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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Cossin and iHeart

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Speaker 1: Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: DA It's moving day, Moving day?

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Speaker 1: How stressed are you right now that you're not at

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Speaker 1: the house. It's directing the movers where to go.

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Speaker 3: I cannot run out of here fast enough because I'm

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Speaker 3: such a I would call myself an amazing delegator.

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Speaker 1: It needs to be a more intense word than amazing.

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Speaker 2: What does it need to be.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know. I can't come up with the

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Speaker 1: vocabulary for it.

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Speaker 3: I just I like to delegate and the fact that

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Speaker 3: I'm not there right now with the movers because we

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Speaker 3: had such a bad experience moving out of our national

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Speaker 3: house to hear because you.

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Speaker 1: Hired sixteen year old kids that were stealing all of

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Speaker 1: our stuff.

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Speaker 3: I did not hire six year old kids. They were

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Speaker 3: a company, and I don't think I could say the company,

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Speaker 3: but they hired sixteen year old kids, and they.

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Speaker 1: Stole our booze, tried to steal alcohol.

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Speaker 3: They tried to steal alcohol, and then they broke a

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Speaker 3: couple pieces of furniture, and then they threw all of

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Speaker 3: our stuff into the storage unit.

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Speaker 1: And it just it looks like everything's just short.

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Speaker 2: It looks like everything.

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Speaker 1: I was so angry that I couldn't be there.

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Speaker 4: Of all things to not skimp on, they say the

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Speaker 4: movers is one of them. It sounds like you guys

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Speaker 4: were cutting costs.

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Speaker 2: Michael, no stretching here, No, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: So I I somehow got in charge.

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Speaker 1: Of this some some somehow, she just somehow she didn't say,

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Speaker 1: I got it, I'll hire them, I'll be there. I

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Speaker 1: got it. You weren't even there when we moved, and

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Speaker 1: then for some reason you wanted to take a flight

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Speaker 1: out the same day, thinking oh yeah, the mover said

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Speaker 1: they'll be done by.

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Speaker 2: Three's what they said.

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Speaker 1: No one's ever done on time. How did you find

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Speaker 1: these people?

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Speaker 3: I used them before. It's you know, all of my brothers,

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Speaker 3: but changed the name.

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Speaker 1: That was the company.

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Speaker 3: They're a very big company, okay. And I called and

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Speaker 3: and they weren't the cheapest route, but they they did

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Speaker 3: a terrible job. But we did call and we talked

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Speaker 3: to the company and they gave us.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of money. But that's good.

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Speaker 3: But it's just going to break my heart because I

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Speaker 3: showed him when we went back to Nashville a couple

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Speaker 3: of weeks ago, I showed him what the storage and

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Speaker 3: it looked like and it literally looks like I mean,

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Speaker 3: there's broken side glasses and side tables and all our

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Speaker 3: faces look broken because they just threw.

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Speaker 2: It in there.

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Speaker 1: It looks like a dumpster at the dump where they

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Speaker 1: put all the furniture, but in his origin.

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Speaker 3: And that's my bad because I shouldn't have left that day.

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Speaker 3: But we were flying to fourth of July for vacation,

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Speaker 3: so I had everything planned, you know, and if people.

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Speaker 1: Aren't up to Jam's plan, it ruins everything.

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Speaker 2: Hey, I did already.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Anyways, anyways, this is the fact you're here right, So

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Speaker 3: here we are again, though we're it's still not there

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Speaker 3: for the move. Now we've got these movers, but I

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Speaker 3: trust this movie company.

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Speaker 4: My friend Chris Guy I used to know in Wisconsin.

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Speaker 4: He moved from Wisconsin to Florida recently, and he made

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Speaker 4: news on this because he went to the news to

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Speaker 4: try to bust these people. They loaded his stuff, They

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Speaker 4: made him pain care ash red flag. There were a

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Speaker 4: bunch of red flags and he didn't see his stuff

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Speaker 4: for like two and a half months. What And then

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Speaker 4: I was calm and saying, oh no, we got it.

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Speaker 4: It's common notes coming. Yeah, we got it. We will

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Speaker 4: be there Tuesday. Then they would show up Tuesday, and

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Speaker 4: his weeks and weeks and months went by.

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Speaker 1: He had to go in the local news.

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Speaker 4: It got picked up in different cities, Like he's really

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Speaker 4: because he went on a Facebook group and tons of

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Speaker 4: people have the same problem with the same company.

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Speaker 1: They just steal your stuff.

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Speaker 2: Whose company? What was it?

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Speaker 1: I should look up the name of the company.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you should.

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Speaker 1: But he ended up getting a stuff back.

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Speaker 4: A lot of it was broken and some of it

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Speaker 4: was stolen, but he got most of it back, and

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Speaker 4: he had already been convinced he was never getting any

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Speaker 4: of it back, so he considered that a win and

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Speaker 4: he's moving on.

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Speaker 1: But wow, you got to research.

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Speaker 4: And he'll be the first to admit he should have

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Speaker 4: done more research, the Yelp reviews, the better business for

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Speaker 4: bureau check, he.

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Speaker 1: Should have done all that back. He saw a great

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Speaker 1: deal and he took it. Yeah, that kind of stuff, you.

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Speaker 3: Got to Well, I we got this mover from Instagram

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Speaker 3: because when someone on Instagram, like I said, who's your

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Speaker 3: favorite moving companies? Oh yeah, and this girl was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: my brother's friend or whatever works for the company.

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Speaker 1: Well, they've been great because a guy that owns the

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Speaker 1: company came to the house.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Ryan, he's amazing.

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Speaker 1: He's been on a you know, direct line basis.

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Speaker 3: With North American Moving Company. This is not an ad,

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Speaker 3: but they've been great so far.

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Speaker 1: So that's why. But today, today is d day. Today

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Speaker 1: is when we find out how great they are.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 3: And I'm so stressed out i am. It's all champagne problems,

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Speaker 3: but I'm I'm, I am very stressed because we don't

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Speaker 3: actually know when we're closing on our house because things

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Speaker 3: keep getting.

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Speaker 1: This is my wife at her finest.

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Speaker 3: Well, no here, let me just break it down for

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Speaker 3: you guys. So we were told we were going to

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Speaker 3: close on the fourteenth okay.

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Speaker 1: Of May and June okay.

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Speaker 3: June okay, But something happened with their pool company, and

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Speaker 3: so I'm not going to say their name, no, but

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Speaker 3: so we again, we took out a loan to get

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Speaker 3: a pool because it's expensive a pool, right, So we

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Speaker 3: took out a loan over line of credit, and we

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Speaker 3: picked out the pool, and we tried to go a

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Speaker 3: little cheaper route because this other route was more expensive.

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Speaker 3: So but we all, I said, my number one thing

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Speaker 3: is I want a splash pad for the kids. I

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Speaker 3: wanted to be six to seven inches of water, something

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Speaker 3: that's great that we can sit in with a chair

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Speaker 3: or even just like a little kiddy splash pad, and

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Speaker 3: then the rest of it can be for the adults.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but because when I think a splash but I

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Speaker 1: think shooting, we didn't. We opted not for that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so just you know, just a regular splash pad.

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Speaker 3: And they're like, oh great, absolutely, like no problem at all,

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Speaker 3: totally totally it's gonna be amazing. So the girl that

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Speaker 3: works the company sent me a picture of the pool

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Speaker 3: when it was getting put into the ground, and I'm

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Speaker 3: looking at it and I was like.

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Speaker 1: We just have to do with the doory.

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Speaker 2: It's about the pool.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I think just wants to vent about her pool.

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Speaker 2: We got it fixed, but it's let me just in

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Speaker 2: a second.

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Speaker 3: So she sends me a picture of the pool and

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Speaker 3: I was like, that doesn't look like a splash pad.

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, hmm, this is interesting. So they put

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Speaker 3: the shell in the ground and then we go there

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Speaker 3: like a month or so later, and I was like, Michael,

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Speaker 3: where are they filling the water up to?

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Speaker 2: And he's like this line. I was like, how deep

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Speaker 2: is that? Two and a half feet? So me sitting

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Speaker 2: in the splash pad would be water up to my forehead.

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Speaker 2: So then I this is perfect? How is that perfect?

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Speaker 3: Because my daughter couldn't sit in that, My son will

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Speaker 3: like he will not be able to even be in

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Speaker 3: the pool at all. Now can't even sit because I'll

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Speaker 3: have to hold them above my head. Well I'm sitting

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Speaker 3: like like simba okay. So this is where I go bad.

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Speaker 3: This is where I need to learn to be a

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Speaker 3: better person, because I go straight to I email I sorry,

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Speaker 3: I text message the girl up. Where in your right

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Speaker 3: mind do you think that this is a splash pad

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Speaker 3: two and a half feet?

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Speaker 2: This is effing ridiculous. And I sent a picture of

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Speaker 2: me with the.

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Speaker 3: The the tape measure how is that to where to

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Speaker 3: where it was measured?

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Speaker 2: How is that?

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Speaker 6: Like?

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Speaker 5: Where?

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Speaker 3: Where in your brain? Is that perfect for kids? And

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Speaker 3: Michael's like, what is that going to do?

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Speaker 1: Do you want the solution or do you want their

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Speaker 1: their I want.

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Speaker 3: Their logic and that's the thing I want the logic of. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: what you thought like just like you know how you

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Speaker 3: say to me, Mike, why would you ask me a

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Speaker 3: question when I'm making a peanut butter and joy sandwich.

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Speaker 2: I want a little social awareness.

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Speaker 3: Situational awareness, Yeah, it's my favorite term, it's his favorite.

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Speaker 3: But I want to know like in your like seriously

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Speaker 3: right mind. And they've never answered that question, so it

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Speaker 3: really bothers me. So long story short, they had to

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Speaker 3: take the pool thing out and now we have to

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Speaker 3: pay more money because they're like, oh yeah, no, they

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Speaker 3: can't do a splash pad like that, so take out more.

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Speaker 3: So now they they're like, well, we promised this won't

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Speaker 3: delay your closing. We promised this will not delu this

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Speaker 3: will not delay I know, but let me just then,

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Speaker 3: this will not delay stop it right now, this will

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Speaker 3: not delay your your you're closing. Well, I'm about to

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Speaker 3: sit down and I'm reading an email and I got

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Speaker 3: an email from the builder saying we're now delayed because

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Speaker 3: your pool won't be done.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, are you Evan serious? I was like,

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Speaker 2: I am furious.

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Speaker 1: It's funny about this is this was all in the

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Speaker 1: last few days. Since then, before this episode, we've gotten

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Speaker 1: it taken care of. But I don't think that we

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Speaker 1: have We've had the solution.

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Speaker 2: I don't think we have.

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Speaker 1: We're back on track. I don't think Janna still has

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Speaker 1: those feelings out.

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Speaker 2: I don't think we are.

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Speaker 3: Why because it's because we still haven't gotten the email.

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Speaker 3: I mean, we are a week away from potential closing

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Speaker 3: and we still have not gotten an email from our

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Speaker 3: builders saying we can close. And I have a feeling

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Speaker 3: the pool company is going to somehow screw this up,

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Speaker 3: and I just like, screw it.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just and again again. What what like getting

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Speaker 1: after them and attacking them? What is that going to

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Speaker 1: solve when it comes to something as complicated as a

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Speaker 1: house finishing and closing.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you why.

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Speaker 1: I don't want them to rush.

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Speaker 2: I don't either.

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Speaker 1: I don't want them to half ask something. What's the

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Speaker 1: difference between a week?

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you what the difference is. Because your

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Speaker 3: wife has literally planned everything.

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Speaker 1: I know, because you had the movers come at the

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Speaker 1: first possible time that we could close.

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Speaker 2: I had to. There's no other way to be able

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Speaker 2: to share the moving truck with our friend Julie. So

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Speaker 2: that's the thing.

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Speaker 3: So the movers from here to Nashville, their delivery window

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Speaker 3: is the thirteenthrough the night.

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Speaker 1: There is no give. There's no leeway, there's no like

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Speaker 1: given risk are here?

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Speaker 3: Yes, I said the way planned it? No, but that

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Speaker 3: was was there that? Or we were going to pay

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Speaker 3: five thousand dollars more money? So this way we were

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Speaker 3: able to share a moving van with Julie. Would you

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Speaker 3: have done differently, Darling?

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Speaker 6: No?

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Speaker 1: I need you handled it perfectly.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm curious would you have handled it differently?

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Speaker 1: No, it's just no, it's just for me. I mean,

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Speaker 1: and we have different I think this is where we actually,

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Speaker 1: you know, counterbalance each other well, because there's times where

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Speaker 1: you get a bit of news and you just want

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Speaker 1: to immediately make that call, send that email, say what

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Speaker 1: the you know what the this, that and the other.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, honey, let's just give it a second.

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Speaker 2: Let's giving a second, do though.

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Speaker 1: Because like even with the pool stuff, they talked to.

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Speaker 3: Justin after we sent the mean email, after I sent

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Speaker 3: the scathing email saying how dare you?

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Speaker 2: You promised that this was not going to hold our delay?

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Speaker 1: And you were like call him, call him, call him,

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Speaker 1: call him. I'm like, I'm going to call him, get

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Speaker 1: up right now and go call him. And when I

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Speaker 1: called him and it went to his voicemail. You know

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Speaker 1: why I went to his voicemail because he was on

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Speaker 1: the phone with our builder trying to figure it out.

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Speaker 3: Because I sent a text message to his daughter saying

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Speaker 3: I will not promote this company and I will not

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Speaker 3: like tell my neighbors because of you. You said that

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Speaker 3: this would not delay our closing. So I just said,

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Speaker 3: speak on your word or tell us like call us.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to hear this third hand from like

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Speaker 3: the builder come to us and say, you know what,

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Speaker 3: I messed up on the timing because I have, you know,

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Speaker 3: all these all these pieces, and it's just been so

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Speaker 3: frustrating because I'm like, if not, then we're gonna have

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Speaker 3: to get in our storage unit to store all the stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm just more the one that just all right, let's

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Speaker 1: let's talk to everybody involved, let's figure this out, and

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Speaker 1: then we'll go from there.

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Speaker 4: So clearly this is a stressful situation. How is this

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Speaker 4: affecting your relationship? Because I think the best couples, which

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Speaker 4: I count you among those, you do, of course, right,

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Speaker 4: fight more off and bicker more off or not get

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Speaker 4: more off in these stressful situations.

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Speaker 1: Have you found that to be the case? No? No, Well,

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Speaker 1: that's good, and I think it's it's because and I

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Speaker 1: give Janner credit for that too, actually now that you

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Speaker 1: bring it up, because she's able to understand how my

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Speaker 1: personality works. So she understands that I'm a little bit

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Speaker 1: more lasi faire, I'm a little bit more political. He

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Speaker 1: came know, And I understand that Janna needs to She

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Speaker 1: can't not say something immediately, she can't, So I understand

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Speaker 1: that she needs to do that. I understand that I'm

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Speaker 1: going to to kind of balance that and be the

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Speaker 1: one that actually talks to these people and finds a

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Speaker 1: solution respectfully and put in and professionally. Well, Janna threatens

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Speaker 1: their firstborn. So we just we we know how each

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Speaker 1: other operate and we just need to work good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't think we don't. We're kind of pass the

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Speaker 1: days of trying to convince each other that our way

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Speaker 1: is the way to do things.

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Speaker 3: Look, I'm saying I need I need definite help with

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Speaker 3: some those areas and not being so on the on

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Speaker 3: the gun and I'm and I'm working on that. I

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Speaker 3: just know though that that text message did have the

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Speaker 3: builder then call or the the guy then called our

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Speaker 3: builder to say, hey, I don't want to be the reason, right.

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Speaker 1: And I and I credit you where you know, our

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Speaker 1: builder said we're going to be a month behind, and Jenna.

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Speaker 2: Kind of yeah.

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Speaker 3: There was like we're going to be you can't move

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Speaker 3: until the end of July, and I was like, we're

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Speaker 3: going to be in an RV then because our airbnb

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Speaker 3: is we only have it for a month.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So Jana basically sent a pretty aggressive email that

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Speaker 1: I would have worded a little differently, but it was

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Speaker 1: in that moment it was effective because next thing, you know,

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Speaker 1: he got all of the other third party contractors to

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Speaker 1: work on the same timeline and work together so they're

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Speaker 1: able to make up that month. So you know, that's

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Speaker 1: the situation where it worked where I where I probably

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have gotten just because something like this, I understand

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Speaker 1: there's going to be delays totally, you know, so I'm

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Speaker 1: a little bit more leaning on that. But because Jenna

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Speaker 1: scared the death into.

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Speaker 3: This port shut off, no, I just said, please, you

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Speaker 3: know this is there's a lot of moving I.

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Speaker 1: Said, please say, that's exactly what you said.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of sv there's a lot of moving parts.

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Speaker 3: So whatever you can do on your end would greatly help.

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Speaker 3: I mean, we're moving with two kids. You know, it's

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Speaker 3: got dogs, we got we got stuff everywhere. So anyways,

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Speaker 3: but end of the day, this is all champagne problems.

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Speaker 3: We're extremely blessed to be moving into a new house.

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Speaker 3: We are we are excited. We have started to begin

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Speaker 3: the the process of grieving the old Nashville and welcoming

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Speaker 3: the new Nashville, which has been you know, we just

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Speaker 3: had a kind of a rough session the other day.

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Speaker 2: But it's it's good. It's we're we're excited.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna attack it together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm really excited because we have two fantastic guests.

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Speaker 3: But I'm gonna take a quick little break and then

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Speaker 3: I'll fill you in.

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Speaker 4: We should tell them who it is, and then because

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Speaker 4: the first one's ready to go. Next, what Christina's on?

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Speaker 1: Next?

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Speaker 3: So we should all right, Oh she's here, Yeah, fabulous, Okay,

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Speaker 3: all right, So we have Christina Kouzmick who's in studio,

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Speaker 3: and I'm super pumped to have her because she's she's

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Speaker 3: really rocking the whole how the truth be authentic and

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Speaker 3: I think that's definitely something that.

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Speaker 2: We at wine down.

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Speaker 1: She's got a great story.

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Speaker 3: To embrace, so we are have her and then Mark,

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Speaker 3: am I allowed to say the other one?

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Speaker 2: Okay, but I can kind of tease it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. And then, honey, what.

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Speaker 2: We have a special guest for you?

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Speaker 1: Who would be a special guest for me? Like, honestly,

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Speaker 1: who I really care about that much? You are Michael Scott?

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Speaker 2: Who's that?

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Speaker 1: I think that's a fictional character.

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Is that the guy from the office? No, but gosh,

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Speaker 3: that would be that had been a good one.

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Speaker 1: But no, don't say anymore. Yes and no.

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Speaker 3: So we're going to play a game that I want

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Speaker 3: you to play a game? Will I be able to

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Speaker 3: guest from from his voice? We can't tell you that

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Speaker 3: I already said his.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's his. It's gonna be so much.

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Speaker 5: I'm so excited.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait.

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Speaker 5: Let's take a break.

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Speaker 1: When we were brushing our teeth the other morning, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: did you notice? You know we've been trying to We

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Speaker 1: always brushed her always teeth that night, and we've been

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Speaker 1: trying to get her to her own in the morning, right,

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Speaker 1: And the other day was the first time we were

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Speaker 1: both brush our teeth and she was in the living room.

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Speaker 1: She saw what we were doing and went and grabbed

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Speaker 1: her new Quip toothbrush. She did because it looks just

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Speaker 1: like mom and Dad's. Yeah, and got She even brought

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Speaker 1: her stool in from her bathroom. I know, I stood

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Speaker 1: in the middle of our sinks.

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Speaker 3: No, it was cute because again at night, like we

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Speaker 3: brush our teeth. But I think in the morning it's

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Speaker 3: been something fun for her to be like, all right,

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Speaker 3: like it's time to brush your teeth, like before school.

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Speaker 3: So it's nice that she's like, oh, like mom, mom

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Speaker 3: and dad have a QUIP, I have a QUIP.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: If you guys don't know what equip is, by the way,

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Speaker 3: they're amazing.

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Speaker 2: Is a toothbrush.

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Speaker 3: And it's great because it has a built in two

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Speaker 3: minute timer, pulses every thirty seconds to remind you when

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Speaker 3: to switch sides, and helped you to clean your mouth evenly.

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Speaker 3: And what's great too, is a lot of times I

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00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 3: forget to throw away my toothbrush, but since I've been

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00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 3: using Quip, it's great because the brush heads are actually

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Speaker 3: automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule every three months

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00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 3: for just five dollars.

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Speaker 1: And Quip is one of the first first electric toothbrushes

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00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,160
Speaker 1: accepted by the American Dental Association. They're backed by over

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Speaker 1: twenty five thousand dental professionals and they have thousands of

403
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Speaker 1: verified five star reviews like ours.

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Speaker 3: Good news too for the MoMA's out there. So the

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00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 3: new Quip Kids Brush is the same as the original version,

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Speaker 3: So they just tweaked down for a little you know,

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00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 3: sized down mouse, which again it's really important for the

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00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 3: kids to develop great habits with brushing their teeth for

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00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,840
Speaker 3: the grown up routine and it's like, you know, no

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00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,399
Speaker 3: childish commix on it. But that is why we love

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Speaker 3: Quip and why over one million happy healthy mouse do too.

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00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 3: So Quip starts at just twenty five dollars and if

413
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,480
Speaker 3: you go to get quip dot com slash Jana right now,

414
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 3: you can get your first refaill pack for free. That's

415
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 3: your first refaill pack for free at get quip g

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Speaker 3: e t qu ip dot com slash Jana.

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Speaker 1: Now in studio, we're very excited. We have pretty much

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Speaker 1: missed everything. Christina uz.

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Speaker 3: Uh and I just love this, so I have It's

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Speaker 3: an evening with Christina Kuzmik Hope and Humor Tour.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, this is the twenty city to where I'm on

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Speaker 5: and I'm so excited and having so much fun.

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Speaker 3: So we just did a mini tour for this, and

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Speaker 3: it was like, it's the great Like to have that interaction, Yes,

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Speaker 3: is so incredible.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because I hear from you know, moms or just

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Speaker 5: anybody in general that follows me online. But it's so

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Speaker 5: different reading a comment or meeting them face to face

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Speaker 5: and he has their story and I love it. Right now,

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Speaker 5: I've done eight, You've done eight?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Wow, everything's been going great.

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Speaker 5: It's been amazing. I basically wrote this one woman show.

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Speaker 5: It's almost two hours including intermission, and we call it

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Speaker 5: the Hope and Humor Tour because it's a lot of

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Speaker 5: comedy that everybody can relate to. I tell funny stories about,

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Speaker 5: you know, being a mom, and then also I shared

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Speaker 5: the message of like how I went from being almost

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Speaker 5: homeless and depressed to like loving my life now. So

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Speaker 5: my whole goal was I want to leave everybody. Everybody

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Speaker 5: that leaves, I want them to feel not only like

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Speaker 5: less alone. Oh my gosh, I can relate to that.

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Speaker 5: I've been through that, I can laugh at that. Wait,

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Speaker 5: I'm normal, like which we all wonder am normal, but

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Speaker 5: also just feeling stronger and braver, and you know, I

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Speaker 5: feel like a cheerleader for parents. I'm like, I want

446
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 5: to make you feel like a badass.

447
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 3: No, totally, that's kind of what we were talking about.

448
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,439
Speaker 3: We're like, wow, it was like that was like we

449
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 3: were comedians, but then we're also like therapists, a motivators.

450
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 3: Like they left with they laughed, but they also left

451
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,359
Speaker 3: with a takeaway. I left with something they could be like, wow,

452
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 3: like I want to change my relationship this way. I

453
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 3: don't know, it's just it's such a cool thing, and.

454
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,240
Speaker 5: It's the best combination because I think humor is like medicine,

455
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 5: and then we need that little bit of therapy, you know,

456
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 5: and support.

457
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,479
Speaker 2: So what I mean, what can is it?

458
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,399
Speaker 3: Is it primarily just for the moms or was it

459
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,719
Speaker 3: like a mom's night out kind of thing.

460
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 5: That's what I sort of thought of it because most

461
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 5: of my following are parents, But then a lot of

462
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 5: men have been showing up single dads, which has been amazing.

463
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.

464
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,879
Speaker 5: And then through the meet and greet, I've met so

465
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 5: many people who are like, I've never had kids, I

466
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,879
Speaker 5: don't even want kids. But your message of how you

467
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 5: went from hating yourself to loving yourself like he resonates

468
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,120
Speaker 5: with me or the things you talk about insecurity wise,

469
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 5: because we all have insecurities. So it's been really wonderful

470
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 5: to see that the message is resonating with people who

471
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,160
Speaker 5: have no interest in.

472
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 3: Being parents, right, and then you can just kind of

473
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 3: tap into both of those things in the message.

474
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, by the way, I love your necklace.

475
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 5: Thank you. It is so old.

476
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 3: I've noticed I love it older than my children. No,

477
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 3: it's so I'm going to take a picture of that

478
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,239
Speaker 3: when you leave because it's so pretty. I love them,

479
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 3: but I used to wear one like every day. Like that,

480
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 3: I just went super off topic. So when you say

481
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 3: basically homeless, what does that mean?

482
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,399
Speaker 5: So after my divorce, I just wanted to sort of

483
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 5: tiptoe out of the marriage and not cause any more drama.

484
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,679
Speaker 5: I felt bad because I was the one initiating the divorce,

485
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 5: even though you know, I felt like I needed to leave,

486
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 5: and so I asked for no child support. I just

487
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 5: left and started working like two three part time jobs.

488
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 5: Could only afford to share a bedroom with my little kids,

489
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 5: so we had a roommate in another room, and I

490
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 5: couldn'tven afford a bed, I slept on the floor. I

491
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 5: ended up on food stamps and was laid for rent

492
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 5: almost every month, begging my landlord please please please, like

493
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,439
Speaker 5: don't kick us out. Had every homeless shelter in our

494
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,119
Speaker 5: area like written down a piece of paper because I

495
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 5: was like, I can't. My kids were one and a

496
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,879
Speaker 5: half and three when I left. So you where was.

497
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 2: Your husband or ex husband at the time.

498
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,919
Speaker 5: He lived like an hour away, okay, and so, and

499
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 5: he would have them most weekends. So on the weekends,

500
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 5: I would just work, work, work, work, work, Yeah, And

501
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 5: I just sunk into this like depression and just felt like,

502
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 5: you know, my kids, says, are so much better, Why

503
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 5: did they get such a loser mom who can't even

504
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 5: like put food on the table. I had a friend

505
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 5: who worked at Starbucks, and he convinced his manager, you know,

506
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 5: when the food goes stale, they're not bad, like you're

507
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 5: not gonna get sick, but they're just stale. He convinced

508
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 5: him to give them to me. So like he would

509
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 5: bring me a bag of Starbucks and I'm like, I'm

510
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 5: feeding my kids like stale food, you know, I just

511
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 5: and so then I started contemplating suicide because I thought

512
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,239
Speaker 5: maybe maybe my kids would be better off if I

513
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 5: was just non I know, I know it's now when

514
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 5: I think about it, and it breaks my heart that

515
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,919
Speaker 5: even went there and then slowly started sort of what

516
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 5: I realized is I have to change my perception of

517
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 5: meat before my life can change. You know, a lot

518
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 5: of times away for life to change in order to

519
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 5: change your attitude towards life. When you got to change

520
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 5: your attitude for and then life will change. And so

521
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 5: I just got really proactive about my life and I

522
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 5: got really feisty, and I just slowly I always tell

523
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 5: people nothing happens overnight, don't expect to happen overnight. But

524
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 5: I just slowly built my life into you know, I'm

525
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 5: in a place where I can't even imagine, Like I

526
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,239
Speaker 5: can't even imagine being in that place again. You know,

527
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 5: how did.

528
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 2: You get yourself out of that?

529
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 3: Because I think that's the hardest thing for you know,

530
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,639
Speaker 3: I've been there too, where you just so depressed and

531
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 3: it's it's so it's like you just got to do it,

532
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 3: like tomorrow's a it. It's like it's that's so much

533
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 3: easier said than done. Oh but everything is easier said then, Yeah,

534
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 3: brushing your teeth is easier, said the Yeah, I just

535
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 3: don't do it.

536
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm with you. So for me, the turning point,

537
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,360
Speaker 5: as I call it, was deciding to instead of focusing

538
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,159
Speaker 5: on everything I don't have and everything i'm not and

539
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 5: everything I can't do, I'm going to look for the

540
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 5: tiny things, even if they seem insignificant, of what I

541
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 5: can do and who I am. And it started with

542
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 5: something really simple. The only thing I can think of

543
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 5: is I am really confident in cooking. I know how

544
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 5: to cook a great meal on a very tiny budget.

545
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 5: And so I was like, well, okay, what was it.

546
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 5: Who cares well any meal? Like I just love cooking,

547
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 5: And you know, my first thought was like, so what,

548
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 5: That's not going to change your life. And then my

549
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 5: second thought was I'm going to do something crazy. So

550
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 5: I sent an email to all my friends in the

551
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 5: area and I said, again, I'm broke at this point,

552
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 5: and I'm like, Everyondnesday night, I'm going to feed people.

553
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 5: So if you know someone who's struggling financially, or maybe

554
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 5: an elderly personal lost their spout and they're lonely, I'm

555
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,479
Speaker 5: going to feed people. And I went to the nine

556
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 5: nine cent store and literally spent like four bucks. I'm

557
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 5: like just pasta or whatever, and made this big meal.

558
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 5: And I get choked up every time I say this,

559
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 5: But that first Wednesday, I've fed over thirty people.

560
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: Wow.

561
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 5: And I just that was my turning point because I went, oh,

562
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 5: my gosh, I am feeling worthless. I feel like I

563
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 5: have nothing to offer. I shouldn't be here. And hear

564
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 5: these people the next day are emailing me and saying

565
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,440
Speaker 5: I needed that night. I need a company. I need it.

566
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean? And then I went, well,

567
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 5: what else can I do? So just focusing on that

568
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 5: little thing. A lot of times we think my talents

569
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 5: aren't significant, my gifts don't matter, but like, take them

570
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 5: and do something with them, and all of a sudden

571
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 5: you're going to feel so empowered. So that's probably my

572
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 5: biggest piece of ice. Stop focusing on what you aren't

573
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 5: and what you can't do, and just find that little

574
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 5: bit of that you're confident in and do something great

575
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 5: with that. It'll give you, you know, it'll show you

576
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 5: how much you're worth and how much you matter.

577
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 1: Wow. That's so that's so hard, so inspiring, but so

578
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: hard because like you said, but even now, I feel

579
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: like at times you wait for life to put something

580
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 1: in front of you, right, you're like, well, when I

581
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: get my big break, I'll then i'll know what to do.

582
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: So the fact that you're able to do that and

583
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: change your mindset while being in that place is truly inspiring.

584
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: I hope people really hang on to that. How did

585
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 1: no go ahead?

586
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 5: I was just gonna say, I feel like we waste

587
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 5: a lot of our life waiting for this or that

588
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 5: to happen. We start fully living our life, no question,

589
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 5: and no one's going to show up at your door

590
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 5: with like, here's a box of happy.

591
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: Life.

592
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 5: Doesn't know you exactly, It doesn't know you actly. Yeah.

593
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 3: I think that's because I mean, I'll even get frustrated,

594
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 3: you know, with you, because you'll be like, well, I

595
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 3: don't know why people want to come and listen to,

596
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 3: like to me, And I'm like, because people are learning

597
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 3: and they're they're getting great advice from you. So it's

598
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 3: like and then so I'm trying to tell them, like, hey,

599
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 3: you need to talk to this person to do more

600
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 3: speaking engagements, and I'm just like you, like, but I

601
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,239
Speaker 3: can't force the person to do it.

602
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 5: No, we have to realize on our own how much

603
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 5: we actually have to offer.

604
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think until you can realize that, that's

605
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 3: when you can actually tap into all those things, because

606
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 3: I can only Chris jenerate you so.

607
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 1: Far right, that's true. No, But I think that comes

608
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 1: that is a testament because that's how it is. And

609
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 1: I think it's about insecurity and about feeling good enough,

610
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 1: especially in something that you're not used to doing. Where

611
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: my former career of football and athletics, it's you start

612
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: from a young age. And it's again it's I say

613
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: this all the time. It's a it's a linear thing.

614
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: It's it's it's a tangible, it's on paper, what you

615
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: can do. What you're worth is there's a number right

616
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: there for it, you know. So so my whole life

617
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: I'm used to having that behind me of like what

618
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm worth, and now into a brand new field life

619
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: without sports, I don't I don't have anything to show.

620
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: I have nothing behind me. It's like, hey, this is

621
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: what I'm good at. It's like, well, I played sports

622
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 1: my whole life. What do I have a show give?

623
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: But now you have.

624
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: No That's what I'm saying. Now it's just for me

625
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: to feel more confident. It's to build my resume up

626
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: on things instead of going straight to the top.

627
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 2: How do you build it when you don't start it?

628
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 1: Because of the things that were doing, people moving forward trying

629
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 1: to So how did you how did you get connected

630
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: with with Oprah? And and and you know, hirs was

631
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: it Oprah search for the Next TV Star and all that.

632
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 5: So that's an insane story. So I get remarried eventually,

633
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 5: and my husband's in grad school and I'm still broke,

634
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 5: so we don't even go on a honeymoon. I did

635
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 5: not marry for money the second time. And and so

636
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 5: like the day after our wedding, he's like, what do

637
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 5: you want to do? Like you have so much energy,

638
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 5: and you have so much passion, and you've just been

639
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 5: in survival mode, like just trying to keep these kids alive.

640
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 5: I'm here now. I want to support you. What do

641
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 5: you want to do? And so he handed me as

642
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 5: car keys and I drove around five hours and I

643
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 5: came back and I said, those Wednesday night dinners I

644
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 5: did for people saved my life. I literally feel like

645
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 5: they saved my life. And I'm even more passionate cooking now.

646
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,479
Speaker 5: I'm going to make some cooking videos and put them

647
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 5: on YouTube, thinking nothing of it, and then somebody sees

648
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 5: one of the videos. This is like weeks after I

649
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 5: posted my first video, somebody sees it and sends me

650
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 5: an email and says, oh my gosh, I love your personality.

651
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,880
Speaker 5: You should enter the Opra competition. I'm like, I don't

652
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 5: have a work in television. I have no idea where

653
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 5: you're talking about. So he sent me a link.

654
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 2: I knew who Oprah was.

655
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 5: I knew. I mean I grew up in Croatia.

656
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: Oh I'm Croatian.

657
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 5: No, you're not.

658
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 3: Barbarica Sokovich was my great grandma. My grandma was born

659
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 3: in Zagreb.

660
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:25,400
Speaker 5: That's where I was born.

661
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 2: Really, Oh my god. Oh we had lost cousins. Got

662
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 2: to talk.

663
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 5: I'm actually going June fifteenth for three weeks. I take

664
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 5: my kids every.

665
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,919
Speaker 2: Summer family did I still have cousins like my lost cousins.

666
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 5: With me June fifteenth. We'll grow We were.

667
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 2: Actually moving to a new house like that week. But okay,

668
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 2: any other time next year we'll go.

669
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 5: Okay, but anyway, and so, so yeah, obviously I knew Opros. Anyway,

670
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 5: I send in this sole audition tape thinking nothing of it,

671
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 5: and within a few days it was Mark Burnett's people

672
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 5: were producing the show. They call me, I go in,

673
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 5: I meet with him, blah blah blah. Eventually end up

674
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 5: on the reality show for Search for the Next to

675
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 5: the start. Ten people made it and still just like

676
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 5: in AWE can't even believe it's sure every week I'm

677
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 5: the one going home and end up winning the whole thing.

678
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 1: It was wow.

679
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 5: I mean, but when you think this is this is

680
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 5: what I keep telling people, life can surprise you in

681
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 5: the worst of ways. I didn't expect to end up

682
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 5: divorced and broke and stressed and suicidal, right, but life

683
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 5: can surprise you in the best of ways. Because like

684
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 5: two years before, I'm hanging out with Oprah and she's

685
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 5: handing me a free car and a TV show. I'm

686
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 5: sleeping on the floor, do you know what I mean? Like,

687
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 5: life is so crazy.

688
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 3: And to that point too, it's there's so many times

689
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: when even in our situation, it's like I wouldn't go

690
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 3: back and change any of it because now look what

691
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 3: we're doing with it, Like you're able to have this

692
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 3: message and help people through it like we were. We

693
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 3: went through that because we are. I had this now

694
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: platform to be able to go out there and be

695
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 3: there for other people, like it's it's awesome and to you, okay.

696
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: And to your point, Christina, you know, if you'd just

697
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 1: stayed in your misery and all that stuff, life wouldn't

698
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 1: have surprised you in the way that I did. It

699
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: was because you're doing those things. It's like karma in

700
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 1: a positive way, you know, like you were rewarded.

701
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were rewarded for sticking it out to help people,

702
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 3: you know, when you were rewarded for sticking that out

703
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 3: to now like how it's like it's okay because instead

704
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 3: of taking the easy run out.

705
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 5: I think one of the most dangerous things humans do

706
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 5: is they get passive and empathetic about their life, and

707
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 5: you just can't. You have to refuse. I'm going to

708
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 5: be proactive to stay feisty every single day.

709
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 2: Oh I love it. That's like you're just like my

710
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 2: love language.

711
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how Janet is. She doesn't know how to

712
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: not be productive. So I try to level her out, like, hey,

713
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: it's okay for us to like chill out for a minute.

714
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,959
Speaker 1: No can't. She can't just ten things at once all

715
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 1: the time.

716
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: Well, I just you know, I want to keep growing. Yeah,

717
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 3: you have to keep thinking things and creating. And you know,

718
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 3: it's like if I didn't create, you know, think like

719
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 3: the live stuff.

720
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 6: You know.

721
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 3: It's so we're doing too, Like there's so much you

722
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 3: can do from that. Are you writing a book too?

723
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 3: Or do you have a book out?

724
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: I wrote it.

725
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 5: It's coming out the beginning of twenty twenty. I just

726
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 5: I was just in New York yesterday meeting with my

727
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 5: publisher at Penguin. And it's called hold On, but Don't

728
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 5: Hold Still. Oh, and it's which is sort of my thing,

729
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 5: like hold on, you got this hang in there, but

730
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 5: do not hold still. Be proactive, keep moving forward.

731
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 1: How was that process for you writing book?

732
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 5: It was like labor and delivery, except they didn't hand

733
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 5: me a baby at dance. I was a kissed like

734
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 5: labor and deliver with thout an abidural because this is

735
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 5: my again. I grew up in Croatia and moved here

736
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 5: in high school, learned the English, learned the English. Yeah,

737
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 5: learned English as a teenager. Since I'm writing in a

738
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 5: second language, even though I've lived here now longer than

739
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 5: in Croatia, it's still like, so I was like feeling

740
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 5: a little inadequate and then freaking wrote it and I'm

741
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 5: proud of myself. Is your Yeah yep?

742
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 2: Okay, well you're gonna have to come Visitess in Nashville.

743
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: I will No, that's all, We're moving. I am coming

744
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 2: over to your house and I'm making you Croatian dinner.

745
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 5: Oh please tell me right now.

746
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 3: My grandma makes the best dumplings and then she does

747
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 3: this strtle too, like so good, and then you can

748
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 3: we can call them because her and her boyfriend Vlada,

749
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 3: they just speak croations to each other.

750
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:58,239
Speaker 6: Know.

751
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 5: My older kids are Luke and Mateia and those are

752
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 5: really yeah.

753
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think actually have a cousin named Luca, like

754
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: one of the like a second or Luca.

755
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: We need to get hurt can be a guest on

756
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 1: one of our live shows.

757
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: Yes, so we need to link up.

758
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, doing it in Croatian.

759
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 3: All I know is so because I'm also German. So,

760
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 3: but because my grandma when they my grandma met my

761
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 3: grandpa in the speaking school like to speak English, so

762
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 3: he was learning English from Germany and then she was learning.

763
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 5: Way, have you been to Croatia?

764
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 3: I've never been, but I've wanted to go with my

765
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 3: grandma because it's it's beautiful, and I want to see

766
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 3: because she, you know, she she wants to show me

767
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 3: where you know, the bombings and her shelters, and you know,

768
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 3: she said she used to eat hay and like about

769
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 3: her whole story in Croatia. So I'm like, I really

770
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 3: want to go there and see it because I heard

771
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 3: it hurts beautiful, It's beautiful.

772
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm going.

773
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 5: To be just posting pictures is to make you jealous,

774
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 5: just to make you.

775
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 1: Fe and join me, she wrote, and then she book

776
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 1: us a flight like the next day of it.

777
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 2: We just became best friends.

778
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: I'll easy there.

779
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 2: So what is okay? Obviously you know your divorce, that

780
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 2: you've been married now for how long?

781
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 5: Nine years?

782
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 2: Nine years?

783
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 3: What is what is one thing you learned from the

784
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 3: first now with your second?

785
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you learn from the first marriage that

786
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 1: you brought into your second one? I guess a learning tool.

787
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 5: This might be a weird answer, but to not allow

788
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 5: my insecurities to have as much power because they're not

789
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 5: qualified for the job. And I think a lot of

790
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 5: times we think about what we want more than what

791
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 5: we need. And also I think we get so caught

792
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 5: up in the romance and the love and like the feelings.

793
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 5: And I was so cynical after my first divorce. I

794
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 5: mean I literally was like, I wish I was a lesbian.

795
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 5: I am never going to lip girl. Yeah, I was

796
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 5: like men suck. And I was a waitress when you know,

797
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 5: when I was struggling, and these couples would come in

798
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 5: for like their tenth thirty ornithan of our and I'd

799
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 5: be like, they're just pretending they hate each other like

800
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 5: human being. And then when I met my current husband

801
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 5: and we you know, I started liking and everything. I

802
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 5: had those romantic feelings, but I kept asking myself, would

803
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 5: you go into business with this person? Because let's be honest,

804
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 5: I think sex is important. I think romance is important,

805
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 5: all of it, but so much of marriage, especially raising

806
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 5: kids and all that. It is a business. You're literally

807
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 5: running a business. And if you wouldn't trust to run

808
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 5: a business, or if if you don't you know, have

809
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 5: strengths that complement each other, whatever, then don't do it.

810
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 5: So I threw out it.

811
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 2: I know that's a weird, man.

812
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 5: I think it's very I'm romantic, but let's be honest,

813
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 5: like the day to day life.

814
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's negotiating, it's compromising, it's setting boundary, it's figuring

815
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:43,959
Speaker 1: all that out.

816
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 5: Absolutely, do you have the strengths that I don't do you?

817
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 5: And are you a good listener? And do you respect me?

818
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 5: And does my opinion matter? I mean all of it? Right?

819
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 3: Oh it's funny. Yeah, you just have my husband if

820
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 3: he was a good listener. Because the other day I

821
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 3: was telling him something. I go, I know, I said,

822
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 3: do you agree? And he goes, yeah, totally. He goes,

823
00:33:58,680 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Wait what did you say? I was like,

824
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 3: oh my god, you just agreed. It was just so

825
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 3: enamored with how beautiful you are. I just think that's funny.

826
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,760
Speaker 3: What's one thing like in your marriage? Because I always

827
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 3: think it's you know, it's so easy to blame, Like

828
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 3: it's easy to blame my spouse for him doing something,

829
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:20,319
Speaker 3: but it's so much harder to look at your look

830
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 3: at yourself in the mirror and evaluate yourself. So what's

831
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,720
Speaker 3: one thing that you could do better as a spouse

832
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 3: and as a person.

833
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 5: I need to be way more patient. I tend to be.

834
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 5: It's it's interesting. I feel like sometimes our greatest weaknesses

835
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 5: are our greatest strengths. In others, it is like, I'm

836
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 5: impulsive and it's good because I put myself out there,

837
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 5: but I need to be way more patient and I

838
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 5: am a much bigger personality, and I think the bigger

839
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 5: personality in the relationship sometimes needs to like make sure

840
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,919
Speaker 5: that the other person is being heard and seen because

841
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 5: it's so easy for us not to even realize, like,

842
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 5: wait a second, I'm kind of running the whole show

843
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 5: here and I didn't even consider like where are you?

844
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 5: Are you good?

845
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: You know? See? I think that's interesting because I feel like,

846
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 1: from a spectator of that personality, got you. I'm going

847
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: to speak for both of y'all. You guys are probably like, well,

848
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,919
Speaker 1: they're not up to speed with me, that's their issue, Yes,

849
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,839
Speaker 1: that they're not as fast as I am. When really

850
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: from a more understanding, empathetic place, it may be that

851
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: it's like maybe thank us, though for me, maybe yeah,

852
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 1: maybe I do need to take a step back and

853
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: you know, be on the same level as them, and

854
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 1: I start.

855
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 5: Making a conscious, conscious decision to like every day ask

856
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 5: my husband, hey, how are you doing? What do you need?

857
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,399
Speaker 5: What can I do to like make your day better

858
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 5: because it's so easy for me to get caught up

859
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 5: and all my stuff and I'm so hyper and blah blah,

860
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 5: and I got kids. Just taking that moment to go,

861
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 5: is there anything I can do for you today? Like?

862
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 5: Is there anything you need?

863
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:41,720
Speaker 2: That's a really good takeaway?

864
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, we actually do that for each other pretty often.

865
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to check in more often. I think

866
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 2: that's kind of going.

867
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 5: Okay, Can I can I tell you something that my

868
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 5: husband I do every once in a while, that's like

869
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 5: the best thing ever. Please, So if he texts me

870
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 5: we started doing this before we were even married. If

871
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 5: he texts me and says, hey, this is Philip. Obviously

872
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 5: I know his number, right, But if he text me

873
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,359
Speaker 5: and says that, then I know what's happening, and I'll

874
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 5: say oh hi, and he'll go So it was great

875
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 5: meeting you. Can I take on a date?

876
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 2: Oh super for us? No great idea?

877
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 5: No, we are. We we go to a place we've

878
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 5: never been and we completely play it up and then

879
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 5: at the end when you get all it feels like

880
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 5: the first time because you've played it up for like

881
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 5: two hours. Sorry, too cheesy.

882
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 3: No, super sweet would be really triggering. For us because

883
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 3: of our Oh oh oh, okay's super sweet.

884
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 2: But that's not trigger no, no, no, but it's super cute.

885
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 2: Would be super cute, Yeah, just not for us.

886
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 1: It wouldn't work for us. But no, it's a door

887
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 1: love that.

888
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 2: Yeah.

889
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 1: Maybe one day, maybe one day we can make that work.

890
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 5: No, I don't think, maybe you think so scratch, let's

891
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 5: delete the whole part of the podcast.

892
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 2: It's good, it's good.

893
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 6: It's good.

894
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:51,280
Speaker 1: That's our reality.

895
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 5: That's the things that we have to find out what

896
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 5: works for And that's really important too. Like every couple

897
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 5: is different, just like I always tell parents, like, parenting

898
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 5: is not a science. Will works for one kid, oh

899
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 5: one family won't work for you. You got to It's

900
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 5: not a science. It's an art. You gotta do it.

901
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: Paint your way, right, so you know what works for

902
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 2: your relationship A million percents.

903
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: Speaking the kids, there's one thing that's on.

904
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, wait, can I can I tell her about

905
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 3: the story about that one kid that I talked about

906
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 3: in a in a previous episode, So because this will

907
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 3: lead into your question. Okay, So my daughter was at

908
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 3: a playdate and this kid was kind of being obnoxious

909
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 3: and I walked in. He goes, no, parent's allowed, and

910
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,359
Speaker 3: I was like, well, actually I am allowed because i'm

911
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 3: her parent, but I'm also her friend. And he goes,

912
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 3: you're not a friend. He's like and I said, yes

913
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 3: I am. And he goes, no, you're not a parent,

914
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 3: can't be a friend. And I said, well, I am

915
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 3: Jolie's friend and I'm also her parent, so I want to.

916
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 2: Be like sitting up for my Now I'm like, you brat, but.

917
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,799
Speaker 3: And Jolie goes, yeah, my mom my friend, and I

918
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 3: said that's right, Jolie. It was like the cutest thing ever.

919
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 3: But then we read on your notes it said that

920
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 3: you don't think go ahead, Mike.

921
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, you said. She says, she's totally cool having

922
00:37:58,440 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: your kids be mad at her because she's the parent

923
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: the friend.

924
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 5: So here's how I see it. It depends on how

925
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 5: you define friendship. Right. So for example, when I'm at

926
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 5: at my ex, I will not talk about it with

927
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 5: my kids. I will talk about with my girlfriends, but

928
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 5: not with my kids. I will not put you up boundaries.

929
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 5: Let's say we have financial difficult difculties. I don't think

930
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 5: a kid should carry that weight, you know, I mean,

931
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 5: so There's also I do not wipe my friend's butts.

932
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 5: If it was an emergency, I might take one for

933
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,399
Speaker 5: the team, but usually I don't. So I do feel

934
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 5: like it.

935
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 2: Do you hold her hair back?

936
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 5: Though? Yes? Ok, But here's the main part of that.

937
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 5: I think a lot of parents it becomes very important

938
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 5: that their kid likes them at all times because our

939
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 5: friends we usually like each other. Right, It's a different

940
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 5: kind of relationship, and especially as your kids get older

941
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 5: and become preteens and teens, you have to become okay

942
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 5: with my kid doesn't like me one hundred percent of

943
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 5: the time, and that's okay. My job isn't to be

944
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,919
Speaker 5: liked by them. My job is to raise decent, kind,

945
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 5: amazing human beings, do you know what I mean? And

946
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 5: so I think that's where it gets tricky. Are like, oh,

947
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 5: but she's my best friend and I want her to

948
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 5: like me, and so, okay, maybe I'll let her have this,

949
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 5: and then you end up raising an entitled kid. Doesn't

950
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 5: make sense, No, it does.

951
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: I think it's just about having healthy boundaries around yeah,

952
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 3: because the.

953
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 5: Way I say it is like, I'm not my kid's

954
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 5: best friend, but I am their ally. I'm the greatest cheerleader.

955
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 5: I believe they can talk to me about anything without

956
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 5: talking down at me. I believe they can come to

957
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 5: me with anything, you know what I mean.

958
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 3: I just still like personally saying that I am her.

959
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 3: I can be her friend, but I can also be

960
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,959
Speaker 3: her mom and also discipline her and say that's okay.

961
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 3: Like sometimes I don't like my friend, yeah, because she's

962
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 3: telling me, she's calling me out, yeah, and that's okay.

963
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 3: She can still be my friend and I can still

964
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:31,879
Speaker 3: be the mom. That's cause kind of how I looked

965
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 3: at it too, because it makes sense. Times when I

966
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 3: don't like my.

967
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 5: Friend, that makes sense. I see a lot of people,

968
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 5: though moms would just want to really be cool and

969
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 5: liked yeah, and then it just you end up with

970
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 5: kids you don't even want to hang out with when

971
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 5: they're adults, Like I want to raise the kind of

972
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 5: kids that actually enjoy hanging out with me.

973
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,320
Speaker 2: Why we can enjoy it exactly.

974
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,919
Speaker 1: I think that's a whole stigma around, that whole kind

975
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: of when people say one way or the other because

976
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 1: of that reason, there's so many parents out there that

977
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 1: it's the whole concept now, right when a kid gets

978
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 1: in trouble at school. They don't go to their kids

979
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: and say what'd you do wrong? They go to the

980
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: teacher and say, what'd you do wrong?

981
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 5: I have a problem with that. I mean seriously, Like,

982
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 5: I think too many parents are bailing their kids out.

983
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 5: Here's the thing. We're worried about what makes our kid

984
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 5: happy now instead of the long term? Right, And like

985
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 5: you have to think long term what life lesson are

986
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 5: there learning? Because our job is to raise them so

987
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:24,280
Speaker 5: we can let them fly, right, And if we're constantly

988
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 5: rescuing them, they are not getting a realistic view of

989
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 5: what life is like. So you know, I make my

990
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 5: older two kids start doing their laundry at ten, and

991
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 5: some of my friends are like, they're only ten.

992
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,839
Speaker 2: I'm like, really, only does our laundry now?

993
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 1: See this?

994
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 5: So you know how to press buttons on iPad? They

995
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 5: know how to press buttons on a wash.

996
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 3: But she she puts her clothes in the washer like

997
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 3: that is part of her thing.

998
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 2: Like, all right, Joel, it's time to do laundry.

999
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1000
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 5: But I always think like happy now versus happy long term,

1001
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 5: Like getting a PAP smear doesn't make me happy in

1002
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 5: this moment, but in the long term, it's a good idea.

1003
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,359
Speaker 5: So like Kid's like so uncomfortable making this rule right now.

1004
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 5: I know it won't make you happy, but in the

1005
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 5: long term, you're gonna endup being a better human being

1006
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 5: because of it.

1007
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 1: No question. I think it just comes back to what

1008
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 1: you said at the beginning. It's like, what's your definition

1009
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 1: of friendship? Right? So for Jane and I, it's someone

1010
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: who's going to call you on your someone who's got

1011
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 1: your back no matter what. Someone who's gonna love you

1012
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: but also be there to you know, steer you in

1013
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 1: the right way. So you know, for us, we it

1014
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 1: all depends on what exactly, and it depends on how

1015
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 1: you to find it depends on what that means for

1016
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: you personally. So but I always think it's interesting because

1017
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: we have come across people that are very don't go

1018
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: into the definition of friendship or very just like nope,

1019
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 1: I'm the parent. If they want to talk about this,

1020
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 1: then go to their friends and that.

1021
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 5: And that that's actually really bad.

1022
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 3: I think I think one of the most important I mean,

1023
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 3: I got into a fight it was with like Boris

1024
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 3: Kojo at our show. He was and I we end

1025
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 3: up just I just kind of stopped talking because he

1026
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 3: just was so strong in his opinion. And that's that's fine,

1027
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 3: that's his opinion. But I have a different opinion. That's

1028
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:44,439
Speaker 3: okay too.

1029
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 5: See the whole creating an and again I'm speaking of

1030
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 5: someone who has an almost sixteen year old and a

1031
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 5: fourteen year old. Creating an environment where your kids will

1032
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 5: come and talk to you about anything and you will

1033
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 5: never shut them down. So important, because here's a huge

1034
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 5: Even young kids will come to us with uncomfortable questions

1035
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 5: and we're like, oh my gosh, where did you hear that?

1036
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,319
Speaker 5: And if we say to them, we can't talk about that,

1037
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 5: or we'll talk about it when you're older. If you

1038
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 5: think that's going to stop them from asking to a friend,

1039
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 5: they're gonna start asking somebody else. Yeah, and you don't

1040
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 5: want them finding out from an eight year old who

1041
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 5: has a teenage sister about sex, right right, So my

1042
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 5: sixteen year old, I mean, he's a boy. He literally

1043
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 5: tells me stuff that I'm like, I'm sitting there and

1044
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 5: I act very You always got to act very like,

1045
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 5: oh sure, yeah, let's talk about that. That's great.

1046
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 1: In your head, you're like, what the Then.

1047
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 5: You hide in the closet with a big cake and

1048
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 5: a bottle of wine and you stress, eat and go

1049
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 5: what the hell?

1050
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1051
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 5: In front of them, you're like, oh yeah, sure, let's

1052
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 5: talk about that.

1053
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm scared of those days. I'm scared of those days.

1054
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 1: But I can't wait to watch Janna squirm. She just

1055
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 1: hates that uncomfortable confrontation.

1056
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 5: Good teenagers are like, it's the hardest thing ever, But

1057
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 5: I just keep reminding myself it's so much harder being

1058
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 5: a teenager than parenting a teenager, and then all of

1059
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 5: a sudden, you feel so much more grace. And also

1060
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 5: there's something really cool about watching them turn into adults,

1061
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 5: Like slowly they're not to you, but just going wow,

1062
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 5: I understand her passions now. I mean, it's just it

1063
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 5: makes me emotional. It's really cool.

1064
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: Get a glimpse of who they're gonna end up being,

1065
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,360
Speaker 1: little personality traits or whatever.

1066
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,839
Speaker 3: Can we drink wine together? But yes, because I just

1067
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 3: really like you. I love.

1068
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 1: Everything.

1069
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,799
Speaker 3: Well, it's like the baby steps that start in Nashville first,

1070
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 3: and then we'll go there. Okay, so where can our

1071
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 3: listeners find you?

1072
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,919
Speaker 5: So I'm on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, on YouTube.

1073
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 5: It's all add Christina with a k k u z

1074
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,280
Speaker 5: m ic and then if you go to Christina acousmic

1075
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 5: live dot com, all the cities for my tour are

1076
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 5: listed there. You guys should come. It's a really fun parents.

1077
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,800
Speaker 2: Please is there? I'll look online after.

1078
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 3: You know what I'm gonna call over be like Nashville. Oh,

1079
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 3: please add the city? Yes, Risina Kuzmic. All right, I

1080
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 3: really like her.

1081
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: She was awesome.

1082
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 3: She's just very chill and she has a you can

1083
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 3: just tell she has a really good heart.

1084
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 1: She has great energy and it's one of those things

1085
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: where just being able to have the guests in studio

1086
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 1: and being able to read off their energy is really

1087
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: a benefit for us and getting to know them as

1088
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: a person. And her story is truly inspirational to from

1089
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: what she's been through and turn it into a successful brand. Yes,

1090
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 1: she is is amazing.

1091
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 3: I agree with you on that. Hey, Mark is a

1092
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 3: special guest. When when when is he calling in?

1093
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 1: How about ten minutes?

1094
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:25,399
Speaker 2: In ten minutes?

1095
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: Got about ten minutes to play with here. I wasn't nervous,

1096
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: but now I am. It's like a ticking clock. Who

1097
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 1: could this possibly be?

1098
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 2: Can I just ask? Can I do a couple of

1099
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 2: yes or nose before he calls, and he can try

1100
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 2: and get.

1101
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: Ask you yes or no. Yeah, that'd be fun.

1102
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 3: Okay, fine, thank you allow allow it? Okay, so you

1103
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 3: get five, you get five some of them.

1104
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 4: But what if he figures it out for before the

1105
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 4: person calls. Then it kind of takes away the whole surprise,

1106
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 4: doesn't Why.

1107
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 1: You guys? I think obviously they haven't played games with

1108
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 1: Jana yet. This is actually rolled one one or two,

1109
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 1: not five three?

1110
00:44:58,800 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm crossing off two hands.

1111
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 1: There you go, all right, but I don't now I

1112
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: don't want to know.

1113
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: Just guess.

1114
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: Can I veto? Yes?

1115
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 4: You can bet you like if I feel like the

1116
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 4: answer will give it away too much? You answer no question, Yes,

1117
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 4: that's one I'm down to too.

1118
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 2: No, yes you are. I'm definitely crossing that off because

1119
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 2: that was a question. Good you have Mark?

1120
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: Is he an athlete? I'll allow it.

1121
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,479
Speaker 2: No, you got one more question?

1122
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 1: I don't care. Thanks for coming to oneidde Is he tall?

1123
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 1: Mark's gonna have to look up this person's actual height.

1124
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 2: That's an I don't know.

1125
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 1: And tall tall is is six two or taller?

1126
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,320
Speaker 2: Okay, then we're gonna have Mark answer this one.

1127
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 1: He's not tall?

1128
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:07,560
Speaker 5: Oh deceiving. Oh this is so much fun.

1129
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 1: I love he's a non athlete and he's not tall.

1130
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: Nick Witard, Yeah sounds like Nick. I love you, Nick.

1131
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,919
Speaker 1: All right, Well, how about an email. We'll we wait

1132
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: for the surprise.

1133
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:21,439
Speaker 5: That was fun.

1134
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 2: I love games. Games are like my love language.

1135
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 1: Actually, I have back to back Nicole's how do you

1136
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 1: feel about that?

1137
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 5: Great?

1138
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 4: Aula is asking. She says, my fiance and I just

1139
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 4: got engaged. We already lived together, so that won't be

1140
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 4: a surprise, but I want to make sure we're stepping

1141
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 4: into this on the right foot. What things do you

1142
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 4: think are important for us to discuss and keep in

1143
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 4: mind before marriage? Do you have any tips that could

1144
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 4: help us start off things?

1145
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 1: Well, hmmm, yeah.

1146
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 2: Do you believe in therapy?

1147
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 3: That's a huge one because I think if the guy

1148
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 3: doesn't believe in therapy, if you guys run into issues,

1149
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 3: that's going to be a real hard.

1150
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:55,879
Speaker 2: Thing to get over.

1151
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 3: And that would be really frustrating because if you're because

1152
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 3: there's a lot of guys I know, they would be like,

1153
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 3: I don't believe in therapy, and that always makes me

1154
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 3: kind of scratch my head. Like, I get why it

1155
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 3: might be uncomfortable. All Marks over there do not believe

1156
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 3: in therapy.

1157
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying that at all.

1158
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 4: I think that the average age that men get married at,

1159
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 4: whether it's the maybe late twenties, those guys aren't ready

1160
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 4: for therapy. I mean they are, like they don't know

1161
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,399
Speaker 4: they are, and they won't admit they are. They still

1162
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 4: think they got the whole world figured out.

1163
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,800
Speaker 3: Right, but they should be open though, to having that conversation.

1164
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,879
Speaker 1: I don't yeh, I would have been at that age really, yeah,

1165
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 1: I don't think so.

1166
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 5: What about you, Bob?

1167
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 1: What about me?

1168
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 3: Like, would you have gone to therapy if things didn't

1169
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:39,359
Speaker 3: go hey wire?

1170
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think so you would have had that yeah,

1171
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: because I enjoy talking stuff out. I mean I still

1172
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 1: was felt like I had the world figured out, like

1173
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 1: Mark said, But I've never been like opposed to it.

1174
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: Even when we first met and got together, I was

1175
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:58,919
Speaker 1: on board. I'd never been to therapy.

1176
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 3: Before because I threatened you with therapy, you either better

1177
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 3: you better set here.

1178
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: No. But and I think you know, people have the

1179
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 1: misconception that they only need therapy when there's already problems agreed,

1180
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:11,280
Speaker 1: But that's not the case.

1181
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: Totally agree.

1182
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 1: You can avoid a lot of problems by being proactive

1183
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 1: and going to therapy and having someone to talk to you,

1184
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 1: and doesn't even have to be couple therapy. You can

1185
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,720
Speaker 1: avoid conflict in your relationship by going to individual therapy

1186
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 1: and just learning more about yourself and then sharing that

1187
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:28,760
Speaker 1: with your partner.

1188
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,760
Speaker 3: Sidebar though, I kind of feel like sometimes though therapy

1189
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 3: has then made their relationship like more arguments, Like there

1190
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 3: there was this one.

1191
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: Theory it depends on your therapy where I'm.

1192
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,919
Speaker 3: Just like, are you trying to make us fight right now?

1193
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 3: You know, like we we left, now we're leaving worse

1194
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 3: off in her mind, she's.

1195
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,360
Speaker 1: Like she's bringing issues at the surface that need to

1196
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 1: come out at some point.

1197
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:51,360
Speaker 2: But then she's like, I don't know if this is

1198
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 2: going to work.

1199
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1200
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's the thing. You got to find

1201
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: a good therapist.

1202
00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 3: I would if you're fiance is open and is intact

1203
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 3: with his feelings, I would like to know how he

1204
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 3: deals with issues. So I think that could really cause

1205
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:09,800
Speaker 3: an interesting ripple.

1206
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 1: And how does she deal with issues? Well?

1207
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 3: Same like to talk about that, right, yeah, so like

1208
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 3: and to approach the closes off. It's like, how to

1209
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,919
Speaker 3: help me when I'm in that situation or what would

1210
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 3: be good Like if she's the kind of person that

1211
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 3: doesn't want to have confrontation and needs a minute him

1212
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 3: going after her, I mean like, well talk to me,

1213
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 3: talk to me, talk to me, Like that's just going

1214
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 3: to cause an argument, right, So maybe they need a

1215
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: cool like how do they deal with confrontation and how

1216
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 3: do they deal with which is just a.

1217
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 1: Part of learning each other as you grow in your relationship, but.

1218
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 3: That might be important for us to discuss to keep

1219
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 3: in mind before marriage. That's a question, right, Yeah, how

1220
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:46,240
Speaker 3: they deal with kids?

1221
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:47,720
Speaker 2: Parenting?

1222
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, religion, parenting style and kids all that.

1223
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1224
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm baffled by people have been married for years

1225
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,879
Speaker 4: and realize the other person doesn't want kids the same

1226
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 4: way they do, or more or less or not at all.

1227
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: That you do need to discuss that ahead of time.

1228
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 2: Well here's the problem.

1229
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 3: So I can't say her name, but someone has been

1230
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 3: dating someone for a really long time, and she knew

1231
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 3: in the beginning that he didn't want kids. But now

1232
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 3: it's been eight years and she's and he still doesn't.

1233
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 3: But she's like, I just thought that maybe i'd get

1234
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,239
Speaker 3: him there. But it's like, but you knew, I.

1235
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: Mean, woman out there doesn't think they can change a man.

1236
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 2: There, I mean, yes, most of them can.

1237
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:31,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, there's no question. I don't blame you guys

1238
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 1: for having those thoughts. Yeah, it's true, because but I

1239
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 1: think it's a similar thing young guys.

1240
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't care. I'm just gonna you know, I'm

1241
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 4: living the party, laughing and having fun. But then as

1242
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 4: you get older, you know, we have our own version

1243
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 4: of a biological clock, you do start to think about

1244
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 4: that stuff.

1245
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: So I could see that changing.

1246
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 4: But of course, I mean, I think Michael and I

1247
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,760
Speaker 4: would agree we're both better people because of our wives.

1248
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 1: There's no question I would be a train wreck.

1249
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 2: You know you wouldn't.

1250
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 3: It would have just like if we would have ended

1251
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,080
Speaker 3: up getting divorced, I think you would have just it

1252
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 3: would have taken you another five to six years to

1253
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 3: clean up shop.

1254
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:10,840
Speaker 1: Maybe post our relationship, like post divorce. Yeah, here's the

1255
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 1: fun game, guys. Let's talk about what would happen if

1256
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: Jane and I did get divorced.

1257
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 3: Like I just or or even if like we never met,

1258
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 3: like I think like you needed you, you might have

1259
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 3: married someone like maybe one of.

1260
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 1: Your if we never if we never met, it definitely

1261
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: would have been train wreck. Yeah, I don't know. It

1262
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: would have been a long time since I was able

1263
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 1: to settle down.

1264
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 3: Or I would have Maybe the type of girl you

1265
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 3: might have ended up picking might not have been.

1266
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: The one I should the kind of girl I should

1267
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 1: be with, or.

1268
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,799
Speaker 2: That would like stay to help you through it.

1269
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe who knows?

1270
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 2: Who knows? I would be in? Where would I be?

1271
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:47,240
Speaker 2: I'd be in Georgia?

1272
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:48,360
Speaker 1: Who knows?

1273
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 5: Who knows? Well?

1274
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 4: This transitions right well into the next Nicole's email, and

1275
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 4: I'm sorry you don't have this one, but it's just

1276
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 4: real quickly.

1277
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 5: I have it.

1278
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,359
Speaker 1: No, that's anonymous.

1279
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 2: Oh, anonymous, I don't have it.

1280
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 1: I don't have it. I have it for here.

1281
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 4: Okay, but basically a nutshell married six years, two beautiful girls.

1282
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 4: How do you deal with wanting another child but your

1283
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 4: spouse says they're done. My husband says he does, he's

1284
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 4: Donnie doesn't want anymore. I absolutely want one more child.

1285
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 4: He will not even entertain the thought. How do you

1286
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 4: get over that feeling? Or how do you talk him

1287
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 4: into it?

1288
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 3: I think she needs to have a very deep conversation

1289
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:23,919
Speaker 3: with him and say, hey, like, I truly want another kid.

1290
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 3: I feel like I might hold resentment if we don't

1291
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 3: have another one, okay, And I think because if she

1292
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,919
Speaker 3: doesn't have that conversation, she is going to resent him

1293
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 3: for the fact that she wanted another one, okay, and

1294
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 3: he can then say, I will resent you.

1295
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,880
Speaker 1: I was a devil's advocate. I'm him in this situation.

1296
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,240
Speaker 1: I want to have a deep conversation with you, Honey.

1297
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: It's really important to me that we don't have another

1298
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: kid because I don't want to be raising any more

1299
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 1: kids until we're, however old, and I still want us

1300
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 1: to have our time in our life. And I will

1301
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 1: resent you, surreal, Well, you and I already done.

1302
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 2: But I don't know though he got a sect.

1303
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,319
Speaker 1: Kind of matters very much.

1304
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 3: Matters, doesn't like Jason's sitting up now like I want

1305
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 3: another baby.

1306
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 1: It's not happening. Is this from you?

1307
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 4: You said maybe the time to say that would have

1308
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 4: been pre vasectomy.

1309
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 2: Well right now I'm saying this.

1310
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 1: Okay, get it temporary vasectomy. We'll figure it out later.

1311
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,799
Speaker 3: She's I don't know, Nicole, that's tough maybe.

1312
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: But no, I think it's a good question though, because

1313
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 1: how how do you determine if both people are that way,

1314
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 1: both people are like, look, I will resent you or

1315
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 1: I'll feel a lot of resentment if you forced me

1316
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: your way or I force you my way. I mean,

1317
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: how do you know what's right?

1318
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,359
Speaker 3: Well, if it depends how strong you feel about it,

1319
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 3: because I mean, look at our one friend, for example,

1320
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:55,280
Speaker 3: she wanted a baby. She was married for ten years.

1321
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 3: He said, I do not want to have kids. She

1322
00:53:57,719 --> 00:53:58,359
Speaker 3: divorced them.

1323
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: Right, that's that's a baby. They have two, right, So

1324
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:04,359
Speaker 1: you can make arguments for each where for her it's

1325
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,399
Speaker 1: like he can say, honey, we have two beautiful kids. Yeah,

1326
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 1: why do you what inside of you makes you want

1327
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 1: to have a third?

1328
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 6: You know?

1329
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 1: And then she can kind of say the same thing

1330
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 1: back to then, like we already have two.

1331
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,320
Speaker 3: It's so hard though, like for the one like Jason's

1332
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,240
Speaker 3: sitting up, babe, he's not a baby anymore.

1333
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:25,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jana said a while back, she was like one day,

1334
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 1: or I said in the car. I was like, yeah,

1335
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 1: one day, We're not even gonna have a crib in

1336
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 1: the house. She's like what, she was like, what do

1337
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: you mean?

1338
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 2: Jason?

1339
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 1: And girl, she's like, I don't know if I can

1340
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 1: handle that. I'm like, well, that's kind of the whole point.

1341
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:38,719
Speaker 1: It's for kids to grow up.

1342
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 3: But then we can adopt or have another one. We

1343
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 3: can just like you need a lot of your reseectomy,

1344
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 3: you know, for.

1345
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 1: Me, And you may call it selfish. We have one

1346
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: of each and a third. When I just think about

1347
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 1: when they're all in school and they all have extracurricular activities,

1348
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 1: they have sports, they have recitals and all that, we

1349
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 1: will never have time for ourselves with three kids. This

1350
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:02,240
Speaker 1: is my world.

1351
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 3: So here's my fear. And this might be an irrational fear.

1352
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 3: I'm afraid that when all the kids move out that

1353
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 3: maybe you won't like me anymore, so there wouldn't be

1354
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 3: like there's going to be all this that's.

1355
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:12,720
Speaker 1: Right, I'm using you for our kids.

1356
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I mean, like, you know, because we're going

1357
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 3: to be so busy the next how many years their

1358
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 3: kids and the activities and everything going on, that when

1359
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 3: it's quiet and there isn't a kid in the house,

1360
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 3: are you going to like the person next to you?

1361
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,440
Speaker 1: For sure? And to speak on that, but.

1362
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people have that weird.

1363
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 1: Oh, it's all the emptys emptyness syndrome.

1364
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 3: I mean it's because maybe they don't really like because

1365
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 3: a lot of people just stay together because their kids,

1366
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 3: and it's like do I even like my husband?

1367
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 5: That's possible.

1368
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,479
Speaker 1: Well, and that's that's what we do all the work

1369
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,360
Speaker 1: the way, thanks Anny, we do all the work that

1370
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 1: we do kind of also in preparation that where we

1371
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 1: don't just pass each other, which a lot of people

1372
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,439
Speaker 1: get sucked into, understandably, so we even get we even

1373
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 1: see where we go a couple of days, right, like

1374
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 1: holy crap, like we haven't really talked or connected. Let's

1375
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:59,240
Speaker 1: make that intentional time. So we're doing our work now

1376
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 1: and mention of that. And then also for me, from

1377
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,920
Speaker 1: a selfish mindset, I'm looking forward to those days because

1378
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,919
Speaker 1: that's kind of another reason I don't want a third.

1379
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 1: So you and I are still at a decent age

1380
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 1: to go do stuff together, to go travel, to hang out,

1381
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 1: to do stuff for us again, like that's gonna be

1382
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 1: so much fun.

1383
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 2: The kids are in school, they still want me, Like

1384
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 2: I feel like there might I feel like you would

1385
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 2: want to like trade up like younger or something or

1386
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, like I feel like you wouldn't a

1387
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:31,880
Speaker 2: younger version, suir. No, I guess it's just like a

1388
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 2: weird Maybe I don't know, Maybe I'm alone in that,

1389
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 2: maybe other women feel the same thing, but.

1390
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm sure male and female people might feel

1391
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 1: that way. But like and for me, like think about

1392
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 1: when we went for our anniversary, right, we went to

1393
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:44,920
Speaker 1: Nobu and then we just sat in the back of

1394
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: my truck at the beach in Malibu, and that didn't

1395
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 1: go according to plan, but it was just cool. We

1396
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 1: just hung out. Yeah, we laid there. We got there

1397
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,799
Speaker 1: too early. We had like two hours till sunset. It

1398
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 1: was like a hurricane wind ten out and it was

1399
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 1: so we had to lay like bunker it in the

1400
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 1: back of my truck, like to get out of the wind.

1401
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 1: But we just laid there and hung out. And how

1402
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 1: much fun did we have? We laughed, we'd played get

1403
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 1: like it was fun. And we focus on twenty thirty nine, right,

1404
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,839
Speaker 1: that's true. Focus on today. We have a long even

1405
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 1: though today even though it goes fast, it goes fast.

1406
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 1: Anyone with older kids, like you know more can say

1407
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 1: it goes so fast. Enjoy every member. Right, we still

1408
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 1: have a long time. We have eighteen years.

1409
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 2: So that's what I'm saying. You've eighteen years to like

1410
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 2: not like me, foor, I.

1411
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 1: Have eighteen years to fall even more in love with

1412
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,120
Speaker 1: you and like you that much more.

1413
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 3: Thanks babe, class half full kind of guy for here.

1414
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,919
Speaker 3: And I'm like, watch the world burn.

1415
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, pessimism.

1416
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 3: I'm are you guys ready for the special guest? Because

1417
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 3: I'm so excited I don't know if I'm special guest?

1418
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:48,479
Speaker 1: Hello?

1419
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 3: Hello, Hey, So you have Jana and Mike and thank

1420
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 3: you so much for calling in. So can I just

1421
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 3: play quick little game with you? Because my husband doesn't

1422
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 3: know who who you you are right in this moment?

1423
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 2: He will know?

1424
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 3: But can we play the yes or no game? Because

1425
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 3: he's he's actually obsessed with you, and so the fact

1426
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:12,280
Speaker 3: that he doesn't know right now isn't Michael? You get

1427
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 3: You get three guesses okay, yes, yes or no?

1428
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 2: And he has to he has to answer.

1429
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:25,920
Speaker 1: Are you an entertainment yeah? Are you? Do you have

1430
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 1: brown hair?

1431
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 6: No?

1432
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: Are you handsome? Yes?

1433
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 3: Ah?

1434
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:40,680
Speaker 1: I have no idea.

1435
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 2: You can ask one more?

1436
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 1: Why you narrow down the entertainment worlds? Yeah?

1437
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 2: Narrow down a little bit?

1438
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 1: Then? Are you an actor?

1439
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 3: No, No, he's literally doing a graph right now on

1440
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 3: a piewspaper.

1441
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 1: Blonde handsome? Why do you think blonde not brunette?

1442
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 6: That my hair is kind of blackish brown, blackish brown.

1443
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 5: This is so good.

1444
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:12,120
Speaker 2: Keep going with.

1445
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 3: Not an athlete, not an actor? What would be another entertainment?

1446
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:18,520
Speaker 1: What's another entertainment?

1447
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:20,920
Speaker 2: What do I do?

1448
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: Sing?

1449
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:22,480
Speaker 5: Oh?

1450
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 1: Singer? Are you a singer? Yeah? Okay, singer? And are you.

1451
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 6: Tall?

1452
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 2: We already said, remember you already guess that?

1453
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 1: Do you sing country music?

1454
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 6: Sometimes?

1455
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 1: M sometimes this is killing me?

1456
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 2: Why don't you just sing a little something that he

1457
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 2: would know?

1458
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 1: Okay, be really embarrassing. Don't know this you will.

1459
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 6: Okay? Expla driving me? Just need one March.

1460
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:27,720
Speaker 1: I just saw you guys.

1461
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, thank you so much for coming on

1462
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 3: our show.

1463
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 1: So sure, what's what's wow?

1464
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 6: You know?

1465
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 1: Janna told me like I'll be starstruck and all that stuff,

1466
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: and I told her, I was like, who, Like, I

1467
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,480
Speaker 1: don't get starstruck. And we just saw you guys in Vegas.

1468
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 1: I was like, she wouldn't know because that's like the

1469
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: only people.

1470
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 3: So Sean so so so we we stood in the

1471
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:55,640
Speaker 3: meet and greet line.

1472
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 2: So my husband we.

1473
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:01,000
Speaker 3: He's I said, you know, bucket list person, like who

1474
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 3: would be your bucket list starstruck, you know, person that

1475
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 3: you would you would want to meet, And he said,

1476
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 3: you know, boys to men, And so I knew you

1477
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 3: guys were doing a residency in in Vegas and so

1478
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,440
Speaker 3: you know, we our producer Amy Sugarman got us the

1479
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:16,919
Speaker 3: tickets and we got the meet and greets, and he

1480
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 3: was so nervous, like so nervous to meet you guys.

1481
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 3: And he was like, you know, tall, he's six foot six,

1482
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 3: like bald, tall dude, and he's going I was like, honey,

1483
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 3: just like breathe just breathe, like you're gonna be okay.

1484
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:31,960
Speaker 3: Like you know, he played in the NFL and so

1485
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:33,680
Speaker 3: he's you know, he's met like a bunch of people.

1486
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 3: But he was like so nervous to meet you. And

1487
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 3: then he didn't even and I was going to say something,

1488
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:41,440
Speaker 3: but then I didn't want to embarrass him. But like

1489
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 3: he really wanted to have a conversation with you know,

1490
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 3: with you and you guys, and so I think, like,

1491
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:48,320
Speaker 3: I mean, I know you still enjoyed meeting them, but

1492
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 3: it's still like, you know.

1493
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 1: You probably know the business works, so we know how

1494
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:53,480
Speaker 1: these meet and greets are, but it's one of those things, right,

1495
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 1: and a meet and greet is different than since sitting

1496
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:58,960
Speaker 1: down and having the conversation with these people or or

1497
01:01:59,000 --> 01:01:59,680
Speaker 1: whatever it may be.

1498
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, that's very true. And well now you have

1499
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 6: to combo down, bro, man, So what up?

1500
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 2: Now you got to ask a bunch of questions.

1501
01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:11,520
Speaker 1: No pressure. Man. First of all, thank you so much

1502
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 1: for coming on and taking the time. Man, I really

1503
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 1: appreciate it. And Honey, thank you as well. My pleasure.

1504
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 6: I hope you enjoyed the show in Vegas.

1505
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:22,400
Speaker 1: I did, man, you guys are still doing it, and

1506
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:23,040
Speaker 1: that it.

1507
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 3: Was a little sour because I didn't get a rose,

1508
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 3: But that's fine.

1509
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 1: Jan is too literal to get up there and push

1510
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 1: every one out of the way to get one of those.

1511
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 6: It really is natural selection these girls fight.

1512
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 1: They were fighting.

1513
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were out, man, the lines were out.

1514
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 1: I mean, that's gotta be a good feeling that after

1515
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:43,400
Speaker 1: all these years, you guys still get that kind of

1516
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 1: reaction and that kind of love, Like, did you ever

1517
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:48,880
Speaker 1: think it was it was gonna last this long?

1518
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 6: Uh? Well it might sound pretentious, but I so hoped it.

1519
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 5: Did you know.

1520
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 6: We all love new music, and we got into this

1521
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 6: to do this for a long time. I mean, rather

1522
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:10,120
Speaker 6: once we got signed and things started to get sering,

1523
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 6: we wanted to find ways to figure out how long

1524
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,680
Speaker 6: we could make these things last. And it's not a

1525
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 6: perfect blueprint. There's no guidebook for any of this. You

1526
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:26,920
Speaker 6: kind of just follow your instincts. You're making mistakes, you stumble,

1527
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:32,600
Speaker 6: but you hope that your talent and your gifts to

1528
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 6: sing or perform, and you love to perform and sing

1529
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:40,479
Speaker 6: out ways at all, somehow you you know, you fight

1530
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,640
Speaker 6: through it, and you you still continue to do it

1531
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:45,720
Speaker 6: throughout all the METS. And we've been through a lot

1532
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 6: of mets, and we're so honored still to be here

1533
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 6: doing things and people still love our music. No, Lie,

1534
01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 6: I'll be on stage sometimes and I'll look over the

1535
01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 6: crowd and I'm staying to myself, what are they doing here?

1536
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:01,200
Speaker 1: Right?

1537
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 3: We're crying and we're singing along to every single word?

1538
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:07,080
Speaker 3: Like that's I mean the amount of times that I

1539
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:09,440
Speaker 3: sing your guys of songs and I cooked to you

1540
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 3: guys in the kitchen and my husband and I are driving,

1541
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 3: you know, around town, like listening to your songs it's

1542
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:20,120
Speaker 3: you're so the nostalgi nostalgia nostalgic. I can never say

1543
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 3: word nostalgia in this is. I mean, it's, you know,

1544
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 3: we grew up listening to your guys' music, and.

1545
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 6: You know what, And that's the biggest compliment ever, the

1546
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 6: fact that people still get it. People still get and

1547
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 6: they understand what it is that we were trying to do.

1548
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:41,560
Speaker 6: As far as I'm concerned, mission accomplished like we did.

1549
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 6: We did exactly what we wanted to do, which was

1550
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:47,680
Speaker 6: make music that people could listen to and use for

1551
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:48,920
Speaker 6: the rest of their lives.

1552
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:50,680
Speaker 3: And it stands a test of time too. I mean

1553
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 3: it's it's still like the songs aren't just as freaking

1554
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 3: good as they were twenty years ago.

1555
01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:58,760
Speaker 1: And that's that's a testament to y'all's talent, right, because

1556
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 1: that's the thing with music or any kind of entertainment.

1557
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:04,920
Speaker 1: It's people feel like they have to conform to society

1558
01:05:04,960 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 1: and what the what the supplying demand is and all

1559
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,560
Speaker 1: that stuff. But you guys have just done you since

1560
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:13,480
Speaker 1: they won. I mean, y'all are legends, man like legends,

1561
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:15,720
Speaker 1: and that I mean does that I mean, like you

1562
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,360
Speaker 1: said at the beginning, you hoped it would last this long.

1563
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:21,560
Speaker 1: But I mean to get to us, you guys are legends.

1564
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:30,560
Speaker 6: It's underlable, it's pretty, it's a it's an honorable thing. Sure,

1565
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:36,000
Speaker 6: it's an honor too be even called that title, you

1566
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 6: know what I mean, Like it's I blow that off

1567
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:41,320
Speaker 6: because it's like that's such a heavy crown to wear.

1568
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:46,600
Speaker 6: But it's like it's still so nice that people look

1569
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:49,880
Speaker 6: as look at us in that regard. And all we

1570
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 6: can do with that is to not you know, be

1571
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 6: buttholes about it, right, you know, just just take it in,

1572
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 6: enjoy it and still do I bet without with throughout

1573
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 6: all the years. If anything, it doesn't make us arrogant.

1574
01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 6: It just makes us feel more determined and responsible to

1575
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:13,040
Speaker 6: do greater things, and and that that's what we're always

1576
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:13,560
Speaker 6: trying to.

1577
01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:15,919
Speaker 1: Do, no question. And I think you know, just from

1578
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:19,400
Speaker 1: Senior Show in Vegas, just the humility you guys have

1579
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:21,920
Speaker 1: with your presence, the way you guys were at meet

1580
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,760
Speaker 1: and greet, the way you guys even are on stage,

1581
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 1: and the way you interact. It's just a testament to

1582
01:06:26,040 --> 01:06:28,919
Speaker 1: y'all as as people and as human beings. Because there's

1583
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 1: so many stories out there where somebody meets, you know,

1584
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:34,320
Speaker 1: the their their bucketless person or someone they've always looked

1585
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 1: up to, and then they get that negative response from

1586
01:06:37,560 --> 01:06:40,160
Speaker 1: them because they let things get to them. And it's

1587
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,400
Speaker 1: so that's again a testament to you guys as men

1588
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 1: and human beings. And for me, you I mean the

1589
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:49,360
Speaker 1: Boys Men Boysmen album was the first album I ever bought.

1590
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:51,280
Speaker 2: Oh wow, the very.

1591
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:54,360
Speaker 1: First one that I ever bought as a kid. And

1592
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:57,240
Speaker 1: you know, it's funny to say that because I mean,

1593
01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,959
Speaker 1: I'm thirty two. I don't you know, I'm a grown

1594
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:04,280
Speaker 1: man now and being a kid on paper, I am

1595
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 1: on paper, I'm a grown man at home. It's a

1596
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 1: little different. So is that is that something that you

1597
01:07:11,080 --> 01:07:13,920
Speaker 1: guys take care like, damn we feel old? Or is

1598
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,480
Speaker 1: it one of those things where it is a compliment that, man,

1599
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:18,880
Speaker 1: I've been listening to you since I was a kid.

1600
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:23,920
Speaker 6: You know, at this day and age, being old is

1601
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:31,080
Speaker 6: damn cool. Absolutely, I like being old because it's only

1602
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:36,040
Speaker 6: one alternative, and you know, I'd rather be called old

1603
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:41,120
Speaker 6: yet still prove to people that being old does it

1604
01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 6: mean you're your your wash stuff or your you can't

1605
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:46,200
Speaker 6: do the things that you used to do when you

1606
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 6: were younger. I like, I like just selling myths like

1607
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:53,240
Speaker 6: that and things of that nature. Like that's been most

1608
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:57,680
Speaker 6: of my career with my guys. There's been a lot

1609
01:07:57,720 --> 01:08:01,320
Speaker 6: of well you can't and still is but or not so.

1610
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:06,800
Speaker 6: But that's the cool thing about being alive. You get

1611
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:12,480
Speaker 6: to prove people wrong. So I'll be I'll be old,

1612
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 6: I'll be considered old.

1613
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:17,679
Speaker 2: I love that. So you're doing you have a solo

1614
01:08:17,800 --> 01:08:18,439
Speaker 2: song out now?

1615
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 6: Yes, I have a solo song out, and I also

1616
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:25,600
Speaker 6: have a solo EP. Again, just trying to stretch the boundaries,

1617
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 6: not necessarily trying to do the whole typical cliche thing

1618
01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 6: where you do guys it right now? Well, you know,

1619
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:38,560
Speaker 6: don't I don't get that. I don't understand why a

1620
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:42,200
Speaker 6: guy who's in the group goes solo and just has

1621
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 6: to leave the group completely, Like why why.

1622
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:46,719
Speaker 1: Do not do both?

1623
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:49,479
Speaker 6: Like, you know, take some time off to do you

1624
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:51,640
Speaker 6: and then do the group and go back and.

1625
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:55,800
Speaker 3: Perfectly do it because it works for everybody that way too,

1626
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:56,320
Speaker 3: you know.

1627
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 6: It works for everybody. Yeah, And this is just more

1628
01:08:58,320 --> 01:09:01,360
Speaker 6: or less a creative effort for me to go out

1629
01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:07,679
Speaker 6: and stretch out as an EP entitled Sean and it's

1630
01:09:07,720 --> 01:09:12,720
Speaker 6: out now download on iTunes. It's five songs. It's just

1631
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:16,120
Speaker 6: strictly R and B music that you hang with it with,

1632
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:19,439
Speaker 6: with your loved one with, cruise down the street with,

1633
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:21,920
Speaker 6: you can cook your food with, you can make a

1634
01:09:21,960 --> 01:09:25,360
Speaker 6: little love with, like you know, it's it's it's basically

1635
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:28,880
Speaker 6: the things that people would expect from somebody like me.

1636
01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:31,559
Speaker 6: But it's just without the two other guys in the group.

1637
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:34,719
Speaker 1: And how are the guys with that? Are they super

1638
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:36,800
Speaker 1: supportive of you and and doing that thing.

1639
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 6: They're extremely supportive and they you know, they give their

1640
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:44,880
Speaker 6: critiques and you know, things of that nature, and which

1641
01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 6: is what I appreciate. And you know, by just keep

1642
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:49,439
Speaker 6: it moving.

1643
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 3: From that point, what part of the business has have

1644
01:09:52,640 --> 01:09:54,439
Speaker 3: you seen it change that you don't like?

1645
01:09:58,680 --> 01:09:59,559
Speaker 6: How long does the show?

1646
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:02,200
Speaker 1: Uh uh?

1647
01:10:02,479 --> 01:10:12,080
Speaker 6: Well, I think it's the the generational gap that at once,

1648
01:10:12,400 --> 01:10:15,240
Speaker 6: at one point there was never a gap, like from

1649
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:20,920
Speaker 6: my generation respected the artists that came before years before,

1650
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:25,640
Speaker 6: Like we had conversations and talks and actual shows with

1651
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:28,720
Speaker 6: the Temptations and Stevie Wonder and the Four Tops and

1652
01:10:29,240 --> 01:10:32,679
Speaker 6: you know, Michael Jackson and guys that you know came

1653
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:37,600
Speaker 6: before us and we would have powers with them and

1654
01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:41,080
Speaker 6: learn and they would tell us stuff and teach us

1655
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:44,200
Speaker 6: things and and all this other stuff. Just like what

1656
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:51,400
Speaker 6: I've noticed in this generation is that, yeah, they acknowledged that.

1657
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 6: We were just talking about this yesterday, me and my guys.

1658
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:59,040
Speaker 6: But the respect is gone. It's like they don't. They

1659
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:04,480
Speaker 6: don't they last the ability to show respect, not necessarily

1660
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:08,200
Speaker 6: you know, be a kiss at, but you know, understand

1661
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,160
Speaker 6: who's in front.

1662
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:12,439
Speaker 2: Of you, who who was before you, who paved the

1663
01:11:12,479 --> 01:11:13,439
Speaker 2: way for you.

1664
01:11:14,040 --> 01:11:18,360
Speaker 6: Right, and not only that, understand that their ability still remains.

1665
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:21,640
Speaker 6: There's still very much impact, right. And you know, I

1666
01:11:23,320 --> 01:11:26,120
Speaker 6: hate to make it a black white thing, but it's

1667
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 6: it's normally with with you know, black artists, right, I

1668
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:35,519
Speaker 6: said in AWE, when I see eighty thousand people show

1669
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:39,679
Speaker 6: up to a Rolling Stone concert and they're each about

1670
01:11:39,680 --> 01:11:43,559
Speaker 6: one hundred and forty five years old there and they

1671
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:47,800
Speaker 6: still rock out. And you see of course fans that

1672
01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:52,320
Speaker 6: probably are the same age, and then you see their kids. Right,

1673
01:11:52,479 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 6: Like the respect and the legacy of the of the

1674
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:01,320
Speaker 6: respect that the legacy is there, and I just wish

1675
01:12:01,479 --> 01:12:04,760
Speaker 6: the same thing you know for artists like myself and

1676
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:11,760
Speaker 6: you know other artists too, that the younger generation embraces, uh,

1677
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:14,519
Speaker 6: the stuff that we did and still continue to do.

1678
01:12:14,840 --> 01:12:19,880
Speaker 6: And we're willing participant in wanting to show them things

1679
01:12:19,880 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 6: and wanting to teach them and have them learn because

1680
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,960
Speaker 6: that's what was bestowed upon us. So we just want

1681
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,280
Speaker 6: to carry on this tradition and teach these kids. But

1682
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,120
Speaker 6: they seem like a lot of them just don't want

1683
01:12:30,120 --> 01:12:30,920
Speaker 6: to be taught.

1684
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:32,800
Speaker 1: Out.

1685
01:12:33,680 --> 01:12:38,719
Speaker 6: Well, you know, Michael Jordan said something about sports when

1686
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:45,400
Speaker 6: he said, you know, money destroyed the game, and to

1687
01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:47,960
Speaker 6: some degree, it's the same thing with the music industry.

1688
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:53,000
Speaker 6: These kids, thanks to streaming and downloads and Instagram and

1689
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:57,400
Speaker 6: and you get instant gratification if you're you know, have

1690
01:12:57,600 --> 01:13:00,800
Speaker 6: something out there that people can see. People come popular

1691
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:05,160
Speaker 6: so quickly without any type of proper guidance, so instantly

1692
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:08,200
Speaker 6: they feel like, oh, well, you can't tell me enough

1693
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:11,479
Speaker 6: right now, you get right, you know, I'm look at this,

1694
01:13:11,880 --> 01:13:14,240
Speaker 6: Look at all these streams I got, you know, look

1695
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:17,439
Speaker 6: at this this gold watch eye bought. Look at this car.

1696
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:19,800
Speaker 6: You know, you know that's specify. Like, what are you

1697
01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:24,240
Speaker 6: going to tell me, old man that I don't already know?

1698
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:28,160
Speaker 6: And I'm like, well, how to stay around maybe longer

1699
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:28,920
Speaker 6: than two summers.

1700
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:31,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, they probably wouldn't be able to sell a record

1701
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:32,000
Speaker 2: back then.

1702
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:36,280
Speaker 6: So yeah, but that's that's the thing I think. I

1703
01:13:36,479 --> 01:13:41,120
Speaker 6: I I tend to It tends to make me because

1704
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:44,439
Speaker 6: you see, it's almost like watching the kids drive a

1705
01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:47,320
Speaker 6: car off the cliff anyway, You're getting told them like, yo,

1706
01:13:47,960 --> 01:13:51,360
Speaker 6: don't do that, right, And I've seen so many do it,

1707
01:13:51,400 --> 01:13:54,840
Speaker 6: and so many do it constantly. Every you hear artists

1708
01:13:55,160 --> 01:14:00,960
Speaker 6: here today, gone today, and that that's that dad to me,

1709
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:02,320
Speaker 6: and they don't want to you know, a lot of

1710
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,400
Speaker 6: them don't want to listen. So but that's one of

1711
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:06,400
Speaker 6: the main things. I think. There's a few of us,

1712
01:14:06,479 --> 01:14:08,439
Speaker 6: but I think that's the one that kind of sticks out,

1713
01:14:08,439 --> 01:14:10,639
Speaker 6: mainly because we were just the guys and I were

1714
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:11,360
Speaker 6: just disgusting that.

1715
01:14:11,439 --> 01:14:14,000
Speaker 1: Yes, oh yeah, that totally makes sense. And now, Sean,

1716
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:16,439
Speaker 1: outside of music, do you have any other kind of

1717
01:14:16,960 --> 01:14:19,559
Speaker 1: things that you're getting into business wise or for yourself.

1718
01:14:20,800 --> 01:14:24,080
Speaker 6: I do have. My wife and I have an indoor

1719
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:29,360
Speaker 6: playground and woodland hills. Yeah. Yeah, we love kids. And

1720
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:34,160
Speaker 6: it's funny because when our kids were younger. My sons

1721
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:37,360
Speaker 6: just turned sixteen May thirtieth, so, you know. But when

1722
01:14:37,360 --> 01:14:40,920
Speaker 6: they were bathy, we would throw parties for them and

1723
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:42,880
Speaker 6: their friends to come over, and all their parents would

1724
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:46,120
Speaker 6: just coming. Oh my god, you guys throw the best parties,

1725
01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:49,240
Speaker 6: you know what I mean. And my wife is like,

1726
01:14:49,280 --> 01:14:51,400
Speaker 6: you know, we should make this a business one day

1727
01:14:51,760 --> 01:14:55,800
Speaker 6: and well on and behold. We have an indoor playground

1728
01:14:55,800 --> 01:15:00,040
Speaker 6: in Woodland Hills called Shooty Goots, which is uh, it

1729
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:03,360
Speaker 6: is a big thing that I gave my twin boys.

1730
01:15:03,360 --> 01:15:05,879
Speaker 6: We just we just kind of named it the company

1731
01:15:05,920 --> 01:15:07,320
Speaker 6: that and oh my gosh, I'm.

1732
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:10,240
Speaker 3: Looking right now online and it looks adorable and we're

1733
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:12,600
Speaker 3: taking our Is it open on weekends or is it

1734
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:14,440
Speaker 3: closed on weekends because a lot of these.

1735
01:15:14,320 --> 01:15:18,400
Speaker 6: Places normally it's clods on weekends for party, but it is,

1736
01:15:18,479 --> 01:15:25,040
Speaker 6: but it is open on the weekdays. Cut it's fun,

1737
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:29,679
Speaker 6: it's clean, it's comfortable for the kids and the parents.

1738
01:15:29,720 --> 01:15:32,040
Speaker 6: The parents can sit, they can get their work done,

1739
01:15:32,120 --> 01:15:35,519
Speaker 6: they could make their business calls and not worry about

1740
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:39,080
Speaker 6: the kids wander off or anything like that. It's it's

1741
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:42,679
Speaker 6: it's safe, you know. We we we tried to think

1742
01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:45,479
Speaker 6: of everything because my wife and I, between our three

1743
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:50,800
Speaker 6: children have gone through gone to every playground indoor, outdoor

1744
01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:53,400
Speaker 6: in the Valley of Los Angeles. So we just took

1745
01:15:53,439 --> 01:15:55,040
Speaker 6: the things that we liked and the things that we

1746
01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:59,960
Speaker 6: didn't and we incorporated uh that into our own space.

1747
01:16:00,240 --> 01:16:00,760
Speaker 2: I love that.

1748
01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:04,800
Speaker 3: Well, Sean, I cannot thank you enough for calling in.

1749
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:06,759
Speaker 3: I know you have a million things to do, because

1750
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:10,519
Speaker 3: we know how important you are and everything you've paved

1751
01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:13,120
Speaker 3: the way for for you know, and for music, and

1752
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:15,240
Speaker 3: you know, we just we really truly do you know,

1753
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:18,400
Speaker 3: idolize you guys and Boys to Men and so we're excited.

1754
01:16:18,479 --> 01:16:24,280
Speaker 3: We're going to download your EP and not you know what, Yeah,

1755
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:26,240
Speaker 3: we're going to download streaming a lot. We're gonna buy it.

1756
01:16:26,479 --> 01:16:31,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you very very much. And yeah, I appreciate

1757
01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:33,280
Speaker 6: the call you guys. You actually woke me up because

1758
01:16:33,280 --> 01:16:34,479
Speaker 6: I have to go to a sound check.

1759
01:16:36,360 --> 01:16:38,040
Speaker 2: Well good morning, babe.

1760
01:16:38,560 --> 01:16:40,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I have a great day.

1761
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:43,120
Speaker 3: We so appreciate it. And everyone needs to go see

1762
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:47,240
Speaker 3: Boys to Men at their residency. It continues June seventh,

1763
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:51,920
Speaker 3: Tickets at ticketmaster dot com. Sean, Thank you so much, Sean.

1764
01:16:51,520 --> 01:16:53,200
Speaker 1: Thank you brother. I really appreciate your time.

1765
01:16:53,200 --> 01:16:55,679
Speaker 6: Man, No, thank you, thank you. Got a good woman.

1766
01:16:56,520 --> 01:17:00,120
Speaker 1: Yes, I do. I got a great one. Thanks, I

1767
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:03,280
Speaker 1: can't buy Thank god, thank you.

1768
01:17:05,120 --> 01:17:05,760
Speaker 5: What do you think?

1769
01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:09,519
Speaker 1: Wow? That took me by surprise, Like.

1770
01:17:09,479 --> 01:17:11,320
Speaker 2: You didn't when he was like to sing, It's like,

1771
01:17:11,360 --> 01:17:12,000
Speaker 2: did you not know?

1772
01:17:12,720 --> 01:17:15,560
Speaker 1: No? I knew, but I'm like if someone singing boy like,

1773
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, why is this person not singing their song?

1774
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:22,840
Speaker 1: Because we just saw them kind of wrote it off.

1775
01:17:23,160 --> 01:17:25,960
Speaker 3: Oh that's funny because I was like, Babe, it's boys some.

1776
01:17:26,080 --> 01:17:28,680
Speaker 1: Nuts, I know, because you already did that for me, right,

1777
01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:28,920
Speaker 1: But you.

1778
01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:30,559
Speaker 2: Didn't get to talk to him, so I felt bad.

1779
01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:35,559
Speaker 1: I know, Yeah, you totally blew that weekend. I'm just kidding. No,

1780
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:38,240
Speaker 1: So that's what confused me. I'm like, why why is

1781
01:17:38,280 --> 01:17:41,639
Speaker 1: someone else singing singing boys and men right now?

1782
01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:43,360
Speaker 5: That is so funny.

1783
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:44,400
Speaker 2: That's such a nice guy.

1784
01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:45,960
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it was awesome.

1785
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:46,599
Speaker 2: That's so cool.

1786
01:17:46,800 --> 01:17:49,200
Speaker 3: Did you ever think you're the boy that bought his

1787
01:17:49,240 --> 01:17:52,000
Speaker 3: first record? Not always men would ever talk to him

1788
01:17:52,040 --> 01:17:54,040
Speaker 3: on the phone in person too?

1789
01:17:54,479 --> 01:17:54,599
Speaker 1: Oh?

1790
01:17:54,600 --> 01:17:56,439
Speaker 3: I forgot to tell him that you bought that twenty

1791
01:17:56,479 --> 01:17:58,560
Speaker 3: dollars freaking binder.

1792
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:00,400
Speaker 1: Over friend photo.

1793
01:18:02,080 --> 01:18:04,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, you've never wanted it.

1794
01:18:03,840 --> 01:18:06,080
Speaker 1: It was more like, okay, do you want like the

1795
01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:08,000
Speaker 1: twenty dollars just a file, or do you want to

1796
01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:10,840
Speaker 1: buy this for like five hundred dollars, Like, yep, five hundred,

1797
01:18:10,880 --> 01:18:11,240
Speaker 1: let's do it.

1798
01:18:11,280 --> 01:18:13,920
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I didn't give

1799
01:18:13,960 --> 01:18:16,040
Speaker 3: you a chance. Fine, it was so cute, but now

1800
01:18:16,320 --> 01:18:16,680
Speaker 3: that was.

1801
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:19,439
Speaker 1: Cool, Honey. I appreciate that. You just go above and beyond.

1802
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:21,160
Speaker 2: Hey, thank Amy, she got the contact.

1803
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:22,880
Speaker 1: Amy, you're the best.

1804
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:23,960
Speaker 2: Give it up to the sug.

1805
01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:25,240
Speaker 1: The sug all right.

1806
01:18:25,320 --> 01:18:30,000
Speaker 3: That's we can't make that any but that's we're ending

1807
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:30,559
Speaker 3: the show right now.

1808
01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:35,400
Speaker 1: There's nothing else, so the legend, all right,