this tweet and decide that it's terrible.

2101
01:42:26,160 --> 01:42:29,120
Speaker 6: It's innocuous now, but they're gonna find it, and it's

2102
01:42:29,120 --> 01:42:29,920
Speaker 6: going to be part of.

2103
01:42:29,920 --> 01:42:30,920
Speaker 2: The never surprised.

2104
01:42:32,120 --> 01:42:34,960
Speaker 3: I honestly be surprised when people take a chance like

2105
01:42:35,000 --> 01:42:37,960
Speaker 3: that on Twitter now, Like like somebody I know will

2106
01:42:38,000 --> 01:42:40,040
Speaker 3: tweets something and I'll be like, the balls are on you,

2107
01:42:41,040 --> 01:42:44,599
Speaker 3: all right, good luck, Like don't don't get too big

2108
01:42:44,680 --> 01:42:46,479
Speaker 3: because that ship is coming right back.

2109
01:42:48,120 --> 01:42:49,920
Speaker 6: Or you're like, oh, this person is going to be

2110
01:42:49,920 --> 01:42:53,160
Speaker 6: on the summer jen uh the summer jam screen because

2111
01:42:53,160 --> 01:42:54,880
Speaker 6: people are liking them too much right now.

2112
01:42:55,120 --> 01:42:57,759
Speaker 4: I like them way too much right now. It's coming.

2113
01:42:57,920 --> 01:42:59,479
Speaker 4: That's what we always predicted.

2114
01:42:59,680 --> 01:43:02,280
Speaker 2: That's a real thing I talked about Saturday.

2115
01:43:01,640 --> 01:43:06,320
Speaker 3: I now feel detachment, and I don't think that's one

2116
01:43:06,680 --> 01:43:11,479
Speaker 3: percent healthy. I preferred to like people and things, but

2117
01:43:11,640 --> 01:43:14,240
Speaker 3: now it's like before it even the cycle can start.

2118
01:43:14,240 --> 01:43:16,720
Speaker 3: I'm already like I'm not rooting for this person. And

2119
01:43:16,760 --> 01:43:18,920
Speaker 3: it's not even like I'm rooting against them. It's just

2120
01:43:18,960 --> 01:43:21,960
Speaker 3: like I'm not getting invested in there. I was talking

2121
01:43:21,960 --> 01:43:24,800
Speaker 3: to my friend the other day and she was talking

2122
01:43:24,800 --> 01:43:28,120
Speaker 3: about some celarty and I just the phrase I use is,

2123
01:43:28,160 --> 01:43:30,680
Speaker 3: if you go on a scavenger for humanity, you.

2124
01:43:30,640 --> 01:43:33,479
Speaker 2: Will find it. You're gonna always find it.

2125
01:43:33,520 --> 01:43:35,960
Speaker 3: So if you feel a way about a person that

2126
01:43:35,960 --> 01:43:38,760
Speaker 3: there's something about them, there's something about everybody.

2127
01:43:38,800 --> 01:43:40,400
Speaker 2: There's something about you, there's something about me.

2128
01:43:40,960 --> 01:43:44,280
Speaker 3: There's no like if that is your if that's gonna

2129
01:43:44,280 --> 01:43:46,639
Speaker 3: be the bar you use, the culture you use, you're.

2130
01:43:46,520 --> 01:43:49,680
Speaker 2: Gonna always be having it. So why even start with that.

2131
01:43:49,760 --> 01:43:53,799
Speaker 3: I don't even want to get involved in that process.

2132
01:43:53,960 --> 01:43:56,639
Speaker 3: Most of the time it's obvious and people ignore it

2133
01:43:56,840 --> 01:44:00,840
Speaker 3: until it's just until it's convenient. You know, was very

2134
01:44:00,840 --> 01:44:04,920
Speaker 3: homophobic and misogynistic when he first popped up, and now.

2135
01:44:04,880 --> 01:44:07,479
Speaker 2: He's got a huge social media following.

2136
01:44:07,600 --> 01:44:10,360
Speaker 3: Now everyone's trying to point out like, oh, y'all notice

2137
01:44:10,400 --> 01:44:13,679
Speaker 3: this guy's Homophone'm like, did y'all not see this cycle starting?

2138
01:44:14,200 --> 01:44:14,360
Speaker 4: Now?

2139
01:44:14,760 --> 01:44:17,000
Speaker 3: This is not to say my mom should stop calling

2140
01:44:17,040 --> 01:44:19,679
Speaker 3: me and doing her killer Kwame Brown impression.

2141
01:44:19,840 --> 01:44:22,320
Speaker 2: Okay, so Mom, I know you listen to the show.

2142
01:44:22,560 --> 01:44:23,559
Speaker 2: Please feel free.

2143
01:44:23,400 --> 01:44:26,519
Speaker 3: To continue to call me and ask me, ask me

2144
01:44:26,560 --> 01:44:28,000
Speaker 3: if I'm ducking you and stuff like that.

2145
01:44:29,200 --> 01:44:29,439
Speaker 4: Boy.

2146
01:44:30,080 --> 01:44:32,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, but y'all get my point anyway back, there are

2147
01:44:32,680 --> 01:44:35,920
Speaker 3: many contributors to the dunster fighters our contemporary online ecosystem.

2148
01:44:35,960 --> 01:44:39,720
Speaker 3: As the evolutionary biologist E. O. Wilson put it, the

2149
01:44:39,760 --> 01:44:43,600
Speaker 3: real problem in humanity is the following. We have paleolithic emotions,

2150
01:44:43,720 --> 01:44:48,000
Speaker 3: medieval institutions, and god like technology, and it's terrifically dangerous

2151
01:44:48,000 --> 01:44:51,800
Speaker 3: and is now approaching a point of crisis overall. Yeah,

2152
01:44:51,800 --> 01:44:56,120
Speaker 3: you would think, after you know, having literal elections and

2153
01:44:56,560 --> 01:45:00,559
Speaker 3: causing deaths and harassment and terrorism, you would I think

2154
01:45:00,640 --> 01:45:03,400
Speaker 3: we would look at it at as different than they

2155
01:45:03,439 --> 01:45:07,080
Speaker 3: just sell it, you know. But the three finders above

2156
01:45:07,120 --> 01:45:09,320
Speaker 3: show that groups and social identities we derived from them

2157
01:45:09,320 --> 01:45:11,640
Speaker 3: are central to understanding and ultimately solving many of the

2158
01:45:11,640 --> 01:45:15,679
Speaker 3: problems in our online worlds. Negativity thrives in online spaces, yes,

2159
01:45:15,720 --> 01:45:20,320
Speaker 3: but negativity directly at out groups is especially potent. Online

2160
01:45:20,320 --> 01:45:24,280
Speaker 3: harassment has become depressingly common, creating toxic environments, especially for

2161
01:45:24,320 --> 01:45:26,920
Speaker 3: people with minority or marginalized identities.

2162
01:45:27,560 --> 01:45:30,000
Speaker 2: Which is something that I want to point out is

2163
01:45:31,920 --> 01:45:33,160
Speaker 2: when it is pointed.

2164
01:45:32,840 --> 01:45:35,320
Speaker 3: At us, it is very easy for us to identify

2165
01:45:35,439 --> 01:45:39,519
Speaker 3: why these tools are very bad, right, right, very easy

2166
01:45:39,520 --> 01:45:41,080
Speaker 3: for us to be like, this is what's wrong with

2167
01:45:41,080 --> 01:45:43,360
Speaker 3: social media. Look how it does black people, black women,

2168
01:45:43,439 --> 01:45:44,480
Speaker 3: blah blah blah.

2169
01:45:44,760 --> 01:45:47,879
Speaker 2: When we are using the same tools to each other.

2170
01:45:47,760 --> 01:45:51,599
Speaker 3: And other people, we are now feeling empowered by those

2171
01:45:51,640 --> 01:45:54,840
Speaker 3: and I'm like that that's just a gunpointed the other way.

2172
01:45:55,320 --> 01:45:57,000
Speaker 2: Still a fucking gun, right.

2173
01:45:57,560 --> 01:45:58,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

2174
01:45:58,960 --> 01:46:01,840
Speaker 3: Much of this harassment on the psychology of outrage and

2175
01:46:01,880 --> 01:46:04,200
Speaker 3: blame that it's triggered when someone is perceived that violated

2176
01:46:04,200 --> 01:46:06,479
Speaker 3: the group norm. This helps to explain why some of

2177
01:46:06,479 --> 01:46:08,519
Speaker 3: the worst bullying online comes from people in the same

2178
01:46:08,560 --> 01:46:10,040
Speaker 3: groups and communities.

2179
01:46:09,560 --> 01:46:12,599
Speaker 2: As they're victims, and not all this information is equal.

2180
01:46:12,640 --> 01:46:15,280
Speaker 3: Which fake facts are spread and believed depends on the

2181
01:46:15,439 --> 01:46:17,559
Speaker 3: like they cask for, good or ill on.

2182
01:46:17,720 --> 01:46:19,439
Speaker 2: In groups and out groups.

2183
01:46:19,720 --> 01:46:22,639
Speaker 3: The Internet revolution has vastly increased the amount of information

2184
01:46:22,720 --> 01:46:25,880
Speaker 3: available to ordinary citizens, but our level of engagement with

2185
01:46:25,920 --> 01:46:29,679
Speaker 3: this information is often sadly lackluster. By some accounts, people

2186
01:46:29,720 --> 01:46:31,880
Speaker 3: scroll through the equivalent of three hundred feet of their

2187
01:46:31,880 --> 01:46:33,519
Speaker 3: social media fees every day.

2188
01:46:33,479 --> 01:46:34,320
Speaker 5: Three hundred feet.

2189
01:46:34,600 --> 01:46:36,360
Speaker 2: I believe it, you know what.

2190
01:46:37,040 --> 01:46:39,720
Speaker 7: I'm better, you know, because there was some period of

2191
01:46:39,800 --> 01:46:42,400
Speaker 7: time I think I scrolled the whole football field. I

2192
01:46:42,439 --> 01:46:44,720
Speaker 7: will be literally on that for hours, scro because and

2193
01:46:44,760 --> 01:46:46,200
Speaker 7: you know, and I know they did this thing one time,

2194
01:46:46,200 --> 01:46:47,639
Speaker 7: but they were like, do you think we should stop

2195
01:46:47,640 --> 01:46:48,240
Speaker 7: in the scrolls?

2196
01:46:48,280 --> 01:46:50,960
Speaker 5: I said yes, for people like me, yes, I need

2197
01:46:51,000 --> 01:46:51,439
Speaker 5: that help.

2198
01:46:51,680 --> 01:46:53,720
Speaker 4: Stop in this scroll Just just have.

2199
01:46:53,760 --> 01:46:55,240
Speaker 5: Some pop up and be like, you know what you've

2200
01:46:55,280 --> 01:46:57,639
Speaker 5: been on here thirty minutes. You need to take a break. Yes,

2201
01:46:57,680 --> 01:46:58,080
Speaker 5: stop it?

2202
01:46:58,720 --> 01:47:00,880
Speaker 3: Uh And the only few of few things pop out

2203
01:47:01,000 --> 01:47:03,920
Speaker 3: enough to capture attention. People have learned that invoking or

2204
01:47:03,960 --> 01:47:06,120
Speaker 3: threatening the group identity can cut through the noise and

2205
01:47:06,160 --> 01:47:07,959
Speaker 3: trigger an immediate defensive response.

2206
01:47:08,320 --> 01:47:09,640
Speaker 2: This was beautifully.

2207
01:47:09,120 --> 01:47:13,160
Speaker 3: Illustrated by April fools prank, executed by NPR twenty fourteen.

2208
01:47:13,200 --> 01:47:16,599
Speaker 3: They posted an article with the provocative headline why doesn't

2209
01:47:16,640 --> 01:47:19,880
Speaker 3: America Read Anymore? If you click the link and read

2210
01:47:19,880 --> 01:47:22,679
Speaker 3: the article, you saw this. We sometimes get the sense

2211
01:47:22,720 --> 01:47:25,639
Speaker 3: that people are commenting on NPR stories that they haven't

2212
01:47:25,640 --> 01:47:28,000
Speaker 3: actually read. If you're reading this, please like this post

2213
01:47:28,000 --> 01:47:30,680
Speaker 3: and do not comment on it. Then let's see what

2214
01:47:30,760 --> 01:47:33,800
Speaker 3: people have to say about this story. Right before long,

2215
01:47:33,840 --> 01:47:36,760
Speaker 3: their comment section was full of strenuous opinion all over

2216
01:47:36,760 --> 01:47:39,880
Speaker 3: the place from people who hadn't bothered to read enough

2217
01:47:39,920 --> 01:47:42,639
Speaker 3: text to realize it was a gag. One at person

2218
01:47:42,640 --> 01:47:47,599
Speaker 3: angrily wrote, speak for yourself, my husband, family forsel my husband, myself,

2219
01:47:47,640 --> 01:47:51,120
Speaker 3: my family and friends read books all the time.

2220
01:47:51,400 --> 01:47:54,839
Speaker 5: I mean, this is MPR. I mean, come on, MPR,

2221
01:47:55,400 --> 01:47:57,600
Speaker 5: the people. That's like our whole job.

2222
01:47:57,479 --> 01:48:00,160
Speaker 7: Is to educate people because people are stripping all the education.

2223
01:48:01,360 --> 01:48:07,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wild because you honestly are bringing yours. You're

2224
01:48:07,920 --> 01:48:09,680
Speaker 2: bringing your own insecurities to that thing.

2225
01:48:09,760 --> 01:48:12,000
Speaker 3: It's like it's a funhouse mirror and you looked at

2226
01:48:12,000 --> 01:48:13,360
Speaker 3: it and said, I don't like what I'm saying.

2227
01:48:13,360 --> 01:48:16,639
Speaker 2: It's like, move to another mirror.

2228
01:48:17,600 --> 01:48:21,839
Speaker 3: This norm towards rapid reactions and combative postures can affect everyone,

2229
01:48:21,960 --> 01:48:24,479
Speaker 3: even as it turns out the most analytical among us

2230
01:48:25,040 --> 01:48:27,800
Speaker 3: the might This might be why Nate Silver, founder of

2231
01:48:27,880 --> 01:48:30,479
Speaker 3: data driven site five thirty eight, dunked on one of

2232
01:48:30,479 --> 01:48:33,479
Speaker 3: our recent papers with a contrarian hot take, arguing that

2233
01:48:33,520 --> 01:48:37,519
Speaker 3: the paper wasn't written by enough interdisciplinary experts. Ironically, the

2234
01:48:37,560 --> 01:48:40,080
Speaker 3: contested paper in question had in fact been written by

2235
01:48:40,200 --> 01:48:43,400
Speaker 3: an interdisciplinary group of scholars in an attempt to better

2236
01:48:43,439 --> 01:48:46,679
Speaker 3: understand the crisis, the selective behavior that social media platforms

2237
01:48:46,720 --> 01:48:49,400
Speaker 3: and the attention economy have wrought, along with what might

2238
01:48:49,400 --> 01:48:52,840
Speaker 3: be done about it. Yeah, Nate Silver is a hype now.

2239
01:48:53,120 --> 01:48:56,320
Speaker 3: He definitely on that Internet juice man, Like, you.

2240
01:48:56,320 --> 01:49:00,559
Speaker 6: Know what, you know what that reminds me of how

2241
01:49:01,040 --> 01:49:04,800
Speaker 6: people love it when like somebody was like, well if

2242
01:49:04,840 --> 01:49:09,360
Speaker 6: you knew anything about urban development and the person be like, well,

2243
01:49:09,400 --> 01:49:12,160
Speaker 6: I actually invented urban development or want the city of

2244
01:49:12,160 --> 01:49:15,120
Speaker 6: Oakland or whatever. But what's funny is like, that's hilarious

2245
01:49:15,160 --> 01:49:18,680
Speaker 6: to us. But when somebody decides to like have like

2246
01:49:18,760 --> 01:49:23,400
Speaker 6: this this uh take on something that they're not qualified

2247
01:49:23,439 --> 01:49:26,519
Speaker 6: to have, but they still fight for their right to

2248
01:49:26,600 --> 01:49:28,560
Speaker 6: have that take. If it's on our side, you know

2249
01:49:28,600 --> 01:49:31,120
Speaker 6: what I'm saying, Like, what's our side? Then don't listen

2250
01:49:31,160 --> 01:49:34,880
Speaker 6: to doctors, will listen to professionals. Nobody understands it, but

2251
01:49:34,960 --> 01:49:36,800
Speaker 6: I run enough tweets to understand it.

2252
01:49:37,120 --> 01:49:39,800
Speaker 4: But they're the same people who like clown you know.

2253
01:49:39,840 --> 01:49:43,840
Speaker 3: It's like the same thing how people react to the

2254
01:49:43,880 --> 01:49:44,879
Speaker 3: CDC guidance.

2255
01:49:45,479 --> 01:49:48,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, because for a long time it's projecting.

2256
01:49:49,040 --> 01:49:51,360
Speaker 3: For a long time, it was saying all the things

2257
01:49:51,439 --> 01:49:53,920
Speaker 3: that people like me want them to say.

2258
01:49:54,680 --> 01:49:58,400
Speaker 2: It was like, yo, the science, the mask, this dude,

2259
01:49:58,439 --> 01:49:59,680
Speaker 2: just do what they're telling you to do.

2260
01:50:00,080 --> 01:50:02,840
Speaker 3: Feet And then at some point they're like, all right,

2261
01:50:02,920 --> 01:50:05,600
Speaker 3: there is enough people have been vaccinated, or this is

2262
01:50:05,640 --> 01:50:08,800
Speaker 3: as many as we're going to get, or we need

2263
01:50:08,800 --> 01:50:10,920
Speaker 3: to look at the psychology and give some people some

2264
01:50:10,960 --> 01:50:14,280
Speaker 3: incentives rather than try to just make everyone feel negative.

2265
01:50:15,240 --> 01:50:18,439
Speaker 3: I watched people just flip sides completely, like just it

2266
01:50:18,479 --> 01:50:20,719
Speaker 3: went like it was like fuck them, scientists.

2267
01:50:20,760 --> 01:50:22,000
Speaker 2: It's like you just told me.

2268
01:50:22,160 --> 01:50:24,680
Speaker 6: They don't know what they're talking about. They don't know

2269
01:50:24,680 --> 01:50:27,200
Speaker 6: what they're talking about, they don't know blah blah blah.

2270
01:50:27,360 --> 01:50:30,320
Speaker 6: I know that you don't want them to CDC. I

2271
01:50:30,400 --> 01:50:32,280
Speaker 6: think they want people to die, like I don't know

2272
01:50:32,400 --> 01:50:34,680
Speaker 6: what about you know what I noticed too when it

2273
01:50:34,760 --> 01:50:37,640
Speaker 6: came to like the whole turkey leg hut things.

2274
01:50:37,280 --> 01:50:40,160
Speaker 4: And likes, it went from you.

2275
01:50:40,160 --> 01:50:41,559
Speaker 6: Have to wear a mask to see me, have to

2276
01:50:41,560 --> 01:50:45,920
Speaker 6: wear shoes and shirt and shoes and say establishment and

2277
01:50:45,920 --> 01:50:46,439
Speaker 6: then now.

2278
01:50:46,320 --> 01:50:48,720
Speaker 4: It's like nobody can tell me what I can wear.

2279
01:50:48,760 --> 01:50:52,040
Speaker 4: I can wear whatever I want to, like, right, I

2280
01:50:52,280 --> 01:50:54,200
Speaker 4: remember it was a private business, so they're allowed to

2281
01:50:54,200 --> 01:50:56,679
Speaker 4: tell you to wear a mask. My shit was private business.

2282
01:50:56,920 --> 01:50:57,960
Speaker 2: My shit was.

2283
01:50:58,000 --> 01:51:01,120
Speaker 3: When Derek Jackson cheated on his wife and he did

2284
01:51:01,160 --> 01:51:04,240
Speaker 3: that video and they clown that woman wearing her bonnet

2285
01:51:04,280 --> 01:51:08,479
Speaker 3: in her house, in her house, and then Monique said

2286
01:51:08,520 --> 01:51:09,360
Speaker 3: something about bonnis.

2287
01:51:09,400 --> 01:51:12,280
Speaker 2: These niggas start acting like they had from a fucking.

2288
01:51:12,000 --> 01:51:16,360
Speaker 3: African medallion bonnets that they were like, it's like, y'all

2289
01:51:16,400 --> 01:51:19,360
Speaker 3: don't even really do all that, and like I'm not even.

2290
01:51:19,160 --> 01:51:21,360
Speaker 2: And that's not even saying you should be ashamed or nothing.

2291
01:51:21,400 --> 01:51:22,519
Speaker 2: It's just it's just.

2292
01:51:22,479 --> 01:51:24,360
Speaker 4: Like, y'all, it's.

2293
01:51:23,840 --> 01:51:26,120
Speaker 3: Okay, not to care. You just you don't even do this.

2294
01:51:26,320 --> 01:51:28,519
Speaker 3: Like I looked at the dress code thing for Turkey

2295
01:51:28,720 --> 01:51:31,240
Speaker 3: and it was like, you know, like, hey, don't I

2296
01:51:31,280 --> 01:51:33,120
Speaker 3: don't know, don't wear a thong and torque on the table.

2297
01:51:33,120 --> 01:51:35,960
Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't that reasonable?

2298
01:51:36,360 --> 01:51:38,320
Speaker 2: Like some of it that okay, I get it, buddy.

2299
01:51:38,439 --> 01:51:42,040
Speaker 2: Maybe you had some people come in there and do list.

2300
01:51:41,479 --> 01:51:43,519
Speaker 4: My brother said, in order for them to come up

2301
01:51:43,560 --> 01:51:45,719
Speaker 4: with that list, people were in there. Wow.

2302
01:51:46,479 --> 01:51:48,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, realized yes, it was.

2303
01:51:48,640 --> 01:51:51,599
Speaker 6: A last and I'm not gonna take another you know

2304
01:51:52,200 --> 01:51:54,800
Speaker 6: person in a song and flip flop.

2305
01:51:54,960 --> 01:51:55,760
Speaker 4: I'm not. I had.

2306
01:51:56,200 --> 01:52:00,160
Speaker 3: I had a teacher once that we were in class

2307
01:52:00,240 --> 01:52:03,439
Speaker 3: and we were just very disrespectful to this man and

2308
01:52:03,479 --> 01:52:08,080
Speaker 3: people were laughing and clown to him, and I'm you know,

2309
01:52:08,280 --> 01:52:10,160
Speaker 3: the impact of me jumped the fuck out. I was

2310
01:52:10,320 --> 01:52:13,280
Speaker 3: very young, but I felt so bad for this, for

2311
01:52:13,320 --> 01:52:15,840
Speaker 3: this teacher. He's a black man too, but the kids

2312
01:52:15,840 --> 01:52:18,360
Speaker 3: were so disrespectful, and I was a class planner even

2313
01:52:18,439 --> 01:52:18,760
Speaker 3: I was.

2314
01:52:18,720 --> 01:52:21,559
Speaker 2: Like, no, I'm not this man is about to break

2315
01:52:22,200 --> 01:52:22,519
Speaker 2: or you.

2316
01:52:22,400 --> 01:52:23,960
Speaker 5: Can see it. Yeah, you can see. Some of the

2317
01:52:24,000 --> 01:52:25,240
Speaker 5: kids don't pay that shit to take.

2318
01:52:25,360 --> 01:52:28,600
Speaker 3: Someone threw a battery at him. It didn't hit on,

2319
01:52:28,880 --> 01:52:32,599
Speaker 3: but they threw a battery at him, and he cussed

2320
01:52:32,640 --> 01:52:36,000
Speaker 3: everybody in that classroom the fuck out and I was

2321
01:52:36,120 --> 01:52:37,840
Speaker 3: And it was one of those things where like he

2322
01:52:38,040 --> 01:52:39,720
Speaker 3: they ended up like being like, we're going to talk

2323
01:52:39,760 --> 01:52:41,880
Speaker 3: to him about this, blah blah, And all I could

2324
01:52:41,880 --> 01:52:45,439
Speaker 3: think was like, did you not see the battery throwing

2325
01:52:45,680 --> 01:52:46,759
Speaker 3: and the other ship.

2326
01:52:46,560 --> 01:52:47,280
Speaker 2: That led up to this?

2327
01:52:47,520 --> 01:52:51,880
Speaker 3: Sometimes all they sees the reaction and with Turkey Hut

2328
01:52:51,880 --> 01:52:53,640
Speaker 3: and that other place in Texas.

2329
01:52:53,920 --> 01:52:56,400
Speaker 2: You just see the reaction and then you go look

2330
01:52:56,439 --> 01:52:58,479
Speaker 2: at these respectability of politics and.

2331
01:52:59,000 --> 01:53:00,760
Speaker 3: No, I'm like, I don't know if they was in

2332
01:53:00,800 --> 01:53:03,000
Speaker 3: there doing all that shit. That's not like a whack

2333
01:53:03,080 --> 01:53:04,559
Speaker 3: restaurant that I would walk out.

2334
01:53:04,400 --> 01:53:05,240
Speaker 2: Of, right.

2335
01:53:05,280 --> 01:53:08,519
Speaker 7: And I remember the one years ago, I think last year,

2336
01:53:08,560 --> 01:53:09,880
Speaker 7: year before last, where.

2337
01:53:11,160 --> 01:53:12,960
Speaker 5: They were dancing on the tables and stuff.

2338
01:53:13,040 --> 01:53:13,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it.

2339
01:53:13,640 --> 01:53:14,720
Speaker 5: And the dude came out with that.

2340
01:53:14,720 --> 01:53:18,400
Speaker 7: Speech, and I understood what people were saying about his

2341
01:53:18,439 --> 01:53:21,599
Speaker 7: speech being politally correct, but bitch, if I own the restaurant,

2342
01:53:21,680 --> 01:53:23,680
Speaker 7: you dancing on my tables, yes, I'm gonna say some

2343
01:53:23,720 --> 01:53:24,240
Speaker 7: shit you.

2344
01:53:24,600 --> 01:53:27,439
Speaker 2: That's the thing. He was seven thirty hot at that moment,

2345
01:53:28,160 --> 01:53:29,640
Speaker 2: Like that's like maybe.

2346
01:53:29,400 --> 01:53:31,760
Speaker 3: He says now whatever, But he had been pushed and

2347
01:53:31,760 --> 01:53:33,880
Speaker 3: that was just a snippet of what we saw. He

2348
01:53:34,000 --> 01:53:35,760
Speaker 3: had been pushed so far that he gave one of

2349
01:53:35,800 --> 01:53:39,599
Speaker 3: the motherfucking like Cliff Huxtable's beaches or whatever the fuck.

2350
01:53:39,680 --> 01:53:42,599
Speaker 3: And everybody was reacting to that like, look at this shit.

2351
01:53:43,160 --> 01:53:45,320
Speaker 3: And I also the other thing that's weird is why

2352
01:53:45,439 --> 01:53:49,160
Speaker 3: is why does black freedom always have to be that

2353
01:53:49,240 --> 01:53:52,080
Speaker 3: kind of sh like it can never be like black

2354
01:53:52,080 --> 01:53:54,639
Speaker 3: freedom of other shit. It always it's always people want

2355
01:53:54,680 --> 01:53:56,400
Speaker 3: to at least online, because I don't think it's like

2356
01:53:56,439 --> 01:53:59,400
Speaker 3: this in real life. People always want to pin blackness

2357
01:53:59,479 --> 01:54:02,519
Speaker 3: to like some wild ship, like, oh, well I can't.

2358
01:54:03,040 --> 01:54:05,280
Speaker 3: You can't pull your dick out of the restaurant.

2359
01:54:04,960 --> 01:54:06,280
Speaker 2: Like, no, no, that.

2360
01:54:06,320 --> 01:54:09,799
Speaker 5: Is not inherent, No, no, sir. I wanted for lame Mignon.

2361
01:54:09,920 --> 01:54:12,280
Speaker 7: I didn't want forilet Mignon with a side of balls

2362
01:54:12,280 --> 01:54:15,200
Speaker 7: and dick. I wanted for lay mignon. Keep your pants. Oh,

2363
01:54:15,240 --> 01:54:17,920
Speaker 7: people act ridiculous. People act like you tell them to

2364
01:54:17,920 --> 01:54:20,639
Speaker 7: do anything. It's the worst thing ever. You're like, come on, y'all,

2365
01:54:20,680 --> 01:54:21,479
Speaker 7: we got to have boundary.

2366
01:54:21,600 --> 01:54:24,479
Speaker 2: My point being, that's not inherently and.

2367
01:54:26,160 --> 01:54:28,519
Speaker 4: People who talk the most about it aren't doing that.

2368
01:54:28,600 --> 01:54:29,639
Speaker 4: You're not doing that.

2369
01:54:30,760 --> 01:54:33,280
Speaker 6: I've seen you before. You're not going to a restaurant

2370
01:54:33,280 --> 01:54:36,080
Speaker 6: and jumping on the table. Not you going to trap

2371
01:54:36,240 --> 01:54:39,120
Speaker 6: brunch because of the novelty for you. It's not your

2372
01:54:39,160 --> 01:54:41,840
Speaker 6: every day it's a freaking novelty for you. So why

2373
01:54:41,840 --> 01:54:44,800
Speaker 6: are you acting like it's anti black to say anything else?

2374
01:54:45,440 --> 01:54:47,160
Speaker 4: This the whole idea, I'm gouble, I don't care.

2375
01:54:47,280 --> 01:54:51,240
Speaker 6: This whole idea is that respectability politics, as if our

2376
01:54:51,280 --> 01:54:53,880
Speaker 6: grandmothers weren't like if you don't look, if you don't

2377
01:54:53,880 --> 01:54:57,640
Speaker 6: walk out this house looking like somebody loves you. And

2378
01:54:57,720 --> 01:55:00,320
Speaker 6: my mother was like, you cannot leave the house like

2379
01:55:00,320 --> 01:55:03,800
Speaker 6: you're unloved. That was a staple. And if I go

2380
01:55:03,840 --> 01:55:06,080
Speaker 6: out of the house looking like I'm unloved, it's because

2381
01:55:06,080 --> 01:55:06,760
Speaker 6: I'm going.

2382
01:55:06,560 --> 01:55:08,960
Speaker 4: Through something like black people are are.

2383
01:55:09,440 --> 01:55:12,280
Speaker 6: When I say clean, I mean clean as in shock,

2384
01:55:12,520 --> 01:55:15,560
Speaker 6: Like that's what we're known for. We clown other people

2385
01:55:15,560 --> 01:55:17,480
Speaker 6: for not knowing how to dress. We clown people for

2386
01:55:18,040 --> 01:55:21,400
Speaker 6: going out. There's always every every college had the one

2387
01:55:21,400 --> 01:55:23,880
Speaker 6: white dude who'd wear shorts in the winter, Like we

2388
01:55:24,360 --> 01:55:27,880
Speaker 6: talk about those people. When did it become like flipped

2389
01:55:27,920 --> 01:55:29,800
Speaker 6: in that way. I'm saying, do whatever it is.

2390
01:55:29,800 --> 01:55:32,920
Speaker 4: You need to do, but don't act like it's unheard of.

2391
01:55:33,360 --> 01:55:35,040
Speaker 3: I just don't think. I just don't like that they

2392
01:55:35,120 --> 01:55:38,000
Speaker 3: attach it. They attach it to like the correct form

2393
01:55:38,040 --> 01:55:40,440
Speaker 3: of blackness. I think that's just weird. Yeah, you know,

2394
01:55:40,640 --> 01:55:43,440
Speaker 3: it's like, how can we be this monolithic group that

2395
01:55:43,520 --> 01:55:46,000
Speaker 3: all washes our legs but also at the same time

2396
01:55:46,080 --> 01:55:48,240
Speaker 3: are cool with people putting their legs on the table.

2397
01:55:48,440 --> 01:55:51,200
Speaker 2: At the restaurant. We're not, We're not and that.

2398
01:55:51,680 --> 01:55:54,560
Speaker 3: Like I said that, the election was a huge wake

2399
01:55:54,640 --> 01:55:57,920
Speaker 3: up call for me in twenty sixteen and in the

2400
01:55:57,960 --> 01:56:02,240
Speaker 3: primaries of twenty twenty because it was like everything I'm

2401
01:56:02,280 --> 01:56:04,360
Speaker 3: reading is the opposite of what is happening.

2402
01:56:04,440 --> 01:56:06,320
Speaker 7: Yes, because we were talking to people when we was like,

2403
01:56:06,360 --> 01:56:09,160
Speaker 7: particularly with Joe Biden, it was like, y'all we from

2404
01:56:09,200 --> 01:56:09,960
Speaker 7: down south, and.

2405
01:56:10,040 --> 01:56:13,280
Speaker 5: Everybody we talking to that's not online. It's like the.

2406
01:56:13,600 --> 01:56:15,640
Speaker 2: Joe, we don't know who they're talking about.

2407
01:56:16,120 --> 01:56:16,960
Speaker 5: Is we go on for Joe.

2408
01:56:17,320 --> 01:56:19,160
Speaker 2: What's funny is they put it on the South. Joe

2409
01:56:19,160 --> 01:56:23,200
Speaker 2: won Autumn State, like they make it seem like you

2410
01:56:23,360 --> 01:56:24,160
Speaker 2: niggas down south.

2411
01:56:24,200 --> 01:56:26,400
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know, that's the niggas been fucking

2412
01:56:26,400 --> 01:56:29,000
Speaker 3: Colorado and Nevada and shit, he ain't winning nowhere.

2413
01:56:29,160 --> 01:56:31,800
Speaker 2: So uh like Bernie, Bernie was losing everywhere.

2414
01:56:31,840 --> 01:56:32,120
Speaker 6: It was.

2415
01:56:32,360 --> 01:56:35,960
Speaker 3: But it was again it's this weird inverted blackness online

2416
01:56:36,000 --> 01:56:38,640
Speaker 3: that became like all black people are socialists.

2417
01:56:38,720 --> 01:56:38,960
Speaker 2: Duh.

2418
01:56:39,200 --> 01:56:43,000
Speaker 3: It's like that's not that is no one's experience, that

2419
01:56:43,160 --> 01:56:44,400
Speaker 3: is nobody's.

2420
01:56:44,480 --> 01:56:49,160
Speaker 4: Quickly How quickly they turned on on old southern black people. Yes,

2421
01:56:49,240 --> 01:56:50,320
Speaker 4: all of a sudden, they were.

2422
01:56:50,200 --> 01:56:53,400
Speaker 6: The dumbest dummies whoever dummied in their entire life.

2423
01:56:53,480 --> 01:56:55,360
Speaker 4: Like they were quick and they were free. That's the

2424
01:56:55,360 --> 01:56:55,920
Speaker 4: thing they don't.

2425
01:56:55,960 --> 01:56:58,440
Speaker 6: I don't like they say stuff like that and then

2426
01:56:58,520 --> 01:57:02,120
Speaker 6: leave the door open or white people to disrespect black

2427
01:57:02,160 --> 01:57:04,120
Speaker 6: people on like a socialist tip.

2428
01:57:04,200 --> 01:57:06,440
Speaker 4: But it's not about black people. It's about socialism. It's

2429
01:57:06,440 --> 01:57:09,520
Speaker 4: about you know, the capitalism and blah blah blah blah blah.

2430
01:57:09,560 --> 01:57:10,000
Speaker 4: Because they know.

2431
01:57:10,040 --> 01:57:12,920
Speaker 6: But you're giving, you're you're you're opening the door to

2432
01:57:13,040 --> 01:57:16,160
Speaker 6: let people be very disrespectful to black folks, yep, in

2433
01:57:16,200 --> 01:57:18,360
Speaker 6: a way that you would not tolerate if it wasn't

2434
01:57:18,400 --> 01:57:19,720
Speaker 6: something that you also agreed with.

2435
01:57:19,840 --> 01:57:21,200
Speaker 4: Jim Cliven I didn't like.

2436
01:57:21,240 --> 01:57:25,320
Speaker 3: I didn't like that they just called Jim Claburn Michael killer.

2437
01:57:25,400 --> 01:57:26,960
Speaker 2: Mike just called him.

2438
01:57:27,160 --> 01:57:29,320
Speaker 3: He just called Jim Calvern stupid in a room full

2439
01:57:29,360 --> 01:57:30,280
Speaker 3: of fucking white people.

2440
01:57:30,360 --> 01:57:33,160
Speaker 2: Like what, bro, what part of the game is this?

2441
01:57:33,480 --> 01:57:35,960
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like who was that for?

2442
01:57:36,240 --> 01:57:39,000
Speaker 2: Because it's not for us. You know, even if you

2443
01:57:39,040 --> 01:57:40,720
Speaker 2: felt that way about James.

2444
01:57:40,520 --> 01:57:45,560
Speaker 3: Cliburn, you're saying that shit into the black folks, Like yeah, yes,

2445
01:57:46,760 --> 01:57:47,600
Speaker 3: like I.

2446
01:57:47,520 --> 01:57:51,960
Speaker 6: Remember, I remember, uh like like Jesse Jackson. My dad

2447
01:57:52,120 --> 01:57:54,680
Speaker 6: was never the biggest fan of Jesse Jackson. But I

2448
01:57:54,680 --> 01:57:57,200
Speaker 6: would never be able to like twist my mouth to

2449
01:57:57,240 --> 01:58:00,000
Speaker 6: say something fucked up about Jesse Jackson because you respect

2450
01:58:00,120 --> 01:58:01,920
Speaker 6: the people who did the work in a way that

2451
01:58:02,000 --> 01:58:04,720
Speaker 6: we didn't do. And that's all out the window, like

2452
01:58:04,760 --> 01:58:07,600
Speaker 6: all of a sudden, you're not supposed to like you're

2453
01:58:07,640 --> 01:58:08,120
Speaker 6: not supposed to.

2454
01:58:08,280 --> 01:58:11,080
Speaker 4: Oh my god. It drives me crazy to hear people

2455
01:58:11,120 --> 01:58:13,960
Speaker 4: talk about like people who were civil rights like they

2456
01:58:14,120 --> 01:58:18,280
Speaker 4: get their heads dashed in they were bloody for this,

2457
01:58:18,680 --> 01:58:20,840
Speaker 4: and you have you have, you have the mouth to

2458
01:58:20,880 --> 01:58:23,960
Speaker 4: say something to them about about some shit you learned

2459
01:58:24,040 --> 01:58:25,600
Speaker 4: last week. Are you joking?

2460
01:58:26,200 --> 01:58:28,200
Speaker 6: You can disagree with them all day long, but don't

2461
01:58:28,200 --> 01:58:30,400
Speaker 6: add that they never did anything for black people.

2462
01:58:30,680 --> 01:58:33,720
Speaker 2: God, oh people people that have done nothing more than tweet.

2463
01:58:33,920 --> 01:58:37,720
Speaker 3: Going to Angela Davis, I'm like, oh my god, Like

2464
01:58:37,800 --> 01:58:40,280
Speaker 3: the state tried to put this woman in prison for

2465
01:58:40,400 --> 01:58:43,400
Speaker 3: life or a murder she didn't commit. I think she'll

2466
01:58:43,440 --> 01:58:47,040
Speaker 3: be okay that you didn't like that she uh is

2467
01:58:47,160 --> 01:58:49,400
Speaker 3: want to vote for Biden. I think she'll be all right,

2468
01:58:49,600 --> 01:58:52,280
Speaker 3: you know. I think that's okay. And here's what I think,

2469
01:58:52,440 --> 01:58:53,200
Speaker 3: what have you done?

2470
01:58:53,600 --> 01:58:54,200
Speaker 2: Oh? Nothing?

2471
01:58:54,280 --> 01:58:56,760
Speaker 3: Okay, cool, We'll keep the tweets going and be a

2472
01:58:57,200 --> 01:58:58,160
Speaker 3: be an important person.

2473
01:59:00,080 --> 01:59:03,040
Speaker 6: Considering that this person has probably lived through so much

2474
01:59:03,120 --> 01:59:07,440
Speaker 6: and understood how to how to adjust to the game

2475
01:59:07,640 --> 01:59:10,520
Speaker 6: in order to make it work, as opposed to sticking

2476
01:59:10,520 --> 01:59:13,080
Speaker 6: to the exact same playbook that didn't work over and

2477
01:59:13,120 --> 01:59:16,600
Speaker 6: over again. She she I have enough respect for her

2478
01:59:16,680 --> 01:59:19,360
Speaker 6: and enough knowledge of her to know she probably thought

2479
01:59:19,360 --> 01:59:22,880
Speaker 6: about this. She probably thought about it and had to

2480
01:59:22,920 --> 01:59:26,280
Speaker 6: considered the measured decision that she made enough to not

2481
01:59:26,320 --> 01:59:28,640
Speaker 6: only make the decision for herself, but to speak it

2482
01:59:28,680 --> 01:59:30,600
Speaker 6: out loud. But all of a sudden, you don't trust

2483
01:59:30,600 --> 01:59:32,680
Speaker 6: anything she's said because she said something you don't like,

2484
01:59:32,680 --> 01:59:35,080
Speaker 6: like it doesn't She drives me nuts.

2485
01:59:35,280 --> 01:59:39,000
Speaker 2: It's the worst. It's the worst. I think.

2486
01:59:39,440 --> 01:59:44,240
Speaker 3: It's like uh yes, said Bay said on The People

2487
01:59:44,320 --> 01:59:48,920
Speaker 3: Party podcasts data Ogs, data Ogs. You may not always

2488
01:59:48,960 --> 01:59:52,240
Speaker 3: agree with them, but they mayrit respect because they survived

2489
01:59:52,560 --> 01:59:55,880
Speaker 3: and not like yeah that that ship don't know that

2490
01:59:55,960 --> 01:59:59,360
Speaker 3: don't play online, that don't play It's like nigga fuck

2491
01:59:59,440 --> 02:00:00,840
Speaker 3: John Lewis Dalis does.

2492
02:00:00,960 --> 02:00:05,160
Speaker 2: He was always fighting to his last day. You you

2493
02:00:05,200 --> 02:00:07,560
Speaker 2: don't do my eulogy. Don't come to my funeral, suck

2494
02:00:07,640 --> 02:00:08,120
Speaker 2: my dad.

2495
02:00:09,680 --> 02:00:13,080
Speaker 4: Talk about that podcast on on on this podcast, I didn't.

2496
02:00:13,160 --> 02:00:15,720
Speaker 2: I just talked about it with you in private on Twitter.

2497
02:00:19,040 --> 02:00:20,320
Speaker 2: We can talk about it. I don't.

2498
02:00:20,360 --> 02:00:23,080
Speaker 6: Everyone should listen to it, though everyone should find the

2499
02:00:23,120 --> 02:00:24,240
Speaker 6: most death. No.

2500
02:00:24,360 --> 02:00:26,560
Speaker 4: Sorry the Yasin bay Uh.

2501
02:00:27,920 --> 02:00:29,840
Speaker 2: Did the People's Party?

2502
02:00:30,120 --> 02:00:32,920
Speaker 5: You can talk people. I haven't listened.

2503
02:00:34,520 --> 02:00:35,720
Speaker 4: Listened to it three times.

2504
02:00:35,920 --> 02:00:40,000
Speaker 2: It's hosted by Tyler the afore making canceled.

2505
02:00:41,040 --> 02:00:42,480
Speaker 4: But this is this is what this is What I.

2506
02:00:44,160 --> 02:00:47,720
Speaker 6: Loved about it is that he clearly yes and clearly

2507
02:00:47,800 --> 02:00:50,640
Speaker 6: went on the show to talk to his friend and

2508
02:00:50,680 --> 02:00:53,520
Speaker 6: like pulls him up and said basically all the things

2509
02:00:53,520 --> 02:00:55,640
Speaker 6: we've been yelling at people and yelling at him about,

2510
02:00:55,840 --> 02:00:58,880
Speaker 6: but said it as your brother, as somebody who loves you,

2511
02:00:59,280 --> 02:01:01,880
Speaker 6: someone who knows who you are and not what you do.

2512
02:01:02,520 --> 02:01:04,240
Speaker 6: This is how I see you, and this is how

2513
02:01:04,240 --> 02:01:06,080
Speaker 6: I see feel like you can get better and you

2514
02:01:06,080 --> 02:01:10,280
Speaker 6: can break in the most loving, kind brotherly way that

2515
02:01:10,320 --> 02:01:12,440
Speaker 6: I've ever seen in my life. And I bet you

2516
02:01:12,480 --> 02:01:14,360
Speaker 6: it got through to him more than the millions of

2517
02:01:14,360 --> 02:01:15,560
Speaker 6: people who are cussing.

2518
02:01:15,240 --> 02:01:18,520
Speaker 4: That man out right. I thought that was a beautiful

2519
02:01:18,880 --> 02:01:20,160
Speaker 4: beautiful podcast.

2520
02:01:20,720 --> 02:01:23,680
Speaker 6: I just love hearing from from Yasin in general, but

2521
02:01:24,280 --> 02:01:25,280
Speaker 6: that that podcast.

2522
02:01:25,560 --> 02:01:27,560
Speaker 4: If you don't like Qualiti, that's that's fine.

2523
02:01:27,640 --> 02:01:31,400
Speaker 6: He barely speaks, if anything, He's just there to like

2524
02:01:31,760 --> 02:01:37,080
Speaker 6: to add buffers to or boundaries around the frames.

2525
02:01:36,640 --> 02:01:38,839
Speaker 4: That that y'allson constructed beautiful.

2526
02:01:39,000 --> 02:01:41,960
Speaker 3: Just listen to it, right, Yeah, I love just facilitates

2527
02:01:42,000 --> 02:01:44,680
Speaker 3: that interview, which is actually a really a mark of

2528
02:01:44,720 --> 02:01:47,880
Speaker 3: a good interviewer, uh because you just basically let let

2529
02:01:48,440 --> 02:01:51,680
Speaker 3: y'all say they talk. But but yeah, you can hear

2530
02:01:51,760 --> 02:01:54,440
Speaker 3: him kind of trying to be like, you know, there's

2531
02:01:54,560 --> 02:01:57,000
Speaker 3: this internet ship, this social media ship is kind of

2532
02:01:57,480 --> 02:02:00,680
Speaker 3: getting to you man, and you know, yeah, like that's

2533
02:02:00,760 --> 02:02:02,880
Speaker 3: not real. And you know, part of the reason I

2534
02:02:02,880 --> 02:02:04,840
Speaker 3: am elusive and not on that ship is because I

2535
02:02:04,880 --> 02:02:08,440
Speaker 3: think it's bad. There was one part where he was like,

2536
02:02:08,480 --> 02:02:10,080
Speaker 3: remember we was at this thing, and he was like

2537
02:02:10,520 --> 02:02:12,480
Speaker 3: you remember you was probably scrolling your phone.

2538
02:02:12,680 --> 02:02:13,160
Speaker 2: I was like, d.

2539
02:02:18,240 --> 02:02:21,320
Speaker 4: Like, no, no, we just no, no, no on Twitter.

2540
02:02:21,920 --> 02:02:25,280
Speaker 3: You know everybody know you used to be on Twitter

2541
02:02:25,320 --> 02:02:25,720
Speaker 3: all day.

2542
02:02:25,760 --> 02:02:27,760
Speaker 2: Don't lie.

2543
02:02:28,120 --> 02:02:32,120
Speaker 4: Ironically, the really good podcast.

2544
02:02:31,120 --> 02:02:33,600
Speaker 3: Ironically the Contested Paper and Question had in fact, oh yeah,

2545
02:02:33,600 --> 02:02:36,560
Speaker 3: we did that part the last paragraph. The consequence of

2546
02:02:36,600 --> 02:02:39,240
Speaker 3: our online future that David Bowie first saw in nineteen

2547
02:02:39,280 --> 02:02:42,200
Speaker 3: ninety nine are no longer unimaginable, and it's important to

2548
02:02:42,240 --> 02:02:45,160
Speaker 3: note that there has, as he predicted, been much good

2549
02:02:45,160 --> 02:02:48,120
Speaker 3: alongside the bad. As our paper on Collective Crisis noted,

2550
02:02:48,160 --> 02:02:51,080
Speaker 3: the internet has provided many positive developments, such as transnational,

2551
02:02:51,200 --> 02:02:55,680
Speaker 3: transisciplinary collaborations, the rapid spread of scientific ideas, direct citizen

2552
02:02:55,720 --> 02:02:59,640
Speaker 3: engagement in science and politics, and overcoming isolation of individuals

2553
02:02:59,640 --> 02:03:01,440
Speaker 3: who do not fit in their local communities because of

2554
02:03:01,440 --> 02:03:02,600
Speaker 3: their beliefs and preferences.

2555
02:03:02,920 --> 02:03:04,960
Speaker 2: Absolutely alien no longer.

2556
02:03:05,000 --> 02:03:06,920
Speaker 3: The question is how do we continue to increase this

2557
02:03:07,040 --> 02:03:11,280
Speaker 3: life forms exhilarating elements while reducing this more terrifying aspects.

2558
02:03:11,360 --> 02:03:13,040
Speaker 2: And that's the hard thing.

2559
02:03:13,720 --> 02:03:17,880
Speaker 3: I just got an email where I got invited to

2560
02:03:17,960 --> 02:03:22,480
Speaker 3: be part of Mark Cuban's new social media called like

2561
02:03:22,600 --> 02:03:27,760
Speaker 3: Fireside or something, and it sounds like, uh, it sounds

2562
02:03:27,800 --> 02:03:33,480
Speaker 3: like if you did Clubhouse, but everyone had to like

2563
02:03:33,480 --> 02:03:36,320
Speaker 3: like you could have a one on one conversation like

2564
02:03:36,080 --> 02:03:39,160
Speaker 3: it like it was direct to each other and video

2565
02:03:39,240 --> 02:03:39,960
Speaker 3: and all that stuff.

2566
02:03:39,960 --> 02:03:43,200
Speaker 2: And I was like, that's just like everyone's trying to solve.

2567
02:03:42,960 --> 02:03:45,720
Speaker 3: The real WIT's cube of a better way for us

2568
02:03:45,720 --> 02:03:49,440
Speaker 3: to use these tools but communicate without it being like, uh,

2569
02:03:49,480 --> 02:03:54,520
Speaker 3: I'm taking this the wrong way. And I have a question, like, like,

2570
02:03:54,640 --> 02:03:57,120
Speaker 3: everyone is trying to solve this thing because it is

2571
02:03:57,160 --> 02:03:59,880
Speaker 3: a it is a thing that is used for good.

2572
02:04:00,480 --> 02:04:03,320
Speaker 2: We have what we have because of social media, because

2573
02:04:03,360 --> 02:04:03,880
Speaker 2: of the Internet.

2574
02:04:04,640 --> 02:04:08,320
Speaker 6: It's not all bad, I promise, so the early days,

2575
02:04:08,480 --> 02:04:12,080
Speaker 6: I mean not just I'm old, but like, I remember

2576
02:04:12,520 --> 02:04:20,240
Speaker 6: how how much I needed Twitter when I first got

2577
02:04:20,280 --> 02:04:23,720
Speaker 6: on it, but then I stopped needing it, right, and

2578
02:04:23,760 --> 02:04:26,160
Speaker 6: then I stopped making it the most important thing in

2579
02:04:26,200 --> 02:04:26,920
Speaker 6: the world to me.

2580
02:04:27,160 --> 02:04:29,520
Speaker 4: And I think people have stopped needing.

2581
02:04:29,280 --> 02:04:32,920
Speaker 6: It and then found ways to make it need them,

2582
02:04:33,200 --> 02:04:37,440
Speaker 6: which is where they dig their heels even deeper into everything.

2583
02:04:37,560 --> 02:04:39,320
Speaker 4: I just my sister and I talked about all the time.

2584
02:04:39,320 --> 02:04:41,200
Speaker 6: She's like, I want Jack to just shut it down

2585
02:04:41,200 --> 02:04:43,960
Speaker 6: for a day, twenty four hours, just shut it down

2586
02:04:45,240 --> 02:04:48,960
Speaker 6: and just let people's brains reset and see what happens.

2587
02:04:49,600 --> 02:04:52,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you can tell when they take away somebody's Twitter,

2588
02:04:52,560 --> 02:04:55,440
Speaker 3: Like a big thing for me is and listen, if

2589
02:04:55,440 --> 02:04:57,520
Speaker 3: you're one of these people, you're on my friend's list,

2590
02:04:57,920 --> 02:05:01,120
Speaker 3: don't take it personal, but a big thing for me

2591
02:05:01,280 --> 02:05:03,960
Speaker 3: is when someone said some shit and they get banned

2592
02:05:03,960 --> 02:05:06,640
Speaker 3: from their Facebook and then they're like other account pops up.

2593
02:05:08,040 --> 02:05:09,880
Speaker 2: That's not that's not beating Zuckerberg.

2594
02:05:10,160 --> 02:05:13,760
Speaker 3: Like that's definitely not like like that's basically saying I

2595
02:05:13,800 --> 02:05:14,760
Speaker 3: need that crack.

2596
02:05:14,560 --> 02:05:17,400
Speaker 2: You know, like I'm on this shit and this is

2597
02:05:17,440 --> 02:05:20,960
Speaker 2: what it is. Yeah, so you know, I think about it.

2598
02:05:21,320 --> 02:05:25,280
Speaker 4: I got banned from anything. Thank you. I'm thank you

2599
02:05:27,760 --> 02:05:30,280
Speaker 4: shout out to everybody, like I'm like, why am I

2600
02:05:30,360 --> 02:05:31,520
Speaker 4: building another account?

2601
02:05:32,000 --> 02:05:32,640
Speaker 2: I'm so like.

2602
02:05:33,200 --> 02:05:35,960
Speaker 3: A thing I noticed too, is like once people started

2603
02:05:36,000 --> 02:05:38,240
Speaker 3: getting banned for saying shit, it became like a club

2604
02:05:38,280 --> 02:05:38,640
Speaker 3: to join.

2605
02:05:38,880 --> 02:05:41,839
Speaker 2: Like, look, I got banned for saying it too, y'all.

2606
02:05:42,040 --> 02:05:43,880
Speaker 3: Anyway, follow me on my new account, and I'm gonna

2607
02:05:43,880 --> 02:05:45,000
Speaker 3: have to set everything back up.

2608
02:05:45,000 --> 02:05:46,680
Speaker 4: I'm like, what the fuck? Man?

2609
02:05:47,080 --> 02:05:49,160
Speaker 2: I remember I got kicked off. I don't remember what

2610
02:05:49,200 --> 02:05:49,600
Speaker 2: I said.

2611
02:05:49,680 --> 02:05:51,720
Speaker 3: It was probably some stupid shit that I just was

2612
02:05:51,800 --> 02:05:54,000
Speaker 3: like trying to figure out a way to say the

2613
02:05:54,040 --> 02:05:57,040
Speaker 3: same things they banned other people for, but clever and

2614
02:05:57,120 --> 02:05:59,400
Speaker 3: I got banned and then I had, like I don't know,

2615
02:05:59,440 --> 02:06:00,960
Speaker 3: three or four day is off and I was like.

2616
02:06:01,840 --> 02:06:03,520
Speaker 2: This is this is nice?

2617
02:06:04,240 --> 02:06:09,600
Speaker 3: Like you start looking around that ship now, like like

2618
02:06:09,640 --> 02:06:11,920
Speaker 3: the first the first the first day, I was like

2619
02:06:12,800 --> 02:06:15,520
Speaker 3: tapping the Facebook icond of like, let me look in

2620
02:06:15,520 --> 02:06:16,920
Speaker 3: at Jess right, I'm banned.

2621
02:06:16,920 --> 02:06:20,120
Speaker 2: There's nothing I can say. And then like I deleted.

2622
02:06:19,680 --> 02:06:21,520
Speaker 3: It off my phone because I was like I don't

2623
02:06:21,520 --> 02:06:23,880
Speaker 3: even want to have the temptation to click in the

2624
02:06:24,000 --> 02:06:27,480
Speaker 3: check it. And then when it was over, I think

2625
02:06:27,480 --> 02:06:29,640
Speaker 3: I got an email from Facebook that was like, hey,

2626
02:06:29,680 --> 02:06:30,800
Speaker 3: you're back, and I was like.

2627
02:06:31,320 --> 02:06:34,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, what am I really bad?

2628
02:06:34,720 --> 02:06:38,040
Speaker 3: We could probably use a few more days, But like

2629
02:06:38,080 --> 02:06:38,839
Speaker 3: I said, it's.

2630
02:06:38,680 --> 02:06:41,280
Speaker 2: Just how us these things Now.

2631
02:06:41,280 --> 02:06:43,920
Speaker 3: I know this discussion turned into a lot about mental

2632
02:06:44,120 --> 02:06:48,880
Speaker 3: about social media mental health. But where are you finding

2633
02:06:48,920 --> 02:06:52,680
Speaker 3: like the positive things going on within the uh, you know,

2634
02:06:53,000 --> 02:06:56,360
Speaker 3: the either it's weird to say the mental health community.

2635
02:06:56,720 --> 02:06:59,240
Speaker 3: I think you know what I mean, like the like,

2636
02:06:59,280 --> 02:07:01,480
Speaker 3: where do you where you finding like some positive things,

2637
02:07:01,520 --> 02:07:02,920
Speaker 3: some resources to point people too.

2638
02:07:05,400 --> 02:07:08,839
Speaker 4: I want to say TikTok, but I think that TikTok

2639
02:07:08,960 --> 02:07:11,160
Speaker 4: is starting to get to the.

2640
02:07:10,560 --> 02:07:13,040
Speaker 6: To the place where the people who are on Twitter

2641
02:07:13,080 --> 02:07:15,720
Speaker 6: and you know, are are showing up on TikTok.

2642
02:07:16,600 --> 02:07:18,560
Speaker 4: But I do believe that there's.

2643
02:07:18,400 --> 02:07:21,720
Speaker 6: A you know, I'm gonna be honest with you, I

2644
02:07:21,720 --> 02:07:25,080
Speaker 6: don't think there's any place online or on social media.

2645
02:07:26,040 --> 02:07:28,000
Speaker 4: I don't think that there's any I think there are

2646
02:07:28,080 --> 02:07:32,040
Speaker 4: places where you can begin and then continue offline right

2647
02:07:32,440 --> 02:07:34,960
Speaker 4: in order to do like the actual work. There's no

2648
02:07:35,080 --> 02:07:36,320
Speaker 4: place that you say there there.

2649
02:07:36,240 --> 02:07:40,560
Speaker 6: There's a there's a There was a a psychologist on Twitter,

2650
02:07:40,720 --> 02:07:43,080
Speaker 6: no sorry, on Instagram, but I used to follow, and

2651
02:07:43,120 --> 02:07:45,120
Speaker 6: I loved what she was doing. She had like these

2652
02:07:45,200 --> 02:07:50,120
Speaker 6: really cool iconographs iconographs or I don't know what they're called, but.

2653
02:07:50,080 --> 02:07:54,000
Speaker 4: The like really cool like like little pictures and stuff

2654
02:07:54,000 --> 02:07:56,480
Speaker 4: with like mental health suggestions, da da da. And then

2655
02:07:56,560 --> 02:07:59,560
Speaker 4: I realized that in order for you to keep coming

2656
02:07:59,640 --> 02:08:02,400
Speaker 4: up daily with like content.

2657
02:08:02,200 --> 02:08:02,720
Speaker 5: It's hard.

2658
02:08:03,440 --> 02:08:05,920
Speaker 6: It's hard, and then it gets to a point where

2659
02:08:05,920 --> 02:08:09,800
Speaker 6: you're just like doing too much where it's like okay,

2660
02:08:09,920 --> 02:08:12,400
Speaker 6: why okay if you need to post every single day

2661
02:08:12,560 --> 02:08:15,720
Speaker 6: about this or have a series on like, who are

2662
02:08:15,760 --> 02:08:17,680
Speaker 6: you doing it for? Because now you've made it so

2663
02:08:17,880 --> 02:08:21,480
Speaker 6: compact that people are again taking that and using it

2664
02:08:21,480 --> 02:08:24,200
Speaker 6: to apply it to other people and use it to

2665
02:08:24,400 --> 02:08:26,920
Speaker 6: like I just feel like, go for the information when

2666
02:08:26,960 --> 02:08:29,120
Speaker 6: you're looking for and then find a way offline to

2667
02:08:29,200 --> 02:08:29,680
Speaker 6: deal with it.

2668
02:08:30,000 --> 02:08:33,520
Speaker 4: Sure betterhelp is great, you know all.

2669
02:08:33,400 --> 02:08:36,560
Speaker 6: That stuff, but it's all based on actual treatment and

2670
02:08:36,800 --> 02:08:42,800
Speaker 6: actual work and resources, not just not just verifying what

2671
02:08:42,880 --> 02:08:45,840
Speaker 6: you think already exists in your life or in your world.

2672
02:08:46,200 --> 02:08:50,320
Speaker 6: Like anybody who challenges you to or anything that challenges

2673
02:08:50,360 --> 02:08:53,800
Speaker 6: you to do the work outside of social media is

2674
02:08:53,880 --> 02:08:54,920
Speaker 6: probably your best golf.

2675
02:08:56,080 --> 02:08:57,400
Speaker 4: And any therapist who.

2676
02:08:57,440 --> 02:09:01,560
Speaker 6: Who drags you or or tells you to get rid

2677
02:09:01,640 --> 02:09:04,680
Speaker 6: of people is not is not doing I.

2678
02:09:04,720 --> 02:09:09,000
Speaker 3: Always wonder how much TV has hurt the therapy and

2679
02:09:09,080 --> 02:09:13,280
Speaker 3: mental health aspect of things, because TV therapy is very

2680
02:09:13,440 --> 02:09:16,200
Speaker 3: like light bulb moment because I yelled at you and

2681
02:09:16,200 --> 02:09:17,720
Speaker 3: it was very mean to you type of thing.

2682
02:09:17,720 --> 02:09:20,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I do a service.

2683
02:09:20,600 --> 02:09:22,080
Speaker 3: I hope you're not going in a place where you're

2684
02:09:22,080 --> 02:09:25,840
Speaker 3: supposed to feel vulnerable or open and having motherfuckers just

2685
02:09:25,840 --> 02:09:28,720
Speaker 3: cuts you out every week because you know one, I

2686
02:09:28,720 --> 02:09:30,960
Speaker 3: think it's a horrible advertisement for this. I don't think

2687
02:09:30,960 --> 02:09:32,680
Speaker 3: that's what's happening. So you're gonna go in there and

2688
02:09:32,720 --> 02:09:35,280
Speaker 3: not get that, But then too, if you do get that,

2689
02:09:35,520 --> 02:09:41,440
Speaker 3: probably leave, go ahead.

2690
02:09:41,680 --> 02:09:45,800
Speaker 6: Go ahead, BUSSI No, But just like like people, if

2691
02:09:45,800 --> 02:09:48,800
Speaker 6: you walk into uh, even if it's your first year

2692
02:09:48,960 --> 02:09:51,040
Speaker 6: of therapy with the same therapist, and they start yelling

2693
02:09:51,080 --> 02:09:51,400
Speaker 6: at you.

2694
02:09:52,200 --> 02:09:52,880
Speaker 4: Who was that for?

2695
02:09:53,360 --> 02:09:56,400
Speaker 6: That's not that's not but not even yelling at you,

2696
02:09:56,440 --> 02:09:58,400
Speaker 6: but maybe even feel bad, like why do what? I

2697
02:09:58,440 --> 02:10:01,000
Speaker 6: don't have to come here so you can make me

2698
02:10:01,000 --> 02:10:04,360
Speaker 6: feel bad every week. No, So when people come online

2699
02:10:04,400 --> 02:10:07,920
Speaker 6: they're talking about my therapist drag me today?

2700
02:10:07,720 --> 02:10:09,080
Speaker 4: Why are you happy?

2701
02:10:09,360 --> 02:10:09,680
Speaker 5: You know what?

2702
02:10:09,720 --> 02:10:12,600
Speaker 3: They're probably ambellished. They're probably embellishing too. It's probably not

2703
02:10:12,640 --> 02:10:15,080
Speaker 3: even like they dragged them the therapist. I just said

2704
02:10:15,120 --> 02:10:17,040
Speaker 3: something like, so, why do you think you do that?

2705
02:10:17,240 --> 02:10:19,560
Speaker 2: And they're like, oh shit, drag people.

2706
02:10:20,160 --> 02:10:24,680
Speaker 5: Goddam. I had to think, oh lord, I have to wait.

2707
02:10:24,520 --> 02:10:26,400
Speaker 2: To tell the timeline about this.

2708
02:10:26,520 --> 02:10:27,320
Speaker 5: I don't blame them.

2709
02:10:27,320 --> 02:10:29,280
Speaker 7: I had to get to know me. Let me go

2710
02:10:29,360 --> 02:10:30,960
Speaker 7: to therapy. I'm gonna be one of those people. And

2711
02:10:31,000 --> 02:10:32,920
Speaker 7: I've been like, oh, she made me feel a certain

2712
02:10:32,960 --> 02:10:33,920
Speaker 7: type of way.

2713
02:10:34,600 --> 02:10:36,880
Speaker 6: But honestly, I think, Karen, you would really, you would

2714
02:10:36,920 --> 02:10:39,040
Speaker 6: really benefit from it because of a couple of reasons.

2715
02:10:39,080 --> 02:10:42,080
Speaker 4: Number one, you're a very open hearted person. I think

2716
02:10:42,080 --> 02:10:46,080
Speaker 4: that at your not at your core, just your entire being.

2717
02:10:46,280 --> 02:10:50,720
Speaker 6: Is someone who is just a good person, and good

2718
02:10:50,800 --> 02:10:54,080
Speaker 6: people want to be better people as far as like

2719
02:10:54,200 --> 02:10:56,800
Speaker 6: finding ways like I want to becuse to be a

2720
02:10:56,800 --> 02:10:57,280
Speaker 6: better person.

2721
02:10:57,400 --> 02:10:59,520
Speaker 4: And I think that you are someone.

2722
02:10:59,240 --> 02:11:03,560
Speaker 6: Who already has a lot of the tools to give

2723
02:11:03,640 --> 02:11:07,240
Speaker 6: other people, and a therapist would help you you and

2724
02:11:07,320 --> 02:11:09,120
Speaker 6: your fucking tools. Now I came and stay tools and

2725
02:11:09,200 --> 02:11:10,120
Speaker 6: I'll think about rod.

2726
02:11:10,120 --> 02:11:15,800
Speaker 4: You too, not like but if you're a therapist will

2727
02:11:15,840 --> 02:11:19,280
Speaker 4: give you the skills to give that stuff to yourself,

2728
02:11:20,600 --> 02:11:22,600
Speaker 4: because it's really easy.

2729
02:11:23,400 --> 02:11:25,800
Speaker 6: I saw, I saw actually a TikTok that was really helpful.

2730
02:11:25,960 --> 02:11:29,839
Speaker 6: A guy somebody said that he went to to therapist

2731
02:11:29,880 --> 02:11:31,720
Speaker 6: to therapy, and a therapist was like, you seem really

2732
02:11:31,720 --> 02:11:32,320
Speaker 6: well adjusted.

2733
02:11:32,360 --> 02:11:33,040
Speaker 4: Why are you here?

2734
02:11:33,440 --> 02:11:35,640
Speaker 6: And he said, well, I want to be You know,

2735
02:11:35,680 --> 02:11:39,320
Speaker 6: I'm a good husband, I'm a good employee, I'm a

2736
02:11:39,360 --> 02:11:42,640
Speaker 6: good father, I'm a good friend. But I want to

2737
02:11:42,680 --> 02:11:44,560
Speaker 6: be a great father and a great husband and a

2738
02:11:44,600 --> 02:11:48,240
Speaker 6: great blah blah blah. And the therapist said, you're you're

2739
02:11:48,440 --> 02:11:51,880
Speaker 6: you're all that stuff. You're a great employee for your job, father,

2740
02:11:51,960 --> 02:11:54,440
Speaker 6: for your son, husband, for your wife, But who are

2741
02:11:54,440 --> 02:11:56,960
Speaker 6: you to you? And that's what therapy is for. Who

2742
02:11:56,960 --> 02:11:59,320
Speaker 6: are you to you? Like? How good are you to yourself?

2743
02:12:00,280 --> 02:12:02,720
Speaker 6: And that is like, I think that it encapsulates exactly

2744
02:12:02,720 --> 02:12:05,040
Speaker 6: what therapy is for. How do you become a better

2745
02:12:05,080 --> 02:12:07,760
Speaker 6: person for yourself and not for other people? How do

2746
02:12:07,800 --> 02:12:10,640
Speaker 6: you learn when because I have to learn that a

2747
02:12:10,640 --> 02:12:13,040
Speaker 6: lot of the stuff that I thought was like altruistic

2748
02:12:13,160 --> 02:12:17,720
Speaker 6: and you know, empathetic and kindness was me fighting for

2749
02:12:17,880 --> 02:12:20,440
Speaker 6: people to love me right. And that's not something I

2750
02:12:20,440 --> 02:12:23,680
Speaker 6: thought I had a problem with until I discovered that

2751
02:12:23,720 --> 02:12:25,720
Speaker 6: I was always either trying to get people to love

2752
02:12:25,760 --> 02:12:27,680
Speaker 6: me or try to keep the people who love me

2753
02:12:27,720 --> 02:12:31,040
Speaker 6: from stopping loving me, and both of those things have

2754
02:12:31,200 --> 02:12:32,080
Speaker 6: nothing to do with me.

2755
02:12:32,120 --> 02:12:33,600
Speaker 4: They're all about other people.

2756
02:12:33,880 --> 02:12:36,120
Speaker 6: And so I had to learn what I needed to

2757
02:12:36,120 --> 02:12:37,960
Speaker 6: be for me, how much love I need to get

2758
02:12:37,960 --> 02:12:40,240
Speaker 6: for myself, what it looked like for myself, so that

2759
02:12:40,360 --> 02:12:42,280
Speaker 6: I know not to tolerate from other people.

2760
02:12:43,600 --> 02:12:45,640
Speaker 4: So I'm not trying to prove myself to.

2761
02:12:45,560 --> 02:12:47,840
Speaker 6: Anybody, because I figured out who I am for me,

2762
02:12:48,000 --> 02:12:50,240
Speaker 6: and that's the work that I do for myself. So

2763
02:12:50,320 --> 02:12:53,840
Speaker 6: therapy is for you, it's not for anybody else. It's

2764
02:12:54,160 --> 02:12:58,000
Speaker 6: at its best, it makes you feel much better about

2765
02:12:58,040 --> 02:13:01,040
Speaker 6: the person that you are, or gives you what you

2766
02:13:01,160 --> 02:13:03,560
Speaker 6: need to become a better person.

2767
02:13:03,600 --> 02:13:05,600
Speaker 4: For yourself. I don't know if that's clear. I feel

2768
02:13:05,600 --> 02:13:06,600
Speaker 4: like I'm studying a little bit.

2769
02:13:07,040 --> 02:13:11,320
Speaker 7: Yeah, and I understand that I'm always thought that, even

2770
02:13:11,400 --> 02:13:14,160
Speaker 7: before Roger started going in things like that, was like, oh,

2771
02:13:14,520 --> 02:13:18,840
Speaker 7: it would help me become a better version of myself,

2772
02:13:19,680 --> 02:13:23,680
Speaker 7: you know, like because my thing is I'm not perfect.

2773
02:13:23,760 --> 02:13:26,240
Speaker 7: I am flawed, and I make mistakes and things like that.

2774
02:13:26,320 --> 02:13:31,040
Speaker 7: But I also want to challenge myself to be the

2775
02:13:31,080 --> 02:13:35,480
Speaker 7: best person that I could be, because the better I

2776
02:13:35,560 --> 02:13:39,040
Speaker 7: am for me is the better wife I can be

2777
02:13:39,120 --> 02:13:42,320
Speaker 7: to Roger, the better you know I can be for Layla,

2778
02:13:42,520 --> 02:13:45,280
Speaker 7: you know, the better you know sister in law I

2779
02:13:45,320 --> 02:13:47,400
Speaker 7: can be, you know, those those types of things.

2780
02:13:47,440 --> 02:13:51,680
Speaker 5: And also I think that for me, I think that.

2781
02:13:52,320 --> 02:13:55,200
Speaker 7: I have confidence and it's a lot better than it

2782
02:13:55,280 --> 02:13:57,280
Speaker 7: used to be, but that I know that there are

2783
02:13:57,320 --> 02:14:00,400
Speaker 7: areas that I know I need to strengthen that I

2784
02:14:00,440 --> 02:14:01,320
Speaker 7: think would make.

2785
02:14:01,240 --> 02:14:04,080
Speaker 5: Me a more of a whole person. I mean, because

2786
02:14:04,080 --> 02:14:04,959
Speaker 5: I know I'm whole.

2787
02:14:04,760 --> 02:14:07,120
Speaker 7: But you know, just make make it where I can

2788
02:14:07,280 --> 02:14:09,280
Speaker 7: walk more into my life, if that makes sense.

2789
02:14:09,320 --> 02:14:09,640
Speaker 2: I think.

2790
02:14:10,080 --> 02:14:13,400
Speaker 3: I think also the reason you walk in there might

2791
02:14:13,440 --> 02:14:15,120
Speaker 3: not be the reason that you're in there, you know

2792
02:14:15,160 --> 02:14:16,920
Speaker 3: what I mean, so I think you have to leave

2793
02:14:16,920 --> 02:14:19,280
Speaker 3: yourself open to that because I know the stuff. I

2794
02:14:19,280 --> 02:14:21,120
Speaker 3: walked in there thinking I was like, yeah, so just

2795
02:14:21,200 --> 02:14:24,600
Speaker 3: the problem there was like okay, all right, do you

2796
02:14:24,600 --> 02:14:26,960
Speaker 3: think that's the problem. And then you know a month

2797
02:14:27,040 --> 02:14:28,080
Speaker 3: or two later, it's like.

2798
02:14:28,160 --> 02:14:31,680
Speaker 2: Oh, I have self esteem issues. You know what I

2799
02:14:31,760 --> 02:14:35,040
Speaker 2: mean I have. It is about external disappointment.

2800
02:14:35,080 --> 02:14:38,320
Speaker 3: I have issues with insecurities where I feel in negativity

2801
02:14:38,360 --> 02:14:40,120
Speaker 3: in places that has no energy.

2802
02:14:40,600 --> 02:14:42,320
Speaker 2: So I'm making.

2803
02:14:42,040 --> 02:14:47,040
Speaker 3: Something negative that's not like uh. I always use an

2804
02:14:47,040 --> 02:14:49,800
Speaker 3: example Mike Kaplan, friend of the show and friend of

2805
02:14:49,840 --> 02:14:50,320
Speaker 3: her life.

2806
02:14:52,080 --> 02:14:54,600
Speaker 2: I forgot to send him an email. He sent me

2807
02:14:54,640 --> 02:14:57,000
Speaker 2: an email. I forgot to respond to it. It was to.

2808
02:14:56,880 --> 02:15:00,560
Speaker 3: Promote his comedy special two years ago to come on

2809
02:15:00,600 --> 02:15:01,280
Speaker 3: our podcast.

2810
02:15:01,800 --> 02:15:03,440
Speaker 2: I forgot to reply to it.

2811
02:15:03,720 --> 02:15:08,000
Speaker 3: And then it went so long as it piled up

2812
02:15:08,000 --> 02:15:10,360
Speaker 3: in my head, it was like, well, I can't reply

2813
02:15:10,520 --> 02:15:11,560
Speaker 3: now I fucked up.

2814
02:15:11,600 --> 02:15:13,200
Speaker 2: It's been two weeks or whatever.

2815
02:15:13,600 --> 02:15:16,040
Speaker 3: And then it was like, yeah, Mike hates me and

2816
02:15:16,080 --> 02:15:18,760
Speaker 3: he probably never wants to talk to me again, so

2817
02:15:18,800 --> 02:15:21,280
Speaker 3: why would I ever talk to him?

2818
02:15:21,480 --> 02:15:22,720
Speaker 2: And blah blah blah.

2819
02:15:22,720 --> 02:15:25,160
Speaker 3: And then just one day he direct mess with me

2820
02:15:25,160 --> 02:15:27,320
Speaker 3: about something completely different and.

2821
02:15:27,640 --> 02:15:30,960
Speaker 2: Was like, oh, man, can I you might come back

2822
02:15:30,960 --> 02:15:32,920
Speaker 2: on the Shawn. I was like, actually, I don't, man,

2823
02:15:33,000 --> 02:15:34,160
Speaker 2: tell you. I'm so sorry.

2824
02:15:34,360 --> 02:15:35,120
Speaker 4: I was.

2825
02:15:35,360 --> 02:15:37,200
Speaker 3: That was horrible. I can't believe that. I know you

2826
02:15:37,280 --> 02:15:42,680
Speaker 3: probably very disappointed me. I forgot I sent you that email.

2827
02:15:42,760 --> 02:15:45,600
Speaker 2: I really He's like, He's like, you've been holding this

2828
02:15:45,680 --> 02:15:46,360
Speaker 2: in all this time.

2829
02:15:46,400 --> 02:15:49,480
Speaker 3: But the point being, like learning that kind of stuff

2830
02:15:49,520 --> 02:15:53,040
Speaker 3: and some of the exercises, uh, and some of the

2831
02:15:53,080 --> 02:15:56,240
Speaker 3: tools and stuff that I got in there was really important.

2832
02:15:56,240 --> 02:15:58,960
Speaker 3: And I wasn't even a person that like I gotta

2833
02:15:59,000 --> 02:16:01,640
Speaker 3: be in here every day type thing. Like if you're

2834
02:16:01,640 --> 02:16:04,440
Speaker 3: werdering about therapy, it can be on the schedule that's

2835
02:16:04,480 --> 02:16:09,320
Speaker 3: convenient to you, depending on like you know, your therapy.

2836
02:16:09,400 --> 02:16:11,960
Speaker 3: And then someone brought up like, well, what if it

2837
02:16:12,040 --> 02:16:14,040
Speaker 3: might be hard to find a therapist. It might be

2838
02:16:14,280 --> 02:16:17,120
Speaker 3: one A lot of people are doing therapy now, especially

2839
02:16:17,160 --> 02:16:23,320
Speaker 3: with teletherapy. Two depending on your health insurance or your

2840
02:16:23,360 --> 02:16:26,320
Speaker 3: personal like your city and stuff and your preferences. I

2841
02:16:26,360 --> 02:16:28,680
Speaker 3: know there's a big thing on like I want a

2842
02:16:28,680 --> 02:16:31,200
Speaker 3: black woman therapist. I want to this type of therapist

2843
02:16:31,760 --> 02:16:34,480
Speaker 3: that may or may not be the availability in your local.

2844
02:16:34,240 --> 02:16:37,920
Speaker 2: Area and then the other thing is it's.

2845
02:16:37,760 --> 02:16:42,039
Speaker 3: A relationship essentially. Yeah, every relationship don't work out, you know.

2846
02:16:42,160 --> 02:16:44,120
Speaker 3: I just say, if you if you felt enough for

2847
02:16:44,160 --> 02:16:45,880
Speaker 3: a reason to go in there in the first place,

2848
02:16:45,959 --> 02:16:48,960
Speaker 3: I would not give up on myself. If I've found

2849
02:16:49,200 --> 02:16:52,520
Speaker 3: like I don't like this person, shouldn't be enough to

2850
02:16:52,560 --> 02:16:55,400
Speaker 3: be like that means I don't got no nothing to

2851
02:16:55,440 --> 02:16:57,000
Speaker 3: work on, then fuck it, Like.

2852
02:16:57,160 --> 02:17:02,879
Speaker 4: Come on, But here's here's the thing. It's also ooh,

2853
02:17:02,920 --> 02:17:03,760
Speaker 4: I'm hearing an echo.

2854
02:17:04,080 --> 02:17:06,480
Speaker 2: It's gonna go away about five seconds.

2855
02:17:07,200 --> 02:17:10,960
Speaker 4: Okay, Oh, it's gone. Okay. So it's like you move

2856
02:17:11,040 --> 02:17:11,400
Speaker 4: to a.

2857
02:17:11,320 --> 02:17:13,920
Speaker 6: New town and you need to find a new hairdresser

2858
02:17:14,040 --> 02:17:17,640
Speaker 6: or barber. You have an event or you have to

2859
02:17:17,680 --> 02:17:20,360
Speaker 6: start your new job, so you need a haircut. You

2860
02:17:20,360 --> 02:17:25,320
Speaker 6: don't have time to shop around for the perfect barber

2861
02:17:25,360 --> 02:17:27,880
Speaker 6: for you, but you need a haircut, so you go

2862
02:17:28,080 --> 02:17:30,960
Speaker 6: to the one that's available until you find the one

2863
02:17:31,480 --> 02:17:33,320
Speaker 6: that works for you. Might have to go to another

2864
02:17:33,320 --> 02:17:35,760
Speaker 6: one the next week or the week after that because

2865
02:17:35,760 --> 02:17:38,000
Speaker 6: you haven't found the one that really like cuts your

2866
02:17:38,040 --> 02:17:39,520
Speaker 6: hair or makes your hair.

2867
02:17:39,360 --> 02:17:41,000
Speaker 4: The way that you really like it.

2868
02:17:41,400 --> 02:17:44,680
Speaker 6: But through the process of elimination, you're like, Okay, well,

2869
02:17:45,200 --> 02:17:46,360
Speaker 6: I like the way this guy.

2870
02:17:46,400 --> 02:17:48,040
Speaker 4: I don't know what happens to a barber shap. I'm sorry.

2871
02:17:48,160 --> 02:17:50,160
Speaker 6: I like the guy way this guy washed my hair,

2872
02:17:50,240 --> 02:17:52,959
Speaker 6: but I don't like the way he cuts it. But

2873
02:17:53,000 --> 02:17:55,119
Speaker 6: what I don't like about the way he cuts it

2874
02:17:55,200 --> 02:17:57,040
Speaker 6: is this other thing. So now I need to ask

2875
02:17:57,080 --> 02:18:00,680
Speaker 6: a question. Do you cut hair like this? And watch

2876
02:18:00,760 --> 02:18:03,520
Speaker 6: it like that? And then you get closer and closer.

2877
02:18:03,600 --> 02:18:06,200
Speaker 6: There are people I've had that experiences with therapists as well.

2878
02:18:06,520 --> 02:18:09,520
Speaker 6: I learned that I don't like it when they just

2879
02:18:09,600 --> 02:18:12,080
Speaker 6: sit there and write and just have me talk.

2880
02:18:12,200 --> 02:18:13,640
Speaker 4: I need to be a conversation.

2881
02:18:14,000 --> 02:18:15,840
Speaker 6: I need to say hey, dead and then they come

2882
02:18:15,879 --> 02:18:18,240
Speaker 6: back at me and we're having a conversation back and forth.

2883
02:18:18,520 --> 02:18:19,480
Speaker 4: That's what I need.

2884
02:18:21,360 --> 02:18:24,720
Speaker 6: So when I walk into a therapist session or whatever

2885
02:18:25,120 --> 02:18:28,920
Speaker 6: and the person just barely acknowledges me and he's just

2886
02:18:29,000 --> 02:18:32,360
Speaker 6: writing things down, that doesn't make me feel comfortable. So

2887
02:18:32,760 --> 02:18:35,160
Speaker 6: a question I asked when I'm looking for any therapist

2888
02:18:35,040 --> 02:18:36,360
Speaker 6: is this cognitive?

2889
02:18:36,520 --> 02:18:38,640
Speaker 4: Do we do you talk? Do you know? How do

2890
02:18:38,680 --> 02:18:39,080
Speaker 4: you do this?

2891
02:18:39,440 --> 02:18:42,320
Speaker 6: And many therapists will be like, I'll adjust to what

2892
02:18:42,360 --> 02:18:45,200
Speaker 6: it is that you need to be done. But a

2893
02:18:45,240 --> 02:18:47,520
Speaker 6: lot of times people go they don't like it, then

2894
02:18:47,520 --> 02:18:49,800
Speaker 6: they never talk to that therapist again, as opposed to

2895
02:18:50,200 --> 02:18:52,880
Speaker 6: I liked our session, but I feel like I would

2896
02:18:52,920 --> 02:18:56,120
Speaker 6: respond better to this, or I liked our session and

2897
02:18:56,200 --> 02:18:59,080
Speaker 6: I didn't respond to that, and have the therapists either

2898
02:18:59,120 --> 02:19:03,000
Speaker 6: adjust or recommend somebody else who does it a different way.

2899
02:19:04,520 --> 02:19:10,240
Speaker 6: My therapist never really worked with an artist before, so

2900
02:19:09,320 --> 02:19:13,080
Speaker 6: she so her method of just set a time and

2901
02:19:13,240 --> 02:19:15,440
Speaker 6: go and get your work done didn't work.

2902
02:19:15,480 --> 02:19:17,920
Speaker 4: And once I explained that to her, she went back

2903
02:19:18,800 --> 02:19:20,400
Speaker 4: did some reason. I don't know what she did, actually,

2904
02:19:20,440 --> 02:19:21,320
Speaker 4: but she came back.

2905
02:19:21,120 --> 02:19:23,120
Speaker 6: And she had things that made more sense to me

2906
02:19:23,160 --> 02:19:25,440
Speaker 6: as an artist or as a writer, as opposed to

2907
02:19:25,480 --> 02:19:27,400
Speaker 6: what she would give somebody who had.

2908
02:19:27,320 --> 02:19:29,080
Speaker 4: A nine to five or what have you.

2909
02:19:29,400 --> 02:19:32,279
Speaker 6: So it took a minute for us to like figure

2910
02:19:32,320 --> 02:19:34,920
Speaker 6: it out. I've been with her for five years. When

2911
02:19:34,920 --> 02:19:37,600
Speaker 6: I started going to see her, I was in crisis.

2912
02:19:37,680 --> 02:19:38,440
Speaker 4: I was in crisis.

2913
02:19:38,480 --> 02:19:41,040
Speaker 6: I was again not going to make it, and I

2914
02:19:41,200 --> 02:19:45,840
Speaker 6: just needed somewhere to go and be. Half the time

2915
02:19:45,840 --> 02:19:47,640
Speaker 6: I would just sit there and cry. For the first year,

2916
02:19:47,680 --> 02:19:49,040
Speaker 6: I think I would just sit there and cry for

2917
02:19:49,040 --> 02:19:55,040
Speaker 6: forty five minutes. But I needed that and then we

2918
02:19:55,120 --> 02:19:58,840
Speaker 6: started to build a relationship. It took a minute, but

2919
02:19:58,920 --> 02:20:00,720
Speaker 6: I also knew that I was in crisis. If you

2920
02:20:00,879 --> 02:20:03,920
Speaker 6: have like the wherewithal to shop around and to you know,

2921
02:20:04,160 --> 02:20:07,720
Speaker 6: visiting Dayton, you know whatever, absolutely do that. But if

2922
02:20:07,760 --> 02:20:11,119
Speaker 6: you don't, then don't let that not be the reason

2923
02:20:11,200 --> 02:20:11,720
Speaker 6: you go.

2924
02:20:12,000 --> 02:20:13,959
Speaker 2: Right, And I'll tell you. I'll tell you all this.

2925
02:20:14,240 --> 02:20:17,120
Speaker 3: If if you've been listening to us and you've been like,

2926
02:20:17,879 --> 02:20:19,880
Speaker 3: maybe I should get therapy and I don't know, it

2927
02:20:19,959 --> 02:20:23,440
Speaker 3: might cost too much or inconvenient, I can't find somebody,

2928
02:20:23,720 --> 02:20:27,199
Speaker 3: or uh, you know, I didn't like my first therapist.

2929
02:20:27,600 --> 02:20:31,680
Speaker 3: You can always just log into Twitter tell them I'm right,

2930
02:20:32,160 --> 02:20:35,160
Speaker 3: the therapist is wrong. They will co sign it. One

2931
02:20:35,200 --> 02:20:38,800
Speaker 3: hundred percent of time, you'll feel better, nothing will improve,

2932
02:20:39,480 --> 02:20:41,200
Speaker 3: And you can just do that ad nauseam.

2933
02:20:41,360 --> 02:20:42,879
Speaker 2: You know that's another alternative.

2934
02:20:43,160 --> 02:20:44,760
Speaker 5: I don't think that's healthy.

2935
02:20:44,959 --> 02:20:46,879
Speaker 2: Okay, ok disagrees.

2936
02:20:48,240 --> 02:20:52,200
Speaker 7: BI see out of your ten years of doing uh

2937
02:20:52,920 --> 02:20:56,000
Speaker 7: this on line. As far as govern mental health, what

2938
02:20:56,320 --> 02:21:00,160
Speaker 7: is one of the best stories you've ever heard or

2939
02:21:00,160 --> 02:21:04,200
Speaker 7: as somebody's kind of transitioning from them not being healthy

2940
02:21:04,240 --> 02:21:05,840
Speaker 7: to them being in the healthy place.

2941
02:21:06,000 --> 02:21:07,480
Speaker 2: Okay, reporter voice, are.

2942
02:21:07,360 --> 02:21:14,160
Speaker 6: You you I know, right, I was like, okay, uh

2943
02:21:15,480 --> 02:21:16,920
Speaker 6: oh before I answer that.

2944
02:21:17,080 --> 02:21:19,760
Speaker 4: Just going back on the therapist thing, you also have

2945
02:21:19,840 --> 02:21:20,640
Speaker 4: to walk in.

2946
02:21:22,240 --> 02:21:27,240
Speaker 6: With your own work, meaning you can't just walk in

2947
02:21:27,280 --> 02:21:28,680
Speaker 6: and expect the therapist to do it.

2948
02:21:28,720 --> 02:21:31,960
Speaker 4: Like, you have to come willing to make it work.

2949
02:21:32,160 --> 02:21:34,280
Speaker 4: And if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. But

2950
02:21:34,400 --> 02:21:36,680
Speaker 4: you you have to come in with that willingness. If

2951
02:21:36,720 --> 02:21:40,560
Speaker 4: you had bad experiences before and you walk in thinking

2952
02:21:40,600 --> 02:21:42,760
Speaker 4: this is going to be another bad experience. That's another

2953
02:21:42,840 --> 02:21:45,160
Speaker 4: human being, it's not a robot. So it's like, Okay,

2954
02:21:45,360 --> 02:21:46,519
Speaker 4: we're both uncomfortable.

2955
02:21:47,000 --> 02:21:49,039
Speaker 6: Uh, you know it's not going to work out, but

2956
02:21:49,200 --> 02:21:51,360
Speaker 6: like you have to kind of want it to work,

2957
02:21:51,360 --> 02:21:53,560
Speaker 6: and then if it doesn't work, and you keep it moving.

2958
02:21:53,959 --> 02:21:58,080
Speaker 6: But and I know it's difficult not to bring your

2959
02:21:58,120 --> 02:22:02,000
Speaker 6: past into any situation, but you have to try sometimes,

2960
02:22:02,120 --> 02:22:03,800
Speaker 6: especially if you if you really need it, if you

2961
02:22:03,840 --> 02:22:06,360
Speaker 6: really want it, so they got I think the.

2962
02:22:06,240 --> 02:22:11,800
Speaker 4: Best story that I've heard is that No Shame Day started.

2963
02:22:13,080 --> 02:22:17,440
Speaker 6: And I remember this particular person who was like kind

2964
02:22:17,440 --> 02:22:22,600
Speaker 6: of being snarky about it and not really taking it seriously,

2965
02:22:23,680 --> 02:22:27,199
Speaker 6: and then the following year they were.

2966
02:22:27,000 --> 02:22:28,160
Speaker 4: Taking a lot more seriously.

2967
02:22:28,200 --> 02:22:30,440
Speaker 6: Said that during that year they you know, they were

2968
02:22:30,480 --> 02:22:34,640
Speaker 6: diagnosed with something, and then the following year you could

2969
02:22:34,640 --> 02:22:38,320
Speaker 6: see like the progression as far as how invested they

2970
02:22:38,360 --> 02:22:42,640
Speaker 6: were in their own mental health. And uh, two years

2971
02:22:42,680 --> 02:22:46,480
Speaker 6: ago they said that they were going into school to

2972
02:22:46,560 --> 02:22:47,480
Speaker 6: become a therapist.

2973
02:22:48,200 --> 02:22:50,840
Speaker 4: And I don't know if that's the best story, but.

2974
02:22:50,720 --> 02:22:53,240
Speaker 6: That's the one that comes to mind immediately because I

2975
02:22:53,320 --> 02:23:00,280
Speaker 6: see the way that when people allow themselves permission to

2976
02:23:00,440 --> 02:23:05,680
Speaker 6: just be open to something, what happens can be something

2977
02:23:05,760 --> 02:23:09,160
Speaker 6: so beautiful and so helpful and so and so healthy

2978
02:23:09,840 --> 02:23:13,120
Speaker 6: that I think that the point I'm trying to make

2979
02:23:13,160 --> 02:23:15,560
Speaker 6: on both those statements is like just being open to

2980
02:23:15,600 --> 02:23:19,600
Speaker 6: the possibility and what happens when you do that. When

2981
02:23:19,640 --> 02:23:22,560
Speaker 6: you're open to just the possibility of things changing for

2982
02:23:22,640 --> 02:23:27,200
Speaker 6: the better as opposed to being overly cautious.

2983
02:23:26,720 --> 02:23:28,160
Speaker 4: Of things not working out.

2984
02:23:28,640 --> 02:23:30,880
Speaker 6: There's a huge difference between those two things, and I

2985
02:23:30,879 --> 02:23:32,440
Speaker 6: don't think that people really understand that.

2986
02:23:32,640 --> 02:23:34,959
Speaker 4: But walking in thinking I want this to.

2987
02:23:34,959 --> 02:23:38,880
Speaker 6: Work, so that if it doesn't work, you're disappointed, but

2988
02:23:38,920 --> 02:23:41,879
Speaker 6: you know that you came in there with the right mentality,

2989
02:23:42,040 --> 02:23:44,000
Speaker 6: and I think that person definitely did that. I kind

2990
02:23:44,000 --> 02:23:46,440
Speaker 6: of lost half of them but I remember the last

2991
02:23:46,440 --> 02:23:48,000
Speaker 6: that I heard from them that they were going to

2992
02:23:48,040 --> 02:23:52,879
Speaker 6: school to to to become a therapist. But beyond that,

2993
02:23:52,959 --> 02:23:56,039
Speaker 6: it's also just knowing that there are people out there

2994
02:23:56,080 --> 02:23:59,800
Speaker 6: with stories, and there are on different parts of the journey.

2995
02:24:00,280 --> 02:24:04,359
Speaker 6: They are just beginning, they're you know, just after starting,

2996
02:24:04,400 --> 02:24:06,520
Speaker 6: and then there are people who are and I want

2997
02:24:06,560 --> 02:24:09,600
Speaker 6: more of this. This is where I tend to start

2998
02:24:09,600 --> 02:24:11,280
Speaker 6: to have a little bit of a problem and I

2999
02:24:11,280 --> 02:24:12,199
Speaker 6: get a little discouraged.

3000
02:24:12,280 --> 02:24:13,600
Speaker 4: Is that I want more of.

3001
02:24:13,640 --> 02:24:17,520
Speaker 6: The of the of the of the dot dot dot,

3002
02:24:18,280 --> 02:24:21,440
Speaker 6: where you're just you're you're here and you're doing it,

3003
02:24:21,520 --> 02:24:25,520
Speaker 6: you're working. Things aren't fantastic, but things aren't terrible, and

3004
02:24:25,560 --> 02:24:28,680
Speaker 6: you're just okay. And I think that that okay is

3005
02:24:28,720 --> 02:24:30,360
Speaker 6: a place that we don't talk about because once we

3006
02:24:30,360 --> 02:24:31,720
Speaker 6: get to okay, we stop talking.

3007
02:24:32,040 --> 02:24:34,440
Speaker 4: We talk about the terrible all the time.

3008
02:24:34,480 --> 02:24:36,760
Speaker 6: We'll talk about it and talk about it, We'll log

3009
02:24:36,840 --> 02:24:39,800
Speaker 6: in every day and talk about how horrible things are.

3010
02:24:40,000 --> 02:24:42,480
Speaker 4: When things get better, we don't talk about that. We

3011
02:24:42,520 --> 02:24:44,080
Speaker 4: don't talk about just fine.

3012
02:24:44,200 --> 02:24:47,560
Speaker 6: We don't talk about you know, the place the median

3013
02:24:48,040 --> 02:24:51,640
Speaker 6: between everything is fantastic and everything is fucking shit. It's

3014
02:24:51,920 --> 02:24:53,640
Speaker 6: just okay. And I think that there needs to be

3015
02:24:53,680 --> 02:24:59,000
Speaker 6: more just okay. And I hope that. I hope if

3016
02:24:59,040 --> 02:25:02,520
Speaker 6: I've done anything, if I've done nothing in that space,

3017
02:25:02,720 --> 02:25:07,160
Speaker 6: I've modeled the what happens when the work continues and

3018
02:25:07,200 --> 02:25:08,840
Speaker 6: you're just okay, yes, and.

3019
02:25:10,840 --> 02:25:11,200
Speaker 2: I don't know.

3020
02:25:11,360 --> 02:25:13,440
Speaker 4: That's that's where I am. That's where I hope you are.

3021
02:25:13,560 --> 02:25:16,840
Speaker 7: And I think for a lot of people, even if

3022
02:25:16,879 --> 02:25:19,920
Speaker 7: they don't have any mental issues, just okay, it's boring

3023
02:25:20,400 --> 02:25:23,080
Speaker 7: and nobody ever wants to talk about the boring.

3024
02:25:22,760 --> 02:25:24,760
Speaker 5: Shit that happens in their everyday life.

3025
02:25:24,840 --> 02:25:26,160
Speaker 2: I think it's a privilege thing.

3026
02:25:26,680 --> 02:25:30,120
Speaker 3: I think it's a privileged thing, like, uh, you know,

3027
02:25:30,280 --> 02:25:33,360
Speaker 3: just knowing Bossy as a friend, BOSSI has fought for

3028
02:25:33,640 --> 02:25:36,160
Speaker 3: the boring quote unquote you know what I mean, Like

3029
02:25:36,240 --> 02:25:37,760
Speaker 3: she had to fight for that. A lot of people

3030
02:25:37,760 --> 02:25:39,959
Speaker 3: take that shit for granted. They do, and that's why

3031
02:25:39,959 --> 02:25:43,199
Speaker 3: they look for their highs and lows so so much externally,

3032
02:25:43,240 --> 02:25:45,400
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like it's a thrill, it's

3033
02:25:45,400 --> 02:25:48,600
Speaker 3: a you know us. I have a disdain for certain

3034
02:25:49,360 --> 02:25:51,280
Speaker 3: for the way the language has changed to where just

3035
02:25:51,320 --> 02:25:53,920
Speaker 3: people learn the words of mental health and then just

3036
02:25:53,959 --> 02:25:57,480
Speaker 3: go out there and become practicationers of it, or you know,

3037
02:25:57,640 --> 02:26:00,400
Speaker 3: influence mental health influencers, or just people trying to get

3038
02:26:00,400 --> 02:26:04,000
Speaker 3: to the money of it, because it's like you're lowering,

3039
02:26:04,320 --> 02:26:06,879
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like you're you're you're diluting

3040
02:26:07,680 --> 02:26:11,080
Speaker 3: something that's very real and something that people have literally

3041
02:26:11,240 --> 02:26:15,680
Speaker 3: like lived through. It's their experience while they're talking about

3042
02:26:15,720 --> 02:26:19,640
Speaker 3: these things that it's not just from a place of like, oh,

3043
02:26:19,680 --> 02:26:21,119
Speaker 3: this will be a nice way to sell a book

3044
02:26:21,200 --> 02:26:23,440
Speaker 3: or this will be a nice way to like make

3045
02:26:23,560 --> 02:26:24,080
Speaker 3: some money.

3046
02:26:24,160 --> 02:26:28,640
Speaker 4: And so I think, you know, a show or something right.

3047
02:26:28,560 --> 02:26:33,080
Speaker 3: Exactly so you know, Vossi's uh boring or Vossi's you know,

3048
02:26:33,120 --> 02:26:37,760
Speaker 3: when she's not on social media or whatever and she's

3049
02:26:37,840 --> 02:26:40,560
Speaker 3: just doing okay or she's just or she's doing well

3050
02:26:40,680 --> 02:26:41,720
Speaker 3: or she you know whatever.

3051
02:26:42,560 --> 02:26:45,840
Speaker 2: That gray area, that middle is the point.

3052
02:26:47,200 --> 02:26:47,560
Speaker 5: I like.

3053
02:26:47,959 --> 02:26:51,280
Speaker 7: I like being there, Like for me personally, I think

3054
02:26:51,360 --> 02:26:55,640
Speaker 7: that's the best place to be versus granted, extremely low.

3055
02:26:55,600 --> 02:26:57,840
Speaker 3: Take it for I think it's people take it for granted.

3056
02:26:57,879 --> 02:27:01,160
Speaker 3: If they're natural brain chemistry, he has.

3057
02:27:00,959 --> 02:27:01,640
Speaker 2: Them around there.

3058
02:27:01,680 --> 02:27:03,400
Speaker 3: We take it for granted because there's other places are

3059
02:27:03,440 --> 02:27:06,400
Speaker 3: like tourism that you visit, you know what I mean,

3060
02:27:06,480 --> 02:27:09,440
Speaker 3: it's so it's like someone has something sad happened to them,

3061
02:27:09,440 --> 02:27:11,760
Speaker 3: which is sad. But then it's like you can't just

3062
02:27:11,800 --> 02:27:13,640
Speaker 3: be like, man, I'm sad I lost my job. It's

3063
02:27:13,640 --> 02:27:16,000
Speaker 3: like I'm depressed I lost my job. It's like, yes,

3064
02:27:16,440 --> 02:27:19,600
Speaker 3: we've just changed language in a way that's like it's

3065
02:27:19,680 --> 02:27:22,280
Speaker 3: just different. You know, someone gets very excited about something,

3066
02:27:22,320 --> 02:27:26,480
Speaker 3: I'm manic. Are you like manic, are you just very

3067
02:27:26,480 --> 02:27:28,320
Speaker 3: excited that your team won a football game?

3068
02:27:28,400 --> 02:27:28,600
Speaker 5: You know?

3069
02:27:29,640 --> 02:27:30,080
Speaker 6: Yeah?

3070
02:27:30,560 --> 02:27:32,680
Speaker 4: And then and then they ignore, like we were talking

3071
02:27:32,680 --> 02:27:36,400
Speaker 4: about before, they ignore the actual signs of mania, the

3072
02:27:36,480 --> 02:27:39,680
Speaker 4: thing that they're cheering on online, you know, or the

3073
02:27:40,280 --> 02:27:41,800
Speaker 4: or the actual.

3074
02:27:42,920 --> 02:27:48,039
Speaker 6: Signs of depression that aren't being upset that something happens,

3075
02:27:48,640 --> 02:27:51,960
Speaker 6: like I don't. It gets really frustrating to me because

3076
02:27:52,040 --> 02:27:55,120
Speaker 6: I feel like, first of all, thank you, Rod, I

3077
02:27:55,120 --> 02:27:58,560
Speaker 6: appreciate that I work really hard for these okays. But

3078
02:27:58,680 --> 02:28:03,080
Speaker 6: it gets frustrating because I want people to be okay. Yeah,

3079
02:28:03,400 --> 02:28:07,120
Speaker 6: I want people to be fine. I want people to

3080
02:28:07,120 --> 02:28:10,160
Speaker 6: to to to get up every day and live a

3081
02:28:10,280 --> 02:28:12,160
Speaker 6: boring ass life if that's what they want.

3082
02:28:14,360 --> 02:28:18,760
Speaker 4: But suggest sometimes it feels like suggesting.

3083
02:28:18,240 --> 02:28:23,200
Speaker 6: People want that is somehow like insulting them, right, you know,

3084
02:28:23,360 --> 02:28:24,760
Speaker 6: like like how dare you?

3085
02:28:25,160 --> 02:28:25,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I.

3086
02:28:27,160 --> 02:28:31,640
Speaker 3: Deserve, especially with this pressure, uh with social media, to

3087
02:28:31,720 --> 02:28:33,720
Speaker 3: always be performing and always be honest, like.

3088
02:28:34,280 --> 02:28:37,000
Speaker 2: You have to be opening the new business.

3089
02:28:37,080 --> 02:28:40,000
Speaker 3: You have to be And it doesn't like it doesn't

3090
02:28:40,000 --> 02:28:42,080
Speaker 3: matter what's in your real life and what because no

3091
02:28:42,080 --> 02:28:44,160
Speaker 3: one has to deal with whatever's in your real life.

3092
02:28:44,240 --> 02:28:45,200
Speaker 2: Right, So that's true.

3093
02:28:45,280 --> 02:28:48,480
Speaker 3: No, like, oh, well, in my real life I'm struggling

3094
02:28:48,600 --> 02:28:51,280
Speaker 3: being a parent or whatever. It's like, yeah, that's not

3095
02:28:51,280 --> 02:28:53,480
Speaker 3: what we came to click on. Show us the book,

3096
02:28:53,720 --> 02:28:55,640
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And that's how people seem

3097
02:28:55,680 --> 02:28:58,600
Speaker 3: to be treating this, Like it's very much like show.

3098
02:28:58,400 --> 02:29:00,000
Speaker 2: Us what you've accomplished.

3099
02:29:00,680 --> 02:29:05,000
Speaker 3: And if someone in your real life were to say, like, hey,

3100
02:29:05,200 --> 02:29:07,279
Speaker 3: with what you're going through right now, maybe you shouldn't

3101
02:29:07,320 --> 02:29:09,959
Speaker 3: do this. That's a real person that knows you has

3102
02:29:10,000 --> 02:29:12,720
Speaker 3: your real interest in mind, right on social media, we'd

3103
02:29:12,720 --> 02:29:14,720
Speaker 3: be like cut them off. They're a hater, they're this.

3104
02:29:15,080 --> 02:29:17,119
Speaker 3: They might be trying to save you from another breakdown.

3105
02:29:17,200 --> 02:29:19,560
Speaker 3: I don't know, like we don't like we just have

3106
02:29:19,720 --> 02:29:22,400
Speaker 3: this privilege and assumption that everyone's in this.

3107
02:29:22,520 --> 02:29:23,280
Speaker 2: Different areas are.

3108
02:29:23,240 --> 02:29:26,440
Speaker 3: Great, and that's also not to say that therapy would

3109
02:29:26,520 --> 02:29:30,960
Speaker 3: not help someone that isn't neurodivergent or isn't experiencing extreme

3110
02:29:31,040 --> 02:29:34,320
Speaker 3: highs and lows. Point being just that everyone is kind

3111
02:29:34,320 --> 02:29:37,200
Speaker 3: of functioning on different levels. So you have to engage

3112
02:29:37,200 --> 02:29:42,000
Speaker 3: in work that's very, very personal to you because none

3113
02:29:42,000 --> 02:29:43,840
Speaker 3: of these other people know what the fuck's happening for you.

3114
02:29:44,120 --> 02:29:46,119
Speaker 4: And it's work. It's absolutely work.

3115
02:29:46,240 --> 02:29:49,440
Speaker 6: It is not easy, and it's not supposed to be easy, right,

3116
02:29:49,800 --> 02:29:53,400
Speaker 6: It's not supposed to be easy. One of my I

3117
02:29:53,440 --> 02:29:56,520
Speaker 6: tweeted a couple of weeks ago that I had to

3118
02:29:56,560 --> 02:29:59,480
Speaker 6: cancel a meeting because I wasn't ready for it, Like

3119
02:29:59,520 --> 02:30:04,880
Speaker 6: I just was it ready? And the responses I got

3120
02:30:04,920 --> 02:30:10,039
Speaker 6: to that tweet were ran the gamut. I was like,

3121
02:30:11,000 --> 02:30:12,200
Speaker 6: how how are you mad at me?

3122
02:30:12,240 --> 02:30:15,480
Speaker 4: Because I'm not ready for meeting. I'm supposed to have

3123
02:30:16,080 --> 02:30:16,640
Speaker 4: that company.

3124
02:30:16,680 --> 02:30:18,560
Speaker 2: They shouldn't have meetings on Fridays.

3125
02:30:20,480 --> 02:30:21,720
Speaker 5: They know it's Monday morning.

3126
02:30:21,800 --> 02:30:25,640
Speaker 4: Girl should just give you the job. That's not how

3127
02:30:25,720 --> 02:30:26,279
Speaker 4: life works.

3128
02:30:26,280 --> 02:30:29,800
Speaker 6: And I'm telling you how I feel about me. It's

3129
02:30:29,840 --> 02:30:32,080
Speaker 6: not about you because it's a personal journey. It's not

3130
02:30:32,200 --> 02:30:34,840
Speaker 6: your journey. But I just I just I just want.

3131
02:30:34,720 --> 02:30:36,640
Speaker 4: Everybody to be okay, and I want people to want

3132
02:30:36,640 --> 02:30:39,880
Speaker 4: to be okay. That's that's the end of it. I

3133
02:30:40,440 --> 02:30:40,879
Speaker 4: am a.

3134
02:30:40,800 --> 02:30:45,080
Speaker 6: Proponent of black mediocrity. Sometimes we're not excellent. Sometimes it's

3135
02:30:45,120 --> 02:30:46,720
Speaker 6: just fine. Let's be that.

3136
02:30:46,879 --> 02:30:48,080
Speaker 2: I keep trying to put you all on.

3137
02:30:48,360 --> 02:30:51,039
Speaker 3: I keep trying to put you all on, like Tyler

3138
02:30:51,080 --> 02:30:52,000
Speaker 3: Perry and.

3139
02:30:53,640 --> 02:30:54,840
Speaker 2: That dude Deona Taylor.

3140
02:30:54,879 --> 02:30:56,560
Speaker 3: I think it's his name that keeps making all the

3141
02:30:56,600 --> 02:31:00,000
Speaker 3: black executive fan fiction movie. I keep trying to tell y'all,

3142
02:31:00,240 --> 02:31:03,400
Speaker 3: it's a lot of mediocre people making mediocre work out.

3143
02:31:03,240 --> 02:31:07,920
Speaker 2: Here, and we need to give them. Give them that flowers. Okay, Uh,

3144
02:31:08,600 --> 02:31:11,080
Speaker 2: thank you for being here. It was so much fun.

3145
02:31:11,920 --> 02:31:15,640
Speaker 2: You know. You're welcome you too, You're welcome back anytime.

3146
02:31:15,760 --> 02:31:18,920
Speaker 3: It doesn't always have to be I know you always

3147
02:31:18,959 --> 02:31:21,240
Speaker 3: like to have a reason, but you can just come

3148
02:31:21,280 --> 02:31:23,400
Speaker 3: and we can talk about the news.

3149
02:31:23,120 --> 02:31:27,160
Speaker 2: And white people and pop culture and uh race.

3150
02:31:27,440 --> 02:31:30,280
Speaker 3: So so please come back and let's have like even

3151
02:31:30,320 --> 02:31:35,240
Speaker 3: more fun. Although it's always fun talking to you so much,

3152
02:31:35,320 --> 02:31:40,000
Speaker 3: you too. Tell everybody where to find you nowhere, all right,

3153
02:31:40,120 --> 02:31:41,879
Speaker 3: don't come, don't listen.

3154
02:31:42,160 --> 02:31:43,000
Speaker 4: Don't talk to me.

3155
02:31:46,520 --> 02:31:48,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tweet. Don't talk to me.

3156
02:31:48,320 --> 02:31:51,720
Speaker 3: No one responds closing all I'm gonna close all the

3157
02:31:51,760 --> 02:31:53,120
Speaker 3: replies like Felicia Rashad.

3158
02:31:55,440 --> 02:31:57,680
Speaker 2: We'll be back tomorrow with another.

3159
02:31:57,879 --> 02:32:00,720
Speaker 3: This is like a very good home home Me week

3160
02:32:00,879 --> 02:32:02,720
Speaker 3: because we got Nick gu we got Bossi.

3161
02:32:03,040 --> 02:32:05,000
Speaker 2: Tomorrow we're having Jail Covan on the show.

3162
02:32:05,640 --> 02:32:05,760
Speaker 4: Uh.

3163
02:32:05,800 --> 02:32:06,600
Speaker 2: And then Wednesday it's.

3164
02:32:06,480 --> 02:32:09,600
Speaker 3: Probably just us uh but we're the original homies.

3165
02:32:09,879 --> 02:32:10,039
Speaker 7: Uh.

3166
02:32:10,240 --> 02:32:12,400
Speaker 2: But we'll be back tomorrow.

3167
02:32:12,480 --> 02:32:14,640
Speaker 3: Thank y'all for listening, Bossie, thank you for being hey

3168
02:32:14,680 --> 02:32:17,320
Speaker 3: you and uh yeah, until next time.

3169
02:32:18,200 --> 02:32:19,120
Speaker 2: I love you, I love to