WEBVTT - But Now I Smell Like a Corpse

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<v Speaker 1>But now I smell like a corpse. Well you should

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<v Speaker 1>have thought of that first. It's one more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm strong, and one more thing. Yeah, it's a smell

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<v Speaker 2>like a corpse.

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<v Speaker 1>We actually had a little bit of this on the

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<v Speaker 1>Armstrong and Getty radio show yesterday when Joe was telling

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<v Speaker 1>us about the Brazilian butt lift, which is what is that.

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<v Speaker 2>You like, take fat from one part of your body

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<v Speaker 2>and inject it into your butt to make it like

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<v Speaker 2>bigger and puffier and higher and stuff. Katie making a

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<v Speaker 2>my god, humanity. Yeah, yeah, is have I interpreted your

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<v Speaker 2>facial You nailed it.

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<v Speaker 1>You nailed it. And then sometimes the the stuff dies

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<v Speaker 1>on you and you smell like, well, you smell like

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<v Speaker 1>a dead body because you're declaying, decaying flesh you're carrying.

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<v Speaker 1>If you will, you will have you will have buzzards

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<v Speaker 1>circling your head.

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<v Speaker 3>I think I think my algorithm is listening to us too,

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<v Speaker 3>by the way, because I logged into Instagram yesterday and

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<v Speaker 3>was horrified at a bbl oozing video that just designed

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<v Speaker 3>to the Yeah, it was right, it was.

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<v Speaker 2>The last thing ever.

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<v Speaker 1>But on that sort of topic, I know, I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>Before we get to that sort of topic, I just

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<v Speaker 2>quick mention we barely scratch the surface of that New

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<v Speaker 2>York Times report. I was talking about your smart devices

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<v Speaker 2>are always listening to you and watching you, and I

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<v Speaker 2>mean your doorbell is collecting data on you.

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<v Speaker 1>But so it's not at all crazy to think that

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<v Speaker 1>her phone or computer or something hurt us. Talking about this,

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<v Speaker 1>and the Instagram feed then had information about m correct. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so that that actually is happening as far as you

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<v Speaker 1>can tell, Yeah, in one way or another. Yeah, sure

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<v Speaker 1>seems to be happening.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, there was zero reason for that to show

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<v Speaker 3>up on my feed yesterday.

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<v Speaker 1>And we've all had that experience where like, why did

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<v Speaker 1>I just get an ad for a vacation to someplace

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<v Speaker 1>I mentioned to a friend but have never googled in

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<v Speaker 1>my wife? Yeah, yeah, that sort of thing. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is I'm a plastic surgeon. I'm one of the top

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<v Speaker 1>plastic surgeons, and I'd never get these five procedures. And

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<v Speaker 1>it lists five of your changing the way you look

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<v Speaker 1>procedures that you shouldn't get. I mentioned recently on the show,

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<v Speaker 1>is at least contemplating a chintuck because I think it

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<v Speaker 1>would make me look quite a bit younger and I

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<v Speaker 1>am a single man, so you know, although my son

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<v Speaker 1>said he would mock me for the rest of my

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<v Speaker 1>life if I did that, as would my entire family.

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<v Speaker 2>So in your entire staff. See, they would mock you.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I would look better, I know, I would look better.

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<v Speaker 3>They'd mock you until they're of the age where they're

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<v Speaker 3>considering getting a check.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we get a little of the turkey neck going yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, here are things you don't want to do,

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<v Speaker 1>according to this doctor. Liquid and I'd never heard of

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<v Speaker 1>many of these liquid nose jobs. This is when they

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<v Speaker 1>inject various liquid in your nose to like give you

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<v Speaker 1>more symmetry, like if your nose is not perfectly symmetrical,

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<v Speaker 1>or if you got a bump or downturned tip or

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<v Speaker 1>various things, they can even out your nose by injecting

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<v Speaker 1>stuff in there. The problem is that it can kill

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<v Speaker 1>the skin, known as necrosis, which you were talking about

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<v Speaker 1>yesterday with the Brazilian butt lift. And then you smell

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<v Speaker 1>like decaying flesh because that's what you have on your face,

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<v Speaker 1>decaying flesh, and it's it can cause you know, your

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<v Speaker 1>nose to have a worse shape, and it's very, very

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<v Speaker 1>hard to fix air, and it will never quite look

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<v Speaker 1>and function the same, the function being breathing, So you

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<v Speaker 1>hate to have that to go that and holding up

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<v Speaker 1>your glasses. You hate to have that function go away smelling. Yeah, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>that's true, that's true. I'd never heard of this one before.

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<v Speaker 1>I depigmentation. Born with blue eyes and wish you had green.

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<v Speaker 1>They inject pigments into your eyes to make them a

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<v Speaker 1>different color. Yeah, apparently this goes wrong a lot, and

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<v Speaker 1>it says one of the possible complications is blindness. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>you think that is a possible complication.

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<v Speaker 2>That's that ought to be at the top of the list.

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<v Speaker 1>There, doctor.

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<v Speaker 3>I was thinking diarrhea, but I thought that makes.

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<v Speaker 2>Diarrhea and blindness, Joe, those are possible. As you say, diarrhea,

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<v Speaker 2>no matter what I figured.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I can't see my way to the toilet and

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<v Speaker 1>I need to go right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my, how unfortunate. Perhaps you shouldn't have gotten a

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<v Speaker 2>I repigmented.

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<v Speaker 1>And this doctor says, I'd suggest just sticking with colored contacts.

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<v Speaker 1>Who has blue eyes and wants to change him as

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<v Speaker 1>a blue eyed guy person? I mean, you want You're

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<v Speaker 1>willing to get needles in the eyes because you wish

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't have whatever, Katie.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was a kid, I had beautiful hazel eyes.

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<v Speaker 2>They were green and brown. Oh, but just turned brown

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<v Speaker 2>as I aged. Imagine my disappointment.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sure what age do you think that you noticed

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<v Speaker 3>they were no longer hazel?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh gosh, I don't remember. I think somebody may have

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<v Speaker 2>pointed it out to me.

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<v Speaker 1>And think of how it's affected your life.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I could have been all sorts of better things

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<v Speaker 2>than I am right now. Stuff. My wife won't hear it,

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<v Speaker 2>so I won't make the inevitable joke. But I could

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<v Speaker 2>have been married to a supermodel, which clearly would have

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<v Speaker 2>made your life better. Oh, absolutely, judging by what I've seen.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, that's the way to be happy. Marry some

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<v Speaker 2>crazy hot chick who lives for her looks.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, who probably has had bucle fat removal. That's

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<v Speaker 1>a procedure in which they the fat pads, because we

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<v Speaker 1>all have them. The fat pads are removed from your

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<v Speaker 1>cheeks to create a slimmer appearance and accentuate your cheekbone.

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<v Speaker 1>So these right here on your cheeks, everybody. It's part

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<v Speaker 1>of the way we're structured.

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<v Speaker 2>I need to get rid of mine. Yeah, I got

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<v Speaker 2>chubby cheeks. I always have since I was a kid.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, they can come in different sizes, but we all

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<v Speaker 1>have them. It's just, you know, for.

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<v Speaker 2>Whatever reason, I'm getting mine yank this afternoon. Wait a minute,

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<v Speaker 2>this guy says, don't yeah, can lead to diarrhea and cheeklessness.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh, it just can make you look funny and there's

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<v Speaker 1>no fixing it. So it goes wrong a lot, as

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<v Speaker 1>basically as.

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<v Speaker 3>All of these things can make you look funny.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>True.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess the new trend I was reading about this

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<v Speaker 2>un till I thought, what the hell are you reading

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<v Speaker 2>about this? The new trend in the Kardashians are blazing

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<v Speaker 2>away is being honest about plastic surgery, saying yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>got the such and such lyft from this doctor and

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<v Speaker 2>it's great. Don't I look fantastic. It's the era of

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<v Speaker 2>full disclosure.

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<v Speaker 3>They're doing that because they've been lying about it for

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<v Speaker 3>years and taking all the hell for it.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, it's an interesting thing. So I doubt that I

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<v Speaker 1>would actually do this, but if I got a chintok,

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<v Speaker 1>I would look better. And if you can make yourself

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<v Speaker 1>look better with very little risk, why wouldn't you do

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<v Speaker 1>it because vanity is a sin of some sort or

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<v Speaker 1>but we do all kinds of other things. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm wearing a suit right now to look better. I

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<v Speaker 1>work out every day to work better to look better.

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<v Speaker 1>There's all kinds of thing things we do to look

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<v Speaker 1>better that we accept societally, but getting carved on, which

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<v Speaker 1>I have mocked my whole life. People who do this

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<v Speaker 1>also we look down on, maybe because that's purely vanity

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<v Speaker 1>in a way that dressing nicely and going to the

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<v Speaker 1>gym is not. And I also think it has to

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<v Speaker 1>do with like twentieth century Protestant values, and there are

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<v Speaker 1>quite a few of them we can name that are

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<v Speaker 1>starting to fade somewhat or substantially, and people think more

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<v Speaker 1>like you look, if I can afford it, I will

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<v Speaker 1>look better, I will be happier.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing it. Yeah, Well, I can't say you're necessarily wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>Well we're old, Katie. I don't know if you've noticed this,

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<v Speaker 1>but so we've seen this change in our lifetime. Are

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<v Speaker 1>you actually blonde? Oh yeah, you are actually bond Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>Well it's a bad example, but it used to be

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<v Speaker 1>culturally not cool to dye your hair. You'd get mocked. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>she's a bottle blonde. Nobody would say that at now,

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<v Speaker 1>and and and and most people. You know, you get

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<v Speaker 1>over the age of forty five fifteen, you start to

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<v Speaker 1>have gray hair as a woman, You diet, and every

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<v Speaker 1>that's perfectly accepted so and should be.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>But I wonder if, like you know, the chintuk will

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<v Speaker 1>go that direction too, where it goes from being looked

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<v Speaker 1>down upon, mock to just course you did I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe a couple of the other ones you shouldn't get done.

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<v Speaker 1>To wrap this up, browlifts said, it's perfectly fine in

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<v Speaker 1>the hands of an expert surgeon, an extremely skilled surgeon.

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<v Speaker 1>Otherwise you don't want to get it done. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>you'll have that permanently surprised look. Hey, hey, is this

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<v Speaker 1>place on fire?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>Could you imagine you having a brow lift and fixing

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<v Speaker 3>your RBF in the same week.

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<v Speaker 2>You'd be watching everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>That is the concern with some of these I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>could a chin talks have been around for so long,

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<v Speaker 1>there's gotta be tons of surgeons that can do them,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're like almost guaranteed you're gonna be perfectly fine.

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<v Speaker 1>But some of these you'd really hate to have to

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<v Speaker 1>come into work with a big giant lump on the

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<v Speaker 1>side of your nose that never existed before and you

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<v Speaker 1>can't get rid of now because you went all vanity.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, then you got to go jacko. You gotta have

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<v Speaker 2>surgery to fix that surgery, then some to fix that surgery,

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<v Speaker 2>and before you know it looking like a freak.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolute freak. And cool sculpting, which is fairly popular. It's

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<v Speaker 1>a designed to target fat. It just says here it

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<v Speaker 1>does it with acid. They use acid to break down

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<v Speaker 1>the fat. That's what's whoever came up with the name

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<v Speaker 1>cool sculpting good idea, because that sounds fantastic. Then when

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<v Speaker 1>you tell me what it is, We're gonna inject acid

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<v Speaker 1>into you that's gonna eat away the fat, it doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>sound as well cool.

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<v Speaker 2>But I never heard of that, kittie. Are you familiar

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<v Speaker 2>with cool sculpting or yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>I am, And I actually have a friend that did

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<v Speaker 3>it and said it hurt like hell, but you know,

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<v Speaker 3>you saw some results.

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<v Speaker 1>I've heard about it a lot. I just didn't know

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<v Speaker 1>what it was. And now that I've read about it, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't gonna do it anyway. But it can go

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<v Speaker 1>wrong too, And they said, save your money and do

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<v Speaker 1>LiPo suction if you're going to do one of those

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<v Speaker 1>LiPo sections smarter than.

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<v Speaker 2>Which is reputed to be, you know, one of the

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<v Speaker 2>more dangerous procedures itself because the danger of infection, but

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<v Speaker 2>also incredibly common.

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<v Speaker 1>LiPo section is incredibly common.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, that's the most common cosmetic procedure. Number two,

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<v Speaker 2>breast enhancement. It was just reading, since I read all

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<v Speaker 2>day long about everything that much smaller, more athletic breasts

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<v Speaker 2>are in the big old boobs. No longer hot plastic.

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<v Speaker 2>Surgeon's going for the nice mid size models. That's a Corolla,

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<v Speaker 2>not an escalade. That's another one that's gone Corollas. That's

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<v Speaker 2>another one that's gone pretty mainstream, hasn't. A boob job

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<v Speaker 2>was really out there as a certain sort of person

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<v Speaker 2>decades ago, and now it's quite common, especially for moms.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, yeah, yeah, and you're not gonna get mocked.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think no, no, no, I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think so, not at all. No. I mean

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<v Speaker 2>if you go with like giant porn boobs or something.

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<v Speaker 1>Like that, then well that makes you a weird I

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<v Speaker 1>think twice well that makes the thing would be, can

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<v Speaker 1>you stop at one of these? Because I I know,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I can use my fingers, I can hold

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<v Speaker 1>back my chin and look in the mirror like that,

0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:34.440
<v Speaker 1>I look, I look younger and better.

0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:38.520
<v Speaker 2>Thought about this a good deal, But do it? Just

0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:38.880
<v Speaker 2>do it?

0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.480
<v Speaker 1>I know it'd be good for the show. That's another thing.

0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:42.880
<v Speaker 1>I thought it'd be a good thing to talk about

0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:44.880
<v Speaker 1>leading up to it. I could almost certainly get it

0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:47.960
<v Speaker 1>paid for by some doctor and you know, talk about

0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:51.920
<v Speaker 1>it there or whatever. Yeah, it'd be great. You got

0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.240
<v Speaker 1>to go for it. But can you stop at one

0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:58.080
<v Speaker 1>or that's what I wonder, if you just don't open

0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.960
<v Speaker 1>the floodgates of well this could be tweaked a little

0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:02.800
<v Speaker 1>bit or five years later you want to get it again,

0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:04.080
<v Speaker 1>because that's what happens.

0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:04.800
<v Speaker 2>We didn't.

0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:07.839
<v Speaker 1>None of us notice Kenny Rodgers or Dolly Parton or

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.840
<v Speaker 1>any of those people the first one or two times

0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.520
<v Speaker 1>have got anything done. They just look good for their age,

0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:17.640
<v Speaker 1>I think. And then usually you start to look like

0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:20.880
<v Speaker 1>very Manlow or any of these freaks. I mean, you

0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:25.120
<v Speaker 1>look like a freak, like a circle, like, hey charge

0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:26.560
<v Speaker 1>a dollar to look at this guy?

0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:30.280
<v Speaker 2>Freak right right, although maybe you think about it. Like

0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:31.920
<v Speaker 2>we're in the middle of a remodel in the house

0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 2>and we've had friends say, look, if you're considering doing anything,

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.400
<v Speaker 2>do it now. While the house is chaotic and torn

0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:39.720
<v Speaker 2>up and there's dust and noise. You might as well

0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:44.280
<v Speaker 2>you get your chin, do your cheeks, get plugs, and

0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:47.600
<v Speaker 2>you show up after a week's vacation skinny face and

0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:50.640
<v Speaker 2>the one chin and the flowing hair.

0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:52.560
<v Speaker 1>That's funny.

0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.280
<v Speaker 2>Is count on everybody not to comment on it?

0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:58.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know, kiddie, count on everybody not saying anything

0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:00.960
<v Speaker 1>about it, right, I can get your glasses.

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:04.840
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's nice, so it looks good on you. There's

0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:06.439
<v Speaker 2>something I don't know an different that's.

0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.440
<v Speaker 1>Funny though if you did, if you're just gonna glance

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.000
<v Speaker 1>at me and say what I was going to get done,

0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:11.640
<v Speaker 1>you would assume it'd be some sort of hair thing.

0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.480
<v Speaker 1>But that never even crosses my mind. Really.

0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I happen to be watching the news. There's a

0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 2>cutie on the news, because it's all cuties on the news.

0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:22.240
<v Speaker 2>She had the like super thin, hollowed out cheek thing.

0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 2>That's absolutely obligatory.

0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.079
<v Speaker 1>That would be the taking the pad.

0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:30.160
<v Speaker 2>That's what the pads out does Yeah, Oh, you gotta

0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:33.160
<v Speaker 2>have that that super skeletal look that although you know,

0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:36.160
<v Speaker 2>honestly seventy five years ago everybody.

0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:37.640
<v Speaker 1>Had that look true because they were hungry.

0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:43.119
<v Speaker 2>Well, that was part of it. Gotta stay hungry jack. Huh.

0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:44.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, I guess that's it.