1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,840
Speaker 1: Hey, that folks in this episode, is chivalry dead? If

2
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:11,719
Speaker 1: it's not, should it be? But if chivalry is dead,

3
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,000
Speaker 1: should we resurrect it right here, right now in this

4
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,119
Speaker 1: episode of Amy and TJ. And with that, welcome to

5
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,040
Speaker 1: this episode of Amy and TJ Robes. I will start

6
00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:24,520
Speaker 1: with the question we will get We're gonna deep dive

7
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,560
Speaker 1: into this. But generally speaking, if you're asked the question, Robock,

8
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,840
Speaker 1: is chivalry dead? What is your answer?

9
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:36,000
Speaker 2: I would say yes, by and large, yes, especially here

10
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,240
Speaker 2: in New York City. I know, having lived in the South,

11
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:45,080
Speaker 2: in the Midwest, and living up north, there are big

12
00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:49,600
Speaker 2: differences in how men and women relate and act with

13
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:50,600
Speaker 2: and toward.

14
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:50,640
Speaker 3: One of them.

15
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,159
Speaker 1: Wait minute, So you're saying it's not dead.

16
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,960
Speaker 4: In the South, not as much.

17
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,280
Speaker 2: It's dying maybe with the younger generations, but it's not dead.

18
00:00:58,360 --> 00:00:59,440
Speaker 3: Is it dead in New York City?

19
00:00:59,480 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 1: An?

20
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,040
Speaker 2: What?

21
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,840
Speaker 1: That is a strong indictment of the men of New York. Y'all,

22
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,919
Speaker 1: hear what she's saying about you, That chivalry is dead

23
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,120
Speaker 1: in New York. Yes, I have said, I'm looking at

24
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,720
Speaker 1: your pha You're not I'm not playing. I'm not playing.

25
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,200
Speaker 2: No, I've lived here for more than twenty years and

26
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:21,240
Speaker 2: it's still shocking to me at how dead it is.

27
00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:24,720
Speaker 1: Let's give some context here. When we're generally talking about chivalry,

28
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 1: what are we talking about.

29
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,120
Speaker 3: We are talking about basic things, okay.

30
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,360
Speaker 1: And I'm not talking we want to make sure we're

31
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,160
Speaker 1: not talking about chivalry and taking care of a woman

32
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,200
Speaker 1: like a sugar daddy type. That ain't chivalry. We're talking

33
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,960
Speaker 1: about gestures that often that don't always have to be

34
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,360
Speaker 1: romantic gesture. You can be chivalrous to your mother or

35
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,440
Speaker 1: some stranger on the street.

36
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,880
Speaker 3: And also, let us preface it with this.

37
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,640
Speaker 2: I am of a certain generation and age where it's

38
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,920
Speaker 2: maybe it could go fifty to fifty. Not everyone appreciates chivalry.

39
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:58,320
Speaker 2: Some people are offended by it. I actually appreciate it.

40
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,600
Speaker 2: But we're talking about when a man opens a door

41
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,200
Speaker 2: for you, a car door, a restaurant door. You know,

42
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,840
Speaker 2: trying you've got bags, you're juggling things, you're trying to

43
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,040
Speaker 2: get into a Dwayne read someone opens the door for you.

44
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,359
Speaker 3: Someone who offers to pay for the meal.

45
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:13,960
Speaker 1: There's a big one.

46
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,400
Speaker 3: Yes, it is.

47
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:21,640
Speaker 2: Walks on the outside. So a man to be chivalrous

48
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,800
Speaker 2: will walk on the side of the street where the

49
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,359
Speaker 2: traffic is so as to to be basically a barrier

50
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:33,360
Speaker 2: for anything from splashing mud to a swerving car. Offers

51
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,040
Speaker 2: a woman his jacket if you're cold, May I offer

52
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,160
Speaker 2: you your jacket, my jacket for you. That's a big

53
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,440
Speaker 2: one when it's cold outside.

54
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,160
Speaker 3: Lets women get off and on the.

55
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:47,160
Speaker 2: Elevator first, or the subway first, or just into a

56
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,400
Speaker 2: room first, giving up your seat on the subway, a

57
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:55,040
Speaker 2: crowded bus, a crowded train, stuff correct carry her bags

58
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,400
Speaker 2: for her. So I've got these heavy shopping bags or

59
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,960
Speaker 2: a heavy offering to take that. Also when you're getting

60
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:05,080
Speaker 2: on a plane, offering to help put or get those

61
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,240
Speaker 2: heavy bags up in the overheart head compartment. To me,

62
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,000
Speaker 2: those are all like things that I would consider chivalry.

63
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,040
Speaker 1: Or are you saying, though you listed a bunch of

64
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,920
Speaker 1: things that sound like common sense, common courtesy, I should

65
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,320
Speaker 1: say you're telling me the men of New York, generally speaking,

66
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,200
Speaker 1: don't do those things.

67
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,760
Speaker 2: They are not common No, And in fact, I remember

68
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:28,960
Speaker 2: specifically juggling strollers, babies and biorns being pregnant, and the

69
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,959
Speaker 2: only people who did any of those things for me

70
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:31,720
Speaker 2: were other women.

71
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,120
Speaker 1: Okay, but is that a New York thing? To where

72
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 1: we get conditioned here in New York too, And I

73
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,600
Speaker 1: will speak on this in a second. Men here are

74
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,600
Speaker 1: conditioned to woman doesn't want to be bothered. She can

75
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,800
Speaker 1: do her thing, I know, not to bother. She doesn't

76
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,080
Speaker 1: need my help, she doesn't want my help. So they're

77
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,560
Speaker 1: conditioned now to not do those things. Is that possible?

78
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,640
Speaker 3: That's entirely possible.

79
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,120
Speaker 2: But I would also say that I think it's just

80
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:58,360
Speaker 2: not valued as much here. I don't think it even

81
00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,840
Speaker 2: would be received as well here.

82
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,840
Speaker 1: Wow, Okay, this is all coming out. We're talking about

83
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,200
Speaker 1: it now. You and I got into a conversation, a debate.

84
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,240
Speaker 1: I would even argue, we're talking about Trump's choice for

85
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:15,000
Speaker 1: Defense Secretary, Hexseth, who was a former Fox News host.

86
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,800
Speaker 1: A lot of controversy about him for a whole bunch

87
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,520
Speaker 1: of reasons, but one of the things that was talked

88
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,520
Speaker 1: about is in him saying that men or women should

89
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:28,279
Speaker 1: not serve in frontline combat positions alongside men. He had

90
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,360
Speaker 1: all reasons for this, but it got us talking a

91
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:37,840
Speaker 1: little more a little deeper about equality and this idea

92
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,200
Speaker 1: that you are treating women as a fairer or quote

93
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,880
Speaker 1: unquote weaker sex that needs to be protected. And this

94
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:50,599
Speaker 1: all kind of flowed into a conversation between us about

95
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:55,760
Speaker 1: what chivalry. It's nice, and it might be a nice gesture,

96
00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:01,400
Speaker 1: but does it perpetuate an ongoing inequality between men and

97
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,479
Speaker 1: women and in women? Is it perpetuating a notion of

98
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,240
Speaker 1: gender norms and where we should be even though I

99
00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,280
Speaker 1: think I'm doing a nice thing by opening the door.

100
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,440
Speaker 2: Yes, So this is a big question mark, and I

101
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:20,320
Speaker 2: think people and women have varying responses to that. And

102
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:26,279
Speaker 2: I think I came up where I was the only

103
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,520
Speaker 2: woman among my friend group in the nineties who were

104
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,440
Speaker 2: getting married. Who chose, and this is when I was

105
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,960
Speaker 2: living in the South, chose not to take my husband's

106
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:35,640
Speaker 2: last name. Why.

107
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,279
Speaker 3: I didn't want to lose part of who I was.

108
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,520
Speaker 1: I would you though, just because you lose a last name.

109
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,600
Speaker 2: Because I prided myself on being Amy Roboch and so

110
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,160
Speaker 2: I wanted to stay Amy Robick. And just because I

111
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,840
Speaker 2: went into partnership or into a marriage with someone else

112
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,159
Speaker 2: didn't mean that I had to assume someone else's last

113
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,640
Speaker 2: name or identity for us to be a partnership.

114
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:01,080
Speaker 3: So I felt strongly about that. Also, I also just.

115
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,400
Speaker 2: Felt like it was part of being someone's property. Back

116
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,239
Speaker 2: in the day, it was though women didn't have rights.

117
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,960
Speaker 2: Women couldn't vote, they couldn't own property, they didn't have

118
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,839
Speaker 2: a say in a lot of things. They couldn't enter

119
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,680
Speaker 2: into a contract. So I just felt like all of that,

120
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,640
Speaker 2: for all of those reasons, I didn't want to make

121
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,040
Speaker 2: it that deep. I just really from the time I

122
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,560
Speaker 2: was eleven years old, I remember thinking, I'm not going

123
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,520
Speaker 2: to change my name.

124
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,760
Speaker 3: Why would I change my name?

125
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,400
Speaker 2: And so that was maybe the big feminist gesture that

126
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:33,240
Speaker 2: I chose.

127
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,719
Speaker 3: To enact when I was in my early twenties.

128
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,360
Speaker 2: And when I did that, I also struggled because then

129
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,000
Speaker 2: I was told by people, Well, if you're going to

130
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,120
Speaker 2: take that track and you're going to not take your

131
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,800
Speaker 2: husband's last name, if you're going to be the breadwinner,

132
00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:51,120
Speaker 2: if you're going to ask that your family move for

133
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:55,640
Speaker 2: your job, well then you can't also assume or ask

134
00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:58,320
Speaker 2: or want a man to open a door for you.

135
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,799
Speaker 1: Well, some things here, because you talk about you taking

136
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,159
Speaker 1: somebody's last name and you being a breadwinner should not

137
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,680
Speaker 1: be connected. You could you could whether the breadwinner or

138
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,400
Speaker 1: not should not be a part of this conversation.

139
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,760
Speaker 2: Is it I agree with you, But I was told

140
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,560
Speaker 2: by many people and men included, that if I was

141
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,680
Speaker 2: going to take that track, that I couldn't then also

142
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,800
Speaker 2: have this expectation that somebody was going to take care

143
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 2: of me in another gesture, in another way, that if

144
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,800
Speaker 2: I was going down that road, then I needed to

145
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 2: go down that road by myself and take care of

146
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,400
Speaker 2: myself and have zero expectations that a man should do

147
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,520
Speaker 2: anything above and beyond for me that I could technically

148
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,239
Speaker 2: do it for myself.

149
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,800
Speaker 1: Again, we mud eat the waters way earlier than I

150
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,320
Speaker 1: thought we were going to here.

151
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,280
Speaker 2: I am telling you I wasn't. I was actually a

152
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,520
Speaker 2: little wounded by that. But I accepted it and said, Okay,

153
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,760
Speaker 2: what by the thought that I couldn't, that I couldn't

154
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,520
Speaker 2: be a strong, powerful, independent woman and at the same

155
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:57,280
Speaker 2: time appreciate like and want a man to also do

156
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,760
Speaker 2: some of those I think very beautiful or give me

157
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,040
Speaker 2: some of those beautiful gestures that I appreciate, And.

158
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,559
Speaker 4: That is where it would make me feel loved.

159
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,760
Speaker 1: But that is where people will say, you can't have

160
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,560
Speaker 1: it both ways. Okay, do you think you can can

161
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:14,400
Speaker 1: a strong, powerful woman who is pushing for equality, who

162
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:18,320
Speaker 1: is pushing to for that for us all to see

163
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,680
Speaker 1: women as absolute equals. Man. Woman, you can do it,

164
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,640
Speaker 1: I can do it. I don't need you to pay

165
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,000
Speaker 1: for my meal. I don't need you to open my door.

166
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,440
Speaker 1: I don't need your coat, don't I don't need anything.

167
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:31,240
Speaker 1: Can you not accept those gestures but at the same

168
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 1: time be promoting strength, equality and capability of women.

169
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:37,800
Speaker 3: I believe you can.

170
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,960
Speaker 2: But it took me a while to get there because

171
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,480
Speaker 2: I felt like I was asking for too much, because

172
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,520
Speaker 2: I was told I was asking for too much, that

173
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,800
Speaker 2: I couldn't have it both ways.

174
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,240
Speaker 4: I try you asking for to door.

175
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,480
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like a stretch.

176
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:51,400
Speaker 3: I agree with you.

177
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,000
Speaker 2: I agree with you, but I think that you know,

178
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,000
Speaker 2: in a way, for some men, it might be threatening

179
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,880
Speaker 2: or frustrating, like, oh, oh, you're not going to stay home,

180
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,320
Speaker 2: You're not going to take a beta role.

181
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,200
Speaker 3: You're not. But ye, at the same time, you want

182
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,559
Speaker 3: me to do this for you and that.

183
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,920
Speaker 2: For you, And I just feel like I kind of

184
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,080
Speaker 2: assumed I shouldn't so, But I truly believe I not

185
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,600
Speaker 2: every woman. Probably a lot of women won't agree with me,

186
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,160
Speaker 2: but I do believe there are differences in genders for

187
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,320
Speaker 2: the most part, we do have things that biologically we

188
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,440
Speaker 2: are probably not in all cases, but in a lot

189
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,480
Speaker 2: of cases more predisposed to be good at. It doesn't

190
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:34,440
Speaker 2: take away from my ability to put my own bag up,

191
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,160
Speaker 2: or to carry my own bag, or to open my

192
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,840
Speaker 2: own door, to have a man do it for me.

193
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:44,679
Speaker 2: I consider that to be something beautiful. I appreciate it.

194
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,800
Speaker 2: I think it's a wonderful gesture that someone is there

195
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:53,000
Speaker 2: who is bigger and stronger than me in most instances,

196
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,240
Speaker 2: who's just saying, hey, let me get that for you.

197
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,160
Speaker 2: I don't take offense to that. I appreciate it.

198
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:06,000
Speaker 1: Okay, you are the problem Robes, according to many women,

199
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:10,120
Speaker 1: because in wanting that and accepting that what you're doing

200
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:18,280
Speaker 1: are perpetuating the notion of benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism as

201
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,880
Speaker 1: some of you may be familiar, We weren't. We had

202
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,520
Speaker 1: to do a little bit of a deeper dive. But

203
00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,719
Speaker 1: this is the idea of benevolent sexism. Yes, you might

204
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,000
Speaker 1: have good intentions, Yes you may be well meaning, but

205
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:33,800
Speaker 1: what you are doing is reinforcing traditional gender roles and

206
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:39,960
Speaker 1: maintaining male dominance. Yes, Robes, you by wanting or appreciating

207
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:44,920
Speaker 1: or even yes, expecting that you are holding women down. Robes.

208
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,920
Speaker 3: Well, I don't expect it, I can say that, but

209
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:47,599
Speaker 3: I appreciate it.

210
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:48,839
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to jump on the part

211
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,080
Speaker 1: of course you're not holding women down.

212
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,920
Speaker 3: I thought that was the and I, well, yes, so

213
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:54,640
Speaker 3: here's the deal.

214
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,640
Speaker 2: I actually feel like it, maybe because I've lived enough

215
00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:02,360
Speaker 2: life and I have had wonderful opportunities that other women

216
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,520
Speaker 2: who've paved the way have helped at least me get

217
00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,760
Speaker 2: to where I've gotten in my life professionally, but I

218
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,600
Speaker 2: have nothing to prove like. I know I can do

219
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,640
Speaker 2: those things, but it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate

220
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:20,440
Speaker 2: someone else coming in and helping me. It makes I

221
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,120
Speaker 2: do feel loved. I do feel protected. Is it wrong

222
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:27,319
Speaker 2: for a woman to enjoy feeling protected? Is it wrong

223
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,160
Speaker 2: for a woman to enjoy feeling taken care of?

224
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,920
Speaker 3: Even though I can take care of myself and I

225
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,400
Speaker 3: have been taken care of myself.

226
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,360
Speaker 1: Hey, yes, different opinions on these things. But I asked

227
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,840
Speaker 1: the question of about how the question of how does

228
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,720
Speaker 1: a woman feel? How does everybody listening? How does it

229
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 1: make you feel when a man, maybe he's a stranger,

230
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,600
Speaker 1: maybe it's somebody you're dating opens a door for you.

231
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,760
Speaker 1: I love it. Feel does it make you feel when

232
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,520
Speaker 1: you're on the first or second or whatever date and

233
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,120
Speaker 1: the guy pays? How does that make you feel?

234
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 3: I appreciate it?

235
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,160
Speaker 1: Okay. How you feel when the guy walks on the

236
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,960
Speaker 1: outside the sidewalk that you're on? I love it, opens

237
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,760
Speaker 1: the car door, give you a jacket when he's cold.

238
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,880
Speaker 1: I love that when you're cold, Right, all of that,

239
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,280
Speaker 1: you love all of that. So on the other side

240
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,640
Speaker 1: of that, how do you feel when a man doesn't

241
00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:15,600
Speaker 1: open the door? How do you feel when a man

242
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,040
Speaker 1: doesn't offer to pay for the meal? How do you

243
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,800
Speaker 1: feel when a guy doesn't pull out his umbrella and

244
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 1: make sure you're under it when it's raining. How do

245
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,040
Speaker 1: you feel when a guy doesn't do those things? Do

246
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,760
Speaker 1: you look at him and you think what's wrong with you?

247
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:27,959
Speaker 3: No?

248
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:32,280
Speaker 2: I don't, especially I think after having, like I said,

249
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,000
Speaker 2: I lived in New York City, I think initially maybe

250
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 2: I did feel that a little bit.

251
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,000
Speaker 1: You've gotten trained not to expect it.

252
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,480
Speaker 4: Yes, that's unfortunate, Yes I have.

253
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,680
Speaker 2: And you look, my dad did all of those things,

254
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,720
Speaker 2: so it might be different with your experience growing up.

255
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,840
Speaker 2: But my dad did those things for me and I

256
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,840
Speaker 2: appreciated it. And he also taught me how to balance

257
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,040
Speaker 2: my own checkbook. He also taught me how to pay

258
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,520
Speaker 2: my own taxes. He, you know, he and my mom

259
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,360
Speaker 2: you know, was a part of those conversations as well.

260
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,360
Speaker 2: But so I do think that I think both things

261
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:06,400
Speaker 2: can exist, and it doesn't mean anything negative. I think

262
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,319
Speaker 2: it's how we view it and how we look at it.

263
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,320
Speaker 2: And the least of my problems is a man opening

264
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,480
Speaker 2: the door for me. That is the least of my

265
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,040
Speaker 2: problems as a woman, and it probably takes away if

266
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:22,960
Speaker 2: you and so I find it interesting. I get it

267
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,840
Speaker 2: that women complain about that are offended by that, but

268
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,560
Speaker 2: I just don't think that men, in doing so are saying, Hey,

269
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,680
Speaker 2: you weak ass woman who can't open her own door,

270
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,920
Speaker 2: let me do this for you. I just really think

271
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,480
Speaker 2: it's a matter of being polite, a matter of being

272
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:42,760
Speaker 2: a gentleman. I appreciate a gentleman, and I don't understand

273
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,000
Speaker 2: why we can't appreciate those gestures, those moments of chivalry

274
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,480
Speaker 2: and at the same time have that not take away

275
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,240
Speaker 2: from our own power. I don't need you to do it,

276
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,720
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't expect you to do it, but I

277
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:54,760
Speaker 2: really like it.

278
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,200
Speaker 4: When you do.

279
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,720
Speaker 1: All right, Well, that expectation is always a key here,

280
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,280
Speaker 1: but I have obviously, I'm born raised in the South,

281
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,719
Speaker 1: my mother father, both of them from the Delta, Arkansas.

282
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,720
Speaker 1: From the moment, and we talked about this, from the

283
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:14,439
Speaker 1: moment I was physically able, my mother did not open

284
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,200
Speaker 1: another door for herself. Right. She would walk up to

285
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,280
Speaker 1: a store, the front door of a store, and just

286
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 1: stand there and look at me. You're forgetting something. I

287
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,320
Speaker 1: was three years old when I was physically able to

288
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,040
Speaker 1: open a door. I was trained, and all of my

289
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,680
Speaker 1: thinking now I was thinking about stories of my life.

290
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,560
Speaker 1: All of my training as a gentleman or doing those

291
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,880
Speaker 1: chivalrous things came from my mother. No offense, Pops. I'm

292
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,920
Speaker 1: not saying you didn't teach me anything. But my mom

293
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,680
Speaker 1: was on it and trained me from birth to do

294
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,720
Speaker 1: these things. And so I get Yes, it happened in

295
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,760
Speaker 1: New York. I remember traveling a line from Atlanta to

296
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,120
Speaker 1: New York and run into people in the airport and

297
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,600
Speaker 1: I would say, I would try to hold a woman's

298
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,720
Speaker 1: bag open the door. God forbid, you say yes, ma'am, no, ma'am.

299
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,480
Speaker 1: But I have absolutely been not quite yelled at, but

300
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,640
Speaker 1: gotten onto by women like how dare you? I got

301
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 1: my door? I don't need you for this, I don't

302
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,480
Speaker 1: need you for that. And it was I was really

303
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:15,240
Speaker 1: taken aback by that idea of doing these aren't women.

304
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 1: There's just a random lady in the airport. This is

305
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,040
Speaker 1: not somebody I'm trying to take out on the date.

306
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm not out, but I was. I was taken aback.

307
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 1: So to your point of you've gotten accustomed to that,

308
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,600
Speaker 1: because now I've gotten accustomed to already getting out of

309
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,440
Speaker 1: the training that my mama gave me. Right.

310
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,960
Speaker 2: But the good news is we're perfect together on this

311
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:41,400
Speaker 2: because you were trained to do it, and I am

312
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,920
Speaker 2: so appreciative of you doing it because it's been lacking

313
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,040
Speaker 2: for two decades.

314
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 3: This is one of the areas that we really really

315
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 3: are vibing.

316
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 1: I really don't know any better, So I am. I

317
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,720
Speaker 1: am fascinated by this conversation, which is going to continue.

318
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,040
Speaker 1: So for a lot of us, we don't even know

319
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:03,160
Speaker 1: where this comes from. This idea of women and children first, right,

320
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,520
Speaker 1: this idea that for some reason we're supposed to make

321
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,480
Speaker 1: sure women go first, or they are the first to

322
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 1: get off the ship. But we gotta save the women first.

323
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 1: This is an idea that experts say, or at least

324
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,240
Speaker 1: the historian say, goes back to the eighteen hundreds on

325
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,120
Speaker 1: a particular ship. We're gonna get into the details of

326
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 1: where this comes from in the first place. Stick with

327
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 1: us here, folks, we're going to be right back here

328
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:37,720
Speaker 1: on Amy and TJ. All right, we continue here on

329
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 1: Amy and TJ having a discussion about benevolent sexism. Yes, fellas,

330
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 1: you think you're doing a nice thing and a sweet

331
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,840
Speaker 1: gesture by opening the door, being chivalrous, but a lot

332
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,640
Speaker 1: of people think that's just perpetuating old gender norms and

333
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:54,240
Speaker 1: ideas that women are the fairer or weaker sex. So

334
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 1: even though you're trying to do a nice thing, it

335
00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 1: ultimately is keeping women back. I with you, Well, we've

336
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,080
Speaker 1: been friends for ten years, but before we were ever

337
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 1: in a relationship, you and I went out alive or

338
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 1: drinks or have a go, have a lunch or something

339
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 1: here and there. There is not a single point in

340
00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:17,879
Speaker 1: our relationship, including now that I've known you, not in

341
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 1: friendship relationship. That's not a single point that you didn't

342
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,199
Speaker 1: make more money than me, and at some points it

343
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:31,560
Speaker 1: was significantly more money than me. Yet every time we

344
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 1: went out, who was picking up the bill?

345
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:34,640
Speaker 3: You were?

346
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 2: But I also offered and a couple of times tried

347
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 2: to venmo you and that didn't go well, We're going

348
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,920
Speaker 2: to go well, And you would always just say it

349
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:48,720
Speaker 2: all evens out in the end, and look, I actually

350
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 2: I don't think anybody likes to feel like they owe

351
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 2: somebody something. But we had enough of a friendship where

352
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 2: I guess eventually now maybe it has even out, but I.

353
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:02,639
Speaker 4: Some it hasn't.

354
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 3: But I'm okay with that.

355
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 1: No, we ahead shot.

356
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:14,640
Speaker 2: But I think some some women don't appreciate the feeling

357
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:20,320
Speaker 2: that somehow now they owe something, and that's something that

358
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,640
Speaker 2: we put on ourselves. And so I would just ask,

359
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,159
Speaker 2: you know, I would never demonize somebody who is willing

360
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 2: to pay.

361
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 3: Especially when there's zero expects.

362
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 2: Now, if there's an expectation attached to paying for it,

363
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 2: that is a whole other issue. But that was never

364
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 2: the case. You're the only man I know in my

365
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 2: life that I can recall who has always consistently insisted

366
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,720
Speaker 2: on paying no matter what.

367
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 1: You can. You can go ask any friend of mine,

368
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 1: amy female friend of mine. This has been the case

369
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,359
Speaker 1: forever we go out, and I just it's an automatic.

370
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,160
Speaker 1: The guy pays. Now, a lot of people hear that, Okay,

371
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous if your friends, and that's fine. But in

372
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 1: my mind and my mindset, the way I've always been trained,

373
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 1: that's what should happen. But these days, how is that

374
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 1: view these days for people when they go out, when

375
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 1: they first date, second date, third date? Who if the

376
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 1: guy pays, is it an automatic? Does the woman expect it?

377
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,399
Speaker 1: What happens now? I'm looking at the younger folks that

378
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 1: have in our own I actually don't know what the

379
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 1: expectation is.

380
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 2: Celia and Andy are here, and I can only base

381
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 2: this off of some of the dating shows I've been watching.

382
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,360
Speaker 2: And I told you I was really shocked because I'm

383
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 2: watching the new Love is Blind here in the US,

384
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 2: and this one woman as she's in the pods talking

385
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 2: to potential suitors or potential husbands, making it very clear

386
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,360
Speaker 2: that she wants to be taken care of, and that

387
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 2: she doesn't want it to be fifty to fifty, and

388
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,239
Speaker 2: that she likes a masculine male and she wants to

389
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 2: be and everyone was shocked, like jaw dropping, like they

390
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 2: were like, this does not happen.

391
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 3: It's She's that was different. But I think she is

392
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 3: an outlier.

393
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 2: But Celia, I'll ask you, like, what do you think

394
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 2: about who pays for what on dates?

395
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 5: I think it definitely depends on the longevity of the relationship.

396
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 5: I think if it's a first date, you kind of

397
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 5: reach for your like you reach in your purse like

398
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 5: you're about to pay, Like you know, I'm not grabbing anything.

399
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 3: But you're hoping that he's gonna pay.

400
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm just pretending like I'm going to but I'm not.

401
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,359
Speaker 1: For everybody listening, Solia, we are in line. This is

402
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 1: exactly the way a date should go. Really, we don't

403
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:41,240
Speaker 1: expect you to pay. Just that little gesture that you're

404
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 1: making an effort, just a little lunge towards your purse

405
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: a little bit, just a little bit, and we look

406
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 1: at that and go, Okay, she's she's game. She's a

407
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 1: good one. I got I got a good one here.

408
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 1: We have no problem paying that little thing. That's exactly

409
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 1: how a date should go.

410
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, you gotta pretend exactly it.

411
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 3: It's about the expectations.

412
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 2: If you think that the girl is expecting you to pay,

413
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,919
Speaker 2: you feel completely differently about paying than just saying this

414
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 2: is what I want to do, versus this is what

415
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:08,679
Speaker 2: she expects me.

416
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 1: See, this is me. I think every woman should expect

417
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 1: me to pay. But I don't need her to sit

418
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,640
Speaker 1: there with her arms folded when the check comes. Right,

419
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. I don't need her to give

420
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,640
Speaker 1: an attitude of you're gonna get that way. No, No,

421
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 1: it's okay, we're told, But still I am. I feel

422
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 1: like I am perpetuating this negative idea of gender roles.

423
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 1: At least I'm told that, right. I don't feel that necessarily,

424
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 1: But everything I hear and read and all, my goodness

425
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: is different. Times has got to be this way. So

426
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 1: now I'm a little gun shy on some of these things.

427
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 3: I've watched you get scolded.

428
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 2: I've watched you get scolded by women who are upset

429
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 2: that you refer to them as ma'am, that you are

430
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 2: using polite terminology with the door. And I will admit

431
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,120
Speaker 2: we talked about when we were friends. I was still

432
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 2: in that mindset because I was I was.

433
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 3: Told I can't have it all. I can't have it

434
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:07,360
Speaker 3: both ways.

435
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 2: So you would see me struggling with the heavy bag

436
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 2: to go put up in the overhead compartment when we

437
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,400
Speaker 2: were traveling for work, and you'd say, let me get

438
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 2: that robes and I'd say, no, no, no, no, I've

439
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 2: got it.

440
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 1: Okay, go back. This is before we traveled together and

441
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: we were working, right, Yes, we traveled together a lot

442
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: when we were working. Yes, And we get on the plane,

443
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 1: we're boarding together, and what do you always did? We

444
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 1: usually sit next to each other, sit together, but gotta

445
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 1: put that bag in the overhead, that heavy bag in

446
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: the overhead.

447
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 2: Yes, and so I will get on my tippy toes,

448
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: I will grunt, I will push, I will do what

449
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 2: it takes to like somehow ling it up there. And

450
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 2: so now TJ looks at me, he goes, who's a

451
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 2: big girl?

452
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 4: No, yeah, understand, who's a big girl?

453
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 3: In front of everybody?

454
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 1: I think I gave you two go's at it on

455
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 1: a flight and you said, no, I got I got

456
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: I got it. I'm seeing you struggle. I'm standing literally

457
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: right next to you. You don't want me to help

458
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,680
Speaker 1: you with your bag? Okay? So now here we are,

459
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: two years into our relationship. We fly together all the time.

460
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: Now I refuse to help you put your bag in

461
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 1: the overhead. And when we travel, we used okay, we

462
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: bored first. Everybody's around kind of a little intimate, little

463
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: area in the front, and when you're doing it, I

464
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,479
Speaker 1: don't yell this out, but like you said, I make

465
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 1: sure everybody can hear. Oh, who's a big who's a

466
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 1: big Amy? Look at look at Amy? Who's that big girl?

467
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 1: She got our bag?

468
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: Oh?

469
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: Good job? And this goes on. So she starts laughing,

470
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: and now she's struggling with the bag even more. She's waiting,

471
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: and I keep it going to you go almost you

472
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: almost got who's a big girl?

473
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 4: Yes?

474
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: I think Actually we have even had a cabin of

475
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 1: folks clap after you do it because I was egging

476
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: them on.

477
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 2: I believe a couple another man has actually come in

478
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 2: and helped because struggling.

479
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 1: I didn't feel any kind of way about it. Knock

480
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: yourself out, dude, But.

481
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: To that point, I actually reflected about why did I resist.

482
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 2: I've even s I seen my twenty one year old

483
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 2: daughter resist having someone hold a bag for her when

484
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 2: she's got a heavy bag. She's five to two, she's

485
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 2: a little gal. And it's pride and it's somehow, Well,

486
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 2: if I let someone help me, I'm acknowledging I'm weaker.

487
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 2: And here's the deal. I've gotten to point out, babe,

488
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 2: where I am and would be.

489
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 4: But I get it.

490
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 3: If you're still harboring.

491
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 2: Any ill, well, totally fine, and like laughing at myself

492
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 2: for somehow thinking I'm proving something to the world or

493
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:35,719
Speaker 2: to myself that I'm strong, and that is actually silly.

494
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 2: And so I think when we all start feeling offended

495
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: or somehow saying when you're doing something kind that it's offensive,

496
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 2: or when you're doing something to be helpful that I'm

497
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 2: now annoyed, that is on me as the woman. Because

498
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 2: if I actually really am confident in who I am

499
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 2: and what I'm capable of and what I've accomplished in

500
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 2: my life and what I've yet to accomplish, you can

501
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 2: just ex accept a gesture as kind and helpful and

502
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 2: not take it personally as some sort of slight against

503
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 2: my physical ability.

504
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 1: But do you understand why some women might yes, wait,

505
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 1: wait a minute, you think I need help? Do you

506
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: see why I was like that?

507
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 2: I mean, I had that mindset on a few certain

508
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 2: random things including putting my bag in the overhead and

509
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 2: I and now, if I really do sit back and

510
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 2: am honest with myself, that's my problem that somehow that's

511
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: something that I am assigning to myself that no one

512
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 2: is actually intending. I think so many times this is

513
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: about misunderstanding and what the intentions are. And if you

514
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 2: can just accept a gift, it's hard to accept help.

515
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 2: It is hard to accept help, but sometimes I do

516
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 2: need it. I am physically inferior to you, TJ. I

517
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 2: can say that, and it's okay because that's just the

518
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 2: way it is emotionally.

519
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: I am just kidding.

520
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,479
Speaker 2: It depends on the subject, and it depends on how

521
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 2: much sleep we've each got. And I knew you were,

522
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 2: but I was actually trying to give an honest answer.

523
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 2: But I think sometimes and not Look, these are generalizations.

524
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: Not all women in man are but but generally speaking, yes,

525
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 2: women are physically inferior APPS And I tell my daughters

526
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: this when they're walking the streets of New York City.

527
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 2: Don't get this bravado about yourself that you're just as

528
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 2: strong as men when it comes to personal safety and

529
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: physical safety. Acknowledging that you're not is actually a part

530
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 2: of being intelligent and knowing where your where your strengths are,

531
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 2: and also acknowledging where your weaknesses are. It doesn't make

532
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 2: you any less of a human. It's just acknowledging what is.

533
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 2: And I think sometimes are so afraid to do that

534
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 2: as women.

535
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: And I know what you meant, and and it sounds bad.

536
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: I know what you mean by physically inferior. I don't

537
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 1: want anybody to jump on that and.

538
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 4: Try to drink.

539
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 1: But it's it's it's it's provable, it's it's fat, it's

540
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:57,679
Speaker 1: physiologically okay, a fact that just men generally are built taller, stronger.

541
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 1: It's just that's just a fact. So that's what you're saying.

542
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 1: Generally speaking, Obviously there are plenty of women out there

543
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 1: with my ass and Andy's ass over it. That's not

544
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 1: what we're talking about. But generally speaking to your point

545
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: of there are times you don't want your daughters to

546
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: be traveling in certain places you I've heard you say this,

547
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: Ye are there going to be guys with you? Yes,

548
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 1: you have some dudes with you. Are you traveling to

549
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: whatever country?

550
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 2: Both of my daughters initially got offended, and I said

551
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 2: to them this is a problem if you can't acknowledge

552
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 2: where you are in the world and the fact that

553
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 2: sometimes it is helpful for your physical safety to be

554
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 2: with men and not just women, and certainly not by yourself,

555
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 2: whereas if a man was traveling by himself my brother,

556
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 2: I would be far less concerned of what I'm saying,

557
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 2: like my mom.

558
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,440
Speaker 3: My mom was, and my dad were way.

559
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 2: More concerned with me walking back from a party by

560
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 2: myself on campus versus my brother. And I think sometimes

561
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: we get so caught up in equality that we aren't

562
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 2: acknowledged things that actually could make a difference in your

563
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 2: personal safement.

564
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm laughing at the idea of my parents at some

565
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: point saying to me, when I'm walking somewhere or traveling,

566
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: you got some other guys with you. Obviously they do.

567
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 2: So we like there are things that we just need

568
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 2: to acknowledge, and I think it's okay. And I even

569
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 2: had to get into my own headspace as we were

570
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 2: talking about this as to why I have acted certain ways,

571
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 2: and it's all something that I think us women feel

572
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 2: like we have to prove something, and I think a

573
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 2: lot of times if we just acknowledge what is and

574
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 2: accept what is, and also just feel good and strong

575
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,479
Speaker 2: about who we are and what we're capable of. It

576
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 2: doesn't take away from my strength to let you hold

577
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 2: it back for me, or to to to say sure, babe,

578
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: that would actually be wonderful, Like can you lean into

579
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 2: that and still be a feminist?

580
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 3: I believe?

581
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: So let me ask this, what should every guy do

582
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: and what should every woman expect? What I'm talking about

583
00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: the absolute bottom basement base that every woman should expect

584
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: from a guy, and that the guy should absolutely do.

585
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: And I go back to holding open a door that

586
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: seems I mean, it doesn't matter if it's the person

587
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 1: you're dating, it doesn't matter if it's your mama, it's

588
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: a stranger on the street, if a woman is walking,

589
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: I don't know any other option but to open the door. And,

590
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: by the way, fellas, if the door swings open towards you,

591
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: then you hold the door open and she goes first.

592
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: If the door swings out, you walk through first and

593
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: hold the door and let her exit. That's just some

594
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: one on one for the fellas out there. That's the

595
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: way it should go. But is that the bottom line? Basic?

596
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: Can we all agree on something that a woman should expect?

597
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: From a guy, and a guy should absolutely be doing

598
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: no matter what.

599
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 2: The only thing I could say that's absolute is respect,

600
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: and that it's just to respect where that person is.

601
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 2: And it might not be some blanket thing where all women,

602
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 2: you know, expect it, but we all can expect respect

603
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 2: so wherever we are, whatever we feel, and maybe not

604
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 2: get personally offended if a woman says thank you, I'd

605
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 2: rather open my own door by all means, you know.

606
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 3: And I just think if we can just respect where

607
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 3: we all are.

608
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 2: But also I just think it's important as a woman

609
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 2: to ask yourself why you feel the way you feel

610
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 2: and way and understand maybe why a man would feel

611
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: the way he feels.

612
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: And that both are okay, Yeah.

613
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 3: It is okay, I think.

614
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: So this goes back to and again I'll say we're

615
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: going to mention this, but the idea of women and

616
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: children first. This idea obviously it's understandable with children, right,

617
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: they can't oftentimes protect themselves. This goes back to a

618
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: ship that went down in eighteen fifty two off the

619
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: coast of South Africa, the HMS Birkenhead. The HMS Birkenhead

620
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: where at the time the reports are that the captain

621
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: at the time saw all the men scrambling and filling up,

622
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: and they were going to essentially take up all the

623
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: spots on the for the boats, for the rescue boats

624
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: that are attached, for the life rafts, and they made

625
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: a decision, no, we are going to make sure there

626
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: are spots for the women and the children first. That

627
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 1: continued obviously with the Titanic.

628
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: I thought you were going to say this Titanic it

629
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: was it predates, it predates.

630
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: So but this was the idea that kind of got rolling.

631
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: To this day, we still think women and children first.

632
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,479
Speaker 1: We still think women and children. And why do we

633
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: think that, because these are the folks that need to

634
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: be protected first in society. This came up again with

635
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 1: the conflict in Gaza, where so many hostages were there

636
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: women and children arguing should be released. Well, that woman

637
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: there is healthier than this eighty year old guy, right,

638
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: So it doesn't always work that way. That might be

639
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: an eighty year old man I need to help with

640
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 1: his bag on the airplane sometimes. So it's just it's

641
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 1: not a one size fits all sometimes. So these debates

642
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: happening now with Hegseth with the Defense Department. So it

643
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: came up and you and I had I think we

644
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: lost like fifteen minutes of work time doing our morning

645
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: run podcast because we stopped and we got into a

646
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: back and forth about this. It's just interesting to talk about,

647
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: and certainly with the way I've been trained the way

648
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: you've been trained, essentially by your dad, I've seen him

649
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: do all of this with your mom constantly.

650
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 3: Just he's very chivalrous with my mom.

651
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 2: And I saw that as an example my whole life,

652
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 2: and so to me it represented love. It didn't represent

653
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 2: being put down or being marginalized or being considered less

654
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 2: than it was about love. And so for me, it

655
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 2: was about love and respect. And that might be the

656
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 2: reason why that's the lens I view it with. But

657
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 2: I got confused when I took on a different role

658
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 2: in my life that I didn't see other women around

659
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 2: me take on, which was, you know, to be the breadwinner,

660
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 2: to be the person moving the family, to be the

661
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 2: person who kept her last name. So I felt like, oh, well,

662
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 2: then I guess I can't expect or want even once

663
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: you know, those other things to happen. I felt like

664
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 2: I had to choose between the two, and I think

665
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: now I'm at a place in my life, especially with

666
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 2: you in my life, and knowing how chivalrous you are

667
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 2: naturally or you were trained to be from a young age.

668
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 2: I've actually I had a conversation with my mom about

669
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 2: it because I think I used to be more like

670
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: my daughter's like, I can do it all.

671
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 3: I don't need a man.

672
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 2: Of course, Fine, that's great, But what's wrong with enjoying

673
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 2: having someone show you a little bit of love?

674
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 1: And that's all it is. It's it really is love.

675
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: And there are some things and I think getting up

676
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: from the table when a woman gets up from the

677
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 1: table is one thing. I don't see a lot. Actually

678
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: I don't see any other guy in life do that, but.

679
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 3: It impressed the hell out of me when I saw

680
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 3: you do it.

681
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, this guy is respect It felt

682
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 2: like respect.

683
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 3: It's not it wasn't offensive, it was respectful.

684
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 1: I've done that before in my life. I've stood up

685
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 1: you at a restaurant. You stand up when a woman

686
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: leaves a table. Doesn't have to be your woman, just

687
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 1: any woman leaves a table, And I say, your woman,

688
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 1: by not this, she's a possession.

689
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 4: Okay, given, where's this conversation is gone?

690
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: I don't need to make that mistake. Andy, can we

691
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: edit that out?

692
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 5: Please?

693
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 4: Take no, no, no, we know what you mean.

694
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: But any woman gets up from the table, and this

695
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: is one that Chuck for the past twenty years almost

696
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 1: you know, I've been out with Chuck plenty times. He

697
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: I have been ripped by him for years because no

698
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: other guy ever stands up. So if I stand up

699
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,359
Speaker 1: when a woman leaves the table and no other guy does,

700
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: it makes the other guys look bad. So I have

701
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: been getting ripped for that for a long time. The

702
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 1: thing on the other side of the on the sidewalk,

703
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: that's an automatic I think sometimes with you, you and

704
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 1: I have almost tripped over each other because you're trying

705
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 1: to figure out where you're going because I'm just we're

706
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: doing a little ballet. I'm trying to get to the

707
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 1: other side of you, and we switched.

708
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 3: Side of the street.

709
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 2: I have to switch the side up on with you,

710
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 2: Witch purses because we're holding hands.

711
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 4: So, yeah, it's a little bit of a dance that happens.

712
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,800
Speaker 3: But I do appreciate the gesture.

713
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: The car door is a big one.

714
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's been That's been a huge change in my life,

715
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 2: and I like it.

716
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, guys, even if you are the one driving, you

717
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: still go to the passenger side and you her in first.

718
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:01,919
Speaker 3: It makes me feel loved.

719
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 2: It's just an autumn because I'm actually it's funny because

720
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: I feel embarrassed saying it, because I again, I've been

721
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 2: conditioned for so long to not want that, and I

722
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 2: like it.

723
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna admit it. I love it, and I

724
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 3: want some more of it.

725
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know any other way to be. And

726
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 1: I can't remember the young lady's name that works the

727
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: front of your building. I can't remember her name, but

728
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 1: I'm saying I have at that door. I have been

729
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: in standoffs with women at that door before because they

730
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,720
Speaker 1: were trying to tell me to come out. I said, nope,

731
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: you come on. Hey, No, no, no, you come on. Nope,

732
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: ma'am you first. And then you know what I end with.

733
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: I say, nope, my mama wouldn't have it any other way.

734
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 1: And when I say.

735
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 4: That, okay, yeah, they get it.

736
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna win this guy over. But it is

737
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 1: is just training. Mama thinks it's not anything I could

738
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: take credit for. It's just it's just muscle memory for me.

739
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 3: I guess I should thank your mama. Well, thank you,

740
00:35:59,600 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 3: thank you.

741
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: I'm a home So this is an interesting This is

742
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 1: the last question I want to ask you. Does chivalry

743
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: have to go away in order for us to eventually

744
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: get to full gender quality.

745
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 3: I don't think so.

746
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,320
Speaker 2: I don't believe so, because I think there are always

747
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 2: going to be differences between the sexes, whether we like

748
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,359
Speaker 2: to admit them or not. And I think we can

749
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 2: compliment one another. We don't have to be stereotypical and

750
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 2: fingerpoint and make it.

751
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 3: A negative thing. Can be a positive thing.

752
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 2: You know. And I think we can help each other

753
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 2: in a lot of ways. And I think that it

754
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 2: doesn't keep any one of us down by accepting love,

755
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:45,879
Speaker 2: accepting respect, accepting help. And I think the two can

756
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 2: coexist if we can all get in the right headspace.

757
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 1: Bumby lunch when we get out of here.

758
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 3: Sure, not a problem at all.

759
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: All right, folks, We appreciate you listening. As always. You

760
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 1: can find us on official Instagram page at Amy and

761
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,240
Speaker 1: TJ Podcast. You can find us on our personal pages

762
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 1: on Instagram as well. And yes, we'd appreciate you chiming

763
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 1: in on this one respectfully.

764
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: In the spirit of love and respect, yes, we'd love

765
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 2: to hear your two cents all right.

766
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: We also appreciate you listening, as always was a you.

767
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 1: Next Game,