1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,280 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This once again, 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: it's Cold Stratton filling in for Kevin Pollock, who was 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: exact producing the antiques road show spinoff, The Marvelous miss 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: Is Appraisal. That's a good one. I don't know where 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: that was going. It's the day after Chris. Yes, look 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 1: all these new clothes you're all wearing. I'm pretty proud 7 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: of this wonderful bunny suit I was gifted. You look 8 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: adorable things. I'm in a brand new blouse. Yeah, that 9 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:37,840 Speaker 1: looks good on you. Yeah. Hey, you got your dreads back? Yeah, 10 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: well these are actually I can take them off their 11 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: extension dreads. Yeah. Key got his dreads back, and Chris 12 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: is wearing nothing once again. Yeah, well I just figured 13 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,959 Speaker 1: nothing's better. You don't have anything on underneath the table either. No, 14 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaker 1: I came in afterwards. Yeah. Well, when I stand up 15 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: later and I give you hug goodbye, I'm probably gonna 16 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: have a hard pass on that. Okay, I'll have a 17 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: hard pass to Hey. Al right, well let's meet everybody, 18 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: shall we. I had no particular order. He's making a 19 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 1: killing on the internal Oregon black Market. James Heeney, James, 20 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: what's your biggest seller this season. This season will specifically 21 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: Christmas his hearts. It makes sense, that makes sense. I 22 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: mean it comes around a couple of times a year, 23 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: but yeah, Valentine's Day, Christmas, that's it. The hearts otherwise 24 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: are pretty out of human hearts. The gift that keeps 25 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,759 Speaker 1: on giving blood. Uh, let's say hello to the laser 26 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: tag Midwest Regional champion Chris Alvarado. What's your key to 27 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: dominating tag? Um? I I carry baby powder in my 28 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: in my coat pocket, and I throw the baby powder 29 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: in the people's eyes and then they run around the 30 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: dark room blinded and zap zap, and it's a good 31 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: way to do it. I never I never zopp and 32 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: I never zip though. Just no, okay, alright, that's fun. Finally, 33 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: he's been understudy for every single role in Hamilton's, including 34 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 1: Peggy Craigowski. Craig, what song you wish you could tackle 35 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: from that show? I'd love to be all three Skylar sisters. 36 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: I think that would be pretty fun. Yeah. I don't 37 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: think I can wrap as fast as the slowest rapping 38 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: member of that cast. God, but that's actually a great show. 39 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: One night at the Hudson Theater comediential stage that's very 40 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,399 Speaker 1: specific to l A. But Craig Atkowski doing all three 41 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: parts of Hamilton's Sisters and leaving blank space for everybody 42 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: else's roles. Craigecowsky does all three skys live on stage. 43 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: That there's a different show that I thought it was. 44 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: It's a really, really weird crowd. We'd like to invite 45 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: you to become VP members of our new Patreon page. 46 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: Bonus episodes not available to non member It's a phone 47 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: number just for v i p s where you can 48 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,839 Speaker 1: leave a message being a question and request whatever. We'll 49 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: reply at a regular video Q and A is at 50 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: Kevin's Place, which you're only available to v i p s. 51 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: There's all kinds of cool ship, so please join our 52 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: supercore fans by going to patreon dot com slash alchemy this. 53 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: That's patreon dot com slash alchemy this. It's a forward slash. 54 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: It's not a backslash. It's a forward slash. Yeah, okay, 55 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: in case you're slash confused. Oh. Today's scene suggestions were 56 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: gathered from our listeners emails. If you'd like to submit yours, 57 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: please write to the podcast at your name here at 58 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy 59 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: this dot com. Hey Alchemists. I'm a huge fan of 60 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: the show and early listener. After hearing Kraikikowski immediately realized 61 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: how hard it is to write a name on a 62 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: grain of rice episode four. I always looked you all 63 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: do your show with such an infectious sense of joy 64 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: and creativity. I'm excited when new episodes come out and 65 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: end up stacking up a funer row so I can 66 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: listen to them on longer flights. Speaking of longer flights, 67 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: I recently had a chance to visit Kiv, Ukraine pronounced Kiev. 68 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,839 Speaker 1: They care about this, I assure you, And as part 69 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: of that tip, I experienced the aftermath of the cherchial disaster. No, 70 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: it is a profound recently, Yeah, it's radioactive for a while. 71 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: That's yeah, it's glowing for a bid. It's a profound 72 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: eight hour meditation on sadness and human stupidity, and therefore 73 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 1: I feel ripe for a Seede suggestion. So Seene suggestion. 74 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: A group of international tourists visit the radioactive wast sense 75 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: of Chernobyl and Prepriot, but things take a turn when 76 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: the tour guide learns someone has been licking things in 77 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: order to get more likes on Instagram. All the very best, 78 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: please continue to be who you are, and should you 79 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: ever end up in Minneapolis, all of he Need's hash 80 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: Browns are on me. And over here are some of 81 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: the exact replicas of the bricks that were in this 82 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: building today of the big disaster. These ones here are replicas, 83 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 1: so they are for sale and they are exa act matches. 84 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: Over there, don't cross the rope. Those are the real 85 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: bricks where we crossed the rope. I said, don't cross 86 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,919 Speaker 1: We hear a cross rope. Listen, I'm saying, don't cross 87 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 1: the rope. Cross cross the ropes? Over Why did chicken 88 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: cross the roope to get to real brick? You guys, 89 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: it's not safe over there. We're fine, We're fine. Wow, 90 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: it's nice over here. It's very nice. Now we know 91 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: how the other half lives, you know, Yeah, rope. I 92 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: hate to do this, but you know I've got a 93 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: following on Instagram. You're big on instag Yes, yeah, well 94 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 1: it's a hobby more than anything. Would you mind taking 95 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: up Yes? You posted to pyot or picks see it again, 96 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 1: pyot or picks O p I O t R p 97 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 1: I c s. It's your Instagram. Yes, yes, you can't 98 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: you post to pyotr picks. Yes, that's right, that's it. 99 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 1: Would you mind taking the picture? Maybe I g story 100 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: of me dancing on the bridge. Let's do boomerang. Excuse me, sir, 101 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: coming over the please come over here. I can't come 102 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: over there. You have to. I'll come up next to them. Okay, 103 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,279 Speaker 1: catch my phone, catch my phone? Okay, good good, do 104 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: a boomerang of us licking the bricks. Please come back 105 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: to this side. No, no, no, not, this is important following. Alright, alright, alright, 106 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,280 Speaker 1: let's do it quick, because every second year there is 107 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 1: dangerous al right over here. Okay, okay, okay, he's nice 108 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: over it's nice looking nice over there. It is deadly. 109 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 1: You guys probably just shaved years off your lives. Let's go, 110 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: let's go. I want to show you the next thing. 111 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: Here's your phone. Thank you post posting all you? Okay? 112 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 1: Um am I tagging you on your official account or 113 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: that New India when you're doing the arts and stuff. 114 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: You know you can't take both and then the followers 115 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 1: can find either. I don't want to tag balls now. 116 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: I want you to look towards the ground right now, 117 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,239 Speaker 1: but brief glances to the left and right of this building. 118 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,359 Speaker 1: This is the original building that a lot of the 119 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 1: survivors had to be treated at. It closed. We got 120 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 1: a response, someone did high five and an explosion. This 121 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: isn't funny. This isn't funny. This was all a big 122 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: disaster here on my my instagram. I mean, okay, that's 123 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: kind of funny. But he can I can I ask 124 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: you something? Of course, we are obviously all Russian or 125 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: various forms of us. You are obviously an American. I'm Canadian. 126 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: How did you come happen to get this job? I'm 127 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: giving you teaching? How they're so? We have a lot 128 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 1: of opportunities here for uh cause, cause for peace. Yeah. 129 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: I just want to see the world somewhere, some more special, 130 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: some are special. You want We like that, We like 131 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: that in somebody. We like your enthusiasm. You want to 132 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: go somewhere. That's that's that's going to make a difference. Perhaps, 133 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, yeah, I guess, I guess. So I kind 134 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: of just wanted to see the world, maybe some of 135 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: the ancient maybe I don't know, some of the old 136 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: castles Germany, says yes, Yes, I have just the place 137 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 1: for you, just the place for you. Now, have you 138 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 1: um been to the dentist recently? Me? Yeah, well, I 139 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: mean it's it's probably coming up soon than Okay, have 140 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: you had any surgeries lately? Not specifically, so you haven't 141 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: been around any radiation so to speak. Okay, great, that's great, 142 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: that is great, very good. And do you have any 143 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 1: issues with a general darkness? I mean, I perfer to 144 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: not be in the darkness. And I don't know what 145 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're getting out. Are you talking 146 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: about evil? Are you talking about so? It sounds like 147 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: it wasn't tricked. I am getting to see the world. 148 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: And who is this general darkness? Is this Canadian military? No? 149 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: General darkness. Turns out that there's not a lot of 150 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: sunlight here. I think I speak for all of us 151 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: when I say thank you for relaying entire job interview stories. Yes, 152 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: you could have just said I interviewed for job, get job, 153 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: come here. No, you spared no detail, and that was helpful. 154 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Well. During the day, I do these 155 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: tours and I teach a night class of English. If 156 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: but you guys, is English is great? Thank thank you, 157 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: thank you. We were raised on the Rocky movies, which 158 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: one Adriane Well four is the revered film, that is 159 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: the best. The ending, I did not care ending fantastic. 160 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: It's propaganda and it's American propaganda, which that's not true. Well, 161 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: how do you mean, how would you know your Canadian? Yeah, 162 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: well I've seen all of the Rocky films and none 163 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: of them were propaganda. They were great films. Okay, Well 164 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: tell us why you like them all? Well, I like 165 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 1: them all because they underdog, start with one. Honestly, I 166 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 1: like them all for the same reason because Rocky wins 167 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 1: at the end. Well, he's a moral victory. If I 168 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: love what what in the place? What is the best 169 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: Canadian film? The best Canadian film? You must know you 170 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: see cinema enthusiasts. Have you seen that John Candy movie 171 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: called Canadian Bacon? This is the worst Canadian the best? 172 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: Like he's right there entitled like He's that was, Like mcalmore, 173 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: just make a documentary, don't make a live action Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. 174 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,559 Speaker 1: Oh Michael Moore did do that one documentary in Canada 175 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 1: that was great. What was that called? It was sickle? 176 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 1: It was really good. Okay, Okay, well he goes to 177 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: Canada for part of it. Yeah, it was a Canadian movie. 178 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: But anyways, this is the hospital that a lot which 179 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: I don't mean to stop anybody, but um, I can 180 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: see through this wall now, but that's a brick wall. 181 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: You can't see this. Oh my god, Peter, this is 182 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: your origin story. You get power, superpowers, you get powers? 183 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 1: Is that what's happening? I could see through wall. What 184 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: he's on another side of two men peeing? That could 185 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:16,199 Speaker 1: be any wall. Prove it by selling what's in my pocket? 186 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: What's pocket? I want to tell you about the penis? 187 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: Is I'm looking at specific so that you know I'm 188 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: not lying? Yes, detailed as job interview story, I don't. 189 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: I can't even see through that wall, but I could 190 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: easily describe a couple of penises to you, long pickle, 191 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: What you're being a real sickle? It doesn't prove anything 192 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: describing some cocks. Fine, fine, vine. Maybe I'm just my 193 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:45,199 Speaker 1: eyes are blurry. Or if you are seeing through walls 194 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: and I'm sure that this denim that I'm wearing, you 195 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: could see through and tell me what's in my pocket? 196 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 1: Describe penis? Does good? Good? Ideas you think story. Yes, okay, 197 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: I got something in my pocket. You can get scribe. 198 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:06,439 Speaker 1: Oh I see penis? What girth? Um? What is girth? 199 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: Is the the Okay, it's hard to it's hard to. 200 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,959 Speaker 1: I know, not good at measurements. Should I restart this? 201 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: I have something very specific in my pocket that you 202 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: hold something. Okay, let's roll, let's go. Okay, okay, you 203 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: have a birthmark of sorts and it looks like a 204 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 1: dragon flying. It looks like a flying dragon on your penis. 205 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: It looks like I mean, that's notis it's not a tattoo. 206 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: It's a birthmark. But nonetheless it's not anybody couldn't get 207 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: I'm proven. I'm sure three of the four of us 208 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 1: have a birth mark. Dick dragon, Yes, Dick dragon. It's 209 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 1: just the mouth of a dragon. You don't see any wings, 210 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: but it's clearly like you know what. That seems like 211 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: an opportunity start you shall finish. Are you not feeling 212 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: any side effects from like in the bricks, now that 213 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 1: you mentioned that, I am getting headache. That's normal. That 214 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 1: is normal radiation poison. You should take these iodine pills 215 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: before because you're These are for emergencies and if you're 216 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,960 Speaker 1: feeling the effects of radiation poisoning. Eat these two. I 217 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 1: am having the effect to I'm having Vietnam flashbacks, which 218 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: is weird because I was not in conflict. Interesting common, 219 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: that's very uncommon. I don't think you need an iodine pill. 220 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:51,479 Speaker 1: You should take these. I think honestly, Oh my god, 221 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: it's like, oh my god, is that what are you 222 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 1: holding in your hand? It looks like you've brought something 223 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: back from the past. Oh, that can't be true. That's 224 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: that's say. Maybe I am stuck in time like Billy 225 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: Pilgrim from Has five or seven from totally good. That's 226 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,679 Speaker 1: physically not possible. I don't know where did this Aki 227 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: come from. I don't know where that came from. AK 228 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 1: And then suddenly he is that's impossible. Hold on me 229 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: one second. I want to take a picture of you 230 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 1: with it. Do something funny, funny with it, don't it's fun? 231 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: Oh you got here? What did he shoot you? In Birthmarch? 232 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 1: He shot me? He shot me right my crotch. Okay, Now, 233 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: perhaps you want to lick the bricks to save your life. 234 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 1: I highly thought that will save my life. Wait, wait, 235 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, I want to instagram this don't 236 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 1: don't feel again? Feel me? Oh my god, look at 237 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: the hole is closing off. Hashtag saved dick Dragon. That 238 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 1: was me. I feel like I wanted them to feel better, 239 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, I hear his wound. No no, no, 240 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 1: no no, that's not how that works. It seems like 241 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: it would have been too fast. I could see through things. 242 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: He went back and flashback and had an actual gun. 243 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: You you have nothing. Okay. Maybe I don't have superpower. Okay, 244 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: maybe I just like a break and I'm going to 245 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 1: dive again. I feel bad. Now you're floating? Am I floating? 246 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: You are floating? Not far? It's like six inches of 247 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: its kind of blame superpower out. I gave him the bill. 248 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: That was super quick. I know this isn't fair. Give 249 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 1: me superpower. Okay, please continue the tour. We paid good 250 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: money for the stop here. I can't do it anymore. 251 00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 1: So what is the most fun thing to do here? 252 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 1: And that's our first see yes, yes, well you know 253 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 1: we made some terrible sort of funny that's right. Our 254 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 1: second scene Hey, cast of one of my favorite podcasts. 255 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: So that was the sitty in November twenty one episode, 256 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 1: you know, the one with the funeral bit. Well, yeah, 257 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: we buried my great grandmother this morning, who I was 258 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 1: very close with. When the funeral bit started, I burst 259 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: into tears but couldn't stop laughing because of how sad 260 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: and hysterical I was. I've never felt more emotions at all, 261 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 1: all at once in my life. I'm not sure if 262 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: I should resent you or thank you for the experience. Regardless, 263 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 1: I still love the show and what Kevin and his 264 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 1: test subjects due to make us laugh. I just thought 265 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: i'd share while i'm here suggestion for the show. The 266 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: group is a band of goblins in a D and 267 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 1: D game that's about to jump out and attack the 268 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 1: players of the D and D game. I love to 269 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:00,080 Speaker 1: see how Kevin or Cole sets this one up of 270 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 1: the show, Braid and Shepherd. That's why I think, Brad though, 271 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: that's a sweet sentiment right in, and we're sorry, okay, 272 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,440 Speaker 1: I don't want to fight them. I think that they 273 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: were set up to lose. These heroes are overpowered. You're 274 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,920 Speaker 1: always this, you always don't want to attack. I think 275 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,119 Speaker 1: that we should just run. We don't stand a chance. 276 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,159 Speaker 1: They've got armor, they've got weaponry, they've got spells. What 277 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: do we have? Are we goblins? Are? Are we goblins? 278 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 1: That's right, we're goblins. I don't think you realize goblins 279 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 1: are basically just fodder. We're gonna turn into the ground beef. Well, 280 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it my best effort. You're you're saying 281 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 1: you're not even gonna I'm gonna give my best effort. 282 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,639 Speaker 1: But even my best effort, I'm surely going did. I 283 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 1: don't take you're a goblin. I think you're a sprite. 284 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 1: What's right? Take that back? Hey, Darren, Um, I'm always 285 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,560 Speaker 1: said you could stay tonight if you want after the game. 286 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,440 Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. I love I love that. Chris, Yeah, yeah, 287 00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: um so your role okay, um wow, Oh, I'm I'm 288 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 1: not really in sure how this game works that well, 289 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: you want me to DM. We should probably decide that 290 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 1: we don't have a dungeon master. That's the problem. I mean, 291 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 1: I could DM. I've done it once or twice. I 292 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: think that be cool, to be honest, I'm just happy 293 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 1: that you guys came over my place. I know it's 294 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 1: not the biggest house on the street, and it's a 295 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: little dangerous here, but I appreciate you guys. Some cheetos. 296 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,919 Speaker 1: Here we go cheetos. My mom pretending like she's a 297 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 1: normal mom. I am a normal mom. She does terrible things. 298 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 1: Is everybody going to be crashing here tonight? Crashing mom? 299 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: We're cool over hill. It's going to be a crash pad. Yeah, no, 300 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 1: it'd be fun. Thanks for Thank you singular Cheeto. What 301 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,399 Speaker 1: are you guys playing D and D? You wouldn't get it? 302 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: Oh no, i'd get it. You're tad and I used 303 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 1: to D and D all the time. My dad died. 304 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: Oh is that a D and D stands for dead? No, 305 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,119 Speaker 1: that's not we have You know what, kid, I have 306 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,200 Speaker 1: a I have a bag of dice that we used 307 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 1: to play with. Is Jared still here? Jared is still here? Yeah, 308 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: he's spending the night. What's wrong with Jared? Why are 309 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,199 Speaker 1: you fighting with me about this in front of your friends? 310 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: For a normal family? Jack it off? He doesn't need 311 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: to take his leaf to jacket off. He looks good. 312 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: It's I want to fight for my second skin for Jared. 313 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,480 Speaker 1: All right, you know what, I'm not going to bring 314 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 1: the dice down, see what I mean? And I'm taking 315 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:27,680 Speaker 1: this cheeto back way to go. We just lost that 316 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: on some sweet dice. Well, good thing, already had one 317 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,600 Speaker 1: in my pocket. Yeah, all right, should we play some 318 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 1: more D and D Dad and Dying? Please? Anything to 319 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 1: get me out of this world? You know what I mean, 320 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 1: what's happening? They're not even rolling. I think we might 321 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 1: actually have a chance this time. I feel bad for 322 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,359 Speaker 1: the sad kid. It's an ogre. We've got an ogre 323 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 1: on our side. The Sad Kids seems to have a 324 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 1: rocky childhood, to say the least, don't they always though 325 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,399 Speaker 1: they're a lot of well adjusted people playing this game. 326 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 1: You mean you're on our team. You're going to kill them, 327 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 1: aren't you? Well? What if we attack that Jared character? 328 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: Jared's not playing. It's he sounds awfully cool, sounds really cool. 329 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: You know, anytime someone wears a leather jacket or smokes 330 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 1: a sagarette, all of a sudden you think they're James Dean. Look, 331 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:29,080 Speaker 1: I'm a big James. I mean three perfect movies and 332 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,199 Speaker 1: he got out. I don't know why you make us 333 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:37,199 Speaker 1: watch East Devite and every Christmas. It's well, you know 334 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: the rules. We can't attack and kill unless they roll 335 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: the right thing. Babe, come back to bed. Okay, Okay, 336 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 1: could you you know, I don't. I'm just I'm wearing 337 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: nothing but my jacket. I know you know what this 338 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: is gonna. I love you and I don't want to 339 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 1: change I don't want to change you. But it's been 340 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: more than one person that has mentioned it's weird that 341 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: you don't take your jacket off. I mean, it's a 342 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: pretty sweet jacket, it really is, but leather, I I 343 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: can tell, but I know it's not the fake stuff. 344 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: I've had the fake stuff, and the fake stuff doesn't 345 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: I mean, you don't sleep in that, that's for goddamn sure. 346 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 1: But maybe tonight let's just sleep completely nude. I mean 347 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: I'm pretty much completely nude pretty much, but not really. 348 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 1: Come on, come touch my birthmark. Listen. I don't want 349 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 1: to play with your birthmark today. Okay, I want, I 350 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: just want to, I don't want. I can make a talk, 351 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 1: can you, Jared? I think that it's it's important that 352 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 1: either you've got to take that check it off sometimes. 353 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: Who's been telling you those nerdy kids in the basement. Well, 354 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 1: one of those nerdy kids is my blood, my son, 355 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,800 Speaker 1: and I take his opinion. But honestly, everybody at work 356 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: has been saying it too, because when you pick me up, 357 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: you're wearing that leather jacket and you're smoking cigarettes and 358 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 1: you I'm out of her, baby, No, no, no no, the 359 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 1: jacker is a deal breaker. Alright. So so what happens 360 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 1: next with a dudgeon master? Yeah? All right, So I'll 361 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: set the adventure up, all right. You guys have your 362 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 1: characters that you want to play. Yeah, yeah, I'm a 363 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 1: fourteenth le paladin. Sweet cool, cool, that's that'll go all 364 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: in this campaign. How about you? Um? I was thinking 365 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 1: of like, I'm like, um, a kid that has a skateboard. 366 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:33,919 Speaker 1: Take this seriously, Chris, I am the level three skater. Okay, 367 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: I'll change it. What's a paladin? It's like a fighter. 368 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 1: I don't have time to explain to you. Guys. Don't leave, please, 369 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 1: don't leave. Look, you could be a cleric, like clergic cleric. 370 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 1: I'll be a great cool alright here, let's roll for 371 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 1: your attributes. Okay, one, okay, have no dexterity, real again, one, 372 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: no charm. Let's roll roll again. Come on, come on, 373 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: come on, come on, double one. Terrible hip points. But 374 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:05,160 Speaker 1: we'll see what happens. I feeling good. I'm feeling good. 375 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 1: All right, So here we go, the forest of slapping shore. 376 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: Here we go, guys, let's get ready, and he looks 377 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: like he's just ready to die. Yeah, don't we need 378 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,919 Speaker 1: to roll ourselves down here? No, we don't get to 379 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:27,640 Speaker 1: control fade. We only roll once they start rolling. I mean, 380 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 1: I want to make sure. I mean I thought there 381 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,200 Speaker 1: were some more rules on this side. We don't follow 382 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 1: rules unless the goblin King tells us to follow those rules. 383 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: I don't believe in the goblin King. I don't believe 384 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 1: in Jared. Don't believe where do you think his crotches 385 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,240 Speaker 1: prominent display for those fants. Don't you see that there's 386 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: a connection. Our goblin king is named Jerreed, and the 387 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,119 Speaker 1: bad guy out there is named Jared. He doesn't sound 388 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 1: like a bad guy to me. It sounds pretty cool. 389 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 1: Sounds really because you're bad goblins or good goblins. Good 390 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 1: goblins are bad. Get out of my face. I always 391 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: heard ogres more dumb, but you're the dumbest. I've got 392 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:15,639 Speaker 1: a heart of sorts. You enter into the clearing, something 393 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: seems off, something seems too calm for this time of year. 394 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 1: I mean, normally there's tons of orcs and ogres and 395 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: goblins wandering these woods. But it's eerily quiet. Kids. I'm sorry, mom, 396 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:35,840 Speaker 1: now jareman laugh, cut down. It's not a good thing. 397 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,280 Speaker 1: I had a good thing. And you know what, I'm 398 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,520 Speaker 1: going out. I'm gonna see if he's I'm gonna see 399 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,479 Speaker 1: he's in this usual bar. Mom. Last time you went out, 400 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 1: you didn't come back for six days. Don't tell that 401 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: I'm cool. Mom, You're not cool. Here's my card if 402 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 1: you need to order pizza, order pizza, but nothing else, 403 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:56,399 Speaker 1: no movies. Okay, okay, Hey, that wasn't cool that you 404 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 1: were looking at my mom's tits the whole time. Well 405 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 1: they were just out. Yeah, but the stare at him up. 406 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,400 Speaker 1: This is a bad time for me. I've never seen 407 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 1: any before. All right, get me back and say that 408 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 1: to me. That's too much to expect of me. Yeah. 409 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 1: The only tips I've seen were on the cable, going 410 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: back and forth on the Playboy channel. It stays up 411 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,399 Speaker 1: for like one second. I told you got to use pennies. 412 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: What if you put if you put if you put 413 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,879 Speaker 1: a penny in each channel where the channel is in 414 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,480 Speaker 1: the volume is on the cable box, you put a 415 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 1: penny there. Finally we get to something you know about. 416 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 1: I really know about about cable porn. Anyway, the copper 417 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: used works as a conductor and you can get the channels. Sweet. Well, 418 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,919 Speaker 1: why don't you go ahead and roll? It's like, can 419 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 1: keep this going forward? Okay, you need a big role here. 420 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: It's gonna be dire. Thanks for sticking around, guys. I 421 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: hold the sort of light above my head. Cool? Cool, cool? 422 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 1: Why don't you take a roll there? Eighteen? Is that good? Nice? 423 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: It's pretty, it's pretty slid. Ten? No, I cannot see 424 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 1: what I'm blinded him. But there's still another. There's still another. 425 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 1: Let's not go for that one guy. He seems really sad. 426 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: I mean, he's the weak point. Why wouldn't we go 427 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,239 Speaker 1: for for the weak point. Well, let's just see how 428 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,160 Speaker 1: this plays out, all right, Why don't you go ahead 429 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: and roll? Chris? Wait, when you roll, I will roll 430 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,480 Speaker 1: counter to what you roll to figure out what it's 431 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 1: really the dice. Please, if there's any kind of good 432 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:38,399 Speaker 1: or god in this world, let this be a good role. One. Okay, 433 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: sorry about this. Chris's suddenly into the clearing jumped a 434 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 1: giant ogre and three goblins without for blood partially blinded 435 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 1: from the Sword of Light, but still ready to attack. 436 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: Why are three goblins working with an ogre? That's unusual. 437 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: It's I'm making this up on the fly, all right. 438 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 1: I don't even think this is a really realized ogre. 439 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 1: Did you see from the rolls? Strike strike by goblin? 440 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: Here we go. Let's do it for Jariff. All right. 441 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 1: Let me go ahead and roll to see how they're 442 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 1: attacks to Okay, one, don't worry, I still have a shot. 443 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: That's right. Let me He'll roll for you now. One. Um, hey, 444 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 1: do you think maybe I can choose to fight one 445 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: of them? In particular? I want to fight the biggest one. 446 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 1: I want to fight the ogre. Sure, Why don't you 447 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:45,840 Speaker 1: go ahead and roll this then? Okay, I'm going right 448 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 1: for the ogre one ship. Guys, this is a one 449 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: sided die. Leave it alone. It's got one in every 450 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 1: part except for the eighteen. Yeah, it's eighteen and one, 451 00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: and then it's one or the other six. I don't care. 452 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 1: It's what I rolled. I want to find him. Okay, 453 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:07,480 Speaker 1: all right, boys, I feel very conflicted about this. Oh 454 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 1: you have to do is mash his bones. All he 455 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:16,440 Speaker 1: summoned me up. He summoned me, summoned me, I mean 456 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,680 Speaker 1: being summon I don't want to hurt this kidding. Oh 457 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: but that's not up to you. It's up to the roll. 458 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: Roll up to the role, up to the role, up 459 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: to the role. Okay, all right, okay, I'm gonna roll 460 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,199 Speaker 1: for you before your roll. Thanks for hanging out with me, guys. Yeah, no, 461 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 1: it's no problem. I mean it's fun. Right, you're a friend. Yeah, 462 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 1: I knew that by back Tenner. Can I get to 463 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: the usual? Yeah? Sure one, Harvey wall Baby coming right up? 464 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:54,480 Speaker 1: Classic drink, Jared's classic drink. That right, Well, there's not 465 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: there's not like a pants required rule in this bar. No, no, no, 466 00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 1: it's pants off Thursdays. All right, well well wow if 467 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:09,080 Speaker 1: it isn't Jared, Yeah, that's right. Remember me eyeball? Uh yeah, 468 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: the guy with one protruding eyeball. That's right. So I 469 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 1: think I gave you that nickname? You did? You did? 470 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 1: You also took my mother jacket from me? What this jacket? Yeah? 471 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 1: That one the coolest other jacket anyone's ever seen. This 472 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: jacket is mind bro. It was mine? But who's wearing 473 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: it now? You are? WHOA? I don't want any trouble 474 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 1: in here. All right, Well, here's your Midori sour. Thank you. 475 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 1: You know that used to be my jacket. Yeah, but 476 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: it's sits Jared who's wearing it now. You are just 477 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: doesn't seem right, doesn't seem right. This is good, this 478 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 1: is I knew i'd find you here, babe, What are 479 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,800 Speaker 1: you doing here? Listen? I made a mistake. I I 480 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: love you just the way you are. You can leave 481 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: your jacket on. Just please come back home with me. Yeah, 482 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 1: I knew you'd become crying. I'm crying. I came in. 483 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,960 Speaker 1: I'm crying by the way. That used to be my jacket, 484 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 1: That used to be your jacket. Yeah, it didn't fit 485 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: me as well, but then he pulled it off of 486 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:14,160 Speaker 1: me and now it's his. Really. Yeah. Look, I just 487 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: gotta finish my Harvard Wallbanger and then we're out of here. Okay, 488 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 1: you am me. Yeah, I'm gonna get into the h 489 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 1: W for the lady here. You bet we'll wait. Let 490 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:32,440 Speaker 1: me roll for it. One. You can have one, okay, 491 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 1: the roles coming up again. I feel conflicted that I 492 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,880 Speaker 1: made that clear, really bad. A lot of suspense up here. 493 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,760 Speaker 1: I mean, this has been a long time for no battle. Well, 494 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,959 Speaker 1: we're about the battle. I fear this will be the 495 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 1: biggest battle yet. I think you should just clap his 496 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 1: head and have his brains fly out out the sides 497 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 1: of your palms. Yes, brain clap, clap. Well it's up 498 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 1: to the role. Okay, what is it here? We go 499 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 1: to one one one eighteen one for Wait, the ogre 500 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,560 Speaker 1: has an eighteen against my one. Yeah, I guess the 501 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: ogar kills you, but not yet. I still at the 502 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 1: put up a fight, don't I? Alright, fellas, I'm going up. 503 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:37,479 Speaker 1: Wish me luck? Good luck? What the hell? Where did 504 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:41,200 Speaker 1: you come first? This always happened? I knows what's going on? 505 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 1: Brain clap? Oh? Do you think you can brain crap? 506 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 1: You think you can brain crap? The goblin king? Oh? 507 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 1: I knew it. Yes, I've been disguised on earth as 508 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:05,200 Speaker 1: a dune the headed leather jacket, wearing an idiot named Jared. 509 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,880 Speaker 1: And what a good disguise that one? Yes, Master, a 510 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: great dis guy. What's going on over? What is happening? Kid? 511 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 1: Look at me? I'm gonna take care of this situation. No, 512 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 1: I rolled the one, and I want to fight you. 513 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 1: You fought enough battles. What do you mean a boy 514 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 1: your rage? You'd have to go through all the things 515 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:37,480 Speaker 1: he's been through. So you sit this one out. Hey, 516 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: someone's trying so hard for a heart warming ending the 517 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: day after Christmas. Hey, crash you you craped my brain. 518 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: You craped my brain. I'll say it one more time. 519 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 1: You crapped my brain. And now he's dead. A height, 520 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 1: little fellas. I'll be learning a lesson tonight. Did I 521 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 1: learned a lesson? I mean, we can be heroes, just 522 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 1: for one day. You can be heroes kids. Great news, 523 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,240 Speaker 1: Great news, Jared and Higher back together? Oh my god? 524 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 1: What's all the blood of the floor. Mom? It's okay, Mom, 525 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 1: it's okay. What do you mean? He wasn't really Jerry. 526 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: He was a goblin king all along, and his brain up, 527 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,560 Speaker 1: brain crept. Oh no. And what that looked like here 528 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 1: in the garage was that I hit him with the shovel. 529 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I had to fight my own battles. Mom, 530 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 1: think this is happening at all? An eighteen? I think 531 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 1: it's happy mom. Your mom something she reminds me of 532 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,920 Speaker 1: the babe. So do we feel like we won that 533 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 1: one night? I don't know let's just go home. And 534 00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: that's the second see yep C three final scenes in 535 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:10,640 Speaker 1: the afternoon Christmas pace. I'll skip the intro dive right 536 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: in because times money right in a Chris voice. I 537 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: didn't read that a Chris voice say times money. I 538 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:19,279 Speaker 1: don't know Times money. That's Chris. A country where not 539 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,360 Speaker 1: picking up a phone call is prosecuted. This inspires a 540 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,680 Speaker 1: lot of services that pick calls for you, and that 541 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 1: makes people's lives become one huge game of telephone. Love 542 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,880 Speaker 1: you all and say high for me. To the poor 543 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:40,440 Speaker 1: patches from the Tug and Nuts scene, Phil, don't answer 544 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 1: that it's too late. I picked it up? Should I do? 545 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 1: I can't hang up now? You can be prosecuted for that, 546 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:47,840 Speaker 1: for picking it up. I thought it was the opposite. 547 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 1: Oh wait, oh my god, wait, explain the rules to 548 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 1: me one more time. I believe that the law that 549 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,239 Speaker 1: just passed yes, was that you have to answer your 550 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:58,359 Speaker 1: phone at all costs. Rings that's the case. You thought 551 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,360 Speaker 1: it was the opposite, Yeah, But because I don't just 552 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 1: I was just I just scrolled on my phone something 553 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 1: quickly was crazy because I could be going to jail now, 554 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:14,280 Speaker 1: not hang it up? Answer Hello, Hello, Hello, just checking 555 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,600 Speaker 1: to make sure you answered this. Yeah, I answered. Is 556 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 1: this an appropriate response to the phone call? Yes? This 557 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,680 Speaker 1: is I just had to make sure you answered. You've 558 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 1: avoid prosecution, thank you this time. So what do you say? 559 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 1: It's it was correct? It was a good thing I 560 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,160 Speaker 1: answered it. Have you missed a call today? Oh? Shoot, 561 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,919 Speaker 1: I'm afraid to look. Have you just not been answering phones? 562 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 1: Because if you were thinking that the law was that 563 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,440 Speaker 1: you don't answer phones, then you, my friend, are fucked. Alright, 564 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,400 Speaker 1: he's got one misscall. But we're surrounding the house. Okay, 565 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 1: I'm ready to go. You guys ready, Yeah, I think 566 00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 1: we should just shoot from here. Just load the place 567 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 1: up with bullets. Shoot to kill, shoot to kill, right now? 568 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:58,120 Speaker 1: What kind of man? All that's right, there's a law. 569 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 1: This guy he's sick. He is sick, all right, and 570 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,840 Speaker 1: that means he's unpredictable. Anything. Didn't you do anything? I 571 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,720 Speaker 1: don't want to lose any of you guys on my watch, 572 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 1: all right, So caution, use caution. Oh my god, there 573 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,359 Speaker 1: are people outside, and swap get away from the window. 574 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,120 Speaker 1: Get awa from the get away the window. Listen, you 575 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,359 Speaker 1: should go out there. They're clearly here for you. I 576 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,839 Speaker 1: just was told I'm fine, okay, but what if I 577 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: called the miscall back? Surely that's that's some good points. 578 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 1: Didn't give it a shot. But otherwise, I don't want 579 00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:30,680 Speaker 1: you staying in my home putting me at upstairs. Man, 580 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,400 Speaker 1: I'm a father. We were college buddies. Yeah, and then 581 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, just like that, you throw me 582 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,279 Speaker 1: out to the wolves. I don't want trouble, and you 583 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 1: showed your true colors. I showed my true colors. I 584 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 1: have a law abiding citizen. So am I. I just 585 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 1: got the law. Whatever happens this, you and I were 586 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:48,399 Speaker 1: not as great as we used to be. Okay, here 587 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:54,880 Speaker 1: we go, bring bring, bring hello, um high, um, I 588 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,839 Speaker 1: missed the call. Give it up, Come out willingly. Leave 589 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,680 Speaker 1: Kyle there. Don't you dare take him hostage? Okay? Um, 590 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I just it was a miss. I've I'm okay, right, 591 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be okay. You're fucked in the head. He 592 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:12,960 Speaker 1: called you back. Huh got a damn nerve sick motherfucker 593 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 1: Like that's gonna make everything right? No, kid, So if 594 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 1: I step out willingly with my hands up, will I 595 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,839 Speaker 1: be okay? We'll shoot you a lot, shoot me a lot, 596 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,439 Speaker 1: a lot. We'll shoot you alive a lot. Okay, then 597 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:33,399 Speaker 1: I uh, I'll be out on one second. That didn't 598 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,360 Speaker 1: sound like it went very well, Carl. I'm not leaving. 599 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,640 Speaker 1: What do you mean You're not leaving you and your 600 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,279 Speaker 1: family at risk? Oh no, no, no, no, no no no. 601 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,359 Speaker 1: My kids are asleep upstairs, and I will wake them 602 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,000 Speaker 1: up and use them as a human shield. Don't go upstairs. 603 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,319 Speaker 1: You come back over, okay, but listen, and you are 604 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: you have? You're doing well? Right? You answered the phone. 605 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,640 Speaker 1: Maybe you can talk to them for me. My kids 606 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,799 Speaker 1: know the guys, I'm killing that motherfucker no matter what. 607 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 1: I don't care if he's holding babies. I don't care 608 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 1: if he's holding squawks by the way, speaking squawks. I 609 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 1: mentioned it. I had a great Hey, everybody, it's me. 610 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 1: I'm Carl. I live in this place. Okay, this is 611 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,880 Speaker 1: a good start, Carl. I swear to God, I swear 612 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,560 Speaker 1: to God. Listen, I got two kids upstairs, I answered, 613 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:23,640 Speaker 1: We've all got kids, got kids. I'm just saying, maybe 614 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,640 Speaker 1: if one of you guys wears my clothes inside of 615 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,080 Speaker 1: the building and pretends to be me, you could probably 616 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,440 Speaker 1: just you know, deal without without my kids have theen 617 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 1: to get shot over this. Are your clothes that distinctive? 618 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,759 Speaker 1: I mean it's plaid of vest and denim jeans. It's 619 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 1: pretty unique. Yeah, but that long hair kind of is 620 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,479 Speaker 1: hard to deplicate. I'll cut it. I'll cut it, and 621 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,080 Speaker 1: we can tape it. We can tape it onto the 622 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 1: back of anybody that's my same height. Well, Spike is 623 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,839 Speaker 1: usually one who goes into cover. It's up to Spike. Yeah, 624 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,040 Speaker 1: I'll do it. I'll put on your kids and his hair. 625 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,839 Speaker 1: I'll put on your clothes in your hair. Alright, Bike, 626 00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 1: if you do this, don't go too deep. No last time, Yeah, 627 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,919 Speaker 1: I remember what happened last What do you mean too deep? 628 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,399 Speaker 1: He's not going to take over my life, right, He's 629 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,920 Speaker 1: been known to do something like that when I go 630 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: and I go all the way. Well, maybe one of 631 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 1: you guys should do it then instead. I'm the undercover guy. 632 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,280 Speaker 1: He's he's he's the you see listen, I love my kids, 633 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,560 Speaker 1: I've really loved my life. I'm pretty successful. Give me 634 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 1: a brief film about your kids. Brian is the son, 635 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,680 Speaker 1: Jenny is the daughter. Brian's the older, protective over where 636 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:30,600 Speaker 1: there's a Ryan and a Brian. No no, no, no no, no. 637 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:34,719 Speaker 1: Brian is my son. Jenny is my daughter, two kids, 638 00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:40,600 Speaker 1: two kids. My wife is not there. Her name is Brenda. Hey, Brian, 639 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:45,759 Speaker 1: wake up? But what's up? Hey? What's up? Um? Your 640 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,239 Speaker 1: dad wants to I want you to come downstairs and 641 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:52,120 Speaker 1: have a pizza party. I just woke up. Come on, Ryan, 642 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,759 Speaker 1: got got your pizza, just like uh, just like you 643 00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,799 Speaker 1: always wanted. Ryan. By the way, thanks for kind of 644 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,040 Speaker 1: like changing your tune. Earlier you wanted to kill me, 645 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,360 Speaker 1: and now you want to have a pizza party. And 646 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,520 Speaker 1: that makes me feel good because you answered the call. 647 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,319 Speaker 1: I didn't. But we're still good people. I mean we 648 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: are who we are and who I've always been im. 649 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,239 Speaker 1: And look at my vest, my long hair. Yeah, dad, 650 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,400 Speaker 1: what's on what's on the pizzas? Oh? Yeah, what's on 651 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:20,759 Speaker 1: the pizzas? Just the stuff? Do you like? Uh? You know, 652 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,080 Speaker 1: green pepper and pineapple? And I thought you had an analogy. 653 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:31,880 Speaker 1: I'm allegit to peppers and pineapple, pine nuts. It's kind 654 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,919 Speaker 1: of a fancy pizza. Okay, so sounds good, right, right dad? 655 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,680 Speaker 1: You should know my pizza are better. That's right, that's right. 656 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 1: And just straight up pepperoni. Right, right, that's that's me. 657 00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,520 Speaker 1: Just follow along with me. Sounds good, sounds good. Where's 658 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:50,640 Speaker 1: your older sister, Jenny younger? Right's right, that's right younger. 659 00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,320 Speaker 1: Well obvious, I've imagine she's asleep in her room. Yeah, 660 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 1: when'd you go check on her? Yeah, I'll go wake 661 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:00,640 Speaker 1: her up. Brandon, I don't think that's your dad. No ship, 662 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,320 Speaker 1: sugar lack. I'm not sure that hair is tight taped 663 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,880 Speaker 1: onto his head. Wait what you can see the taping? 664 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,600 Speaker 1: I couldn't see ship. It's not convincing at all. Listen 665 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,759 Speaker 1: your life and danger. No ship, I figured that much out, 666 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:18,120 Speaker 1: all right, Jennie, what are you coming into the room 667 00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:23,920 Speaker 1: where I'm sleeping. Hey, Gingen, it's it's your dad. I've 668 00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: never heard you call me Gingen. Wait, hold my hair 669 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,719 Speaker 1: for a second. Is this your hair? My hair? For all? 670 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:34,399 Speaker 1: I fell off? Hey? You want a pizza party, Kiddoh? Yeah, 671 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:38,799 Speaker 1: I love pizza pop pop? Okay, we got a when 672 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:43,520 Speaker 1: we got a gluten free? What? What's gluten free? Oh? 673 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 1: We got bad news for you. What he's not doing 674 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,239 Speaker 1: great on the inside. To blow that whole fucking place. No, 675 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 1: my kids are in there. Yeah, but so was the 676 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:54,320 Speaker 1: guy who didn't answer the calls. Guys, we've got another 677 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,040 Speaker 1: guy inside. What who's the other guy? We pulled your daughter, 678 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:03,640 Speaker 1: Jennie out. She's right here, thank god. Oh I love you. 679 00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:09,560 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Is Brian? Okay? Come on, Jenny, 680 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,080 Speaker 1: Come on, Jenny, give your dad a hug. Okay, big huh. 681 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 1: Oh you're crushing me, Jenny while you're doing this to 682 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,600 Speaker 1: your dad. Wait, hold on, So we sent in another 683 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,640 Speaker 1: guy to hurt our guy. Well, we had that guy 684 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,520 Speaker 1: in before. We said the other guy in and he's 685 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,880 Speaker 1: even more method than he is. So and this is 686 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,719 Speaker 1: all just to clarify. This is all to get the 687 00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:35,279 Speaker 1: guy who didn'tser the case right. That's right, because right 688 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,759 Speaker 1: now I think he's about to eat some pizza and 689 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 1: just chill. That's six so far. My my real family 690 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: is safe. Safe for your son. We don't know what 691 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:45,799 Speaker 1: if we sent in somebody that dressed up to look 692 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 1: like my wife. We're running out of guys. Yeah, I 693 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,439 Speaker 1: don't know what I'm saying. Somebody's gotta limited amount of body. 694 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,360 Speaker 1: I just gotta get my son out of there. I 695 00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,359 Speaker 1: don't care about me, I guess I'll go, but I mean, 696 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,880 Speaker 1: hold on, hold on. He got a full beard. No, 697 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: but you've got good cheekbones. Those are nice cheekbones. But 698 00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,120 Speaker 1: my wife does not have any beer. I happen to 699 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,319 Speaker 1: have a dress. Hey, guys, I'm I'm a little late 700 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:13,680 Speaker 1: to the party. What what am I? What am I missing? 701 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,279 Speaker 1: Bring me up to up to speed? You got it? 702 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,520 Speaker 1: I called you, guys. You didn't pick up so well, 703 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:25,799 Speaker 1: that's because we're on the on the job. Everybody. Let 704 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:27,919 Speaker 1: me and my daughter just walked out of here. One 705 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: of my guns is pointed right daughter. I'm just how 706 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:31,880 Speaker 1: do we know you're who you say you were? And 707 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,839 Speaker 1: you're not one of us? But I mean you could 708 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,360 Speaker 1: be one of us. Undercover ship. All of our phones 709 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:42,520 Speaker 1: are ringing. If you go for this phone, I'm gonna 710 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,400 Speaker 1: plug you. I have to go for the phone. You 711 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,560 Speaker 1: have to answer the phone. We have to answer the phone. 712 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,560 Speaker 1: We're gonna be criminals. All let's drop the guns on three. 713 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:53,120 Speaker 1: Answer the phones one to three? Do you have to Hello? 714 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,600 Speaker 1: I'm Charlie Sheen and this is a group phone call. 715 00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:02,520 Speaker 1: I find that I've got a lot better sales call. 716 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:08,520 Speaker 1: All right, I got time for no snow gloves. How 717 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:16,400 Speaker 1: do we end this? Well? I think that maybe all right, 718 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:21,040 Speaker 1: he's dead? Are you dead? Are you you were hit? 719 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:27,160 Speaker 1: You're okay, you're still alive. I'm still alive. Guys. Screamed 720 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:31,400 Speaker 1: because you were shocked, right, because I was shocked. I 721 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 1: was shocked, honestly at what happened. Freeze guys. That's right. 722 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,879 Speaker 1: I've been making all the calls. What the calls were 723 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:48,200 Speaker 1: coming from? That's right? Alright, kid, what do you want? 724 00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:54,160 Speaker 1: I want a chapper. I want six million pizzas. I 725 00:44:54,200 --> 00:45:00,160 Speaker 1: want Tony Hawk to He didn't scream that time you 726 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:07,960 Speaker 1: killed the kid? Yeah, you didn't scream. I wasn't shy. Hello, Hi, 727 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,520 Speaker 1: I'm coming out with my hands up. I'm the person 728 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,000 Speaker 1: who didn't answer the phone earlier. Jesus Christ. There's so 729 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,560 Speaker 1: much blood. Yeah, I guess we should be arresting you, 730 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,319 Speaker 1: but so much ship has gone down since then. Look, 731 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,279 Speaker 1: next time, answer your call. Okay, hold on, I'm getting 732 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,959 Speaker 1: a notification though. Oh it's a news update. It says 733 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,960 Speaker 1: that the new law is don't answer the phone, and 734 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,120 Speaker 1: it was a confusing law. That makes sense. What do 735 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,440 Speaker 1: we do with all this? Uh? Do you clean this up? 736 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,200 Speaker 1: Or do I click we have a crew that comes 737 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,719 Speaker 1: in and clean it up. What does that pay? It 738 00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,600 Speaker 1: pays pretty well, actually eighteen an hour. That's good benefits, 739 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:45,920 Speaker 1: I assume. Yeah. Nice, Yeah, what's your number. I'll have 740 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,319 Speaker 1: them give you a call. I can't believe we got 741 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:54,480 Speaker 1: to clean up this bullshit. But the pay's already pretty good. Yeah, 742 00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,200 Speaker 1: I got it. I don't know. I think an honest 743 00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:02,040 Speaker 1: day's work is admirable. Frankly, you just oversee us doing 744 00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,319 Speaker 1: the work well, I mean, speaking of which, get back 745 00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,640 Speaker 1: to it, get back to no looking to the blood, 746 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,839 Speaker 1: no looking to the blood. This is work. But I 747 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,160 Speaker 1: think the thing is that it's some of Elia Kazan's 748 00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:19,319 Speaker 1: best work. Oh, stop talking about gave Da. I mean, 749 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:23,800 Speaker 1: clearly a face in the crowd is its best Philow granted, granted, 750 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,600 Speaker 1: go ahead of its die are watching every Goblin's eve. 751 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,960 Speaker 1: And so what happened that day was? I mean, you're 752 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,759 Speaker 1: getting married today, So I wanted to tell you the 753 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,879 Speaker 1: real story of how your dad and brother died. And 754 00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,920 Speaker 1: that's that's what went down. I missed a call, and 755 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:40,200 Speaker 1: but look at you now, you're getting married, and I'm 756 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:43,600 Speaker 1: happy to be walking out my makeup run. I'm just crying. 757 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,600 Speaker 1: Now this is supposed to be thank you for telling 758 00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,520 Speaker 1: me the truth, But I just never heard about what 759 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:53,439 Speaker 1: happened to my mom. Oh yeah, I just I don't 760 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,799 Speaker 1: even know how she was involved. She wasn't there. Yeah, 761 00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:03,520 Speaker 1: I lived with you, another Harvey wallbanger. Miss. Yeah, yeah 762 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:08,160 Speaker 1: you look down. Oh yeah, I'm pretty down. I left 763 00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:12,080 Speaker 1: my husband and kids from leather jacket wearing guy and 764 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:18,200 Speaker 1: his head got popped. Does that make sense? That's very crazier. 765 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,640 Speaker 1: That doesn't surprise me. This is a crazy bar. Well, 766 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,600 Speaker 1: this one's out in the house, all right. I just 767 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:27,279 Speaker 1: think your mom is like an angel wherever she is. 768 00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:32,600 Speaker 1: Oh that's really sweet of you. Now, um, I'll be 769 00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:37,200 Speaker 1: happy to walk you down the aisle. I don't know, okay, yeah, listen, hey, 770 00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:39,279 Speaker 1: I protected to your your entire life. But it sounds 771 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:43,080 Speaker 1: like you killed my You killed my father, not directly, 772 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:49,239 Speaker 1: not directly. You you it was your fault in a way, 773 00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:52,000 Speaker 1: in a way. But hey, they know it's bad luck 774 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:55,240 Speaker 1: to see bright before ceremony. But oh, Jenny, you look, 775 00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:59,040 Speaker 1: you look, you look, you're practically glowing. Oh stop, don't 776 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,200 Speaker 1: don't look at here. It's that luck. Oh hey, look, 777 00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:05,319 Speaker 1: look I'm doing the doggie. Uh filter on you you 778 00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:13,840 Speaker 1: do smile at that look like dog. You look so excited, 779 00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:18,680 Speaker 1: You're just glowing. Yes, yes, I don't have long baby, 780 00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:22,920 Speaker 1: so maybe yes, the half life is by the way 781 00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:28,040 Speaker 1: I can see through your dress. Nice work, very good, 782 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:38,279 Speaker 1: very good prost roast and that's our show. Thank you 783 00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:43,359 Speaker 1: guys for listening on your post Christmas holiday. Let's see 784 00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:47,040 Speaker 1: what everybody's up to. Chris Alvarado, everybody, I'm always doing 785 00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,560 Speaker 1: shows and doing stuff at the West Side Comedy Theater. Also, 786 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:54,440 Speaker 1: we will be at the San Francisco Sketch Festival in January. 787 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,280 Speaker 1: Check that out. Please follow me it at Chris Elparado. Yeah, 788 00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,960 Speaker 1: Craig kick As, Yeah, definitely comes to Alchemy this it's 789 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,359 Speaker 1: catch fest. Also be there with the Thrilling Adventure our 790 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:07,719 Speaker 1: having a little reunion showing that James. I just love 791 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,320 Speaker 1: the tradition that I'm having of reading my favorite reviews 792 00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:12,040 Speaker 1: and these ones are all nice and short, just to 793 00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,319 Speaker 1: show that you could do it too. Here's one from 794 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:18,040 Speaker 1: Bianca Sierra. This show is absolute best. I wish everyone 795 00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:21,080 Speaker 1: knew about it. That's pretty good. And then, last but 796 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:24,640 Speaker 1: not least, today Funny Good Vibes Podcast I'm more than 797 00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:30,879 Speaker 1: happy that I found this podcast. Happy customer. You can 798 00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:35,160 Speaker 1: find me reading the Apple podcast reviews, so go ahead 799 00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:37,360 Speaker 1: and do that. Look for me. There should be your 800 00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:41,279 Speaker 1: new video series. Actually, my, that's pretty funny. Do the 801 00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,440 Speaker 1: review reading. I did check in and that one that 802 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,960 Speaker 1: I had mentioned before has not been corrected. Um oh 803 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,960 Speaker 1: the one that was four stars. I said, it's like 804 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:54,440 Speaker 1: the best podcast ever four stars. I thought maybe that 805 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:59,000 Speaker 1: person would here, maybe that maybe that has an aired yet. Yeah, yeah, Cole, 806 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,080 Speaker 1: Where can we find you? You can find me at 807 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,479 Speaker 1: Stratton Cole or at Cole Stratton, depending on the social 808 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,479 Speaker 1: media service. You can find me a Westside comedy theater 809 00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,359 Speaker 1: with Pretty Pretty Pony the first Thursday of the month 810 00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,359 Speaker 1: at ten pm, along with several of these people in 811 00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,520 Speaker 1: this room. You can find me an SF sketch Fest, 812 00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,640 Speaker 1: which I co founded and I met for three weeks 813 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:18,120 Speaker 1: in January. Come see Alchemy this there, comes see Tilling 814 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:20,640 Speaker 1: a Venture our Come see Pretty Pretty Pony. No they're 815 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,719 Speaker 1: not there. Uh. Come see theme Park, which is my 816 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,560 Speaker 1: touring and prov group that has a lot of awesome 817 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,000 Speaker 1: heavy hitters in it. Um, thank you guys for listening. 818 00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:30,719 Speaker 1: Let's thank our engineer Doug bab Our, post sound design 819 00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:40,000 Speaker 1: artist Raphael Brito, and lastly, I Heart Media Don't Don't. 820 00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:45,080 Speaker 1: We encourage everyone to write a review, tell everyone you've 821 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,120 Speaker 1: ever met, and write to us at your name here 822 00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,759 Speaker 1: at alchemy this dot com. That's your name here at 823 00:50:50,840 --> 00:51:00,759 Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. Until next time, Alchemy and go 824 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:27,800 Speaker 1: and a football fell and a football