Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Cossin and iHeart
Speaker 1: Radio podcast.
Speaker 2: DA It's moving day, Moving day?
Speaker 1: How stressed are you right now that you're not at
Speaker 1: the house. It's directing the movers where to go.
Speaker 3: I cannot run out of here fast enough because I'm
Speaker 3: such a I would call myself an amazing delegator.
Speaker 1: It needs to be a more intense word than amazing.
Speaker 2: What does it need to be.
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I can't come up with the
Speaker 1: vocabulary for it.
Speaker 3: I just I like to delegate and the fact that
Speaker 3: I'm not there right now with the movers because we
Speaker 3: had such a bad experience moving out of our national
Speaker 3: house to hear because you.
Speaker 1: Hired sixteen year old kids that were stealing all of
Speaker 1: our stuff.
Speaker 3: I did not hire six year old kids. They were
Speaker 3: a company, and I don't think I could say the company,
Speaker 3: but they hired sixteen year old kids, and they.
Speaker 1: Stole our booze, tried to steal alcohol.
Speaker 3: They tried to steal alcohol, and then they broke a
Speaker 3: couple pieces of furniture, and then they threw all of
Speaker 3: our stuff into the storage unit.
Speaker 1: And it just it looks like everything's just short.
Speaker 2: It looks like everything.
Speaker 1: I was so angry that I couldn't be there.
Speaker 4: Of all things to not skimp on, they say the
Speaker 4: movers is one of them. It sounds like you guys
Speaker 4: were cutting costs.
Speaker 2: Michael, no stretching here, No, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: So I I somehow got in charge.
Speaker 1: Of this some some somehow, she just somehow she didn't say,
Speaker 1: I got it, I'll hire them, I'll be there. I
Speaker 1: got it. You weren't even there when we moved, and
Speaker 1: then for some reason you wanted to take a flight
Speaker 1: out the same day, thinking oh yeah, the mover said
Speaker 1: they'll be done by.
Speaker 2: Three's what they said.
Speaker 1: No one's ever done on time. How did you find
Speaker 1: these people?
Speaker 3: I used them before. It's you know, all of my brothers,
Speaker 3: but changed the name.
Speaker 1: That was the company.
Speaker 3: They're a very big company, okay. And I called and
Speaker 3: and they weren't the cheapest route, but they they did
Speaker 3: a terrible job. But we did call and we talked
Speaker 3: to the company and they gave us.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of money. But that's good.
Speaker 3: But it's just going to break my heart because I
Speaker 3: showed him when we went back to Nashville a couple
Speaker 3: of weeks ago, I showed him what the storage and
Speaker 3: it looked like and it literally looks like I mean,
Speaker 3: there's broken side glasses and side tables and all our
Speaker 3: faces look broken because they just threw.
Speaker 2: It in there.
Speaker 1: It looks like a dumpster at the dump where they
Speaker 1: put all the furniture, but in his origin.
Speaker 3: And that's my bad because I shouldn't have left that day.
Speaker 3: But we were flying to fourth of July for vacation,
Speaker 3: so I had everything planned, you know, and if people.
Speaker 1: Aren't up to Jam's plan, it ruins everything.
Speaker 2: Hey, I did already.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Anyways, anyways, this is the fact you're here right, So
Speaker 3: here we are again, though we're it's still not there
Speaker 3: for the move. Now we've got these movers, but I
Speaker 3: trust this movie company.
Speaker 4: My friend Chris Guy I used to know in Wisconsin.
Speaker 4: He moved from Wisconsin to Florida recently, and he made
Speaker 4: news on this because he went to the news to
Speaker 4: try to bust these people. They loaded his stuff, They
Speaker 4: made him pain care ash red flag. There were a
Speaker 4: bunch of red flags and he didn't see his stuff
Speaker 4: for like two and a half months. What And then
Speaker 4: I was calm and saying, oh no, we got it.
Speaker 4: It's common notes coming. Yeah, we got it. We will
Speaker 4: be there Tuesday. Then they would show up Tuesday, and
Speaker 4: his weeks and weeks and months went by.
Speaker 1: He had to go in the local news.
Speaker 4: It got picked up in different cities, Like he's really
Speaker 4: because he went on a Facebook group and tons of
Speaker 4: people have the same problem with the same company.
Speaker 1: They just steal your stuff.
Speaker 2: Whose company? What was it?
Speaker 1: I should look up the name of the company.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should.
Speaker 1: But he ended up getting a stuff back.
Speaker 4: A lot of it was broken and some of it
Speaker 4: was stolen, but he got most of it back, and
Speaker 4: he had already been convinced he was never getting any
Speaker 4: of it back, so he considered that a win and
Speaker 4: he's moving on.
Speaker 1: But wow, you got to research.
Speaker 4: And he'll be the first to admit he should have
Speaker 4: done more research, the Yelp reviews, the better business for
Speaker 4: bureau check, he.
Speaker 1: Should have done all that back. He saw a great
Speaker 1: deal and he took it. Yeah, that kind of stuff, you.
Speaker 3: Got to Well, I we got this mover from Instagram
Speaker 3: because when someone on Instagram, like I said, who's your
Speaker 3: favorite moving companies? Oh yeah, and this girl was like, oh,
Speaker 3: my brother's friend or whatever works for the company.
Speaker 1: Well, they've been great because a guy that owns the
Speaker 1: company came to the house.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Ryan, he's amazing.
Speaker 1: He's been on a you know, direct line basis.
Speaker 3: With North American Moving Company. This is not an ad,
Speaker 3: but they've been great so far.
Speaker 1: So that's why. But today, today is d day. Today
Speaker 1: is when we find out how great they are.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 3: And I'm so stressed out i am. It's all champagne problems,
Speaker 3: but I'm I'm, I am very stressed because we don't
Speaker 3: actually know when we're closing on our house because things
Speaker 3: keep getting.
Speaker 1: This is my wife at her finest.
Speaker 3: Well, no here, let me just break it down for
Speaker 3: you guys. So we were told we were going to
Speaker 3: close on the fourteenth okay.
Speaker 1: Of May and June okay.
Speaker 3: June okay, But something happened with their pool company, and
Speaker 3: so I'm not going to say their name, no, but
Speaker 3: so we again, we took out a loan to get
Speaker 3: a pool because it's expensive a pool, right, So we
Speaker 3: took out a loan over line of credit, and we
Speaker 3: picked out the pool, and we tried to go a
Speaker 3: little cheaper route because this other route was more expensive.
Speaker 3: So but we all, I said, my number one thing
Speaker 3: is I want a splash pad for the kids. I
Speaker 3: wanted to be six to seven inches of water, something
Speaker 3: that's great that we can sit in with a chair
Speaker 3: or even just like a little kiddy splash pad, and
Speaker 3: then the rest of it can be for the adults.
Speaker 1: Okay, but because when I think a splash but I
Speaker 1: think shooting, we didn't. We opted not for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so just you know, just a regular splash pad.
Speaker 3: And they're like, oh great, absolutely, like no problem at all,
Speaker 3: totally totally it's gonna be amazing. So the girl that
Speaker 3: works the company sent me a picture of the pool
Speaker 3: when it was getting put into the ground, and I'm
Speaker 3: looking at it and I was like.
Speaker 1: We just have to do with the doory.
Speaker 2: It's about the pool.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think just wants to vent about her pool.
Speaker 2: We got it fixed, but it's let me just in
Speaker 2: a second.
Speaker 3: So she sends me a picture of the pool and
Speaker 3: I was like, that doesn't look like a splash pad.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, hmm, this is interesting. So they put
Speaker 3: the shell in the ground and then we go there
Speaker 3: like a month or so later, and I was like, Michael,
Speaker 3: where are they filling the water up to?
Speaker 2: And he's like this line. I was like, how deep
Speaker 2: is that? Two and a half feet? So me sitting
Speaker 2: in the splash pad would be water up to my forehead.
Speaker 2: So then I this is perfect? How is that perfect?
Speaker 3: Because my daughter couldn't sit in that, My son will
Speaker 3: like he will not be able to even be in
Speaker 3: the pool at all. Now can't even sit because I'll
Speaker 3: have to hold them above my head. Well I'm sitting
Speaker 3: like like simba okay. So this is where I go bad.
Speaker 3: This is where I need to learn to be a
Speaker 3: better person, because I go straight to I email I sorry,
Speaker 3: I text message the girl up. Where in your right
Speaker 3: mind do you think that this is a splash pad
Speaker 3: two and a half feet?
Speaker 2: This is effing ridiculous. And I sent a picture of
Speaker 2: me with the.
Speaker 3: The the tape measure how is that to where to
Speaker 3: where it was measured?
Speaker 2: How is that?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 5: Where?
Speaker 3: Where in your brain? Is that perfect for kids? And
Speaker 3: Michael's like, what is that going to do?
Speaker 1: Do you want the solution or do you want their
Speaker 1: their I want.
Speaker 3: Their logic and that's the thing I want the logic of. Honestly,
Speaker 3: what you thought like just like you know how you
Speaker 3: say to me, Mike, why would you ask me a
Speaker 3: question when I'm making a peanut butter and joy sandwich.
Speaker 2: I want a little social awareness.
Speaker 3: Situational awareness, Yeah, it's my favorite term, it's his favorite.
Speaker 3: But I want to know like in your like seriously
Speaker 3: right mind. And they've never answered that question, so it
Speaker 3: really bothers me. So long story short, they had to
Speaker 3: take the pool thing out and now we have to
Speaker 3: pay more money because they're like, oh yeah, no, they
Speaker 3: can't do a splash pad like that, so take out more.
Speaker 3: So now they they're like, well, we promised this won't
Speaker 3: delay your closing. We promised this will not delu this
Speaker 3: will not delay I know, but let me just then,
Speaker 3: this will not delay stop it right now, this will
Speaker 3: not delay your your you're closing. Well, I'm about to
Speaker 3: sit down and I'm reading an email and I got
Speaker 3: an email from the builder saying we're now delayed because
Speaker 3: your pool won't be done.
Speaker 2: And I was like, are you Evan serious? I was like,
Speaker 2: I am furious.
Speaker 1: It's funny about this is this was all in the
Speaker 1: last few days. Since then, before this episode, we've gotten
Speaker 1: it taken care of. But I don't think that we
Speaker 1: have We've had the solution.
Speaker 2: I don't think we have.
Speaker 1: We're back on track. I don't think Janna still has
Speaker 1: those feelings out.
Speaker 2: I don't think we are.
Speaker 3: Why because it's because we still haven't gotten the email.
Speaker 3: I mean, we are a week away from potential closing
Speaker 3: and we still have not gotten an email from our
Speaker 3: builders saying we can close. And I have a feeling
Speaker 3: the pool company is going to somehow screw this up,
Speaker 3: and I just like, screw it.
Speaker 1: But I'm just and again again. What what like getting
Speaker 1: after them and attacking them? What is that going to
Speaker 1: solve when it comes to something as complicated as a
Speaker 1: house finishing and closing.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you why.
Speaker 1: I don't want them to rush.
Speaker 2: I don't either.
Speaker 1: I don't want them to half ask something. What's the
Speaker 1: difference between a week?
Speaker 3: Let me tell you what the difference is. Because your
Speaker 3: wife has literally planned everything.
Speaker 1: I know, because you had the movers come at the
Speaker 1: first possible time that we could close.
Speaker 2: I had to. There's no other way to be able
Speaker 2: to share the moving truck with our friend Julie. So
Speaker 2: that's the thing.
Speaker 3: So the movers from here to Nashville, their delivery window
Speaker 3: is the thirteenthrough the night.
Speaker 1: There is no give. There's no leeway, there's no like
Speaker 1: given risk are here?
Speaker 3: Yes, I said the way planned it? No, but that
Speaker 3: was was there that? Or we were going to pay
Speaker 3: five thousand dollars more money? So this way we were
Speaker 3: able to share a moving van with Julie. Would you
Speaker 3: have done differently, Darling?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 1: I need you handled it perfectly.
Speaker 2: No, I'm curious would you have handled it differently?
Speaker 1: No, it's just no, it's just for me. I mean,
Speaker 1: and we have different I think this is where we actually,
Speaker 1: you know, counterbalance each other well, because there's times where
Speaker 1: you get a bit of news and you just want
Speaker 1: to immediately make that call, send that email, say what
Speaker 1: the you know what the this, that and the other.
Speaker 1: I'm like, honey, let's just give it a second.
Speaker 2: Let's giving a second, do though.
Speaker 1: Because like even with the pool stuff, they talked to.
Speaker 3: Justin after we sent the mean email, after I sent
Speaker 3: the scathing email saying how dare you?
Speaker 2: You promised that this was not going to hold our delay?
Speaker 1: And you were like call him, call him, call him,
Speaker 1: call him. I'm like, I'm going to call him, get
Speaker 1: up right now and go call him. And when I
Speaker 1: called him and it went to his voicemail. You know
Speaker 1: why I went to his voicemail because he was on
Speaker 1: the phone with our builder trying to figure it out.
Speaker 3: Because I sent a text message to his daughter saying
Speaker 3: I will not promote this company and I will not
Speaker 3: like tell my neighbors because of you. You said that
Speaker 3: this would not delay our closing. So I just said,
Speaker 3: speak on your word or tell us like call us.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear this third hand from like
Speaker 3: the builder come to us and say, you know what,
Speaker 3: I messed up on the timing because I have, you know,
Speaker 3: all these all these pieces, and it's just been so
Speaker 3: frustrating because I'm like, if not, then we're gonna have
Speaker 3: to get in our storage unit to store all the stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm just more the one that just all right, let's
Speaker 1: let's talk to everybody involved, let's figure this out, and
Speaker 1: then we'll go from there.
Speaker 4: So clearly this is a stressful situation. How is this
Speaker 4: affecting your relationship? Because I think the best couples, which
Speaker 4: I count you among those, you do, of course, right,
Speaker 4: fight more off and bicker more off or not get
Speaker 4: more off in these stressful situations.
Speaker 1: Have you found that to be the case? No? No, Well,
Speaker 1: that's good, and I think it's it's because and I
Speaker 1: give Janner credit for that too, actually now that you
Speaker 1: bring it up, because she's able to understand how my
Speaker 1: personality works. So she understands that I'm a little bit
Speaker 1: more lasi faire, I'm a little bit more political. He
Speaker 1: came know, And I understand that Janna needs to She
Speaker 1: can't not say something immediately, she can't, So I understand
Speaker 1: that she needs to do that. I understand that I'm
Speaker 1: going to to kind of balance that and be the
Speaker 1: one that actually talks to these people and finds a
Speaker 1: solution respectfully and put in and professionally. Well, Janna threatens
Speaker 1: their firstborn. So we just we we know how each
Speaker 1: other operate and we just need to work good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think we don't. We're kind of pass the
Speaker 1: days of trying to convince each other that our way
Speaker 1: is the way to do things.
Speaker 3: Look, I'm saying I need I need definite help with
Speaker 3: some those areas and not being so on the on
Speaker 3: the gun and I'm and I'm working on that. I
Speaker 3: just know though that that text message did have the
Speaker 3: builder then call or the the guy then called our
Speaker 3: builder to say, hey, I don't want to be the reason, right.
Speaker 1: And I and I credit you where you know, our
Speaker 1: builder said we're going to be a month behind, and Jenna.
Speaker 2: Kind of yeah.
Speaker 3: There was like we're going to be you can't move
Speaker 3: until the end of July, and I was like, we're
Speaker 3: going to be in an RV then because our airbnb
Speaker 3: is we only have it for a month.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So Jana basically sent a pretty aggressive email that
Speaker 1: I would have worded a little differently, but it was
Speaker 1: in that moment it was effective because next thing, you know,
Speaker 1: he got all of the other third party contractors to
Speaker 1: work on the same timeline and work together so they're
Speaker 1: able to make up that month. So you know, that's
Speaker 1: the situation where it worked where I where I probably
Speaker 1: wouldn't have gotten just because something like this, I understand
Speaker 1: there's going to be delays totally, you know, so I'm
Speaker 1: a little bit more leaning on that. But because Jenna
Speaker 1: scared the death into.
Speaker 3: This port shut off, no, I just said, please, you
Speaker 3: know this is there's a lot of moving I.
Speaker 1: Said, please say, that's exactly what you said.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of sv there's a lot of moving parts.
Speaker 3: So whatever you can do on your end would greatly help.
Speaker 3: I mean, we're moving with two kids. You know, it's
Speaker 3: got dogs, we got we got stuff everywhere. So anyways,
Speaker 3: but end of the day, this is all champagne problems.
Speaker 3: We're extremely blessed to be moving into a new house.
Speaker 3: We are we are excited. We have started to begin
Speaker 3: the the process of grieving the old Nashville and welcoming
Speaker 3: the new Nashville, which has been you know, we just
Speaker 3: had a kind of a rough session the other day.
Speaker 2: But it's it's good. It's we're we're excited.
Speaker 1: We're gonna attack it together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm really excited because we have two fantastic guests.
Speaker 3: But I'm gonna take a quick little break and then
Speaker 3: I'll fill you in.
Speaker 4: We should tell them who it is, and then because
Speaker 4: the first one's ready to go. Next, what Christina's on?
Speaker 1: Next?
Speaker 3: So we should all right, Oh she's here, Yeah, fabulous, Okay,
Speaker 3: all right, So we have Christina Kouzmick who's in studio,
Speaker 3: and I'm super pumped to have her because she's she's
Speaker 3: really rocking the whole how the truth be authentic and
Speaker 3: I think that's definitely something that.
Speaker 2: We at wine down.
Speaker 1: She's got a great story.
Speaker 3: To embrace, so we are have her and then Mark,
Speaker 3: am I allowed to say the other one?
Speaker 2: Okay, but I can kind of tease it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. And then, honey, what.
Speaker 2: We have a special guest for you?
Speaker 1: Who would be a special guest for me? Like, honestly,
Speaker 1: who I really care about that much? You are Michael Scott?
Speaker 2: Who's that?
Speaker 1: I think that's a fictional character.
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Is that the guy from the office? No, but gosh,
Speaker 3: that would be that had been a good one.
Speaker 1: But no, don't say anymore. Yes and no.
Speaker 3: So we're going to play a game that I want
Speaker 3: you to play a game? Will I be able to
Speaker 3: guest from from his voice? We can't tell you that
Speaker 3: I already said his.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's his. It's gonna be so much.
Speaker 5: I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: I can't wait.
Speaker 5: Let's take a break.
Speaker 1: When we were brushing our teeth the other morning, Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you notice? You know we've been trying to We
Speaker 1: always brushed her always teeth that night, and we've been
Speaker 1: trying to get her to her own in the morning, right,
Speaker 1: And the other day was the first time we were
Speaker 1: both brush our teeth and she was in the living room.
Speaker 1: She saw what we were doing and went and grabbed
Speaker 1: her new Quip toothbrush. She did because it looks just
Speaker 1: like mom and Dad's. Yeah, and got She even brought
Speaker 1: her stool in from her bathroom. I know, I stood
Speaker 1: in the middle of our sinks.
Speaker 3: No, it was cute because again at night, like we
Speaker 3: brush our teeth. But I think in the morning it's
Speaker 3: been something fun for her to be like, all right,
Speaker 3: like it's time to brush your teeth, like before school.
Speaker 3: So it's nice that she's like, oh, like mom, mom
Speaker 3: and dad have a QUIP, I have a QUIP.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If you guys don't know what equip is, by the way,
Speaker 3: they're amazing.
Speaker 2: Is a toothbrush.
Speaker 3: And it's great because it has a built in two
Speaker 3: minute timer, pulses every thirty seconds to remind you when
Speaker 3: to switch sides, and helped you to clean your mouth evenly.
Speaker 3: And what's great too, is a lot of times I
Speaker 3: forget to throw away my toothbrush, but since I've been
Speaker 3: using Quip, it's great because the brush heads are actually
Speaker 3: automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule every three months
Speaker 3: for just five dollars.
Speaker 1: And Quip is one of the first first electric toothbrushes
Speaker 1: accepted by the American Dental Association. They're backed by over
Speaker 1: twenty five thousand dental professionals and they have thousands of
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Speaker 3: Good news too for the MoMA's out there. So the
Speaker 3: new Quip Kids Brush is the same as the original version,
Speaker 3: So they just tweaked down for a little you know,
Speaker 3: sized down mouse, which again it's really important for the
Speaker 3: kids to develop great habits with brushing their teeth for
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Speaker 1: Now in studio, we're very excited. We have pretty much
Speaker 1: missed everything. Christina uz.
Speaker 3: Uh and I just love this, so I have It's
Speaker 3: an evening with Christina Kuzmik Hope and Humor Tour.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is the twenty city to where I'm on
Speaker 5: and I'm so excited and having so much fun.
Speaker 3: So we just did a mini tour for this, and
Speaker 3: it was like, it's the great Like to have that interaction, Yes,
Speaker 3: is so incredible.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I hear from you know, moms or just
Speaker 5: anybody in general that follows me online. But it's so
Speaker 5: different reading a comment or meeting them face to face
Speaker 5: and he has their story and I love it. Right now,
Speaker 5: I've done eight, You've done eight?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Wow, everything's been going great.
Speaker 5: It's been amazing. I basically wrote this one woman show.
Speaker 5: It's almost two hours including intermission, and we call it
Speaker 5: the Hope and Humor Tour because it's a lot of
Speaker 5: comedy that everybody can relate to. I tell funny stories about,
Speaker 5: you know, being a mom, and then also I shared
Speaker 5: the message of like how I went from being almost
Speaker 5: homeless and depressed to like loving my life now. So
Speaker 5: my whole goal was I want to leave everybody. Everybody
Speaker 5: that leaves, I want them to feel not only like
Speaker 5: less alone. Oh my gosh, I can relate to that.
Speaker 5: I've been through that, I can laugh at that. Wait,
Speaker 5: I'm normal, like which we all wonder am normal, but
Speaker 5: also just feeling stronger and braver, and you know, I
Speaker 5: feel like a cheerleader for parents. I'm like, I want
Speaker 5: to make you feel like a badass.
Speaker 3: No, totally, that's kind of what we were talking about.
Speaker 3: We're like, wow, it was like that was like we
Speaker 3: were comedians, but then we're also like therapists, a motivators.
Speaker 3: Like they left with they laughed, but they also left
Speaker 3: with a takeaway. I left with something they could be like, wow,
Speaker 3: like I want to change my relationship this way. I
Speaker 3: don't know, it's just it's such a cool thing, and.
Speaker 5: It's the best combination because I think humor is like medicine,
Speaker 5: and then we need that little bit of therapy, you know,
Speaker 5: and support.
Speaker 2: So what I mean, what can is it?
Speaker 3: Is it primarily just for the moms or was it
Speaker 3: like a mom's night out kind of thing.
Speaker 5: That's what I sort of thought of it because most
Speaker 5: of my following are parents, But then a lot of
Speaker 5: men have been showing up single dads, which has been amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 5: And then through the meet and greet, I've met so
Speaker 5: many people who are like, I've never had kids, I
Speaker 5: don't even want kids. But your message of how you
Speaker 5: went from hating yourself to loving yourself like he resonates
Speaker 5: with me or the things you talk about insecurity wise,
Speaker 5: because we all have insecurities. So it's been really wonderful
Speaker 5: to see that the message is resonating with people who
Speaker 5: have no interest in.
Speaker 3: Being parents, right, and then you can just kind of
Speaker 3: tap into both of those things in the message.
Speaker 2: Yeah, by the way, I love your necklace.
Speaker 5: Thank you. It is so old.
Speaker 3: I've noticed I love it older than my children. No,
Speaker 3: it's so I'm going to take a picture of that
Speaker 3: when you leave because it's so pretty. I love them,
Speaker 3: but I used to wear one like every day. Like that,
Speaker 3: I just went super off topic. So when you say
Speaker 3: basically homeless, what does that mean?
Speaker 5: So after my divorce, I just wanted to sort of
Speaker 5: tiptoe out of the marriage and not cause any more drama.
Speaker 5: I felt bad because I was the one initiating the divorce,
Speaker 5: even though you know, I felt like I needed to leave,
Speaker 5: and so I asked for no child support. I just
Speaker 5: left and started working like two three part time jobs.
Speaker 5: Could only afford to share a bedroom with my little kids,
Speaker 5: so we had a roommate in another room, and I
Speaker 5: couldn'tven afford a bed, I slept on the floor. I
Speaker 5: ended up on food stamps and was laid for rent
Speaker 5: almost every month, begging my landlord please please please, like
Speaker 5: don't kick us out. Had every homeless shelter in our
Speaker 5: area like written down a piece of paper because I
Speaker 5: was like, I can't. My kids were one and a
Speaker 5: half and three when I left. So you where was.
Speaker 2: Your husband or ex husband at the time.
Speaker 5: He lived like an hour away, okay, and so, and
Speaker 5: he would have them most weekends. So on the weekends,
Speaker 5: I would just work, work, work, work, work, Yeah, And
Speaker 5: I just sunk into this like depression and just felt like,
Speaker 5: you know, my kids, says, are so much better, Why
Speaker 5: did they get such a loser mom who can't even
Speaker 5: like put food on the table. I had a friend
Speaker 5: who worked at Starbucks, and he convinced his manager, you know,
Speaker 5: when the food goes stale, they're not bad, like you're
Speaker 5: not gonna get sick, but they're just stale. He convinced
Speaker 5: him to give them to me. So like he would
Speaker 5: bring me a bag of Starbucks and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 5: feeding my kids like stale food, you know, I just
Speaker 5: and so then I started contemplating suicide because I thought
Speaker 5: maybe maybe my kids would be better off if I
Speaker 5: was just non I know, I know it's now when
Speaker 5: I think about it, and it breaks my heart that
Speaker 5: even went there and then slowly started sort of what
Speaker 5: I realized is I have to change my perception of
Speaker 5: meat before my life can change. You know, a lot
Speaker 5: of times away for life to change in order to
Speaker 5: change your attitude towards life. When you got to change
Speaker 5: your attitude for and then life will change. And so
Speaker 5: I just got really proactive about my life and I
Speaker 5: got really feisty, and I just slowly I always tell
Speaker 5: people nothing happens overnight, don't expect to happen overnight. But
Speaker 5: I just slowly built my life into you know, I'm
Speaker 5: in a place where I can't even imagine, Like I
Speaker 5: can't even imagine being in that place again. You know,
Speaker 5: how did.
Speaker 2: You get yourself out of that?
Speaker 3: Because I think that's the hardest thing for you know,
Speaker 3: I've been there too, where you just so depressed and
Speaker 3: it's it's so it's like you just got to do it,
Speaker 3: like tomorrow's a it. It's like it's that's so much
Speaker 3: easier said than done. Oh but everything is easier said then, Yeah,
Speaker 3: brushing your teeth is easier, said the Yeah, I just
Speaker 3: don't do it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm with you. So for me, the turning point,
Speaker 5: as I call it, was deciding to instead of focusing
Speaker 5: on everything I don't have and everything i'm not and
Speaker 5: everything I can't do, I'm going to look for the
Speaker 5: tiny things, even if they seem insignificant, of what I
Speaker 5: can do and who I am. And it started with
Speaker 5: something really simple. The only thing I can think of
Speaker 5: is I am really confident in cooking. I know how
Speaker 5: to cook a great meal on a very tiny budget.
Speaker 5: And so I was like, well, okay, what was it.
Speaker 5: Who cares well any meal? Like I just love cooking,
Speaker 5: And you know, my first thought was like, so what,
Speaker 5: That's not going to change your life. And then my
Speaker 5: second thought was I'm going to do something crazy. So
Speaker 5: I sent an email to all my friends in the
Speaker 5: area and I said, again, I'm broke at this point,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, Everyondnesday night, I'm going to feed people.
Speaker 5: So if you know someone who's struggling financially, or maybe
Speaker 5: an elderly personal lost their spout and they're lonely, I'm
Speaker 5: going to feed people. And I went to the nine
Speaker 5: nine cent store and literally spent like four bucks. I'm
Speaker 5: like just pasta or whatever, and made this big meal.
Speaker 5: And I get choked up every time I say this,
Speaker 5: But that first Wednesday, I've fed over thirty people.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 5: And I just that was my turning point because I went, oh,
Speaker 5: my gosh, I am feeling worthless. I feel like I
Speaker 5: have nothing to offer. I shouldn't be here. And hear
Speaker 5: these people the next day are emailing me and saying
Speaker 5: I needed that night. I need a company. I need it.
Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean? And then I went, well,
Speaker 5: what else can I do? So just focusing on that
Speaker 5: little thing. A lot of times we think my talents
Speaker 5: aren't significant, my gifts don't matter, but like, take them
Speaker 5: and do something with them, and all of a sudden
Speaker 5: you're going to feel so empowered. So that's probably my
Speaker 5: biggest piece of ice. Stop focusing on what you aren't
Speaker 5: and what you can't do, and just find that little
Speaker 5: bit of that you're confident in and do something great
Speaker 5: with that. It'll give you, you know, it'll show you
Speaker 5: how much you're worth and how much you matter.
Speaker 1: Wow. That's so that's so hard, so inspiring, but so
Speaker 1: hard because like you said, but even now, I feel
Speaker 1: like at times you wait for life to put something
Speaker 1: in front of you, right, you're like, well, when I
Speaker 1: get my big break, I'll then i'll know what to do.
Speaker 1: So the fact that you're able to do that and
Speaker 1: change your mindset while being in that place is truly inspiring.
Speaker 1: I hope people really hang on to that. How did
Speaker 1: no go ahead?
Speaker 5: I was just gonna say, I feel like we waste
Speaker 5: a lot of our life waiting for this or that
Speaker 5: to happen. We start fully living our life, no question,
Speaker 5: and no one's going to show up at your door
Speaker 5: with like, here's a box of happy.
Speaker 1: Life.
Speaker 5: Doesn't know you exactly, It doesn't know you actly. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think that's because I mean, I'll even get frustrated,
Speaker 3: you know, with you, because you'll be like, well, I
Speaker 3: don't know why people want to come and listen to,
Speaker 3: like to me, And I'm like, because people are learning
Speaker 3: and they're they're getting great advice from you. So it's
Speaker 3: like and then so I'm trying to tell them, like, hey,
Speaker 3: you need to talk to this person to do more
Speaker 3: speaking engagements, and I'm just like you, like, but I
Speaker 3: can't force the person to do it.
Speaker 5: No, we have to realize on our own how much
Speaker 5: we actually have to offer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think until you can realize that, that's
Speaker 3: when you can actually tap into all those things, because
Speaker 3: I can only Chris jenerate you so.
Speaker 1: Far right, that's true. No, But I think that comes
Speaker 1: that is a testament because that's how it is. And
Speaker 1: I think it's about insecurity and about feeling good enough,
Speaker 1: especially in something that you're not used to doing. Where
Speaker 1: my former career of football and athletics, it's you start
Speaker 1: from a young age. And it's again it's I say
Speaker 1: this all the time. It's a it's a linear thing.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's a tangible, it's on paper, what you
Speaker 1: can do. What you're worth is there's a number right
Speaker 1: there for it, you know. So so my whole life
Speaker 1: I'm used to having that behind me of like what
Speaker 1: I'm worth, and now into a brand new field life
Speaker 1: without sports, I don't I don't have anything to show.
Speaker 1: I have nothing behind me. It's like, hey, this is
Speaker 1: what I'm good at. It's like, well, I played sports
Speaker 1: my whole life. What do I have a show give?
Speaker 2: But now you have.
Speaker 1: No That's what I'm saying. Now it's just for me
Speaker 1: to feel more confident. It's to build my resume up
Speaker 1: on things instead of going straight to the top.
Speaker 2: How do you build it when you don't start it?
Speaker 1: Because of the things that were doing, people moving forward trying
Speaker 1: to So how did you how did you get connected
Speaker 1: with with Oprah? And and and you know, hirs was
Speaker 1: it Oprah search for the Next TV Star and all that.
Speaker 5: So that's an insane story. So I get remarried eventually,
Speaker 5: and my husband's in grad school and I'm still broke,
Speaker 5: so we don't even go on a honeymoon. I did
Speaker 5: not marry for money the second time. And and so
Speaker 5: like the day after our wedding, he's like, what do
Speaker 5: you want to do? Like you have so much energy,
Speaker 5: and you have so much passion, and you've just been
Speaker 5: in survival mode, like just trying to keep these kids alive.
Speaker 5: I'm here now. I want to support you. What do
Speaker 5: you want to do? And so he handed me as
Speaker 5: car keys and I drove around five hours and I
Speaker 5: came back and I said, those Wednesday night dinners I
Speaker 5: did for people saved my life. I literally feel like
Speaker 5: they saved my life. And I'm even more passionate cooking now.
Speaker 5: I'm going to make some cooking videos and put them
Speaker 5: on YouTube, thinking nothing of it, and then somebody sees
Speaker 5: one of the videos. This is like weeks after I
Speaker 5: posted my first video, somebody sees it and sends me
Speaker 5: an email and says, oh my gosh, I love your personality.
Speaker 5: You should enter the Opra competition. I'm like, I don't
Speaker 5: have a work in television. I have no idea where
Speaker 5: you're talking about. So he sent me a link.
Speaker 2: I knew who Oprah was.
Speaker 5: I knew. I mean I grew up in Croatia.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm Croatian.
Speaker 5: No, you're not.
Speaker 3: Barbarica Sokovich was my great grandma. My grandma was born
Speaker 3: in Zagreb.
Speaker 5: That's where I was born.
Speaker 2: Really, Oh my god. Oh we had lost cousins. Got
Speaker 2: to talk.
Speaker 5: I'm actually going June fifteenth for three weeks. I take
Speaker 5: my kids every.
Speaker 2: Summer family did I still have cousins like my lost cousins.
Speaker 5: With me June fifteenth. We'll grow We were.
Speaker 2: Actually moving to a new house like that week. But okay,
Speaker 2: any other time next year we'll go.
Speaker 5: Okay, but anyway, and so, so yeah, obviously I knew Opros. Anyway,
Speaker 5: I send in this sole audition tape thinking nothing of it,
Speaker 5: and within a few days it was Mark Burnett's people
Speaker 5: were producing the show. They call me, I go in,
Speaker 5: I meet with him, blah blah blah. Eventually end up
Speaker 5: on the reality show for Search for the Next to
Speaker 5: the start. Ten people made it and still just like
Speaker 5: in AWE can't even believe it's sure every week I'm
Speaker 5: the one going home and end up winning the whole thing.
Speaker 1: It was wow.
Speaker 5: I mean, but when you think this is this is
Speaker 5: what I keep telling people, life can surprise you in
Speaker 5: the worst of ways. I didn't expect to end up
Speaker 5: divorced and broke and stressed and suicidal, right, but life
Speaker 5: can surprise you in the best of ways. Because like
Speaker 5: two years before, I'm hanging out with Oprah and she's
Speaker 5: handing me a free car and a TV show. I'm
Speaker 5: sleeping on the floor, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 5: life is so crazy.
Speaker 3: And to that point too, it's there's so many times
Speaker 3: when even in our situation, it's like I wouldn't go
Speaker 3: back and change any of it because now look what
Speaker 3: we're doing with it, Like you're able to have this
Speaker 3: message and help people through it like we were. We
Speaker 3: went through that because we are. I had this now
Speaker 3: platform to be able to go out there and be
Speaker 3: there for other people, like it's it's awesome and to you, okay.
Speaker 1: And to your point, Christina, you know, if you'd just
Speaker 1: stayed in your misery and all that stuff, life wouldn't
Speaker 1: have surprised you in the way that I did. It
Speaker 1: was because you're doing those things. It's like karma in
Speaker 1: a positive way, you know, like you were rewarded.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were rewarded for sticking it out to help people,
Speaker 3: you know, when you were rewarded for sticking that out
Speaker 3: to now like how it's like it's okay because instead
Speaker 3: of taking the easy run out.
Speaker 5: I think one of the most dangerous things humans do
Speaker 5: is they get passive and empathetic about their life, and
Speaker 5: you just can't. You have to refuse. I'm going to
Speaker 5: be proactive to stay feisty every single day.
Speaker 2: Oh I love it. That's like you're just like my
Speaker 2: love language.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how Janet is. She doesn't know how to
Speaker 1: not be productive. So I try to level her out, like, hey,
Speaker 1: it's okay for us to like chill out for a minute.
Speaker 1: No can't. She can't just ten things at once all
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 3: Well, I just you know, I want to keep growing. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you have to keep thinking things and creating. And you know,
Speaker 3: it's like if I didn't create, you know, think like
Speaker 3: the live stuff.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 3: It's so we're doing too, Like there's so much you
Speaker 3: can do from that. Are you writing a book too?
Speaker 3: Or do you have a book out?
Speaker 1: I wrote it.
Speaker 5: It's coming out the beginning of twenty twenty. I just
Speaker 5: I was just in New York yesterday meeting with my
Speaker 5: publisher at Penguin. And it's called hold On, but Don't
Speaker 5: Hold Still. Oh, and it's which is sort of my thing,
Speaker 5: like hold on, you got this hang in there, but
Speaker 5: do not hold still. Be proactive, keep moving forward.
Speaker 1: How was that process for you writing book?
Speaker 5: It was like labor and delivery, except they didn't hand
Speaker 5: me a baby at dance. I was a kissed like
Speaker 5: labor and deliver with thout an abidural because this is
Speaker 5: my again. I grew up in Croatia and moved here
Speaker 5: in high school, learned the English, learned the English. Yeah,
Speaker 5: learned English as a teenager. Since I'm writing in a
Speaker 5: second language, even though I've lived here now longer than
Speaker 5: in Croatia, it's still like, so I was like feeling
Speaker 5: a little inadequate and then freaking wrote it and I'm
Speaker 5: proud of myself. Is your Yeah yep?
Speaker 2: Okay, well you're gonna have to come Visitess in Nashville.
Speaker 2: I will No, that's all, We're moving. I am coming
Speaker 2: over to your house and I'm making you Croatian dinner.
Speaker 5: Oh please tell me right now.
Speaker 3: My grandma makes the best dumplings and then she does
Speaker 3: this strtle too, like so good, and then you can
Speaker 3: we can call them because her and her boyfriend Vlada,
Speaker 3: they just speak croations to each other.
Speaker 6: Know.
Speaker 5: My older kids are Luke and Mateia and those are
Speaker 5: really yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think actually have a cousin named Luca, like
Speaker 2: one of the like a second or Luca.
Speaker 1: We need to get hurt can be a guest on
Speaker 1: one of our live shows.
Speaker 2: Yes, so we need to link up.
Speaker 5: Yeah, doing it in Croatian.
Speaker 3: All I know is so because I'm also German. So,
Speaker 3: but because my grandma when they my grandma met my
Speaker 3: grandpa in the speaking school like to speak English, so
Speaker 3: he was learning English from Germany and then she was learning.
Speaker 5: Way, have you been to Croatia?
Speaker 3: I've never been, but I've wanted to go with my
Speaker 3: grandma because it's it's beautiful, and I want to see
Speaker 3: because she, you know, she she wants to show me
Speaker 3: where you know, the bombings and her shelters, and you know,
Speaker 3: she said she used to eat hay and like about
Speaker 3: her whole story in Croatia. So I'm like, I really
Speaker 3: want to go there and see it because I heard
Speaker 3: it hurts beautiful, It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm going.
Speaker 5: To be just posting pictures is to make you jealous,
Speaker 5: just to make you.
Speaker 1: Fe and join me, she wrote, and then she book
Speaker 1: us a flight like the next day of it.
Speaker 2: We just became best friends.
Speaker 1: I'll easy there.
Speaker 2: So what is okay? Obviously you know your divorce, that
Speaker 2: you've been married now for how long?
Speaker 5: Nine years?
Speaker 2: Nine years?
Speaker 3: What is what is one thing you learned from the
Speaker 3: first now with your second?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you learn from the first marriage that
Speaker 1: you brought into your second one? I guess a learning tool.
Speaker 5: This might be a weird answer, but to not allow
Speaker 5: my insecurities to have as much power because they're not
Speaker 5: qualified for the job. And I think a lot of
Speaker 5: times we think about what we want more than what
Speaker 5: we need. And also I think we get so caught
Speaker 5: up in the romance and the love and like the feelings.
Speaker 5: And I was so cynical after my first divorce. I
Speaker 5: mean I literally was like, I wish I was a lesbian.
Speaker 5: I am never going to lip girl. Yeah, I was
Speaker 5: like men suck. And I was a waitress when you know,
Speaker 5: when I was struggling, and these couples would come in
Speaker 5: for like their tenth thirty ornithan of our and I'd
Speaker 5: be like, they're just pretending they hate each other like
Speaker 5: human being. And then when I met my current husband
Speaker 5: and we you know, I started liking and everything. I
Speaker 5: had those romantic feelings, but I kept asking myself, would
Speaker 5: you go into business with this person? Because let's be honest,
Speaker 5: I think sex is important. I think romance is important,
Speaker 5: all of it, but so much of marriage, especially raising
Speaker 5: kids and all that. It is a business. You're literally
Speaker 5: running a business. And if you wouldn't trust to run
Speaker 5: a business, or if if you don't you know, have
Speaker 5: strengths that complement each other, whatever, then don't do it.
Speaker 5: So I threw out it.
Speaker 2: I know that's a weird, man.
Speaker 5: I think it's very I'm romantic, but let's be honest,
Speaker 5: like the day to day life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's negotiating, it's compromising, it's setting boundary, it's figuring
Speaker 1: all that out.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, do you have the strengths that I don't do you?
Speaker 5: And are you a good listener? And do you respect me?
Speaker 5: And does my opinion matter? I mean all of it? Right?
Speaker 3: Oh it's funny. Yeah, you just have my husband if
Speaker 3: he was a good listener. Because the other day I
Speaker 3: was telling him something. I go, I know, I said,
Speaker 3: do you agree? And he goes, yeah, totally. He goes,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Wait what did you say? I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, you just agreed. It was just so
Speaker 3: enamored with how beautiful you are. I just think that's funny.
Speaker 3: What's one thing like in your marriage? Because I always
Speaker 3: think it's you know, it's so easy to blame, Like
Speaker 3: it's easy to blame my spouse for him doing something,
Speaker 3: but it's so much harder to look at your look
Speaker 3: at yourself in the mirror and evaluate yourself. So what's
Speaker 3: one thing that you could do better as a spouse
Speaker 3: and as a person.
Speaker 5: I need to be way more patient. I tend to be.
Speaker 5: It's it's interesting. I feel like sometimes our greatest weaknesses
Speaker 5: are our greatest strengths. In others, it is like, I'm
Speaker 5: impulsive and it's good because I put myself out there,
Speaker 5: but I need to be way more patient and I
Speaker 5: am a much bigger personality, and I think the bigger
Speaker 5: personality in the relationship sometimes needs to like make sure
Speaker 5: that the other person is being heard and seen because
Speaker 5: it's so easy for us not to even realize, like,
Speaker 5: wait a second, I'm kind of running the whole show
Speaker 5: here and I didn't even consider like where are you?
Speaker 5: Are you good?
Speaker 1: You know? See? I think that's interesting because I feel like,
Speaker 1: from a spectator of that personality, got you. I'm going
Speaker 1: to speak for both of y'all. You guys are probably like, well,
Speaker 1: they're not up to speed with me, that's their issue, Yes,
Speaker 1: that they're not as fast as I am. When really
Speaker 1: from a more understanding, empathetic place, it may be that
Speaker 1: it's like maybe thank us, though for me, maybe yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe I do need to take a step back and
Speaker 1: you know, be on the same level as them, and
Speaker 1: I start.
Speaker 5: Making a conscious, conscious decision to like every day ask
Speaker 5: my husband, hey, how are you doing? What do you need?
Speaker 5: What can I do to like make your day better
Speaker 5: because it's so easy for me to get caught up
Speaker 5: and all my stuff and I'm so hyper and blah blah,
Speaker 5: and I got kids. Just taking that moment to go,
Speaker 5: is there anything I can do for you today? Like?
Speaker 5: Is there anything you need?
Speaker 2: That's a really good takeaway?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we actually do that for each other pretty often.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to check in more often. I think
Speaker 2: that's kind of going.
Speaker 5: Okay, Can I can I tell you something that my
Speaker 5: husband I do every once in a while, that's like
Speaker 5: the best thing ever. Please, So if he texts me
Speaker 5: we started doing this before we were even married. If
Speaker 5: he texts me and says, hey, this is Philip. Obviously
Speaker 5: I know his number, right, But if he text me
Speaker 5: and says that, then I know what's happening, and I'll
Speaker 5: say oh hi, and he'll go So it was great
Speaker 5: meeting you. Can I take on a date?
Speaker 2: Oh super for us? No great idea?
Speaker 5: No, we are. We we go to a place we've
Speaker 5: never been and we completely play it up and then
Speaker 5: at the end when you get all it feels like
Speaker 5: the first time because you've played it up for like
Speaker 5: two hours. Sorry, too cheesy.
Speaker 3: No, super sweet would be really triggering. For us because
Speaker 3: of our Oh oh oh, okay's super sweet.
Speaker 2: But that's not trigger no, no, no, but it's super cute.
Speaker 2: Would be super cute, Yeah, just not for us.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't work for us. But no, it's a door
Speaker 1: love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Maybe one day, maybe one day we can make that work.
Speaker 5: No, I don't think, maybe you think so scratch, let's
Speaker 5: delete the whole part of the podcast.
Speaker 2: It's good, it's good.
Speaker 6: It's good.
Speaker 1: That's our reality.
Speaker 5: That's the things that we have to find out what
Speaker 5: works for And that's really important too. Like every couple
Speaker 5: is different, just like I always tell parents, like, parenting
Speaker 5: is not a science. Will works for one kid, oh
Speaker 5: one family won't work for you. You got to It's
Speaker 5: not a science. It's an art. You gotta do it.
Speaker 2: Paint your way, right, so you know what works for
Speaker 2: your relationship A million percents.
Speaker 1: Speaking the kids, there's one thing that's on.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, wait, can I can I tell her about
Speaker 3: the story about that one kid that I talked about
Speaker 3: in a in a previous episode, So because this will
Speaker 3: lead into your question. Okay, So my daughter was at
Speaker 3: a playdate and this kid was kind of being obnoxious
Speaker 3: and I walked in. He goes, no, parent's allowed, and
Speaker 3: I was like, well, actually I am allowed because i'm
Speaker 3: her parent, but I'm also her friend. And he goes,
Speaker 3: you're not a friend. He's like and I said, yes
Speaker 3: I am. And he goes, no, you're not a parent,
Speaker 3: can't be a friend. And I said, well, I am
Speaker 3: Jolie's friend and I'm also her parent, so I want to.
Speaker 2: Be like sitting up for my Now I'm like, you brat, but.
Speaker 3: And Jolie goes, yeah, my mom my friend, and I
Speaker 3: said that's right, Jolie. It was like the cutest thing ever.
Speaker 3: But then we read on your notes it said that
Speaker 3: you don't think go ahead, Mike.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, you said. She says, she's totally cool having
Speaker 1: your kids be mad at her because she's the parent
Speaker 1: the friend.
Speaker 5: So here's how I see it. It depends on how
Speaker 5: you define friendship. Right. So for example, when I'm at
Speaker 5: at my ex, I will not talk about it with
Speaker 5: my kids. I will talk about with my girlfriends, but
Speaker 5: not with my kids. I will not put you up boundaries.
Speaker 5: Let's say we have financial difficult difculties. I don't think
Speaker 5: a kid should carry that weight, you know, I mean,
Speaker 5: so There's also I do not wipe my friend's butts.
Speaker 5: If it was an emergency, I might take one for
Speaker 5: the team, but usually I don't. So I do feel
Speaker 5: like it.
Speaker 2: Do you hold her hair back?
Speaker 5: Though? Yes? Ok, But here's the main part of that.
Speaker 5: I think a lot of parents it becomes very important
Speaker 5: that their kid likes them at all times because our
Speaker 5: friends we usually like each other. Right, It's a different
Speaker 5: kind of relationship, and especially as your kids get older
Speaker 5: and become preteens and teens, you have to become okay
Speaker 5: with my kid doesn't like me one hundred percent of
Speaker 5: the time, and that's okay. My job isn't to be
Speaker 5: liked by them. My job is to raise decent, kind,
Speaker 5: amazing human beings, do you know what I mean? And
Speaker 5: so I think that's where it gets tricky. Are like, oh,
Speaker 5: but she's my best friend and I want her to
Speaker 5: like me, and so, okay, maybe I'll let her have this,
Speaker 5: and then you end up raising an entitled kid. Doesn't
Speaker 5: make sense, No, it does.
Speaker 3: I think it's just about having healthy boundaries around yeah,
Speaker 3: because the.
Speaker 5: Way I say it is like, I'm not my kid's
Speaker 5: best friend, but I am their ally. I'm the greatest cheerleader.
Speaker 5: I believe they can talk to me about anything without
Speaker 5: talking down at me. I believe they can come to
Speaker 5: me with anything, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I just still like personally saying that I am her.
Speaker 3: I can be her friend, but I can also be
Speaker 3: her mom and also discipline her and say that's okay.
Speaker 3: Like sometimes I don't like my friend, yeah, because she's
Speaker 3: telling me, she's calling me out, yeah, and that's okay.
Speaker 3: She can still be my friend and I can still
Speaker 3: be the mom. That's cause kind of how I looked
Speaker 3: at it too, because it makes sense. Times when I
Speaker 3: don't like my.
Speaker 5: Friend, that makes sense. I see a lot of people,
Speaker 5: though moms would just want to really be cool and
Speaker 5: liked yeah, and then it just you end up with
Speaker 5: kids you don't even want to hang out with when
Speaker 5: they're adults, Like I want to raise the kind of
Speaker 5: kids that actually enjoy hanging out with me.
Speaker 2: Why we can enjoy it exactly.
Speaker 1: I think that's a whole stigma around, that whole kind
Speaker 1: of when people say one way or the other because
Speaker 1: of that reason, there's so many parents out there that
Speaker 1: it's the whole concept now, right when a kid gets
Speaker 1: in trouble at school. They don't go to their kids
Speaker 1: and say what'd you do wrong? They go to the
Speaker 1: teacher and say, what'd you do wrong?
Speaker 5: I have a problem with that. I mean seriously, Like,
Speaker 5: I think too many parents are bailing their kids out.
Speaker 5: Here's the thing. We're worried about what makes our kid
Speaker 5: happy now instead of the long term? Right, And like
Speaker 5: you have to think long term what life lesson are
Speaker 5: there learning? Because our job is to raise them so
Speaker 5: we can let them fly, right, And if we're constantly
Speaker 5: rescuing them, they are not getting a realistic view of
Speaker 5: what life is like. So you know, I make my
Speaker 5: older two kids start doing their laundry at ten, and
Speaker 5: some of my friends are like, they're only ten.
Speaker 2: I'm like, really, only does our laundry now?
Speaker 1: See this?
Speaker 5: So you know how to press buttons on iPad? They
Speaker 5: know how to press buttons on a wash.
Speaker 3: But she she puts her clothes in the washer like
Speaker 3: that is part of her thing.
Speaker 2: Like, all right, Joel, it's time to do laundry.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: But I always think like happy now versus happy long term,
Speaker 5: Like getting a PAP smear doesn't make me happy in
Speaker 5: this moment, but in the long term, it's a good idea.
Speaker 5: So like Kid's like so uncomfortable making this rule right now.
Speaker 5: I know it won't make you happy, but in the
Speaker 5: long term, you're gonna endup being a better human being
Speaker 5: because of it.
Speaker 1: No question. I think it just comes back to what
Speaker 1: you said at the beginning. It's like, what's your definition
Speaker 1: of friendship? Right? So for Jane and I, it's someone
Speaker 1: who's going to call you on your someone who's got
Speaker 1: your back no matter what. Someone who's gonna love you
Speaker 1: but also be there to you know, steer you in
Speaker 1: the right way. So you know, for us, we it
Speaker 1: all depends on what exactly, and it depends on how
Speaker 1: you to find it depends on what that means for
Speaker 1: you personally. So but I always think it's interesting because
Speaker 1: we have come across people that are very don't go
Speaker 1: into the definition of friendship or very just like nope,
Speaker 1: I'm the parent. If they want to talk about this,
Speaker 1: then go to their friends and that.
Speaker 5: And that that's actually really bad.
Speaker 3: I think I think one of the most important I mean,
Speaker 3: I got into a fight it was with like Boris
Speaker 3: Kojo at our show. He was and I we end
Speaker 3: up just I just kind of stopped talking because he
Speaker 3: just was so strong in his opinion. And that's that's fine,
Speaker 3: that's his opinion. But I have a different opinion. That's
Speaker 3: okay too.
Speaker 5: See the whole creating an and again I'm speaking of
Speaker 5: someone who has an almost sixteen year old and a
Speaker 5: fourteen year old. Creating an environment where your kids will
Speaker 5: come and talk to you about anything and you will
Speaker 5: never shut them down. So important, because here's a huge
Speaker 5: Even young kids will come to us with uncomfortable questions
Speaker 5: and we're like, oh my gosh, where did you hear that?
Speaker 5: And if we say to them, we can't talk about that,
Speaker 5: or we'll talk about it when you're older. If you
Speaker 5: think that's going to stop them from asking to a friend,
Speaker 5: they're gonna start asking somebody else. Yeah, and you don't
Speaker 5: want them finding out from an eight year old who
Speaker 5: has a teenage sister about sex, right right, So my
Speaker 5: sixteen year old, I mean, he's a boy. He literally
Speaker 5: tells me stuff that I'm like, I'm sitting there and
Speaker 5: I act very You always got to act very like,
Speaker 5: oh sure, yeah, let's talk about that. That's great.
Speaker 1: In your head, you're like, what the Then.
Speaker 5: You hide in the closet with a big cake and
Speaker 5: a bottle of wine and you stress, eat and go
Speaker 5: what the hell?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: In front of them, you're like, oh yeah, sure, let's
Speaker 5: talk about that.
Speaker 1: I'm scared of those days. I'm scared of those days.
Speaker 1: But I can't wait to watch Janna squirm. She just
Speaker 1: hates that uncomfortable confrontation.
Speaker 5: Good teenagers are like, it's the hardest thing ever, But
Speaker 5: I just keep reminding myself it's so much harder being
Speaker 5: a teenager than parenting a teenager, and then all of
Speaker 5: a sudden, you feel so much more grace. And also
Speaker 5: there's something really cool about watching them turn into adults,
Speaker 5: Like slowly they're not to you, but just going wow,
Speaker 5: I understand her passions now. I mean, it's just it
Speaker 5: makes me emotional. It's really cool.
Speaker 1: Get a glimpse of who they're gonna end up being,
Speaker 1: little personality traits or whatever.
Speaker 3: Can we drink wine together? But yes, because I just
Speaker 3: really like you. I love.
Speaker 1: Everything.
Speaker 3: Well, it's like the baby steps that start in Nashville first,
Speaker 3: and then we'll go there. Okay, so where can our
Speaker 3: listeners find you?
Speaker 5: So I'm on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, on YouTube.
Speaker 5: It's all add Christina with a k k u z
Speaker 5: m ic and then if you go to Christina acousmic
Speaker 5: live dot com, all the cities for my tour are
Speaker 5: listed there. You guys should come. It's a really fun parents.
Speaker 2: Please is there? I'll look online after.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm gonna call over be like Nashville. Oh,
Speaker 3: please add the city? Yes, Risina Kuzmic. All right, I
Speaker 3: really like her.
Speaker 1: She was awesome.
Speaker 3: She's just very chill and she has a you can
Speaker 3: just tell she has a really good heart.
Speaker 1: She has great energy and it's one of those things
Speaker 1: where just being able to have the guests in studio
Speaker 1: and being able to read off their energy is really
Speaker 1: a benefit for us and getting to know them as
Speaker 1: a person. And her story is truly inspirational to from
Speaker 1: what she's been through and turn it into a successful brand. Yes,
Speaker 1: she is is amazing.
Speaker 3: I agree with you on that. Hey, Mark is a
Speaker 3: special guest. When when when is he calling in?
Speaker 1: How about ten minutes?
Speaker 2: In ten minutes?
Speaker 1: Got about ten minutes to play with here. I wasn't nervous,
Speaker 1: but now I am. It's like a ticking clock. Who
Speaker 1: could this possibly be?
Speaker 2: Can I just ask? Can I do a couple of
Speaker 2: yes or nose before he calls, and he can try
Speaker 2: and get.
Speaker 1: Ask you yes or no. Yeah, that'd be fun.
Speaker 3: Okay, fine, thank you allow allow it? Okay, so you
Speaker 3: get five, you get five some of them.
Speaker 4: But what if he figures it out for before the
Speaker 4: person calls. Then it kind of takes away the whole surprise,
Speaker 4: doesn't Why.
Speaker 1: You guys? I think obviously they haven't played games with
Speaker 1: Jana yet. This is actually rolled one one or two,
Speaker 1: not five three?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm crossing off two hands.
Speaker 1: There you go, all right, but I don't now I
Speaker 1: don't want to know.
Speaker 2: Just guess.
Speaker 1: Can I veto? Yes?
Speaker 4: You can bet you like if I feel like the
Speaker 4: answer will give it away too much? You answer no question, Yes,
Speaker 4: that's one I'm down to too.
Speaker 2: No, yes you are. I'm definitely crossing that off because
Speaker 2: that was a question. Good you have Mark?
Speaker 1: Is he an athlete? I'll allow it.
Speaker 2: No, you got one more question?
Speaker 1: I don't care. Thanks for coming to oneidde Is he tall?
Speaker 1: Mark's gonna have to look up this person's actual height.
Speaker 2: That's an I don't know.
Speaker 1: And tall tall is is six two or taller?
Speaker 2: Okay, then we're gonna have Mark answer this one.
Speaker 1: He's not tall?
Speaker 5: Oh deceiving. Oh this is so much fun.
Speaker 1: I love he's a non athlete and he's not tall.
Speaker 1: Nick Witard, Yeah sounds like Nick. I love you, Nick.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, how about an email. We'll we wait
Speaker 1: for the surprise.
Speaker 5: That was fun.
Speaker 2: I love games. Games are like my love language.
Speaker 1: Actually, I have back to back Nicole's how do you
Speaker 1: feel about that?
Speaker 5: Great?
Speaker 4: Aula is asking. She says, my fiance and I just
Speaker 4: got engaged. We already lived together, so that won't be
Speaker 4: a surprise, but I want to make sure we're stepping
Speaker 4: into this on the right foot. What things do you
Speaker 4: think are important for us to discuss and keep in
Speaker 4: mind before marriage? Do you have any tips that could
Speaker 4: help us start off things?
Speaker 1: Well, hmmm, yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you believe in therapy?
Speaker 3: That's a huge one because I think if the guy
Speaker 3: doesn't believe in therapy, if you guys run into issues,
Speaker 3: that's going to be a real hard.
Speaker 2: Thing to get over.
Speaker 3: And that would be really frustrating because if you're because
Speaker 3: there's a lot of guys I know, they would be like,
Speaker 3: I don't believe in therapy, and that always makes me
Speaker 3: kind of scratch my head. Like, I get why it
Speaker 3: might be uncomfortable. All Marks over there do not believe
Speaker 3: in therapy.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying that at all.
Speaker 4: I think that the average age that men get married at,
Speaker 4: whether it's the maybe late twenties, those guys aren't ready
Speaker 4: for therapy. I mean they are, like they don't know
Speaker 4: they are, and they won't admit they are. They still
Speaker 4: think they got the whole world figured out.
Speaker 3: Right, but they should be open though, to having that conversation.
Speaker 1: I don't yeh, I would have been at that age really, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 5: What about you, Bob?
Speaker 1: What about me?
Speaker 3: Like, would you have gone to therapy if things didn't
Speaker 3: go hey wire?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think so you would have had that yeah,
Speaker 1: because I enjoy talking stuff out. I mean I still
Speaker 1: was felt like I had the world figured out, like
Speaker 1: Mark said, But I've never been like opposed to it.
Speaker 1: Even when we first met and got together, I was
Speaker 1: on board. I'd never been to therapy.
Speaker 3: Before because I threatened you with therapy, you either better
Speaker 3: you better set here.
Speaker 1: No. But and I think you know, people have the
Speaker 1: misconception that they only need therapy when there's already problems agreed,
Speaker 1: But that's not the case.
Speaker 2: Totally agree.
Speaker 1: You can avoid a lot of problems by being proactive
Speaker 1: and going to therapy and having someone to talk to you,
Speaker 1: and doesn't even have to be couple therapy. You can
Speaker 1: avoid conflict in your relationship by going to individual therapy
Speaker 1: and just learning more about yourself and then sharing that
Speaker 1: with your partner.
Speaker 3: Sidebar though, I kind of feel like sometimes though therapy
Speaker 3: has then made their relationship like more arguments, Like there
Speaker 3: there was this one.
Speaker 1: Theory it depends on your therapy where I'm.
Speaker 3: Just like, are you trying to make us fight right now?
Speaker 3: You know, like we we left, now we're leaving worse
Speaker 3: off in her mind, she's.
Speaker 1: Like she's bringing issues at the surface that need to
Speaker 1: come out at some point.
Speaker 2: But then she's like, I don't know if this is
Speaker 2: going to work.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's the thing. You got to find
Speaker 1: a good therapist.
Speaker 3: I would if you're fiance is open and is intact
Speaker 3: with his feelings, I would like to know how he
Speaker 3: deals with issues. So I think that could really cause
Speaker 3: an interesting ripple.
Speaker 1: And how does she deal with issues? Well?
Speaker 3: Same like to talk about that, right, yeah, so like
Speaker 3: and to approach the closes off. It's like, how to
Speaker 3: help me when I'm in that situation or what would
Speaker 3: be good Like if she's the kind of person that
Speaker 3: doesn't want to have confrontation and needs a minute him
Speaker 3: going after her, I mean like, well talk to me,
Speaker 3: talk to me, talk to me, Like that's just going
Speaker 3: to cause an argument, right, So maybe they need a
Speaker 3: cool like how do they deal with confrontation and how
Speaker 3: do they deal with which is just a.
Speaker 1: Part of learning each other as you grow in your relationship, but.
Speaker 3: That might be important for us to discuss to keep
Speaker 3: in mind before marriage. That's a question, right, Yeah, how
Speaker 3: they deal with kids?
Speaker 2: Parenting?
Speaker 1: Yeah, religion, parenting style and kids all that.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm baffled by people have been married for years
Speaker 4: and realize the other person doesn't want kids the same
Speaker 4: way they do, or more or less or not at all.
Speaker 1: That you do need to discuss that ahead of time.
Speaker 2: Well here's the problem.
Speaker 3: So I can't say her name, but someone has been
Speaker 3: dating someone for a really long time, and she knew
Speaker 3: in the beginning that he didn't want kids. But now
Speaker 3: it's been eight years and she's and he still doesn't.
Speaker 3: But she's like, I just thought that maybe i'd get
Speaker 3: him there. But it's like, but you knew, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, woman out there doesn't think they can change a man.
Speaker 2: There, I mean, yes, most of them can.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, there's no question. I don't blame you guys
Speaker 1: for having those thoughts. Yeah, it's true, because but I
Speaker 1: think it's a similar thing young guys.
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't care. I'm just gonna you know, I'm
Speaker 4: living the party, laughing and having fun. But then as
Speaker 4: you get older, you know, we have our own version
Speaker 4: of a biological clock, you do start to think about
Speaker 4: that stuff.
Speaker 1: So I could see that changing.
Speaker 4: But of course, I mean, I think Michael and I
Speaker 4: would agree we're both better people because of our wives.
Speaker 1: There's no question I would be a train wreck.
Speaker 2: You know you wouldn't.
Speaker 3: It would have just like if we would have ended
Speaker 3: up getting divorced, I think you would have just it
Speaker 3: would have taken you another five to six years to
Speaker 3: clean up shop.
Speaker 1: Maybe post our relationship, like post divorce. Yeah, here's the
Speaker 1: fun game, guys. Let's talk about what would happen if
Speaker 1: Jane and I did get divorced.
Speaker 3: Like I just or or even if like we never met,
Speaker 3: like I think like you needed you, you might have
Speaker 3: married someone like maybe one of.
Speaker 1: Your if we never if we never met, it definitely
Speaker 1: would have been train wreck. Yeah, I don't know. It
Speaker 1: would have been a long time since I was able
Speaker 1: to settle down.
Speaker 3: Or I would have Maybe the type of girl you
Speaker 3: might have ended up picking might not have been.
Speaker 1: The one I should the kind of girl I should
Speaker 1: be with, or.
Speaker 2: That would like stay to help you through it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe who knows?
Speaker 2: Who knows? I would be in? Where would I be?
Speaker 2: I'd be in Georgia?
Speaker 1: Who knows?
Speaker 5: Who knows? Well?
Speaker 4: This transitions right well into the next Nicole's email, and
Speaker 4: I'm sorry you don't have this one, but it's just
Speaker 4: real quickly.
Speaker 5: I have it.
Speaker 1: No, that's anonymous.
Speaker 2: Oh, anonymous, I don't have it.
Speaker 1: I don't have it. I have it for here.
Speaker 4: Okay, but basically a nutshell married six years, two beautiful girls.
Speaker 4: How do you deal with wanting another child but your
Speaker 4: spouse says they're done. My husband says he does, he's
Speaker 4: Donnie doesn't want anymore. I absolutely want one more child.
Speaker 4: He will not even entertain the thought. How do you
Speaker 4: get over that feeling? Or how do you talk him
Speaker 4: into it?
Speaker 3: I think she needs to have a very deep conversation
Speaker 3: with him and say, hey, like, I truly want another kid.
Speaker 3: I feel like I might hold resentment if we don't
Speaker 3: have another one, okay, And I think because if she
Speaker 3: doesn't have that conversation, she is going to resent him
Speaker 3: for the fact that she wanted another one, okay, and
Speaker 3: he can then say, I will resent you.
Speaker 1: I was a devil's advocate. I'm him in this situation.
Speaker 1: I want to have a deep conversation with you, Honey.
Speaker 1: It's really important to me that we don't have another
Speaker 1: kid because I don't want to be raising any more
Speaker 1: kids until we're, however old, and I still want us
Speaker 1: to have our time in our life. And I will
Speaker 1: resent you, surreal, Well, you and I already done.
Speaker 2: But I don't know though he got a sect.
Speaker 1: Kind of matters very much.
Speaker 3: Matters, doesn't like Jason's sitting up now like I want
Speaker 3: another baby.
Speaker 1: It's not happening. Is this from you?
Speaker 4: You said maybe the time to say that would have
Speaker 4: been pre vasectomy.
Speaker 2: Well right now I'm saying this.
Speaker 1: Okay, get it temporary vasectomy. We'll figure it out later.
Speaker 3: She's I don't know, Nicole, that's tough maybe.
Speaker 1: But no, I think it's a good question though, because
Speaker 1: how how do you determine if both people are that way,
Speaker 1: both people are like, look, I will resent you or
Speaker 1: I'll feel a lot of resentment if you forced me
Speaker 1: your way or I force you my way. I mean,
Speaker 1: how do you know what's right?
Speaker 3: Well, if it depends how strong you feel about it,
Speaker 3: because I mean, look at our one friend, for example,
Speaker 3: she wanted a baby. She was married for ten years.
Speaker 3: He said, I do not want to have kids. She
Speaker 3: divorced them.
Speaker 1: Right, that's that's a baby. They have two, right, So
Speaker 1: you can make arguments for each where for her it's
Speaker 1: like he can say, honey, we have two beautiful kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why do you what inside of you makes you want
Speaker 1: to have a third?
Speaker 6: You know?
Speaker 1: And then she can kind of say the same thing
Speaker 1: back to then, like we already have two.
Speaker 3: It's so hard though, like for the one like Jason's
Speaker 3: sitting up, babe, he's not a baby anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jana said a while back, she was like one day,
Speaker 1: or I said in the car. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: one day, We're not even gonna have a crib in
Speaker 1: the house. She's like what, she was like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean?
Speaker 2: Jason?
Speaker 1: And girl, she's like, I don't know if I can
Speaker 1: handle that. I'm like, well, that's kind of the whole point.
Speaker 1: It's for kids to grow up.
Speaker 3: But then we can adopt or have another one. We
Speaker 3: can just like you need a lot of your reseectomy,
Speaker 3: you know, for.
Speaker 1: Me, And you may call it selfish. We have one
Speaker 1: of each and a third. When I just think about
Speaker 1: when they're all in school and they all have extracurricular activities,
Speaker 1: they have sports, they have recitals and all that, we
Speaker 1: will never have time for ourselves with three kids. This
Speaker 1: is my world.
Speaker 3: So here's my fear. And this might be an irrational fear.
Speaker 3: I'm afraid that when all the kids move out that
Speaker 3: maybe you won't like me anymore, so there wouldn't be
Speaker 3: like there's going to be all this that's.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm using you for our kids.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I mean, like, you know, because we're going
Speaker 3: to be so busy the next how many years their
Speaker 3: kids and the activities and everything going on, that when
Speaker 3: it's quiet and there isn't a kid in the house,
Speaker 3: are you going to like the person next to you?
Speaker 1: For sure? And to speak on that, but.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people have that weird.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's all the emptys emptyness syndrome.
Speaker 3: I mean it's because maybe they don't really like because
Speaker 3: a lot of people just stay together because their kids,
Speaker 3: and it's like do I even like my husband?
Speaker 5: That's possible.
Speaker 1: Well, and that's that's what we do all the work
Speaker 1: the way, thanks Anny, we do all the work that
Speaker 1: we do kind of also in preparation that where we
Speaker 1: don't just pass each other, which a lot of people
Speaker 1: get sucked into, understandably, so we even get we even
Speaker 1: see where we go a couple of days, right, like
Speaker 1: holy crap, like we haven't really talked or connected. Let's
Speaker 1: make that intentional time. So we're doing our work now
Speaker 1: and mention of that. And then also for me, from
Speaker 1: a selfish mindset, I'm looking forward to those days because
Speaker 1: that's kind of another reason I don't want a third.
Speaker 1: So you and I are still at a decent age
Speaker 1: to go do stuff together, to go travel, to hang out,
Speaker 1: to do stuff for us again, like that's gonna be
Speaker 1: so much fun.
Speaker 2: The kids are in school, they still want me, Like
Speaker 2: I feel like there might I feel like you would
Speaker 2: want to like trade up like younger or something or
Speaker 2: I don't know, like I feel like you wouldn't a
Speaker 2: younger version, suir. No, I guess it's just like a
Speaker 2: weird Maybe I don't know, Maybe I'm alone in that,
Speaker 2: maybe other women feel the same thing, but.
Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm sure male and female people might feel
Speaker 1: that way. But like and for me, like think about
Speaker 1: when we went for our anniversary, right, we went to
Speaker 1: Nobu and then we just sat in the back of
Speaker 1: my truck at the beach in Malibu, and that didn't
Speaker 1: go according to plan, but it was just cool. We
Speaker 1: just hung out. Yeah, we laid there. We got there
Speaker 1: too early. We had like two hours till sunset. It
Speaker 1: was like a hurricane wind ten out and it was
Speaker 1: so we had to lay like bunker it in the
Speaker 1: back of my truck, like to get out of the wind.
Speaker 1: But we just laid there and hung out. And how
Speaker 1: much fun did we have? We laughed, we'd played get
Speaker 1: like it was fun. And we focus on twenty thirty nine, right,
Speaker 1: that's true. Focus on today. We have a long even
Speaker 1: though today even though it goes fast, it goes fast.
Speaker 1: Anyone with older kids, like you know more can say
Speaker 1: it goes so fast. Enjoy every member. Right, we still
Speaker 1: have a long time. We have eighteen years.
Speaker 2: So that's what I'm saying. You've eighteen years to like
Speaker 2: not like me, foor, I.
Speaker 1: Have eighteen years to fall even more in love with
Speaker 1: you and like you that much more.
Speaker 3: Thanks babe, class half full kind of guy for here.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, watch the world burn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pessimism.
Speaker 3: I'm are you guys ready for the special guest? Because
Speaker 3: I'm so excited I don't know if I'm special guest?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 3: Hello, Hey, So you have Jana and Mike and thank
Speaker 3: you so much for calling in. So can I just
Speaker 3: play quick little game with you? Because my husband doesn't
Speaker 3: know who who you you are right in this moment?
Speaker 2: He will know?
Speaker 3: But can we play the yes or no game? Because
Speaker 3: he's he's actually obsessed with you, and so the fact
Speaker 3: that he doesn't know right now isn't Michael? You get
Speaker 3: You get three guesses okay, yes, yes or no?
Speaker 2: And he has to he has to answer.
Speaker 1: Are you an entertainment yeah? Are you? Do you have
Speaker 1: brown hair?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 1: Are you handsome? Yes?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 1: I have no idea.
Speaker 2: You can ask one more?
Speaker 1: Why you narrow down the entertainment worlds? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Narrow down a little bit?
Speaker 1: Then? Are you an actor?
Speaker 3: No, No, he's literally doing a graph right now on
Speaker 3: a piewspaper.
Speaker 1: Blonde handsome? Why do you think blonde not brunette?
Speaker 6: That my hair is kind of blackish brown, blackish brown.
Speaker 5: This is so good.
Speaker 2: Keep going with.
Speaker 3: Not an athlete, not an actor? What would be another entertainment?
Speaker 1: What's another entertainment?
Speaker 2: What do I do?
Speaker 1: Sing?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Singer? Are you a singer? Yeah? Okay, singer? And are you.
Speaker 6: Tall?
Speaker 2: We already said, remember you already guess that?
Speaker 1: Do you sing country music?
Speaker 6: Sometimes?
Speaker 1: M sometimes this is killing me?
Speaker 2: Why don't you just sing a little something that he
Speaker 2: would know?
Speaker 1: Okay, be really embarrassing. Don't know this you will.
Speaker 6: Okay? Expla driving me? Just need one March.
Speaker 1: I just saw you guys.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, thank you so much for coming on
Speaker 3: our show.
Speaker 1: So sure, what's what's wow?
Speaker 6: You know?
Speaker 1: Janna told me like I'll be starstruck and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: and I told her, I was like, who, Like, I
Speaker 1: don't get starstruck. And we just saw you guys in Vegas.
Speaker 1: I was like, she wouldn't know because that's like the
Speaker 1: only people.
Speaker 3: So Sean so so so we we stood in the
Speaker 3: meet and greet line.
Speaker 2: So my husband we.
Speaker 3: He's I said, you know, bucket list person, like who
Speaker 3: would be your bucket list starstruck, you know, person that
Speaker 3: you would you would want to meet, And he said,
Speaker 3: you know, boys to men, And so I knew you
Speaker 3: guys were doing a residency in in Vegas and so
Speaker 3: you know, we our producer Amy Sugarman got us the
Speaker 3: tickets and we got the meet and greets, and he
Speaker 3: was so nervous, like so nervous to meet you guys.
Speaker 3: And he was like, you know, tall, he's six foot six,
Speaker 3: like bald, tall dude, and he's going I was like, honey,
Speaker 3: just like breathe just breathe, like you're gonna be okay.
Speaker 3: Like you know, he played in the NFL and so
Speaker 3: he's you know, he's met like a bunch of people.
Speaker 3: But he was like so nervous to meet you. And
Speaker 3: then he didn't even and I was going to say something,
Speaker 3: but then I didn't want to embarrass him. But like
Speaker 3: he really wanted to have a conversation with you know,
Speaker 3: with you and you guys, and so I think, like,
Speaker 3: I mean, I know you still enjoyed meeting them, but
Speaker 3: it's still like, you know.
Speaker 1: You probably know the business works, so we know how
Speaker 1: these meet and greets are, but it's one of those things, right,
Speaker 1: and a meet and greet is different than since sitting
Speaker 1: down and having the conversation with these people or or
Speaker 1: whatever it may be.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, that's very true. And well now you have
Speaker 6: to combo down, bro, man, So what up?
Speaker 2: Now you got to ask a bunch of questions.
Speaker 1: No pressure. Man. First of all, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming on and taking the time. Man, I really
Speaker 1: appreciate it. And Honey, thank you as well. My pleasure.
Speaker 6: I hope you enjoyed the show in Vegas.
Speaker 1: I did, man, you guys are still doing it, and
Speaker 1: that it.
Speaker 3: Was a little sour because I didn't get a rose,
Speaker 3: But that's fine.
Speaker 1: Jan is too literal to get up there and push
Speaker 1: every one out of the way to get one of those.
Speaker 6: It really is natural selection these girls fight.
Speaker 1: They were fighting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were out, man, the lines were out.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's gotta be a good feeling that after
Speaker 1: all these years, you guys still get that kind of
Speaker 1: reaction and that kind of love, Like, did you ever
Speaker 1: think it was it was gonna last this long?
Speaker 6: Uh? Well it might sound pretentious, but I so hoped it.
Speaker 5: Did you know.
Speaker 6: We all love new music, and we got into this
Speaker 6: to do this for a long time. I mean, rather
Speaker 6: once we got signed and things started to get sering,
Speaker 6: we wanted to find ways to figure out how long
Speaker 6: we could make these things last. And it's not a
Speaker 6: perfect blueprint. There's no guidebook for any of this. You
Speaker 6: kind of just follow your instincts. You're making mistakes, you stumble,
Speaker 6: but you hope that your talent and your gifts to
Speaker 6: sing or perform, and you love to perform and sing
Speaker 6: out ways at all, somehow you you know, you fight
Speaker 6: through it, and you you still continue to do it
Speaker 6: throughout all the METS. And we've been through a lot
Speaker 6: of mets, and we're so honored still to be here
Speaker 6: doing things and people still love our music. No, Lie,
Speaker 6: I'll be on stage sometimes and I'll look over the
Speaker 6: crowd and I'm staying to myself, what are they doing here?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: We're crying and we're singing along to every single word?
Speaker 3: Like that's I mean the amount of times that I
Speaker 3: sing your guys of songs and I cooked to you
Speaker 3: guys in the kitchen and my husband and I are driving,
Speaker 3: you know, around town, like listening to your songs it's
Speaker 3: you're so the nostalgi nostalgia nostalgic. I can never say
Speaker 3: word nostalgia in this is. I mean, it's, you know,
Speaker 3: we grew up listening to your guys' music, and.
Speaker 6: You know what, And that's the biggest compliment ever, the
Speaker 6: fact that people still get it. People still get and
Speaker 6: they understand what it is that we were trying to do.
Speaker 6: As far as I'm concerned, mission accomplished like we did.
Speaker 6: We did exactly what we wanted to do, which was
Speaker 6: make music that people could listen to and use for
Speaker 6: the rest of their lives.
Speaker 3: And it stands a test of time too. I mean
Speaker 3: it's it's still like the songs aren't just as freaking
Speaker 3: good as they were twenty years ago.
Speaker 1: And that's that's a testament to y'all's talent, right, because
Speaker 1: that's the thing with music or any kind of entertainment.
Speaker 1: It's people feel like they have to conform to society
Speaker 1: and what the what the supplying demand is and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. But you guys have just done you since
Speaker 1: they won. I mean, y'all are legends, man like legends,
Speaker 1: and that I mean does that I mean, like you
Speaker 1: said at the beginning, you hoped it would last this long.
Speaker 1: But I mean to get to us, you guys are legends.
Speaker 6: It's underlable, it's pretty, it's a it's an honorable thing. Sure,
Speaker 6: it's an honor too be even called that title, you
Speaker 6: know what I mean, Like it's I blow that off
Speaker 6: because it's like that's such a heavy crown to wear.
Speaker 6: But it's like it's still so nice that people look
Speaker 6: as look at us in that regard. And all we
Speaker 6: can do with that is to not you know, be
Speaker 6: buttholes about it, right, you know, just just take it in,
Speaker 6: enjoy it and still do I bet without with throughout
Speaker 6: all the years. If anything, it doesn't make us arrogant.
Speaker 6: It just makes us feel more determined and responsible to
Speaker 6: do greater things, and and that that's what we're always
Speaker 6: trying to.
Speaker 1: Do, no question. And I think you know, just from
Speaker 1: Senior Show in Vegas, just the humility you guys have
Speaker 1: with your presence, the way you guys were at meet
Speaker 1: and greet, the way you guys even are on stage,
Speaker 1: and the way you interact. It's just a testament to
Speaker 1: y'all as as people and as human beings. Because there's
Speaker 1: so many stories out there where somebody meets, you know,
Speaker 1: the their their bucketless person or someone they've always looked
Speaker 1: up to, and then they get that negative response from
Speaker 1: them because they let things get to them. And it's
Speaker 1: so that's again a testament to you guys as men
Speaker 1: and human beings. And for me, you I mean the
Speaker 1: Boys Men Boysmen album was the first album I ever bought.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, the very.
Speaker 1: First one that I ever bought as a kid. And
Speaker 1: you know, it's funny to say that because I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm thirty two. I don't you know, I'm a grown
Speaker 1: man now and being a kid on paper, I am
Speaker 1: on paper, I'm a grown man at home. It's a
Speaker 1: little different. So is that is that something that you
Speaker 1: guys take care like, damn we feel old? Or is
Speaker 1: it one of those things where it is a compliment that, man,
Speaker 1: I've been listening to you since I was a kid.
Speaker 6: You know, at this day and age, being old is
Speaker 6: damn cool. Absolutely, I like being old because it's only
Speaker 6: one alternative, and you know, I'd rather be called old
Speaker 6: yet still prove to people that being old does it
Speaker 6: mean you're your your wash stuff or your you can't
Speaker 6: do the things that you used to do when you
Speaker 6: were younger. I like, I like just selling myths like
Speaker 6: that and things of that nature. Like that's been most
Speaker 6: of my career with my guys. There's been a lot
Speaker 6: of well you can't and still is but or not so.
Speaker 6: But that's the cool thing about being alive. You get
Speaker 6: to prove people wrong. So I'll be I'll be old,
Speaker 6: I'll be considered old.
Speaker 2: I love that. So you're doing you have a solo
Speaker 2: song out now?
Speaker 6: Yes, I have a solo song out, and I also
Speaker 6: have a solo EP. Again, just trying to stretch the boundaries,
Speaker 6: not necessarily trying to do the whole typical cliche thing
Speaker 6: where you do guys it right now? Well, you know,
Speaker 6: don't I don't get that. I don't understand why a
Speaker 6: guy who's in the group goes solo and just has
Speaker 6: to leave the group completely, Like why why.
Speaker 1: Do not do both?
Speaker 6: Like, you know, take some time off to do you
Speaker 6: and then do the group and go back and.
Speaker 3: Perfectly do it because it works for everybody that way too,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 6: It works for everybody. Yeah, And this is just more
Speaker 6: or less a creative effort for me to go out
Speaker 6: and stretch out as an EP entitled Sean and it's
Speaker 6: out now download on iTunes. It's five songs. It's just
Speaker 6: strictly R and B music that you hang with it with,
Speaker 6: with your loved one with, cruise down the street with,
Speaker 6: you can cook your food with, you can make a
Speaker 6: little love with, like you know, it's it's it's basically
Speaker 6: the things that people would expect from somebody like me.
Speaker 6: But it's just without the two other guys in the group.
Speaker 1: And how are the guys with that? Are they super
Speaker 1: supportive of you and and doing that thing.
Speaker 6: They're extremely supportive and they you know, they give their
Speaker 6: critiques and you know, things of that nature, and which
Speaker 6: is what I appreciate. And you know, by just keep
Speaker 6: it moving.
Speaker 3: From that point, what part of the business has have
Speaker 3: you seen it change that you don't like?
Speaker 6: How long does the show?
Speaker 1: Uh uh?
Speaker 6: Well, I think it's the the generational gap that at once,
Speaker 6: at one point there was never a gap, like from
Speaker 6: my generation respected the artists that came before years before,
Speaker 6: Like we had conversations and talks and actual shows with
Speaker 6: the Temptations and Stevie Wonder and the Four Tops and
Speaker 6: you know, Michael Jackson and guys that you know came
Speaker 6: before us and we would have powers with them and
Speaker 6: learn and they would tell us stuff and teach us
Speaker 6: things and and all this other stuff. Just like what
Speaker 6: I've noticed in this generation is that, yeah, they acknowledged that.
Speaker 6: We were just talking about this yesterday, me and my guys.
Speaker 6: But the respect is gone. It's like they don't. They
Speaker 6: don't they last the ability to show respect, not necessarily
Speaker 6: you know, be a kiss at, but you know, understand
Speaker 6: who's in front.
Speaker 2: Of you, who who was before you, who paved the
Speaker 2: way for you.
Speaker 6: Right, and not only that, understand that their ability still remains.
Speaker 6: There's still very much impact, right. And you know, I
Speaker 6: hate to make it a black white thing, but it's
Speaker 6: it's normally with with you know, black artists, right, I
Speaker 6: said in AWE, when I see eighty thousand people show
Speaker 6: up to a Rolling Stone concert and they're each about
Speaker 6: one hundred and forty five years old there and they
Speaker 6: still rock out. And you see of course fans that
Speaker 6: probably are the same age, and then you see their kids. Right,
Speaker 6: Like the respect and the legacy of the of the
Speaker 6: respect that the legacy is there, and I just wish
Speaker 6: the same thing you know for artists like myself and
Speaker 6: you know other artists too, that the younger generation embraces, uh,
Speaker 6: the stuff that we did and still continue to do.
Speaker 6: And we're willing participant in wanting to show them things
Speaker 6: and wanting to teach them and have them learn because
Speaker 6: that's what was bestowed upon us. So we just want
Speaker 6: to carry on this tradition and teach these kids. But
Speaker 6: they seem like a lot of them just don't want
Speaker 6: to be taught.
Speaker 1: Out.
Speaker 6: Well, you know, Michael Jordan said something about sports when
Speaker 6: he said, you know, money destroyed the game, and to
Speaker 6: some degree, it's the same thing with the music industry.
Speaker 6: These kids, thanks to streaming and downloads and Instagram and
Speaker 6: and you get instant gratification if you're you know, have
Speaker 6: something out there that people can see. People come popular
Speaker 6: so quickly without any type of proper guidance, so instantly
Speaker 6: they feel like, oh, well, you can't tell me enough
Speaker 6: right now, you get right, you know, I'm look at this,
Speaker 6: Look at all these streams I got, you know, look
Speaker 6: at this this gold watch eye bought. Look at this car.
Speaker 6: You know, you know that's specify. Like, what are you
Speaker 6: going to tell me, old man that I don't already know?
Speaker 6: And I'm like, well, how to stay around maybe longer
Speaker 6: than two summers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they probably wouldn't be able to sell a record
Speaker 2: back then.
Speaker 6: So yeah, but that's that's the thing I think. I
Speaker 6: I I tend to It tends to make me because
Speaker 6: you see, it's almost like watching the kids drive a
Speaker 6: car off the cliff anyway, You're getting told them like, yo,
Speaker 6: don't do that, right, And I've seen so many do it,
Speaker 6: and so many do it constantly. Every you hear artists
Speaker 6: here today, gone today, and that that's that dad to me,
Speaker 6: and they don't want to you know, a lot of
Speaker 6: them don't want to listen. So but that's one of
Speaker 6: the main things. I think. There's a few of us,
Speaker 6: but I think that's the one that kind of sticks out,
Speaker 6: mainly because we were just the guys and I were
Speaker 6: just disgusting that.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh yeah, that totally makes sense. And now, Sean,
Speaker 1: outside of music, do you have any other kind of
Speaker 1: things that you're getting into business wise or for yourself.
Speaker 6: I do have. My wife and I have an indoor
Speaker 6: playground and woodland hills. Yeah. Yeah, we love kids. And
Speaker 6: it's funny because when our kids were younger. My sons
Speaker 6: just turned sixteen May thirtieth, so, you know. But when
Speaker 6: they were bathy, we would throw parties for them and
Speaker 6: their friends to come over, and all their parents would
Speaker 6: just coming. Oh my god, you guys throw the best parties,
Speaker 6: you know what I mean. And my wife is like,
Speaker 6: you know, we should make this a business one day
Speaker 6: and well on and behold. We have an indoor playground
Speaker 6: in Woodland Hills called Shooty Goots, which is uh, it
Speaker 6: is a big thing that I gave my twin boys.
Speaker 6: We just we just kind of named it the company
Speaker 6: that and oh my gosh, I'm.
Speaker 3: Looking right now online and it looks adorable and we're
Speaker 3: taking our Is it open on weekends or is it
Speaker 3: closed on weekends because a lot of these.
Speaker 6: Places normally it's clods on weekends for party, but it is,
Speaker 6: but it is open on the weekdays. Cut it's fun,
Speaker 6: it's clean, it's comfortable for the kids and the parents.
Speaker 6: The parents can sit, they can get their work done,
Speaker 6: they could make their business calls and not worry about
Speaker 6: the kids wander off or anything like that. It's it's
Speaker 6: it's safe, you know. We we we tried to think
Speaker 6: of everything because my wife and I, between our three
Speaker 6: children have gone through gone to every playground indoor, outdoor
Speaker 6: in the Valley of Los Angeles. So we just took
Speaker 6: the things that we liked and the things that we
Speaker 6: didn't and we incorporated uh that into our own space.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: Well, Sean, I cannot thank you enough for calling in.
Speaker 3: I know you have a million things to do, because
Speaker 3: we know how important you are and everything you've paved
Speaker 3: the way for for you know, and for music, and
Speaker 3: you know, we just we really truly do you know,
Speaker 3: idolize you guys and Boys to Men and so we're excited.
Speaker 3: We're going to download your EP and not you know what, Yeah,
Speaker 3: we're going to download streaming a lot. We're gonna buy it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you very very much. And yeah, I appreciate
Speaker 6: the call you guys. You actually woke me up because
Speaker 6: I have to go to a sound check.
Speaker 2: Well good morning, babe.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I have a great day.
Speaker 3: We so appreciate it. And everyone needs to go see
Speaker 3: Boys to Men at their residency. It continues June seventh,
Speaker 3: Tickets at ticketmaster dot com. Sean, Thank you so much, Sean.
Speaker 1: Thank you brother. I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 6: Man, No, thank you, thank you. Got a good woman.
Speaker 1: Yes, I do. I got a great one. Thanks, I
Speaker 1: can't buy Thank god, thank you.
Speaker 5: What do you think?
Speaker 1: Wow? That took me by surprise, Like.
Speaker 2: You didn't when he was like to sing, It's like,
Speaker 2: did you not know?
Speaker 1: No? I knew, but I'm like if someone singing boy like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why is this person not singing their song?
Speaker 1: Because we just saw them kind of wrote it off.
Speaker 3: Oh that's funny because I was like, Babe, it's boys some.
Speaker 1: Nuts, I know, because you already did that for me, right,
Speaker 1: But you.
Speaker 2: Didn't get to talk to him, so I felt bad.
Speaker 1: I know, Yeah, you totally blew that weekend. I'm just kidding. No,
Speaker 1: So that's what confused me. I'm like, why why is
Speaker 1: someone else singing singing boys and men right now?
Speaker 5: That is so funny.
Speaker 2: That's such a nice guy.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it was awesome.
Speaker 2: That's so cool.
Speaker 3: Did you ever think you're the boy that bought his
Speaker 3: first record? Not always men would ever talk to him
Speaker 3: on the phone in person too?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: I forgot to tell him that you bought that twenty
Speaker 3: dollars freaking binder.
Speaker 1: Over friend photo.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you've never wanted it.
Speaker 1: It was more like, okay, do you want like the
Speaker 1: twenty dollars just a file, or do you want to
Speaker 1: buy this for like five hundred dollars, Like, yep, five hundred,
Speaker 1: let's do it.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I didn't give
Speaker 3: you a chance. Fine, it was so cute, but now
Speaker 3: that was.
Speaker 1: Cool, Honey. I appreciate that. You just go above and beyond.
Speaker 2: Hey, thank Amy, she got the contact.
Speaker 1: Amy, you're the best.
Speaker 2: Give it up to the sug.
Speaker 1: The sug all right.
Speaker 3: That's we can't make that any but that's we're ending
Speaker 3: the show right now.
Speaker 1: There's nothing else, so the legend, all right,