WEBVTT - KELLEY EARNHART MILLER 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:09.760 Welcome back, my friends, to another podcast episode of Love Someone, 0:00:10.440 --> 0:00:13.040 and welcome to if you're joining me for the first time. 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:15.960 This is a place where I get to have some 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:21.920 really fascinating conversations with some really fascinating people. I hope 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:25.160 you're enjoying each episode as much as I am enjoying 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:28.400 bringing them to you. Whether you're driving to work or 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:31.960 driving home from work, or you're listening in the gym, 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:36.159 taking a walk, doing household chores, or maybe you're just 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:40.520 cozied up someplace, got something refreshing to drink, and you're 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:45.160 listening into these podcasts. Thank you. I'm kind of well 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:50.760 known for dispensing advice, playing songs for the love lorn, 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:55.560 the love sick, the lonely. I share words of encouragement 0:00:55.680 --> 0:01:02.040 for exhausted parents, especially during COVID, the empty nesters, the 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:06.560 new grandparents, the teenagers that are falling in love for 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:11.200 the very first time, or driving their mom right to 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:15.000 the brink of Craig Craig. That advice comes from my 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:19.200 own personal experience. It's usually heart centered and meant to 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:21.760 smooth over the rough edges, to help you focus on 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:25.440 the good and the positive, to help you recognize your 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:29.280 strength to help you find your faith, to find your 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:34.440 place in this world, to help bring a note of serenity, 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:38.039 and today's guest on love someone is also here to 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:42.399 dispense a little advice, but she comes from a much 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:47.400 different background than I do. Instead of playing happy love 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:51.920 songs to accompany her wisdom, she has built are You 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:57.200 Ready for This? A motor sports empire and is following 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:01.880 up by giving advice on business life from the pole 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:06.160 position she is in now. Kelly Earnhart Miller is a 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:11.200 co owner and general manager of JR Motorsports and is 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:17.720 considered one of the most prominent businesswomen in NASCAR today. 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:22.400 She oversees the company's race team, management team, and business 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:26.360 ventures for her brother and her best friend, Dale Earnhardt Jr. 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:30.480 And yes, she is the daughter of NASCAR racing legend 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:34.400 Dale Earnhardt. She is also the author of a book 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:40.440 appropriately titled Drive Nine Lessons to Win in Business and 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:45.440 in Life, and she is here with us today. Can't 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:48.040 wait to talk to Kelly. We're gonna give this interview 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:51.639 with Kelly the red light go signal. The flags will 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:55.480 drop right after. 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The Young Woodworkers kit 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:44.960 Club is designed for children seven to twelve years of age. 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:49.320 It's the perfect window of opportunity to pass on a 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:54.520 love for woodworking. Visit young woodworkers dot com slash love 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:59.840 for fifty off. That's young Woodworkers dot com slash love 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:04.600 for fifty percent off with me on love Someone today 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:08.160 is somebody Kelly. I gotta say I never would have 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:12.120 thought of doing a podcast with you, but my sister 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.040 came to me and said, oh my God, says you 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:19.279 are going to love this woman. She is the real deal. 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:23.360 She's the hot ticket. She's as real as a heart attack. 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.200 And that You've got just a heart of gold, and 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:30.760 I'm like, tell me more, and so welcome Kelly to 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.799 love someone with the Lilah. Here I am the Queen 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:37.880 of sappy love songs talking to the queen of the 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:42.040 race track. That's quite a quite a mix, isn't it 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.160 quite a mix? You have a new book, app and 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:46.880 I just I want to I want to hear it all. 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:49.240 I want to hear your story. I want our listeners 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:52.839 to hear your story. I haven't had a chance to 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:55.919 read the book yet. My sister did and she said, oh, yeah, 0:04:55.960 --> 0:05:01.000 she gets real, So tell me your story. Yeah. So um. 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:04.200 My paperback for the book Drive Nine Lessons to Win 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:06.480 in Business in Life just recently came out in the 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:09.920 last couple of months and a Delila and you've I 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.920 believe you've written several books and there was no timing 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:19.599 like last April seventh when my hardback released at the 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:23.400 onset of the COVID pandemic. So that was no fun. 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:25.599 The fact that you couldn't go on a book tour, 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:28.320 you couldn't go travel around, you couldn't do all those 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:31.400 things that we do when we release a book. That 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:34.320 had to have just like taken the wind out of 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:37.200 your sales for a minute. Yes, it sure do you 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:40.080 because you know, I've spent eighteen months working on the book, 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:43.159 and so you know, we've gotten let's say, used to 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:46.719 the pandemic in a sense that we have more knowledge 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:49.200 on what to expect and you know, how it's going 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:51.520 and all of those good things. But on that day 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:54.960 in April, uh, it was so new and it was 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.600 so scary as to what was going on. So yeah, 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.960 all of those things were I did a few media things, 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:04.239 you know, some podcasts and a few things by zoom, 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:06.839 but yeah, the typical I didn't get to experience the 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.960 typical uh, you know, book tour, boo signing, media tours. 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:11.240 I was scheduled to go to l A, I was 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:14.120 scheduled go to New York. All those things were shut 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:17.640 down very quickly. Um, And it was very disheartening because 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:20.159 you put a lot of your heart and so into 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:23.080 a project like this, and so it's why I'm more 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.320 excited to talk to you now because I didn't get 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:27.160 that much of an opportunity to do so with a 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:31.960 hardback book. But maybe that was God's timing, because I 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:34.800 think now that things are starting to turn around and 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.280 open up, and kids are going back to school, and 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:40.120 people are going back to work, and restaurants are trying 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:44.280 to reopen. I think now we need your book and 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:48.960 we need that drive more than ever. You know, that 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:51.280 was a big slam on the brakes for a year, 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:54.080 and now everybody's putting the pedal to the metal. So 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:58.359 tell me about the book drive. Yeah. So, um, my 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:01.400 brother Dale earned Heart June, You're who's a race car driver, 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:06.680 wrote a book about his experiences with concussions, primarily, and 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:08.840 in talking with the book publisher, as we were, I 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:13.120 managed my brother's career and act as his agent and 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:16.320 and things like that. So in working with the book publisher, 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:17.720 they turned to me and said, you know, have you 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:19.360 ever thought about writing a book? And I said it 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:22.160 was a matter of fact, I'd love to write a book. Uh. 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:24.520 I really wanted to write a book about being the 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:29.280 daughter of Deal Earnhart because, UM, I really struggled as 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:35.160 a kid, teenager, young twenties year old. Um, being his daughter, 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.600 we had a tough relationship. Um, and so for a 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:41.680 lot of different reasons, I wanted to talk about that 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:45.360 because my dad, who's bigger than life to Deal Earnhart, 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:49.680 who's seven time champion in NASCAR is bigger than life 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.000 to so many people, and so most of my life, UM, 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:56.040 I had to listen to your dad's so awesome. Your 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.880 dad's um, you know the best ever. I've got this 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.840 room of everything about your dad. I just love your dad. 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.920 I met your dad Dotta, Dotta dot right, and I 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.360 love all these stories, except that there was this little 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:09.960 piece of well, there was a big piece of my 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:14.000 heart really that was crying out going. I wish I 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:17.360 could love my dad like that because I saw my 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:20.400 dad as my dad and that relationship wasn't the best 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:23.680 for me. And so that's really kind of where my 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.559 focus was. And as we got into uh talking about 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:29.239 the book and all, and they said, you know, Kelly, 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:32.640 all of that's great, but let's not stay in the past. 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:36.200 Let's talk about how that experience and how that molded 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:39.120 you and shaped you as a businesswoman in NASCAR. And 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.600 so I spend time in the book for the first 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:45.320 four chapters talking about my relationship with my dad growing up. 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:48.000 You know, these different feelings that I had, and look, 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.680 my dad wasn't a bad dad. I had a roof 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:53.920 over my head. My dad loved me my dad had 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.400 a hard time showing love. He had a hard time 0:08:56.440 --> 0:09:01.160 that emotional piece that I needed, you know, just didn't exist. 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.000 We were a product of divorce at an early age. 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:06.720 And and just you know, so many different things that 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:08.839 I talked about in the book, and so those first 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.000 four chapters kind of shaped that up for the non lessons, 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:16.160 and and the non lessons are really business oriented, life oriented. 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:18.400 I'm a mom of three, have a twenty year old, 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:20.880 a fifteen year old, and a nine year old. Um, 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:23.000 you know, I'm a wife. My husband and I just 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:27.160 celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary. And uh, you know, 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:30.160 I had a relationship prior to that that resulted in 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:33.440 my two beautiful girls. And during the period of life 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:36.160 for me was a struggle and so I went through 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:39.559 therapy and did a lot of work on myself. So 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:43.400 the book just talks about from a business perspective. And 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.360 you you said, you know, I do believe in God's timing, 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:49.360 and you know, the struggle is real to that total 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.760 trust they're right because we live in this earthly world 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:53.760 where all these things are going on around us, and 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.280 so my struggle is real when it comes to that. 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:58.400 But timing is everything. And I talked about that in 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:00.360 my book, you know, I talked about being a clinic 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:04.120 and approachable and just how to make decisions and positioning 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:06.680 yourself for success and letting go of things so that 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:08.880 you can move forward, which was huge in my life 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.280 for me to do. And you know, just so many 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:14.960 things that work in business, communication and managing your emotions 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:17.600 and balancing work and home life. So you know, a 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.960 lot within these pages, um and it is real, and 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.440 I hope it's encouraging to other people as they read 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:26.840 the book. So one of the things that I know 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:29.960 people keep shining a spotlight on or making a big 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:32.000 deal about, is the fact that you're a woman in 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:36.480 a man's world. You're a woman in a business of 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:43.000 field that is dominated by your dad, your brother and 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:46.760 thousands of men. But you don't make a big deal 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:50.760 about that. You just say, I'm I'm just a person 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:52.880 doing a great job, doing the best job that I 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:57.679 can possibly do. And I love that you're making a 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:02.160 statement by not making a statement. Yeah, that's kind of 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.679 my way, you know. I just I think it's important 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:09.720 just to let yourself shine. You know, it doesn't matter male, female, 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:13.600 you know, young, old, whether you were the Harvard grad 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.880 or the community school grad. The point is what you 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:19.800 do with it right, you know, your actions, your integrity. 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.800 I say in the book, you know my goal ultimately, 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.080 I summed it up in five words, is I just 0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:27.680 want to make people happy. I just want people to 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.320 be happy, feel happy, and whatever I can do to 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:35.479 participate in making that work. You know, Like my workplace, 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:39.200 the most important thing to me here is not winning races. 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:41.880 It's people. It's the people that make up my business, 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:43.520 you know, the hundred and thirty people that come in 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:47.240 here every day and and devote themselves to this business 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.440 and so that we can win races. But if I 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.559 don't invest in the people and and hold the people 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:54.719 in a in a good place, we don't get to 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:58.080 win races because it doesn't work like that. I mean, 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.480 you've got to have a good flow and a good work, 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.080 you know, for to make it out happen. So I 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:05.600 don't ever focus on the female aspect of it. I 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:09.400 know I'm in a unique place, um and I'm one 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:12.640 of very few females in the sport. And I know 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:16.440 I can have a voice for females to do more 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.640 and be more. But I just let you know, my 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.360 actions and my skills and and so on and so 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.120 forth kind of speak for themselves to kind of push 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:28.439 that message or agenda, if you want to call it that. 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:31.520 So I want to go back loop back to something 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:33.680 you said a few minutes ago, when you were talking 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.840 about your dad and how people would gush over him 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.600 and show you pictures I'm sure they had taken with him, 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:44.480 or or the memorabilia from races. My kids, I'm you know, 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:49.200 certainly not not as bigger than life than your dad is. 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:51.800 But I've been doing this radio thing for a long time. 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.920 Give yourself some credit now, because I was in my 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.560 office and I'm going to go to a podcast with 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:04.559 Delilah and everybody was like, the Delilah and my kids 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.559 get that all the time, Oh my gosh, your mom this, 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:09.360 your mom that. And my daughter by bio daughter, Sheyla. 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:12.440 I know it's such a struggle for her because she's like, 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:16.000 you don't know the mom I know, Okay, you don't 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.480 know the mom that throws red outs and throws nutties 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:20.480 when she finds out that we took the car and 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.840 snuck out. She's grown now with two kids of her own, 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:28.640 so but I know that is so so hard for kids, 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.560 and I try not to. When I was younger and 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.200 I just had one, he went with me everywhere. He 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:36.240 went with me to all my appearances. He was on 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.440 stage with me, blah blah blah, because I was a 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:42.000 single parent with one kid. But as my family grew, 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:45.680 as I built my family, I still took them with 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.280 me when I had to travel a lot. And then 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.040 when they started finding their path, I tried to make 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:53.160 it all about them, you know, when they were in 0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:56.760 school plays or school musicals or whatever. But I would 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.760 go to the school musical just to support them, and 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.120 teen people would crowd around. Oh my god, I heard 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.520 you on there, you know, ten years ago, and you 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:07.400 said blah blah blah, And I'm like, I'm here for 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:09.640 my daughter. Can you look at my daughters? She's that 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:13.280 pretty girl up on stage right there. Did your dad 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:16.760 ever try to figure out a way to make that 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:20.800 easier or was he oblivious? And a lot of that 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:26.560 didn't bother me. I think my wounds emotionally were due 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:31.560 to my parents divorced. I was four. We live with 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:35.960 my mom and never seen our dad hardly between then 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:40.680 and third grade. Very little recollection you know, there were 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.240 other women in my dad's life there in that time 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.000 period that we would you know, we would go maybe 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:49.160 stay the night with him or whatever. And you know, 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.360 my mom was trying to work really hard and provide 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.600 for us, and you know, we just had this dad 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:56.120 that was you know, a little absent, I guess would 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:59.560 be the best word for it. So, but then we 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:02.280 went through a house fire in the third grade and 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:04.680 our house burnt to the ground at six am in 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.640 the morning on the school morning, and it was literally 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:11.760 my mom was just at the end of her means 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:17.080 and she felt forced to move back to Virginia with 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:19.760 her mom because we rented this house. We just you know, 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:23.400 tried to make things meet really and so she felt 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:25.880 that we would be best suited to go live with 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:28.520 our dad went and lived with the man that you 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:34.400 hadn't seen but weekend, right, So we go there and 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:37.960 my dad had an own and off relationship with my 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.360 stepmother prior to us moving in, and then when we 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:44.040 moved in, and then they married about a year and 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:46.480 a half after we moved in, and that was a 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:50.120 really tough relationship for us because she was young. Um, 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:54.200 you know, she inherited too kids there was a lot 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.440 of fighting that I was aware of between my parents 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:00.640 and her, and so it just it was a situation 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:03.080 that me as a kid, I didn't need to experience. 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.240 I didn't need to know that those things were going on. 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.360 I didn't need to be pitted in between my parents 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.200 and and my dad eventually kind of gave up the 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:14.120 control of parenting to my stepmother. You know, he sacrificed 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:15.960 a lot in the early years to be a race 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:19.560 car driver, and the sacrifice continued, you know, ultimately really 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:21.640 up to his death, because that was a huge sacrifice 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.280 as well. We just never I don't know, he just 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:28.520 never had an emphasis on just letting us know we 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:30.920 were loved. You know, something was said the other day 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.920 that someone said, when I disciplined my kids, I say, 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:36.560 this behavior, you know, I don't like this behavior. This 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:38.640 is the kind of behavior of that. You know, this 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:42.280 isn't acceptable. It's never you're a bad kid, Why did 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.440 you do that? Dot at all? And that's how it 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:46.640 was for us. Our our relationship with our dad was 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.520 very conditional, and so if you didn't act and do 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:53.880 a certain way, you just didn't get his love. Even 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:55.920 into my twenties, it was that way. If I didn't 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.360 do what my dad said, if I didn't date who 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.320 he wanted me to date, if I didn't break up 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.000 with who he wanted me to break up with, whatever 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:03.800 it might have been, if I just didn't act the 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:08.359 way he wanted me to act, it was just cut off, 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:10.919 you know, done. And we even went through a period 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.959 of not speaking to each other, which was terrible. I 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:17.080 was twenty six years old, and he passed at twenty seven, 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.680 and and we were I had a five month old 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:23.359 little girl prior to his passing, and we were just 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:28.280 starting to try to repair and mend our relationship with 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:31.159 her presence um. He was super proud of her and 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:34.760 super excited to uh have her, you know, in our lives, 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:37.680 and then five months later he died. And and so 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:39.600 you know, there was a lot of things that I 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.280 needed to put to bed as an adult based on 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:45.160 all those experiences before I could kind of be happy 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:48.240 with myself and and be a contributor to a relationship 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.560 and to my kids and be a good mom. But 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:54.080 how how wonderful of you to be bold enough to 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.640 be honest about it. I think a lot of men 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.280 in that time period and even today, it all boils 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.159 down to ex dictations. You know, your dad had expectations 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:05.800 of his kids. My dad had expectations of me and 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:09.480 my brother and my sister, and when we didn't meet 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:14.199 those expectations. There were four kids in my family, and 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:17.120 the two of us that were older seemed to never 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:23.320 meet dad's expectations. And so then the then the affection 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.960 and the love was very conditional. You know, it was 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:31.000 very very conditional, and I think men in that generation sorry, 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.720 but I also think that it's it's still a lot 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.520 of people struggle with it today. So I'm proud of 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:39.280 you for being able to speak your truth. Because with 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.960 a dad that famous, a brother that famous, a career 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:46.000 as famous as yours, it's got to be hard, exactly, 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.240 And I think, you know, it's it's actually been. It's 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:51.560 been more positive than I would have thought, because when 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:54.359 I started the process, Um, you know, one of the 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:56.280 things that was said to me was, you know, you 0:18:56.320 --> 0:18:59.280 don't talk bad about people's heroes, right, And my dad 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:03.159 is a hero to many. But I think that a 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:07.119 lot of my dad's fans, who obviously would read this book, 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:11.359 they've known me through the past twenty years of running 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:14.600 Dell's business, and and they know my heart and that 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:17.760 authenticity and kind of how I lay it out there. 0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:21.160 I think that that's been better for people to accept 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:24.840 my conversation about my dad. Um. But you know, twenty 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:27.240 years ago, that wouldn't have been even ten years ago, 0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:29.960 I don't think that would have been feasible. Um again 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:32.600 timing you know when I wrote this book, because I 0:19:32.640 --> 0:19:35.800 think the world has has you know, evolved and changed 0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:39.080 in terms of that acceptance. And that's why I didn't 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:41.719 speak about it prior to writing this book in a 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:44.720 big way, because I don't think that it would have 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.480 been as accepted as it is now. You know, I don't. 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:50.560 It's not it's not a negative thing about my dad. 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.600 It's just my experience and I'm the only one that 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:55.920 had that experience, and so there's nothing wrong with me 0:19:56.440 --> 0:20:00.119 sharing that talking about that to others. So well, I 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:02.840 can't wait to get a copy of Drive. Um. Like 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:05.400 I said, my sister has been raving about you and 0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:08.760 raving about it. Tell me how you balance, Kelly, How 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:14.000 you balance personal life? Three kids very spread out? Your 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:17.679 oldest is how old twenty have a twenty and fifteen 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:20.359 year old and then a nine year old son. That's 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.600 that's quite a spread. It's not like you know, you 0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:26.800 you were three and done and moved on. So your 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:30.080 twenty year old starting life, going to school, moving out 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:34.200 that sort of thing, and your baby starting fourth grade, 0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:39.040 fifth grade, going into fourth yep, yep? How do you 0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:43.640 balance that? You know, I am I'm a doer for one. 0:20:43.720 --> 0:20:45.960 I just I get after it. You know, when I 0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:48.720 hit the four at six o'clock in the morning, I 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:52.600 just have a lot of energy and whatnot. So I'm 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:56.760 probably above average when it comes to just getting stuff done. 0:20:57.040 --> 0:21:00.200 Um and so so that's a good trait I get us, 0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:02.119 you know, to be in a fast paced life and 0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:04.200 three kids and run a business and and so on 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:06.280 and so forth, and and being the NASCAR world. But 0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:09.480 you know, ultimately, what I had to figure out in life, 0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:11.840 and I talk about this in my book about balancing 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:15.080 your work in life is for one, my family, you know, 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:17.719 is of the utmost importance. And so, like you were 0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:21.199 talking about earlier, when you go to uh, you know, 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:23.880 making time for the kids events and when you go 0:21:24.119 --> 0:21:25.960 to be all in and to be present at the 0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:28.800 play or the dance recital or whatever it might be, 0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:32.239 UM is super important. But also for them, you know, 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:35.359 to share my work experience and to share with them, 0:21:35.400 --> 0:21:38.200 you know why something at the moment may be more 0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:41.840 important than being able to get to something at school 0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:44.199 or whatnot. At least having one parents there is is 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:46.280 something that we try to do. But the one thing 0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:49.520 I had to learn really to balance my life was 0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:52.280 to say no. And that's a very difficult thing for 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:54.879 me because I'm a people pleaser. I want to you know, 0:21:54.960 --> 0:21:58.639 I want to do everything. And when you're good at stuff, 0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:01.399 people ask you to do stuff right, and so um, 0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:03.879 you know, I get asked to do a lot of things. 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:05.800 I get asked to be on a lot of different boards, 0:22:05.840 --> 0:22:08.840 I get asked to participate in a lot of different 0:22:08.960 --> 0:22:13.720