Speaker 1: But now I smell like a corpse. Well you should
Speaker 1: have thought of that first. It's one more thing.
Speaker 2: I'm strong, and one more thing. Yeah, it's a smell
Speaker 2: like a corpse.
Speaker 1: We actually had a little bit of this on the
Speaker 1: Armstrong and Getty radio show yesterday when Joe was telling
Speaker 1: us about the Brazilian butt lift, which is what is that.
Speaker 2: You like, take fat from one part of your body
Speaker 2: and inject it into your butt to make it like
Speaker 2: bigger and puffier and higher and stuff. Katie making a
Speaker 2: my god, humanity. Yeah, yeah, is have I interpreted your
Speaker 2: facial You nailed it.
Speaker 1: You nailed it. And then sometimes the the stuff dies
Speaker 1: on you and you smell like, well, you smell like
Speaker 1: a dead body because you're declaying, decaying flesh you're carrying.
Speaker 1: If you will, you will have you will have buzzards
Speaker 1: circling your head.
Speaker 3: I think I think my algorithm is listening to us too,
Speaker 3: by the way, because I logged into Instagram yesterday and
Speaker 3: was horrified at a bbl oozing video that just designed
Speaker 3: to the Yeah, it was right, it was.
Speaker 2: The last thing ever.
Speaker 1: But on that sort of topic, I know, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Before we get to that sort of topic, I just
Speaker 2: quick mention we barely scratch the surface of that New
Speaker 2: York Times report. I was talking about your smart devices
Speaker 2: are always listening to you and watching you, and I
Speaker 2: mean your doorbell is collecting data on you.
Speaker 1: But so it's not at all crazy to think that
Speaker 1: her phone or computer or something hurt us. Talking about this,
Speaker 1: and the Instagram feed then had information about m correct. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that that actually is happening as far as you
Speaker 1: can tell, Yeah, in one way or another. Yeah, sure
Speaker 1: seems to be happening.
Speaker 3: I mean, there was zero reason for that to show
Speaker 3: up on my feed yesterday.
Speaker 1: And we've all had that experience where like, why did
Speaker 1: I just get an ad for a vacation to someplace
Speaker 1: I mentioned to a friend but have never googled in
Speaker 1: my wife? Yeah, yeah, that sort of thing. So this
Speaker 1: is I'm a plastic surgeon. I'm one of the top
Speaker 1: plastic surgeons, and I'd never get these five procedures. And
Speaker 1: it lists five of your changing the way you look
Speaker 1: procedures that you shouldn't get. I mentioned recently on the show,
Speaker 1: is at least contemplating a chintuck because I think it
Speaker 1: would make me look quite a bit younger and I
Speaker 1: am a single man, so you know, although my son
Speaker 1: said he would mock me for the rest of my
Speaker 1: life if I did that, as would my entire family.
Speaker 2: So in your entire staff. See, they would mock you.
Speaker 1: Now I would look better, I know, I would look better.
Speaker 3: They'd mock you until they're of the age where they're
Speaker 3: considering getting a check.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we get a little of the turkey neck going yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, here are things you don't want to do,
Speaker 1: according to this doctor. Liquid and I'd never heard of
Speaker 1: many of these liquid nose jobs. This is when they
Speaker 1: inject various liquid in your nose to like give you
Speaker 1: more symmetry, like if your nose is not perfectly symmetrical,
Speaker 1: or if you got a bump or downturned tip or
Speaker 1: various things, they can even out your nose by injecting
Speaker 1: stuff in there. The problem is that it can kill
Speaker 1: the skin, known as necrosis, which you were talking about
Speaker 1: yesterday with the Brazilian butt lift. And then you smell
Speaker 1: like decaying flesh because that's what you have on your face,
Speaker 1: decaying flesh, and it's it can cause you know, your
Speaker 1: nose to have a worse shape, and it's very, very
Speaker 1: hard to fix air, and it will never quite look
Speaker 1: and function the same, the function being breathing, So you
Speaker 1: hate to have that to go that and holding up
Speaker 1: your glasses. You hate to have that function go away smelling. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: that's true, that's true. I'd never heard of this one before.
Speaker 1: I depigmentation. Born with blue eyes and wish you had green.
Speaker 1: They inject pigments into your eyes to make them a
Speaker 1: different color. Yeah, apparently this goes wrong a lot, and
Speaker 1: it says one of the possible complications is blindness. Oh
Speaker 1: you think that is a possible complication.
Speaker 2: That's that ought to be at the top of the list.
Speaker 1: There, doctor.
Speaker 3: I was thinking diarrhea, but I thought that makes.
Speaker 2: Diarrhea and blindness, Joe, those are possible. As you say, diarrhea,
Speaker 2: no matter what I figured.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't see my way to the toilet and
Speaker 1: I need to go right now.
Speaker 2: Oh my, how unfortunate. Perhaps you shouldn't have gotten a
Speaker 2: I repigmented.
Speaker 1: And this doctor says, I'd suggest just sticking with colored contacts.
Speaker 1: Who has blue eyes and wants to change him as
Speaker 1: a blue eyed guy person? I mean, you want You're
Speaker 1: willing to get needles in the eyes because you wish
Speaker 1: you didn't have whatever, Katie.
Speaker 2: When I was a kid, I had beautiful hazel eyes.
Speaker 2: They were green and brown. Oh, but just turned brown
Speaker 2: as I aged. Imagine my disappointment.
Speaker 3: I'm sure what age do you think that you noticed
Speaker 3: they were no longer hazel?
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I don't remember. I think somebody may have
Speaker 2: pointed it out to me.
Speaker 1: And think of how it's affected your life.
Speaker 2: Oh, I could have been all sorts of better things
Speaker 2: than I am right now. Stuff. My wife won't hear it,
Speaker 2: so I won't make the inevitable joke. But I could
Speaker 2: have been married to a supermodel, which clearly would have
Speaker 2: made your life better. Oh, absolutely, judging by what I've seen.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the way to be happy. Marry some
Speaker 2: crazy hot chick who lives for her looks.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, who probably has had bucle fat removal. That's
Speaker 1: a procedure in which they the fat pads, because we
Speaker 1: all have them. The fat pads are removed from your
Speaker 1: cheeks to create a slimmer appearance and accentuate your cheekbone.
Speaker 1: So these right here on your cheeks, everybody. It's part
Speaker 1: of the way we're structured.
Speaker 2: I need to get rid of mine. Yeah, I got
Speaker 2: chubby cheeks. I always have since I was a kid.
Speaker 1: Well, they can come in different sizes, but we all
Speaker 1: have them. It's just, you know, for.
Speaker 2: Whatever reason, I'm getting mine yank this afternoon. Wait a minute,
Speaker 2: this guy says, don't yeah, can lead to diarrhea and cheeklessness.
Speaker 1: Uh, it just can make you look funny and there's
Speaker 1: no fixing it. So it goes wrong a lot, as
Speaker 1: basically as.
Speaker 3: All of these things can make you look funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: True.
Speaker 2: I guess the new trend I was reading about this
Speaker 2: un till I thought, what the hell are you reading
Speaker 2: about this? The new trend in the Kardashians are blazing
Speaker 2: away is being honest about plastic surgery, saying yeah, I
Speaker 2: got the such and such lyft from this doctor and
Speaker 2: it's great. Don't I look fantastic. It's the era of
Speaker 2: full disclosure.
Speaker 3: They're doing that because they've been lying about it for
Speaker 3: years and taking all the hell for it.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's an interesting thing. So I doubt that I
Speaker 1: would actually do this, but if I got a chintok,
Speaker 1: I would look better. And if you can make yourself
Speaker 1: look better with very little risk, why wouldn't you do
Speaker 1: it because vanity is a sin of some sort or
Speaker 1: but we do all kinds of other things. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a suit right now to look better. I
Speaker 1: work out every day to work better to look better.
Speaker 1: There's all kinds of thing things we do to look
Speaker 1: better that we accept societally, but getting carved on, which
Speaker 1: I have mocked my whole life. People who do this
Speaker 1: also we look down on, maybe because that's purely vanity
Speaker 1: in a way that dressing nicely and going to the
Speaker 1: gym is not. And I also think it has to
Speaker 1: do with like twentieth century Protestant values, and there are
Speaker 1: quite a few of them we can name that are
Speaker 1: starting to fade somewhat or substantially, and people think more
Speaker 1: like you look, if I can afford it, I will
Speaker 1: look better, I will be happier.
Speaker 2: I'm doing it. Yeah, Well, I can't say you're necessarily wrong.
Speaker 1: Well we're old, Katie. I don't know if you've noticed this,
Speaker 1: but so we've seen this change in our lifetime. Are
Speaker 1: you actually blonde? Oh yeah, you are actually bond Okay,
Speaker 1: Well it's a bad example, but it used to be
Speaker 1: culturally not cool to dye your hair. You'd get mocked. Oh,
Speaker 1: she's a bottle blonde. Nobody would say that at now,
Speaker 1: and and and and most people. You know, you get
Speaker 1: over the age of forty five fifteen, you start to
Speaker 1: have gray hair as a woman, You diet, and every
Speaker 1: that's perfectly accepted so and should be.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: But I wonder if, like you know, the chintuk will
Speaker 1: go that direction too, where it goes from being looked
Speaker 1: down upon, mock to just course you did I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe a couple of the other ones you shouldn't get done.
Speaker 1: To wrap this up, browlifts said, it's perfectly fine in
Speaker 1: the hands of an expert surgeon, an extremely skilled surgeon.
Speaker 1: Otherwise you don't want to get it done. I'm not
Speaker 1: you'll have that permanently surprised look. Hey, hey, is this
Speaker 1: place on fire?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Could you imagine you having a brow lift and fixing
Speaker 3: your RBF in the same week.
Speaker 2: You'd be watching everybody.
Speaker 1: That is the concern with some of these I don't know,
Speaker 1: could a chin talks have been around for so long,
Speaker 1: there's gotta be tons of surgeons that can do them,
Speaker 1: and you're like almost guaranteed you're gonna be perfectly fine.
Speaker 1: But some of these you'd really hate to have to
Speaker 1: come into work with a big giant lump on the
Speaker 1: side of your nose that never existed before and you
Speaker 1: can't get rid of now because you went all vanity.
Speaker 2: Well, then you got to go jacko. You gotta have
Speaker 2: surgery to fix that surgery, then some to fix that surgery,
Speaker 2: and before you know it looking like a freak.
Speaker 1: Absolute freak. And cool sculpting, which is fairly popular. It's
Speaker 1: a designed to target fat. It just says here it
Speaker 1: does it with acid. They use acid to break down
Speaker 1: the fat. That's what's whoever came up with the name
Speaker 1: cool sculpting good idea, because that sounds fantastic. Then when
Speaker 1: you tell me what it is, We're gonna inject acid
Speaker 1: into you that's gonna eat away the fat, it doesn't
Speaker 1: sound as well cool.
Speaker 2: But I never heard of that, kittie. Are you familiar
Speaker 2: with cool sculpting or yeah?
Speaker 3: I am, And I actually have a friend that did
Speaker 3: it and said it hurt like hell, but you know,
Speaker 3: you saw some results.
Speaker 1: I've heard about it a lot. I just didn't know
Speaker 1: what it was. And now that I've read about it, well,
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna do it anyway. But it can go
Speaker 1: wrong too, And they said, save your money and do
Speaker 1: LiPo suction if you're going to do one of those
Speaker 1: LiPo sections smarter than.
Speaker 2: Which is reputed to be, you know, one of the
Speaker 2: more dangerous procedures itself because the danger of infection, but
Speaker 2: also incredibly common.
Speaker 1: LiPo section is incredibly common.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's the most common cosmetic procedure. Number two,
Speaker 2: breast enhancement. It was just reading, since I read all
Speaker 2: day long about everything that much smaller, more athletic breasts
Speaker 2: are in the big old boobs. No longer hot plastic.
Speaker 2: Surgeon's going for the nice mid size models. That's a Corolla,
Speaker 2: not an escalade. That's another one that's gone Corollas. That's
Speaker 2: another one that's gone pretty mainstream, hasn't. A boob job
Speaker 2: was really out there as a certain sort of person
Speaker 2: decades ago, and now it's quite common, especially for moms.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, and you're not gonna get mocked.
Speaker 1: I don't think no, no, no, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think so, not at all. No. I mean
Speaker 2: if you go with like giant porn boobs or something.
Speaker 1: Like that, then well that makes you a weird I
Speaker 1: think twice well that makes the thing would be, can
Speaker 1: you stop at one of these? Because I I know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I can use my fingers, I can hold
Speaker 1: back my chin and look in the mirror like that,
Speaker 1: I look, I look younger and better.
Speaker 2: Thought about this a good deal, But do it? Just
Speaker 2: do it?
Speaker 1: I know it'd be good for the show. That's another thing.
Speaker 1: I thought it'd be a good thing to talk about
Speaker 1: leading up to it. I could almost certainly get it
Speaker 1: paid for by some doctor and you know, talk about
Speaker 1: it there or whatever. Yeah, it'd be great. You got
Speaker 1: to go for it. But can you stop at one
Speaker 1: or that's what I wonder, if you just don't open
Speaker 1: the floodgates of well this could be tweaked a little
Speaker 1: bit or five years later you want to get it again,
Speaker 1: because that's what happens.
Speaker 2: We didn't.
Speaker 1: None of us notice Kenny Rodgers or Dolly Parton or
Speaker 1: any of those people the first one or two times
Speaker 1: have got anything done. They just look good for their age,
Speaker 1: I think. And then usually you start to look like
Speaker 1: very Manlow or any of these freaks. I mean, you
Speaker 1: look like a freak, like a circle, like, hey charge
Speaker 1: a dollar to look at this guy?
Speaker 2: Freak right right, although maybe you think about it. Like
Speaker 2: we're in the middle of a remodel in the house
Speaker 2: and we've had friends say, look, if you're considering doing anything,
Speaker 2: do it now. While the house is chaotic and torn
Speaker 2: up and there's dust and noise. You might as well
Speaker 2: you get your chin, do your cheeks, get plugs, and
Speaker 2: you show up after a week's vacation skinny face and
Speaker 2: the one chin and the flowing hair.
Speaker 1: That's funny.
Speaker 2: Is count on everybody not to comment on it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, kiddie, count on everybody not saying anything
Speaker 1: about it, right, I can get your glasses.
Speaker 2: Well, it's nice, so it looks good on you. There's
Speaker 2: something I don't know an different that's.
Speaker 1: Funny though if you did, if you're just gonna glance
Speaker 1: at me and say what I was going to get done,
Speaker 1: you would assume it'd be some sort of hair thing.
Speaker 1: But that never even crosses my mind. Really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I happen to be watching the news. There's a
Speaker 2: cutie on the news, because it's all cuties on the news.
Speaker 2: She had the like super thin, hollowed out cheek thing.
Speaker 2: That's absolutely obligatory.
Speaker 1: That would be the taking the pad.
Speaker 2: That's what the pads out does Yeah, Oh, you gotta
Speaker 2: have that that super skeletal look that although you know,
Speaker 2: honestly seventy five years ago everybody.
Speaker 1: Had that look true because they were hungry.
Speaker 2: Well, that was part of it. Gotta stay hungry jack. Huh.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.