Speaker 1: Second date update. We got an email for a second
Speaker 1: date update from one of our listeners named Gabe, who
Speaker 1: says he brought along some friends on his first date.
Speaker 1: Apparently Gabe did not get a kiss, but one of
Speaker 1: his friends did his date. I'm not sure, but all
Speaker 1: I know is now he wants our help. So Gabe,
Speaker 1: what's up man? Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: Hey, happy to be on. Thanks for taking a call.
Speaker 3: You are a chipper man, I try to be Okay, Okay.
Speaker 1: We'll get into the details every date in just a
Speaker 1: second here, but first, tell us a little bit about
Speaker 1: the woman that you went out with. What's her name?
Speaker 1: Where'd you meet her? What's her net worth? Give us
Speaker 1: give us a rundown.
Speaker 2: Her name is Noel, a very very pretty blonde girl.
Speaker 2: We met on a dating app and we met up
Speaker 2: to this really great pizzeria in town.
Speaker 4: I was hoping he was going to give her net worth.
Speaker 2: But she wouldn't tell.
Speaker 1: Okay, stubborn.
Speaker 2: So we got some Hawaiian pizza.
Speaker 4: Oh controversial that you both like Hawaiian.
Speaker 2: You don't find that many people out there who like it.
Speaker 4: So I was like, I know, real pizza, No it is.
Speaker 1: I love it too, you're not getting into this discussion
Speaker 1: during this second day pizza. No, we're not. We're not
Speaker 1: doing it. Let's just focus on your date, Gabe. Okay,
Speaker 1: tell us more about the horrible pizza that you guys share.
Speaker 2: We had a bunch of that delicious pizza, and you know,
Speaker 2: like you said, I did bring out my friends. You know,
Speaker 2: it's said specifically in my profile that this is who
Speaker 2: I am, what I'm about.
Speaker 4: Wait, what do you mean? You're about Hawaiian pizza with friends?
Speaker 2: So I am a professional amateur impersonator.
Speaker 4: Professional amateur also got me lost? That was on your profile.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and you match.
Speaker 1: So your your friends aren't actual people, they're puppets.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is correct, yes, bar I see are you
Speaker 3: you're like a ventriloquist or something too, Like you make
Speaker 3: the puppets talk.
Speaker 2: Not so much ventrillo quid as it is just like
Speaker 2: a performance. Like sometimes I'm behind like a fake rock
Speaker 2: or something, or I'm inside a really uncomfortable couch and
Speaker 2: I do muppet voices and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm just trying to picture this now. So
Speaker 1: you're in a pizzeria with your your muppet friends now
Speaker 1: joining you at the table say you say you do
Speaker 1: the voices too? Oh yeah, yeah, can you give me
Speaker 1: like a sample of how that date would go?
Speaker 2: So naturally I brought out Kermit the Frog first. That's
Speaker 2: how you break the ice. Though it was, hey, how
Speaker 2: are you doing? Are you enjoying the date? I see
Speaker 2: you're not eating as many as of the pineapple as
Speaker 2: he is. Okay, you know he was trying to gasp
Speaker 2: me up a little bit, but.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay's cute. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't think of Kermit as like a typical like
Speaker 1: charmer of women, though he seems kind of shye.
Speaker 4: No, I think Hermie smooth.
Speaker 2: That's the thing, you know, no one's expecting Kermit. Everyone
Speaker 2: wants you to go with fazzier animal or someone crazy,
Speaker 2: But bring Kermit when you want to show a little heart.
Speaker 4: How did she react to Kermit?
Speaker 2: She was laughing, she was having a good time. Then
Speaker 2: naturally I brought out Miss Piggy so that there could
Speaker 2: be a bit of a back and forth. You know,
Speaker 2: we had a double date for a little while.
Speaker 4: And how did Miss Piggy sound?
Speaker 2: Kurmy, I think he's doing exceptionally well on this state
Speaker 2: To bother them, they're doing their own thing.
Speaker 5: Cant it rock?
Speaker 4: I think that's a I love it.
Speaker 2: You're just good enough And I could totally tell which
Speaker 2: one you're doing.
Speaker 4: So you're sitting at the table, do you have muppets? Like,
Speaker 4: do you have the actual dolls with you? Or is
Speaker 4: this just voices?
Speaker 2: I have two bags worth, So it looked a little
Speaker 2: weird because I just had two Duffel bags with me. Wow,
Speaker 2: But it seemed like the whole restaurant was actually having
Speaker 2: a good time along with it, because more often than not,
Speaker 2: when you bust out two muppets, people are gonna take notes.
Speaker 2: So yeah, no, I mean the thing.
Speaker 4: Is if she was laughing through it, women love humor.
Speaker 4: But how long did it go for?
Speaker 2: I was wondering, not too Yeah, this is like forty
Speaker 2: five to fifteen in it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, an intermission where she got to go to the
Speaker 1: bathroom and then come back.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I did say, you know, I went to the
Speaker 2: bathroom once and I was like, hey, if you're just
Speaker 2: gonna like leave right now, I totally get it, no stress.
Speaker 2: But well and behold, she was still there when I
Speaker 2: came back.
Speaker 5: To walk out.
Speaker 1: They did did you ever get to know anything about Noel?
Speaker 2: Yeah? She she's in the pharmaceutical I guess that's that's
Speaker 2: what she's doing.
Speaker 1: Well, that's aching them.
Speaker 4: It sounds like she's a drug addict.
Speaker 2: She steals all the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, Gabe. Normally I would ask our listeners
Speaker 1: if there was any awkward moments that happened during the date.
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't need to ask. The whole
Speaker 1: day was.
Speaker 2: There was one funny moment when Kermit and Miss Piggy
Speaker 2: started arguing over the pizza. You know, it got heated.
Speaker 3: Let me get miss Piggy not a fan of pineapple
Speaker 3: on pizza, is what you're saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Miss Piggy was not having the Canadian bacon. She
Speaker 2: got midway through with Splice just.
Speaker 5: Went wait, what's on this frog?
Speaker 2: Like naturally, Kermit did.
Speaker 1: I could see that throwing a wrench in your date.
Speaker 1: For sure. You said though, that one of your friends
Speaker 1: got a kiss.
Speaker 2: So admittedly I kind of went for a kiss. I
Speaker 2: may have been a little quick to the shot because
Speaker 2: I had a Kermit on me still, and she instead,
Speaker 2: you know, went to go kiss Kermit, which I get it.
Speaker 2: I get it, that's how it goes sometimes.
Speaker 1: But I'm sure Miss Piggy didn't feel good about that either.
Speaker 2: It was one heck of a car ride home.
Speaker 1: I'll say, two women upset at you after your date. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm imaginings are moving on.
Speaker 3: Their So.
Speaker 1: How long has it been gave since you and Noel
Speaker 1: last spoke.
Speaker 2: It's been like a week week and a half. You know.
Speaker 2: We said we were gonna set up like a brunch
Speaker 2: or something afterwards. Like she seemed really into the idea.
Speaker 2: I texted her a bunch of times, but I still
Speaker 2: haven't heard anything back. I just kind of.
Speaker 3: Tell her that the puppets wouldn't come on the second
Speaker 3: date I did.
Speaker 2: I said, maybe it's mostly just Gabe this time.
Speaker 1: Okay, we have a lot to work with here, Kermit,
Speaker 1: what do you think we should do in this situation?
Speaker 1: I think we should perhaps play a song really quick
Speaker 1: and then come back and call Noel and try and
Speaker 1: get your second date update. That's what Kermit does, right.
Speaker 5: That was great.
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll come back and we'll call them well for
Speaker 1: a second date update right after this update. If you're
Speaker 1: just joining us, one of our listeners, Gabe went out
Speaker 1: for pizza with a woman named Noel recently, and they
Speaker 1: were joined by some of his friends. Kermit and Miss
Speaker 1: Piggy because Gabe is a quote professional amateur puppets here
Speaker 1: actually yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we've already got over that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 4: It's an issue.
Speaker 1: He actually brought along some of his muppets with him
Speaker 1: and basically put on a show at the pizzeria. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we heard a lot about what the puppets said
Speaker 1: and did and eight. But Gabe, we never talked about
Speaker 1: alcohol on the date. Was Kermit getting turned.
Speaker 2: Maybe not Kermit, but Gabe was for sure.
Speaker 4: Okay, drink iced tea.
Speaker 1: Yeah that makes sense.
Speaker 3: I mean names the thing is, Gabe, do you have
Speaker 3: any regrets about your Muppet show?
Speaker 4: I mean it went on forty five minutes long.
Speaker 2: No, absolutely not.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: I like that. A man that stands behind its people,
Speaker 4: that's confidence.
Speaker 1: Yeah, women respond to that. So it's been a week
Speaker 1: and Noel is still not calling you back. On a
Speaker 1: scale of one to one hundred percent, what are the
Speaker 1: chances that the reason she isn't calling you is because
Speaker 1: of the puppets.
Speaker 2: That's a good question. I'm gonna say fifty.
Speaker 4: Fifty to fifty. Okay, choice pretty good.
Speaker 2: I can see that someone's either gonna be oh, that's
Speaker 2: so funny and cute?
Speaker 1: Are they're going to be like, dude, it's a date.
Speaker 2: I wasn't feeling that there's no one between Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: Okay, well let's find out which fifty percent it lies on.
Speaker 1: We're going to dial Noel's number right now. We're going
Speaker 1: to get your second date update.
Speaker 5: Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: You know at the end of the day it was
Speaker 2: on my profile, she knew what she was getting into.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no regrets, all rights, That's what Kermie would say.
Speaker 1: The number right now here we go. Hello, Hi is
Speaker 1: this Noel? Yes, hey, Noel. My name is jeff from
Speaker 1: the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. How
Speaker 1: are you doing? Who is this from a morning radio show?
Speaker 1: It's called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: thank you, Thanks for listening, or at least knowing someone
Speaker 1: that else someone else. Let's listen.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wouldn't know what you want.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I'll just get right to it.
Speaker 6: Then.
Speaker 1: This is a segment that we do call the second
Speaker 1: Date Update. That's where if you go out with one
Speaker 1: of our listeners and afterwards, if you're not calling them back,
Speaker 1: they reach out to us to call you. So we
Speaker 1: can help them figure out the reason why. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: well again, my name is Jeff like the namesake Brooke
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey.
Speaker 6: I'm jeff you are, but who was the guy?
Speaker 3: Because Jeffrey, you're making Jeffrey so nervous for some reason.
Speaker 6: As awesome, I mean.
Speaker 5: It's a lot of you guys talking. I try to
Speaker 5: get to the point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, sorry, I don't want to waste your time here.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: The listener that.
Speaker 6: We're calling working.
Speaker 1: The listener's name is Gabe. Do you remember going out
Speaker 1: with Gabe?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: He actually called you guys.
Speaker 5: Did because Gabe, it makes sense he would do something
Speaker 5: like that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, what you mean, because he must have too much
Speaker 6: time on his hands?
Speaker 5: Makes sense?
Speaker 3: Can I just ask because he said that you guys
Speaker 3: met on a dating app. When you saw on the
Speaker 3: dating app that he was a professional amateur puppeteer, what
Speaker 3: were you thinking?
Speaker 5: I was fine with it. So I'm into theater, Okay,
Speaker 5: I like you colectic out.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you're kind of excited about the date.
Speaker 5: Then, yeah, but he took it too far?
Speaker 1: Which which part of it went too far?
Speaker 6: Is the whole thing from beginning to aid?
Speaker 1: Oh, so you're talking about the pizza. The pizza was
Speaker 1: way over the line.
Speaker 6: No, dummy, that's fine. I don't care about the pizza.
Speaker 5: About the puppet.
Speaker 3: Can you describe the date from your perspective, because the
Speaker 3: way he describes.
Speaker 4: It, it sounds like a quirky.
Speaker 3: Fun night of a puppet performance in pizza like it
Speaker 3: sounded really innocent.
Speaker 5: That would be fine. That was the truth.
Speaker 4: Okay, I don't get quirky. So what's the truth? What
Speaker 4: was it really like?
Speaker 5: Okay, so from the beginning it was okay.
Speaker 6: I wasn't really surprised because that's what I read in
Speaker 6: his pull file. But I just don't like it shouldn't
Speaker 6: have to be on a date.
Speaker 5: Joe weird off the back. That's why he's singles. If
Speaker 5: that's what he's been doing.
Speaker 4: Well, he walked in with two Duffel bags full of puppets.
Speaker 5: Yes he did.
Speaker 6: And I didn't know if he was going to bomb
Speaker 6: the place or pull out a credit card out of
Speaker 6: the air.
Speaker 5: I don't know, weird.
Speaker 3: So when you got to the first puppet character, what
Speaker 3: was your reaction?
Speaker 5: That was okay. I was like, okay, let me just
Speaker 5: endure this and embrace this. It was cute. It was
Speaker 5: cool to comit the mistiggy thing or whatever. That was fine, But.
Speaker 6: Then when he the other puppet was like this mafia guy.
Speaker 6: I think it's Joe Lavender. I don't know why he's
Speaker 6: called the Lavender Like Lavender is supposed to be peaceful. Okay,
Speaker 6: you know how when somebody has the puppet, he's speaking
Speaker 6: into the puppet, and the guy was harassed, kind of suggestive,
Speaker 6: like he's gonna put me in a Monty bag and
Speaker 6: he tried to kiss me.
Speaker 2: So what's the romans.
Speaker 1: Hold on?
Speaker 2: Who is talking on the good name of Joe Lavender
Speaker 2: and Joe Lavendar.
Speaker 5: I believe on the other line, like ye, Noel.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to let you know at a time
Speaker 1: when it was convenient that gabe'sman on the other line
Speaker 1: listening and wants to talk to you. But it sounds
Speaker 1: like Joe Lavender might be.
Speaker 5: Talking weirding my song.
Speaker 2: I'm mafia esque. I'm not involved with no bodies or
Speaker 2: no things.
Speaker 5: I'm just.
Speaker 2: Up.
Speaker 4: She didn't like Joe Lavender. Why would you be doing
Speaker 4: Joe Lavendar? Did you not hear what she said?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 2: I cannot believe you would do this.
Speaker 5: Man?
Speaker 2: Just after shared Hawaiian slices.
Speaker 5: This is the dish respect that you are paying me.
Speaker 3: Well, can you stop?
Speaker 4: Can you stop Joe Lavender?
Speaker 1: Yeah, put Joe Lavender back in the bag, and we'd
Speaker 1: like to talk to Gabe please.
Speaker 5: Hey, oh, hey, guys, Hey guys, what's up?
Speaker 1: Hey, welcome back here?
Speaker 5: Give me off. This phone is here. We'll get you
Speaker 5: off weird and it's a waste of my time.
Speaker 1: Maybe it'd be useful to help Gabe be a better
Speaker 1: data in the future, if you can a therapist.
Speaker 3: She brings up a good point gave Gabe. Are you
Speaker 3: listening to anything she just said? Could you have an apology?
Speaker 3: I mean she was offended.
Speaker 2: What I will say, Noel, I'm sorry that's how you
Speaker 2: feel it went. I offer no apologies and not just
Speaker 2: my puppets.
Speaker 5: I listen. I'm glad you want to be yourself. I
Speaker 5: hope it works for your future.
Speaker 1: That's a nice way to say, threw off.
Speaker 3: So, Noel, I'm guessing you don't really like Gabe that much.
Speaker 6: I mean, no, I try to, and it just went
Speaker 6: too extra bizarre, too extra bizarre hashtag day.
Speaker 1: I'm sensing a lot of there's a lot of friction here. Obviously,
Speaker 1: But friction is what you need to create a spark,
Speaker 1: and sparks it's a fire.
Speaker 3: Is this where you're going to ask, Well, if she
Speaker 3: wants to go out again, I would love I'm.
Speaker 5: Not going out with him again.
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe if you won't go out with Gaye, but
Speaker 1: maybe you'll go out with Joe Lavender. Can we put
Speaker 1: Joe Lavender on the line.
Speaker 2: Joe, yes, Joe Lavender is here. It's lonely at the top.
Speaker 2: It's lonely at the top.
Speaker 6: Only at the bottom because you're weird?
Speaker 1: Is going very well?
Speaker 5: Frankly, I can't.
Speaker 2: He was censoring himself quite a bit.
Speaker 5: That was holding back that day.
Speaker 2: After midnight, it's a whole other story.
Speaker 1: I don't know to know what happens with the puppets
Speaker 1: after midde.
Speaker 6: You never see him on the next special about being
Speaker 6: a weird puppet murderer.
Speaker 2: Hell no, that is a compliment and I appreciate that.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, Okay, I'm leaning up all right, thank
Speaker 6: you for your time. Ready, Oh my god, you can
Speaker 6: hang up now.
Speaker 1: Noel O, Gabe, it doesn't seem like she was the
Speaker 1: best match for you.
Speaker 2: Hey, you know, there are a lot of fish out
Speaker 2: in that sea and I plan on swimming.
Speaker 1: Really, I would.
Speaker 3: Say, good luck, maybe rework that whole Joe Lavender character
Speaker 3: a little bit more.
Speaker 2: No, No, I think I think Joe is pretty good.
Speaker 2: I think it's everyone else with the problem.
Speaker 1: Okay, Hey, Gabe, man, if you hear a knock at
Speaker 1: your door later, it's not because I had somebody go
Speaker 1: over to check you out, to make sure that you're
Speaker 1: you know, Okay.
Speaker 2: No need to worry.
Speaker 5: I'm glad I'm on the radio.
Speaker 2: Disni, you gonna get a show now, y.
Speaker 1: You know what, Joe, you can take over from my
Speaker 1: position because I'm obviously terrible at that.
Speaker 2: Okay, here we go. This is broken Joe in the Morning,
Speaker 2: puting them tunes from morning until the
Speaker 3: Good Luck pass pass, brooking Jeffrey in the Morning.